Johan's pov
My eyes widen seeing the house we had in the woods, being covered in Christmas light. Where did the time go? Was it already Christmas??
"What's all this?" I spoke up seeing Chazz and Syrus get out next to me as I see my parents and my baby sister come from inside the house with Hassleberry. "M-mom? Dad?? Jezzabelle??" I ran over from Jim's truck to embrace the three of them surprise still on my face.
"Hi sweetheart. How are you feeling?" Mom patted my face worry lines creasing on her face. My dad was no different it looked like he aged in the last three weeks. Jezzebelle took the opportunity to run to my friends and proceeded to climb Jim like he was some kind of jungle gym.
"He's finally awake…" I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face at the words that came from my mouth. My mom with tears of joy in her eyes looked at me. "Oh my goodness, I'm so glad honey."
Instinctively I pulled away from them a jolt of pain going through me. Her words would soon become sad. "He doesn't remember me.." I look away from the both of them. They shared a look with each other and both proceeded to slap my shoulders and cheeks simultaneously. "Ack!" I yelped in surprise at them seeing the fierce green and orange eyes the two shared.
"Don't you nope around my son. I didn't teach that to you." My dad scolded, my mother moved her hands to her waist frowning at me. "My son isn't a quitter either. Who cares if he doesn't remember!? You make new memories with him. You get him to fall in love with you all over again." I blink dumbfounded. To hear my parents actually on the same page for once? And especially about someone they were so split on.
"But dad.." I started rubbing the back of my neck. "You said you hated Judai." My father's orange eyes looked down from my face, his teal hair clearly a mess of its own unlike my mothers more kemp look.
"I did say that… I never meant it my boy. I know how much he means to you. It's like history had rewritten itself and your ancestors got their chances through you both." My green eyes widen looking at my father clearly.
I wasn't expecting him to care all too much especially about Judai. I still haven't forgotten when he stabbed Judai just to get his blood for Viper. He wanted Judai out of the picture for a long time so to hear him come to terms with Judai being my mate must've hit home somewhere along the way.
"He nearly got himself killed to bring you back from the point Viper put you in… And for that alone, I cannot give my gratitude enough to him. My deeds are unforgivable and I regret everything I did" I look at my father's face throughly. He had no hint of dishonesty about him. My father really meant it.
"So your okay… with me being gay?" My father looked bashful and embarrassed for a second but he looked me dead in the eyes a proud smile tugging at his face as he hugged me. I was so surprised by the hug that I couldn't return the gesture as he spoke to me quietly.
"Yes… and i'm sorry I didn't make you feel loved regardless of who you loved." That really stung and pulled at my heart as I felt tears swimming in my eyes. I wrapped my arms tightly around him squeezing my eyes shut as I could feel the tears leak through.
In a choked up voice I spoke to him. "Thank you… thank you dad." He pulled back away from me his hands now on either side of my face and wiped the tears that ran down my face with his thumbs. In that moment Hassleberry broke open the screen door cheering.
"Hoorah! I got the smoker working! We'll be eating good roast chicken tonight boys!" Standing on the porch lifting two naked uncooked chicken in either hand he grinned looking down at us with my father now scowling at him.
"Ooohhhh… shit… don't kill me sir." Hassleberry all but muttered as Jim shoved the male back inside the house, just as a black car pulled up and Alexis ran out of the back seat. "Guys!"
Syrus and Chazz looked confused between the two of them. "Where's the fire?" The two asked simultaneously. She panted her hands on her knees as she looked at the two of them. "I overheard… about Judai." Chazz grit his teeth. "He's not broken you know. He can bounce back from this, he has been through worse!" His outburst caught the attention of my parents who looked in his direction.
"Everyone thinks that Judai can't be the same. So what he's forgotten a few things. So what he can't remember the one man who's important in his life? At least he won't have to learn that his lover nearly threw himself off-" Syrus slammed his foot on Chazz's foot making the male yelp, but it was much too late as my heart stopped cold. Regret filled my very being as I dropped to my knees on the porch in front of my parents.
"Y-you nearly killed yourself…?" My mother muttered quietly tho it was loud with how the blood was rushing to my ears. I covered my face with my hands, they were shaking badly as I felt guilt nearly drown me.
"I-i'm so sorry…" my throat felt like it was gonna swell up and cut off my breathing. I was struggling to swallow my screams. I never wanted my family to know what Judai's condition nearly pushed me to.
I could feel eyes on me but someone touched my shoulder, I slowly raised my head from my hands to see Chazz looking guilt ridden. "I never should've said that…. anyone would've ended up in that position, Johan… Your not the only one okay..?" I recall Chaz explaining to me how he ended up on the roof when he was a child. Judai was the only one who cared to get him down.
I squeezed his shoulder back in response, silently thanking Chazz for that as He Alexis Syrus and Jezabelle head inside ahead of me and my parents. I looked out at the beauty of the nature just to help calm down the quivering guilt that rose inside of me. I just knew the shame on their faces would be heavy.
"You could've talked to us you know.." my mother started making my gaze snap back to her, my expression defeated. "I know… I should've… but you and dad had to deal with the packs and having to fix everything that Viper did… He wrecked so much, that it was my responsibility to handle Judai…And I nearly failed at that, if it hadn't been for Chazz Aster and the others…" Mom sat down next to me giving me a tight hug. "Oh sweetie, we are never too busy to see to your problems. Even your brother, well not so much all the time, could've been some help." She rolled her eyes along with dad at the mentioning of how often Jehu had truely been helpful.
"I see that now…I'm sorry for worrying you both so much." I sighed heavily leaning my head on mom's shoulder. Dad chuckled and patted my back heavy handedly. "Kids are the reason worrying exists. If we didn't have you brats, life would be boring." Mom snickered and threw a slap at dad who just avoided it while laughing himself.
Jezebelle's footsteps caught our attention as she pulled on Dad's shirt. "Daddy, Hassleberry lit the stove on fire…" I wanted to slam my face into the floor. Same tradition every year, Hassleberry somehow gets something lit on fire. Last year he managed to do that to Jim's car, which was unfortunate at best. And we left him alone at home to get wood for the fireplace, so how he lit the truck on fire was beyond us. Dad wasted no time running inside with Mom running after him to assest the damages.
I laughed at the irony as I leaned back on my arms looking up at the trees as the wind blew. I closed my eyes to allow myself to be swallowed up my the sounds that nature provided. And since my sharp hearing allowed me to hear a lot, I had to tune out the oncoming arguement that would ensue inside the house.
A smile played on my face as I nearly drifted right there, not realizing these last three weeks had kept me somewhat sleep deprived. I could feel the heaviness aching at the back of my mind.
But something always had to intervene. Only this time, it got my body errect and my attention grabbed. "What was that..?"
I listened again.
"-aaaah" a scream? This far out here?
"Slow down!" I blink my eyes in the direction of the dirt road leading to the house. It couldn't be. It can't be! I smelled the air carefully trying to get his scent.
Weirdly all I could actually smell was Jehu's rustic musk. He couldn't be with Jehu could he? I listened again. "Ahhhhhhhh!"
It sounded closer this time as I got off the porch and ran to the dirt road around the corner. My feet stop short as my body froze seeing that dark blue wolf form of my brothers with Judai grasping him around the neck as to not fall off.
"Slow down, Jehu!!! Ahhhh!!! Your gonna get me killed!" I could hear his voice plain as day. My heart fluttered slightly in acknowledgement. "Judai??" I called out making the distant brown lump of hair look up as to where Jehu was running and started grinning.
"Oh thank god I thought Jehu was kidnapping me!" Jehu trudged to a stop near me and shook the brunette off his back making Judai drop to the ground with a groan as he shifted back to his human form.
"Never doing a favor for your bratty cousin again…" Jehu grumbled as he walked on into the house a distant scream of both Alexis and Jezebelle could be heard with several voices yelling. "GET SOME CLOTHES ON!"
Every fiber of my being screamed at me to pull this goof in for a kiss as I watched him pull himself to his feet. I blushed absentmindedly as I ruffle the back of my hair looking away. "Your blushing…" Judai noted as I look back at him. "Huh?" I blinked at him.
"I can tell your blushing. Your trying to restrain yourself." Crap for being my amnesiac love, he could still read me. I nodded letting out a small sigh. "Y-yea… not being near you for almost 3 weeks has me… deprive you know?" I explained it as softly as I could, trying to keep the burning sensation off my face as I see him watching my face curiously. What looked like a warm smile spread across Judai's face as he chuckled under his breath.
"It makes sense. It's like this… pulsating feeling I get when I'm near you. I didn't realize it before… Is this what the call the mate's connection?" Judai held his hands together rubbing his pulse in his wrist. I watch his motions a smile tugging at my lips as I look him over his brown hair being hidden behind a soft fuzzy hat, a blue scarf wrapped around his neck…The same one I saw mom knitting weeks ago. Out of pure teasing, I took the cap off of his head so his brown two tone hair could be pushed around by the wind. "H-hey!" He pouted reaching for the hat which i held behind my back.
"I like you better with your hair all messy." He looked up at me surprise readily across his face and a slight blush blooming across his cheeks. Judai locked eyes with me. His chocolate brown eyes gleamed in the light, looking up at me.
I cocked my head to the side looking at him just wondering what was going through his head when he looked at me. He finally dropped his gaze a deep blush bloomed across his face. "S-sorry….I've just never met someone so extremely beautiful before." He ran a hand through his hair trying to hide his embarrassment as I chuckle.
"In my opinion I think your the cutest thing I've ever layed my eyes on." His face bloomed more red as he finally snagged the hat back from me in order to hid his face in it. "Y-you can only say that because you remember our time together…." He murmured into the hat, but i could still hear him clear as day.
I shook my head before tilting his face up to look at me, my hand staying on his chin. "No…I can say that despite memories. If I didn't know who you were, i would still fall in love with you all over again." Looking me in the eyes his hand gently touched the hand I left touching his chin as his finger stroked the palm of my hand.
In a half of second i took the hand he touched my palm with and pressed it palm up to my face and cupped my face with his hand. Hie eyes widen with surprise. "Your very warm, for it being so cold out…"
"Is this too much for you?" I ask gently. I wanted to make sure I wasn't pushing past any boundary he would have since he couldn't remember me nor felt the same way I did. Judai quickly shook his head. "N-no… I have to remember. Just this pulsating feeling alone is making my chest beat a little faster, so I don't know if it's being this close to you or what…" I chuckle at his bashfulness.
"Johan… I remember something…" my eyes widen as I lower my face closer to his. "What do you remember..?" I ask my face peeking with a bit of hope.
"You were there… next to Jim and Hassleberry… we have similar classes together as well…" I nodded my head smiling widely. "You couldn't stop staring at me, for some reason.."
I chuckled bashfully rubbing the back of my neck. "cause I wasn't expecting to see my mate staring at me dumbfounded. It was like a hot spark just hit me and I couldnt stop looking at you." I looked away from him dropping my hand from his. "I… I know you don't feel the same for me… I mean how can you?"
Judai looked at the hand I dropped from mine and a hint of sadness crossed his face as he looked back at me. "Look, just because I don't remember you… doesn't mean you weren't there in my memories… It's less I remember you and more like you were blotted out…"
I bite my lip a little looking at the shorter brunette and wondering where he was going with this observation he had. "What's your point?"
Judai shrugged a blush crossing his face as he reached for my hand once more. This time tugging me in the direction of the woods away from the house. I raised a brow but I didn't argue juist followed along with his wants.
I let him take me as deep into the woods as he wanted as he spoke up again. "I remember running through the trees. Viper was hunting us. He nearly injured you." I look at him in disbelief my eyes going wide. "You remember that..? But how?"
He turns to me after taking several steps away in front of me. "For some reason…Your wolf form isn't blocked out…I remember you watching my house when I was little, like you were some curious thing. I remember you getting me out of the woods when I was nearly killed by Jehu. I remember struggling in the river holding you in my arms and trying to get you to safety even tho I was too weak… I remember all of that… I just can't remember the man who fell in love with me." I bite the inside of my cheek trying to keep the wave of saddness and tears from trying to sweep me away.
Judai must've saw my struggle and ran to my side pressing his slightly cold hands to my face. I open my eyes to look at him as the tears ran down my face. "i'm sorry… i never wanted you to see me this weak." His mop of brown hair shook heavily as he looked at me a fierce passion behind his eyes as he grit his teeth. "Theres nothing to be ashamed of. Your in a lot of pain. but Johan… Just because I don't remember you… Doesn't mean anything…" He wiped the stray tear that was falling down my face.
He started to hum as he slowly sang. His voice singing a melody I only recently learned by watching his favorite musical while he was in his coma. Jim Hassleberry and the others managed to convince me to watch the musical we were doing in Theater class. But to hear the melody coming from Judai was on a different level than hearing the actual performers in the movie. " I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you…" He wiped another tear from my face as he continued to sing. "I don't need you to search for the proof that I should."
He gripped my hands tightly in his as I watched him pour his heart out in the only true fashion he's ever done it in.
"You don't have to convince me. You don't have to be scared your not enough.
Cause what we got going is good." He chuckled making me blush as he inched closer to me for a brief second making my heart jump out of my chest.
"I don't need more reminders of all thats been broken. I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget." Guess it was a good thing he didn't remember most of the awful things I did when I was being manipulated by Viper and Haou, He didn't deserve all of that at all.
"Clear the slate and start over. Try to quiet the noises in your head. We can't compete with all that." He chuckles flicking my nose getting my head out of my deep thoughts as I fell back into the snow embarrassed over him catching me in deep thought. He laughs at my tumble, i just roll my eyes as he continued.
The words out of his mouth had me both speechless and turning pink. "So what if it's us? What if its us? And only us?" Keeping direct eye contact with me, he knelt into the snow his knees on either side of my thighs as he continued to sing. "And what came before won't count anymore or matter? Can we try that?" I struggled to keep my face from flaming horribly at his actions as he just looked at me his voice getting softer as he sang a smile breaking across his face at my flusterness.
"What if its you and what if its me and what if thats all that we need it to be…And the rest of the world falls away… What do you say?" In that moment Judai planted himself in my lap and had both of his arms wrapped around my neck my face couldn't possibly get any more red, part of me wanting to cry for joy that he still wanted to be with me, despite everything. My arms crushed him to my chest, my arms aching at the sensation of finally getting to hold him again.
I let out a tight breath I held in as I looked at his face as he had pulled his head from my shoulder to look at me. "So what do you say…?" His warm breath hit me directly in the face and it took all the self restrain in my entire body to keep my lips from smashing into his.
I licked my chapped lips as I smiled up at this doofus. "You know I won't say no, so what's left to say?" Judai chuckled in my ear, it sounded like heaven in my mind as he ran his fingers through my hair, pressing his forehead to mine.