Sokka could never forget the night he spent with Azula. Those hours of bliss were one of the best things that had ever happened in his life. They both were intoxicated, and one of the involved parties was not doing this out of secret feelings, but it was still magical. The Water Tribesman always liked how the princess looked, but that night, that physical attraction became so much more.
He didn't say anything at the time because he was a coward, a young coward. His reasoning had been that if Azula took the fall, then people would have pity on her once the full truth was discovered. He couldn't look at her when she left the palace. The guilt was unbearable.
Since the day he slept with Azula, Sokka could feel his feelings for Suki begin to diminish and being replaced by a certain firebender. Everytime he kissed the Kyoshi Warrior, Sokka could only thing of how meaningless it felt when compared to the kisses he exchanged with the princess. Every time they slept together was null for Sokka, as his body would always remind itself of the scent of the firebender. It didn't matter what Suki did, Sokka could only think that Azula was better.
It wasn't only on the physical aspect. Every time Suki did a plan, Sokka would compare it to those done by Azula. When Suki tried to be intimidating, he could only think of how it paled in comparison with the princess neutral face. Even when she used her Kyoshi Warrior uniform, the Water Tribesman could only remember of when Azula had done the same to bring down Ba Sing Se.
There was shame to say that it took him a full year to finally retell some of the truth to Suki, which subsequently resulted in their break-up. He didn't tell her that the woman who he had cheated with had been the Princess, and thankfully Suki never suspected of her, but that didn't make things much better. She didn't talk to him for weeks, and once she did it was only because it was in a group conversation and would've been awkward if no words were exchanged.
After the break-up, Sokka tried to look for Azula. He knew he had done a horrible thing by not backing her up when her family turned against her, especially considering her drunken state of the night. True, he had also been drunk, but at least he remembered. The memories of her skin against his skin still remained lingering on his mind, giving him comfort when he needed. Azula had nothing. She was alone in Tui-knows-where in the world, all because he was too much of a coward to admit his wrongdoing.
For years he asked around, trying to find any evidence of a blue-firebender passing through the nations, but nobody knew anything. It was as if she had disappeared as soon as she left Caldera, and there was no way of finding her. At first, everyone thought she was hiding and planning to overthrow the government or do something chaotic, but after years of no sight and no action taken, some people, like Mai, Katara, Toph, and even Zuko, believed Azula to be dead.
But there were some that never believed this. Sokka was one of them. His mind simply couldn't phantom the prodigious firebender dead in some corner of the world. It didn't fit her character. Azula needed to die a legend, not as some random woman walking aimlessly in the world.
He never once gave up on her, but as time passed by, Sokka couldn't ignore his work any longer. And so, with much inner debacle, he stopped his search for the princess and began to fully focus on his work. He had been appointed as one of the representatives for the Southern Water Tribe in Republic City, which didn't give him a lot of free time. What little free time he had was only used to rest. He didn't go on a single date with any woman, even if many of the Republic City women threw themselves at him.
Maybe it was guilt, or maybe it was the feeling of incompleteness he felt without a certain firebender. They had only spent one night together, but it meant so much to him. He had just been too stupid to not tell her that at the time, to not stand up with her, and so he was doomed to a life of misery.
When a letter from Zuko arrived, stating that Suki had found Azula's whereabouts, the councilman couldn't deny the opportunity to see her once more. He took an indefinite leave at his work, appointing another person to act as his replacement, and headed to the Fire Nation. It had been fifteen years since he last saw Azula. Fifteen years since his greatest mistake: not standing up and taking her side. Sleeping with her hadn't been a mistake, but what followed sure had been.
The plan was simple. Meet Azula once again, talk to her alone quickly about what happened, tell her his feelings, hope she didn't incinerate him on the spot, and live happily ever with her if she took him as her man. The probability of this was not high, it was in fact very low, especially considering that Ty Lee was also going to be present, but a man could always wish. He would pray to the moon, to Yue, for an opportunity to start a life with the princess. Sokka knew he didn't deserve it and that it was selfish of him to ask her to live with him, but that was what he truly wanted.
The plan took a different turn when he found out that Azula had a child. He assumed that the princess must've been married if she had a child. She probably married a man if she had a child. A man that could've been him if he had spoken up when he needed to. Sokka decided that he would tell Azula the truth when he met her again, simply for the sake of knowledge. He didn't want her to give up her life simply to please him, but it was also her right to know the person responsible for her downfall. That it was him who ruined her life.
The plan changed once again when the group arrived to Ido and found out that Azula had a fourteen-year-old son that was half Water Tribe. A son that looked like him. A son whose birth and conception perfectly aligned with the night he had spent with the princess. A son that, by all appearances, was also his.
He was happy that he had a son. Lee Ten seemed like a good kid, even if a bit of a mouthful, and maybe he could form some sort of relationship with the kid. Even if he never married, he still had a son who could carry on his legacy. But, what legacy would that be? He had abandoned Azula when she most needed him, and that resulted in him never knowing his child. Lee Ten was Fire Nation, only Water Tribe by certain physical traits, but he was culturally fully Fire Nation. And when the kid talked, it was clear that he resented being part Water Tribe.
Sokka knew that it was his duty as a father to be there for his son from then on. Even without telling Azula or any of the companions, the Water Tribesman took it upon himself to look after Lee Ten and his mother. He was a despicable human being, but maybe he didn't need to be too despicable. If he added some acceptable actions, then maybe he could explain himself to Azula. Who knew, maybe somewhere in the future, they could be a family.
And then Azula found out the truth before he could tell her. He was trying to find a good time to tell her the truth, a time when she wouldn't kill him on the spot. But he underestimated the princess intellect. Not even two days at the palace and the princess had already found out his secret. Much to his surprise, she didn't kill him on the spot. Maybe it was because she didn't want any evidence of their encounter, or maybe she took pity on him. To be honest, he didn't care what it was, he was only thankful that he was alive to tell his son the truth.
The dinner that night started as good as it could considering all the tension certain members of the table held towards each other. Sokka sat beside his son, who was sitting beside Kiyi. In front of the Water Tribesman sat Suki and Ty Lee, the former glaring at Azula every chance she got while the latter ate her food without much appetite.
"So, Azula, how did you find the meeting?" Aang asked, him being the first one to make conversation in the evening.
Azula met the Avatar's eyes and relaxed some unknown tension on her shoulders. "It's good to know that Zuko is open to make necessary changes despite his or his wife's feelings. However, I found the advisors to not reach the level of insight required to work at the courts. If I were Zuko, I would hire people that actually have experience working in the government."
"The ones that have experience are the ones that have aided Ozai and Azulon." Zuko interjected from his seat.
Azula shrugged her shoulders. "That is still experience. Although they both did horrible things to the world, we have to admit that the Fire Nation was very stable under their command."
"What he meant to say is that those advisors are still loyal to Ozai." Mai said, glaring daggers at the princess. "We wouldn't be able to tell when they were to betray the Fire Lord."
"Excuses excuses." Azula batted her hand around. "You can easily get rid of their loyalties to previous Fire Lords with one simply action."
"And what's that?" Mai asked
The princess grinned. "You can either threaten their whole families, or you can simply kill Ozai and make people fear you."
The prodigy sipped her drink as the rest of the table stared at her dumbfounded. The options the princess had just proposed were both horrifying and crazy…but they weren't stupid. No; if they wanted to filter the loyal and useful people, they would need to step up their game. However, Zuko couldn't go around threatening innocent people simply because he was the Fire Lord. It was his duty to protect them, and if he did what Azula proposed, he would be considered a tyrant.
"Azula! We will not threaten or kill anybody!" Zuko roared, outrage that his sister would even consider those options.
"Fine, then keep your untrustworthy and nation-selling advisors who cause the death of thousands of people of your nation each year. I admit, my proposal is in the morally grey area, but I think that it's a means to an end situation."
"I stripped Ozai from his bending so that we could avoid killing him. It's unnecessary to threaten his life now, 20 years after the war ended." Aang said from his seat
Azula rolled her eyes. "Right, and leaving him alive has not resulted in any type of rebellion. As long as he lives, there will be people loyal to him, and with the nation in the state that it is, these people will become more violent. It's only a matter of time before someone breaks him out and he becomes the face of the revolution."
"How can you of all people talk about killing father?" Zuko asked.
"If a person abuses his family, wants to destroy the whole world, would threaten the nation which is already in a fragile, then I don't think he should be able to live in this world."
"But he's your father." Kiyi said
Azula scoffed. "As far as I'm concerned, he's no longer my family. I bear no qualms with ending his life."
"Could we go through one meal where we don't reach a morbid topic or where we end up in a heated discussion and someone offended?" Sokka asked as he bit into some seal jerky. "Let's try to have a normal discussion with a topic we can all agree on. Like, we all know that no matter our nation, we are all the same, right?"
The discussion quickly became an argument. Azula, Lee Ten, and surprisingly Mai took the side that they were in fact not the same, while the remaining took the side of inclusivity.
"It's simple biology. People from the Water Tribe can store more fat so they can survive longer on the cold weather. Their bodies are also made so they can process more omega 3 than the average person." Azula explained for the fifth time.
"That's just an excuse you use so you can be racist! Although we have physical differences, we are all human!" Suki yelled
The son of Azula groaned as he rubbed his forehead. "Nobody doubted we are all human, but there are differences between people from different ethnicities which come from evolutionary traits." He explained
"Plus, I'm not the same as some Earth Kingdom serf." Mai sighed
"Hey! That had racist connotations!" Sokka exclaimed in shock. He knew that Mai was raised as high-born Fire Nation citizen in times when racism was rampant, but he didn't think she would be so vocal about it.
"Enough! Sokka, why did you propose this horrible topic?!" Zuko yelled. His head was throbbing in pain with the amount of people talking over each other.
The Water Tribesman raised his hands in the air to affirm his innocence. "I thought we would all agree with that. How was I supposed to know that it would get so heated?"
"People tend to get defensive when it comes to personal identity and individuality. Next time, try not to bring a topic which crosses over that area." Aang explained, trying to ease the situation.
"Or you could just try to leave us with our actual important conversations. You know, the ones that may actually make the Fire Nation great again?" Azula proposed
"I feel very uneasy when you say it like that." Kiyi confessed
"I'm not trying to bring back the war," Azula rolled her eyes. "I just want the blatant racism to stop, for rebellions to dissipate, and for people to be proud of their nation once again."
"Right, like back when people were brainwashed with propaganda in their schools." Zuko said as he rolled his eyes.
Azula glared at her brother. "Be that as may be, we still had a good Nation. You took the responsibility of the Fire Lord, so it's your duty to actually work to be a good leader. I'm here to help, but if you keep insisting that we did everything wrong back when Ozai, Azulon, or Sozin were Fire Lords, I'll just go back to the village and continue my life there as a healer. All I want is to help my people as a princess should, but you seem to take everything so to heart that you screw our nation over. Yes, we did bad things, but not everything was bad. So stop with that guilt trip, stop apologizing or whinnying over the past, and start analyzing ways to do your job right. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm done for the evening."
The prodigious princess stood up and silently left the room, the eyes of every guest following her. There was a silence that lingered at her absence, as some of the people, mostly Zuko and Iroh, who were the people her words struck the most.
"This serves to prove that once an imperialist megalomaniac, always an imperialist megalomaniac." Mai said, breaking the silence.
"Oh shut up Mai." Ty Lee said, glaring at the Fire Lady and best friend. "She never said anything that proved her to be a megalomaniac, or an imperialist."
"By stating that she wants to bring back the old Fire Nation, she is implying that the nation was better off under imperialist rule." Suki sided with Mai
Sokka cleared his throat before speaking. "That doesn't mean that she wants the war again. By what she had told us and by what we have seen, the Fire Nation outside the capital city is in need of progress and proper ruling. Yes, when Ozai was Fire Lord, there were small towns and sectors of the Fire Nation which needed a good government figure, but there were also parts that prospered. Now, almost all of the nation is in ruin. I know I'm not from here, but I can sympathize with the people. I'm the first guy to say they hate Fire Lord Ozai and the 100-year War, but we must be able to see things from an outside perspective, from a cold and calculated angle."
"What Sokka said is right." Iroh announced. "My father and brother caused a lot of suffering in the world while they ruled the nation, but they also maintained good care of the Fire Nation. I am ashamed to admit that both Fire Lord Zuko and I have focused too much on maintaining peace with the other nations, that we have forgotten about our own."
Zuko sighed. "Uncle is right. Today we took our first step forward for prosperity in the meeting, but it is only the start. We need to start acknowledging that Azula does have the Fire Nation's people best interest at heart, and that she has a clever mind. She has lived as a nobody in the middle of nowhere, and thus knows fully the condition of our country. It was wrong of us to assume the worst when she said that she wanted to make the Fire Nation great again. Was the wording suspicious? Yes. But we need to trust my sister from now on. She's a changed woman, and we need to give her the chance to help us."
After the mini speech, the diners finished their food in silence and followed suit after Zuko left the table. Sokka stayed behind and grabbed Lee Ten by the arm, causing the teenager to furrow his eyebrows and shoot the Water Tribesman a dubious look.
"I need to talk to you. It's important, so come to my room while I search for your mother."
"My mom? Why? I haven't done anything." Lee Ten said, shaking his arm off the councilman's grip.
Sokka sighed. "I know you haven't, but we need to have a conversation. Please, go to my room and wait for your mother and I to arrive."
"Okay... but if this is a trick of some sort, my mom will have your head on a stake."
"I know buddy." Sokka said, patting the teenager on his back, motioning for him to go. The half-breed started walking in the direction of Sokka's room, while the elder turned his back and walked towards the princess quarters.
He knocked on the door twice, announcing his arrival. "Azula, it's me, Sokka."
Not even ten seconds later, the large door opened, revealing a princess in more comfortable clothes. Her beauty was still intact however, as her eyes shone with the same fire they did when they first met. Her hair was in a high phoenix tail, while her signature bangs remained framing her pale face. Even though her physical attributes made her seem tall, Azula had stayed relatively short, yet that didn't make her any less intimidating or beautiful. In fact, it seemed to add to her whole "look".
"Stop ogling and let's get this over with." Azula barked, breaking Sokka from his thoughts.
"I-I wasn't-"
Azula stepped forward and closed her door. "Liars know how to detect a lie, so don't even bother. Where is he?"
"Right this way." Sokka motioned with his hand. The princess scoffed at him but followed his trail towards the bedroom. The way to the room was silent and full of tension. Once he opened his door, his whole world would change. There was no way to tell how his son might react to the news that, well, he was his father. A father who had abandoned his mother and who should be banished from the nation for his actions.
Soon enough, the pair found themselves in front of the door of Sokka's bedroom. They stopped just outside the bedroom and looked at each other.
"So, this is it." Sokka said
Azula rolled her eyes. "Yes, much later than it should've been."
"Are you sure you want to do this now?"
"Of course I am. The question is, are you ready to finally become a parent? Once he knows, you cannot go back on your word. It will be your duty to provide for him and be a present father. If you ever let him down, if you ever do anything to hurt him or to make him upset, I don't care if the Avatar is your family, I will find you and flay you alive. Am I understood?"
Sokka nodded his head. "Perfectly. Well then, let's do this."
The Water Tribesman opened the door to reveal Lee Ten sitting in a chair surrounded by papers. Bunches of papers were thrown all around the room, and some clothes was lying in the bed and floor. The princess face turned into one of disgust at the scene of the room of her son's father.
"Oh crap, I forgot to clean up before." Sokka said as he entered the room and ran towards his clothes, grabbing them quickly and jamming them on the already-full drawers.
"Your haikus are mediocre by the way." Lee Ten said, reading a piece of paper with writing on it. "It was so stupid, to resign and see you leave, with a piece of me."
"Can you not read my stuff?" Sokka said, trying to grab the paper.
Lee Ten dodged the councilman and kept reading other haikus. "Oh how much I wish, to one day say how I feel, underneath the sun. They couldn't be cheesier even if you tried! Flaming hot and cold, no woman can reach to you, you are so perfect. Just like a phoenix, my love for you never dies, and it's powerful Who are they about? It's not Suki, I can tell that much."
"Lee Ten, stop reading those dumb haikus and pay attention to what we have to say." Azula told sternly at her son.
"Ugh, fine. What's so important that made me have to be here."
"Don't have an attitude with me young man." Azula glared down at her son.
Lee Ten made himself seem smaller and lowered his head. "Sorry mom."
The princess sighed. "Lee Ten, we asked you to come here because there is some information you deserve to know. If I had known about it earlier, I would've told you so, because it is your fundamental right to know this."
"What is it mom?"
Sokka approached to mother and son duo until he was right besides Azula. "Lee Ten, first, I want to say that I apologize from the bottom of my heart for not telling you earlier. I know it was selfish, and you have every right to hate me. I have let many people down, but most importantly, I let you and your mother down. I do not ask for forgiveness, but I do hope we can have a relationship that was deprived because of my actions."
"…huh?" Lee Ten asked
"There is no easy way to say this and beating around the bush would be insulting to you." Sokka sighed. His eyes met Lee Ten's. "I gave you the boomerang my father gave me, the boomerang my grandfather gave my father, and which has been passed down for generations. I did this because you are my son Lee Ten."
"…huh?" Lee Ten said with confusion visible in his eyes.
"It's true. Sokka is your father."
"Oh…well…ok." Lee Ten said, looking straight at the Water Tribesman
Sokka furrowed his eyebrows and shrugged his neck. "That's your reaction? We just told you I am your father and you just say ok?"
"I just don't know what to feel. Every day I prayed to Agni that I would meet my father, and I'm ecstatic to finally know the truth. But you also abandoned my mother and lived with another woman while mom suffered. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that. When you first saw me, you must've known the truth, but you're saying it now. Why? Were you embarrassed that I am your son? That your son is a filthy half-bred peasant from a filthy Fire Nation town? That your son is not physically capable of protecting himself, so you'd rather keep the truth to yourself?"
"No! Those thoughts have never crossed my mind!" Sokka squatted in front of the Lee Ten so he could be at his eye-level. "I couldn't be prouder to call someone my son. I am so sorry for not telling you earlier, but I'm here now. I love you Lee Ten, please trust me on that. I swear to never leave your side and to give you anything you need. I was never ashamed of you, please believe that."
"I-I need time to process everything." The half-breed rose from the chair and headed out, walking to his room with tears in his eyes.
Sokka dropped his head and sat on the floor, looking at his trembling hands.
"That went better than I expected." Azula said, crossing her arms as she approached the Water Tribesman
"It's my fault. I should've told him earlier. I should've worked harder to find you and be an active part of his life." Sokka replied, still maintaining his gaze low.
"Well yes, I suppose you're right to some extent. But you couldn't have known that he existed. As far as you knew, it was a one-night stand that ruined my life forever. That's no reason to spend all your resources searching for an incomplete family."
"It wasn't only a one-night stand." Sokka said, lifting his gaze to meet Azula's golden eyes. "I was a stupid 20-year-old kid that did not know the consequences of his actions. I am guilty of not standing up for you when your family cast you aside. I am guilty of abandoning you in your time of need. I am also guilty of falling for you while in another relationship. That night awoke something in me. I searched for you, but I didn't do it well enough. The guilt of leaving you ate me up, and all I wanted to do was hold you in my arms. Azula, I need you in my life. I am completely at fault for my bad decisions, and I regret them fully. My wish is for you to one day accept me and start a family together. Please Azula, I know I screwed up, and you don't have to forgive me right now, but please ponder on this. I don't care if I get fired from my job, I don't care if I'm cast away from my family, as long as I'm with you."
Azula stared at the man before her. The same man that had impregnated her and then left her fending by herself. Now that man sat on the floor, tears running down his cheeks as he confessed some feeling he thought were true. The princess could tell that he was not lying, but that did not mean much. How could she forgive someone that had resulted in her life being ruined? Not only that, but how could he honestly expect her to be with him after he abandoned her and her son.
"When I was little, my mother used to tell Zuko stories about warriors fending against dragons to help a princess. I always overhead them and loved the stories as if mother were telling them to me. I never told anyone because father always wanted me to be fearless and able to fend for myself, but I secretly wanted to be one of the princesses in the stories. I wanted some warrior to come for me and beat the dragon keeping me imprisoned, then live with him happily ever after. I wanted someone that would fight against all odds to be with me, someone who would slay the biggest and most fearsome beasts just so it could hold me. As I grew older, I found myself with the cruel reality that nobody would come for me, that nobody would help me fend against the dragons.
"The desire to be a princess in need of a warrior never died, however. Inside of that cruel princess fighting with Ozai was a little girl wanting true affection. You seem to be offering that right now. You want to be with me, and you claim to want me even if it screws your life over. But how can I be sure that will happen? When you had the opportunity to save me from the vultures, you abandoned me. You left the lone and vulnerable princess against the dragons. Now I know not to expect much from you, from anyone for that matter, but I can still have my standards. If I'm with someone, I want to be comfortable and sure that that someone will not betray my trust. You already have betrayed my trust, and you're asking me to give you another chance. Why should I?"
"You shouldn't." Sokka said defeated. "You should not give me another chance, and that's the truth. But I am still asking, and I will keep asking for as long as my heart leads me to you. I was a stupid kid, a stupid selfish kid that now bears the consequences of his actions. I don't deserve you Azula, but I will still be forever grateful if you at least thought about it. We could be a family. You, me, and Lee Ten. Please, just think about it."
The princess didn't reply. She simply turned around and walked away from the room, leaving Sokka on the floor, silently crying. All he wanted was to be with the princess, but because he had been so stupid fifteen years ago, he now could not be happy. He wanted to be there for his son, he wanted to be there for Azula, because it was all his heart needed to beat. It was selfish, he knew that, but if being selfish could bring happiness to him, his son, and Azula, why shouldn't he pursue it?