This has no connection to the plot just a little memory fluff of Stella's childhood. I've been considering ending the story abruptly but I've also been thinking of doing a small ova chapter or an epilogue to show everyone's lives in a time skip debate about it in the reviews
"Bruce leave me alone!" I cried out as I ran down the hall of the second story of my parents house. I was sobbing heavily tears ran down my face speckling my glasses with tears as I ducked into the bathroom and hid in the towel cupboard.
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place?
The reason I'm like this? My older brother bruce who should've been born of the devil and become a saint because that's all my parents see him as. Which gives him free reign to terrorize me. I held the door tightly shut as my brother came in and repeatedly banged on the door.
It was still a new house and we were getting used to things because things have been rough between mom and dad for a few years now and that basically gave Bruce an I don't see nothing I don't know nothing situation.
Like somehow you don't belong and no one understands you?
Bruce went to high school but he had to come to my middle school for remedial courses because he flunked math but not even the principal wanted to deal with him anymore. It's how he knew people in my grade unfortunately.
Thankfully the move had given me a chance to make friends… tho I'm not very good at it… I felt the heavy tears fall down my face as I sobbed loudly praying to someone out there in the universe for my dick of a brother to go away. The fact he still tortured and bullied me even through our teen years was messed up and unfortunate.
Do you ever wanna runaway? Do you lock yourself in your room?
Finally my brother was called away something about his tutor having arrived. He hit the door one final time to scare me before marching out of the bathroom and down the hall. I hiccuped as I continued to sob. I just wanted to die… I couldn't take it..
It was torture… I fumbled around in the cupboard. I knew where I hid my razors. Unlike most people who cut across their wrists… I cut across my own boobs. So my breasts were littered with tiny scars. Still sobbing I find my razor just as the cupboard door was pulled open.
With the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears you screaming
I froze. Nobody ever caught me in the act of cutting myself. "Huh..? Why are you…?" The boy started as he saw me holding the blade close to my skin. In a flash he tore the razor from my hand even if it meant cutting his hand open to keep it away from me.
"What do you think your doing???" I look at this complete stranger. He stood slightly taller than me, skinny but strong legs bent at the knee as he was knelt down to look inside the cupboard I was hiding in, dressed in loose fitted pants tho barely. Wearing a red jacket and black t-shirt with a band cover on it, brown eyes filled with dismay and concern and a thick mop of two toned brown hair.
No you don't know what it's like, when nothing feels alright.
My mouth gaped open in confusion. Who was this boy to have the audacity to barge in on me. He didn't live here… he was a stranger.. who the hell was he… "G-get away from me…! Pervert!" He looked at me almost stupidly.
"I'm not a pervert! And what are you doing trying to cut yourself? And why are you crying??" His gaze roamed my wrist and looked almost relieved that there were no scars. Sadly he didn't know I had scars all over my chest. I looked away from him tears still filling my eyes. I hugged my knees close to myself.
No, you don't know what it's like when nothing feels alright, you don't know what it's like to be like me
"H-hey… I didn't mean to sound so harsh.. Can you come out?" The boy held an open palm out to me. I blinked my eyes slowly confused as my tears leaked out running down my face. He chuckled awkwardly as he pulled out a handkerchief and laid it on my knee. "Bet you can't see me too well, huh? You got tears all over your glasses."
I looked down at it. It was covered in a snow flake pattern. I took it gingerly in my fingers like it was made of glass, before pulling my glasses from my face to wipe away the tear marks that I had left on them from my crying.
To be hurt, to feel lost to be left out in the dark
I reached out to give it back to him as he shook his head. I put my glasses back on my face and look at him confused. He gave me a kind smile and winked. "You keep it. You never know when you'll need it again." I look at him almost dumbfounded my jaw slacked a little as once again he held his hand out to me.
I reached out hesitantly before my hand connected with his. I let out a small gasp at the callous but soft hand as he wrapped his fingers around my hand. He helped me climb out of the cupboard before helping me to my feet, my brown hair ruffled from having it pressed up against the towels. my lavender eyes look at him with confusion. "W…Who are you?" He never let go of my hand as he cracked a wide grin and jabbed a thumb towards himself. "Name's Yuki Judai!" his smile was blinding and warm.
To be kicked when your down to feel like you've been pushed around.
Before i could even response another person yelled from down the hall. "Yuki! Get your ass in here we got work to do!" Judai looked out the bathroom door and called back with an Okay as he started walking, not realizing he still had my hand in his as he tugged me along.
"E-eh?? Where are we going?" i acted surprised which wasnt far off from my normal reaction because i was still confused why this boy was in my house without me ever knowing. From his demeanor I could tell he has been here before, and that he knew his way around as he traversed the hallway.
To be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you.
"Im supposed to assist with tutoring… but I had to wash my hand first." He chuckled which made me look at me with slight confusion. He couldn't be much older than me so who would he be here for tutoring..? I didn't get to respond as he pulled me to an open door way where two other males inside the drawing room where my brother had text books sitting out and around the room nearly yanking his hair out.
"I don't get this garbage!" "It's easy when you actually know what your doing. You take this equation and divide it by pie." Another male siting next to my brother pointed into the book showing him the problem.
No you don't know what it's like…
I blink in awe. Judai or however his name was grinned and walked over to the boys. "Yo, i'm back." The black haired male looked annoyed as he leered before throwing a paper ball at the brunette. "Hurry up already, we got work to do." While the grouchy male ignored me the one wearing small glasses with light blue hair didn't.
"Aniki, where did you find her?" He pointed me out causing the two slight bickering to seize as they look at me. "Bathroom cupboard." I didn't say anything as I felt my brother shoots me a disgusted look as I look away ashamed.
Welcome to my life
The two toned male approached me again a smile on his face. "I didn't catch your name." My gaze went from the floor up to him my purple eyes looking through my glasses up at him. His smile was radiant and almost made me feel safe.
"Stella.. Stella Campbell." His smile only grew more as he pulled me down next to him at the study table. For once even tho my brother was leering at me, I felt more safe than at any point in my life.
One year later
I broke down in tears. My glasses discarded on my bed as I sobbed. It was official, my parents were divorcing. That wasn't the worse of it tho. Mom was dragging me off to Europe because of her fashion business. So apparently dad felt my brother was more worth staying here than I was… even tho I had several friends that they often see me chasing around in the yard or watching movies with.
This whole year, since the day the three of them were at my house to tutor my brother, I've been inseparable from Judai Chazz and Syrus. They made my days a lot brighter and more joyful. It was depressing to know that, we wouldn't get to finish middle school together nor start high school, let alone finish it.
I wiped my eyes. I knew I coukdn't avoid it any longer… if I tried mom would rip me out of the house with her bare hands. I tear up heavily sniffling. I made my way down stairs my last suit case in hand and an empty room behind me.
I walked down the stairs and end up in the arms of my father who held me tightly as I once again broke into a sob. "I don't wanna go father…" he pulled back wiped my tears and kissed my forehead. "I know sweetie… hopefully you'll be back some day…" he was in tears as well. I heard the rush of foot steps and panting breaths as I turn to see Judai Chazz and Syrus catching their breaths Syrus nearly on the ground panting while both Judai and Chazz were hunched over grasping their legs.
"T-told… told you we'd make it." Judai chirped in between harsh gasps of air. Chazz glared at him as he finally straightened his back out brushing his hands off on his jacket. "Your lucky I don't strangle you for that…"
I just look at them as they have a chat about how Chazz's driver could've just drove them with Judai denying it. My eyes start to fill with unshed tears. "Y-you came..?" My broken voice caught their attention as they all gathered around me and each hugged me in a different way with both Syrus and chazz hugging me on either side of me and Judai hugging me full frontal.
When they pulled away and my body stop shaking from all the tears I held back, I managed to look up at them. Chazz snagged my glasses from me to clean them off, before replacing them on my face.
I met brown eyes the minute my glasses covered my face. "Jud-chi?" I speak in confusion as within the time it took Chaz's to snag and replace my glasses on my face, Judai now held in his hands a guitar that looked all too familiar from when the much taller male would play for them during karaoke nights or just to see him play.
"Take it Stella." Judai smiled earnestly at me as he handed the guitar off to me my eyes still wide with surprise and slight confusion. It made no sense for Judai to give this to me. I look at the three of them my eyes still wandering with confusion.
The three of them both smiled in their own way. Judai, bright with full of spirit. Syrus, shy with slight nervousness, Chazz full of ego and smugness.
It made me wanna laugh to see these three full of spirit seeing me off with smiles when I know the minute I step into that car they would cry and show their true feelings. They had to see me of with a smile. They knew I would refuse to go, that I would run, and hide.
I tried to steel myself a struggle to put a smile on my face as I looked at them once more. "Take care of yourselves okay..?" I sniffle slightly as I grip the guitar in my hands. They walked me to the car where my brother, giving me dirty looks even as I'm about to leave stood by my father who was still shedding tears. I waved as I climbed into the car the door shutting as I rolled my window down to see them before the car pulled away.
"I'll come back! Someday!" I waved my arm out of the car as the tears I fought to hold back came out again as the car started up and proceed to drive away from the curb.
"See you Stella!!" The boys that I called my friends ran behind the car for a brief moment before waving at the back end of the car as we pulled out of sight and my friends disappeared around the corner.
With a tight hiccup I fold into the fetal position in the backseat of the car and let my tears and heavy sobs escape me.
One year later-
Mom told me we were heading back to Willow. My heart felt like it flew up to heaven. I was filled with glee on the inside. Sadly her expression was grim. I blink and push my joy to the side as I approached her. "What's wrong mom..?"
And she told me. My brother was dead. Bruce was killed and made a public display. Hearing this…. I felt no remorse. It was like if you told me the tooth fairy didn't exist. I was grown up to understand and I didn't feel bad about it. I didn't feel bad about him being dead. If anything, it made it easier to breathe. Life had its color back and I could feel a weight off my shoulders. And yet the pit inside of me, there was some lingering regret. Questions I wanted to ask him one day when we got older. Why did you hurt me so much? Why did you bully me so much? Leave bruises on me where mom and dad couldn't see.
Those wrapped around my head the entire flight back to Willow. But bit by bit slowly faded from my mind as I saw my father a year older than the last I saw him stand in the airport lobby his arms held open and a joyful grin on his face.
"Stellar…! You've gotten so beautiful.." Father praised as I ran to him dropping the carryons we had to hug him tightly. I smiled happily looking at him. "I'm home…" I held in my tears of missing him at bay just to smile in his graces. The last thing I wanted was to even think of crying let alone let my parents think I actually missed Bruce.
Seeing my father in over a year I've noticed how he's aged, and not for the better. Father won't admit it but Bruce being the wild one that he was caused problems for the family. I could see it on my father's face the way he aged. So much has changed and I wasn't even aware of how much has changed until I got to see my old friends again. It's only been a year since I've been gone and since they met me I wonder if they will remember me?
Father soon told me I was to sing a song at the memorial to honor my dear brother. I wasn't enthusiastic about it in the slightest. Looking through my phone at songs I remember and I recalled a movie that Judai was so estatic with. A musical called Dear Evan Hansen. It was something Judai adored he loved all the drama and feeling the musical had and I remember a song from the musical that Judai told me about.
"It's called Requiem." I looked at him confused by his words. "Requiem? Why do you think that song suits me?" He had sat down next to me with ear buds in his hands and his phone in his other. "Because Bruce treats you like trash the same way Connor treats his own sister like trash. It's poetic." He didn't say much else as I grabbed the ear bud from him and listened to the song with him my eyes widening at the words being sung and the tone of the music being played. Judai could only smile as he looked at me.
Finding that song again I put into practice with my guitar. "Let's see how this goes." I smile as I strum along the cords to the song. I felt the music flow through me. Tears pricked my eyes but not because of the flow of the music, the memories of being home again made me feel at ease and happy once more. Being in Europe for such a long time with no friends has been one of the worst things to ever happen. Just being dragged along with mother and her bullshit.
After finishing the song I layed the guitar out on the bed before reaching down into my bag and I smiled when I found the framed picture. It was of Syrus Chazz Judai and me laughing with our arms around each other's shoulders. My tears finally leaked out as I look down at the picture in my hands, warm memories swelling up in my mind and in my heart as I clutch the picture to my chest as I lay back in my bed. "I'll be seeing you guys soon…"