I stared in puzzlement at the noisy machine with the hugely impractical structure, failing to understand its purpose.

"ALL SYSTEMS OPERATIONAL," the machine persisted in its loud voice. "AWAITING ORDERS!"

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit!" Mr. Pittman cried, his hands flying at the keys.

"HUMAN LIFEFORMS DETECTED!" The machine pointed its glass and metal tube at the children. "REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE!"

"Shut the fuck up, Dalek 375!" Brice shouted as he pounded the keys. "You're going to get us all killed!"

At last the machine said, "I OBEY" in a low tone, its eyestalk drooping.

"It's a Dalek!" Sarah laughed.

"A fucking loud Dalek," Brice groaned. "Which wasn't a problem until right now."

Sarah grinned. "What's it made of?"

"Only aluminum, unfortunately."

"Is there a thing inside?"

He chuckled. "Yeah. An electric motor and a mop with a plastic eyeball stuck through it."

"What's a Dalek?" I asked. "(Chair)?"

"Only the most iconic scifi villains of all time!" Mr. Pittman raised an eyebrow at the girls. "You didn't show him Doctor Who?"

They shook their heads no.

Brice glanced with fear at the hut's entrance "I'll explain it to you later. I think I just heard something."

Rapidly, he typed something on the keyboard. The Dalek again raised its eyestalk, snapping to life. "OBJECTIVES UPDATED! I OBEY!"

A blue flame shot out of the machine's metal tube like a welding torch. It rolled down the tunnel, screaming "INTRUDER! INTRUDER! ALL UNITS INTERCEPT!"

Brice flicked a switch, and a monitor on his desk displayed a view from the machine's eye stalk. Another displayed a map.

The camera shook with every bump as the machine rolled closer to the entrance of the hut I'd gotten my patches from, screaming its repetitive mantra of "INTRUDER ALERT" and "ALTERT, INTRUDERS DETECTED."

Attracted by the loud noises, my family rushed to the little building.

I could see, even on the small screen, that Sarah's mother had been fairly successful in combat: Spike Head's tail reduced to a melted stump, and Hissandra now limping, a jagged gash running along her upper torso.

Only mother seemed to be undamaged, more than likely due to her exoskeleton being physically tougher.

"AWAY FROM MY HUT, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!" Pittman's robot shouted.

I watched Grouchsticks with fascination as Grouchsticks silently mouthed each word, typing the corresponding letters so the machine could say them.

A five foot jet of flame shot out of the Dalek's tube like a flame thrower. My mother and sisters jumped back.

"It's too bad it's only designed for pyrotechnics," Brice muttered.

The robot turned, blasting jets of fire at each of my family members, driving them further back. "THAT'S RIGHT, ASSHOLES! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE OR YOU'RE ALL CRISPY CRITTERS!"

The camera turned, the machine bumping its way through a plot of wheat, my family trailing warily behind it.

"It's a good thing I put in those all terrain wheels. Mara almost had a cow until I explained it would double as a seeder." Brice let out a mischievous laugh. "Kinda forgot to put the seeding equipment in there, though."

"This isn't going to work," I said. "I admit it has (chair) has heat, but they can smell prey."

"Will a bunny work?"

I stared. "What?"

"I just remembered what I had under the mop and the eyeball."

Sarah's eyes widened. "You're using Mr. Biggles as bait?"

Pittman shrugged. "Kid, I'm going to miss him too, but it's better him than me."

Rebecca frowned. "How long has he been in there?"

"Oh? Maybe an hour. He's not starving or anything. I just put him there for a moment so I could clean his cage."

Already Sanchirck clawed at the Dalek's shell, trying to get to the rabbit.

The robot responded with a burst of flame.

"Can you see mom?" Sarah whispered.

Brice spun the Dalek's head around in a circle. "No..."

He clicked a few buttons and an infrared version of the scene appeared. No sign of the woman. "Sorry, sugar. She's either gone, or..."

The man frowned. "Well, no use burning bread! Let's just hope she's out there, running on stealth mode or something."

He punched a button and the door to Hydroponics slid open.

"What are you doing?" Rebecca asked.

"I'm taking Bernie's friends on a little field trip."

"His name is Ernie."

"His name is going to be irrelevant if this plan doesn't work."

I felt like mentioning how I'm actually female, but I'd gone that long without arguing the point. Not a very opportune time for it to be discussed anyway.

The bumpy faced Ahxalybij eagerly pawed at Brice's machine until it barked, "BACK OFF, GRANOLA HEAD!", spewing fire out of its cannon.

The machine rolled out of the greenhouse, taunting my sisters by pointing its plunger at its head, calling, "FREE FOOD! FREE FOOD!" as it slowly backed further away.

All four Ss'sik'chtokiwij crept halfway out the door frame, eying the wide concrete enclosure with suspicion. Only Ahxalybij seemed unbothered, padding a few feet ahead of the others.

"Smash them with the door!" Sarah hissed.

"Sweetie cakes," Brice sighed. "It's going to be slow. Those doors weren't designed to kill aliens, or people for that matter. The moment that thing starts closing, they'll get spooked and run back here before it can hurt anyone."

He pushed a button, speaking into a microphone. "Hey! You with the stump!" He used an Atari joystick to point the plunger at Sanchirck. "Come get me!"

He pushed another button, causing the icon of the robot on the map to rotate back and forth like dancing. "Sugar sugar..." he sang. "Ahh, honey honey...you are my candy girl..."

Spike Head crept forward, and Brice sent the Dalek past an area of the map labeled `CHEM.'

Sweat broke out on the man's face. "C'mon. C'mon, you dumb bastard. Follow the bunny."

He made the head turn, the plunger pointing at the others. "And what about you? You guys too chickenshit to chase a giant soda can with a rabbit inside?"

Seeming to understand, Ahxalybij and Hissandra followed Sanchirck, Mom trailing protectively behind them, just in case, I suppose, if something bad happened.

The Dalek backed further and further away.

"Are you hungry for Bunny King now?" Brice sang.

"Close the door!" Sarah hissed.

"Not yet! They'll freak!" He leaned over the mike, twirling the joystick. "My bun-ny takes the morning train..."

As the machine neared a room marked `AUTOMATION', my family lost interest.

Brice slapped a button, and a blinking dash on the square labeled `HYD' flashed on. Mom and the others turned to look.

Wiping sweat from his glasses, Brice pushed some buttons, causing the robot to blow a burst of flame and wiggle more frantically than before.

Raising his voice, Brice sang, "Overture, light the lights, this is it, we'll hit the heights, and far more heights we'll hit..."

The camera skewed at an angle, the screen flickering and filling with snow as the machine hit the floor with a crunch. "Damn. If only I'd put some explosives in there."

Rabbits sound really weird when they scream.

"A moment of silence for Mr. Biggles," Mr. Pittman sighed, putting a hand to his heart.

"Miss Biggles," Rebecca corrected.

"Right. Miss." He bowed his head. "Biggles, your sacrifice will not be in vain."

Sarah glanced anxiously at the monitor. "Is the door shut?"

"Hmmm..." Brice pushed buttons. "I put that camera in so I don't have to keep getting up to check if people are outside. Needless to say, seeing Lou getting disemboweled was not the highlight of my day."

He shook his head. "Poor guy. I'm really going to miss him. We had a good poker game going on last night. If I knew what was going to happen today, I would've let his wife sit in, maybe even the odds a little bit."

Video snow changed to a view outside the hut. The main entry door still hadn't finished closing. "Shit."

Mother stuck her head under the slowly descending door, sniffing the air.

Was she really that dumb? I could only hope. Of course, when she attacked Mr. Hansen, the door had been closed that time, too.

Brice swore as he stared at the monitor. "Close, damn you! Close!"

Claws clicked on concrete tile behind me, I spun around to discover a limping blackened shape, dotted by smoldering yellow wounds and metal arrow shafts, dome and exoskeleton covered in blisters and burn marks.

Wordlessly, she loped up to Brice's chair and pointed a fist at him, slowly extending her middle claw.

He chuckled. "The fuck?"

In response, Sydjea pounced, knocking him screaming to the floor as she tore into him with her claws.