I switched the camera to the live feed of the control station. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, cowardly even, but a careful analysis of any accident scene is the first step in any good first aid attempt.

From overhead, the room looked like a guitar pick in shape, a rounded triangular wedge forming the northeast portion of the round building. At the wide end, there stood three glass domes overlooking the landing area, each with a small computer station. A few feet behind these lay a large horseshoe shaped desk with more computers, and behind that, an organic plant sofa framed by two jamassi beds, for those late night shifts. The station appeared to have been busier once, but now only one of those dome computer stations appeared to be active, for one staff member, possibly due to budget cuts.

That staff member now lay sprawled on his back behind the horseshoe desk with his guts ripped open, his dress torn and bloody. Taimoorazi lay a few yards away, at the head of the staircase next to the center dome.

I looked around for Quana and found her cowering behind a darkened desk.

A white object streaked by, but was gone when I blinked.

I sent an emergency broadcast on the communicator, which transmitted through the communication devices of my team, and the intercom system. "Armed support to the control station. Hostile animal. Two victims dead. Proceed with caution."

I searched around for a weapon, anything I could find. I tried to open a nearby weapon locker, but I didn't have a key.

The place was tidy. It seemed there was nothing else I could use.

I had just about given up, and was turning away to search the other rooms for tools, when I noticed a long gray rod jammed in the corner between the jail cell and the wall. I pulled it out, stared at it in bafflement for a moment.

I pointed the rod at my face, pushing buttons experimentally.

I nearly suffocated myself.

There was a slight jam at the end of the rod. When I, in frustration, turned it away from my face, it went off, and my chest and neck suddenly got cocooned in a sticky gray foam, a substance that dried and hardened like steel in seconds, caking onto my body in a way that I'd need special solvents to remove.

I was not unfamiliar with this device. I'd watched a few Abreya crime shows where they used this nonlethal weapon to apprehend criminals. In fact, recently on Zoincec, a male got arrested for using one of those things to suffocate someone. Needless to say, I knew how close to death I had come.

The rod still had ammunition. I hurried out of there, racing through the west garden, into the museum, and up the control room stairs.

The moment I reached the top, part of the wall exploded, and I had just a split second to prepare my nonlethal baton.

The thing came flying at me, a pale eyeless insectoid thing with a long tail.

I aimed the baton, thumb hovering over the release switch.

Before I could fire, something exploded behind the creature, and I saw the thing flash past my head.

Zero and Salda came running down, blasting around me with cube shaped weapons that could easily reduce a whole frozen turkey or a human being to pulp. I instinctively ducked, shielding myself with my arms, despite how useless that action would have been.

With a gurgling shriek, the insect creature dove through the glass window at the opposite end of the tunnel, escaping into the town beyond.

"Nice shootin', Tex," I muttered to Zero.

He smiled. "Thank you."

"I was being facetious."

The smile vanished. "Oh."

Pillow had been hiding behind the corner. When she saw the stuff caked all over my wigesh, she burst out laughing.

I frowned in annoyance.

She grinned. "Sorry. I needed that."

I held up the rod. "I was hoping we could trap the thing."

She took the device from me.

"At least the distress call worked."

She kissed me on the cheek. "It was a good try."

"Not that I'm complaining, but...what's that for?"

"For making me laugh." She sighed. "Poor Taimoorazi..."

"Whenever it's safe," Quana croaked as she came down the stairs. "Taimoorazi needs to be put in a bag until we can have a funeral."

The princess did that sad puppy dog noise again, like what my wife does during a sad movie. These were not just bodyguards, they were definitely friends.

Zero opened the door along the museum wall, the one that lead outside.

"You shouldn't do that," Quana said, wiping her eyes. "What if it comes back?"

Zero shook his head. "It can still come in through the hole."

"What about that thing?" Pillow asked. "It's out there in Bozvido now. The whole town could be in danger!"

"Somehow..." Zero said gruffly. "I doubt that's the only one we need to worry about."

"This might be a dumb question to ask," I said. "But if the controller guy is dead, how did we land?"

"He left the automatic systems online. It's fortunate we were the only ships making use of the port, or there would have been an accident."

The communicator in my skirt pocket suddenly played the Green Ranger tune. I pulled it out and saw Matt's face on the screen.

"You're not Quana!"

"I know," I said. "Was it the hair that gave it away?"

He smirked a little, but I could tell he was worried. "I got the distress message. What happened?"

I told him about the creature.

"Let me talk to him," Quana said in a half sob.

We traded communicators, and she told him about Taimoorazi.

"Oh honey," Matt said consolingly. "I'm so sorry."

"You should probably stay where you are. It's not safe."

"Safe!" Matt said. "My wife is out in harms way!"

"I have bodyguards."

"You mean like Taimoorazi?"

She winced.

"I'm sorry, but I'm worried."

"Wusudinka," Quana said. "No offense, but I'm the strong one in this relationship. What I need is for you to stay behind and watch our egg!"

"It feels like I've been warming this thing forever. My legs are falling asleep."

Quana giggled. "Just think about how healthy our baby will be because of it. And how much it pleases me."

"I feel so emasculated."

"You know you like it. My husband is very secure in his masculinity."

"True," he sighed. "Is it true you gave Dista the rite of Remvuaf?"

Dista was Quana's palace servant and best friend. The two had a fight a few years ago, which made it surprising the princess would choose her to replace herself in the event of an untimely death. I think Matt was what the fight had been about in the first place.

Quana nodded very slightly. "I know it sounds strange, but I trust her."

Matt laughed. "Trust?"

"Although not ideal as myself, in my absence, I think she would be a good mother to our child, and, dare I say it, a wife for my widow."

"It's widower, sweetie. I'm male." Then, after a saddened exhalation, "What possessed you to do such a thing? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"I've had nightmares, okay? It's nothing to worry about. People plan out their wills all the time, even when they're healthy and in no danger of dying."

"It sounds like there is a danger, Quana."

"Matt, I made that plan before I even came here."

"Dista," he groaned. "As if I wouldn't be miserable enough without you."

"We can't have you stepping over me to get to my replacement, can we? This is for me more than it is for you. I want to make peace with her, I want her to be happy, and, well, I thought maybe even you could learn to be happy with the arrangement. She was my best friend..."

Zero cleared his throat. "Geigy Quana, we must establish a battle plan before more of us die."

Quana kissed her communicator. "Keep the nest warm, my manly hen. Stretch your legs a little if you're getting numb..."

"I'll track your position, minute by minute, until you come back," Matt said.

"At least you'll have something to do. Hua chikalat."

"Hua chikalat jeko."

"Can we seal this up?" I said, pointing to the hole in the window.

"I don't see the point," said Zero. "It's glass. It's not built for having things smashing into it. It's amazing it even holds up to the occasional storms and sonic booms."

"What do you suggest?"

"We should get back on the ship and leave."

"It's only one creature," Quana said.

"That we know about."

"I'm not going to run from a single animal."

"She's right," Pillow said. "It's silly. Besides, we need to find geben."

I dreaded meeting with my in-law again, but I dreaded seeing his dead body even more. "I saw some tools and weapons in security, but I couldn't unlock the thing. Any suggestions?"

We didn't have the keys, as the guard was still missing, but Quana's crew had some cutting torches and lock cracking equipment. Soon my companions were armed with a variety of security tools, lethal and nonlethal, tools more effective, or, at least, more precise than those box weapons they carried.

One of the tools removed that gray cocooning glop, putting it back in the rod. Pillow used that tool to clean me up as we walked out of the building.

The village resembled a quarry in many respects. The majority of the town stood on flat table rock, cracked in numerous places, with wide stretches of orange lichen and swaths of carpet-like red moss. All around the borders of town, I could see the rock outcrops, signs that the smooth land we traversed had been extracted out of a rougher geology.

The air was thick with glowing dots. I swatted them away in annoyance. "There must be a lot of decaying matter somewhere, for all these gnats to be out."

"Those are Voahbacs, dear," Pillow said. "Aeroplankton. You saw them when we came in. Ordinarily, we have flocks of Daotves to eat them, but I hear there's been a dropoff of their species in this area. I think part of it has to do with the filters we place around the cave tunnels. They're catching more than Xaghubo."

One of Mr. Pulsa's wedding gifts to us was a container of Voahbac soup. Not my cup of tea. Their filtration systems were so advanced that they could extract the creatures for use as food. I guess it hadn't been advanced enough to keep out the larger creatures...or maybe those were supposed to add to the flavor.

At any rate, we weren't there to save the environment. I swatted more of the things away, brushed them out of my hair.

A little transparent golf ball of a creature buzzed up around my face, nibbling at my hair. I had to swat that thing away too. Zero had some sort of alien dust mask over his face. He took some spares out of a bag, passing them around, so we wouldn't get those zillions of those bugs in our nostrils and lungs.

Pillow's father worked at a research camp at the opposite end of town, so we had a walk ahead of us.

We saw nobody. At all. It was like a ghost town.

Our guards were vigilant, pointing their weapons at the slightest noise.

"They don't normally get visitors," Pillow said. "But it's never this quiet. Someone's always out, running errands."

We approached a Zutapga, a large colorful marble of a building. Zutapga is a multinational, multiplanetary chain store, as cheap, lowbrow and ubiquitous as Walmart, but of course, they're nothing like one. Tasteful interior decoration, high quality wigesh and other fashion items, with customization machines. Alien food, not a scrap of English language anywhere.

The only thing that made this Zutapga different from the ones set up in thousands of other small towns was the cavern ride, as advertised in Wava on one of the windows.

Tazordo, a sort of pub, stood a few yards behind it, away from us.

A few yards up from that stood a repair center, appliances, vehicles, occasionally spaceships, but that was a drive-to-the-site type of affair. The place looked like a rusty ball bearing stuck in rock, surrounded by a small junkyard. Behind this stood an equally rusty dome, which, Pillow informed me, contained Rulbama the fortune teller.

No movement anywhere. No life, save for the aeroplankton and the annoying little creatures trying to feed off the Voahbacs on my body.

A long crack indicated the end of one enormous plate of rock, and the start of a second, about an inch above it. Here stood another cluster of domes. A white-purple building that appeared to be a beauty salon and city hall, as evidenced by the statuary (giant alien birds), fountain, and ostentatious gold decoration.

"We should check in here," Quana said, pointing to the gilt entrance. "Someone's got to know something."

Zero frowned. "You're wasting your time. They would have answered my message by now."

Quana apparently didn't agree, for she marched through the ornately decorated sliding doors.

Abreyas like their government to be a `one stop shop.' This city hall contained a courthouse, a `county lock-up', and an actual prison (below the lock-up). You went to this building for vehicle permits, hunting permits, marriage licenses, agriculture permits, utility services, city elections, sanitation, building proposals, basically anything government.

At this particular time of night, many of the offices would be closed, but I expected to at least see some police patrolling the area. When we crossed the magnificent entry garden, we saw no one.

The statue that greeted us when we came in was of a large alien crustacean that looked like a body louse, a genital crab, in fact. It sounds ugly, but the way it was sculpted was actually beautiful. The biggest drawback of the place was the smell. It made me think of a waiting room in a vet's office. Dog must and disinfectant.

The left passage took us past the meeting rooms and courtrooms and lock up.

As we neared the police station, a male figure in a white-pink uniform shoved me into a wall.

The stranger, with deer's eyes and an ape-like nose, brought his face close to mine like he intended to kiss me. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong.

His mouth came open, and something like an enormous slug came crawling out of his mouth. It was so large that I wondered how he could even breathe with it in there. I thrashed against my assailant, attempting to break free, but to no avail.

I held my mouth shut tightly, screaming only with my eyes, but the slimy creature pried my lips apart, wiggling its way inside.

Zero raised a stun baton, jolting my attacker with a burst of paralyzing electricity. The stranger collapsed on the floor, writhing as the current traveled through his nervous system.

The current passed through me as well, since my attacker had been touching me at the time. I saw stars, and only noticed I'd been rescued when I noticed my head resting in Pillow's lap.

My eyes widened in horror as I stared back at my foe. I sat up quickly.

"What, no jokes about my crotch?" Pillow asked.

"Later," I muttered. "When I'm not scared shitless. That guy...he had something coming out of his mouth!"

Salda knelt next to the male, checking his pulse. "He's dead."

"What about that thing?" I asked.

The creature that had tried to enter my mouth now oozed across the floor, pointing its feelers in our direction.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"Go back to where you came from," the creature rasped.

"It talks!" Salda Jucey knelt in front of it, introducing herself. "Do you have a name?"

"Salda," it said.

"No no," she laughed. "That's my name."

"Yes."

Before Salda could defend herself, the creature launched itself at her gray face. She grabbed at its lumpy abdomen, attempting to pull it away, but her hands froze, as if arthritic.

She screamed through her nose as the creature burrowed its fat body deeper and deeper into her mouth.

Zero drew a knife, attempting to stab the beast, but Pillow grabbed his wrist. "We don't know the first thing about this creature. What if it releases venom?"

Zero's fist trembled as he clenched the weapon. "Then help me pull it out."

"You're right. There's still a chance we can remove this thing without it leaving body parts behind."

With anxious dread, I watched the two of them grabbing the creature. "Be careful."

The moment their hands touched it, Zero muttered, "My hands are numb."

"It secretes some sort of topical anesthetic," Pillow said.

Despite the numbness, they tugged on the creature some, but it fought against their grip.

All of a sudden, I something misted in their faces, and both of them let go suddenly, screaming as they clutched at their eyes.

"Pillow!"

I ran to my wife's side. "Pillow! How can I help?"

"What's the status on Salda?"

The creature had already crawled all the way inside. "It's too late."

"Look around for a medical station. Something with an eyewash kit. Get Norenio to help you."

We didn't bring our first aid kit with us. "You think your sight can be restored?"

"I...don't know."

"Babogatten woxna," Zero cursed as he rubbed his good eye.

With Norenio's help, I located a first aid kit with an eyewash device inside the police station. I caught myself admiring the female's figure a few times, but I felt bad about Pillow, so I mostly kept my eyes averted, to honor her wishes.

"You're cute," she told me as we were heading back. "But I do not understand why Pillow would choose to marry outside the species."

"Maybe because the person she married...can't stop thinking about her, and he's willing to make a total ass out of himself, just to be her man?"

She laughed. "You must have really made an ass of yourself."

Pillow whimpered as she rinsed, but then she was blinking her puffy eyes and sighing in relief a few minutes later. "That's better."

I offered the wash to Zero, but he raised his hand. "I'm fine. It was a harmless deterrent."

"Guep," Pillow agreed. "Like udolreg or pepper spray."

They turned their attention to the victim, who was now kneeling on the floor.

"Salda!" Zero cried. "Are you all right?"

Salda tilted her head quickly, like she didn't recognize him.

"Salda. Say something. Anything."

"I...am...all...right," she gurgled.

"She doesn't sound all right," I muttered.

Zero shook his head sadly.

"She's breathing," Pillow said. "That's a good sign."

"A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a miraculous sign," our friend replied. "But none shall be given it except the sign of Jonah."

We all stared at her.

"She is quoting scripture," Quana said. "That's something, isn't it?"

"I don't know whether to be relieved or dig out the holy water," I said.

Salda made a sound like an alligator, turning to stare at me.

"Are you in any pain, Salda?" Pillow asked.

Salda gave her a slow shake of her head.

"Well that's a relief."

"Are you able to resume your duties?" Quana said.

"She's got a giant slug in her body!" Zero shouted. "She's in no condition to do anything! We need to take her to the ship and surgically remove...whatever this is!"

Salda smiled at him. "I enjoyed the experience of kissing you."

Zero blushed orange. "I...did as well." He cleared his throat. "And I would enjoy it again, if we could get that creature out of your body!"

Salda stood up, fingering the weapon on the side of her waist. "Awaiting your orders, geigy Quana."

Quana sighed. "Salda, return to the ship with Pillow, and prepare for surgery."

"No."

I noticed a slight green tinge flush the princess's face. "What do you mean no! I am the princess, and you are my guard. I give you this order for your own health! Go back to the ship!"

"You are a deposed ruler," Salda said. "I do not recognize your authority in this matter."

Exasperated, Quana cried, "Salda, as a friend, I must insist. If you love me, you'll go with the doctor and get yourself treated!"

Salda paused a moment, then replied, "If you love me, you will leave me alone. I do not wish to go."

"Damn you," Quana sobbed. "What's the matter with you?"

Salda didn't reply.

Zero, in the meantime, I saw sneaking up behind her with a tranquilizer gun.

"Forgive me, my love oxibru," he muttered. "This is for your own good."

The moment he tightened his grip on the trigger, Salda threw him to the floor and kicked him.

"You're forgiven."

Chikarra pulled a box gun on her. "Go. Back. To. The. Ship."

In an eyeblink, Salda swept Chikarra's feet out from under him and punched him in the face. She always had been the toughest of Quana's guards.

"Come with me," she said to the princess. "I have something very interesting to show you."

Zero and Chikarra groaned and sat up.

"You're insane, Salda!" Zero yelled. "There's no way we're going anywhere with you!"

"Is this the same male who loved me enough to say he'd follow me to the very edge of death?"

"What evil spirit has overtaken you?" he said.

"We are Rojirus Jorakan. We mean you no harm."

"Tell that to the dead male on the floor!"

"His body was tired."

"And what happens when Salda gets `tired'?"

She didn't reply. She only marched ahead, down the hallway between `lockup' and the police station.

The hall ended in a security gate (Salda had the key), then a staircase leading down into a dungeon-like prison.

It was dark downstairs, the air filled with the smell of chemicals and rot. We followed in single file behind Zero, Chikarra and Norenio, then I and Pillow at the rear.

"Ponai de Chisda," Zero swore when he reached the foot of the stairs.

I looked around and shuddered violently. Pillow curled her tail around my body, pressing close.

There were dozens of Abreyas cocooned to the walls, hanging as though dead, eyes staring sightlessly at nothing.

Norenio and Chikarra turned their weapons on Salda.

"What is the meaning of this!" Chikarra yelled.

She only shrugged.

Before anyone could say anything more, I heard a gasping choking sound coming from one of the cocoons.

We rushed to the victim, who was caked in blood, pale and sickly looking.

"Bainep!" Norenio cried, trying to get an answer from this stranger.

The cocooned female let out a phlegmy shriek, and a creature exploded from her chest in a bloody spray.

Human soldiers shoot first, and ask questions later. Abreyas, well, they think differently.

"What is that?" Chikarra cried, weapon cautiously pointed that way.

"Greetings," Salda said to the bloody creature.

The monster wiggled its head, as if in response.

"Do you...understand me?" Zero asked.

The creature burrowed deeper into the body and disappeared.

"It's probably mad because you interrupted dinner," I joked. Pillow elbowed me.

"Well," Quana muttered with distaste. "Now we've seen our parasite."

"One of many," Salda said with a nasty smile.

"What can we do to contain these things?" Pillow asked. "I need to study this specimen."

"I'm sorry," the princess said. "We came here with the expectation of a simple hostage rescue situation, not a zoological survey."

"A shame. Imprisoning this thing may give us clues on how to stop the others."

Now, Abreyas maintain oral hygiene a little differently than humans. Their way is much more efficient because they use a special creature instead of a toothbrush and floss. They're like small dentists you put in your mouth, getting all the hard to reach places and filling your cavities.

Both Pillow and I have one of our own. Because Abreya tongues are differently shaped, I had to train mine to be careful around mine. I also had to get used to the flavor of its suds. The stuff tastes like soggy McDonald's french fries and ranch salad dressing. The creatures are kept in tanks, roughly the same size as the creature we found.

"How about a Wumpus container?" I asked. "You can use mine, if you want."

Pillow shrugged. "Fine, but if it runs away from you, you'd better find a way to catch it. If you want kisses, that is."

"I could always borrow yours."

"The last time you tried that, it started missing spots on my tongue."

"I have a toothbrush."

Pillow made a disgusted face. "Mint. Bleah!"

"Still, I'll be nice and fresh! I'll go back to the ship. Be just a minute."

I glanced nervously at the cocooned bodies. "Uh, Pillow? Maybe you should go somewhere safe, just until I get back."

She smiled at me. "What would I ever do without my brave husband to protect me?"

I paled. She was giving me that face like she intended to do what she wanted, regardless of what I said. "You're going to stay here, aren't you?"

"David, you worry too much. I can take care of myself!"

"Maybe we should pass on collecting this thing."

"No, no, honey, it's a great idea. And minty fresh breath reminds me of when we first met." She took a deep breath. "If you're really worried, just remember your math, and put five and five together." She folded her hands prayerfully, to demonstrate.

I rolled my eyes. "I have a feeling I'll be doing that a lot."

"Good. We're going to need all we can get."

I ran back the way I came.

Okay, so I got tired and slowed to a jog a few feet from the prison. I'm no athlete.

I jogged down the rocky shelf, inadvertently slipping on moss and skinning my knee along the way.

Zutapga lay up ahead, but when I got to the door, it wouldn't open. So much for buying an extra Wumpus.

When I turned to face the spaceport some distance away, I noticed a black shelled insectoid creature approaching me. The thing was eyeless, its mouth dripping with steaming saliva. The creature breathed heavily as it came near, distending its jaw in a threatening manner.

I slowly backed away from it.

All of a sudden, it whistled.

The thing hopped away a few feet, then turned its face back to me and whistled three notes, like a dog wanting to play fetch.

It seemed friendly enough, so I followed it, and it moved again, eagerly whistling and coaxing me onward.

We traveled in a semicircle away from the spaceport, towards the tavern.

Tazordo had the same rusty ball bearing look as the repair shop. Our path took us around the back of this structure, and through a field of red weeds that scratched my bare legs and made me wonder if I were going to get the alien equivalent of poison ivy.

As we came near the end of this field, the mouth of a cave came into view.

Woefully unprepared for any sort of spelunking, and lacking even a flashlight, I turned around to go back to the ship, but that's when I saw the weeds rustling all around me, and the creature's whole family encircled me, drooling in anticipation of fresh David steak.

I had just fallen for the oldest trick in the book. I not only felt afraid for me, I feared for my wife. Would she come after me and also end up as their prey?

"Look guys," I stammered as the things came closer. "I'm really not that tasty. I have hairy legs. I don't even have that much meat on my bones..."

The creatures, naturally, were not convinced.

I backed toward the cave, but, of course, the Whistler was there.

Whistler, I thought. That's good. A shame I won't live long enough to share the joke.

One of them pounced me, knocking me to the ground.

Being used to seeing unusual things, I fought back as hard as I could. I punched the thing in the face.

It hurt my fist, not only because it had a hard shell, but because scalding acid dripped on my hand.

The creature wasn't expecting a fight, so I actually managed to get away. At least, a foot away.

Not far enough, of course.

All of a sudden, I hear a low buzzing sound, kind of like a lawnmower, and a shadow fell upon me.

When I looked up, I saw another black bug body.

"Oh God!" I cried. "They can fly!"

I screamed as its glistening claws clamped down on my shoulders, forcefully yanking me into the air.