She didn't know how it had happened.
Well, that was false. She had been plenty aware how babies were made. After all, the Royal Fire Academy for girls had an extensive curriculum, in which sex education was part of. But what she couldn't make sense out of was the fact that it happened to her. Of course it had been in a moment of weakness. One measly fight with Ty Lee, and next thing she knows she's waking up in the empty bed of a hotel.
She had to blame the alcohol, or perhaps someone had spiked her drink and taken advantage of her, because someone like her would never do something so dishonorable in full consciousness. It was hard to remember what the fight with Ty Lee had even been about. Maybe it had been because she refused to give Ty Lee's parents the respect expected towards elders, or perhaps it had been because her girlfriend had nagged about leaving life with the Kyoshi Warriors just to be by her side. Whatever it was, it was no reason to cheat.
The truth could not be hidden. She had told Ty Lee what she had done as soon as she arrived at the place. As excellent liar as she was, there was no sense in living a lie with the woman she loved. It was no surprise when Ty Lee had broken up with her at that instant. No matter how much she apologized, Ty Lee was just too heart-broken to keep on.
What she hadn't expected was for her family to turn their backs on her. What had been years of trying to mend their relationship together, the actions of one night left her without anything. Of course, Mai, now Zuko's wife, had slapped her and ran to comfort Ty Lee. Her brother could not believe what she had done, and just simply avoided her gaze. But what hurt the most was her mother's reaction. Her mother didn't look mad, maybe a little disappointed, but she mostly looked indifferent.
"You had your chance Azula. Leave the palace." Her mother had told her with those cold eyes reserved for her.
She had begged. Something that only peasants did. Yet her mother just shook her head and walked away. She felt like a kid all over again. Wanting to gain her mother's favor, but a simple mistake just made all of that in vain.
The Avatar and his friends were also present for that event. Katara, the girlfriend of the Avatar, threw many insults at her. She knew she deserved each and every one of them, but they still made her feel worse than she did before. The Avatar and Sokka avoided her gaze, just as Zuko had done. It hurt, not to be acknowledge by anyone.
In haste, the princess packed a small bag with clothes and money and left the palace. There was nobody who saw her as she left. It was as if she had never lived in her home. Not even Zuko came to bid her farewell. He didn't care if she was never seen again. None of them cared. She knew she had hurt Ty Lee, but she didn't expect to be abandoned by her whole family. Not when she wasn't aware of what she had done, when she couldn't remember a thing. For all they knew, she could've been drugged and taken advantage of, but her family didn't care enough. After all, she would always be a monster in their eyes.
Dressed in peasant clothes, the princess wandered through Caldera in search of jobs or anything that would help her survive after her money ran out. But nobody wanted to hire the crazy princess, the one who had spent a year in the asylum. It was evident that she couldn't make a living in the city, so she went on a boat elsewhere.
After wandering around for a month, she arrived at a small town called Ido. It was located somewhere in the Eastern Fire Nation islands. It was a town known for its cattle meat. Merchants from nearby towns and villages would go and buy the meats, but the small town still remained secluded. When she first arrived, they welcomed her with open arms. Not because she was a princess, for they didn't know that as she had changed her alias, but rather because she was a young girl in need of support. As soon as they saw her, a group of villagers took her to the town physician.
It was then when the doctor announced her pregnancy.
It had been heartbreaking. She had lost all of her family, her friends, the love of her life, and even her position. She had only a couple of spare coins and a dress. And now, by the will of Agni, she was supposed to have a baby. There was no realistic way she could support such a creature in her state. Not only did she have nothing, but her mental state could deteriorate at any given moment.
But she wouldn't get rid of it. That creature inside of her had the blood of Sozin running through its veins. Bastard as it may be, her child was still royalty, even if it would never know it.
She was thankful when the doctor, Dr. Misa, let her stay in her house as she settled in the town. It was a guaranteed roof over her head, and hot meals were brought to her every day. After a week of settling in, the Fire Nation princess began to work as a doctor's assistant. She would help heal the patients, giving them their medicine and learning all about the field. At first, being an assistant and helping peasants' hand-on felt degrading to Azula. However, as time went on, Azula felt comfort in healing the townspeople.
Contrary to the doctors at the asylum, Azula vowed to always care for the patient's well-being. She was especially strict to patients who were addicted to certain substances, but that only helped them get better. As her time in the village passed, her reputation as the one with Holy Hands grew. Almost all of her patients came out as good as new.
"Her attitude is could use some work, and she'll make you feel horrible about yourself, but by Agni does she have gift." The villagers would say throughout the town
There was a certain peace achieved with healing people. It was what she had wanted people to do with her. What the doctors at the institution refused to do, what her brother Zuko had given up on, and what her mother never cared enough about.
For seven months, as her belly grew, her self-control did too. She was still tough on patients and did not have a reputation of being the nicest of all the townspeople, but there had been an improvement. She would no longer complain about having to cook, or about the roads being so dirty not even a slave should pass through.
With the help of many villagers, she was able to build a small home for her and her soon-to-be-born child. It was close to the clinic, so she wouldn't need to walk a lot while healing from the birth, and it was also close to the town well, so she could get plenty of water for her baby. For the first time in her life, Azula sincerely thanked the people for helping her. At that moment, the constant negative energy present in her soul, vanished. She felt at peace with herself. She had found her calling and her niche. Her destiny was clear. It wasn't to be Fire Lord, or to help Zuko be the ruler he was meant to be.
Her destiny was to help her people, as a princess should. She would help the villagers in the best way she could: in the clinic, healing the sick. Once upon a time, she would've used her skills to convince a group of people to conquer an area for her. But now, she used those skills to help the patients heal.
Her child would be raised as a true Fire Nation child, not as she was. It would live a normal life, without the fear of a father expecting perfection or an absent mother. Sure, a father figure would be nonexistent, but she would be the best mother ever. The sins of her own mother would not be repeated. Her child would be one who could socialize with children its own age, not like what she had passed through on Ember Island.
Soon enough, her child was ready to leave her womb. With the aid of Dr. Misa, Azula went through an arduous labor. It had started early in the morning and ended late at night. After much screaming, pain, and blood loss, the princess gave birth to a baby boy.
The child, however, did not cry as expected. In fact, it did not even breathe. Azula, in all of her pain and tiredness, took the child into her arms. She shook the baby lightly, but the boy didn't respond. Minutes passed, and the baby still did not breathe.
The princess, in her desperation, used her firebending to warm the creature. After doing so and getting no results, Azula gently laid down her unmoving child next to her. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, the firebending prodigy put her arms above the child and focused on the chi. At first, she felt nothing, but soon enough, she could tell that the baby had a lack of energy in his heart. It felt as if it was not working, or at the very least, severely malfunctioning.
"What is done when a heart stops beating?" Azula asked her mentor, Dr. Misa
"There is nothing to be done. In normal circumstances, I would advise for you to pump the child's chest until he breathes. But he has been born without life. It happens. I'm truly sorry."
That was not a plausible answer. Azula shook her head. "No, he will live."
The princess closed her eyes and focused on nothing. Her mind went blank, as if she held no emotion whatsoever. As she opened her eyes, the princess pointed two fingers of each hand towards each other and began to separate the energy. Dr. Misa's eyes widened at the sight of lightning being conjured. Lightning bending was legend in that part of the Fire Nation, what many believed to simply be Fire Lord propaganda.
Azula pointed her finger at her child and, with the smallest amount of force put into it, she shot her newborn straight in the heart. Dr. Misa yelled, running towards the child as soon as the princess had finished her work. She took the baby to her arms and held it there, crying at the cruelty of its own mother. But as she was about to yell at Azula for shooting her child, the cry of a baby was heard.
The doctor held the baby in front of her to make sure that it wasn't a work of her mind. The baby, who had been dead just moments before, now cried in need of his mother. She handed the baby to Azula, who took him and hugged him as tightly as her tired body could. The Fire Nation princess, now a simple doctor's assistant in a simple peasant town, cried with her child in arms.
"Rina, what's going to be his name?" Dr. Misa asked the princess, using the name Azula had given as her own.
Azula looked at her baby. His light skin identical to her own and brown locks on his head, but with two colored eyes. One golden like hers, and the other blue like a Water Tribesman.
"Lee Ten" Azula smiled at her baby as she named it. Lee for the love of her life, who she had lost because of a stupid mistake. Yet that mistake led her to the realization of her destiny, and to her own child, who she would love unconditionally. Ten for her cousin, Lu Ten, who died in vain in the Siege of Ba Sing Se, and who was never properly avenged.
The only important thing in her life was Lee Ten. He would be her whole family, and she didn't need much more. She would live in peace in the small Fire Nation town, without her mother judgmental look, or her brother doubting her stability every second. She would become the best doctor in the town, she would heal every peasant that came her way, and she would love her child forever.
Lee Ten, whose conception had ruined her life, was also the one who brought light into it. The one who had almost killed her during birth, and who was born without a heartbeat, was the one who brought meaning into her world. No matter what, and no matter who, she would never let anyone hurt her baby. He would grow strong, without the need to know of his heritage before much later in his life, and he would live a happy life. A normal life. A life that Azula herself would be jealous of. But it was for her son, so it would be ok.