oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo
James stood outside the house in his dressing gown and slippers, puffing on a cigarette. It was too early for anyone to catch him, he couldn't sleep and he always felt safer when his eyes were trained on the horizon around his house. He'd caught Andromeda guarding her family several times since the first time, and part of him was starting to wish that Bellatrix would just turn up and try to hurt someone. James would not let her. He just wanted her to make an appearance so that she'd be caught. He wanted to know she was in Azkaban. He felt like he was floating on a life raft in the middle of the sea, the air too misty to see the shore.
"Are you smoking?" asked a voice from above.
James peered up at the house. Lily was leaning out of the bedroom window, smirking at him.
"Yeah. Sorry." he flicked the cigarette onto the ground. "Padfoot left them here."
"I bet he did." Lily disappeared back inside. Minutes later, the door opened and she stepped out wearing nothing but one of James' old woollen jumpers. She shivered as the morning cold hit her and she hugged the jumper closer around her.
"D'you have another nightmare?" he asked, holding his arm out to her as she tiptoed carefully down the little slate path.
"Nah. Hormones," she replied, nestling into his side.
"What did the little bastards do to you this time?" he asked.
In reply, Lily moved to stand directly in front of him, pressing herself against his chest. She cupped the back of his head with her hand and placed a soft kiss on the side of his neck.
"Ah. Those hormones. They're my friends."
"Come back to bed, please."
James hooked his finger under her chin and tilted her head up for a kiss. Their lips met. The second James opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, Lily pulled away.
"Blegh. Tobacco mouth. Sort it out, Potter."
"I don't know any breath-freshening spells,"
"There isn't one, there's just a potion and buying muggle mouthwash is way cheaper than buying all the ingredients for the potion."
"Any quick fixes you can think of?" he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her close and exhaled right in her face.
"Ew! Just brush your teeth!"
He breathed in her face again.
"Stop that! You're so grim!"
"Fine, I'll brush my teeth while you go to our room and take my jumper off."
"Fine. But don't be long. It's cold in there."
James sprinted through the house, up the stairs and into the bathroom. As Lily walked past the bathroom door, she whispered instruction for him to brush more thoroughly than he was patient enough for. She loathed the smell of cigarettes.
Their bedroom was ridiculously cold. Wooden floor, plaster walls and thatched roof above a plastered ceiling meant for an ice box in the months when England hadn't noticed that Spring had arrived and that Winter was definitely over. Lily refused to use a heating charm. She'd started to dislike the sensation of them: it was difficult to get the temperature right and the way that they filled up a room made Lily feel uncomfortable. She preferred wood burners, thick duvets, baggy jumpers and hot drinks. James would often call her "such a muggle" when she used these items, but she knew he preferred them too. He would cuddle her more in the cold, when they buried themselves under mounds of blankets. That's why Lily didn't like summer. It was too hot and sticky to be close to another human being.
Lily listened to the sounds of the house. The bathroom tap was running, and Harry was not stirring. She climbed up onto the bed, knelt there as though straddling an invisible man and waited for James to return before pulling the jumper up over her head. She was facing away from him. She looked over her shoulder to see him walk in and shut the door behind him. "Wow."
He could only see her bare back and her bum, which nowadays was sticking out a little more in a way that both James and Lily were grateful for.
She tossed the jumper aside as he crawled up onto the bed, placed his hands on her waist and started kissing her shoulder.
"You're hard," she noted.
"Mm-hm." he mumbled into her neck.
"That was quick."
"Mm-hm."
She twisted round and pulled him down so that he was lying on his back. She tugged and his dressing gown and pulled it open, literally grinning with excitement as she threw a leg over his hips to straddle him.
"FUCK your feet are FREEZING!"
"My feet didn't touch you!"
"That foot grazed my knee."
"Well... I'll keep them away from you."
"Put some socks on."
"No."
He started to protest. She knew that he was about to kill the mood with his paranoia that her cold feet might be damaging to the development of the baby. So, she slid down onto him and instantly shut him up.
Despite the aches and pains of pregnancy, sex was something that had made a pleasant return to its integral place in Lily and James' relationship. Death and war was a boner-killer. Lily had said this out loud once and James had howled with laughter. During Lily's first pregnancy, she went weeks without feeling remotely attractive enough for anything more than heavy petting on the sofa. This pregnancy, however, was doing great things to her bum and her breasts, and she prayed that they'd stay that way once the baby was born. There were also less Death Eaters to try and kill her, which was a huge relief on the libido.
Gaunt, skinny James from the war was also quickly disappearing behind Auror-training James. His shoulders were broader, his biceps were enormous and his stomach muscles were impossible to look away from. He lasted longer too.
Minutes after they'd finished, Lily slid out of bed and re-opened the bedroom window. She leaned her head outside of it, just like she'd done when she'd found James outside earlier.
"It's cold, Lils. Why are you doing that?" asked James.
"The cold air is soothing," she replied. "and my back hurts so I'm letting the breeze run down it." As she spoke, she bowed her head to allow a gust of light wind blow into the bedroom. She sighed as it cooled her bare back.
"Was that my fault?" asked James with concern.
"Not at all. It's the baby's fault."
James looked at her belly. When Lily was naked, the baby bump was undeniable and very visible. It reminded James that his new baby was real, and it was in there. When Lily was clothed, the bump was less noticeable. Especially in the cold, when she was wrapped up in a coat. Their baby was due to arrive at the beginning of September, which meant that Lily was going to spend a long summer heavily pregnant. James tried not to think about that prospect. She was affectionate and cuddly for the time being.
"Is it weird that I get turned on by the fact that I put a baby inside you?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's sick." She spoke with a slight groan, and rubbed her lower back.
"I can run you a bath if you want," James offered. She smiled at him and shook her head.
"It's okay. You've got to go soon, anyway."
James groaned and dropped his head back on the pillows. "Nooooo..."
"I thought you liked Auror training now that they're not purging your brain every five minutes."
"I do, but I want to stay in bed with you."
To add more coal to the fire, they heard Harry's cries from his bedroom. The noise hauled James out of bed, but he grimaced as he plodded down the hallway to his son, knowing that the first morning cuddle with the sleepy baby would only make him resent Training even more.
When he entered the living room with Harry in his arms, Lily was stood with her arms folded an eyebrow raised, as though she'd heard his thoughts.
"We can't both be unemployed forever. We'd get sick of each other and we'd turn into one of those sociopath couples that don't have friends because they think they only need each other. Remember Gregory Dickens and Ember Carrow? Sixth year? Worst nightmare."
James climbed back into bed, tucking Harry under the covers with him."Speaking of hermit couples, we should see if Sirius is still alive. I haven't seen him in..."
"hours."
"...days."
Lily shrugged. "I'll invite them to dinner if you like."
"Them?"
"Sirius and Isabelle."
"...oh."
Lily sat down on the bed. She smiled and rubbed his arm. "Isabelle's not The Other Woman, you know. You are."
James snuggled further under the covers and muttered under his breath "I was here first."
"Oh my god, James!" Lily laughed. "Listen to yourself!"
James blushed.
Harry started to drift back to sleep among the pillows. Lily crawled further onto the bed and settled beside him, nuzzling his cheek. She brushed James' hand
"Why were you smoking earlier?" she asked him.
James looked up at her. "I won't do it again."
"I'm not having a go at you, I just want to know what's bothering you."
James thought for a moment. "Bellatrix... training... the future... my friends... I'm still grieving a little bit, I suppose... other stuff..." James rolled out of bed. He crossed the room to the wardrobe and pulled a grey shirt off its hanger. "Can we talk about it later?"
"Only if we will actually talk about it later."
"I want to."
Lily nodded. "Okay."
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
Hours later, James was in a very different place. Gone was the chilly wooden box that was his bedroom. In its place was the great outdoors- a country field, to be precise. The bright sunshine and pulsing heat kept James remembering that he was in a magical simulation of a muggle crowd. The crowd, which was heaving with families, was enjoying a summer fairground.
The detail of the simulation was impressive. Simulated families were laughing and joking together. Simulated couples were flirting or arguing. Simulated dogs sniffed at simulated discarded pasties. Simulated fairground rides attracted long queues of simulated muggle children. This unreal world made James' task of the day rather more difficult.
He and the other Auror trainees had been given Polyjuice potion and told to disperse into the fairground and blend in. Half of the group, James' half, were instructed to identify which people at the fairground were disguised Aurors.
James, whose Polyjuice potion had transformed him into a lanky, spotty teenager with mouse-coloured hair, traipsed across the field in the baking heat, squinting through the sunlight at the hundreds of faces around him. People were chatting to each other, holding conversations and laughing. If his comrades were among them, they were very good actors.
Potter...
Etta Gamble, the succubus-like woman who ran their programme, had cast a charm on each trainee to be able to hear her instructions right in their ear, as though she was walking alongside them, whispering to them.
Remember what you've learned, Potter... look for the signs...
James scanned the crowd. Frustratingly, there was a very thin line between suspicious behaviour and boring behaviour.
What are the signs, Potter? What are we looking for?
The way she whispered was calm and seductive. James swallowed hard and wracked his brain to produce an answer to her question.
"Downcast gaze, withdrawn posture, or, er... wary expressions... and, er... tension in the legs and arms..."
Naughty boy, Potter...
"...was I wrong?"
I can see you moving your lips.
Crap. The second rule of Auror surveillance: Be Inconspicuous.
"Sorry..." he muttered.
Don't generalize behaviour patterns, Potter... what are you looking for?
"I don't get it..." James muttered under his breath this time.
Who, then...who are you looking for?
"Uh... Death eaters?"
Oh dear me... don't make me keep you after class, Potter...
"Alright, bad wizards, then."
There are bad witches, too...
James swallowed again.
The faces in the crowd were starting to blur into one. It was lonely in a field of simulated muggles but unnerving knowing there were Aurors out here, too.
Aurors.
So that's what Etta Gamble meant... he was looking for the Aurors. The people he'd trained with for weeks, whose posture and character he was starting to learn... and could potentially recognise in a crowd.
James walked with more purpose. Etta Gamble whispered a warning in his ear about conspicuous behaviour. He ignored her. Did muggles never walk fast through a fairground?
James pushed through a dense crowd and arrived at a fairground ride. James did not know the name of muggle attractions, but this thing appeared to be a giant slide snaked around a small lighthouse. Children were queueing to climb up to the top to slide down it, wave their arms in the air and squeal. James' mind went briefly to Harry as he saw the excited faces of the children in the crowd...
James spotted him straight away.
In the middle of the queue of children was a man. A 7-foot, bald, heavily-tattooed rhinoceros of a man was stood gazing up at the children's ride he was waiting to have a go on.
He walked up to the man.
"Bertie?"
The man's eyes widened. He did not meet James' gaze.
The man gulped. "Sorry, I'm not Bertie... I'm a simulation."
James' wand was concealed inside his teenage alter ego's leather jacket sleeve. He aimed in subtly at the man.
"Finite incantatem,"
The 7-foot man shrunk down to a size that was still taller and heavier than any man James had ever seen, but the ginger hair and baby face of Bertie Weasley returned.
Bertie looked crestfallen. "How did you know it was me? I wasn't doing anything!"
James looked around them, as if to show how obvious his actions were. "You were in a queue for a children's ride, Bertie."
Bertie looked up at the helter skelter. "It's for children?"
Since Etta Gamble had ceased erasing their memories after every working day, James had gotten to know Bertie Weasley fairly well. He was a simple lad barely older than James, second cousin of the Arthur Weasley whom James had spent Christmas Day with last year. He was a daydreamer, but manage to get O's across the board in his N.E.W.T exams through guesswork, and would not hurt a fly unless instructed to, in which events he could mash a full-grown man into the ground. James liked him, and Bertie seemed to attach to James more than the other Auror trainees.
A few yards away from James and Bertie, two elderly men started to bicker. One pointed a wand in the other man's face, which the other man tried to bat away with his walking stick.
"That'll be the others," said James.
Bertie scoffed. "Alright, psychic..."
The old man with the wand cast a spell at the other, who groaned in frustration as he turned back into Ammon, the Albanian man on their course.
"Time's Up!" Etta Gamble spoke aloud now.
She emerged from the nearby crowd, sauntering through the simulated muggles towards James and Bertie. Ammon and his accompanying Auror joined them, and soon the other Aurors had congregated around the helter skelter.
Etta Gamble looked much out of place for a fairground, in thigh-high black heeled boots and a grey trench coat. She looked around at the group. "We're missing one."
Out from behind Bertie stepped a little girl with pigtails and pink dungarees. "Here I am."
Etta Gamble clapped her gloved hands together. "Valentina. You're my star pupil again today."
The other Aurors groaned, James included.
Valentina was a pitbull-faced bald woman of about 30. She was slight but muscular, and could throw a full-grown man across a room. She was strong, fast, quick-thinking and cunning, with a knowledge of spells and logic that could outshine Dumbledore. And she knew it.
Even disguised as a little girl, Valentina looked militant. "I'm honoured, Miss Gamble."
Etta Gamble smiled briefly at her. "Everyone, dismissed."
At her words, the simulation around them dissolved, leaving them in the Grettadam Chamber once more. James staggered, disoriented.
Valentina snorted. "You're lucky there isn't a course in balance, Potter. Or perspective. Or focus."
James scowled. "Whatever."
He felt like a moron for grimacing at a little girl.
As Valentina marched off towards the exit, Etta Gamble strode up to him.
"It's called 'Stealth and Tracking', Potter. Your tracking is good but your stealth needs work."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"And don't ignore Valentina. Use her taunts as fuel. You should be able to out-do her."
She then leaned against his arm and pressed a hand against his shoulder. "I know you know how to handle women..."
She slipped away from him, winked, and walked off.
oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo
That evening, Sirius and Remus accepted Lily's invitation to dinner. Sirius brought Isabelle along with him, who arrived in her work clothes in a frazzled state. They both gratefully accepted Lily's offer of muggle wine, Isabelle being the more enthusiastic. By the time James arrived home, most of the bottle was gone.
James inhaled deeply as he walked in the door.
"Whatever you're cooking smells amazing," he said to Lily, shrugging out of his coat.
Lily smiled. "Meatballs and spaghetti. And thank you. Mrs Weasley taught me how to make it."
"Thank her for me next time you see her. Need any help?"
"Nah. You'd better entertain our guests."
"Guests?"
From the living room, James heard Sirius shout "Evening, Prongs!"
James moved to join him when Lily grabbed his arm. "Remus is in there too. And so is Isabelle... so be nice."
"I'm always nice."
"That's a joke, James."
James entered the living room and found Sirius sitting on the floor with Harry, constructing a tower out of wooden blocks. Remus was sat on the sofa, holding a glass of wine in one hand and rubbing his forehead with the other. Isabelle was stood at the window, staring wide-eyed into space, clutching an empty wine glass.
"Sirius..." James began. "You appear to be the most serene adult in this room. How is your extra secret mysterious business endeavour coming along?"
Sirius grinned smugly. "You'll find out soon enough. I have an event coming up. The big reveal. You're invited, of course."
"Of course."
"Of course." James turned to the third marauder. "Remus!" James exclaimed. "Remember me?"
Remus smiled wearily. "I've managed to escape the clutches of the Ministry for five minutes. I'm unused to this feeling."
From the other side of the room, Isabelle giggled in a manic, shrill way. "The Ministry... they do like to run their employees off their feet, don't they?"
James nodded at her in greeting. "Things a bit hectic in the Minister's Office, eh?"
Isabelle nodded shakily. "The Ministry decided to call for another election the same week that my idiot brother let slip that he's keeping a mistress in the Swiss Alps. My career and my family life have both just exploded into a mess of rage and tears and my owl is about to die of exhaustion and I really need a holiday."
James stared at her. "There's going to be a new minister..?"
Isabelle froze, then let out a sob. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that! For Merlin's sake, why can't I do anything right?!"
"Er, let me top up your wine glass, Isabelle."
He held out his hand for her glass. She passed it to him, and he rushed out of the room to the kitchen.
He leaned close to Lily to speak in a hushed tone. "Um... what the fuck is going?"
Lily kept stirring the tomato sauce, a smirk playing at her lips. "Isabelle is a bit frazzled at the moment..."
"Frazzled? Lily, she's gone insane. But that's not what I'm talking about. Did you hear there's going to be another election?"
"I did hear that, yeah."
"So Bagnold's getting fired?"
"Not for a few years yet. And she might even get re-elected! But who knows..."
"We need her. She was going to sort stuff out for us.
"What stuff?"
James shrugged. "I don't know, she just alluded to something. But more to the point, she's on our side. The next Minister might not be."
"We'll be fine, James."
James could hear Isabelle whimpering in the living room, and a male voice trying to reassure her.
"James, can you smell this for a sec?"
James looked at her. "Huh? Smell what?"
Lily grinned, leaned closer to him and breathed heavily in his face.
He leaped away from her, coughing and gagging. "What the fuck, Lily, your breath is gross! Did you eat a whole garlic clove?"
Lily laughed. "What a gift of smelling you have! I did eat a garlic clove."
"Why?"
Lily breathed in his face again, talking over him as he gagged. "I had a garlic craving, hence the meatballs. And I wanted to get you back for breathing cigarette smoke in my face this morning!"
"Well if my breath was as bad as yours is now, I sincerely apologise! That was assault, Lils!"
"Hey..." she came towards him, her tone suddenly quieter and less playful. "I want to know why you were smoking earlier."
James looked at her. She did not look cross. She looked patient and calm.
"I... can't stand this close to you. Your breath is awful."
Lily rolled her eyes and took a step back. "Why were you smoking, James? What's wrong?"
James sighed and looked away from her. "The Bellatrix thing, mainly, I guess... I keep thinking she's outside our house. I keep looking out for her."
"Is that why you were outside so early?"
"Yeah. I've done it a few times."
Lily nodded.
"Other than that... I don't have an answer."
Lily titled her head to the side. "What do you mean?"
"Your question. 'What's wrong?'. I can't pick one thing to tell you, Lils." James shrugged. "It's weird... we have to be adults now... normal ones, like. I dunno how to do that. My Dad was a prick and my mum was..." he looked away.
Lily watched him swallow his emotions. Whenever James felt tears coming, Lily noticed he always looked down at his feet and shuffled. He would look up again, composed, with a stern expression and clenched jaw.
He did exactly that. When he looked at her, however, he looked down at his feet again. "It's just hard."
Lily stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes, resting her chin on his shoulder. "I know, baby," she rubbed his back and she felt his head duck into her neck. "Ours is a tough world."
"Yep," James agreed, hugging her back.
"We'll just have to make it up as we go along, okay?"
She felt him nod.
"I'll be right beside you through it all, James."
He hugged her tighter.
"Tell me when you're scared or upset-"
"I do, I just-"
"I know you do, just... I don't want you to smoke." She pulled away, keeping her arms around him. She looked into his eyes. "You know I don't like it..."
James nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."
Lily returned to hugging him. She started to walk backwards, her arms still around him, eliciting a chuckle from him as she dragged him with her towards the stove so that she could stir the meatball sauce while still embracing him. James twisted her around so that she could work properly, and kept his arms around her waist.
"My boss is flirting with me," James said.
Lily looked at him sceptically. "You used to think McGonagall flirted with you."
"This woman really is flirting with me."
Lily smiled. "I don't blame her."
"She scares me."
"What colour is her hair?"
"Black."
"Hmm. You prefer gingers. I don't feel threatened."
"Speaking of gingers..." James moved his hands to her stomach. "I want this baby to hurry up. I don't care how unprepared I am for adulthood, I want Ginger Baby to get a move on with growing."
"Stop calling it 'Ginger Baby', it might not be ginger," said Lily. "and Isabelle said my bump was really obvious when she walked in."
James rolled his eyes. "'Course she did. Tactless cow."
"Don't be so rude! Take her another glass of wine, you arsehole!"
James grabbed her wine glass and dribbled the remaining drops of wine into it.
"Dinner will be ready soon," said Lily as he turned back to the living room. "Hey!"
She grabbed his arm again and leaned in for a kiss.
"Eurgh. No. I'd rather die, thanks."
Lily pounted as he walked back into the living room. "Oh, darling, you break my heart."
oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo
A/N: Sorry that took a while to upload.
Thank you for sticking with this. Please review/follow/favourite
Reminder that two days ago was the anniversary of their death.
N x