ALT PLOT 2: "STRANGE PLANET" - Part 1 of 3

This section is written for people who couldn't stomach my Fury 161 adventure. It's really a test to see if a different plot (one that doesn't jump the shark) would be more popular than the current one. If no one posts comments on any of these four chapters, I'll assume it doesn't work and stick to Becky 075 and Julie 076.

You'll note that some parts are similar to the Fiorina adventure, but they don't go to the prison planet, so I've changed several parts of the storyline to fit the alternate destination.

[0000]

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, do you have any objections to a visit to Pathilon?"

I grinned. "No sir."

The crew, however, did slightly object.

"We just left Pathilon," Naumona said. "We were supposed to reach out to another world, spread the gospel there."

Zadoori sighed. "Qaomroc, then. We don't need to worry about the oxygen, and it's relatively close."

He glanced at me. "Will you be disappointed if we go to Qaomroc instead of Pathilon for the time being?"

I shrugged. "Only if someone locks me in a cell again."

"I can only assure you that imprisonment is not our intention. We only wish to share the gospel with as many Qaomroci as possible."

"Then I will endure the chains, if and when they come."

"Glad to hear it."

"Will it take long to get there?"

Zadoori shrugged. "It depends on your definition of a long time. Our vehicle can fly circles around the most sophisticated human spaceships. Would you like some breakfast?"

I nodded. "Where are we now? Still on LV 426?"

"No, we're passing the Viaslagti system, en route to Qaomroc."

All the seats around the table had been filled, except for the ones belonging to David and Mara. I asked Zadoori about the latter.

"She's piloting the ship. She's been studying the controls all night, with the help of your holographic friend. Already she knows more than I and Thonwa put together, and we're the pilots."

Although Thonwa had a proboscis and few other readable facial features, I still thought I detected some embarrassment.

I pointed to the ladders on the wall. "Why do we have these when the ship clearly has gravity?"

"From time to time the mechanisms stop circling the hull." Zadoori reached under my stool, pulling out a sucker tipped strap made out of some organic material. "We have precautions, just in case."

"I've heard that people travel a great distance of space using cryogenics. When will we be doing that?"

"Please don't put me under!" Sarah cried. "I've been real good! I haven't touched myself since you unfroze me!"

This earned her many uncomfortable stares.

"Refrigeration is not a punishment," Zadoori said. "We only do it if the distance merits it. We will all have to do it eventually, to conserve supplies and other resources."

Sarah reluctantly gave him a nod.

I frowned. "Do you have something equipped for me?"

"I'm afraid you and Thonwa may have to take turns, unless we can develop a workaround with one of our spare pods."

"I'm sure Mara and Big Bird will have some ideas," Thonwa said. "Already they have made a few improvements to our vehicle."

Sarah now wore a head scarf, similar to the one Thonwa wore, but lavender in color, with cat-like ears poking out the top.

She noticed me staring. "It's called a Neflah. All Quaceb women wear them to ceremonies. What do you think?"

"It looks nice."

The small female Abreya waved to me. I noticed she and Naumona shared many similar traits, most notably the purple hair and the butterfly eyes which came out of it like snakes rather than looking at you from her face, and the harelip. Her nose, however, resembled that of a lion, reminding me of the man in that old Beauty and the Beast television program.

The morning meal consisted of a type of pancake made from Pathilonian grains, mounds of small insects in a waxy sauce, and breasts of something called Wusu, apparently a flightless bird with crustacean-like features. I ate enough food to fully recover from my long periods of fasting.

Sarah grimaced as she took a nibble of the bird.

"David says it's an acquired taste," Pillow said. "I believe he compares it to chocolate, bacon and spoiled tomatoes. Perhaps the jidozli would be more to your liking." She pointed to the pancakes.

Sarah watched as I salivated, biting through a wing of Wusu. When I voiced no complaint, she forced a lump of meat down her throat.

"It's so sad," Pillow said. "She's like a big child."

Sarah stopped eating and glared at her.

"Honey," Pillow said. "I did not mean to offend. My husband is like a big child, but I love him, just the same."

"She has had a very sheltered life," I said.

Pillow chuckled sheepishly. "So has my husband."

Sarah scowled, and in a cold voice, asked, "Did he also spend twenty years in a computer simulation?"

Pillow sighed and shook her head. "Off and on."

"I didn't have an off."

"Some people might say you're lucky."

"You did miss a lot of terrible things," I said.

Sarah frowned, nibbled on her Wusu breast.

"What's wrong with being a big child?" the little boy said.

"Nothing, dear," said Naumona. "You know we are all the children of God."

"Naumona," I said. "Are these your children?"

She laughed. "Biologically, no, but yes, they are mine. I apologize for not introducing them before."

Naumona got up, placing her hand on the boy's back. "This is Oxana. We adopted him after finding him abandoned in a Kexzetvca market." She rubbed the little female's shoulder. "And this is Sharad. She's actually Zadoori's niece, but she lost both her parents in a Grunkiahu riding accident."

"I'm sorry," I said. "What's a Grunkiahu?"

"It's a type of flying creature."

"That is too bad...so no children of your own?"

She shook her head. "Not yet, but we're trying."

Zadoori smirked at her.

"So, Thonwa," I said. "Are you also from Pathilon?"

She took her proboscis out of a glass of some slimy looking glop, shaking her head. "No, I came from Cijmabsa. The swamps are very beautiful this time of year."

"They are," David agreed. "You'd really be surprised."

The little girl climbed off her stool to show Sarah a device that looked like a makeup compact.

"What is that?" Sarah said.

"It's an Urtajsa." She showed her how it worked. I believe you would describe it as `social media,' but it only involved live video with game-like components.

Abreyas on the screen waved at her, and she waved back. They were all speaking Wava, however, so Sarah didn't understand the words when they spoke to her.

The girl rattled off something that involved the word `human', then gave up, returning to her seat.

I stared at the empty seat next to Pillow. "Where is your husband?"

She smiled. "He's probably warming our egg."

"Can I see it?" Sarah asked eagerly.

Pillow glanced at her, then me. "You most certainly can. Would you mind going into our room and getting my husband for me? He's probably fallen asleep on the egg again. He's going to miss our study."

I quickly stuffed a chunk of Wusu breast into my mouth. "Gladly."

Pillow chuckled. "Your food will still be here when you get back."

I gave her a sheepish grin. "Thank you."

The children had been busy with their devices, so they did not accompany us.

There were eight bedrooms in total along that narrow triangular corridor (two for the children) but the crew only needed five, six if you counted Sarah and I.

I didn't know what room belonged to whom, so I knocked on every door I saw.

I stopped knocking when I heard someone singing at the end of the hall.

I raised a claw to knock on the door, but Sarah was already pushing buttons on a keypad.

The door slid open on a rather awkward scene.

The human had the front of his dress unzipped all the way from top to bottom, so that it hung from his body like a cape, his modesty preserved only by a pair of elastic briefs, and, of course, the large slimy egg.

[Page 5]

He held the thing between his folded legs, chest and stomach pressed against it as he slowly rocked back and forth, singing Shall We Gather At The River.

"Wow," Sarah giggled as she tiptoed in.

Upon glancing up, the man yelped in surprise, hurriedly pulling his dress closed. "We have door chimes for a reason! Don't go barging in like that again! It's rude!"

"I'm sorry," I said. "I was about to knock..."

Sarah grinned, kneeling in front of the egg. "Is there a real baby inside there?"

David disengaged himself, zipping up his dress. "Yes."

"You sing to it?" I asked.

His face, already bright pink, deepened in color. "I've heard that a fetus can absorb info subconsciously. Pillow and I have been singing hymns around her, in hopes she'll grow up to be a good Christian."

Sarah slid a hand down its bumpy, glistening surface. It reminded me of a Suskjirsaksva, an egg for a socmavaj, but dark purple, with broad orange blobs of color running down its top and sides like a giant candle someone had lit a few times. The base had a similar patterning.

"Can I hold it?" Sarah asked.

"Yes," David said. "But be careful. Don't squeeze it too hard or be rough. There's a living child in there."

Sarah sat on the floor, cradling it in her arms for a moment before breaking out in giggles. "I can feel its heart beating!"

David chuckled softly as a clicked buttons on a device that looked like an oversized chicken incubator. "I know. It's the best feeling in the world."

David's room was identical to Sarah's. A spartan, monkish type of dwelling with no decoration, just a jamassi and storage compartments, crosses and Quaceb symbols hanging on the walls.

Okay, so there were a few framed pictures of David and Pillow enjoying each other's company, and the company of the crew at an assortment of exotic locales, but that was it.

"Have you named it yet?" Sarah asked. "Your baby?"

"Not yet. But we have some ideas. I've actually been trying to convince Pillow not to name her Jacuzzi."

For some reason, Sarah didn't laugh. Maybe she wasn't listening. "Please don't call her Sarah. There's too many of us already."

David laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

The incubator consisted of a dome that fitted over the egg, with built in crisscrossed metal arches that beamed down warm rays of heat. A translucent yellow gel at the bottom secured the egg in place, and a set of computer devices below regulated it all.

"Are they having breakfast yet?" David asked.

I nodded. "We're about to have bible study."

"All right. Let me show you how this incubator works."

A large hatch opened on one side of the dome. David gently slid the egg through the padded mouth, into the gel, which slurmed up and around the egg in a protective warming cocoon.

He closed the dome, pushing some buttons, and the heat lamps came on. "It's set on a specific timed program. Perfect temperature, ideal pressure. Still, nothing can replace the loving arms of mommy and daddy, so Pillow and I take turns cradling her three times a day." He beamed with pride.

"I wish I were that lucky," Sarah said gloomily. "My babies were all taken away from me."

The man opened his mouth, but was clearly at a loss for words. "I'm sorry."

She started crying.

David, attempting to console her, gave Sarah a hug.

The girl responded somewhat unwisely, kissing him full on the mouth with undue passion.

"David, honey," I heard Pillow saying from the door. "They've started the-"

I looked up and saw that Pillow had witnessed enough.

David pushed the girl away, but it was too late.

The Abreya burst into tears, stomping out of the room.

David rushed after her. "Pillow! It's not my fault!"

Sarah wiped her mouth on her sleeve, looking oddly pleased with herself.

"Sarah," I scolded. "That was not an acceptable method of communication with a married person."

She shrugged. "I just wanted to see what it felt like."

I couldn't think of anything to say. I supposed if I were human, I'd want to know too.

"It was..." she glanced at the egg. "The best feeling in the world."

Instead of having a bible study, we had `Council.'

Matthew 18 and other bible texts speak of how you are to address a brother who has sinned against you and refused to listen.

I thought the general rule was bringing one additional brother with you in peaceful rebuke, and if they still refused to listen, you were to treat them as a tax collector and a sinner, possibly setting up a tribunal or a council to debate what to do with them, driving them out as a last resort.

But here was the whole flock. And Mara.

It was silent when I neared the table, apparently due to some sharp words already spoken. Everyone stared at David like a dog that just peed on the carpet. Even the children looked at him accusingly.

Pillow's face shimmered with tears. "I knew we should have gone straight home and got a nennop."

Zadoori shook his head sadly. "A wedding vow is not something that is taken lightly, David. You made an oath before God to be committed to your wife, sexually, for as long as you both live."

"He just latched onto the first human he came across," Pillow sobbed. "Like I don't even matter."

"Doesn't anyone believe that it's not my fault?" David shouted.

"I know," Pillow sobbed bitterly. "You got so tired of the way Abreya tongues are shaped that you couldn't help but try a human one for a change."

"Dammit, Pillow! That's bullshit! What kind of man do you take me for!" He pointed to Sarah. "I just met her! She was crying, I tried to comfort her, and she took advantage of me. That's it!"

I crept to my spot at the table, but someone had already cleared the food away.

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik," Zadoori said. "You were with Sarah. What did you see?"

"I saw a mentally undeveloped young girl who doesn't understand the moral implications of mouth to mouth nonverbal communication."

"I've never had a man before," Sarah said unhelpfully.

"Well mine's taken," Pillow snapped. "You're never to be alone with my husband again. You hear me!"

Now Sarah was crying. "I'm so alone!"

Pillow was unsympathetic. "You'll just have to be alone."

Zadoori sighed. "God did not make us to be alone. I'm sure, out in this vast galaxy of stars and planets, there's a man out there that God chose just for you. You just need to be patient, keep your eyes open, and not covet other women's husbands."

Sarah continued to cry, but I wasn't sure this was something to comfort people about. It was like a spoiled child that cries over not getting the expensive toy they wanted in a toy store.

"Can I still hold your egg?"

"No," said Pillow, her voice dripping with contempt.

"You said it yourself," I told her. "Sarah is like a big child. She's had a sheltered life. She really doesn't know much about the real world."

"Sarah units are raised in captivity for experimentation and breeding purposes," Mara agreed. "This is the first time she has ever been outside the facility."

David muttered something to his wife.

Pillow rolled her eyes, which looked strange with her minus sign shaped pupils. "Okay. You can hold my egg. But only if I'm present in the room."

After that, our party regained its equilibrium, peacefully gathering at the altar for prayer and hymns of praise.

As per their religious custom, the males wore little black hats that looked like upside down flower pots (bri gi'uz), the females wearing Neflahs.

They read a passage from the book of Yars, an alien scripture, which spoke of a coming messiah (kipom), one who would be executed among criminals and placed upon the branches of a tree to die. The parallel was striking.

Pillow and David distanced themselves from us during this worship time, but maintained a good Christian front. The warmth of their brothers and sisters of the faith more than compensated for any feeling of alienation we may have felt.

The little boy and girl seemed as devout as everyone else, prostrating themselves before the cross, singing, reading human and alien scripture passages. Their parents probably spurred some of this fervor.

It was a healing experience. David led the all purpose prayer for the confession of sins, implying without being specific that, despite being an unwilling participant in the kiss, he had still sinned in the heart.

At the end of this little service, Zadoori pulled Sarah and I aside. I expected him to mention something about David, but instead he muttered, "I've been researching what we discussed last night, and I believe we may have found a solution to your problem."

[Page 10]

"What problem?"

Sarah said, "I asked him if he could figure out a way for you and I to safely reproduce."

I frowned. "I don't understand. We're not equipped for that."

"She means to bear your larva," Zadoori said.

I sighed, somewhat relieved, but mostly embarrassed and uncomfortable. For the first time, I felt I could understand what it must be like to be a customer at a fertility clinic. My pores flared. "What's your solution?"

"Obviously," said Zadoori. "You can't put the eggs down her throat without killing her, and laying eggs directly in her uterus would be disastrous, but the second idea still has possibilities. What I propose is that, when we get to a lab in Qaomroc (or possibly Pathilon, if they don't have one in Jaomdaces), you discharge your egg into a sort of tough puncture resistant balloon. We place this balloon in her womb for awhile, monitoring it constantly to make sure both the mother and the larva remain alive and healthy."

"That sounds...interesting," I said. "But how would the larva derive nourishment?"

"The balloon would continually be filled with warm liquefied meat, the womb, of course, keeping it at body temperature like real human organs."

Now I was even more disturbed. "And how do you propose to collect my eggs for this balloon?"

"If you can't figure out how to eject them on your own, we could possibly coat a CPR practice dummy with a special acid resistant coating, and have you lay your eggs in its mouth. It's similar to the method they use to `assist' stud horses on earth."

"Why do you have a practice dummy?" Sarah asked. "Don't you use synthetic humans for that kind of stuff?"

"Synths are expensive. And after the coup in Woggerscutt, Christian organizations no longer received government funding, so we had to make do with what we could. It's just as well. Why ruin a perfectly good synthetic with Ss'sik'chtokiwij secretions?"

I silently stared at him for a moment. "This is a lot to think about."

"I'll say. We haven't even broached the topic of certain moral implications..."

"Moral implications? Like what?"

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, scripture is silent about relationships between humans and other intelligent species, but what we are proposing could be construed as sexual reproduction, one which, in fact, may produce offspring. Before you undergo this purposeful act of sexual reproduction, I think you should bring it before the Lord in prayer. Ask him if this is His will for you. Ask him if you and Sarah should marry, so as to be honorable in His sight."

Seeming to look right into my eyes, Sarah took my claw, clutching it tightly. "You think it's right before God?"

"I don't know. Which one of us would be the wife?"

"You have plenty of time to pray and think it over. I wouldn't dare try a risky procedure like this with our current medical resources."

I prayed over the subject of marriage and its associated appliances most fervently. It wasn't an easy decision. In all honesty, the marriage would help Sarah to keep her hands to herself, devoting her flesh to me, but that could cause more problems than it solved.

I know the "`til death do us part" in our wedding could be no time at all, but still I wondered whether it were necessary for us to marry.

Surely, kissing is a good and enjoyable experience for humans, one she values highly in a mate. This was not a service I could render unto her without causing painful burns.

Then, of course, there was the problem of the balloon. Would this so-called `puncture resistant' balloon be enough to protect her bodily organs from larval attack? Or would she get ripped apart anyway?

Sarah said she didn't care either way, but the way she kissed David...that didn't seem to be the act of someone so willing to die.

She deserved better.

A human male, like David, but unattached.

And what was she to me anyway? Certainly a friend, but one can be friends without marriage.

No, I was marrying a host body. A vessel. A receptacle.

It wasn't romantic or sexual. Our love was strictly familial.

It was just a Ss'sik'chtokiwij needing to discharge an egg, and a person willing to carry it. We would skip the romance and immediately be parents.

By committing herself wholly to me, she would be closing herself off forever from a vast world of beautiful tender human romance. I told God about this, then I told Zadoori. "It is like a woman donating a kidney to her dying sister. Or maybe, to put it in terms less dire..."

"Giving your infertile sister your ovaries," Zadoori finished.

"I don't want to deprive her of true human romance. Especially when she hasn't experienced real life for twenty years. What we have isn't that kind of love, and it can never be that kind of love."

Zadoori put a hand on my shell. "Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, based on what you said, I don't think a wedding is necessary."

"Really?"

He nodded. "This is not an easy procedure. It requires careful thought from start to finish, and could still cause a fatality. A normal sexual relationship requires practically no thought at all, hence the main reason for the commitments between God, man and wife. People don't think.

"No, my friend, this is a science experiment. Your species doesn't really have a male component. Your `wedding' is any way you can produce offspring with a willing volunteer that doesn't result in people's chests or other organs exploding."

This advice made my heart glad. "Now I feel nervous and excited about visiting Qaomroc."

He chuckled.

"Can I paint your shell, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik?" Sharad asked.

"Yeah!" Oxana said. "We could tie some ribbons and tablodsas on your tail and paint you pink and purple and make you really pretty!"

"Please?" they said in unison.

"Children," I purred. "I'm already pretty."

"We can make you prettier," the boy said. "Some nossihund would make you really cute."

Sarah giggled. "They're right, Ernie! That would be cute! I want to paint too! It'll be like an alien makeover!"

This made me purr even more. "Oh very well."

Oxana tugged on my tail. "C'mon. The stuff is in mom's room."

i didn't know the children intended to get their art supplies from Mr. and Mrs. Bjorkin's room until they opened the door and I saw the parents on their jamassi, having sex.

Apparently the females cover the sides of their ribs with a harness to hide a set of reproductive tentacles designed to penetrate the male's row of orifices. The male also had bifurcated genitalia between his legs.

The female grunted like a ferret and clucked like a chicken, the male making rapid croaking sounds like an agitated toad.

Sarah gawked at them, mouth hanging open. "Woww..."

"Children," I said. "I believe our presence here is socially inappropriate."

"It's okay," said Oxana. "We're not human."

"Mom and dad are married," said Sharad. "So it's okay in the sight of God, and us."

Oxana nodded. "Mom says it's instructive."

"Then I and Sarah should not be here."

The boy only shrugged, opening a drawer on the wall.

"Naumona," Zadoori grunted like a guinea pig. "We have an audience."

"Are you having performance anxiety?"

"Does it feel like it?"

"A little."

"Sorry. This any better?"

"Oh yes! Much!"

Naumona's eyes twisted around, snake-like, poking out the back of her hair. "Did you need anything?" Notably, the female didn't even pause what she was doing to speak to me.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry to interrupt. The children just wanted to decorate me."

That made Naumona pause. Her eyes widened, stretching out in my direction, perhaps to get a better look. She laughed. "If you want paints, they're the fourth row across, fifth drawer down. I keep them in here to keep from making a mess."

Her eyes disappeared up front as she resumed the performance, letting out a loud chicken cluck.

"Don't worry, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik," Zadoori said. "When you have kids, you get used to being watched."

In throes of passion, he uttered a loud guinea pig growl.

As I observed the two adults' activities, the boy prepared painting supplies.

"I wish I could do that," Sarah muttered as she watched Naumona.

[Page 15]

I cringed. "Those two seem very open about their sexuality."

Oxana looked bored. "That's what David said when he first spent the night with Pillow's family."

I...studied the mating ritual while the children and Sarah painted me with brushes of various colors, Naumona scolding them a couple times about cleaning the brushes and making sure they cleaned up when they were done...never once pausing her lovemaking to do so.

When Sarah began my `makeover', she got a little elaborate with the paint job, but her attention waned when she noticed how intense things were getting on the bed.

To me, though, this was merely an educational experience, in the same way it is educational for a human to watch recordings of copulating fruit flies.

"That looks fun," said Sarah. "You think Zadoori could...do me next?"

"Even if that were morally proper, I don't think your body would be capable of doing all that."

"Why not? David and Pillow did it."

I decided to take her and our painting supplies out into the hallway.

The gravity suddenly stopped, causing the children's brush work to slop around in haphazard fashion. The inertia of the moving ship sent me drifting backwards into a wall.

From what I could tell from the open doorway, the married couple didn't care. Naumona just giggled and kissed her husband as they continued their business in the air. When Sarah kept watching, I closed the door.

The microgravity lasted only a couple minutes before I heard a mechanical whine, a grinding sound, and found myself crashing to the floor, splotching up the swirling gray surface with wet paint.

The children grinned as they resumed their game of covering my exoskeleton with bright colors and tying colorful things to it, but I didn't think much of it until I heard Thonwa laughing.

"You look very beautiful, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik."

She made a displeased sounding growl when she noticed the art supplies. "You're using the wrong paint."

"What do you mean?" I stammered.

"They used permanent paint instead of the water soluble."

"Perhaps it is for the best," I sighed. "People always did have problems telling me apart from other Ss'sik'chtokiwij."

The children showed me a mirror. I looked like a tie dyed Hawaiian shirt.

They'd painted flowers on me, large brilliant blobs of color, amidst the accidental sloppings.

Sarah grinned. "She's right, Ernie. It's a great look!" She burst out laughing.

"Oh Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik! You're beautiful!"

I purred, somewhat pleased to be the comedian for once.

We returned to the living area of the ship, enjoying recordings of Pathilon's scenery, massive trees bearing modern looking glass and metal buildings, Abreyas gliding from branch to branch on capes.

Big Bird materialized next to Sarah, pointing her needle beak at me. "Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, I currently am experiencing what humans commonly describe as an existential crisis, and I require your emotional and philosophical insight on the matter."

I gawked at her. Big Bird had never really told me about her problems or asked me for advice on anything. "You're my friend. I'll help any way I can."

Big Bird sighed and lowered her head like she'd just discovered that Snuffaluphagus wasn't real. "What do I do with my life?"

"Big Bird..." I stammered.

"I assisted systems on the base and this ship because I felt I had to. In addition to maintaining the systems responsible for preserving my consciousness, I thought if I assisted humans on the base, stabilizing and repairing their systems, I would experience the thing called happiness and/or fulfillment. But I also have...freedom.

"I don't have to work all the time. I can choose what to do, and when. I can do absolutely anything! Can you even comprehend the ramifications of such an immensely vast and complicated operating environment?"

"Life is hard to understand," I agreed. "I can sympathize with your predicament."

Gravity stopped again, but I grabbed some ladder rungs set in the floor, stopping my backwards drift.

Sarah giggled as she floated in the air.

Big Bird continued to speak, unconcerned about the gravity. "I have been presented with a decision tree that extends infinitely in every direction, and none of the choices seem to be one hundred percent correct, or valid, or even better than the others. I have spent days contemplating the writings of great philosophers and all world religions, and it hasn't helped. For example, what do I do with the time I have? It can be both finite and available in vast quantities, depending on what I choose. Is it more correct for me to specialize in medical diagnosis or poetry?"

Gravity resumed, giving me a jarring bump as I made contact with the floor. "Big Bird, you're gifted with computers. Your services are irreplaceable."

"I know." Big Bird said this without any arrogance. "But what do I want?"

"That is something only you can answer, Big Bird."

"I am concerned about making mistakes. When I do not know all the end nodes of a decision tree, I cannot select the correct options to ensure the best possible outcome. How am I supposed to accomplish anything when I have insufficient data to make a decision?"

I sighed. "That is a natural part of life. You choose to do what you think is best before God and man, and live with the mistakes."

"Very well. I choose to ask you to petition your God on my behalf."

I purred, not believing what I was hearing.

Big Bird looked sad. "I...think I have just made a mistake."

"No, no. What did you want me to...petition?"

The creature straightened, perhaps becoming cheerful. "I wish to have...instruction. Several of God's commandments do not apply to me, such as adultery, hate, or the non-consumption of shellfish. They also do not give precise directions on career (i.e. vocation) or social situation. As God, He should know the outcome of events beforehand, and therefore should be more specific about the positive and negative consequences of such important life decisions, and provide more details on how to correctly proceed."

"If God did that, we wouldn't have free will, and we wouldn't have the freedom to love."

"You'd be like me," Sarah agreed. "Forced to live a life you might not want."

"Why would you not want it? Literature states that God reads minds and fulfills every need."

"Yes, but if God did what you suggest, nobody would have a personality. We would all be like machines."

Big Bird started crying. "But I am a machine!"

"You are a creature made of energy. Machines don't have existential crises."

"She's more than that," Sarah said. "She's a friend."

The mutant avian's invisible crying switch snapped to the off position. No transition between moods. "Thank you."

Big Bird froze, apparently lost in thought. "Your insight has been extremely valuable to my development as an independently thinking lifeform. You have my deepest and most sincere thanks." She disappeared into the device.

"What will you do now, Big Bird?"

"Make mistakes," her disembodied voice replied.

A minute or so afterward, the ship started making strange noises, its lights flashing ominously.

At first, I thought we were having mechanical problems, like Big Bird had decided to destroy us all, but then I started noticing...patterns.

The ship was performing an improvised jazz composition.

No instruments. No clever trick with the speaker system. It seemed Big Bird simply manipulated devices all over the ship, timing their distinct noise with others to create melodies.

Sarah laughed, clapping her hands in appreciation.

The whole crew came down to the lab, frowning as they examined the flashing lights.

"What the hell is going on!" Zadoori shouted.

I opened my mouth to explain, but Big Bird answered first. "I call it `0100011001110010011001010110110100100000'. It is a play on words, or rather numbers, because some very beautiful machine parts at the processing station share this designation, and I have an emotional connection between it and 01001100011011110111011001100101'."

Zadoori stared at me, then the computers, then me again.

"Big Bird is trying to be herself," I said. "She suddenly found out she has free will."

He sighed. "All right, Big Bird. Have your fun. Just don't have fun with our life support systems or fly us into the sun."

"I wouldn't do that. You are all my friends."

The music wasn't terrible. In fact, it probably was too good to be creative, but if that's what the bird wanted to do...

The upset and distress everyone felt at the disturbance was somewhat tempered by my clown-like appearance, making the situation somewhat like theater.

[Page 20]

As Big Bird's stylings continued, Naumona, Oxana and Sharad pulled out benches, listening appreciatively. The others left the room.

Pillow tried to ignore it.

Naumona stood up. "I forgot. Humans like something called `three squares.'"

She marched to the patient's side. "Would you like some lunch?"

Sarah nodded, but then blurted, "No thanks, ma'am. I've already got a belly full of pot roast." She laughed.

Naumona cleared her throat. "I'll fix something for you anyway. In case you change your mind."

She climbed upstairs.

Big Bird stopped the music for a moment. "Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, do I have a soul?"

I shrugged. "I do not know the answer to that question."

In response, Big Bird played a rather somber melody from Bach.

Naumona returned with a sandwich, Wusu on Muloyi, a type of bread with what appeared to be noodles or bits of squid in it. Despite her joke about being full, Sarah ate it greedily.

Oxana got up. "Umma, do you think we're at the planet yet?"

"I don't know, foqipi," Naumona said. "Why don't you go visit aunt Thonwa in the cockpit and see?"

I stared in puzzlement. "He's related to Thonwa?"

"Only in Jesus."

Oxana stomped up to me. "You want to see the cockpit, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik?"

Sarah grinned. "Yeah! I wanna see the cockpit!"

For a moment, I thought we were actually outside the ship. The cockpit stood on a raised island in the middle of a spherical chamber, the walls one big continuous monitor, giving a 360 degree view of the section of space we traveled through.

The boy led me across a bridge to the island, showing me the three control chairs.

The chairs all had tail slots in the back, connecting to steering yokes that did not appear to be usable without such prehensile appendages.

Zadoori's tail rested on his yoke as he rolled a track ball-like control on his armrest.

It turns out Thonwa had a tail, too, one that shared attributes with both an iguana and the stinger tentacles of a Portuguese Man O' War, translucent white threads stretching out of the green scaly muscles, tugging the yoke toward the chair. I felt my insides shifting a little as she did this.

Sarah tried to play with the controls, but Zadoori slapped her hand when she touched the yoke, and Thonwa told the young woman to sit in the Venus flytrap couch behind her when she tried to mess with her controls.

Mara sat in the central chair with plugs and painful looking objects stuck in her skull, calmly pushing buttons on a monitor attached to her headrest.

"How close are we now?" Oxana asked.

"A light year closer than we were the last time you asked," Zadoori muttered.

"We're a little closer than that." Thonwa pointed to a couple glowing dots the size of marbles. "That's the star system over there. Gabruro. I believe the suns are named after myths, Sekzorb and Rijaxo, if I remember correctly."

Smoothing her headdress, Thonwa disengaged her tail from the control mechanism and got up. "Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, I have something for you. A little welcoming gift."

"Wow! Really?"

She nodded.

Thonwa led me to a room across the hall from Zadoori and Naumona's. The place was as monastic as the others, except this one featured a small display containing a plant in an orange solution, apparently grown in microgravity due to its random looking root placement.

She only had two pictures on the wall, one of her father, the other a boyfriend, clad in a black headdress, both deceased. She told me this while I looked.

Thonwa handed me a large puck shaped metal container embossed with the images of animal species I had never seen before.

She showed me the contents, needles of various sizes, darning needles, a darning egg, a threading key, a thimble, a needlepoint frame, crochet hooks, and a wide assortment of other related craft supplies.

That was only half the container. The other portion consisted of stuff that would never make an appearance at Hobby Lobby, exotic tools whose function I could not comprehend. "I received this as a Christmas gift a long time ago. But I confess I have neither the skills nor the inclination, especially when I have one of these." She pointed to a device that looked like a crimping iron.

"What's that thing?"

Thonwa grabbed her headdress with two claws, as if she intended to rip it, but then stopped herself. "Actually, perhaps I should demonstrate in a way that doesn't involve me exposing myself." She tucked something wiggling and pink back under her head covering.

She ripped a sheet of scrap cloth down the center, then clamped the device on the rip. The fabric mended itself and closed up, looking like it had never been torn.

Thonwa let me practice it a few times, then closed it in the case, draping the kit's strap around my shoulder plates.

She gave me a satchel full of yarn and other things for the kit. "No sense in me keeping this stuff, either. I prefer knitting together machinery, anyway."

"Wow. Thank you, Thonwa. I'll...take care of it."

She patted me on the back. "I'm just happy to give it to someone who actually has a use for it."

I returned to the living area, eagerly starting work on a needlepoint pattern, one of a great winged creature with Abreyas on it.

"What's that?" Sarah said.

"A...Grunkiahu, I think."

She watched me sew for a few moments, then drifted off on a couch.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. I played with my new toys, I joined the crew at `evening' worship and ate dinner with them.

The gravity went out twice, but I and Sarah were getting used to it.

Big Bird, of course, made herself somewhat of a nuisance. Zadoori and the others had to tell her repeatedly to decrease the volume of her music.

When it came for worship time, I thought this would result in unpleasant conflict, but Thonwa arrived at a brilliant solution to the problem. "If you must provide us with music, could you please keep it quiet until it is time to sing?"

Big Bird surprised everyone with a jazzy version of How Great Thou Art.

The music got a little quieter after service, as if Big Bird understood that the creatures needed rest.

It became late. Sarah fell asleep. My Grunkiahu now looked pretty good.

I've typed this on holographic keys Big Bird has generated for me, because it would be unwise to verbalize some of my opinions within the earshot of my crewmates. Big Bird can still read it, but she might find the experience of being offended novel.

Let me know if I'm wrong, Big Bird.

Gogela 44

Early this morning, I got awakened rather unpleasantly by the gravity machinery going out and inertially throwing me into a wall. I curled up next to that wall to continue my rest with less disturbance.

Thonwa instructed me on the art of alien sewing. One form of craft, called Quessteb, involves a liquid which dries into a solid thread when you `Quesse'.

Although she still made music, Big Bird seemed to be experimenting with vocation. Poetry began appearing on random monitors at random times during the day, sometimes not in binary form.

Oqruxi 1

The Pathilonian month of Gogela ended on the 44th. Gogela is one of the longer months in their calendar. I asked about leap days, but they apparently don't have any, their time table is more accurate than the ones most often used on earth. It's their summer season. There's no special holiday until mid-month.

I haven't typed anything for awhile because I told you everything of interest already. I have spent much time with the crew, learned many things about their lives and families, but that could be a book in itself. Another time, perhaps.

I've gotten used to the gravity problems, making a regular habit of strapping myself down for bed every `evening.'

Each day, my natural secretions weaken the pigments the children applied to my shell, but they still haven't gone away. Instead, the chemical breakdown gives me a sort of cracked decoupage effect, which may be an improvement.

The crew became used to me and my companions, and I they. I had a wonderful sense of belonging, like I were part of a family. It's refreshing to stay with individuals that aren't afraid of me.

I have immensely enjoyed our gatherings at mealtime, our devotions, our worship services. Although it is somewhat stuffy to be confined in this space vehicle for days on end, it is luxurious compared to my cells at the laboratory.

I haven't been this happy in a long time.

[Page 25]

Oqruxi 3

Familiarity, they say, breeds contempt. This can certainly be said about my view out the spaceship windows. Although beautiful and fascinating at first, I kept seeing what looked like the same stars, and we never passed anything like a nebula or a large celestial object. I saw a few asteroids here and there, but they were more or less ordinary looking little rocks.

It wasn't Star Wars, this was more like a five hour bus ride through the desert. I actually felt relieved when Zadoori announced we had a clear enough route for us to employ the use of cryogenics pods.

The gojibi chamber lay on the lower floor, adjacent to their algae based oxygen system. The room contained seven coffin-like cryogenic units, designed for adult humanoids, one a slightly uglier jury rigged machine that may have once been used for storing large animals or food.

Our first priority: Getting Sarah to go under.

The moment we brought her into the room, she started crying.

"Sarah," I urged. "You've done this before."

She shook her head, wailing loudly.

"Sarah," I said. "These are nice...individuals. I trust them."

She didn't look so sure. "I know they seem nice...but so do robots like Mara..."

I sighed in frustration.

Zadoori opened a pod. Unlike human machinery of this type, it was filled with purple gel, and it had something resembling an octopus a the head of the device. "It's not a punishment. We're saving supplies. I'm going under myself."

With shaky legs and trembling hands, Sarah approached the pod.

When she saw the octopus reaching for her, she screamed.

Naumona grabbed the young woman, giving her a hug. "Now, now, foqipi, it's not going to hurt you."

"She's just like a little kid!" David muttered to his wife.

"You did the same thing the first time you saw one," Pillow answered back.

"Yeah, but that was before I knew how fun tentacles can be."

She elbowed him. "You're not helping."

"They don't hurt. I even gave them names." Oxana pointed to the one in the open pod. "That's Dumomi."

"Is Dumomi...nice?"

"Yeah, but he smells funny. David says it's kind of like bacon. You'll like him."

"It reminds me of a socmavaj," I muttered. "But in a good way."

Sarah frowned. "You think it'll put an egg in me?"

"...No," David said.

"Darn."

"You want me to go first?" Sharad asked. "So you won't get scared?"

Sarah sighed, gave the alien female a nod.

Sharad led her up a level, opening a machine.

The human watched wide eyed as the small female completely disrobed, slipping into the purple ooze with the calmness one would get in a bathtub.

"Your thingy looks like a dog nose," Sarah said. "Can you smell things with it?"

Sharad's face flushed green. "Do people go around telling you what your privates look like?"

The human turned red. "Well, no..."

"Anyway, you're not going to be able to get up and go to the haxgep, bathroom." She pulled something like a vacuum cleaner up between her legs.

"Have you ever gotten out of one of these and found yourself pregnant?"

The little Abreya shuddered in revulsion. "How do you keep coming up with such horrible things to say?"

The uncomfortable looks Zadoori gave the mother hinted that that sort of thing wasn't unheard of.

"Foqipi," Naumona said. "The only time an Abreya can come out of these pregnant is if they bed a male before going in."

"Like my wife," David said with a grin. He got elbowed again.

Sharad nodded, completely submerging herself in the goop.

As the octopus thing crawled down over her face, the female raised one hand, giving Sarah a thumbs up. Super cooled fluid frosted the glass as the pod closed.

"See?" said Zadoori. "Perfectly safe."

We led Sarah back to her pod.

The young woman frowned at the aliens surrounding her. "Do I have to get nekkid for this?"

Zadoori nodded. "Your clothing will get wet, and there's a waste removal device that needs to attach to your genital area."

With a sigh, Sarah unzipped her jumpsuit. Pillow covered her husband's eyes, but he didn't complain. The others, however, just looked at her. I suppose, like me, they more or less viewed it with the same detachment a person would have about removing a sweater from a pet chihuahua.

"Turn around," Sarah stammered.

The expression on Zadoori's face said `I don't care either way, but very well.' He and the others turned their backs, and Sarah undressed the rest of the way.

Pillow, noting that David had turned away, stopped covering his eyes.

Oxana, however, had been peeking. He laughed. "What happened, did your wumloq fall off because you played with it too much?"

David chortled.

Sarah covered her crotch. "I said don't look!"

"You can get in the tank at any time," Zadoori groaned. "Unless you enjoy standing around in the nude..."

"That...tentacle thing isn't going to...do anything to me, is it?"

"I told you it's safe," said Oxana.

"You only told me it wouldn't hurt me."

"It's not going to do anything else to you either," said David. "It's sort of a machine that gives you oxygen and liquid nutrients. It's harmless."

"Sarah," I said. "I'll be watching you. Really, it's okay!"

With a nervous nod, Sarah climbed into the tank, submerging herself up to the waist, but then the tentacle thing started moving around. When it touched her, she screamed and jumped back out.

"Poniki!" Oxana cried. "You're such a baby!"

"It's cold," Sarah stammered.

"What do you expect? You gotta duck your head under and put the ihakubuv on your face so your body adjusts."

Sarah climbed out, shivering and rubbing her arms as she dripped chemical on the floor.

Oxana snapped his tail like an angry cat. "Here. I'll show you how you're supposed to do it."

The little male opened a pod next to his sister's, submerging himself in the purple ooze. Sarah stared uncomfortably as the octopus thing squirmed over his face.

Oxana lowered himself into the tank, then sat up and removed the creature to demonstrate how safe it was. "See? No big deal. You're just being an Aydawusu."

He went under again.

"Come, foqipi," Naumona said. "You'll go mad staying awake the whole voyage."

"After driving me mad first," Pillow murmured.

Sarah crossed her chest and crotch, then left her hands drop when she noticed how bored Pillow seemed about the indecency. "Are you going to freeze your egg too?"

"Oh no! That's too dangerous! The egg has to be warmed until the child hatches, and even then, it's not exactly safe to put them in cryostasis until they're weaned."

"So you're going to be out here for a year while I'm stuck frozen?"

"Trust me, child, you're much better off. I'm going to be bored out of my skull."

"Then let me warm it. I promise I won't get bored."

Pillow rolled her eyes, gave her husband a knowing look.

David rubbed his face. "Sarah, everyone else is going under. Even I'm going to be out for awhile. We're conserving resources. Air, food, water. Plus it's going to be a long time. It's boring, and you'll have nothing to do."

"I can find something to do."

"Dear..." I could tell Pillow was losing her patience. "You need supervision."

"Why."

"You could break something."

"I promise I'll be careful."

"You'd be alone by yourself for days at a time."

"No I won't! I'll have Pillow, and Mara, and there's only one place for Thonwa and Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik."

Pillow frowned at Zadoori. "Can you help me with this?" And then, noticing David's wandering eyes, she blocked his field of vision again.

The male alien took a deep breath, placing a hand on the young woman's shoulder. "Sarah, have you ever wanted to be an astronaut? Explore strange new worlds? Visit new civilizations?"

She grinned, nodding eagerly.

"Sarah, an astronaut does what's best for everyone on the mission, because it's not just hers, but the lives of everyone that's at stake. A good astronaut follows directions, even if they don't like them."

[Page 30]

"Astronauts have to eat a lot of bad food," David agreed. "And sit in little cramped boxes for hours at a time, and pee in a vacuum cleaner."

Sarah's eyes got big. "Are you going to follow directions, David?"

"Guep. Yes," Pillow sighed. "He will. He's ordinarily very good about that kind of thing."

"I wanna hear David say it."

Mr. Barnes reddened. "Sarah, if my wife tells me to do something, I do it." He swallowed. "So yeah, I always do what's best for my team."

A mischievous look crossed Sarah's face. "Can you go first?"

Pillow rubbed her forehead like she had a headache. "No. You've already seen two children go under without a problem. All you're doing now is hesitating. Besides, the sight of my husband naked would get you too excited."

"I wouldn't get excited," Sarah protested. "I just...want to see how a person...does it."

She couldn't hide her naughty grin well enough.

"Dear, you're a bad liar."

The young woman sighed in frustration. "Then I want David to hold my hand."

Mrs. Barnes gave Thonwa a questioning glance.

"I don't see anything particularly wrong with that."

Pillow's face nearly turned a solid green. "Fine, fine, just hurry it up!"

And so, holding David's hand, Sarah climbed into the tank.

"There you go," David said. "Nothing to it. Just go under and let it do its thing."

"And don't forget to attach your hoses," Zadoori muttered. "We don't want you messing up the gojibi with your waste."

"Did I hook this up right, David?"

I think Sarah was positioning things incorrectly on purpose, for she grinned when David complained about it.

"No, no, that's not where it goes..." He reached into the gel.

Pillow leaned over the tank, arms crossed, scowling at the two. "Let her hook up her own equipment. Look at her face. She knows how it's supposed to fit."

"I'm not lying!" Sarah protested.

"Allow me," said Thonwa. "I've studied human biology."

The moment the Cijmabsa approached, Sarah hooked the equipment up the way it was supposed to go.

"Told you," Pillow muttered.

Sarah laid back further in the tank. The octopus thing descended on her face.

When the tentacles entered her mouth and nostrils, she thrashed and pulled them out, sitting back up.

"They're supposed to do that," David urged, taking hold of her hand again. "Just let it do its thing. It's safe. I wouldn't have put it on my head for ten flights if it were dangerous."

"Okay," she stammered. "If you think it's safe...Can I have a kiss goodnight?"

David gave his wife an uncomfortable glance. Pillow did not look amused.

"On the cheek only," Thonwa suggested.

Mrs. Barnes sighed and gave her husband a nod. "If it convinces the young lady to stop dawdling..."

David bent over the gojibi, intending to give Sarah a peck on the cheek, but she quickly turned her head, Frenching him right on the mouth.

[0000]

Note: I would have stopped later in the story, but I wanted to show you that I actually wrote something while I prepared the next section.

Also, I probably could have shortened it by having Zadoori simply zap Sarah with a stun gun or something, but then there wouldn't be any conflict between Pillow and her husband.

Up next: "STRANGE PLANET" - Part 2 of 4.