As he and his love strolled through the door at the end of the hallway, passing down the hexagonal corridor beyond, Matt felt a pair of thick arms grabbing him.
He heard a couple clicks, then he staggered across the tile floor, rubbing the naked sore spots where the ear tags used to be.
"Matt," Tama said as she led him through a tangled maze of tunnels. "Would you like to eat dinner with us tonight?"
"I'd love to."
"Would you be willing to try some new foods," said Quana. "Now that you're an Abreya?"
"I guess I could."
"It's up to you."
He shook his head. "It's a shame I never got a proper tour of this planet."
Quana put an arm around his shoulder. "All you have to do is ask."
Tama leaned close to her daughter and said, "Ask him how he became a Christian."
"I can tell you directly if you want," Matt said in Wava.
Tama laughed. "I forgot you can speak our language. So tell me about your conversion."
Matt shared his testimony with her as they strolled out to a long dock lined with otherworldly vehicles. The sun touched everything with a warm glow, lighting the trees like a stained glass window.
The crafts rested on narrow support beams which hung a considerable distance from the ground. Tama dragged him up to a transparently domed vehicle at the end of the dock.
Matt shuddered as they drew closer, blood draining from his face as he glanced at the sheer drop that lay below the chrome turbines.
He didn't want to step on the boarding ramp, but Quana kept pulling his tail that way, then, as he balked at the low door panel, he found himself being picked up by a pair of thickly muscled arms, and he got tossed into a seat. Matt thought it a miracle that this action hadn't caused a collapse, considering how much stress her fat body already brought to the unstable structure by merely walking around.
With a giggle, the princess seated herself next to him, and they held tails as the craft lifted off, soaring through the tree city.
Quana got out of her chair, leaning over the queen's seat. "Mom, what about Dista? Are we going to free her next?"
"You'll see."
Grinning nervously, Quana bit her lip, wagging the furry tip of her tail with uncertainty.
A few minutes later, they parked at the palace and stepping into a fancy barrel shaped elevator.
As Matt stood staring at the ornately carved patterns on the polished wooden walls, the queen poked him.
"What." He cringed at his mistake. "Sorry. I mean, what is it, your highness?"
"I'm sorry I pulled your ear earlier. And I'm sorry I pulled your tail."
Matt grinned. "It's okay. My ear and my tail are okay...Except now I've got pierced ears."
"I'm also sorry that I put you in the Sebanil."
Matt swallowed. "It's okay. You intended it for...a...not-so-good purpose...but God used it for good."
Tama patted him on the head. "What's a Hawaiian freak?"
He gulped.
"It's a beverage," Quana replied. "And a type of flat bread."
"Let him tell me."
"Nothing," Matt stammered. "I just blurted it out because you were pulling on my ear."
"Mom, it's an island on his planet where the people are really big."
"Amazing!" The woman smirked. "Even when you're in pain, you compliment people!"
Matt's mouth fell open in shock. "Okayyy." Out of embarrassment, he looked away.
Matt yelped as he felt someone yanking forcefully on his tail.
"Ow!" He frowned at the giggling princess. "What did you do that for?"
"I just wanted to check if it was real," she said with a mischievous grin.
Matt laughed. "I guess you got me back, huh?"
"It's so handy! I just couldn't resist!" She chuckled. "I've been wanting to do that for some time."
Matt smiled and shook his head.
They held tails for awhile, waiting for their floor.
"Mot," said Tama. "What did you think about the Takofuea?"
"I've never been in a monastery before. It was definitely different."
"I should imagine I would find it...refreshing and different myself."
You probably wouldn't fit through the tunnels, Matt thought.
The elevator opened, and they walked down a hall to a moving sidewalk inside a tunnel.
The queen kept staring at him. "Mot, what do you think about divorce?"
Matt reddened as he looked up at the fat face. "I think you should only divorce someone if there is abuse, infidelity, or a difference in faith that cannot be reconciled," he stammered. "Anything else is just selfish."
Tama nodded. "What about sleeping with someone before you are married?"
He got even redder. "I believe true love waits until after marriage."
The woman's features visibly relaxed. Matt fought down a grin, pretending not to notice.
"Have you dated other females, Mot?"
"One and a half." Matt waved his tail at her. "But I think I'll have difficulty dating any more."
"And why is that? When you were human, you seemed to have no problem with how my daughter looks!"
He shrugged. "That's because I'm weird."
"Then perhaps you can find a weird female from your own kind!"
"Mom!" Quana cried.
"What? He doesn't even know what's out there yet."
The princess rolled her eyes.
"I...guess I could..." Matt muttered, blushing furiously.
Quana put a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to do that."
"Think about it," the queen suggested.
An awkward silence followed.
"So..." Matt stammered, looking up at Tama's face. "What does a queen do on your planet?"
"I write policies, draft plans, ratify documents, veto documents, give national addresses, give orders to the military, give speeches and public service announcements, meet with dignitaries and governments of provinces of this and other countries, and a lot of other things."
"Wow. On my planet, a queen just hangs around the king and doesn't do much of anything."
"Tell me about the government of your planet."
Matt took a deep breath and gave her a rough geography lesson, which turned out long because she kept asking questions. By the time they had reached a stopping point, they were at the tunnel's end, stepping through the gate to the security hub.
"Geigy!"
A gray faced female ran across the room, throwing her arms around the princess, and kissing her on the cheeks.
Matt found himself being similarly attacked (he pushed her away before she kissed him on the mouth!), then Dista was jabbering about how her captors at the prison tried all kinds of mild torture and persuasion tactics to make her abandon the faith, but she never gave in. Then she discovered Tama's change of heart.
Overjoyed, Quana hugged her mother again. "Thank you, mother! Umuachik! You don't know how much all of this means to me!"
The woman smiled, but said nothing.
Dista grinned. "Let's go share the gospel with Syed!"
With a nod, Quana marched up to the security desk, and the two chatted with the male behind the security desk, sharing their faith.
Halfway into the conversation, Matt found himself being hissed over that way.
Syed scanned Matt with the laser, then stared in disbelief. "What happened to you, funny creature?"
Matt frowned at the male's pink ruffled dress. "I don't know, but I seem to be an Abreya now."
The male shrugged, typing something on the device. "New boyfriend, Quana?"
Her face colored at this. "Guep...Kigo. He taught me about Jesus. Matt and I have gone through a lot together. We've become very close."
Matt's cheeks turned pink.
The clerk let out a dejected sigh.
"Oh Syed..." Quana shook her head put an arm around his shoulder. "Syed, I owe you a debt of gratitude. One I can never repay." She kissed him. "I'm sorry, but another has taken my heart. But if it's any consolation, you're getting a raise!" She then muttered something to him that made him laugh.
Dista leaned over the desk, gazing into the male's eyes. "I'm available, if you're interested." She batted her lashes at him, wagging her tail. "I know I'm interested in you."
Syed seemed to be pleased with this, for the two quickly got so carried away in conversation that it taxed everyone else's patience. Dista waved them on.
After some fiddling with the security door, Matt followed the other females through the tunnel beyond, and he crept up behind Quana, tugging on her tail.
"Hey," he whispered in low tones he hoped the queen wouldn't hear. "Did you just turn that guy down for me?"
The princess nodded bashfully. "I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend."
Tama laughed, muttering something to her daughter.
Quana giggled. "I forgot she was learning English."
Matt turned red with embarrassment. "So," he stammered. "When are we leaving for home?"
Quana asked her mother. "She wants us to stay the night. For real this time."
"As long as we can leave for real." Then he twisted his lip. "Speaking of which, do I have any tracking probes in my body?"
She smiled. "The only ones you ever had were on your ears."
"So nothing in my rectum or eyeball or anything."
The princess giggled. "You're silly."
As they approached the tram, a voice shouted behind them. "Geigy! Wait for me!"
Dista came running up the tunnel. She stood gasping for breath in front of the queen. "I apologize profusely for my lateness," she panted. "I was just..." The servant blushed.
Tama only laughed, muttering something about being glad to see Dista doing something normal for once.
The queen's heavy hand ushered Matt into a seat next to her in the front of the tram. As the machine rushed down the track, she asked him, "What do you do for a living?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I work in a supermarket, but I probably lost my job already. I was gone a long time."
"You were a merchant?"
He smirked. "Sort of."
"A servant of a merchant?"
"Pretty much."
Tama's tail thumped the floor. "Have you ever thought of working at the palace?"
"Is this a joke?"
The queen shook her head.
"Sounds better than my last job. You really want me to be a palace servant?"
Tama chuckled and gave him a shrug. "Only if you want to."
Matt stared at her in disbelief. "What duties would be involved?"
She inhaled like a bellows. "Attending the royal family's needs. Watching Quana, carrying the family luggage, housekeeping, and, of course, your usual religious activities."
"Your highness!" A voice cried behind him, but Tama shushed her.
"Religious...activities?...That…doesn't sound difficult."
"There will be some light lifting - you can lift up to two hundred pounds, can't you?"
"Uh...I think so." Noticing the distressed whispering in the back seat, Matt muttered, "Is this going to affect Dista?"
"No, Dista will be promoted to Duzalka. It's a higher rank with greater responsibility."
Matt heard a surprised gasp behind him. "Nalah! Thank you, madam!"
Tama continued. "She will be training and supervising servants such as yourself. And of course there are some duties I can only expect a female servant of her caliber to perform, like hairdressing, fur and tail beautification."
"Wow," Matt grinned. "So you're serious about this."
She nodded.
"I'll definitely have to think about it."
"Don't think too long."
He tuned out the excited chattering behind him as he silently pondered his decision. The job sounded like something he wouldn't mind doing for free, but he feared it would be worse than described.
Matt stared up at his big companion. "Do you want to come to Earth with us?"
"Sorry, I can't. I have work."
Matt laughed. "I figured as much."
The woman turned around, leaning over the back of her seat. "Quana, dear. Nabal is worrying me. I once thought the young man had promise, but what you said about his soul worries me."
Quana sighed. "Perhaps I was too aggressive in sharing my faith. He's probably not happy about the wedding, either."
That's putting it mildly! Matt thought.
The queen sat forward again, staring at Matt. "What do you think about the situation?"
"She broke his teeth and threw him on the floor. I bet he's totally embarrassed, and doesn't want anything to do with her right now, and that includes her faith."
"Our faith," Quana corrected.
"Not in his mind. Anyways, she was rude, but it's understandable. It's going to be a tough sell, regardless, so all you can do is pray about it now."
Tama nodded. "That is wise."
"I know him well enough to say there is good in him," the princess said. "I would be sad to see him condemned to Beptot."
Matt shrugged. "Nabal is a prince. I'm sure you'll see more of him. But it never hurts to pray about things."
"I guess you're right."
The tram arrived at the palace.
"My home away from home," Matt said with a grin.
With a smile, Quana pointed to a gleaming shiny robot standing near the staircase. "Recognize this?"
"Yeah. Didn't I hide in one of those?"
"Guep. This exact one. Looks like they finally got all the Grunkiahu stako cleaned off."
"Is my stuff in there, or in the ship?"
"Actually, it's in your room. Tilika and I collected it all and put it in there for safekeeping."
A freckled servant with hair like plant fronds smiled at them.
"Great! Let's get packed!"
In Matt's room, someone had stacked his things neatly in slim translucent containers. The items turned out to be so well packaged that everything fit inside the machine with room to spare.
"Oh. By the way…" Quana took out a pair of shoes. "I almost forgot. I had someone restore these from the fragments."
Matt stared. Although slightly discolored in parts and not quite matching, they looked brand new. "Thank you!" Grinning, he tried them on.
She handed him a clear package. "Oh, and I want you to wear this. You can't be walking around in that zoo outfit all the time. You'll look weird."
Matt frowned at the bright pink material inside. When he opened the package, he found a sort of dress with a ruffled skirt inside. "Gee, that's manly." He handed it back. "I'm not wearing it."
"I knew this would happen," Quana groaned. Under her breath, she muttered to herself, "The boy just doesn't know how to look good!" She handed him a second package, this one containing a new palace uniform, similar to the one he'd worn before, but with purple leggings.
He shook his head and sighed. "Close enough." He changed clothes.
The servant announced dinner. They walked down to the dining room, and Matt found himself being seated near the end of the table, with Quana and her mother at the opposite end, a group of strangers having already occupied the seats in between. Matt stared across the table at his unfriendly looking dining companions with unease.
Directly opposite him, there sat a muscular bearded male in a silky green gi and bone breastplate, a bored looking female in a polka dot serape caressing the oily black fur on his exposed arm. To his right, a stern old crone with Dalmatian fur in an outfit that looked like a cross between buckskin and orange algae.
At Tama's side sat a weaselly little male with a cracked leathery face and white fur. His bright red dress had decorative crabs dangling over the open sleeves. Matt presumed him to be the king.
After a few awkward moments of silent staring, a group of servants marched in, setting dozens of freakish looking entrees on the table.
Matt watched nervously as a male with purple skin placed trays of giant orange flatworms and blue cockroaches in front of him, hemming them in with mottled green gastropods in sauce and an alien cactus that swelled and shrunk as it breathed through hundreds of tiny mouths.
A young female on Matt's left, with salt and pepper fur and a one strap eyeball dress, turned to look at him through `glasses' constructed from beads. The `glasses', useless for actual vision correction, dangled from a headband like a Native American. "Are you Quana's new boyfriend?"
Matt smiled. "Yeah."
She rolled her eyes. "Pass the Civoca."
He frowned, staring at the entrees in bafflement. "Um…which one is that?"
With a sigh, she stood up and grabbed a tray of overgrown yellow sea cucumbers, taking a bite from the largest one.
"Ayeni! Wait for the prayer!"
Looking sour, the female set the tray down on her plate.
Tama stood up, folding her hands in the Quaceb way, the others mirroring the gesture. She broke into a song about being raised on the day of Kipom.
She stopped in the middle of a verse. "I can't pray the Zatyah anymore. We have found the Kipom. Let's have Kipom's messenger lead." She pointed her tail at Matt. "You pray."
Nodding, Matt said a prayer, and the table erupted in arguing, the couple across from him getting so fed up that they walked out. The old female just scowled and said nothing, her fierce black eyes narrowing as she pointed her hook shaped nose in his direction.
Ayeni, however, seemed interested, as did the gnarled weaselly little guy in red, so Quana shared the gospel with them. They apparently didn't mind hearing, but didn't convert.
The food still got passed around. Figuring it to be no worse than the stuff they cleaned his teeth with, Matt tried a bit of each dish.
The fried bat things broke open like lobster, but tasted of rattlesnake, with a tinge of apple pie. Disgusted by its appearance, he tried the flatworm with closed eyes and found it to taste of fish and bread mold. For reasons unknown, his tastebuds seemed to like it.
Matt found other foods similarly tolerable, devouring unexpected quantities of indigo colored turnip fish that tasted of cough drops and onions, and the jellyfish-like Bub Tig that had the flavor of talc and bread, all without vomiting once. Quana and her mother stared at him in amazement.
The old female leaned over the table, squinting at him. "So, you're a human?"
Matt only nodded in response. His mouth was full.
"You look like one of us."
"Maybe people from other planets don't look that different," said Ayeni. "Science teaches..."
Tama growled something at her for that remark.
"I thought humans were supposed to have no fur or tail."
Ayeni shrugged.
Quana stood up, marching up to her boyfriend's chair. "I'm sorry, Matt. I should've done this sooner." She put her hand on the young female's shoulder. "Matt, this is my sister, Ayeni."
Ayeni smirked and shook tails with him, quickly drawing back afterwards.
Quana pulled back his chair, leading him to the old lady. "This is Korteenea, my grandmother."
The crone just nodded and picked at some leftovers on her tray.
He followed her to the little sunburnt guy.
"This is my dad."
Quana's father gave Matt a cursory shake of a tail, returning to his meal.
Following this, the princess attempted to introduce Matt to the couple sitting across from him.
Matt swallowed, stared at him in discomfort, offered a friendly greeting. Ignoring Matt's offered tail, the male just frowned and narrowed his eyes, muttering something to his mate.
Matt let his tail drop, watching the two mumble to each other and step out of the room.
He gave Quana a smirk. "Who were they?"
Quana shrugged. "My aunt and uncle."
The remaining family members excused themselves for various reasons, leaving them alone.
"So," Quana sighed. "What do you want to do now?"
Matt grinned. "Peruse the literature?"
Chuckling, Quana led him to the library, and Matt wandered the shelves, attempting to decipher book titles.
Quana leaned over his shoulder. "Find anything good yet?"
"I'm not sure. What would you recommend?"
Quana showed him a book about the relationships and adventures of a farming family, which turned out to be surprisingly well written. They had a good chat about it.
"I helped out in the kitchen today," Quana giggled. "They called me an idiot because I ruined the food."
Matt laughed.
"I told them to be honest, but nalah! What refreshing candor!" She smiled.
"Dusaq!"
Matt's flock now stood around him, having been let in by the palace guards. After a lot of hugs and tail shakes, they had a worship service and worked on some more proofreading.
The sky outside the windows changed from dark burgundy to black when his friends bid him good night. Apparently they had worked out some kind of post-monastery housing arrangements.
Matt smacked his lips, annoyed at the aftertaste of his food. "Quana, do your people have something like toothbrushes and toothpaste? Or do you just use those...crab things?"
She shrugged. "We only have Wumpus. I can get one if you like."
"Please."
Quana made a call, and a servant brought him a crab creature in a transparent pink cage with something scuttling inside it. "There you are."
Matt held up the container and stared at the thing. "Hey, uh, toothbrush thing, whatever you are. I'd like to use your services, so don't cut my tongue, okay?"
The Wumpus only clicked at him.
Quana laughed. "That's so cute! You're like a little kid!"
Embarrassed, Matt took the Wumpus out and held it to his face. The creature poked cautiously at Matt lip, tugging his mouth open.
Afraid of what it might do, Matt held the thing away from him. The creature's beady little eyes stared back at him with confusion.
Relaxing somewhat, Matt brought the Wumpus up to his lips, opened his mouth, and the creature jumped in, brushing, flossing and polishing every tooth.
After drilling a cavity on his molar and filling it with a nasty tasting resin, Matt felt its head move sideways, and its claws set about hacking at his tongue. Matt let out a garbled shout and pulled on the thing's tail, but it kept jabbing.
Quana squeezed it around the midsection and it let go. He yanked it out, shoving it back in its cage, where it stared at him with a look of bewilderment.
Matt frowned as Quana giggled at him.
"Sorry."
"Okay, so that's done. What about swimming trunks? You got anything like that on your planet?"
"Um, they're more like...thongs. I could special order one for you."
Matt grimaced. "That's okay. Maybe I should wait until I get back on the ship."
"Maybe that's for the best." But her expression disagreed.
"Goodnight, Quana." With a smile, he wrapped his arms around her, parting his lips as he touched his nose to hers. Feeling her warm breath, and afraid he might get too carried away, he pulled back, red with shame.
She grinned, looking a bit green herself. "Eyap mez."
He had unusual dreams that night.
When Matt awoke the next morning, he tried the Wumpus again, squeezing its tail and pulling it out whenever it attacked his tongue. It eventually got the idea and stopped hurting him.
When Quana arrived, he flashed his sparkling teeth at her. "How's this for clean?"
"Great!" she giggled. "Unfortunately, you'll have to use it again. Breakfast is ready."
Matt followed her to the dining room, taking his usual spot next to Quana's sister. Although the aunt and uncle had abandoned the table, the others were present, and even the old grump endured the Doxology without a word.
For breakfast, Matt had Wusu, then crispy feathery things that tasted like horseradish and caramel popcorn, or soft bark covered in flour, neon green litchi fruit and grass that tasted like Apple Jacks and earwax, among many other things. By the amount he ate, he began to wonder if he had developed goat blood. He didn't throw up once.
"I got all Wursobva Wedgewood's scientific equipment packed in Supica," said Tama. "Are you otherwise packed and ready to go?"
Quana nodded.
The queen sighed, frowning at her daughter. "I really shouldn't let you go, after you disappeared for an entire year and no one knew where you went."
"This is different, mom. Last time I was trying to hide from you."
"What makes this time any different? How do I know that you won't hide from me again?"
"Mom. You're a Christian now. Plus you're not forcing me to marry anyone, and I'm asking you nicely instead of sneaking out. You even know where I'm going now."
"First you were complaining that I didn't spend enough time with you, now you don't want to spend time with me."
Quana growled in frustration. "Oh mom! It's not like that at all! I love you."
"Still, I'd feel better if Dista took Mot home instead of you."
"I don't. Matt is an Abreya now, and he needs my help. Unlike Dista, I know how to fit in."
Matt snorted, trying hard not to laugh.
Tama bit her upper lip and furrowed her brow. "Wasn't he born on that planet? Wouldn't he know what to do?"
"I guess you're right," Quana sighed. "But he's never been an Abreya before, and he doesn't know how to pilot a ship. Dista's never been to Earth. I have. I was there for an entire year!"
"But you had Wursobva's help."
"Not until three months after I got there. I didn't even know who she was until I looked her up. And..." She gazed at Matt, seeming to be thinking about other things. "...And..."
"And what?"
Quana turned green. "Abukos. But you must understand that Dista is too inexperienced."
"Then I want Dista to come with you."
Quana nodded. "I have no objection."
Matt's eyes widened, thinking he might have a slight objection to the extra responsibility, taking care of another clueless alien.
"One week on the planet. No more."
"Yes, mom. One week."
"I want you to call me when you get there."
"Yes, mom."
"Dista, I want a daily report."
"Yes, your majesty. I will prepare at once." She left the room.
"That reminds me," Quana muttered. "I have some packing to do myself."
Matt was left alone with the queen. After chatting with her for a bit, and watching holographic programs in a posh entertainment room, Quana and Dista called him out to the foyer, and they loaded their belongings into the back of a tram.
When the last robot had been crammed into the carrying compartment of the thing, Matt found his congregation gathering around him, and everyone was bidding him farewell, many with tears. They all asked him to come back soon. Matt said he'd think about it.
As Quana clamped the lid closed on the compartment, Matt noticed Tama was crying.
"Oh mom!" Quana ran and gave her mother a hug, promising she'd return soon.
Feeling obligated, Matt also offered his tail to Tama, but she returned the gesture with a great big bear hug that crushed the wind out of him.
He staggered dizzily into a seat on the tram, running his tail through a tail slot as he watched the queen give Dista a similar crushing hug.
The other two boarded, and the tram rolled down the tunnel.
"So Matt," said Quana. "What will you do when you get back home?"
"Other than picking up books?" He absently tapped his tail on the flooring. "I was thinking about going back to school and finding another job, but..." He waved his tail at her. "I'm not sure anyone but a circus would hire me like this."
He absently watched the buildings roll past the window. "I think I should go into the seminary."
"I'm sure mom will pay for it."
"She will?"
"I think so. If she truly believes in what you're doing."
"That would help!" He sighed. "I mean, if the currency exchange...is doable. But I don't think you'd want to stay on Earth with me all that time."
She opened her mouth to say something, closed it again. "I admit...it would be stressful...I mean, the part about being away from home, not-"
"So we'd probably have to be apart a lot."
Quana looked at him like he were crazy. "I could always come by and visit you! Anyways, even if I'm not there, in the meantime you could visit Professor Wedgewood, learn more about us. She'd be thrilled with all the new developments."
"Maybe." Matt paused. "You know, maybe I could just take the seminary classes and save stuff like math and science for your planet."
"Sounds like a good plan. You'll probably learn more. We should look into the graduation requirements."
Matt sighed.
"You have a week to think about it. Or more, if you decide to stay on Earth."
"What!" Dista protested.
"I meant Matt. I can't make any promises, but if you need the time, we might be able to pick you up later."
"Okay."
Matt started making plans. He'd pick up a few seminary class requirement lists to give him an idea on how to study without attending every single class on the list. Matt's financial situation seemed a bit iffy because he had spent a lot on supplies, but Tama had given Quana gold for the trip. Matt wasn't quite sure how they'd file and pay their taxes either.
After a bit of talk, they decided, in between e-filing with the communicator, and some help by Morgan, they'd get it situated.
Another problem: Matt's car note. The princess didn't owe anything, of course, but...
"At least you had your car paid off," Matt muttered.
"What's left of it," Quana laughed.
"Oh. Right. Well it's still at your place, unless someone towed it."
Her tail brushed the back of his chair. "Is it okay if I buy your car? I mean, pay it off for you and own it?"
"Then what am I going to drive?"
"We can share, Matt. I'm sure you'll make more use of it than me."
Matt grinned. "Sure. I don't mind sharing the car."
The tram stopped, and they took their machines down a conveyor belt and a hallway to a sort of freight elevator.
As the thing took off, Dista said, "I should very much like to work in the bookstore at Mot's college. I would love to meet people, and find a male just like Mot."
"What's wrong with Syed?" Matt asked.
"I..." she stammered, then fell silent.
Quana cleared her throat. "If you do work for the bookstore, don't tell them you know me. I left without giving my two week's notice."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Guep. You're probably not going to find anything good that lets you work for only a week. It's not a bad job, you just have to be a committed worker."
Dista sighed. "It was only an idea."
"It's not a bad job. They just expect you to work there for at least a few months."
"Perhaps if I take a liking to the place, I'll think about it."
The elevator opened, and they drove their machines into the egg shaped docking chamber where the Supica stood ready for departure.
Matt grinned. "Now this is my home away from home."
They packed their possessions into the ship's storage, climbed into the control room.
Dista grinned at the princess. "Would you like to drive, or should I?"
"It doesn't matter. Spin a Hazajy."
"How about we let Mot drive?"
"How about it, Matt?" Quana giggled. "Want to give it a try?"
Matt shook his head. "I think I need to take Driver's Ed first."
"That can be arranged!"
Both females laughed loudly.
Quana called her mother with the ship's communication system. "I'm all packed. I'm going now. Umuachik cozpugot."
"You're welcome," said Tama. "Be careful. Call me after you leave the atmosphere."
"Pihile, reem."
The big female smiled at Matt. "I hope everything goes well for you on your home planet."
Matt grinned. "Thanks. God bless you."
"Dista, keep a careful eye on my daughter. Don't get into too much trouble."
The servant nodded. "Celino'h, bixok."
The ship flew out of the massive docking structure, rising above the trees into the purple sky.
Looking back at the rapidly shrinking landscape below him, Matt thought about the near misses he'd had in the forest and shuddered. He turned around, forcing his attention to focus on the control platform instead.
Dista turned in her chair. "What kind of food do they have on Earth?"
"It's different," said Quana. "They put tiny Zotes on the side of your plate and they don't expect you to eat them. The closest thing to Nisentil is called `Meow Mix' and you have to add things to it to make it taste right."
Matt laughed. "That's disgusting."
"It's not any different than that Savcay you ate."
"That flatworm thing? Speaking of disgusting..."
"All right. Then you tell her about Earth food."
Matt explained his favorites. Barbecue. Italian. Pizza. Chinese.
"Do you have anything like Burrap on Earth?"
Matt shrugged. "Not really."
"Actually..." Quana told her how to simulate the flavor with hamburger, crayons and shaving cream, then gave her recipes for motor oil, dog food, and a lot of other unsavory items. "Another good thing you can try are those edible ball bearings. They're very delicious."
"I thought you weren't supposed to eat those."
Quana shrugged. "They're non toxic."
"Do you have any recipes involving sour milk?" Matt joked.
"A few. It helps me make a passable imitation of Nanpoi."
"Can you get drunk on that?"
Quana rolled her eyes. "You watch too much TV."
"Are there any Qidmab restaurants?" Dista asked.
"Wedgewood said she'd like to make one, but she's too busy, and there's too little demand."
"That's a shame. Perhaps we can eat at her house, then." Dista poked around her monitor. "Let's listen to some Earth music."
"What type?"
"I don't know. I've never heard anything other than hymns. What else is there?"
Quana ordered the ship to play a car commercial.
"That's not music!" Matt complained.
Unfazed by the comment, Dista snapped her fingers, bobbing her head to the jingle.
Following this, the ship randomly selected a song by Smash Mouth, then a commercial for Pepto Bismol and the doggie song by Baha Men. The females appreciated all of it.
They crossed the atmosphere, flying out beneath Pathilon's double moons.
Dista tugged on Matt's tail. "I saw the picture you drew of Quana. It's very good. Can you draw a picture of me?"
"Um, I guess. But I don't have any paper or a pencil right now."
"I'll get you a Vuncha." She climbed out of the room.
"So," said Quana. "I guess we can forget about that plan of finding you a human girlfriend."
Matt stared at her. "I..." he stammered. "I guess so...You gonna match me up with an Abreya now?"
She laughed. "We'll see."
Dista brought him something like a hard, glowing piece of paper and a stick, showing Matt how to make designs on its computerized surface. It looked exactly like she were drawing with a pencil on real paper, but she could undo everything with a press of a button, and nothing was pixelated.
After some experimenting, he sketched her picture and handed her the device.
She giggled at the image on the screen. "Nalah. I'm storing that on file." She showed it to the princess.
"Now you'll have to draw another picture of me," Quana laughed.
After listening to randomly selected Earth music for a few hundred miles, Quana put her mother's image on the screen again. "I'm out of the atmosphere, mom."
"Glad to hear it. Call me again when you get past Delos."
Their flight continued. To Matt's dismay, the females' listening preferences soon centered on commercials and Yoko Ono. He watched with annoyance as they rocked in their chairs to the jingles, clapping their hands to the beat. Then they passed notes to one another on the computer, giggling to one another about some inside joke or another, reminding Matt of high school. He sighed, staring out at the stars.
The ship neared Delos, and he stared down at the planet's spaghetti pattern of geological formations. "Dista, have you ever been down there?"
"Guep. It is very beautiful, but it was not a happy time. My father was a Reserpiene miner."
"Did you have to mine, too?"
"No, but I lived in the encampment at Indural. I scared mother one time when I took a bad tunnel." She chuckled. "I scared myself, too. The Ukrozwi was ready to collapse."
They silently gazed at the planet.
"What kind of clothing do you wear on Earth?" Dista asked.
Quana explained the particulars, showing her images on the computer.
"That's nice," Dista said. "Does that go with the louse?'"
"Actually, the louse goes under your clothes."
Matt listened with amusement as the fashion talk continued. Neither one of them knew the first thing about what constitutes for style, they only knew how to disguise.
The discussion soon turned to literature, in which Dista expressed an interest in paltry subjects such as tax laws and wiring manuals.
After traveling for miles without encountering much of interest besides a comet and a few asteroids, they crossed the FMTZ and got into cryogenic stasis.
They spent the next few days working on the bible, exercising, and enjoying various entertainments.
At long last, they arrived at Matt's solar system. When they neared Pluto, Quana cloaked the ship, and played tour guide, introducing Dista to the various planets they passed along the way. Soon, a tiny blue sphere drifted into view. Matt could have cried.
The hazy sphere increased in size, and they passed through the clouds, staring down at the oceans and vast landmasses. "What country am I looking at down there?" Matt asked.
"You mean you don't know?" Quana laughed.
Matt shook his head.
"It's Africa. We're directly over Zaire."
"Hmm...It looks different on a globe."
The ship zoomed over clusters of tiny buildings interspersed with giant blobs of brown, crossed a desert, a mountain, then finally marinas and shores leading to an ocean.
Their cloaked exterior accidentally hit a gull, frightening the rest of the flock into scattering and pelting the hull with droppings.
Supica descended, skimming over a coastal city and hundreds of different buildings, parks, farms, lakes, and highways.
Their flight slowed as they crossed the Missouri, and they crossed a row of factories.
I'm home, Matt thought. I'm actually home.
But as he stretched his tail, watching the trees grow larger, his stomach sank. This really isn't my home anymore. I know those streets, those buildings, those shops, but I don't belong here. "We are aliens and exiles on Earth," he muttered.
"Yes," said Quana. "Our home is in heaven."
The ship landed in Quana's pool and everyone got out.
Dista stared at the broken tiles. "What's this?"
"It's a swimming pool," said Quana. "It's supposed to be like a Paryiz."
As Quana set up the 3D holographic illusion once more, Matt stared vacantly at the unfinished pool, trying to reconnect with the person he was before. He glanced down at his outfit. "I guess I need a disguise."
Quana nodded. "I have some sweatshirts in the ship."
Matt stared at the sun, frowning at how the stagnant hot air seeped through his pelt. "Sweat shirts. Wonderful."
"I've seen a few things online that breathe and conceal pretty good. Some types of...nylon, I guess. Unfortunately, I haven't ordered anything designed for men."
With a sigh, Matt changed into an uncomfortably warm sweatshirt, a pair of jeans that pinched his tail into an awkward position, and a scarf to hide his hairy neck. It was really too hot for comfort. Dista and Quana, in the meantime, had put on matching turtlenecks and jeans.
"May we go shopping, geigy?" Dista asked.
"Later, perhaps," Quana said.
Matt climbed into the storage area, staring at his possessions for more than ten minutes, an action that had more to do with deciding what to do with his life than figuring out what to take.
"Do you need any help?" Quana asked from the hatchway.
Matt shook his head. "This isn't something you can help me with."
He'd missed a month of school. He'd have to take everything over again, and the student loan people wouldn't care. His job had probably let him go already. No call no show. And now he looked funny, which would make finding work difficult.
"You're looking for something that isn't here, aren't you?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sure you'll find it. I just found mine a few weeks ago!"
Matt laughed.
After a long contemplative silence, he came to a decision...about a lot of things. He walked down the exit ramp.
"Aren't you going to get unpacked?" Quana asked.
Matt shook his head. "It's only going to be a week."
She gawked at him. "You already made up your mind?"
"Yeah." Matt stopped at the ladder, gazing into her eyes. "Quana…" He swallowed, nearly blurting out something about marrying her. "I'm going to...take that job at the palace."
[0000]
Author note: This story was written before Covid-19 came out. Presently, I think Matt could work from home and nobody'd suspect a thing.