Bullet XXX

"What's wrong, Boss?" -Hansel asked. "You've been acting like a slug lately."

Rock, who was staring absently out the window of his room he shared with Hansel at the hotel, turned to him. "A slug?"

"That's right, you crawl around all serious and grim, just like a slug."

"I believe the correct term is being discouraged.". -corrected Rock, to which Hansel merely shrugged. "And there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that things are going well, right? Leaving aside the fact that Balalaika and his men are making messes, this job is extremely smooth. We had no problems or notable incidents."

He had kept his word and did not get more involved than necessary in the business Balalaika and her men were conducting with the Yakuzas, limiting himself to only playing his role as translator.

The rest of the time, he spent at the hotel, walking around the city with the twins and messing with Ginji. He was not a sadistic man, but Ginji, having a Revy-like personality, serious and bitter, had become his new target for his bad jokes and witty remarks.

But even that was no longer funny.

Besides, Rock didn't want to push Ginji that hard either, since he didn't know the man very well and didn't know how far he could push him, because he ran the risk of Ginji getting tired and actually ending up killing him.

In short... Rock had nothing to do but wait for Balalaika to call him to translate something.

"I don't get it." -Hansel cocked his head to one side. "Isn't that good? I mean, you're always complaining about getting dragged into trouble. I thought you'd be happy to be able to relax without having to deal with a shit storm."

"Yeah, that's true but now...well, it's a little complicated." -Rock scratched his cheek, a little embarrassed. "What I mean, is that when we were in Roanapur everything was more... chaotic, I guess? Of course, I'm not saying that being on the verge of death all the time is a good thing, but experiencing such calm and tranquility after spending every day encountering crisis after crisis and extreme, unexpected situations is a bit..."

"Ah, I see." -Hansel nodded a couple of times. "You're bored by the lack of some good, healthy shootouts."

"Although I wouldn't call them healthy, nor would I call them good.". -Murmured Rock. He again stared at the through the window, not really seeing. "But yeah, I guess I'm bored."

He didn't exactly miss the gunfights either... but he did miss getting into trouble.

The thought that right now he could be involved in something much more interesting and fun, as well as dangerous, if he had stayed in Roanapur was becoming more and more frequent. Rock felt astray, and counted the days until he returned.

But that was something that bothered him, so he scolded himself for feeling that way.

"Anyway, you and I aren't the only ones who are bored around here.". -Said Hansel, with his hands behind his head. "The Ruskie has also been complaining that she's bored."

Rock rolled his eyes. "A few hours ago, she ordered her men to blow up a Kousa Group building. What boredom is she complaining about? Miss Balalaika has the most action out of all of us."

"No, no, look at it this way; she wasn't in that building, nor was she the one who pushed the button to blow it up, so that qualifies as boring."

"...I don't know what's worse, you defending her, or me agreeing with that point of view."

Rock let out a sigh and closed his eyes.

Only now did he realize how much he had changed since he had made the decision to stay and live on that troubled island. He wondered at what point that change had come about, to desire more than a normal, quiet life, and he couldn't find an answer.

But what he did know, was that Revy was responsible for getting him on that path.

She had been the one who had literally taken him out of his monotonous and empty life, introducing him to an unknown and emotionally charged world. Okay, it was also a Crapsack world, extremely dangerous and dark, but that didn't take away from the fact that it was more interesting.

Not content with that, Revy had impressed him on several occasions by displaying such ferocity, badassery and self-confidence. Revy had lit a spark in him, and Rock wished she hadn't.

'What kind of crazy shit is that idiot into right now?'

"I have nothing to do with this shit...". -Said Revy, trying to defend herself from Bao's severe and justified accusation. "It's not my fault."

"You tore down the entire entrance to my bar, brought two cars inside, smashed a lot of chairs, tables and dirtied my freshly mopped floor.". -The bar owner replied, deceptively calm and with a twitch in one of his eyes. "How is that not your fucking fault?"

Bao was very pissed off with both of them, which was normal, considering that they had suddenly appeared and completely destroyed his bar. But for some reason that Eda didn't quite understand, he seemed to be pissed off specifically with Revy, whom he had taken to a corner of the bar to then start scolding her severely, while she just stared at him blankly.

Revy had shot her a few glances, silently asking for help, but Eda pretended not to notice so as not to be the new target of Bao's wrath.

Instead, seeing that her partner would be temporarily off duty, she decided to walk over to her prey's car to check if they were dead, and if they weren't, then she would finish the job.

Or that was what was supposed to happen.

However, once Eda bent down to inspect the interior of the vehicle, she got a closer look at the 'spoiled brat' they were to kill, and her jaw nearly dropped to the floor as she finally recognized her.

'Oh, boy... I'm so fucked up.' -Eda thought.

She had murdered the daughter of a magnate with so much power and influence in the world, that even the top brass of the CIA, her bosses, were afraid of him. When they found out about this, they were going to scold her so hard, then fire her and finally kill her...maybe not even in that order.

But Eda's fear of having screwed up was quickly crushed by a surge of anger that made her clench her fists tightly.

Before all that happened, she'd track down the idiot who didn't warn her that Floyd Hekmatyar's daughter had come to her territory, and beat the shit out of him or her. Then, she'd beat the shit out of Revy for getting her into this poison job, then, she'd follow up with that son of a bitch Chang, for giving her that damn job in the first place.

And when all that was over, and if she still had any strength left, she would go to a random bar, drink a few beers until she got drunk and-.

"So, when are you going to kill me? Because I've got a piece of metal stuck in my ass and it's making me a little uncomfortable, so I'd appreciate it if you'd kill me quickly."

Eda blinked, the corpse of the brat was now talking to her and giving her a scowling look. She returned his gaze for a few moments and then began to laugh hysterically.

"Oh, I get it, I get it.". -Said Eda, after calming her laughter. "It's because of the crash, right? I hit my head and I'm delirious right now, or maybe it's because of the wine I was stealing from Yolanda before I left the church. I mean, that wine always gets me drunk fast because it's so sweet and I can never get enough."

"I have no idea what you're talking about.". -Said Koko. "But I'm not dead."

"Quiet, you fucking corpse!". -Eda retorted, pointing accusingly at her. "Don't interrupt the monologue of someone going through a mental breakdown, you stupid, spoiled corpse!"

"That I'm alive, dammit!"

"How do I know you're really alive and not just a figment of the panic afflicting my drunken imagination!?"

"Don't you realize I'm talking to you, you idiot!?"

"Oh... right." -Murmured Eda, suddenly regaining her composure.

She let out a sigh of relief and exhaustion. The good news was that, even though she had some cuts, scrapes and bumps that would turn into future nasty bruises, Koko Hekmatyar was alive, so her own life wasn't fucked.

The bad news, there always had to be bad news, was that this would not last long.

Her little exchange with the brat got Bao's attention and made him stop scolding Revy, and now he and she were approaching the vehicle. And once Revy discovered that the girl was still alive, she would put a bullet in her head.

Which meant Eda would be fucked again.

Eda began to rack her brain, straining to find a quick way to solve this big problem, and the first one that came to her mind was to pull out her gun and shoot Revy.

But that was easier said than done. If she did it, it had to be a lethal shot, one that would kill her on the spot, or she would end up facing Revy in a gunfight and that was practically suicide.

But she quickly dismissed that idea, as she didn't like it in the least.

Revy might be a bitch, a bitter bitch and a real motherfucker, but she was also a friend. Revy was the only person in Roanapur, with whom Eda bothered to bond and forge a friendship without it having anything to do with her undercover work on the island, for the simple fact that she liked her.

It was also because she was hot, and had a nice ass, but that was just a little extra that came with the package.

So how the hell could she convince her not to kill that damn brat?

'Come on, hurry up and think of something, you fucking asshole.'

Bao and Revy stopped right in front of her, the latter with her hands on her hips and her brow furrowed. "What the hell is going on here?" -She asked.

Eda's response was to punch her in the middle of the face, knocking her down by catching her off guard. Bao backed up a step, startled by the sudden attack.

Eda, still with her fist outstretched, blinked. She had thrown the punch out of panic...but it was also true that she was pissed at her partner and had wanted to punch her for a while now. 'Oh well, that'll buy me some time.'

From the floor, and with a slight trail of blood dripping from her nose, Revy gave her an angry look. "What the fuck is wrong with you, bitch!?"

"That's my line, bitch!". -Eda replied. "I told you I didn't want a poison job!"

Revy jumped to her feet and closed the distance between them, leaving their faces only inches apart, visibly pissed off. "What poison, if all you have to do is kill a brat!"

"That's the problem, we can't kill this brat!". -Responded Eda, without backing down. In fact, her friend's ignorance pissed her off even more. "She's untouchable, untouchable, you understand!? We're going to have a lot of trouble if we kill her!"

Revy headbutted her. "Why!?"

Eda headbutted her back, harder. "Because she's is fucking Koko Hekmatyar!"

"Who the fuck is Koko Hekmatyar?" -Bao asked, jumping into the discussion.

From inside the vehicle, and with her eyes rolling, the alluded raised her hand. "That's me."

Eda and Revy turned to look at her, even though this was not possible due to the height difference. "Shut up, bitch!" -They shouted in unison.

Watsup, with his feet propped up on his desk, snored softly with a magazine covering his face.

After he and Chang met that time, and the latter gave his word that the other idiot mobsters who were going to behave themselves a bit, things had been quiet in the town lately.

Still, despite earning complaints and looks of hatred, Watsup ordered all his boys to be scouring the hot streets to beat up and lock up anyone who tried to break that quiet.

So now, all officers in uniform, or out of uniform, were on duty at this time.

There was no chain of command, no secretary, no rookies bragging about getting a good bribe. With the exception of a few drunks and unruly drug addicts locked in the cells, he was alone in the police station, so he decided to take a little break.

He was asleep for quite a while, until the door to his office burst open, startling him and almost knocking him out of his seat. Watsup slapped the magazine away from his face in irritation and saw that one of the many uniformed idiots was standing in the doorway.

"Lackie, you son of a bitch.". -Watsup growled after a second. "What did I tell you about hitting first? You're going to give me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry, boss, but we have a serious problem.". -Responded the officer.

"So what now, are there any more suspicious explosions at the Hotel Moscow?"

"No, sir, no further incidents have been reported there. This is about a gunfight on Hamfon Street, a partially leveled market, a traffic accident between two vehicles that destroyed Yellow Flag and what appears to be a hostage taking at the same location."

Watsup sighed. He knew that the quiet was not going to last long in Roanapur, in fact, it was a real achievement to have managed to keep everything calm for so long.

But to come back to the usual problems with such force, in the same damn day, was a pain in the ass.

"So what? Just take care of it, kill any bastards who get too smart."

Lackie shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. "That's the problem, boss. It's about Two Hands and the nun from Rip Off Church, Eda. They are involved in everything. One of the patrols identified them when they were chasing another vehicle, which they were shooting at, and right now they are at Yellow Flag after crashing there with the vehicle they were chasing. There are officers on the scene, but they are too scared to arrest them."

Watsup pinched the bridge of his nose hard. Of course his boys were going to be afraid, he was afraid himself. Separately, those two bitches were dangerous and troublesome, but together they were a real catastrophe. "Why the hell didn't you stupid assholes warn me sooner?"

"We did, sir, but you weren't answering. Maybe your radio..."

They both glanced over at the radio that was lying carelessly on the desk, with no batteries. Watsup had removed them so that no one could disturb him while he took a short nap. He stood up, ignoring the blank look his subordinate was giving him.

"Okay, you said Yellow Flag, right? You stay here in case something else happens, also, call for backup and tell them to report immediately to the Bao bar, I'm on my way there."

"How many patrols should I call?" -Lackie asked.

"All of them."

After they both calmed down, and forcing Bao to help them, Eda and Revy pulled Koko and her bodyguards out of the overturned car. They then decided to tie them all to chairs, which Bao reluctantly lent them, placing several thick layers of tape on their hands and feet to restrict their movements.

The situation had turned from attempted murder to hostage-taking, and Revy was not at all happy about that.

It was supposed to be a quick and easy job, but Eda had been really stubborn about not killing the brat. It didn't help matters that she was staring at them without showing any hint of fear on her face.

In fact, she looked annoyed, and Revy was getting the urge to punch her.

"So..." -Revy said, pointing at the girl. "Who the fuck is this asshole?"

"You'd know if you idiots would stop interrupting me every time I introduce myself.". -Koko pointed out.

However, she was ignored.

"Koko Hekmatyar.". -Eda replied, as she finished adjusting a few more layers of tape to the girl's bindings, just as a precaution. Though it's not like a teenage girl could do anything against the two of them even if she released him.

Eda was just playing with the tape because she was probably bored.

Revy shrugged. "I don't know her."

"I'm not surprised, you're just a lowlife criminal living in this shithole you call Roanapur.". -Commented Koko.

"Whereas I belong to an international company that buys, sells and distributes weapons all over the planet, besides a lot of other things that your limited brain wouldn't be able to understand."

"The girl sells weapons." -Said Eda.

"I see."

Stop ignoring me! -Koko exclaimed, shaking herself in the chair where she was tied. "But what is wrong with all of you!? First it was that fucking Japanese salaryman, then that fucking Chinese guy, and now you two bitches. Do all the psychopaths on this damn island have a habit of ignoring and interrupting people when this one speaks to them!?"

Eda finished with her work and stood up, looking at the girl with a raised eyebrow. "Did you say something?"

"RAARRGHH!"

Revy let go of her bad mood for a moment and smiled, pleased at pissing off the arrogant brat.

However, she quickly wiped that smile away to concentrate on what really mattered right now; completing the job. Then she pulled out one of her guns and pointed it directly at the brat's head, who turned pale, ready to blow her brains out.

"Hold on a second, Two Hands. ". -But Eda put one of his hands on the barrel of her gun and forced her to lower it. "Didn't I tell you? We can't kill this girl, she is someone important, daughter of someone very important and powerful, who could bring us a lot of trouble if we kill her."

Yes!". -Koko exclaimed hopefully, nodding a couple of times. "Your friend is absolutely right!"

Revy let out a growl. "So what if the brat is some president's daughter or something? It won't be the first time I've killed someone important."

If some asshole was enough of a, well, asshole, to come looking for trouble for killing that brat, so be it. She had enough bullets for everyone.

"You're not paying attention to the big picture, girl.". -Eda smiled and pointed at Koko with her thumb. "This stupid girl is worth more alive than dead, I mean, her father has a lot of money. If we kidnap her and ransom her, we can easily get double or triple what Chang offered you, and technically we would be getting rid of her. Besides, this way we eliminate the risk of someone later coming looking for trouble for killing her."

"Oh...ohh. Now we're talking!". -Said Revy, excited about that new plan. "How the hell did I not think of that before!?"

"Maybe it's because you're a muscle head who only thinks of Rock's ass!?"

"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but you're damn right!"

"So you agree with me to let the brat live so we can make mountains of money!?"

"Hell yeah!"

Then, they both shook hands to seal the deal and began to laugh out loud, as if they had made the greatest discovery of the century.

"Noooo~!" -Koko again shook in her chair, trying unsuccessfully to free herself. "That's terrible idea!"

But she was again ignored by the two pitiful adults, who, after stuffing a dirty rag in her mouth to keep her from talking, began to discuss the next steps; how much money she was going to ask for, where they would keep the brat locked up until they were paid the ramson and how much they would split between the two of them.

Meanwhile, although very interested in getting a share of the loot, Bao limited himself to cleaning up the mess of his bar to get away and not get involved in the plans of those two idiots.

"Hold on a second." -Said Revy, after coming to an agreement with her partner. She pointed to the three bodyguards, who were still tied up and unconscious. "What do we do with these guys?"

"Oh... I don't know.". -Eda scratched her head. "I highly doubt they'd want to pay us for them, I mean, they're just bodyguards and they couldn't even do their job right."

Revy again pulled out one of her guns. "Then I can kill them, right?"

"Well... yeah, but what the hell, why so bloodthirsty?"

Revy shrugged. She didn't really have anything against those guys, except for the fucker who shot them with a machine gun, but she'd been through a lot of shit since taking the job. She was tired, sore, and wouldn't be satisfied unless she put a bullet in some poor bastard's head so she could release tension.

Or in this case, three of them.

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"Bah, whatever." -Said Eda. "They don't matter to me, do whatever-". -Suddenly, they both heard sirens rapidly approaching. "Oh shit, now what?"

After a moment, cop cars appeared, surrounding the destroyed bar.

But it wasn't two or three, it was at least a dozen of them. Immediately after, the officers got out of their vehicles, guns in hand, and pointed them directly at them from all directions. Then, a familiar and disgusting face also got out of a patrol car.

"Ladies..." -said Watsup, approaching with a regulation police baton resting casually on one of his shoulders. "You're under arrest, assholes."

"..."

"..."

"Didn't you hear me?" -Watsup raised an eyebrow. "Are you deaf as well as sluts? Get off your asses and get in a goddamn car, you're going to spend a few nights in jail."

"Come on, boss, we're in the middle of something here.". -Said Eda. "Business, business, you know? We're not bothering anybody."

"Are you kidding me, you brainless nun? You did a shootout in the middle of the streets and in broad daylight, razed a market, trashed a bar, took hostages and interrupted my nice nap.". -Watsup replied, pointing his baton at them. "For that last reason alone I should put you against a wall and shoot you."

"We're working for Boss Chang...". -Revy began to say, but she was interrupted.

"I don't give a shit about that asshole Chang.". -said Watsup, almost spitting out the gangster's name. "I warned that motherfucker I didn't want no more trouble around town. If I ever see him, I'll throw his ass in a cell too for being involved in all this shit. Now shut the fuck up and get in a car, I won't tell you again."

To give more emphasis to his words, the other officers removed the safety catches from their weapons, leaving them ready to fire. They didn't have simple 9mm pistols, they had light machine guns and shotguns. One moron even had a grenade launcher. The bastards had brought the heavy equipment from the armory.

Revy rolled her eyes, that was a complete exaggeration. What the hell were they, fucking tanks?

Still, she holstered her weapon and raised her hands in surrender. She wasn't so crazy, or stupid, to shoot at such a disadvantage. Eda took a few more seconds to move, but finally she too raised her hands.

Watsup nodded and motioned to his boys, who quickly, and very carefully, approached them to remove their weapons and handcuff them.

"This is fucking shit." -Eda complained, clicking her tongue. "That's the last time I work with you, bitch."

"You were the idiot who went through the market and who decided to ram the brat."

"Shut up, don't talk to me, you poisoner."

"Fuck you."

Bao, who had been staying away from everything, quickly walked up to Boss Watsup.

"What now?" -Said he, pointing at the brat and her unconscious bodyguards. "What's with all these idiots? Supposedly they're supposed to be important people or something, I don't want them in my damn bar."

"What's left of it." -Revy pointed out.

"Very funny, pissy bitch, I hope you enjoy spending the night in your cell in the company of cockroaches."

"Oh... yeah." -Watsup scratched his chin with his baton, thinking for a moment. Then he shrugged. "I'll arrest them, too, so I'll save myself the trouble of doing a lot of paperwork."

At that moment, the brat finally managed to remove the rag she had stuffed in her mouth, spitting it out.

"Hold on a second!" -she exclaimed. "That doesn't make any sense! Me and my bodyguards are the victims here, so why are we being arrested too? I demand a lawyer, this is abuse of authority!"

"Miss, you and your friends were involved in a shootout on the streets along with these two bitches, so I'm all over my-" -Watsup snorted, amused. "-right to arrest them."

"They were chasing us to kill us!". -Koko replied, indignantly. "What did you expect us to do!?"

"Die." -Answered Watsup, deadpan. "And you'd better forget about getting a lawyer, there isn't one in Roanapur. And if there is, then he must be a scammer and his name is probably Saul."

"But-!"

"Somebody put a dirty rag in this asshole's mouth so she'll shut up!" -Watsup barked. An officer rushed over to Koko, picked up the rag she had spit out earlier, and put it back on her. "Good job, now get off your asses people and get these idiots into some cars!"

"I am disappointed." -Chang said. In front of him, in several separate cells, were Eda, Revy, Koko and her bodyguards. All staring blankly at him. "Considering the title of the chapter, I expected to see some erotic content, not a lot of idiots behind bars. That's false advertising."

"Fuck you." -That was the general response from all the prisoners.

"It's good to know that everyone is getting along now.". -Chang smiled. "There's nothing like attempted murder to bring people together, don't you think?"

Behind him, Dutch was having a heated argument with Boss Watsup, to get his employee released.

Or at least the corrupt cop was the one who was heated, Dutch was simply staring at him silently, nodding from time to time, pretending to pay attention to his scoldings.

Normally, when Dutch handed an envelope loaded with money to Watsup, he would immediately release Revy.

But since Watsup was still pissed about the incident with the Italians and the Yakuzas at the strip club, he informed Dutch the unfortunate news that no amount of bribery would be enough to release his employee immediately, so she would have to stay in a cell for a good while.

Of course, being a real asshole, Watsup pointed that out after accepting the envelope of money.

So Dutch had no choice but to call Chang at the police station so that he could intervene and pay the 'ramson' of his employee, as Dutch said he was directly responsible for Revy being detained.

And Chang, being someone so benevolent and merciful, agreed to intervene on behalf of Dutch and his employee, managing to convince Watsup to release Revy within a couple of days and not in months as the corrupt cop had planned to do by way of punishment.

Besides, he agreed to intervene so that he would have a chance to laugh at the brat who tried to kill him, since she was also arrested.

Also, although he had not hired her, Chang paid for Eda, as that would be a good way to screw the agent under cover if the two of them had to meet in the future.

And considering the cold look she was giving him, she would most likely summon him to a meeting to severely scold him for the whole chaotic situation. But that didn't matter to Chang right now, because he had another, more important matter to discuss with someone else.

So, he fixed his attention on Revy, and walked over to her cell. "Don't you think you're a little old to be pissing yourself?"

"When I get out of here, I'll put a bullet in your ass.". -She replied.

"Ah, it didn't end very well for you the last time you tried to kill someone.". -Chang replied. "Hell, that makes me wonder if it was really a good idea to hire you."

Revy clicked his tongue. "Things got a little out of hand, but we had the brat, okay? The job would have been finished by now, but that idiot Watsup suddenly showed up and interrupted us."

"Well, yeah, but not in the way I had intended. I mean, I hired you to get rid of the brat who was playing gangster, but at no time did I say I wanted her dead."

"Oh, don't give me that shit, you know damn well how the word 'get rid' is interpreted in our business!"

"Ah-ah, don't get mad at me for screwing up so badly, Two Hands."

"Fuck you, asshole, I'll never take a job for you again!"

"We'll see about that when you're hungry and can't find any other work." -Chang replied, smiling.

He wasn't really upset with her for her failure, nor for misunderstanding his mission, as he accepted that, in part, it was his fault for not being more specific with the details. It was an insignificant thing, but Chang sometimes forgot that, in this business, life and death hung on seemingly insignificant details.

Chang simply wanted to piss her off a bit before he left the police station and went back to his business, as this little problem was solved and he could do nothing more.

Watsup had been adamant about keeping everyone involved in this little incident behind bars, to make an example of them, and it would be unwise to push him any further.

But before he could continue messing with Revy, he heard a loud metallic click at his back, along with the sensation of something cold enveloping one of his hands. Turning to look, he found the grinning Watsup.

Paralyzed with confusion, Chang couldn't react in time, and the police boss caught his other hand, leaving him handcuffed.

"But what the hell...?"

"Did you think you were going to save yourself from this, after I warned you I didn't want any more trouble in the town?" -said Watsup, widening his cruel grin. "Well you were wrong, bitch, you're going to be spending a few nights here with your new friends."

. "...Humans have the amazing ability to talk.". -said Chang, a bead of cold sweat trickled down the side of his face. "So let's talk this out and come to an agreement, boss."

"Talk to the cockroaches, asshole." -Watsup let out a loud whistle, and after a moment, some officers appeared on the scene. "Boys, show this respectable gentleman to our best available room. He plans to stay a good while with us."

"Not in this lifetime!" -Chang exclaimed, panicking, then turning to his only possible salvation. "Dutch, help me, kill Watsup and his men!"

However, Dutch simply lit a cigarette in complete calmness, and then put his hands in his pockets. He seemed to be enjoying the whole situation. "Nope."

"Come on, man, don't be an asshole!". -Chang said, struggling to free himself. But his resistance was futile, Watsup and the officers started dragging him towards one of the cells, while the other prisoners started taunting him, pointing their fingers at him and laughing loudly. "At least call my fucking lawyer!"

"You know, when I agreed to help you lift Boss' spirits, I didn't have this in mind." -Said Gretel, watching her brother concentrate on his work.

Hansel had remarked to her that Rock was a bit down, his brother had described him as a slug, so he had thought to play a practical joke on Balalaika so that Rock would be a bit distracted and amused by the Ruskie's reactions.

Gretel was happy that her brother was showing concern for someone other than himself, or her, as it indicated that Hansel was finally softening a bit.

The problem with this was that Hansel's practical joke consisted of inserting a grenade tied to a long rope, made of sheets, into Balalaika's toilet, then pulling the rope, unlatching the grenade and making it explode along with the toilet.

He had been anything but foolish and waited for Balalaika and his men to leave the hotel along with Rock, as they had a new meeting with a Yakuza leader or something, to head towards Balalaika's room. The hotel employees wouldn't be a problem either, as they rarely came by if Balalaika didn't call them.

So Hansel had a free hand to perform his dangerous prank.

Maybe her brother hadn't softened up after all...

"Anyway…" Gretel continued, "What is it you have against toilets? Is it because you got stuck in one that time?"

Hansel gave him a frowning look. "No, and don't mention that again, it's because I don't like the Ruskie. And since you and Boss won't let me kill her, well, this is my way of messing with her."

Well, he had a point there, since Gretel didn't like Balalaika either. The same thing happened with Revy at first, but after spending so much time with her, Gretel had gotten used to her difficult personality. Of course, this didn't mean she was going to completely let her guard down with Revy, but she did like her.

Besides, it was fun to mess with her.

However, Balalaika was different. She and her brother had not interacted much with Balalaika, and because of that they simply did not know how to deal with her. But Gretel doubted they would ever be able to get along with that woman.

After all, Balalaika was someone fierce, cruel and ruthless. She was someone who could pull a trigger as calmly as she could pull a doorbell...

'Umm?' -Gretel cocked her head to one side. 'Wait a minute, come to think of it, Anego isn't that right too?'

In that case, maybe she and her brother could indeed get along with Balalaika after all.

But she left that matter for another time, and concentrated on her idiot brother. "Still, there are other ways of pissing someone off, brother, more normal methods.". -She said

"And where would the fun be in that?" -Hansel replied, returning to his dangerous task. "Besides, this won't be a big deal. I've filtered the toilet water, so I was able to position the grenade deep in the plumbing, so the explosion won't destroy the whole bathroom, just this damn thing."

'Damn thing, huh?' -Gretel thought, deadpan. 'So you do have a grudge against toilets.'

Her brother stood up, then turned to her with a thumbs-up. "Everything's ready."

She nodded, now there was no way to back down, though it's not like she wanted to. Because Gretel also found the idea of pissing off Balalaika by blowing up her toilet amusing, since the Ruskie had been especially annoyed the last time they'd pulled that practical joke.

And it hadn't been long since then, so Balalaika probably remembered that incident as well. By repeating the joke, Hansel would also be striking a chord in her. He would be reliving, whether consciously or not, her trauma.

Gretel couldn't help but smile. "Hansel..."

"Yes?"

"You're a fucking psycho."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Come on, let's take a safe distance, dying from an exploding toilet is a ridiculous death."

XXXX

While the hotel manager apologized repeatedly for the inconvenience, he and his employees took it upon themselves to clean up the mess in the bathroom of Balalaika's room.

But she ignored them, because it was obvious that it was not their fault. It was the fault of the two bratty idiots kneeling in front of her, so Balalaika concentrated on them, leaving the hotel manager and his employees to tidy up the mess.

Next to her, Rock asked the first and foremost question.

"Why did you murder Miss Balalaika's toilet?" -She smacked the back of his head, silently signaling him to rephrase the question. "I mean, why did you destroy Miss Balalaika's toilet?"

Unexpectedly, the boy was the first to speak, raising his hand. "That's easy to explain. You see, you told me a while ago that you were bored of doing nothing, so I came up with the bright idea to blow up the Ruskie's bathroom so you'd get a little distracted, so you'd stop acting like a slug. In short, Boss, this is your fault."

"But what kind of bullshit conclusion is that!?". -Rock exclaimed. Balalaika gave him an expressionless look, making him nervous. "W-What?"

She pointed to a spot next to the brats who, far from looking intimidated or guilty, seemed to be enjoying this whole situation. "On your knees, Japonski."

"But I don't-!"

She raised her fist in a threatening manner, and he quickly obeyed the order, placing himself next to the kids. Once this was done, Balalaika let out a tired sigh, preparing to give the three of them a severe scolding. But before she could speak, the girl interrupted her, pointing accusingly at her twin.

"He was the material perpetrator."

"Sister!?"

"Take responsibility for getting me into this big trouble, Hansel!"

"You're a traitor!"

As the kids began to argue among themselves, Rock let out a resigned sigh. "What are we going to do. Miss Balalaika, while your bathroom is being repaired, you can use mine."

"Don't talk bullshit!". -Balalaika barked, finally losing her patience. "You're the one mainly responsible for this shit, so you better keep your mouth shut, or as punishment I'll make you piss in a bottle for as long as we stay in Japan!"

"But I didn't do anything! Why should I be punished in such a ridiculous and unexpectedly light-hearted way!?"

"You're the one who was complaining about being bored, putting stupid ideas into your brats' heads!" -Balalaika replied. "Hey, look at my face when I'm talking to you! Stop covering your ears!"

"Remain silent, I want to avail myself of my right to remain silent!'" -Rock exclaimed, with his ears covered and looking at the ground. "I'm not going to accept any trial without a lawyer, so get me one, or you'll be the one who'll have to piss in a bottle!"

"Asshole, are you looking for a fight!?"

The hotel manager, who had probably been listening to all the noisy discussion, quickly approached them. "Miss Balalaika, Miss Balalaika.". -he said, with a big smile on his face. "We've already replaced your toilet, so neither of you will have to piss in a bottle!"

This made Rock and Balalaika stop yelling at each other and turn to look at him.

"Shut up!" -They said in unison.

"Ekkk!"

At that moment, the twins stood up, drawing the attention of the three adults. To their confusion, Gretel took off her wig and tossed it somewhere down the hall. Since they were both dressed in the same coats, and now had the same haircut, it was almost impossible to tell one from the other unless you paid close attention to them.

Then Hansel and Gretel made a series of quick, short jumps, switching places several times, further confusing the adults.

Once this was done, they stopped their jumping and began running off in different directions.

"Hey, don't run away!" -Said Balalaika, looking both ways, not knowing which one to chase first. "Come back here and accept your fate, you fucking cowards!"

But naturally she was ignored and the twins quickly disappeared from the scene. She clicked her tongue, pissed off, and turned to Rock and the poor hotel manager to unleash her fury on them.

But she found that the two men also disappeared from the place, leaving her alone in the hallway.

"Ah, goddamn it!"