He seated himself in a plant chair, with a sigh. The organic component oozed around his body in slightly invasive ways. I made my choice. Now I'll have to deal with it.
Quana leaned over a spongy leaf. "Are you upset?"
"Sorta. Not really. This will probably ruin my future career, but I'm still excited about this trip."
She shrugged. "Sorry. Anyway, we'll be taking off soon. Would you like to join me in the cockpit?"
"Um..."
"What?"
"You're going to laugh."
"What? What is it?"
Matt reddened. "I'm afraid of heights."
"Afraid? Of heights?" She giggled. "I already knew that. Micha Wusu."
"See? Told you."
"And you didn't think of that before?"
"Actually, I did, it's just...I thought that...I dunno, that I could somehow get beamed aboard a mothership and not have to deal with heights."
"I hate to say it, but you'll just have to get used to it," she chuckled. "If it's too scary for you, you can always stay in this room and belt yourself into a Rujodale or sofa, if it's too scary, that is."
Matt furrowed his brow. "Wait. At the amusement park, you said it was astronaut training! You had this planned all along!"
"No!" she stammered. "It's not like that! You think I'd intentionally get drunk and show you everything?"
He sighed through his nostrils.
"To be fair, you did mention wanting to be an astronaut when we ate lunch a few days ago. I thought I'd help you along, that's all. Not like this, of course." Quana shook her head. "Have you ever been on an airplane?"
"I try to avoid them. Let's just say they put me in a prayerful mood."
"My ship is very safe, but that's actually a good idea."
They prayed.
Her eyes opened. "You want to stay in this room, then?"
Matt stood up. "I guess I'd be missing out if I did."
She cocked her head toward a hatchway. "C'mon, then."
The alien led him to a spherical room with blank white walls, crossing a bridge to a raised platform occupied by an inverted Y formation of black chairs. The chairs all had tail slots, with computers attached to their headrests.
The front seats appeared to be command chairs, with video game track ball-like controls on the armrests, airplane-like steering devices awkwardly positioned behind the seats.
At the rear, near the entry hatch, lay another sofa, a Venus flytrap spliced with furniture.
Quana gestured to a front chair. "Have a seat."
Matt fumbled around for a safety belt, but only found tentacle things coated in a sort of sticky epoxy that proved to be a challenge to undo once it got stuck to another tentacle.
After Matt spent a whole minute trying to tie them together, Quana snatched the restraints from his hands. "It goes like this..." She folded the tentacles across his body so that the suckers on the undersides of the tentacles touched one another. The tentacles bonded together, forming a sticky outer skin as they constricted like a snake, stopping just short of choking the air out of him.
The tentacles stretched out to a comfortable level, and Quana attached more, forming a harness around him.
"What if I need to get out and use the restroom?"
"There's a lever on the side of the chair. Just pull it and they will release."
Quana slipped into to the chair across from him, feeding her tail through the back as she strapped herself in. The airplane-like steering device looked perfect for a tail to control.
She pushed a button, and the walls seemed to vanish, revealing an open view of the swimming pool outside. It made Matt giddy, and they hadn't even left the ground yet.
A rush of cool air made Matt think that the walls had actually disappeared. "Are we outside?"
"No," Quana laughed. "This is just a camera view of the exterior...and air conditioning."
"Is it...possible to shut off the screen while you're flying?"
"I'd prefer if we didn't. I have to see what's going on outside the ship." She gave him an apologetic smile. "But if you're really uncomfortable about it, you can try looking at the floor or go in the other room."
Matt glanced down at the opaque platform. "Right."
Quana put her glasses away, placed a pair of nickel sized silver disks her temples.
Matt laughed. "What are you doing?"
She put her hair up in pigtails. "Preparing for space flight."
"What are those, magic coins?"
"They're Pabizol. They help me to see better." She slapped the control on her right armrest, rolled the track ball forward, and the ship noiselessly lifted off the ground, the pool and pool gutters dropping away beneath them.
A giddy sensation rose in Matt's stomach as he watched the ship climb above the house, hovering above the trees and telephone poles. "What if someone sees us?"
"That's what the Bariafu device is for."
Matt blinked. "The thing that made the fake water in the pool?"
"Yes. It makes us invisible and immune to radar. Want to hear some Abreya music?"
"Sure."
Quana pushed a button and a tuneless jumble of noise filled the room.
She wrapped her tail around the steering yoke, twisting it as she pushed it backward. The vehicle rose three stories in the air, horizon tilting at an angle as the ship sped silently over the treetops, then a traffic congested interstate.
A sparrow intersected with their path, hitting the viewer with a wet thump.
"Oops!" Quana shifted the vehicle in a horizontal direction as a purple gel washed the bird off the viewer.
Matt stared nervously at trees as the ship passed high above a street, wondering if they could break his fall.
Quana gave the right track ball a slow roll, and they shot forward over corn fields and open pastures filled with tiny cows and horses.
The ship rose to a skyscraper's height, trees taking on the appearance of model train set decorations. Matt shrank in his chair, whispering prayers to himself. He focused his eyes on the cluster of non-English diagrams dancing across his headrest monitor.
Blocky factories and tiny houses set in green squares flashed beneath them. They passed a Huey helicopter, flying over a tightly compacted mass of streets, office buildings and homes, pausing to hover above his school.
"Hey look!"
The campus looked like a miniature doll house from their vantage point. "Wow. Stopping anywhere else? The Grand Canyon? Australia? London?"
Quana shook her head. "We really ought to leave or it'll take longer for us to get back. But I can buzz by The Missouri real quick if you want."
Matt nodded.
They passed over gray factory buildings billowing clouds of white smoke, then casinos. A green brown snake of a river rolled beneath them. They buzzed along the meandering ribbon, whipped by the suspension bridges.
Quana rolled her hand across the right track ball and the view skewed upwards, the ship soundlessly ascending into a foggy cloud bank.
For a moment, they had zero visibility, and a 3D map took over the screen. Quana shoved back on the yoke with her tail, and sudden G-forces plastered Matt to his seat.
When the fog cleared, Matt found himself looking at a hilly fluffy landscape of cumulus clouds.
Relieved at seeing nothing but bright puffy cloud mountains and castles of vaporous fluff instead of the ground, Matt relaxed somewhat.
Noiselessly they climbed, tilting further upwards until they looked at the sun, blindingly bright and massive in the daytime sky, then shot high enough for them to see the moon and the stars in broad daylight.
The sensation of lead weights pressing against Matt's body as they zoomed out into the starry blackness.
As they flew higher, the weight on Matt's head and chest lessened. He drifted an inch above his seat, floating up against the harness, the back of the seat bumping up against him. The tentacles responded by tightening, pulling him back in place.
He stared at sparkling constellations in amazement, then watched in awe as a huge gray-white object, pitted with craters, loomed above them, glowing in the light of the sun.
Matt glanced over his shoulder at the massive blue-green wall behind him, then quickly turned his head with a shudder. One bad engine and they'd have a nasty thousand plus foot drop to the ground. He returned his attention to the wall of giant craters before him. "Can we take a walk on the moon?"
Quana shrugged. "I do have space suits, if you want to drop by on the way back. Of course, it will further delay you."
"Ummm, that's okay."
The ship zoomed onwards.
"So, Quana," Matt muttered as the moon shrank from view. "Tell me more about your planet."
"About? Like what?"
"Like...what's the government like? Do you have rights like freedom of speech, freedom of religion, that kind of thing?"
"It's pretty much the same. There's some differences, but basically a democracy. I can show you some programs about it if you're interested."
The moon and Earth shrank smaller and smaller, becoming mere pinpricks in the dark. Ahead lay nothing but an unchanging pattern of white dots suspended in inky blackness, scattered with a random colored dot here and there. Matt turned his attention to the pilot. "I'm guessing I'll be seeing a lot of your temples or whatever when I'm there. Is there anything I should be warned about?"
"Well...I guess it's okay if you don't bow in...but you have to remove your shoes...and outsiders aren't allowed to sing the sacred songs."
"No problem," he laughed. "I somehow don't think they'll be catchy enough for me to do that."
"You'll also have to wear a Gi'uz."
"A what?"
"I'll show you." Quana activated the autopilot, climbing out of her chair.
She shoved off the armrest, floated across the room, grabbed a handhold attached to a wall monitor. "C'mon." She shoved off, drifting through the air to the hatch.
Matt fidgeted with his harness. "How am I supposed to get out of this thing again?"
Sighing, Quana drifted over and flipped his harness latch, loosening the tentacles.
He floated out of his seat, drifting toward the ceiling. After spending a few minutes snatching air, rolling and flipping uselessly around, he collided with the roof monitors near the entrance.
With feet dangling over her head, Quana climbed across to him on handlebars, anchored her tail on a bar, and pulled him down. "It takes some getting used to." She dragged him out the hatch.
"Don't you have inertial dampeners or antigravity or something?"
Quana laughed. "And how do you make that stuff?"
Matt chuckled and shook his head.
Using railings and footholds on the walls, they made their way to a small bedroom with walls covered in science fiction posters.
He stared at the pictures in fascination. "Nice!"
Quana brought out a ribbed black flower pot thing, strapping to her head. "This is a Gi'uz. In our temple, the Vanseb, we must pray with our heads covered. Some sects believe you should even wear one whenever you're within eight miles of the Vanseb."
"It kinda looks like one of those DEVO hats."
"What's DEVO?"
Matt explained the band.
She chuckled. "That's funny."
"I guess I'll have to get one of those...Guyers things."
"They always have spares." Quana took off the Gi'uz, donning a cloth hood with cat ears attached to it. "This is what the females wear. It's called a Neflah."
"So how do you pray in space?"
"Like this." She folded her hands in her usual quirky way. "Umua Ponai coz ruhd baueco narun kai tocedopu kai sotukobe ge'l kolapibu con hua. Guki ge'l nuxua jujago aiju con chik. Nuxik knoli boqadi gurabo feut Jesus hib ha yok hib zaib ponai coz gebupega. Andere."
"What did you just pray for?"
"For Ponai to bless and guide us in our quest for the truth." She took off her hood. "We generally pray towards the Vanseb in Kwibron, but it's different in space. Some have a special compass to make sure they pray the right way, but scholars disagree about which star to point it towards."
Matt just stared, trying to make sense of the information.
"I think we're nearing your solar system's asteroid belt now. Might be an interesting view."
They returned to the console room. Matt only saw a couple large rocks. "Oh wow," he groaned.
Quana climbed into the control chair, pushing buttons on the console. "Yeah, not as dangerous or exciting as Star Wars. They're miles apart. Safe, unless I do something really stupid..."
Matt took the seat across from her. "Please don't tell me you did something stupid."
"No..." She frowned at the monitor. "We'll have to fly over one of them, but it will be a cake."
"A piece of cake?"
"Hopefully the whole thing."
Their tour through the asteroid field went off without a hitch. They only happened to detour once or twice to fly around a building sized rock. Afterwards, they saw nothing but a bunch of seemingly identical stars, not much of anything of interest, save for a few random asteroids.
"Quana, how did you learn to speak English so well?"
"I read a lot of children's books, and I watched whole seasons of Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers." She sang a song from a show (1).
Matt laughed.
"I also read a lot of children's books. Plus I'm a quick learner."
Matt grinned.
On screen, a striped ball, about the size of a dessert plate grew in size. He pointed. "Is that Jupiter?"
"Guep."
"What happened to Mars?"
"Wrong time of year. Mars is all the way on the other end of the orbit."
Matt watched in silence as the object grew to the size of a basketball, then to such immense proportions that the Jovian giant and its moons nearly filled every inch of the monitor. The planet's red eye glared amidst a maelstrom of thick swirling clouds of gas. He stared at the gargantuan sphere of sandy orange-brown with awe and wonderment. "Wow, how close are we to that thing?"
"Any closer and we wouldn't be able to escape its gravitational field."
He sighed in relief. "That's what I wanted to know."
Quana pointed to a cluster of moons floating nearby. "Ganymede, Io, Callisto and Europa."
Jupiter passed to their side, and Matt saw nothing but stars again. "Are we going to see any other planets? Saturn? Neptune? Pluto?"
"You know Pluto technically isn't a planet."
"It used to be."
Quana shook her head. "We may see Pluto, but I doubt that'll be that visible from our position. We're going the wrong way at the wrong time of year to see much of anything. Sorry."
Matt frowned. "Can I try piloting now?"
"That'd only delay us. You want to get back home as quickly as you can, correct?"
He let out a disappointed sigh. "When can we eat?"
"Any time. What do you feel like?"
"I dunno. How are you going to cook with everything floating around?"
"You saw how I cooked your eggs, right?"
"Do you have any Earth food in storage so I don't have to use up my supplies?"
"Oh all right," she groaned. Under her breath, she muttered, "Guess he needs it more than I do."
"You're not going to give me alien food dressed up to look like Earth food are you?"
Quana growled like a guinea pig. "No, Matt! It's real Earth food! Like those eggs you had this morning!"
"All right. Cool."
"Do you like yook jae jang?"
He gave her a blank look. "Is that alien food?"
"No, it's a spicy Korean soup made of beef, vegetables, and squid. Sound good?"
"Sure." Matt followed her down the tunnel. "Won't the soup float around and make a mess?"
"We have special containers for liquids."
"Yes, but how do you suck chunks of beef and squid out of a straw?"
"It's a special type of straw."
In the kitchen, Matt seated himself on a stool, strapping himself in.
"Do you have to clean these walls like astronauts do?"
"Not really. They're self cleaning. The surfaces absorb food and transports it to a small container where it's converted to plant food, drinkable liquids, pills, and electrical power." Quana stuck a canister into the gray cooking box, pushed some buttons, then handed him a puck shaped container with an accordion-like straw.
Chuckling at Matt's puzzlement, she connected it to the machine with a hose, pumping the container full of savory smelling liquid. For herself, Quana prepared a three eyed arachnid with a catfish body.
She folded her hands in the alien way, singing to the tune of the doxology. "Riko kimera fito qidu vatus, riko layd kai paneciqa culumafa...boine rulijo kai duboqidu shnarf gik guki hapa moqo chisda con chik. Andere."
Matt stared. "What was that?"
"Just a table prayer saying thanks for the food and asking to dine with the Lord."
"Oh. Okay." He drank the soup. As Quana carved and ate her alien catfish, the pungent odor of Fruit Loops mixed with the smell of computer hardware packaging chemicals hit his nostrils. A strong, sickly fruity odor that invaded his lungs like mustard gas.
"That's not toxic is it, that smell?"
"I shouldn't think so. Like your onions. Just a natural trait of the material."
"What's that you are eating? Wusu?"
She chuckled, shaking her head. "Zabid Burrap. It's pretty good, though a little tough from being in storage so long. How's your soup?"
"Good." Matt slurped up a bit of squid, trying to ignore the chemical odors. "Where did you get this soup?"
"There's a place up the road from my house."
Then why did we go to that hole in the wall restaurant? Matt thought. Never mind. He sucked up another mouthful. Noticing her melancholy expression, Matt blurted, "I'm sorry. I feel bad you have to eat leftovers because of me."
"It's okay. I don't want you getting sick." She munched an alien tarantula leg. "You're buying me dinner when we get back to Earth."
"Deal...How long has your food been there?"
"Oh? A year. But my fridge keeps things a lot longer than yours."
"I wouldn't know if your alien food had spoiled anyway."
She sighed.
"That isn't it, is it? It's not the food."
"No. I...can't wait to talk to our experts."
Matt drank some more soup. "Do you have habeas corpus on your planet?"
"Um...no."
"Then maybe I shouldn't go."
"Matt, the early disciples were martyrs. They preached the gospels even though it might mean imprisonment or death. Plus, I'm the princess, so I could have enough clout to keep you safe."
Matt frowned and rubbed his face.
"Please? I really need your help. We've gone too far already."
"Fine. Okay." Matt scowled, taking another slurp. "Did you use your tail to get the bookstore job?"
Quana scrunched her face. "No. I tried that elsewhere, but they expected me to be a walking advertisement to bring in customers."
"Oh." Overwhelmed by the soup's spicyness, Matt waved his hand over his mouth.
Giggling, Quana handed him a water bottle.
They continued eating.
Quana's expression turned dark.
"What is it now?"
"Nothing."
"It's never nothing. What's bothering you?"
"Let's just say...I have a lot of explaining to do when I get home, and I don't know if I can retrieve Morgan's supplies...or anything else."
"What about me, then?"
"You? You might be my ticket out...I think."
Matt paled. "I don't like the sound of that."
"Actually, I have more to worry about than you do."
"What do you mean by that? You're a princess. It's not like they're going to shoot you."
Quana swallowed. "I meant they have to sort of protect you because you're a species that needs to be preserved...but me, I stole a ship."
His jaw dropped. "Stole? You? I thought you were a princess. Couldn't you just...I dunno, buy one?"
"No, I couldn't. It's complicated."
"We've got a long trip ahead of us. Let's hear it."
"You don't have much freedom when you're a princess. You can hardly use the toilet without having some servant falling all over themselves to help you."
Matt drank more soup. "Sounds like heaven!"
"If that's heaven, I wouldn't want to go there. I want more freedom than that."
He raised an eyebrow. "You always read that heaven is a place for serving and praising God. I wouldn't be surprised if at least some of it happened to involve work."
"That is, if I get there at all."
"Have faith in God, Quana."
"I'm trying, Matt. I can't wait until we get to Pathilon."
"Me too."
"Tagososi Bosigoqa ritaqomi," said the computer.
"What's that?"
"There's a FMTZ coming. We should get back to the control room."
Nodding, Matt followed her to the command center, strapping himself in. He saw nothing awe inspiring, just a bunch of stars passing by. "Did you say there was a FMTZ around here?"
"Guep."
"I don't see anything."
"Look carefully."
Matt squinted at the stars and noticed a shimmering effect, like a heat wave or a mirage on a horizon. "So when is the Romulan Warbird coming out of cloak mode?"
Quana laughed. "That's a FMTZ, silly."
The shimmering became more noticeable, filling up the entire screen, then vibrations traveled through his chair and floor as something shook the entire ship. Then, he experienced a strange sensation like he'd been there before. "What's going on? What's with the shaking?"
"Relax. We're just going through the FMTZ."
"Don't you have something like shocks or something that cuts down on the vibrations?" The shaking did funny things to his voice as he spoke.
"Sorry. It's not like a car where you just put in some springs and the ride gets smoother. We're dealing with an aberration of time."
"How does all this work? Is it like string theory where two realities rub against each other or something?"
"Um...maybe, I don't know. It's kind of like a sea of slowly boiling water. Most of the bubbles are too small to be truly noticeable, except in the phenomenon of deja-vu."
"So...We get deja-vu because we walk into these things?"
She shrugged. "More or less."
"You...don't sound like you know how it works."
"Your scientists still suck at predicting the weather, and don't know how pharmaceuticals affect the brain, and yet that doesn't stop them, does it?"
"Well, no..."
"You don't have to know all the scientific properties of water to go swimming."
"That's an interesting philosophy." He grinned at her. "Have you ever gone swimming?"
"Yes."
Matt laughed.
His companion's face took on the color of unripened gooseberries. "What?"
"I'm picturing you at the YMCA, in a bathing suit. I guess you meant you swam on your planet, right?"
She shook her head. "Actually, Professor Wedgewood has an indoor pool. It's perfect. She sealed up the windows with concrete and everything."
"No sunbathing, eh?"
"What am I going to tan? My face? My tail?"
It's things like this that make her a perfect woman, Matt thought with a smile. No fretting about tan lines, and think of the amount of money she saves on razors! The thought made him laugh more.
Quana let out a guinea pig noise. "What now?"
"What about the pool guy? What did he think about all that hair in the drain?"
"Pool...guy?" She sounded like she had never heard of such a thing.
"You do clean your pool, don't you?"
"Of course we do, silly! We have special devices hooked up to the sides and everything."
"Oh. That explains it. Sounds very cute. Is it heated?"
"Sort of. We have a lower core body temperature, so it's not always necessary."
"Okay...So how big is the pool? Olympic sized?"
"Well, not that big."
"It's not one of those children's plastic wading pools, is it?"
"No! Of course not! It's fairly big. The deep end is about nine feet. There's no diving board, of course...She's trying to save up enough to get a bigger one."
"You think I could get my trunks and go over there sometime?"
"We'd have to ask Professor Morgan."
"If she swims in her pool, where does she keep her spaceship?"
"There's a big pond behind her house. She dug out a hole and put a Bariafu over it to conceal the ship."
Matt stared at the stars. "You're a princess. Couldn't you, I dunno, spot her a few thousand and get the big pool built?"
"I actually have helped her financially in the past, that's how she got an indoor swimming pool, but you know...I felt guilty about spending all geben's money."
"Geben?"
"It means father. But you understand, don't you?"
"I guess. Speaking of which, how did you buy stuff with alien currency anyway?"
"Smelting. I took gold with me. I have machines that can convert it to plain, unlabeled gold bars or ordinary necklaces. I molded them to look like they'd been made on Earth."
Matt saw a brilliant flash of light, and the haze outside the ship faded. "What was that?"
"We're out of the FMTZ."
He chuckled. "Things did seem a little less strangely familiar...Are we on the other side of the galaxy now?"
"It's not a wormhole, silly. As if they even did that."
"You said that black holes aren't really holes. What are they then?"
"They're kind of like giant magnets. There's no hole, they just pull things in and crush them into oblivion, emitting radiation as a byproduct."
He frowned. "So...we've still got a long flight to go?"
"Is that a problem?"
Matt groaned. "Uh...sorta. How long is this flight going to be? I mean, relative to time in here."
"Oh? Um, roughly four days of Earth time. More for us, of course, but we have cryogenics."
"Days. Wow," he laughed. "That's fast."
"Come now. If we were using one of your shuttles, we wouldn't even be at Mars right now."
"I guess you're right." He stared vacantly at the shimmering stars. "You said you have cryogenics?"
She unfastened her restraints. "Right. We should get into the Gogibis right now."
Matt followed her into a room containing four coffin-like machines, watching her open the lid of a unit on the end, showing him the various hoses, tubes and monitors he would have to attach to his body, as well as the diaper-like waste removal device.
Quana pushed some buttons, instructing him to click a large red button to get the device going. "Um, you're going to have to...completely disrobe for this."
"All right. Turn around."
Quana did so.
Blushing, Matt undressed and climbed into the machine, hooking up the diaper and other devices. "I guess you can look now."
"Right. I think you got it all set up properly, except for a couple things."
Quana stuck a pair of small black pucks to his temples, then pressed a triangular monitor to his bare chest.
She gave him an appraising glance, then acted like she hadn't, repositioned one of his stomach monitors. "There's an IV. You're going to need that, too."
"I was afraid of that."
"Don't worry. It doesn't hurt." She clapped a wristband-like device around his wrist. It tingled for a minute, then he felt a sensation of warmth spreading up his arm.
Quana put a breathing mask over his face. The odors of bacon and diesel exhaust flowed into his nostrils.
Matt pulled the mask away. "Hey! What is this shit?"
"Fubalca. It has the same chemical properties as sleeping gas. It's partially oxygen. It should be okay for you." She plugged a tube into the diaper.
"You sure this isn't toxic? It smells like I'm breathing in car fumes."
She pushed it back over his airways. "Trust me, it's safe."
"Okay, but if I wake up dead, I'm going to be mad...Wait, who's going to pilot?"
"You have heard of autopilot, right?"
He secured the mask around his mouth.
Quana pushed some buttons and the lid closed, blasting him with freezing cold air. He shivered for several minutes, then the gas put him to sleep.
The lid opened again, and he found himself squinting through blinding light at a shapely female form.
It smiled at him. "Morning, Wusu."
"Hi, Quana." Matt rubbed his eyes as they adjusted to the light. "Was there a malfunction or something?"
"No. Everything worked the way it was supposed to."
"How...long was I asleep?"
"A few days."
"Wow. It felt like I was only asleep a few minutes."
"Yeah, it is a bit disorienting."
Matt asked Quana to swim out for a minute as he unplugged everything and got dressed. He met back up with her in the living area. "So where are we?"
She unbuckled herself from the couch, shutting off a recording of Touched By An Angel. "Oh, roughly around the Miricacci sector. There's a nebula coming up."
"Great!...I think."
They returned to the cockpit, taking in a spectacular view of a glowing purple cloud. The view got tedious after that. "Gee, I thought space travel was more exciting than this."
"It's just like a plane trip or anything else," Quana muttered. "It's not always thrilling. I'm just happy to have someone with me this time. The trip to earth was so lonely that I nearly flew back halfway there."
"So, how much time did we kill with cryosleep?"
She shrugged. "We froze time. I think we still have a four day journey."
"What day is it?"
"Sunday. Four P.M."
"I guess we missed church."
"We're probably going to miss a lot more than that. But I do I have several recordings of church programs, if you're interested."
Matt shook his head. "Never mind. I suppose we're doing stuff for God anyway."
"Yeah."
"Four days. What are we going to do with all this time?"
The look on her face said, `Are you seriously trying to flirt with me?' "Study, maybe see if we can find a proof text that doesn't require you to come to my planet? How's that grab you?"
Matt swallowed. "Yeah. Good idea."
She snorted through her nose.
They ate breakfast.
"So...your planet has sin."
Quana scoffed. "Obviously."
"Was it always sinful?"
"Was yours?"
Matt chuckled, shaking his head. "So much for the theory of earthlings corrupting perfect Eden-like planets. Where did your planet's sin come from?"
"It's in the Gaxea." Quana cleared her throat. "Reality began with Ponai, you know, God. At first the universe was a void, just like your text said. He spoke, creating the first photons of light, then matter, which he shaped into a giant dense mass in the center of the galaxy. He spoke again, and it exploded out in every direction, filling the void."
"Wait a minute. You believe in the Big Bang?"
"Not as your scientists picture it. We actually believe that someone made the matter that the big explosion came from. It explains the Doppler shift pretty well, I think."
"I thought, according to the Big Bang theory, the existence of a creator was not required."
"Your scientists don't really have a compelling theory about where all that matter came from in the first place. Pushing it back to an infinite number of crunches and bangs doesn't answer the question."
"You're making it sound like God was just playing dice, or pool with the universe."
"It's not so bad if you imagine a pool player who knows where every ball is supposed to go, and sends them exactly where he wants them. Anyways, as matter expanded outward, Ponai formed the stars and planets from Kaiaquke, or stellar nurseries.
"The Jewel of his creation, Deoring, He formed from a dead star. The text says that His Mighty Tail cooled the star and moved the tectonic plates, causing earthquakes and volcanoes, then caused hydrogen and other gases erupt from these volcanoes, until it formed an atmosphere and rain fell upon the surface.
"He spoke, and gas and electrical storms to the surface formed into a soup of proteins, from which He sculpted all living matter on Deoring, including Rilla and Bedzyk, the first Abreyas."
Matt shook his head in utter disbelief at what he heard. "Your religion teaches that there was a primordial soup?"
"What was that mud that your god made Adam from? You think it was literally dirt?"
"I don't know...Maybe?"
"Well, I think the idea is similar, God forming life from a lifeless substance."
"Did He breathe into...whatever...to make Abreyas?"
"Guep."
"Did whatsit...the first Abreyas, I mean, did they evolve from lower lifeforms?"
"Yok. No. Just because animals have similar features doesn't mean they evolved. We believe all of that was planned by Ponai."
"Hmm, okay. Go on."
"Deoring was a paradise, lush and fruitful, full of good food and beautiful life. And Ponai had placed Rilla and Bedzyk there to take care of his creation, to work, and care for the animals. Then, much later, he created a special plant. Ponai told them they could eat of any fruit on Deoring, except for—"
"The fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil?"
"Actually, the Sihiku of Tocedopu, but same idea. Discernment. At any rate..."
"They ate it, right?"
"Actually, no."
"What?"
"They successfully resisted the temptations of Zorlaeba, the evil one, and they continued walking close with Ponai, naked, unashamed, in peace, for a thousand years."
"Naked? That sounds easy when your bodies are covered in fur coats!"
"Not everything is covered, Matt. That's why I wear clothes."
"Really?"
Her face gained a slight green tint. Matt again thought he imagined it, due to the lighting. "Anyway, Ponai rewarded their obedience by teaching them great things, advanced technology, even spaceflight, all without ever knowing what evil was, peacefully exploring the galaxy.
"But then came the second temptation, the planet Medufa, the forbidden place Rilla and Bedzyk weren't supposed to touch. Ponai said if any Abreyas landed there or ate the fruit of the planet, it would mean instant death."
"All the worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landing there."
Quana furrowed her brow. "What?"
"Sorry. Movie quote. I'm...guessing one of your guys landed on the forbidden planet."
"Guep. Zorlaeba was successful this time. Rilla and Bedzyk yielded to temptation, eating from the tuldil of Fuceti, bringing punishment, death and evil."
"What happened to them then? What was the punishment?"
"A curse would follow them to every planet they set foot upon. The planets would either yield the things they needed with heavy toil, or would be hostile to their very existence."
"I think I come from a planet hostile to life," Matt muttered.
Quana shrugged. "The...female received the curse of difficult egg hatching and being easily taken advantage of by the male. Families would have to huddle around the egg to keep it warm, and the parent had to stay awake long nights watching the egg, to break the shell when it needed out."
Matt suddenly felt queasy. "You're kidding, right?"
"About what part?"
"About...laying eggs!"
Quana rolled her eyes. "I'm an alien. What exactly were you expecting? Abreyas reproduce by laying eggs."
Matt rubbed his eyes with the bottom of his palms. "Ugh! Nanoon nanoon!"
"You watch movies about worse things, and this shocks you?" (2)
He laughed and shook his head. "Well, maybe not as much as your tongue."
She waggled her split tongue at him, and they both burst out laughing.
"Seriously, Matt. How did you think I felt when I first learned about how your kind reproduces?"
He chuckled.
"Can you imagine how I felt when you suggested marriage?"
"I think I'm beginning to. I guess I wasn't thinking with my brain when I asked."
"Obviously."
They fell into an awkward silence.
"Are they pretty like bird eggs? Because that would be—"
"No."
"While we're on the subject, don't you need a big butt to incubate an egg?"
"Not really. They're only about the size of an overweight human toddler."
"That...doesn't seem very big."
Quana furrowed her brow. "You have no idea what you're talking about. It's big enough."
"Okay, but you said whole families needed to warm it."
"It takes two or three of us to keep it warm, possibly more if anyone wants to live a normal life, and not have to urinate in an obnurd. Of course, some do buy incubators..."
"What's an obnurd?"
Quana shot him a disgusted look that said `really.' "It's a lady thing. I thought the `You pee in it' part was a sufficient explanation."
Matt reddened. "Sorry. Forget I said anything...Men don't use those?"
She rolled her eyes. "Males use something called haxgorg. And the word for sorry in my language is `kigo.'"
"Kigo. Was I wearing a...haxgorg in the...gogibi?"
"No, that's something different."
"So...I guess there's less of a chance of a miscarriage when you lay an egg, right?"
"Not really. Things can still happen. You can lay a dud egg, your child can die while hatching...a lot can go wrong."
He grinned. "If you have a dud egg, can you make omelets?"
She stared at him in disgust. "That's...sick! You're talking about cannibalism!"
"I guessed that," he laughed. "Only teasing."
She threw a wash cloth at him, but it just floated in front of his face. They both giggled.
Matt brushed it aside, gazed into her eyes, trying to picture her caring for an egg. "So, do you, er, female Abreyas, have to...nurse them after they hatch?"
She looked uncomfortable, but gave him a little nod.
"But if you lay eggs, is it really necessary for the baby to be breast fed?"
Quana looked away from him, cheeks turning an unsettling neon green. "We're not birds. Infants need extra nutrients from the mother."
Another awkward silence. When she met his eyes again, Matt noticed that the neon green color had deepened.
"Are you all right?"
"What? What do you mean?" The color faded somewhat. "What's wrong?"
"Your face! It's green!"
Her skin took on the color of a tennis ball. "I'm blushing, okay? I stopped taking Fetmip! This is my natural...blush color!"
"You colored your blood?"
"Umm, yeah?"
"Isn't that...bad for your health?"
"It's a party favor. It's like food coloring. It makes blood coloring pills out of wax, our version of sugar."
"How did you know you needed one?"
"Your movies show people with red blood."
"This puts a whole new meaning to concept of blush makeup!" Matt laughed, gazing at her face in fascination. "I've seen you...blush before. I just thought it was ...something reflecting off your skin."
She scowled. "Please stop staring."
He laughed harder, shaking his head. "So. On to less cute but embarrassing subjects. The land was cursed, and your butts got too skinny to hatch eggs, and you lost your egg teeth or something. What else did Ponai curse you with?"
The green disappeared from her face. "Ponai said we would die and our bodies would be reduced to the materials we were made from."
"Quana, what if that plant was on Earth? What if you just called it a different name and it's actually the tree of knowledge?"
She cast him a skeptical look. "What if."
"Well, if that's the case, then an Earth savior could be exactly the one to take all that evil away." He paused, astounded by the revelation. "And since Jesus is the son of God, he rules the universe anyway! So even if it were a different planet..."
"It could be him," Quana finished with a sigh. "Nice attempt. But I still don't know if he removes Abreya sins."
"You can try asking him for forgiveness, and see."
She did, and earnestly, too. But they saw no clouds, heard no booming voice absolving her of her sins. Quana buried her face in her furry arms and wept. Moved with pity, Matt got out of his seat and hugged her.
"You aren't able to rescue me from hell!" Quana raised a hand to push him away, then dropped it. "You aren't able to!" But then she wrapped her arms around him, weeping on his chest.
"I know. Sorry, Quana, there's nothing else I can do. Just...cool it. Calm down. This is why we're on this trip in the first place."
She sniffed. "How about we study the Gaxea some more?"
"Maybe that will make you feel better."
They studied for quite some time, discussing the great deeds of the Miamapi, the mighty acts of Ponai in the land of Saholiqe, the moral corruption of the Pihodai, comparing them to the bible.
When they got to the part of the bible about the rules about the temple furnishings, Matt got out of his chair and stretched. "My brain's fried. Let's take a break from that for awhile. Maybe we'll stumble over something."
Quana unfastened herself from her seat. "Yeah, I actually do need a shower. Could you go get my commentary on Kisostrom in the meantime? It's in the study...It's got a green cover and the Quaceb symbol on it."
"Um, sure."
Matt swam down a tunnel to a room next to the kitchen, with an alien desk, a chair, and a bed with a sleeping bag thing strapped to it.
He pulled on a random cabinet handle, and a long container full of books and metal rectangles came out. He clicked open a metal thing and found it to be a computer, something he would have appreciated if he knew how to read alien symbols.
Matt put it back, opening a plain black hardback with symbols on the cover. Page after page of symbols set up in a grid-like pattern similar to a Sudoku game.
Another book had a cover showing two Abreyas, gazing at each other while seated on cushions in a bath house. No part of their bodies touching except their hands.
The female's hand rubbed across the palm of the male's. At first, Matt thought it to be his imagination, but the image moved again, like a strange slide show. The male turned his palm over, stop-motion-rubbing the back of his hand against hers, and then the animation skipped to a scene where their hands had turned around, fingers interlocking, cupping, twisting. If this goes on any longer, he thought, I probably won't have to read the book!
The characters gripped thumbs, knocked and rubbed their fists together slowly, tickled each other's palms, hooked their fingers like some secret handshake.
Matt laughed. What are they going to do now? Play Patty Cake?
The animation started over.
Matt opened the book. More alien Sudoku.
Another book depicted a bright yellow plant that pulsated and quivered like jelly as it blinked at him. The book had the same type of content, except that it had illustrations, Abreyas swimming in a crater lake, pictures of factories, spaceships, buildings, mountains and caves, and a few other things.
Quana climbed through the hatchway, clad in a Hawaiian shirt and a tennis skort, tail stretching out the back. "It's right here."
She dug a metal book out of the drawer, then offered him a tiny white square. "Here. Chew this. Your breath stinks."
Thinking it to be gum, Matt did as instructed, but the thing tasted of liver and chocolate mixed together with Chloraseptic throat spray. He immediately spat it out, wishing he could rid himself of the aftertaste.
Quana grinned. "Didn't like it, huh?"
Matt shook his head.
"You know, where we're going, we have tons of that stuff."
Great. Alien gum. I hope I don't get sick. "Pass."
She handed him some Trident. "If you won't chew that, chew this. You need something."
Matt took it, grateful to get rid of the medicinal liver aftertaste. "Quana, can you explain something to me?" He rubbed the backs of his hands together like the people on the book cover. "What does this mean?"
Quana slapped him.
"What? What did I do?"
She put her hand to her mouth. "Where did you learn that from?"
"One of your books. Why?"
"Don't ever do that again. It's extremely improper."
"Kinda like flipping them the bird? Like this?" He made the gesture.
"No, ah, it's not used like that, but it is very private."
"I see. Anything else you would like to share with me?"
"Yeah. Stay out of that drawer." She fixed her eyes on a bulkhead.
"Are you mad at me?"
Her face turned green. "Yok."
"That means...no, doesn't it?"
Quana cleared her throat. "Let's do some more studying."
Matt groaned. "Can we do something else for a while? I'm still recovering from our last session."
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know, TV? Looks like you've got the whole world's media on your TIVO."
"Didn't you watch enough of that on Earth?"
Matt sighed. "Probably." He pointed to a small silver cone sticking out from a corner of the table. "What do you do with that? Impale people?"
"That's a Misaduso. It's supposed to show holograms, but I accidentally broke it."
"You got something else fun we can do?"
"Um, I guess we could use the Fotebja."
"What's that? A hot tub?"
Her face seemed to be saying `Are you going to be like this the whole trip?' "It's...an interactive device. You need a special headset to play it."
"Like virtual reality?"
"Kind of." Quana placed a pair of small horseshoe shaped devices on Matt's temples.
He blinked and found himself standing in an immense square building with a dome. A sausage-like incense smell filled his nostrils as Matt walked around the square room, staring at the sculptures, pillars, and elaborate ceremonial electric lamps.
Matt strode up to an altar flanked by several tall obelisks pitted with holes and perforations, staring at the giant gold symbol that hung on the wall behind them as a backdrop, strolled across the bare marble floor, gazed at Wava shields hanging from arcades on the upper floors, examined the statues.
Quana materialized out of thin air, dressed in a flowing robe of something like clownfish skin. "There you are! For a moment I thought you went into the wrong program!"
Matt waved at the room. "So what's this?"
"I thought I would familiarize you with our religion before we get there." She gestured to the room. "Vanseb Kwibron, the most important Quaceb...temple on Pathilon. I'm sure you have a lot of questions."
He pointed to the obelisks. "What are those?"
"Chirqui. Every Vanseb on Pathilon has one set up behind the altar. A Wodov, a Quaceb priest, offers a sacrifice on the other side of the planet, and the aroma of the offering goes through their Chirqui, to one of the Chirqui you see here."
"I'm sorry, you lost me."
"Your people take pilgrimages to the temple in Jerusalem. The Chirqui makes that type of thing unnecessary, because the sacrificial offering's essence can be transported through the Chirqui directly to the temple."
Matt furrowed his brow. "Is that like teleportation?"
"It's...spiritual. Like how communion makes wine into blood."
"So...you offer a sacrifice there...and it...goes here somehow."
She shrugged. "That's how it works. The Witad of Ponai carries the essence of the sacrifice here to the Nafnith, the main world altar. It's a mystery of our faith."
"That's strange." Matt rubbed his chin. "But I guess it makes it easier to do offerings." He stared at the altar. "Maybe Jesus fulfills the same purpose the Chirk thing does. But I can't figure out the how."
"Well, his death did abolish ritual blood sacrifices on your planet..."
Matt walked up to the Chirqui, watching them puff out clouds of smoke. When he touched the object, it burned his hand. He quickly pulled back.
"Don't do that in an actual Vanseb. You'll get in trouble."
He waved his hand to shake off the burn. "Don't worry. I won't." Wow, what a simulation! he thought.
Matt pointed to a sculpture. "Do these have any significant purpose?"
Quana nodded. "Most are famous heroes from the Gaxea. If you touch them, they come to life and you get to experience their history."
Matt stepped up to the altar, examining a ceremonial killing bench and grill surrounded by ritual implements, containers of blood, a knife, a computer, and an incense and grain burner.
Stepping back, he bumped into a giant mink-like animal chained to a metal post. The creature had a rounded head exactly the same shape and size as its neck, and it slapped the floor impatiently with a beaver tail. Its tiny wet nose sniffed at him as he walked around it, following Matt's movements with its beady little eyes.
Matt petted the creature and it licked him. He could feel its moist tongue on his skin like it were real. "What's this?"
"That's a sacrificial Hoyroq."
He frowned. "Right. For your sins." Matt gestured to the bare floors. "There's no pews."
"We don't use pews. We use special, er, mats, called Navaktos."
"I guess our churches didn't have pews for centuries..." He inquired about the shields.
"Our most sacred prayers."
Matt marched up to a statue of a stooped, shriveled old male in a feathered robe.
"Stopamoya Jerz. He's a Pocwam, which is like a saint." Quana touched the statue, and it crumbled, showing the male to have a brown pelt and a cloak made of giant alien parrot feathers.
Stopamoya led them through a swirling portal, taking them through an interactive trip through the historic sites and famous events of the Quaceb faith.
When the tour ended, Matt and Quana used the device to play some games, then stopped the simulation, fighting muscle and bone atrophy on some exercise equipment in another room.
When Matt had strapped himself into a couch to relax, Quana sniffed and said, "Do you know how to use the shower here?"
"I was doing good enough figuring out how to use the toilet."
"I'll show you." She unbelted herself from the couch.
Matt furrowed his brow. "Wait. How are you going to show me?"
"Get your mind out of the gutterball. I'm just going to show you the faucets and lemwag."
Embarrassed, Matt followed her to the bathroom.
Quana demonstrated, with clothes on, use of the various tubes, nozzles, and an oxygen mask. "You have to be careful not to drown or suffocate yourself with the vacuum."
She showed him how to use the shampoo sprayer. Dark green liquid the color of dog shampoo floated around like weightless marbles in the air. Matt stared as the spheroids of goop drifted into the walls and burst. "Your body probably doesn't have much hair on it, so I'm guessing this will act as a deep cleansing exfoliant."
"I have a sneaky suspicion that stuff will give me a rash." She showed him how to use the vacuum. "Make sure to wear the breathing mask while you're cleaning up. Some Abreyas have actually suffocated in these." She fired a burst of water at him.
"Hey! That's cold!"
Grinning, she showed him how to adjust the temperature controls.
"Does it get real hot when you flush the toilet?"
Quana laughed. "Why would it do that?"
"I don't know."
"Understand everything now?"
"Sure."
Although awkward, but Matt figured it out, got cleaned up and dressed.
He found Quana sitting in the plant couch, worriedly staring at an entire wall full of religious radio and television broadcasts. "Do you think I'm a demon?"
"Are you kidding? What demon would lead me to witness to an entire scifi convention about Jesus? If anything, I'd think you to be an angel...Where did you get that idea anyway?"
"A TV preacher. He said that UFOs and aliens are Satanic, and all those abduction accounts and movies usher in the occult."
"I'm sure he meant well, but he's never met you. It's like how people called whales and manatees monsters before they knew what they were."
Quana frowned. "So I'm a whale."
Matt shook his head violently. "Actually, you're very beautiful. I just meant you're a misunderstood creature. There's some weird cults out there."
She smirked. "I'm glad you don't think I'm a demon. That would be terrible." Her smile faltered. "Do you think I have a soul?"
He stared. "Quana, I wouldn't be going on this trip if I didn't think you had a soul. You have a religion, free will, and a genuine concern for spiritual matters, especially the things of God. Animals don't have that. I think it would be cruel if God didn't give you a soul."
"That's good, because my religion says we have souls."
Matt glanced at the monitors. "Learn anything?"
"I've heard three altar calls, Esau sold his birthright, and Joe Montana helped the Forty Niners become a winning team."
"What?"
She shrugged. "It was a sermon on BET. I also heard a radio preacher say that missionary dating doesn't work. I think he's right."
"Maybe he is right. But, well, you're an alien. So what if I dated you? I mean, the whole thing about the eggs..." He stuck out his tongue.
Quana giggled. "Yeah, and your tongue looks weird."
"That's my line."
"Is it now."
"You actually don't look that disgusted. I think you protest too much."
Matt reddened. "Your biology is different. Honestly, I'm just being a missionary here. And a friend."
She snickered. "On that note, let's study."
"Sure you don't want to shower first?"
Quana rolled her eyes. "I already showered once today. You saying I smell bad?"
Matt got close to her and sniffed. "Actually, it's kind of musky. I wish humans would smell that good when they sweat."
She blushed. "Maybe you should bathe a second time and turn the temperature down!"
"That wasn't intended as a flirt. I mean, you're going to think this is weird, but I actually like the smell of skunk. It beats B.O. any day."
Her blush deepened. "Let's...talk about...the bible."
He belted himself in next to her, and they read religious texts until Matt snored on her shoulder, and he got poked in the rib.
"Hey, there are beds in this ship."
"Sorry," Matt said groggily. "Kigo."
"It's okay. You didn't miss anything. Let me show you your sleeping arrangements."
He followed her into the study, to a sleeping bag strapped to the wall. Once comfortably situated inside the thing, Quana pulled the straps snug around him, and sleep found him with surprising ease. He didn't even care that the padding felt like gelatin and smelled of ammonia, or that he slept on a wall.
He awoke to the sound of turning pages. When his eyes adjusted, he discovered it wasn't his mother strapped in the chair next to him, nor did she tear things out of the newspaper or balance the checkbook. The alien had her little nose stuck in a book by Lee Strobel. She closed the book and smiled at him.
I hope she can't smell my breath from here, he thought, giving her a sheepish grin. "How long have you been there?"
"Oh? Six hours. I've just been awake reading, watching you sleep...Occasionally thinking about you."
He reddened. "Really? What about?"
She took a deep breath. "At first, I was thinking about Jesus, and how you might be the only Jesus I'll ever get to see." She sniffed, rubbing tears from her eyes. "I cried a little about that, then I studied the Gaxea some more. As I was eating a crayon, thinking about my dilemma, I had an epiphany. There are some things you can never figure out on your own without the help of the Holy Spirit. So maybe I just have to be like the disciples and wait for instruction from on high. So with that left to faith, I started to think about you some more." She blushed, falling silent.
He stared, awaiting the answer with a mixture of dread and eager anticipation. Concerning...? It must have been readable on his face, because she spoke up again.
The corners of her mouth turned up. "You would make a very handsome Abreya."
He smirked, feeling slightly embarrassed.
Quana took a deep breath. "Once we return to your planet, I'm going to set about finding you a human girlfriend. I'll also go find a husband for myself."
"Maybe that's for the best." But as he gazed at her, he kept wondering if hatching an egg would be so bad. And with a tongue like that, you must be an amazing kisser. He shook his head, trying to block out such improper thoughts as he crawled out of the sleeping bag.
For breakfast, Quana cooked him a tray of waffles, and a hairy jellyfish thing for herself.
Matt stared in fascination as she sliced the thing open. "What's that?"
"Bub Tig."
Shrugging, he picked up his fork. "Where's the syrup?"
Quana smiled. "You want to eat Bub Tig with syrup?"
"You know what I mean."
"The syrup is already sprayed on your waffles. It controls the mess."
Matt took a bite of waffle. Buttermilk, with maple syrup. "Not bad. Better than those McGriddles things."
"Nothing to it." Quana slurped up a glob of jellyfish with a pair of tongs designed for that purpose.
"Have you ever abducted anyone or mutilated any cattle?"
"No cattle. But I have abducted someone." She pointed the tongs at him.
He smiled. "I'd hardly call it that! What about probes? Do you have anything that sticks probes into people's bodies? Like their teeth or something?"
"Nope. Not on this model. But I can make one out of cardboard."
Matt laughed.
Quana sliced another piece of Bub Tig. "Have you had other girlfriends, or am I your first one?"
He swallowed a piece of waffle. "I had a few, but things didn't work out...Honestly, I'm clueless. Never dated in high school, never went to the prom...how about you? You ever had any boyfriends?"
"Well, not much on Pathilon. They had arranged a marriage for me, and that was supposed to be it."
"`On Pathilon?' You mean you dated here?"
She nodded. "Yes. But, you know, they weren't my type."
"Am I?"
She cocked her head to the side. "As much as a human can be my type. You have faith, you're polite, you respect women, you keep your body under control..."
"And other guys weren't like that?"
"Yeah. Not nice."
Matt stuffed his mouth.
Quana grinned. "That's funny. All this time I thought those `high school proms' were a rite of passage that nobody avoided."
"Well I am a nobody."
"I'm sure you're not alone. Sometimes you're not missing that much anyway. We have the Pijaturu festival every year. For the Pija harvest. My parents set me up with a guy named Rusa and put me in the most expensive Pijaturu dress they could buy. I felt like a giperhofi." Noting his blank expression, she added, "It's a...weird person." She rolled her eyes. "Rusa didn't even like me."
Matt finished up his waffles. "What about that other boyfriend? The one your mom dragged away by his ear?"
"He moved away." Quana didn't look at him when she said this.
They cleaned up and returned to their studies, which lasted many hours. Matt picked up many things about her language and culture, as well as the ancient ritual language of Klargish. No astounding revelations, though.
When at last they took a break, they exercised, showered, and Quana showed him how to clean his laundry in a device that washed and dried an entire two loads in five minutes. (3)
Quana put on a bunch of sitcoms and cartoons, asking him for explanations about the various jokes. He killed several funny ones before they tired of watching.
Their studies resumed, continuing until Matt's eyelids drooped and the texts blurred together. As he found himself frequently slumping over the sofa armrest and Quana's shoulder with greater frequency, he decided to call it quits for the day. "Quana, do you ever sleep?"
"Guep. Every other day." She stretched. "Like today."
They retired to separate beds.
They spent the few days in similar fashion. Matt learned Wava well enough to hold a few basic conversations, and read a few sentences in the Gaxea.
They stargazed, exercised, ate, watched programs both terrestrial and alien. Quana read him a few novels from her world, taught him some songs. They learned a lot about each other.
On the fifth day, as they exercised on a stationary climbing machine, the ship announced their nearness to Pathilon, so they rushed to the command center, staring at a swirling white-brown planetoid.
Quana pointed at a swirling cloud. "Ferleok. Coldest planet out of the eleven planets. Robots harvest the frozen Pufedaga here for computer and spaceship components."
The planet showed no sign of activity. Matt frowned.
"You probably won't see anything happening around here for awhile. They normally spend a year collecting before returning to Woggerscutt, a satellite on the next planet over, that's if their machinery doesn't freeze."
"Gee, I feel sorry for the repair guy."
"Don't be. He has one of the highest paying jobs on the planet, and he's hairy as a mammoth. He hardly does anything on account of the robots. Before I left, he was even haggling for a salary increase, which made my father extremely nervous. Dad would have fired him right then and there if not for the fact that nobody else wants his job."
"Is it cold on your planet?"
"Not really. You'll find it comfortable."
"I hope so. I forgot to bring a coat."
"I've been thinking about what we read in Genesis. Do you believe that's all literally true?"
"Um, I don't believe it was literally six twenty four hour days, if that's what you mean. I think there's enough room for interpretation."
"What about the creation itself? You think there's enough room for a different interpretation? Like, God making the universe in an explosion?"
"I know I'm supposed to say `Yeah, God spoke and bang, it happened,' but you have an interesting idea. What if He really did plan out all the parts of a big bang from start to finish?" He gazed at a constellation, watching a comet streak past. "Still, I wouldn't go so far as to convert to your religion. I still don't understand it enough."
They fell in a contemplative silence, absently watching the stars.
A gray spheroid appeared, a dusty looking tangled mass of stringy rock formations that resembled headless snakes, or pipes of some sort. From Matt's vantage point, it looked almost like a twine ball. "What's this place?"
"Deglos. It's a huge network of caves. Most unusual rock formations and the rarest of minerals in the entire solar system."
"How can a planet even form like that?"
"I don't know. Scientists theorize that the long tubes form that way because of the unique properties of a mineral called Kecuru."
"Does it have an atmosphere?"
"No, but the tour sites always contain life support machinery, and the rock shields Abreyas from the elements. I'd take you on a tour, but we don't have time...It's very beautiful. My geben took me there on vacation once. There are many large, impressive caverns, and many tiny ones you can barely fit through."
"If I ever come back here, I'd like to visit that place."
"Sure thing."
"Will we be seeing any other planets? Or is this like mine, where we took a bad route?"
"There's one more planet and then we'll be there."
"Yours is the eighth planet? Wouldn't that be cold?"
"Not really. And Pathilon is actually the sixth. We already went past the orbits of the tenth and eleventh planets."
"Oh. Right. Some of them got blown up, didn't they?"
She nodded.
Deglos disappeared behind them, and a golden sphere covered in little red spots appeared on the monitor, bearing a slight resemblance to a child's bounce ball.
"Kugifogelo. It's mostly a ball of helium, argon and a gas called kicabaii. Those red patches are electrical storms, caused by the charges of kicabaii interacting with some molecule or another."
They stargazed awhile longer. Matt didn't know he'd fallen asleep until strange shouting snapped him awake.
"Quana Falcameer!"
Startled by the unfamiliar male voice, Matt's straightened in his chair, eyes bugging out.
A cluster of silver, knife winged spherical objects now surrounded the viewer on all sides.
"Labuc demofoa de Bixok Tama, niblet chik brigosaca kai kenuiji coz toihojeb," said the voice.
"What did they just say?" Matt cried.
"We've been had! They want to come aboard!"
"Besides the burglar alarm, what other weapons do you have on this ship?"
"Matt, if the police and the army of your own country came to arrest you would you open fire?"
He frowned. "It...depends?"
She chuckled and shook her head.
"Never mind. Is it safe for them to see me?"
"I don't think so, Matt."
[0000]
1. Quana would have been good friends with Ernie the xenomorph. She would have had days of stuff to go over. I originally wrote that she watched "Every episode", but that would have made her seem incredibly simple, as there are thousands of episodes.
2. I originally referenced Aliens here, which, in the current story universe, would be a celebrity paradox situation.
3. There's two large conversations I'm trying to fit in somewhere regarding Professor Morgan being an alien, and the story of Quana's spaceship theft. It slowed everything down. Will revisit this section if I don't have a place for the stories later in the story.
[0000]
ALIEN CHARACTERS:
Quana: Princess of Pathilon.
Rusa: A male arranged to be Quana's suitor.
GLOSSARY
Abreya: Furry aliens with bare humanoid faces and hands, long opossum-like tails, and feet resembling human hands.
Auno: Powerful subatomic unit, providing energy surpassing that of nuclear fission or fusion.
Bariafu: A special cloaking system for Pathilonian spaceships.
Bedzyk: First female ever created, according to Gaxea.
Bub Tig: Special entree enjoyed by Abreyas.
Chirqui: Obelisks that absorb essences of sacrifices, transporting them to Kwibron, for the honor of Ponai.
Deglos: Planet near Abreya planet Pathilon.
Deoring: Paradise planet described in Holy Gaxea.
Duvalha: A dictatorial nation of Kaybok system history.
Ferleok: Coldest of the eleven planets of the Kaybok planetary system.
Fetmip: Chemical that can change coloration of your blushing and blood.
Fopakna: Quaceb anointing ritual.
Fotebja: Abreya entertainment device.
Fubalca: Special knockout gas developed by Abreyas. Contains a percentage of breathable air.
Futamer: Planet destroyed in Auno wars of Duvalha.
Gaxea: The core Quaceb religious book.
Gogibi: Cryogenic stasis machine.
Gi'uz: Ceremonial Quaceb headwear for males and females.
Haxgorg: Personal toilet waste disposal appliance.
Hoyroq: Premium sacrificial animal used to expunge Quacebs from their sins.
Jufuceri: Planet in which law treaties regarding Auno energy were drafted.
Kaiaquke: Stellar nursery
Kecuru: Special mineral found on planet Deglos.
Kicabaii: Special gas that exists on Kugifogelo, has unusual properties that affect coloration of its atmosphere.
Kisostrom: A book in the Quaceb Holy Gaxea.
Kugifogelo: Planet nearest Abreya planet Pathilon.
Kwibron: Core religious site for the Quaceb faith.
Lemwag: Abreya showering cubicle.
Lyuntaaz: Quaceb religious observance similar to passover and Hanukkah.
Medufa: "Planet of Temptation/Downfall" according to Gaxea.
Mimapi: Matriarchs of the Gaxea.
Miricacci Sector: A galaxy containing the Abreya universe.
Nafnith: Main world altar of Quaceb faith.
Navaktos: Quaceb ceremonial mats.
Neflah: Ceremonial Quaceb headwear for females.
Obnurd: Personal toilet waste disposal appliance.
Pabizol: Vision correcting devices.
Pathilon: Planet of Abreyas.
Pija: A staple food for Abreyas, similar to wheat.
Pijaturu Festival: A grand celebration that harkens back to ancient times, regarding the harvest of Pija.
Pihodai: A group of Abreya Quacebs described in the Gaxea.
Pocwam: A Quaceb saint.
Ponai: Quaceb religious name for God.
Pufedaga: Special mineral found on Ferleok.
Quaceb: A monotheistic Abreya religion, or one who adheres to the religion.
Quidsy: Spaceship manufacturing company.
Rilla: First Abreya ever created, according to the Gaxea.
Rujodale: An alien type of furniture, resembling a Venus flytrap.
Saholiqe: A country on one of the planets described in Gaxea.
Sihiku of Tocedopu: Alien tree of forbidden knowledge, described in the Gaxea.
Stopamoya Jerz: Famous Quaceb saint/Pocwam.
Supica: Quana's spaceship.
Tagososi Bosigoqa/"Flash Matter Transit Zone": Hidden area of space where bubbles of time can be encountered.
Tuldil of Fuceti: A second version of the tree of forbidden knowledge, according to the Gaxea.
Vanseb: Quaceb religious temple.
Witad: Spirit of Ponai.
Wodov: Priest or priestess of Quaceb faith.
Wusu: A chicken-like creature used as livestock.
Zorlaeba: "The Evil One."
Zux Leem: An alien fruit.
WAVA LESSONS:
Bri: Used before a word to indicate plural forms.
Teb: Indicates action progressively, like "ing" in English. Example: "Walking" would be "Jujagteb", not "Jujago".
NUMBERS:
Dool: 10
Rey: 9
Fat: 8
Dolsike: 7
Leeg: 6
Diete: 5
Ri: 4
Oim: 3
Hanna: 2
Bid: 1
LEXICON:
Aiju: Closer
Andere: Amen
Aoqigoia: Neutralize
Audep: Halt!
Baueco: Bless/guide
Benuforte: Prophet
Benuton: Prophecy
Bixok: Queen
Boine: Bless
Boqadi: Proof
Capamfe: Wonderful
Chik: You
Chisda: Heaven
Con: With
Coz: As/for/from
Culumafa: Worship/adore
Dahna: I am
Demofoa: Order
Depogast: Reenter
Duboqidu: Grant/allow
Duquedaka: System
Duigoje: Separated
Eiko/wof: Now
Emilihu: Threat
Eyap Mez: Good night
Feut: Whether/if
Fito: At/to
Garzok: Heathen
Geben: Father
Gebupega: "People" (Abreyas)
Ge'l: He
Giperhofi: "Weirdo"
Giwi: Will
Gosaca: Engine
Guep: Yes
Guki: May/might/can/could
Gurabo: About/concerning/on
Ha: Or
Hapa: Eat
Hib: Is/are
Hieroda: Alarm
Hua: Me
Jujago: Walk
Julujau: Invalid
Kai: And
Kenuiji: Prepare
Kigo: Sorry
Kimera: Present/presence
Knoli: Find/discover
Kolapibu: Sharing
Kuiyo: Holy
Labuc: By/under the order of/under/subject to
Layd: Here
Micha: "Little"/"small", often used affectionately.
Moqo: In/inside
Najikece: Detect
Narun: Male
Neebee: Search
Niblet: Kill/destroy/shut off
Nux: Help
Oopuhane: Individual
Paneciqa: Everywhere
Patnar: Firing
Pofokiai: Password
Pusasuji: Hide/conceal
Quako: Self
Qiciheli: Recording
Qidu: Table
Raraba: Must
Riko: Be
Ritaqomi: Approaching
Roca: Within
Rudibugu: Background
Ruhd: This
Rulijo: What we have?
Saojifa: Security
Shnarf: That/concerning
Soqokuru: Identify
Sotukobe: Religion
Tebesoe/Tebesque: Command
Tocedopu: Wisdom
Tohibou: Run/operate
Toihoja: Board(v)
Umua: Thank you
Vatus: King/ruler/lord
Yok: No
Zaib: Correct