Chapter 30 – Downward

Author's Note: Everyone deals with the aftermath and fallouts. :)

Next chapter will be on October 19th.

~ Amina Gila

To say the Senate is in chaos is an understatement, Padme decides. She should have suspected something like this would happen. Why didn't she? Anakin was involved, and of course, he did something incredibly chaotic that led to this. It will be good in the long run, because Sidious has been outed, but Padme has no idea what it'll take to settle down at this rate.

In short, everything is in sheer mayhem. Mayhem, she thinks, is actually an understatement. Many people claim the information was forged. Just as many are claiming it's proof that the Jedi are helping Dooku, which she has to admit, it could somewhat imply. That's the worst part.

The only thing that is quite obvious, is that Palpatine was involved in some very nefarious things, though exactly what is not entirely clear.

She doesn't think the Jedi expected this kind of response when they released the information. Padme never would've, either. If she didn't know better, she'd think someone else was instigating it, but that shouldn't be possible. Right? There's been at least a hundred systems that've already left the Republic in favor of the Separatists, claiming that this is clear proof the Separatists are in the right.

Frankly, she doesn't know what to think about it herself. Why didn't Anakin talk to her about this? She'll admit to having questions about the realness of the information. She corners Obi-Wan in the Senate building the moment she sees him to ask, just in case. "Is it real?" she demands, unable to help if her voice is a little too sharp.

"Yes, it is," he confirms, "I assure you, I was as surprised as you were. No one was anticipating this reaction."

"Now that we have it, what are we doing?" she throws back.

The Chancellor's leave time is already past what it should be. No one knows what happened to him, or if he's returning.

"We can hope someone more trustworthy is put in power," he replies dryly, "But considering the level of corruption there, I find it unlikely."

"We must believe it possible," she answers, silently begging the Goddesses that it be true. There must be hope left for the Republic, even amidst this chaos.

"Yes, we must," he agrees.

They get no farther than that when Padme gets a message announcing an emergency Senate meeting – because apparently, Dooku is finally resurfacing and is telling the galaxy his own twisted version of events.

Padme truly has no idea what parts are and aren't lies, but she suspects most of it is. Because Anakin was working on his own to end the war because the Council was clearly incapable. Frankly? She thinks he's just doing this to paint himself out as some perfect hero, and she'd be tempted to roll her eyes about it if not for the number of people who seem to believe it.

Or the number that insist this is farther proof that the Jedi are villains. It's outrageous is what it is, and now that there's no Chancellor, all anyone can do is yell at each other without resolving anything. All they're managing to do is give her a raging headache, thank you, all of you.

Bail steps forwards to try convincing everyone that this is probably just another Separatist lie – except then, of course, that instigates another long argument about whether any of it was real and...

The chain of command is... off because of the war, which isn't helping either. The Vice Chancellor presumedly cannot be trusted either, though he does temporarily take control. How deep the corruption runs is anyone's guess, though by the time Captain Tarkin interjects – apparently, it's his place to speak on this, as part of the military in a democratic government system? – she's on the verge of either screaming or crying.

Predictably, he's turning the Jedi's own words on them with the point that it goes both ways, because it's quite obvious Anakin was, in fact, working with the Separatists, if this is to be believed, and they have no way of knowing how many Jedi knew about it, either. Therefore, he demands the Jedi's control of the war be taken, which instantly triggers another three-hour yelling match.

Sometimes, Padme almost wishes she'd chosen a different job. Almost. If she had, there'd be one less person here to be a voice of reason. Not as if there's many people left here to listen to reason, either way.

This causes a bit more debate, though, but she's already certain she knows exactly where this is going to go – downhill, against the Jedi, because for some reason, everything is going that way.

The only useful information Dooku offered, Padme decides, is that Palpatine was killed in the fight that occurred on Mustafar. Why isn't everything calming down faster, then?!

It takes three full days of discussion amidst trying to handle the chaos in the galaxy before Tarkin's petition is finally approved. Truthfully, there's no other way of doing it at this point. Dooku is calling for a ceasefire again, and especially considering the amount of chaos, Padme is pressing for them to agree.

She's not entirely certain it'll go through any more than it has every time, though.

She misses Anakin so badly. That, Dooku never did answer. He never said what happened to Anakin after he defeated Sidious. He never mentioned Ahsoka, either, and Padme certainly doesn't have a good feeling about that. Silence usually means something bad, and considering this is Dooku, she's certain it's bad.

And that coupled with the fact that she has no idea when Anakin's going to be back makes this seem so much more unbearable. Dealing with the chaos in the Senate is always so much easier when she knows she'll come home to find Anakin waiting there for her. He makes everything light when she's down.

His cheerfulness, his positivity, his playfulness, his naivety, everything. He makes light when there's dark, and she craves for some sort of reassurance that he's safe. There's been nothing but silence.

Likely, Dooku has him, and he won't be able to contact her until he finds a way out or until the Jedi find him. Right now, there's no sign of either happening in the near future.

**w**

Obi-Wan has never wanted to strangle anyone as badly as he does Tarkin right now. Or Dooku. Or Sidious. Or actually everyone in the galaxy, because he'd be lying if he said he wasn't feeling particularly unkind towards Anakin right now, too.

He should've gone to Mustafar faster. He should have gone with Anakin to rescue Senator Amidala. Just, something. Anything so they wouldn't have ended up where they did now, because Obi-Wan has no idea how they're going to get Anakin back.

Tarkin certainly put a stop to any hopes of that. There's no question about that – the Jedi will have way less ability and resources to stage the invasion they'll likely need to find Anakin, considering Dooku's ship was heading deep into Separatist space. Obi-Wan isn't entirely sure where, but he does know that.

Now that the Jedi have been removed from so many military roles – not as if they should've taken that role in the first place, but it had to be done – they have no reason to do so. It's as they were before – they have no real reason to invest an enormous amount in finding comrades they lose.

Jedi will always return for their own, but this is a very, very different situation, and Anakin is lost to a place that they'll never be able to look. Obi-Wan would be willing to drop everything and go out there alone, himself, but there's far more to it than that. They'll need much more to make it that far without the clones.

So, yes, despite how un-Jedi-like it is, he is furious at Anakin for getting himself in that situation. He's furious at everyone, actually.

The last thing he wanted to face was the possibility of losing Anakin, but there's simply no other way to put it. Yes, he can get him back, but...

But he has no doubt Dooku will be doing the same thing Sidious was. He never thought Anakin would Fall, and he can't say he does now, but he never thought Anakin would work with the Sith without telling the Council anything about it. Though then again, there's not much evidence that he was aside from Gunray's claims. And either way, he and Dooku both could've been lying, but...

Obi-Wan hopes it was something that just happened, though he can't deny being afraid it was something more with how Anakin was being about talking to the Council about anything. And maybe... if this draws out too long, he will find his own way to get Anakin back.

Somehow. (Force help him.)

**w**

The only good thing about this, Rex thinks bitterly, is that both his General and Commander were already gone, anyway. It's not yet entirely clear what this will mean for the clones, though currently, it appears they're being given over to the Chancellor to command. Speaking of him, Rex doesn't have a good feeling about him either, considering who Palpatine apparently was.

The clones are meant to be loyal to the Republic above all, not the Jedi, but his own loyalties have gotten blurred, confused, and changed over the war. He suspects it's true for all the 501st. It's impossible to fight side-by-side with someone without developing a blind trust and loyalty, and he's seen the things General Skywalker would do for him and his brothers. The Commander, too.

Anything. They'd do anything.

As clones, people that were bred for combat and to be expendable, Rex couldn't be more grateful. Anakin insists they're more than that, but they never have been to anyone else. It's how they grew up, and Rex isn't resentful of that. It's simply a part of his life.

The most he could've asked for is someone as kind as his General, who is now gone.

No doubt, he's stuck in some Seppie prison somewhere, and Rex would do anything to get him back, if only to do the same for him that Anakin himself would do for Rex and his brothers without a second thought. He'd cut in there himself, against direct orders, if he had to.

It's simply who his General was, and it's infuriating that no one else is doing anything about it.

Rex shouldn't be surprised to overhear a conversation about that very topic with his brothers.

"Are you sure there's nothing we can do?" Fives is asking.

"Not without getting ourselves court-martialed," Echo snaps.

"He would do it for us," Hevy interjects.

"We're not Jedi," Jesse objects.

"It's not right to leave them there," Fives insists.

"I don't like it any more than you do," Echo replies, "But what could we do?"

"Blast our way in," Hevy offers.

"That's a good way to get us shot after stepping in the door, never mind finding the General," Jesse argues.

As their captain, Rex knows he has to ignore his urge to tell them to continue, to push on, to finish it. He needs to tell them to stop, because it's his duty to keep them safe and out of trouble, even from themselves, though he had to admit that he knows where his loyalties really lie, and they're not with the Republic. Not on this.

Rex steps inside anyway. "What's going on in here?" he demands.

"Nothing, sir," Jesse says, and they all scramble. They might not have looked as incriminating as they do if not for that. Still, he can't help wondering, briefly, what would happen if he amassed whatever forces would be willing to come and staged an attack, even without backup.

But... it's just a thought, not an actuality, because they can't do it, so Rex dismisses it just as fast. It's unachievable. (Is it, though?)

**w**

Anakin has been out of it for a very long time, and Ahsoka has practically glued herself to his side the entire time. She's... terrified and a million other things that she can't name. All she does know is that she's been unbalanced ever since Dooku took her here. She doesn't have a way of getting either of them back home until Anakin is better.

She doesn't know how long that'll be either, because he was injured very badly. She hasn't been able to get straight answers about that, except that one of his lungs was quite badly damaged.

She is beyond irked about the fact that the droids won't answer anything because something about confidentiality that makes no sense, seeing as they're literally prisoners, although Dooku hasn't been treating them as such.

But being constantly tense and looking over her shoulder, expecting someone to try stabbing or shooting her in her back is doing wonders at calming her. Not.

She has no way to know what Dooku is doing with her master or what game he's playing. He's pretending to be nice, but he's a Sith. She's not an idiot enough to believe it.

Still, the loneliness is starting to grate on her more than she thought possible. She's entirely alone here. There's an insane and childish part of her that very badly wants to curl into a ball and cry, through Ahsoka knows full well that will change absolutely nothing about her and her master's predicament. Then again, nothing she can do will. Yelling at Dooku isn't gonna make him listen either.

She doesn't have a lot to do. Dooku took her lightsaber, and her comm, and she very badly wants to punch him for that. She probably would've if she hadn't been restrained right after.

Truthfully, there is nothing she can do, and restlessness is eating at her for more than anything else could. It doesn't make her feel any better that Ventress, of all people, is in the same medbay. She apparently was also injured fighting Sidious?

Staring at Anakin's motionless body hurts her more than she could say – he was so impossible to hurt, and she doesn't entirely understand how he was. It shouldn't've happened. She should have stayed with him throughout this all, so he didn't end up in this state. She should have protected him.

"Wake up, Master," she whispers, alone in the darkness of his room, unable to tear her eyes from him, "Wake up. I need you."

She needs him, just like that... alternate version of her so desperately needed him in that strange vision she had when they were strengthening their bond together. There's nothing she... wants, craves more than that.

It hasn't been long, and Ahsoka figures it's probably just the tension and stress of the situation starting to grate on her too much, but... she wants to have someone here she can trust.

What are the Jedi doing? They'll come looking, but when? And she wants to try getting out, but she can't leave Anakin behind. That's unthinkable. She will not do that, and she can't carry him. He needs medical help right now, anyway, and that's not something she can give him on her own.

What's happening to Rex and the others? Ahsoka scrubs a hand over her face, struggling to draw herself together enough to meditate. She ought to, but something has felt off recently, making it hard to concentrate. Something in the Force changed when this happened. It doesn't really... make sense, but it's still a fact she needs to deal with. She'd ask Anakin or Master Obi-Wan or Master Plo or maybe even Barriss, but she can't ask any of them now. Does it have something to do with Sidious being dead?

Not that it matters, since Dooku is still quite alive. The galaxy won't find peace until all the Sith are gone.

She could probably slip out on her own, and Ahsoka would be lying to say she hadn't considered it, but no. She's going to stay right here beside him, as stubborn as she has to be, until he finally understands that she's not going anywhere. Ahsoka had been trying to get that point across already, but he doesn't believe her. Maybe he just doesn't trust her. Master Obi-Wan certainly doesn't. Maybe she's just projecting that onto Anakin. Maybe she'll just ask him when he awakens.

Whenever that's going to be.

For now, Ahsoka can only sit here and stare at him, letting his burning fire of a presence wash over her, soothingly. That, at least, hasn't changed, through Anakin himself seems to be in turmoil – not as if that surprises her, considering how badly injured he was.

Ahsoka will have to continue waiting, and she has never been very good at waiting.

**w**

Consciousness returns slowly. The first thing he registers is that he's lying on something... soft, the rose-petal softness of Ahsoka's presence curled beside him. He pulls his eyes open, blinking a few times – his vision is awfully hazy – to see her sitting next to him. She's currently half asleep, but she jolts awake the moment she senses his presence stirring.

"Finally! Skyguy, I was starting to think you'd never wake up!"

He nudges out with the Force, frowning when he realizes that he's in no place he remembers. Then, with a jolt, he remembers everything that happened before he passed out on Mustafar. Of course, he's not on Coruscant. He deflates almost as soon as he wakes. "Dooku has us, doesn't he?"

He remembers the burning pain in his chest a moment later. That's why he's still hooked up to all these machines, isn't it? He doesn't know how bad the damage was, but for some reason, his chest aches dully every time he breathes.

"One of your lungs was damaged," Ahsoka tells him, squeezing his hand. Anakin squeezes it back. His hand feels a bit stiff and sore – he must've been out of it for quite a while. Considering he had to heal both from his lightning and lightsaber injuries, it's not surprising.

"How long've I been out?" he rasps.

"Almost two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Anakin yelps, instinctively trying to jolt upright.

"Stay down, you idiot!" Ahsoka yells, shoving him back down. She's angry. Ahsoka doesn't usually get this angry. He doesn't know why it sends a strange surge of uneasiness twisting in his gut – maybe it's just that this is the first person he's seen since the fight and since Sidious was torturing him. For a fleeting moment, he wishes he hadn't awoken at all. Then he remembers Rex and Padme and figures it's... probably best he's still here.

"How did you get here?" he demands instead, "You were safe on Coruscant. I came alone to keep you out of –"

"You don't get to make that choice!" Ahsoka all but shouts back, "I'm a Jedi padawan! You don't get to decide I'm not allowed to put my life in danger! That's what we're supposed to do!"

Anakin resists the urge to rub his head. "It was a trap Sidious set to lure me out. I had to answer. I knew it was me he wanted."

"It could have been anyone!"

"It was me, Ahsoka." He tries forcing something authoritative into his tone.

"How would you know that?" she snaps.

He never thought about what it would do to Ahsoka to explain this to her. She's going to be so hurt and angry. He'd deserve it if she never talked to him again, but he can't... bear the thought of that. He owes her answers, though. "I... talked to him. Before then."

"You did?" the Togruta asks, sitting back. She sounds uncertain and almost wary now.

"Yes. Yes – I did." He breathes in deeply, desperately hoping she's not going to start yelling again. Who is he kidding? Of course, she's going to. This is Ahsoka. It's best she lets it out when she's angry, anyway. "I discovered his identity the last time I was captured by Dooku. I didn't want to believe it at first, but I... confronted him about it. I did not want to believe it, but... it is. It was him."

Ahsoka's eyes are glued to him now, shock rolling off her in waves. "That was a long time ago," she ventures finally.

"I didn't want to act on it right away," he confesses, "He... confused me. He told me he wanted to help, and I... believed it." With a sudden crushing jolt, he realizes that Palpatine is gone. Anakin killed him.

What have you done? The one question repeats over and over in his mind, unshakable. What have you done? Palpatine was his friend. He was supposed to be, and Anakin killed him. He just. Did it. He should've known better than that. He should've done anything but that, but he did it, and now that it's done, he can't undo it, no matter how much he wishes he could take back his actions.

He can't undo that any more than he can bring his mother back to life – which he can't and never will be able to do, either. That knowledge settles over him with more crushing realness than the pain already in his chest, and he finds himself suddenly blinking back tears.

"I tried to find a way of taking him down on my own," he continues, "Then I... ended up here and this happened. So, yes, I knew it was him after me." He's not sure if Ahsoka noticed the slight tremor in his voice or not. Now is really not the time or place to be having a breakdown about having killed a Sith Lord of all things in the galaxy. Not in front of Ahsoka. "I couldn't let him hurt you."

"So, you just let him hurt you instead?!"

"I'm your master, Ahsoka. It's my duty to protect you."

"That's ridiculous," she snaps, jumping up. Anger is pouring off her in waves now. "So, you ran off after Sidious alone, even though you could've told the Council – did you tell the Council? Because they certainly didn't tell me!"

"No, I didn't." Even your padawan is smarter than you. What is wrong with you?

He looks away from her, unable to meet her gaze, but he can still feel her eyes boring into him, confused and wanting answers. Answers that he doesn't know how to give her.

"You keep doing this," she says flatly finally, and Anakin realizes with a jolt that she sounds like she wants to cry. Why does he keep doing this? Why can't he get anything right? Ever? He wishes Sidious's lightsaber had cut just a little deeper and that... he wouldn't be here anymore, because all he does is manage to hurt people. He can't do anything right anymore, if he ever could. "Keeping me out. Do you not trust me?"

"This isn't your fault, Ahsoka. The fear, the failure, it's mine." She's pulled away from him already, and he twists his hands into the sheets to make up for the loss of contact. "Every time I look at you, I see her. I remember what happened to her, and I... I want to spare you of that, and I don't know how to."

He hates himself for being so weak in front of her, but maybe now, at least, she'll be able to understand. Maybe.

Ahsoka wasn't able to understand most things about him, and he truly hopes she never will, because if she does, it'll mean being as messed up as he is.

"You're afraid," she repeats, "But you know I'm not her. I'm – I'm me."

"I wish I could remember that. I can't. Not always."

Ahsoka looks at him, pressing her lips together. Anakin waits for her rejection – it's inevitable, isn't it? Just like before. And why would she want to stay with him anyway? When he's so much a failure? "I need a moment to think," she says instead, disappearing from the room, leaving him alone to his own spiraling thoughts.

By the Force, what has he done? What's wrong with him? Why is it that all those who claim to love him either leave or betray him? Why is he...

Anakin drops still against the bed, trying to let himself fall off into a listless sleep again. He wishes he never woke up again.

He – he killed one of his friends, no matter if it was someone who betrayed him first. He still did it, and he knows Palpatine cared about him. Even if it was in it's own twisted, distant way – that's no less true about everyone else. Obi-Wan cast him aside and has already made it perfectly clear that he has no intention of having any sort of relationship outside of something... distantly profession. Ahsoka left him. He's only hurting this version of her even more, every moment he's close to her. He... loves Rex, but he can't count him, because Rex is a soldier and loyal to the Republic and in the end, he can't... do anything for Anakin, and Anakin will never ask anything of him, because that would be unfair.

Padme hasn't yet left or betrayed him, but he's... paranoid about it. He can't help it. Likely, he'd screw something up with them long before he did something she found unforgivable, because he already has, and she never hated him for it.

Even if she should've, and he does.

This... depression has been dragging out far longer than usual. He doesn't really understand why, but... it doesn't really matter.

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