Chapter 18 – Searching

Author's Note: I know Sidious might seem kind of stupid in here, but let's be honest. He's the one who thought Luke would join him after Sidious murdered all his friends in front of him. Plus, there's a lot more to his plans than he's revealing right now. Also, there may be some quadruple crossing going on... *evil laughter*

~Rivana Rita

Rex hasn't known the Commander for long, and he wouldn't go so far as to say what they've formed is a friendship, but she's his superior, and the General trusts her. That's what matters most.

Currently, they're sitting together in Rex's quarters, watching a recording that General Skywalker had... apparently made for them. General Kenobi had found it first and shown the padawan. She opted to take Rex's to him directly. "It doesn't guarantee anything," she had said. "But it made me feel better. It seems important, and I don't understand it. Maybe you'll have a better idea?" He appreciates the sentiment. While Ahsoka doesn't see herself as above the boys, she's still apart from them. She isn't one of them. Jedi and clones were raised differently, and it limits their understanding of one another.

General Skywalker was never like that. He always... understood.

There is nothing Rex wouldn't do, no lengths he wouldn't go to, if it meant bringing his General back.

There has always been something about the General that draws attention to him. Rex has never understood it. He never much needed to. It was simply another thing that made Anakin Skywalker Anakin Skywalker. Rex knows better than to question these things.

And here he is, even if only in a holorecording, still somehow radiating the same power and importance he always does. He looks tired and worn, which Rex has seen so many times, and the worry that twists inside him never stops.

Something was cut out in the middle – something Rex highly suspects was to General Kenobi, probably something private. Ahsoka is right about it being confusing. The 'I don't know who I can trust anymore' hurts in some inexplicable way.

There's a shift there, and something in his General's expression morphs from vulnerable to adoring – that's the way he looked at Ahsoka. At his padawan. Rex almost feels as though he's intruding on something private, but the 'while I mostly remember you from before – a life you'll never remember' is what really throws him. Ahsoka is right. Something isn't adding up here.

And then he thinks of his nightmares, of seeing the General falling from the edge of a cliff and a strange, swirling vortex that always follows, and he wonders.

It sounds outrageous, but there's hardly been anything since the Clone Wars started that isn't. One of his most trusted men betrayed him, and that was outrageous if anything was.

"Like before," Anakin says, another reference to a life they never lived, and then Rex knows.

And it makes so much sense. Since Christophsis, something changed. The General seemed... more skilled. Faster. Swifter. His strategies have always been brilliant, but Rex saw the difference.

"And Rex – you have always stood by me when I needed someone, and I thank you for that. I wish there was a way I could repay you. You're a friend and I – thank you. For everything. From start to finish – it was you who had faith in me when no one else did."

It means a lot to hear. It's... inappropriate for them to outright call one another friends because of their positions, but it's ultimately what they are. If they can truly be called that. They don't discuss their deepest emotional struggles, but ultimately, they share a bond deeper than words can describe. They fight with each other, covering for each other and saving each other. There is no trust deeper than that. His brothers' lives are in their General's hands, and Rex has seen time and again how much he values that.

Rex often finds himself wishing he could relieve that burden. It's not easy for him, either.

And knowing how deeply General Skywalker trusts him is... he knew, but hearing the words warms something in his heart.

"I don't understand," Ahsoka says, breaking Rex out of his thoughts. The recording stops there, and Rex knows there's more, but they've only been shown a small part of it. "What is he talking about? Why does he keep saying 'from before'?"

"I have a theory," Rex replies, knowing how foolish it sounds. "He may have seen the future, or in more blunt wording, time-traveled."

"Time-travel? That's impossible! It's against the flow of time and the Force."

"If there's one thing I've learned, kid, it's that with the General, there is no 'impossible'."

She smiles, though it's fleeting. Pained. "He fought Grievous and Dooku at once."

Rex had heard something about that, though he's not surprised – the General has always managed seemingly impossible feats. He wants to talk to the General about this. It's... touching to hear how their relationship developed, no matter how there will always be formality first. "I imagine this will not be information he wanted everyone to know," Rex points out, just in case. Ahsoka is a child, and he remembers being that age with clarity. He's experienced the urge to talk about things new and interesting. There must be a reason General Skywalker never told everyone himself.

"I won't tell anyone," she agrees unhappily. "I'm gonna go see if Master Kenobi has found him yet."

Rex knows without a doubt he hasn't, but he doesn't find it in himself to point that out. There's no need to ruin her excitement.

**w**

Anakin is... missing in action. Technically. He was reported missing, likely captured. Padme knew the stress they would encounter in their relationship when she married, but she wasn't ready. Her husband is out there fighting a war, and while she has perfect faith in his abilities to protect himself, it's never stopped her from worrying.

But this is different. He's never been captured before, assuming that's what happens. The Council is searching for him.

He has information, vital information that could turn the war in favor of the Republic and end this. If that were to fall into the wrong hands...

And this is Ani, her husband, the man she will spend the rest of her life with. He's her husband, her future. She wants to settle down and have a family, for all that it's impossible right now. He gives her focus and strength to continue on fighting in the Senate.

He can't simply be gone. It's reminding her too much of her dreams, of how he just... died.

Except he's still alive, only in enemy hands, and the goddesses know what they're doing to him. She remembers Sache with clarity, how long it had taken the girl to recover from the after effects of what happened. The mental scars took far longer to fade.

Most of all, she loathes that there is nothing she can do for him. Anakin is out there, and Padme has no way of locating him, or trying to speed up the process. All she can do is continue pushing for a non-violent solution to the war.

Which will do nothing to help her husband right now.

Continuing on at the Senate when she's so distracted is hard. Judging by the sympathetic looks Dorme is giving her, she knows what the problem is, but it's not something they speak of.

Worrying about him won't help find him, but that knowledge doesn't make it much simpler to force her concerns to the back of her mind and focus on the Senate. He has always come back, and she can't imagine a life without him. Not anymore.

That doesn't mean the 'what if's' don't stop replaying in her mind in a never-ending loop.

**w**

Briefly, Anakin wishes he had stayed to kill Dooku instead of going to rescue Ahsoka. Then he wouldn't be in this mess. He can't trust himself to make the right choice, but he knows without a doubt that even if it borders on treason, it's what Obi-Wan and Padme would have wanted him to do. They would do anything for the Jedi and the Republic. They'd want the same from him.

So even if it feels as though the betrayal is crushing him, smothering him, he can't deny a chance at ending the war. How could he?

Maybe he's not thinking clearly, because he's exhausted, and his head is pounding so much right now that moving the slightest amount makes it hurt worse, or maybe that's also his imagination. His side is throbbing still, even if it's healing. He's been half-asleep for hours. He's not safe here, but at least he can sleep now instead of... when he can be doing something constructive.

Anakin almost jumps when his cell door slides open and Dooku enters again. He doesn't have the energy to get up and talk right now, but he shoves himself upright with whatever strength he has left, ignoring how the world feels like it's twisting and turning dangerously sideways. "What?" he manages, though he probably sounds more worn out than annoyed or demanding or... anything.

His arm is hurting too, just a friendly reminder of what Dooku did to him.

"Have you reached a decision?" The way he's standing is with an air of superiority, and maybe it's not intentional, but to Anakin, it feels like it is. It's a reminder of his place and where he's always been – below everyone.

"How do I know this isn't a trick?" Anakin asks, eyes narrowed. There are countless ways Dooku could spin this if he tried. If it's a ploy to prevent Anakin from interfering with his plans... well, it could work. "How do I know you're not planning to betray me?" He's proud of how it came out straight, without breaking or dipping, even if the noise makes his head hurt worse and all he wants to do is curl up in a miserable ball.

"In truth, you have no reassurance."

"I can think of many reasons you would want me to do this," Anakin replies, trying to draw himself together. "I presume if I refuse, you will treat me as all other prisoners of war." There's a poorly veiled note of sarcasm there, and he knows the Sith notices though he doesn't respond. "And if I accept, what will you do?"

"You will be returned to the Republic," he replies, smugly. "There is much use you can have for us otherwise."

Anakin doesn't wince even if he wants to. The threat isn't concealed, either. It's not as though he hasn't had worse, though. "You will give me what I need so we can take down Sidious," Anakin replies. "Nothing more."

He can only hope he didn't just seal his own doom, but he's not really working with Dooku. It's... more like against him. They'll double-cross each other as soon as they find the chance, and Anakin can only hope he'll be able to do it right.

Somehow, he almost thinks refusing and dealing with the fallout would be simpler. (The throbbing in his head sorely disagrees.)

**w**

"Has he accepted the offer?" Sidious hisses.

"Indeed," his apprentice confirms. "Without much reluctance."

"Good. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen." It is risky, but he has foreseen its usefulness. It will lead them to victory. He foresaw it in a vision. Lord Tyrannus told Anakin of the truth. Sidious knows that the boy would be too emotionally compromised to rely on anyone, which is precisely what they need. And from there, he saw Skywalker embracing the Dark Side in a moment of pure desperation before becoming the most powerful Sith Lord the galaxy has known.

It will take time and cunning, and Skywalker will be his. He was always meant to be. It's unavoidable.

Something may have changed, but it is only what Sidious will use to his advantage. Separating the boy from his so-called friends will inevitably lead him to embracing the Dark Side.

**w**

They can't find him, and Obi-Wan has no idea what to do. They need to get Anakin back. He knows what the Republic needs, and Obi-Wan is on the verge of telling the Council to ensure they understand the importance.

But in truth, that's not the only reason. He's only dreamt of... Anakin's death once, and it's constantly replaying in his mind. He had feared, feared so much when he was young, seeing Anakin die the same way Qui-Gon did. He will never forget how it had felt to hold his master, feeling his body grow limp and then cold in his arms. Anakin isn't dead now, though, but that doesn't lessen the crushing, strangling, mind-numbing fear. He had told Anakin to get Master Plo, thinking that there was no reason for it to fail if it didn't last time, but he was wrong. Anakin was supposed to stay with his fleet. Obi-Wan should never have allowed him to do otherwise – and while the Malevolence is gone, it may have cost the Republic something far, far more important.

It may have made him lose Anakin.

Every time he reaches into the Force, all he can feel is Anakin – the brilliant, raging fire that he is in the Force, the way it dances around him with his stormy array of emotions. He's more brilliant than a star. He is always there, and Obi-Wan can still feel him, lightyears way. He's still alive, his presence burning in the Force, burning everything. Burning of pain and loss and grief.

They shaped and formed and molded each other, and it was always Anakin who made him get back up and keep moving, even when he didn't want to, right after Qui-Gon died. He can't even say how it happened, but in the end, it had reached a point – one too undeniable for Obi-Wan to hide from, or maybe it's only the way the images burn in the back of his mind, the feeling of the galaxy's most brilliant star blinking out, what might have well been the loss of all that is Light.

Because if that wasn't what Anakin was, nothing is.

And Anakin, that brilliant sun he is, is gone, lost. (Mine, a traitorous part of his mind whispers. Mine. He belongs here with me – there is no other place for either of us, no place that we belong save at one another's side.)

Obi-Wan cannot imagine a life without Anakin, and he will stop at nothing to get him back. Tricky, because no one knows where the Malevolence was headed. The ship Anakin was taken off-board on must have been shielded and lost amidst the chaos. Somehow, they must find him, and no one knows where to start looking. Anakin has always been far better at tracking people.

"We must find him," Obi-Wan declares adamantly. He won't have anyone tell him otherwise.

"Agree, I do," Yoda replies, "But speaking from practicality, you are not."

"We don't know where to look," Windu points out, "And we must focus on locating Dooku and Grievous. Skywalker is not our priority."

He can't help the flare of not-quite-anger he feels. "With all due respect, Masters, is he not the Chosen One? Is he not to bring balance to the Force? How can we destroy the Sith without him?"

Masters Yoda and Windu exchange glances.

"Your attachment to him may be clouding your judgement," Master Mundi has the audacity to say. Sometimes, he thinks the master tries to give Obi-Wan a headache every time he starts speaking before reminding himself that Jedi have no reason for petty disagreements. "He is indeed a useful asset, but we cannot sacrifice the war effort in an attempt to find him."

Anakin is more than an asset, and Obi-Wan tries his best to let go of his anger. There is more to it than what it seems, and he can't fault the Council for not knowing. Anakin should have told them. Obi-Wan will ask him to do so as soon as he returns. This information is important, and Anakin should understand that by now.

Anakin knows better than this, and quite simply, Obi-Wan has no idea why he hasn't talked to the Council a long time ago.

It's been a week already, since Anakin disappeared, and Obi-Wan has no idea what's been happening to him. He doesn't know if he's still... there. Anakin hasn't tried to reach him through the Force or anything. Why hasn't he?

"We have little guarantee he's alive," Master Shaak Ti points out.

"He is!" Obi-Wan practically snaps. "I've felt it. I can still feel him."

"Alive he is," Master Yoda replies. "Sense, I do, that an important role left to play, he has."

He loathes this because Anakin is not expendable. He's important, and Qui-Gon believed in him. Obi-Wan does, too. Everything in his life has been all about Anakin, but... his attachment to Anakin is what keeps him from being the Jedi he should be. It does blind him, sometimes, but not right now. They need Anakin.

As if on cue, the Council gets an unexpected transmission.

From Count Dooku, no less.

"Greetings," he says in the same voice Obi-Wan remembers – this is the man who cut of Anakin's arm – for all that it wouldn't have happened if he weren't so reckless and had listened to Obi-Wan, who nearly killed them both on Geonosis. This is the man who started the Clone Wars. "I imagine it has come to your attention that Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker has been lost in the battle at Abregado. He is still alive and is a prisoner of war." He pauses briefly for dramatic effect before continuing, "I may be persuaded to return him to you in exchange for my apprentice, Asajj Ventress."

Obi-Wan knew that Anakin was captured by the Separatists – why else would he not have returned? – but it doesn't make him feel better to hear from Dooku himself. The Separatists are brutal.

"I trust you will make the right choice."

The hologram fizzles out without waiting for a response.

There's a heartbeat of silence, then Master Windu looks to Master Yoda again. "Consider this carefully, we must," the Grandmaster states.

"Ventress has information that could be vital to the Republic," Windu declares.

"As does Anakin," Obi-Wan points out.

"It is a question of whether the threat Ventress poses is more dangerous than the benefit Skywalker gives us," Master Plo asserts.

"We must get him back," Obi-Wan states. And he will fight with whatever it takes for it. Anakin is... he's hope for a better future. He is the Chosen One. "No matter what the cost."

The Council exchanges glances again.

"Ventress will likely give us no more information than she already has," Master Gallia interjects. "It is simply a question of whether she's a greater threat than Skywalker is asset. Let us not forget the blow it could be for the Republic for his knowledge to fall into the Sith's hands."

Slowly, a ripple of agreement runs through the room.

Obi-Wan barely stops himself form breathing an audible sigh of relief. They need Anakin, and one of them will have to explain to the Council how much. Waiting will only put him more at risk, and clearly, this isn't something he can handle alone, or he wouldn't have been captured in the first place.

Even if it's not his place to give Anakin direct orders anymore, at least not the way he did when Anakin was still his padawan.

**w**

Eating is hard. Ridiculously hard, which is normal when he's in so much pain. He has nothing to think about or do, and it's grating on him. There's only so much meditating he can do, though it seems to – somewhat – help. It dims the pain in his side and arm and everything. He misses seeing light and he wants to touch someone. It's probably only been about a week, but it feels like longer, though he could be wrong for all that he's been unconscious.

Anakin is just pulling out of meditation when Dooku enters his cell, again. This time, there's a droid with him.

"You are being returned to the Republic," the Sith informs him. "I trust you will remain true to our deal."

"I don't break my word," Anakin replies levelly. There must be some sort of... something, because Dooku wouldn't freely turn him over. Anakin can only hope the price isn't too great. The med-droid approaches him, and Anakin eyes it warily. "What's that for?"

"Did you truly believe I would give you another chance to attempt escape?" he asks.

Anakin stands, slightly unsteady – he truthfully feels a little better now than he has in a while. Resting is difficult now. "It doesn't help being here in enemy territory.

"It will sedate you," he replies, "Nothing more."

Anakin has his doubts, but he knows when he can and can't fight. He knows when, where, and how to pick his battles. So, very reluctantly, he lets the droid approach him. He knows this could be a trick, but it's not as if taking him elsewhere would make this worse. (Unless they're taking him to... okay. Well, it could get worse. A little worse.)

But it's not as though Anakin is much affected by drugs, anyway. Dooku doesn't know that, though.

This is probably a very, very bad idea, but how could he screw this up any more than he did Ahsoka?

At least she's safe now.

And she will stay safe if he can do this and find a way to stop the Sith. Both. And knowing that, he tries his best not to fight back against the drugs when they start doing their work even though he really wants to – it's just one step closer to the end.

Everything after that is faded out, distant, distorted voices and images.

Consciousness fades in as slowly as always, first with registering the way the Force is flowing and the presences nearby. Ahsoka is right next to him. Something is touching him, and while his first instinct is to brace himself for... something, it feels safe. He could never not recognize her presence and her touch, that of the child he raised himself. He feels the pressure on his right arm, but he senses her contact through the Force.

An even stronger presence vibrates next to her – Obi-Wan. That is... unusual. During the war, his master rarely had time to spare being here with him during times like this. Anakin forced back the surge of bitterness that follows the realization Obi-Wan is only here because he wants to know the information Anakin found – if anything. It shouldn't matter, because, of course, that's why he's here – he's a Jedi.

And while he feels better than he did several days ago, he's still slightly sore and most of all, his head is throbbing. This is probably what he hates most about being electrocuted. It's also one of the reasons Anakin did not want to wake up, but he knew it'd happen eventually. And he has no idea how Dooku managed to keep him out for so long unless he knew that Anakin is... affected differently by drugs. It takes twice as much to knock him out. It's not something most people have really tried, and it only works when he's already thoroughly worn out.

"Hey," Ahsoka says cheerfully when he opens his eyes – the lights in the medbay are as glaringly white as they always are. Why do people do that?

"Ahsoka," he replies, blinking a few times. He doesn't feel fully awake yet, which is aggravating but expected. He's never the prefect picture of health after Dooku captures him. "Thank you for coming."

"That was all Master Obi-Wan," she replies. She's trying to be cheerful, and she is happy to have him back, but she's also... angry. Scared. Anakin can sense it, even if she's doing a remarkable job hiding it for the moment. "He's right here, so thank him yourself."

That's what doesn't quite make sense – why Obi-Wan would come all the way here instead of waiting until Anakin is out of here and actually ready to talk? And why would Ahsoka be here? Anakin knows before they would always be right beside each other – and Rex would usually be here, too, and Artoo, but this Ahsoka hardly knows him. They hadn't yet established it... right? It's confusing, but not unwelcome. He knew how close they could've gotten, but Ahsoka hardly knows him. Why would she be so worried about him?

He looks up, past his padawan. Obi-Wan is there, not quite as close, but he's here. And, unlike Ahsoka, he doesn't look terribly happy about anything. Anakin internally winces. "Master," he greets him carefully, testing the waters. It's best to see if he's up to talking first.

"I warned you that was a foolish idea."

"You didn't offer a better one." It's an automatic response, but Anakin knows he should've said something else. Anything else – it'll only make Obi-Wan angry.

"That is a poor excuse, Anakin."

"It worked last time," Anakin answers, looking away. "I should have known what he would do. I'm sorry."

Obi-Wan sighs, moving closer. "We will discuss that later. How are you?"

"I'll be fine," Anakin answers automatically. "I always am."

"You could have died!" Ahsoka snaps, crossing her arms. She's flipped out of her relief disturbingly quickly. "And that would have been my fault for letting you do something so stupid!"

"I'd have done it even if you hadn't," Anakin reminds. He pushes himself up, wincing when it pulls at the wound in his side – it's still not healed yet. Obi-Wan moves forwards to steady him, his hands firm and warm on his shoulders.

"Careful," he cautions. "You are still injured."

"It's minor," Anakin waves him off. "I've had far worse, Master."

"And," Ahsoka adds seriously, "You're an idiot."

Only Ahsoka Tano could look her master dead in the eye and say 'you're an idiot'. A sudden surge of warmth spreads through his chest and he leans forwards, not caring that Obi-Wan is watching, pulling her into a hug. She lets out a startled squeak before wrapping her arms around him. She's tiny but it feels so strangely right. Ahsoka's lekku is pressed against his face. "I am grateful you were not with me," Anakin says. "You may not have made it out."

He senses Ahsoka's surprise and confusion but she's... happy. She feels at home here. Anakin wants to linger, to hold her like this forever, but they're technically not supposed to. He pulls back, hands resting on her shoulders for another moment. They need to talk about everything later as soon as they have time alone.

Obi-Wan is watching, but he doesn't say anything for which Anakin is grateful.

"How did you find me?" he asks.

"Actually," Obi-Wan replies, "We didn't find you. Dooku offered a prisoner exchange, and the Council accepted."

To say his stomach plummets to the bottom of his boots – actually he's not wearing them right now so the point is moot – would be an understatement. "What?"

"Ventress."

No. Nononono! Ventress's capture is the first real change he's made, and Anakin wonders with a sudden surge of panic, maybe he's not meant to change anything after all. Maybe he'll fail even if he tries. Maybe it was meant to be this way.

"Why?" he blurts out, unable to stop himself. "You know how important and dangerous she is! You already have everything you need from me."

Obi-Wan straightens, his expression hardening. His presence stills to ice, and Anakin's heart skips a beat; he barely restrains himself from pulling back. "You should trust the Council, young one," he retorts – he's not hiding his anger now more than he ever does. "As you should have told them the truth from the beginning. We could have avoided all of this."

"I'm not your padawan anymore," is the first (very, very unhelpful) statement Anakin's mind can concoct. He almost wishes he was. At least back then it was simpler, even if he hated so much of it, and everything always hurt, and it felt like there was no way out of how his duties were smothering him. He had wanted nothing more to be out, and so did Padme – that's why they married, because they were both so, so tired of living the life they were. At least they had a future to look forwards it.

"No," Obi-Wan says, though he looks no happier, "But that gives you no excuse. There was no reason for you to keep quiet, and whatever it is, you need to let it go."

"I can't," Anakin snaps back. He wishes, more than anything, that there was someone he could speak to about this. He would normally go to Palpatine, but that's... oh, Force. There is, quite literally, no one. "If you saw what – if I told you what happened – you know why."

Except he doesn't. Because Anakin hadn't been able to go into details of how Ahsoka left the Order. He stated it, very briefly and mostly focused on the fact that Barriss did it and tried to frame Ahsoka for it. He never said she was thrown out of the Order, because he couldn't bring himself to do so.

And even if he did, would it matter? It's not as if Obi-Wan would understand. He never does. No one does. In truth, if not for Palpatine, Anakin doesn't think he could have survived being Obi-Wan's Padawan for so long.

Palpatine, who might be a Sith.

"You should have known better." Obi-Wan crosses his arms. "I know I taught you better."

"Please leave," Anakin snaps back. He wants to cry, and that's probably the five-hundredth time Obi-Wan made him feel that way. He can't handle this right now. "I promise I'll think about it, but not – not –"

Not now.

He can only thank the Force that his master doesn't refuse.

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