Crazy to think that this story almost has as many follows and favorites as Whipped, but then again it is Genshin after all. It's insanely relevant right now, especially with Fontaine's release. I'd be lying if I said I never had plans of making a fic of this fandom at some point. It was either going to be Kequing or Kokomi if not.
I'm a hydro main if you couldn't tell ;)
Ah yes, bit of a late notice but many thanks for the reviews you guys have given this story so far! Each one puts a wide smile on my face and encourages me to keep going. As for a few honorable mentions:
Antloveforlife: Thank you so much for your review! I'm kind of a grammar nazi by this point so I tend to go through everything with a fine-toothed comb; wish I could have the same eye for better pacing and such lol. Glad you're enjoying it!
ApolloBlackwood: You honor me, but I will readily admit my work needs much polish to be considered "good". I'll probably be going back and forth between your story and this for reference notes to Furina's character. I'm trying to explore her personality while making her open up to the Traveler more, and inevitably, develop feelings for him. But that's later down the line. I hope you'll write more for your headcanons and, lastly, thanks for reviewing this and getting back with the review from your own story!
There are others I want to mention, but for the sake of getting to the story, let's get on with the show!
Disclaimer: Genshin Impact and its characters belong to Mi-hoyo and Hoyoverse; I own nothing.
Clink! Clink! Clink
The pouch of Mora sailed into the sky, briefly eclipsing the sun before plummeting back down into the meaty callused hand, giving an audible clink sound. The thief chuckled to himself as he lounged on a chair, his feet kicked up on a stool while he watched his crew roughhousing nearby. Normally he'd be kicking their teeth in letting their guard down like this, but the most recent haul afforded them some leeway – literally in this case.
I almost feel bad for the poor rich sods, he remarked to himself with a nasty smirk. But it's their fault for wandering around with that much change on them.
It hadn't been long since his crew had set up shop here in the nation of hydro and were circumstances different, he might never have come to this glorified lakefront.
Originally he'd tried to set up in Mondstadt but that region was nearly picked clean, leaving nothing that could turn a profit. There were still options of course. In the past, other nations like Liyue, Inazuma or Sumeru would've been more profitable ventures for their operations but, he'd been too slow to act.
Liyue was under new, stricter management thanks to the Geo Archon kicking the bucket and cleanup operations from the Millileth had already rooted out several of their more successful cells. The region was chock full of Liyue's guard legion so much so that the only viable avenue of profit lay in the Chasm. The vast mine was sure to be worth the manpower even with the Millileth sticking their noses down there. But it wasn't just them and a few monsters; the freaks from the Abyss Order infested the place like maggots on a corpse; and even the Fatui and their own brand of nutcases had issues dealing with them!
Inazuma wasn't much better in retrospect. If the civil war had still been going on, even with the Sakoku Decree, there were ways to get through the raging monsoons that cut off the island nation. But recently both the Tri-commission and Sangonomiya's rebels had agreed to a cease fire, effectively ensuring that any other activities would come under further scrutiny, ergo, any unsanctioned operations would be quickly dismantled as a joint effort.
That left Sumeru as the last viable option, and it had been what he was leaning towards initially. The Akademiya wasn't much of a deterrent since Azar's circle of fogeys had been more than content to bury themselves in their books rather than properly govern their nation in absence of their archon. The Eremites were also passable business partners, so long as you gave their territory a wide berth, so it was the best place to set up shop for their line of work. Sumeru was vastly undiscovered thanks to its thick forests and the deserts could offer some of the most profitable finds on a good day. It would've been the perfect place to set up shop…
That is, until a certain blond twerp had, like in all the other nations, decided to stick his nose into their affairs and effectively reinstated its own archon. Now the Matra were all over the place!
That left only Natlan as an alternative, but the tales of the Mare Javari anywhere near there still made him shudder at the prospect.
Then there was Fontaine which held a vast number of underwater ruins, but that was the catch – underwater. Diving suits were not easy to get hold of and even if they did, none of them would know how they worked. What little that wasn't at the bottom of the sea was mostly empty, its ruins picked clean and barring that, filled with creatures that none of them had even heard of! However, there was one thing that Fontaine did have going for it in terms of profit, and that was the Meka.
The thief glanced over towards the main reason his crew could horse around like this, the intricate killing machine standing vigil just a few feet away. That thing had been quite the find. Not only had they found it abandoned near one of those waystations, but one of his boys had been a drop out at the Research Institute so he knew how they worked. A day's worth of tinkering and now the hunk of junk now served as their guard dog, so much so that the Fatui that were in the region had given them a wide berth. As for the profit, well, all they had to do was show up with this thing at their back and nobles traveling through the countryside would practically tear their clothes off trying to get away, leaving all their valuables behind.
Yep.
Clink! Clink! Clink!
Life was good, and he didn't even need a Vision to do it.
A whirring noise from nearby drew his attention, finding the Meka to be staring at a pair of approaching figures… one of them unmistakably of noble descent.
The thief grinned to himself, grasping his hammer.
I guess the gods must favor me.
There had been many, many things that had come to mind when he'd first heard Furina's suggestion of a "stroll". Given her rather high-class demeanor the Traveler had presumed that she'd merely drag him along on a brief walk through the city, probably to stop and admire the various shops along the upper ring.
But then Paimon had made mention of the Adventurer's Guild and things spiraled from there.
Now here they were just outside the city on a commission that Furina had basically snatched for herself. Poor Katherine had practically short-circuited once she laid eyes on the Hydro Archon herself, nevermind being ordered to hand over the commissions.
All the commissions… for every single guild member… for the rest of the week.
Said archon was practically skipping next to him humming some random tune, immensely pleased with herself, unaware of Aether's dark musings.
She is going to kill me, isn't she? Well, at least I'll be able to take out some of my frustrations as well.
Another day, another band of treasure hoarders though this one seemed to have gotten hold of a clockwork meka. Nothing he couldn't handle but he couldn't say the same for the girl next to him. Sure, she might be an archon but he had yet to witness any sort of power from her let alone possess a weapon of her own. Thus far she'd been nothing but talk and bluster with nothing but embarrassment to show for it.
The ways things stood, she might've been expecting him to protect her as her "chaperone".
"Eyes up Traveler, we have guests to receive," Furina stated, giggling to herself.
Aether held back a sigh, hoping that this day would go by quickly so he could be rid of the troublesome god.
"You lost, kids?" one of them sneered, starting to box them in with a few others.
"We can show ya the way back… for a price that is," another hissed, grinning deviously.
Aether slowly drew forth his blade, taking a stance all the while Furina did nothing, merely folding her arms across her chest. "Lady Furina, I'll take care-"
She merely held up a hand, nipping his words in the bud. "I have no desire to interact with the pawns. Fetch your leader me, chop chop!" the god commanded, giving off an imperious aura.
Aether wasn't the only one confused; the other treasure hoarders all exchanged lost looks until a gruff voice broke the din.
"Heh, gotta lot of nerve asking for me, lil missy. Good thing my boys here are gentlemen, ain't that right?" The voice belonged to a larger man with a scar across his eye, a sleazy smile firmly in place as he strode up. The clockwork meka had accompanied him, remaining at his back like a guardian angel ready to enact vengeance at a moment's notice.
"Yeah, we're gents alright," one of them remarked with a snort, sharing a chuckle with his fellows. "We're real gentle when it comes to pretty ladies~"
The blond felt an irrational spike of outrage at the thug's comments, feeling strangely defensive of his self-proclaimed charge. Granted she was proving to be a handful but had yet to do anything to personally wrong him in some way. Thus, until then, he'd stand up for her in the only way he knew how. All he needed was a reason.
But the god beside him had other intentions it seems.
"Is that so?"Furina said, giving the hooligans a side-eyed glance before turning back to the leader. "Then in the spirit of such, I expect you to honor my wishes and depart!"
Now the leader was the one who looked lost and Aether wasn't far behind him.
Is she seriously trying to negotiate with these thugs?!
"Oh? Did my words fall to the wayside? I expected you all to be of the intelligent sort but perhaps my expectations were too vast," Furina remarked, a haughty expression set firmly on her profile. "Perhaps I should speak in a manner you'd be able to comprehend? I believe the correct term would be: shoo shoo."
Aether just barely held back a snicker despite the dangerous situation they were in, only made that much harder by how lost the dumb thieves looked.
The leader on the other hand-
"I think you should realize what kinda predicament you've walked into, lil missy," he growled at her, hefting his hammer. "You can't just walk into our camp and make demands of us-!"
"Oh, my dear sir, that is where I believe you are quite mistaken," Furina replied, her eyes narrowing with a smirk. "For you see, I am wholly entitled to do so as this nation's ruler!"
Beside her, Aether cast his gaze earthward with a sigh.
Oh boy, here we go…
"The archon?!"
"It's her...?!"
"Wait, then is that the Traveler with her?"
Chaos ensued around them, the thieves going back and forth in a desperate frenzy, all the while the god soaked up the pandemonium like a sponge. The drama here must've been the effect she'd been aiming for, hence her boisterous declaration. Still, for the treasure hoarders not to recognize an archon wasn't anything new.
I've already lost count of how many times they tried to pick a fight with either Zhongli or Ei…
"QUIET YOU LOT!" The leader roared, silencing them instantly. Furina wasn't in the slightest bit cowed by the man's bark, only regarding him with a tiny, self-important little smile she seemed to fancy.
"As you can tell mister thief, my reputation has indeed spread far and wide so it would behoove you fall in line. Rest assured that your remarks, while derogatory in their delivery, shan't be punished outright if you-"
"You ain't the archon."
That brought Furina's diatribe to a screeching halt, followed by an expression of complete befuddlement slapping itself into place. The shift in tone was almost a relief to Aether… if they weren't in danger of being jumped by a whole crew of armed thugs, that is. "Pardon?!"
The leader crossed his arms, peering down at her as though she were merely an annoyance now instead of a potential target. "You heard me. The Hydro Archon is rumored to be the most beautiful of all the archons, completely unmatched in elegance and grace save for that of the cryo archon. You, brat, ain't her. You're just some obnoxious noble with far high of an opinion of herself."
The thugs around them slowly began to calm down and murmured to each other, finding some truth in their boss' words.
"Hey he's right. Isn't the Hydro Archon supposed to be this absolute bombshell? What's with this brat?"
"Yeah, yeah with long white hair too!"
"A body like an hourglass and great rack too!"
"Hah, right?! How could this brat be someone like that? She as flat as a washboard!"
Keep talking, just keep talking. Give me a reason to not hold back, you punks, Aether seethed. Getting this upset on Furina's behalf was strange, but he didn't care. Brat or not, that didn't give them any right to talk about her like this.
Speaking of said brat, Aether glanced over… and paled.
The god of hydro's face had since twisted into a snarl, her face burning bright red as her bangs shielded her eyes. "Brat am I…? A washboard, you think?" she muttered darkly before she paused, then shot a look at Aether. The Traveler, who had faced dragons, dangerous fugitives, the Abyss Order and even the electro archon herself, damn-near fainted at the sight of a sheer rage shining in Furina's eyes. "...Traveler. Would you take a seat over there for now?"
Eh?
"Lady Furina, are you sure-?"
"As this is my nation, it thus falls to me to educate the unenlightened masses as to my brilliance," the god assured, a sweet smile on her lips while her eyes promised untold agony if disobeyed. "Truly, I must thank Neuvillette for giving me this opportunity."
At the same moment elsewhere, a certain judge suddenly sneezed halfway through a statement to the court followed by a sudden chill down his spine.
The boss of the thugs guffawed. "Hahahaha! You really think you can take us all on, girlie? Sure you ain't afraid of breaking a nail or something?"
"In case you were unaware, let me remind you once more of who I truly am," Furina said calmly, gesturing a bit, causing a few streams of water to form before her. "Though my dear public knows me as the esteemed Lady Furina, I am known to the world by another title. I am Focalors, the Hydro Archon and, as it so happens, the God of Justice, and for your crimes against my person, I hereby declare you, all of you," she trailed off darkly, a splendid blade of Fontainian design being grasped in her hands as she added, venomously, "GUILTY…!"
What followed was a display of power that made even what Scaramouche was capable of back during their duel in Sumeru look like a chat over evening tea. Bodies went flying every which way and that, flung clear of the vicinity by Furina's fury. Shouts of pain filled the air punctuated by vile curses from the young archon that could heard from miles away, especially ones concerning her, ahem, lack of assets.
"I'M STILL GROWING YOU FOOLS!"
"LICK MY HEELS YOU CRETINS!"
"YOU SHALL ENTERTAIN MEEEEEEEEE….!"
For once, Aether felt genuinely sorry for the thieves that would sooner sell their own mothers for a profit. If they were lucky, the Gardes would be fishing them out of the water before they became fish food.
"…is it safe to come out yet?" Paimon whispered, poking her head out from her little special pocket.
"-GUITLY, GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY-!"
"UWAAAAH!" And... back in she went, and likely wouldn't be coming back out for a while.
With nothing else but to wait for the archon to wind down, Aether took a seat on a nearby stump and sighed.
"Well... a break is nice every now and then."
I wrote about three different versions of this chapter but had to scrap them since they just fell apart. It's a bit shorter, but I wanted to dive in to Furina's complexes a bit as well as show off how out of touch she is with the world. That'll come up in the next chapter. For now, enjoy our lovable brat losing all her chill :P