His chest clenched when he heard her start to cry. Damn, this was all his fault. He had lost control. He'd been so worried that he had ruined everything with her, that he let his desperation bleed through to the surface; something he'd been so careful to keep buried until now. Every touch, kiss, and caress wore at his resolve like waves crashing against a sandy beach, eating away at the shoreline. Tonight, he was the source of the tide, and he had made it so much worse by pressing his lips against her skin and tasting her. So much worse. Everything inside of him wanted to stay with her tonight. But he knew that lying together, intertwined, and breathing her in…would be too much. He wouldn't be able to resist; he wouldn't be able to come back from that.

The only saving grace is that he had a chance at her forgiveness now. He tucked his face into her neck, thinking about how close he'd been to losing her, knowing that she was the only thing that kept him going. Losing her trust would've been worse than watching her marry another man. That trust was detrimental for the team to work, and the team was his only conduit to her. As hard as it was not to be with her on the level he ached to be, he wouldn't be able to handle watching her go off-world with another team. The constant worry for her safety would eat him alive.

Being on the team with her was all he had to hold on to, until…maybe someday...

He was running his fingers gently through her hair and stopped when he realized. Her crying had stopped, and he leaned back, wiping the dampness from her eyes gingerly with his thumbs and the back of his knuckles. Seeing her like this was killing him. His jaw tight, he concentrated on looking at her eyes and not her lips, "You're going to be okay. We're going to be okay."

She wasn't ready to say goodbye. Sam pressed her hands against his chest and then tucked her arms under his, pulling him against her and tucking her face into his neck. He swallowed a groan, closed his eyes and grit his teeth. There was another one of those waves, crashing against him…eating away. God, it would be so easy to just give in. He hugged her so tight, he felt his arms quiver from the strain. Shit. He had to leave, now. Wrapping a hand around the back of her neck, he bent his head down below her ear and breathed in her scent, his voice thick, "Get some sleep, I'll call you tomorrow okay?" Silently, he told her that he loved her.

She nodded against his shoulder, not trusting herself to speak.

He brushed his lips against her temple, "Goodnight Carter." He let go of her and she dropped her arms as he turned abruptly and headed out of the room.

When Jack opened the front door, he stopped and turned his head. His heart screamed at him to go back. To tell her that he loved her and that he couldn't imagine a life without her in it. To kiss her...make love to her. He turned his head back and stepped through, pushing away the thoughts angrily as he locked the deadbolt behind him.

No. Today, he had secured a chance to earn back her trust. That meant more to him than most things in his life.

If he succeeded…securing her love would be a different matter altogether.

.

Sam exhaled a deep breath, somehow feeling a bit calmer knowing she was going to talk to him the next day. She didn't know much, but she knew that she loved him. The feelings she felt for him tonight had made that abundantly clear. And that combined with the friendship and support he had provided over the years, earned him a chance to regain her trust. Right? As tired as she was, her mind raced, and it was hours until her body finally gave into the exhaustion.

Jack was up early the next day, only managing a few hours of sleep before flashes of her full lips and sparkling blue eyes woke him. He looked at the alarm clock and groaned, 0330hrs. Rubbing his face, he got up and threw on a t-shirt, and sweatpants over his boxers before using the head. Then he plodded into the kitchen, and made some coffee; pouring himself a mug-full once it was done and heading out to the back porch. It was still dark out and he breathed in the crisp chilled air as he sat down, thinking about the night before. Remembering his lips on her wrist…tasting her as her heartbeat throbbed against his tongue. Groaning, he rubbed his face, feeling the hint of stubble under his fingers and an awakening in his groin. Jesus, he was getting too old for this. Exhaling a deep breath, he looked at his watch, 0350hrs. He decided he'd wait until at least 0900hrs before calling her, in case she had to sleep it off; although she hadn't seemed too bad by the time he'd left.

What would he say to her? He took a sip of coffee and leaned his head back against the chair. The safe bet would be to keep it simple, ask her how she's feeling. Try to keep things light with some sarcastic jokes about Daniel getting stuck on their latest mission to make her laugh. He was good at making her laugh. Laughter would help ease them away from the edge of last night, and back toward centerline.

His mind wandered. And he felt his mouth start to water thinking about her sweet soft skin, the way she melted in his arms. Shit.

He knew he should apologize for touching and holding her like that, but he couldn't… because he wasn't sorry. Mad at himself for being weak, sure, but sorry? Not a chance in hell. And, if she would have kissed him, it would have been all over. Regulations be damned, he would've spent the night in her bed and not stopped until he made her come apart at least twice. He let out a frustrated sigh and took a sip of coffee, shoving the thoughts from his mind before his condition worsened.

By the time 0859hrs rolled around, he had taken a shower, eaten some eggs and half-heartedly attempted a crossword puzzle. Now he sat on the couch with his phone in his hand, reminding himself to keep his voice light and upbeat. His fingers tapped impatiently against the armrest, revealing his nervousness. As anxious as he felt, he couldn't wait to hear her voice. He looked at his watch, 0900hrs.

Flipping the phone open, he dialed her number and waited. He heard it start to ring and realized he was holding his breath. Exhaling slowly to calm himself, the phone rang again…and again…and again…and again. He waited for a voicemail that never came. Wait a minute. She never turned off her voicemail and she always answered.

Standing up, his chest tightened as he paced his living room. He pressed the end button and dialed again, "Come on Carter," he muttered. The phone continued to ring, the silence after each tone filling him with dread. Eyebrows furrowed, he closed his eyes, "please," he whispered, but the rings came and went as before. She never answered.