Chapter 7 – Moments Like These

Author's Note: In which Anakin fights Dooku and the mission comes to a close. ;)

~ Amina Gila

To the guest who reviewed: I absolutely agree! lol. That would be awesome. Sadly, Anakin's become far too accustomed to not talking about his emotions. Anakin doesn't know about Fives yet, but if he did, he definitely would do a deeper investigation. He will be having some... questions about the clones role, though, seeing as they're being treated as slaves.

~ Rivana Rita

They continue trading blows beneath the setting suns. Except the weight Anakin's carrying is slowing him down, more annoying than anything. He stumbles, slightly unsteady, and leaps back, clear of the Sith's next blow.

Anakin doesn't give Dooku a chance to react, instead throwing out his hands and lifting a whirlwind of sand from the ground, channeling it towards the Sith. It's blocked by a Force-shield, of course, and Anakin jumps clear when Dooku sends it back towards him. He's lucky there's really not much to throw here, because the Count is much too good with telekinesis. The area is open, and it gives Anakin the advantage out here. To a point.

Anakin leaps at him again, his lightsaber raised in what should be a killing blow. The one thought consuming his mind is to end this here and now, except Dooku spins around him last moment, easily avoiding the blow. The red blade slashes across his backpack. Anakin stumbles forwards but swings around, shoving the Sith's lightsaber away.

"You've failed, Jedi. I have just killed Jabba's son."

"You wish," Anakin hisses. He kicks Dooku back, throwing him down the side of the hill. Anakin reaches up, undoing one of the backpack straps and tossing it on the ground, letting the rocks spill out. It feels good to have it off. He knows Dooku probably didn't fall for it – he didn't last time – but it doesn't matter. It got him to come to Anakin instead of Ahsoka. She'd be dead otherwise. She may be good, but not even the Ahsoka he trained is good enough to hold off Dooku. "You're too late. The Huttlet's with my Padawan. Safely back at Jabba's palace." Unlikely, but he can hope.

The Count rises ever gracefully. "You'll note I didn't ask where she was." He speaks casually as though he's not talking about the only people Anakin knows fully trust him.

Anakin shifts back into his fighting stance, glaring, the Force swirling around him.

"I assure you, my forces are strong enough to catch your insignificant little Padawan."

Insignificant?! Anakin remembers how satisfying it was to crush the Sith's neck with his bare hands and is suddenly tempted to do it again. Oh, it would be so satisfying, even if it makes him feel sick that he could even feel that way. "She's more skilled than you think," he grits out. "She's strong enough to defeat whatever pathetic droids you sent after her." He lunges without a second thought, sprinting across the sandy slope, and their blades clash.

"A droid, perhaps." Dooku seems almost mildly amused, "But not an assassin."

Not a –? Ventress. Of course. Why didn't he realize it sooner? Anakin stills. How could he not have known she was here before? He was so focused on Dooku he didn't think to reach farther. Ahsoka isn't nearly good enough to fight her, not yet. Even if Ahsoka does get past her, with or without Rotta, Jabba will... He won't – ever – let that Hutt lay a hand on her. He should stay, stay and fight Dooku to the end, but he just got her back. He won't lose her, and he won't let Rex and his men die, whatever the cost. He won't let anyone hurt them.

He shoves Dooku away from himself without a second thought, turning and sprinting across the hilltop to the speeder. Dooku might have tried to give chase, but the engine is already firing up and the speeder turning, zipping across the desert. Should he have stayed and fought Dooku to the end? Yes. It's what any true Jedi would do. Maybe that's why they don't trust him. But Ahsoka is in danger, and nothing will stop him from helping her. He's not going to put her at risk simply to gain the Council's approval. Her safety is more important.

**w**

Ahsoka doesn't know exactly how far they are to the palace when she senses something. A presence, dark and cold, one swirling with rage. It's not the same darkness Dooku has – it's too uncontrolled. She comes to a stop, scanning the area. "Someone's waiting for us," she warns.

"The General warned us there might be droids here," Rex responds.

"No, it's something –" Ahsoka dives aside with a gasp as a ruby lightsaber slashes down at where she was a moment before. Ahsoka whips out her own blade and ignites it.

Ventress stands in front of them with a smirk, both lightsabers in her hands. She's outnumbered, but numbers don't always mean everything. It's something Ahsoka is rapidly coming to realize. This is a well-trained assassin, one who has defeated fully trained Jedi Knights. Ahsoka is just an Initiate; she has yet to be accepted as a Padawan. Jedi aren't supposed to be afraid, but she can't deny the prickle of unease that runs down her spine.

For a moment, no one moves. The clones – all of them – have their blasters raised towards the assassin. Ahsoka contemplates telling them to fire, only to remember that it'll more likely kill them than anything. Ventress doesn't give them time to figure out what to do. She lunges for Ahsoka again. Ventress slashes at her with both her lightsabers, first one, then the other. Ahsoka backs up, swinging her own to parry the repeated blows. She lets the Force guide her, seeing the assassin's moves before she makes them and letting herself react accordingly.

"Shoot her!" Ahsoka yells, jumping aside. The clones fire, but Ventress easy deflects the shots. A sudden Force-shove throws everyone to the ground. Ahsoka lands on her back with a groan. Rotta wails as he's crushed under the Togruta's weight. "What's wrong?" she asks, slowly pushing herself back up. "I thought you liked to play in the sand?"

The assassin is coming at her again with a shriek of rage. Ahsoka raises her lightsaber in a hurry, blocking the crossed blades. Something burns at the edge of her hearing, a whirring noise. She doesn't have time to contemplate it before the Sith pulls back and unleashes another flurry of attacks. Ahsoka backs up, hardly registering that she's standing at the very edge of the cliff before she's shoved off.

Rotta shrieks as they fall over the edge. Panic surges to the surface, past the point she can suppress, and Ahsoka flails for something to break her fall, something to stop her from crashing to the ground as hard as she will. She hits something, shattering her desperate attempt to call on the Force to shield herself. She rolls across a ledge lower down, small enough for her to have not even seen. The startled cry that escapes her only succeeds in getting her a mouthful of sand.

She tries to catch onto the edge before she falls over, only managing her hands to be met with more of the coarse substance already digging into her skin and lekku. Her attempts are futile, and she slips over the edge anyway. She hits the ground a good distance down, finally coming to a stop.

Distantly, she hopes the Huttlet is okay. She took quite a beating on the way down, or at least her body is aching and the parts that don't are stinging as the sand scratches against it. She coughs against the cloud slowly settling around her as if attempting to permeate every exposed inch of her body. She's still in the middle of pushing herself up when the Force hums in warning and she senses Ventress lunging at her again.

Ahsoka rolls to her feet in a flash, glancing around, only to realize she must have dropped her lightsaber somewhere during the fall. She has nothing to defend herself with. She can only duck beneath the first swing and jump back. Where's Master Skywalker? Where are everyone else? How is she supposed to fight Ventress like this? She contemplates running, but she has no way to get back up the slope, and –

A sudden whoosh of air crashes into them and the sound of a dying engine – someone just came. Ahsoka doesn't have time to contemplate farther before Master Skywalker jumps down, landing gracefully behind Ventress. "Surrender, and spare yourself the humiliation," he warns darkly.

She merely cackles a response and lunges again.

"Ahsoka, take Rotta and go," Master Skywalker calls over the sound of clashing lightsabers.

"But –" She can't leave him here.

"Go!" His tone brooks no refusal, and Ahsoka glances back at him fearfully before sprinting for the cliffside and scrambling up. With her Togruta agility, she's an expert climber, and she makes it to the top – studiously ignoring how much its scratching her hands – in a matter of minutes.

Rex is already in front of her when she reaches the top, crouching to help her over the edge.

"Thanks, Rexter," Ahsoka says, leaning on him a little as she catches her breath. She's very worn out from the past many hours and can't wait to rest, but they have to get back to the palace. Sand is sticking to her entire body – somehow managing to get under her clothes – and she longs for her room at the Temple where she can take time for a very long shower that hopefully won't scrub off all her skin in the process, because right now, she would certainly like to.

"Are you alright?" the captain inquires, and she can feel his concern shining in the Force. Not for her as his commander, she isn't that yet, but her as a person, a friend. Something inside her grows warm at the realization.

"I'll be fine," Ahsoka assures, "But we have to get Rotta back to the palace."

The sound of clashing lightsabers beneath her end with a crash, and Master Skywalker climbs over the edge a moment later. He drops an unconscious Ventress on the ground. She's already been put in restraints. "Come on, let's move before Dooku shows up," is all he says before taking off down the path again. He passes Ahsoka her lightsaber, not saying a word about her having dropped it, for which she is grateful. He must've picked it up while fighting the now-captured Ventress.

It's not long before they finally arrive at the palace, for which Ahsoka is grateful. She's more than ready to finish this, and is constantly on high alert, afraid something more may be awaiting their arrival.

The Knight tells the clones to stay outside guarding Ventress, who's in Force-restraints and very grumpy about it, when he and Ahsoka approach the door. A protocol droid comes out to greet them, and Ahsoka does not appreciate the number of people currently aiming blasters at them.

"Your weapons, please," the droid demands, holding out a hand. Master Skywalker passes his lightsaber to it after a moment of contemplation, nodding to Ahsoka. She reluctantly follows his lead, walking beside him as they're led into the main room. One thing she has to admit with certainty, it's that Master Skywalker wasn't wrong when he wanted her to wait until she sees Jabba to judge Rotta. He's huge and... gross. She doesn't know much about this place but scans the area for threats just to be sure while her hopefully master talks to Jabba in Huttese. She can't understand a word, not that it really matters.

Master Skywalker turns towards her and Ahsoka clumsily pulls Rotta out from where he was situated. "There you go, Stinky," she tells him cheerfully, knowing it's the last time she'll see the Huttlet. "Back to your daddy. I'll miss you."

Her hopefully-master isn't looking at her – he rarely does – but something in his expression seems to darken. She's a little surprised he's so willing to walk so close to Jabba and pass him is son. From how he was acting, she would've thought he wanted to stay as far from Hutts as possible. Rotta makes a sound that resembles a squeal. She can sense their happiness at being together again.

Except it doesn't last.

Tension fills the room again almost immediately as the conversation continues. Ahsoka doesn't know what's happening, but it seems that when everything feels like it's going to go out peacefully, more chaos erupts. Being a padawan is harder than she thought.

Suddenly, the Knight reaches out, and both lightsabers fly to his hands. He's shoving Ahsoka's lightsaber into her hands before she knows it and ignites his own, moving to face the guards who now have their blasters aimed. What's happening?! They brought Rotta back unharmed. Ahsoka ignites her lightsaber, holding it in front of herself defensively.

"Does this always happen to you?" she asks, more in the hope of lightening the situation than anything. She has no doubt that living beings are going to be harder to fight than droids.

"Everywhere I go," he replies. He says something else in Huttese. Ahsoka can't understand it, but she can feel the anger swirling around him like a dark, violent storm. Moments like these she has little doubt he could destroy everything that moves in this place and more, still coming out completely unscathed. No one in their right mind would challenge him. He is the Chosen One, after all.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees an orb flashing next to Jabba. It's an off-world communicator. A hologram flickers out in front of them, one of Senator Amidala, if Ahsoka is remembering correctly. She launches into an explanation almost immediately about how Jabba's uncle apparently was in on the conspiracy to kidnap Rotta. Ahsoka doesn't know much about Hutts, but it sounds like they have extreme loyalty towards each other, and no one is impressed with Ziro's actions. Good. She's not, either. Rotta should never have had to go through that. Ahsoka slowly clips her lightsaber back to her belt, having sensed the danger dissipate.

Once the Senator is done talking, Anakin moves forwards into the transmitter's view. He looks exhausted, but the tension in his presence dissipates, and he's shining like a brilliant star. She's tempted to poke at it but doesn't – the sheer power is just too much to be in such close proximity to. If he's going to be her master, she'll need a lot of getting used to.

His eyes are sparkling with... something, possibly relief? And he actually smiles for the first time, she notices sharply. The Force seems to sing with happiness. It's the first time she's felt anything like it. "Senator, you have my undying gratitude."

The Senator turns around, facing him. "No, Master Skywalker. It is I, and the Republic, who owes you thanks." She smiles, and Ahsoka instantly gets the feeling the two must be close. Friends, perhaps?

"Jabba would be most appreciative if you bring Dooku to justice," the protocol droid translates.

"You can count on it," Anakin promises, something fierce and determined in his gaze. The hologram flickers off, and he turns to leave, motioning for Ahsoka to follow. She couldn't be happier to comply.

**w**

Predictably, Obi-Wan arrives after they leave. The ride back up to the cruiser is spent in silence, for which Anakin is grateful. Now that the fighting is over, reality is crashing back down around him. He still needs to figure out what to do with Ahsoka. He needs to talk to Obi-Wan, a conversation he is not looking forwards to.

And so many people died. For a Hutt. And he let Dooku escape again. He failed. Yes, he had promised after Zygerria that he will never risk Ahsoka again to satisfy the Council, but that doesn't mean the knowledge isn't crushing him. So many people dead. He should have been able to save them. He couldn't. Not even when he tries his best. Why can't he ever, just once, be good enough to do anything useful?

He can only be glad that they succeeded in capturing Ventress, at least. She's just an acolyte, though. She's not really... important. It's not as though she'll talk. He didn't want to take the time to talk to her, figuring it'd be best to let Obi-Wan handle that part. Anakin doesn't have the patience – or time, really, because he needs to plan – to deal with her.

Walking through the halls of the Resolute only serve as a painful reminder of all the friends he's made and lost. For the briefest moment, he thinks of Fives. And Echo... he's still alive. As is the rest of Domino squad. They were two of his best friends, and now they're gone, too. It's something he always has to be prepared for with the clones, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

He slips into his quarters as fast as he can, locking himself inside. He thinks back to the battle again, trying to pinpoint for the millionth time where he could have done better. He should've gone back to help Rex from the start. And he should have defeated Dooku. He nearly did the last time they fought. Why couldn't he this time? How many people will die because he wasn't fast enough? He learns from each time, but somehow it never seems to be enough. He always keeps forgetting to look out for lightning. He's lucky he was fast enough on Tatooine to avoid it.

Anakin is still sitting alone in his cabin when Obi-Wan comes in and settles down next to him. He tries not to tense at the closeness and doesn't look up from the floor. He should be sleeping – he's exhausted – but he can't stop thinking about the war. And what he's supposed to do now. And all those memories he doesn't want to think about. And worrying about Ahsoka, because he has to tell her eventually, but he doesn't know how.

"Anakin." Obi-Wan's voice is slow, steady. Calm. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he answers automatically. Not really. Not at all, but it's not like he's going to say so. That would mean admitting far too many things.

"How did your fight with Dooku go?" Right. From Obi-Wan's point of view, Anakin lost his arm only over a month ago.

Images flash through his mind. Geonosis, Naboo, Zygerria. Pain unlike anything he'd felt before. Lying in front of Dooku even as a constant current of electricity runs through him, and the sickening smell of smoke pours off his clothes. Struggling not to cry out, because he won't let the Sith get the pleasure out of it – it happened too many times.

A shiver runs down Anakin's spine. "I could've won," he insists, voice almost inaudible. He nearly did before. But he ran, instead of staying to fight to the death. And he almost succeeded during... Hardeen, didn't he?

"You couldn't have been expected to take on Dooku alone." It's the closest thing to consolation he's ever been given, but it doesn't have the effect it used to anymore. The war changed him. Made him realize he needs to be more and to do better, made him find a new potential. And when he finally was forced to accept that he was different, and no matter where he goes or what he did, he can't be rid of that part of himself. The Ones are still alive. Maybe he could try going there, asking the Father for help? He banishes the thought as quickly as it comes. He never wants to set foot on Mortis again. It holds too many memories.

"I should have." Anakin can't bring himself to look up. He did what no other Jedi should have, but he couldn't let Ahsoka be killed. Not again.

"What did you see on Christophsis?" It's too straight forwards.

It would be so simple to answer. To say the truth. He wants to. Anything to not feel so alone. But he can't. The words won't come out. How can he say 'oh, I time-travelled back two and a half years!' and expect anyone to believe him? How could he – how could he talk about it? They're going to want details and he can't... His mind scrambles for some sort of explanation and draws up blanks.

Anakin flinches when a hand touches his shoulder. A feeling that used to give him comfort, reassurance. Now one he can't be sure won't hurt him. Another reminder of how much he's lost. He wants his master back, the one he could be certain would never hurt him, regardless of what the Jedi would say or want.

"I saw you die." It wasn't what he expected to say. Not what he meant to say. Not something he ever wanted to say or talk about again. His eyes burn as the image of Obi-Wan's fallen body flickers through is mind. He's never been fast enough. Not with his mother. Not with Ahsoka, twice. Not with Obi-Wan.

He shouldn't tell him this. Obi-Wan hurt him, irreparably in a way no one else has – until Ahsoka left, but even that was different; she had no choice. Obi-Wan did. And – and he didn't choose Anakin. He never has. No one has.

There's something slightly sympathetic in his expression. "It was just a dream, Anakin; that doesn't mean it'll happen." He has no idea.

It doesn't help. It doesn't change that he saw it, he felt Obi-Wan die. It doesn't change that the moment haunted him for months and months and still did, even after Ahsoka left, and he knows it will for the rest of his life. It doesn't help the knowledge that Obi-Wan put him through all that pain because it was what the Council wanted. Anakin never meant anything to him, did he? Obi-Wan never wanted him. He never will, you know, a voice whispers in the back of his mind.

He can't talk about this anymore. The pain is too great, so he turns back to the task at hand.

He gathers up whatever is left of his shaky resolve. "I can't train Ahsoka," he mumbles finally, ignoring the tremble in his voice and desperately hoping Obi-Wan will do the same. Best to get the words out while he can. "Not alone." It hurts to deny them both the moments of happiness he's seen, but maybe it's for the best. Ahsoka was... selfish, for as much as he doesn't want to admit it or remember her that way. She always put herself above others. That's why she left. She doesn't need him.

And now, he has to make the choice for what he knows will be best for her. She can learn the control she needs to from Obi-Wan, even if he'd very much rather not risk turning his little sister into an emotionless robot. Anakin's only fear is that she'll never care for him, not the same way she used to.

The child you raised is gone, you know. Nothing you can do will change that.

He doesn't need the reminder.

Anakin hesitates another moment before continuing. "She's not going to be easy to train. Maybe... we can take her together." He lifts his head finally, meeting his former master's gaze, silently pleading for agreement and approval. The Force hums its agreement, but that means nothing. It never has. Sometimes it seems as though the Force is his only ally.

It let you die.

Which is worth it if he can change the future.

"What do you believe you can't teach her?" It's not a yes, but it's not a no, either.

"She's... short-tempered," Anakin tries slowly. "She's reckless. A bit impulsive. I don't know how you expect me to help her with those tendencies."

"You know how they work," he replies with an almost mischievous smile, and Anakin nearly groans.

"You set this up, didn't you?" He looks away, scrubbing a hand across his face. "Master, I –" Force, it hurts to say this, because he'd much rather fall on his own lightsaber than say there's something he can't do. "I can't teach her everything she needs to know." He won't hand her over to Obi-Wan, though, not entirely. He just... can't.

"Very well," Obi-Wan agrees at last. "Did you see Ahsoka in your dream?"

The question catches him off guard. What could it hurt? "I... yes." Anakin turns away, staring at the far wall. "Enough to know I can never train a Padawan right."

Obi-Wan puts a hand on his shoulder again. Anakin knows he probably shouldn't – it'll only hurt worse later – but he scoots over so he's slightly leaning against him. "We can tell Ahsoka when we get back to Coruscant," Anakin murmurs. He's exhausted. Sleeping is never a good idea anymore – he only does it because he has to, and he usually regrets it later – but now, he feels safe. The comfort, the feeling of family... it won't last. It never does. But in moments like these, Anakin is contented to pretend it will.

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