November 1977

Another Gryffindor party had got out of hand. It had been Remus' idea to take the action out into the Hogwarts grounds, ferrying Gryffindors through corridors in the dark, shuffling and giggling, avoiding detection from teachers with the help of the Marauders' Map (which Remus kept to himself and showed to none of the others). Soon, they were outside in the cold November air, sprinting away from the castle in a huge group. When they were far enough away, the game began.

It was Remus who had proposed the goose chase in the Forbidden Forest. Everyone at the party in the common room was drunk and less discreet than normal. He'd whispered to James that the sexual tension between certain members of their House was palpable, and they needed to work it off. Hence, the goose chase.

Sirius Black and Frank Longbottom were the captors, chasing the others. Sirius, because he had an 'inexplicably keen' sense of sight and sound. Frank, because as Gryffindor seeker his eyes were sharp as a hawk's, his competitive streak bordered on manic, and he was so tall that the hiders could see him coming from a mile off.

People hid in pairs. Marlene picked Peter. It was a cunning move from her, James thought. Peter was slow, and Marlene was not convincingly opposed to being caught by Sirius. Neither was Emmeline Vance, for that matter... but Sirius would not chase her.

James and Lily ran hand-in-hand into the belly of the beast.

Heads spinning, they clumsily lead each other in between trees and over fallen branches. James was exhilarated. Lily was red-faced and laughing every time either one of them stumbled over a stone.

At night, the forest was blue. Blue, misty and deadly silent but for the shrieking and cackling of students.

"Stay low," James hissed to her.

"Why?" she asked breathlessly as they shuffled downwards into a dip in the ground. "They're miles away!"

"Come here," James dragged her into a darker, denser clump of trees and surveyed their surroundings. Indeed, James could see nobody around.

"Potteeeerrrr," she groaned. "Can't run anymore... got a stitch."

"We can hide here for a bit," he said as she let go of his hand. She walked over to another tree nearby and slumped down at the base of its trunk.

He, too, sat down at the bottom of a tree to catch his breath. He watched her as her head lolled to the side. She closed her eyes and giggled.

"You're a messy drunk, Evans," he noted with a smirk.

"I'm not that bad," she said. "I'm half-drunk, half-high on life. Good combo."

James nodded amusedly and checked their surroundings. In the distance, he could hear Remus teasingly howling like a wolf. He and Lily laughed.

"Potter..." Lily mumbled. "Look what I have."

She was wearing her oversized beige peacoat. From inside one of its enormous pockets, she pulled out a metal hip flask.

"Oh, Evans, you're my hero..." James sighed.

"You're welcome," she smiled, unscrewing the lid and taking a sip. "It's Marlene's, but she wasn't using it. It's got firewhisky in it. More of it."

"Just what we need."

They sat in silence, throwing the hip flask between each other, taking sips and listening for the other players of the goose chase. The occasional whoop and chorus of bad singing made them smile.

The wintry air was nice. It cooled their faces, while the firewhisky they'd already consumed kept them warm.

James glanced over at Lily after a while. In the moonlight, she looked very pretty. Her skin glowed. Her hair billowed in the breeze which she held her face out towards, seemingly enjoying the fresh feeling on her face and neck. Her woollen knee socks had fallen down in the chase and bunched around the hems of her boots, exposing her pale legs. It was more of Lily than James had ever seen.

"So..." he began, distracting himself. "Padfoot and McKinnon, eh?"

Lily smiled. "If they do happen, we should all run for cover."

She threw him the hip flask. He leant back against the tree and took a swig. "It'll happen."

"What makes you so sure?"

"They like each other."

Lily scoffed. "You're right there, Captain Obvious. But Marlene's proud. She likes to be chased."

James shrugged. "He doesn't mind chasing."

"I suppose they've been quite attentive to each other lately."

"Are you joking? They're always whispering in the common room. They can't keep their eyes off each other in class. They're both bonkers for each other."

He threw the flask to her. She kept her eyes on his as she opened it and took a sip.

"You stare at me in class."

James didn't respond. They watched each other's expressions for several seconds, before James held his hand out for the flask. Lily took another sip before handing it back to him.

"You stare back."

She smirked. It was a new smirk that James had only recently become acquainted with. It was a lazy, sexy, alcohol-infused smirk. He liked it very much, but right now it made him feel oddly uncomfortable.

"How many other girls do you stare at, Potter?"

He took a swig of firewhisky. "Just you, Evans. Just you."

He noticed her suppressing a grin. "Do you expect me to believe that?"

"You know I'm telling the truth," he told her.

Lily looked away from him then. He threw the hip flask to her, and she picked it up off the ground where it fell. She didn't open it, though. She toyed with the fastening, but lingered, as though thinking.

She pulled her knees a bit, letting her skirt slide up her thighs.

"I like it when you stare at me."

The creamy skin of her legs was a big distraction for James and she knew it. He didn't mind staring at her legs if she was inviting him to.

"Is that so?"

"Mmm-hmm. It gives me a nice feeling under my skin. A bit like this stuff," she shook the hip flask.

He understood that feeling completely.

He surprised himself. He'd imagined himself enjoying the drunken flirtations of Lily Evans, but currently he was not. He was not drunk enough to make a fool of himself, and the Lily that he really wanted to flirt with was hidden under firewhisky.

"You should stare at me when we're not in class sometime," she said to him, her voice low. "See what happens."

James grimaced. "We shouldn't do this now."

"Do what?"

"Have this conversation."

Lily rolled her eyes. "So what if I'm a little tipsy? I'm telling you what you want to hear, Potter."

"But you wouldn't be saying any of this if you were sober."

Lily bit her lip. "No."

James looked at the ground. He toyed with a patch of dead grass by his leg. He was used to being hurt by her, so did not give a huge reaction to her.

"We've been flirting for weeks, Evans."

"Yes."

"You like me."

She did not respond.

He did not look up. Instead, he looked out at the forest.

"If you didn't like me, and you knew I liked you, flirting with me would be a real arsehole thing to do."

Again, she did not respond. He looked up this time, and saw that she too was frowning at her lap.

"Why won't you just be honest with me?"

She swallowed. "You'd tease me."

"No I wouldn't!"

"But that's our thing!" She looked up at him, her expression completely changed into one of total sobriety. "We tease each other and pretend to get annoyed."

"I promise I won't tease you. Just tell me how you feel."

"Oh, for God's sake, James, you know I like you."

He stared at her. She stared back at him, angrily.

"I like you," she reiterated. Even as she spoke, her expression softened. Only a little, though.

"Tell me that when you're sober."

Lily looked away. "No."

James sighed in exasperation. "Bloody hell, why not?"

"Because you'll ask me out."

"And you don't want to go out with me?"

"No."

James felt his stomach twist painfully. His jaw clenched. He held his hand out for the hip flask. She tossed it to him.

"So. You like me, but you don't want to be my girlfriend."

Lily closed her eyes.

James took a big gulp of firewhisky. It burned his throat and ignited his veins, but he kept his eyes on her. As torturous as she was, she was still lovely. Why couldn't he just hate her?

"You think you're too good for me."

Lily looked up at him slowly, a strange expression on her face. One of unfamiliarity, possibly even disgust.

He took another gulp of whisky. "It's alright. You're right."

In the far distance, there was a small commotion. A group had been caught, and people were laughing. Neither James nor Lily took any notice.

Lily shifted so that she was on her hands and knees, and crawled towards James. The ends of her hair and the too-long sleeves of her coat dragged through the mud and moss that blanketed the forest floor.

James did not move as she stopped inches from his face.

They gaze locked as she pulled her coat off.

Could she be this cruel?

She began to undo her shirt buttons.

"Lily, don't-"

But something in her eyes told him that this was more than a drunken pass.

She delicately pulled off her shirt, exposing her white bra. When the cold breeze picked up, she shivered.

James reached out to stroke her arms, but then she began to turn around.

She showed her back to him, and even before she lifted her hair out of the way, James could see the horror that she was about to show him.

She started to reach over her shoulder for her hair, but winced as her arm reached back.

James moved her hair for her. He brushed it gently over her shoulder, and lingered his hand there, half-comforting her, half-steadying himself as he took in what he saw.

Between her shoulder-blades was a violent dark bruise the size of a dinner plate.

He leaned back against the tree, his hand trailing down her back, his touch feather-light against her bruise.

She had missed a day of lessons this week.

"Who was it this time?" he asked, controlling his voice.

"MacNair. But that's not the point..."

James grabbed the hip flask and took a long swig of firewhisy. "I'll get him."

She looked over her shoulder at him. "No, James."

He picked up her shirt and draped it over her shoulders. "I'll break his arms."

"No."

He helped her put her arms back into her shirt. As she began to do the buttons, he stood up. He stumbled as the firewhisky hit him. He clutched his face as the forest spun. This, the disorientation, was only partly due to the alcohol.

"James..."

He felt her hand rest on his back. "Listen to me."

He turned around. She stared up at him with a look of determination. "I didn't show you that to get you angry. The perpetrators aren't the problem-"

"Aren't they?" he asked, his mood turning black.

"Well, maybe a bit... but the bigger problem here is me."

James grimaced. "Lily..."

She smiled tenderly. "You know, I sort of love it when you say my name."

As determined as she was, she'd said it bashfully. Seeing his expression brought her back to the present.

"James, I know we both have apologies to make to each other and you're right, we should do those sober..."

He shivered against the cold night air.

"...I just...I walk around with a target on my back... as you can see." She smiled dryly. "But blood purists don't discriminate between muggle-born and blood traitor, and anyone who associates with a muggle-born becomes a target too."

James closed his eyes and let his head drop.

"Your blood is pure and your friends are purebloods. You're safe. I'm not. I'd shut myself away if I could, but that would be letting them win."

Merlin alive, he adored her.

"Like I said... I like you," she spoke softly. "I like you too much to let you get hurt by these people, even if it means that I'm unhappy."

"Lily..."

"It's not that I'm too good for you, it's that I'm bad for you."

She broke his heart, over and over, even when she was being lovely. Why was the world cruel to good people? His mother died of misery. Sirius was banished. Remus was in pain. Peter was belittled. And Lily? Lily was the epitome of goodness and kindness. But she, and all other muggle-borns, were being beaten and threatened and hated. James could've hated the world. It would've been easy. But there were too many good people living in it, and Lily reminded him of that every day.

"Lily... whether you're mine or not, I'm all yours."

He'd spoken without looking at her. He spoke to the forest they were hidden in. The voices of their friends had long since dissipated. It was just him and her.

"No-one can scare me away from caring about you, and I'd fight these pricks any day for what they're doing to other people, even if they weren't hurting you."

She wasn't speaking. He took a swig of firewhisky.

"You could do whatever you want to me. I'd follow you anywhere."

He heard her stepping tentatively towards him. He waited for her warm hand to touch his shoulder, but she stopped right beside him and that was it. She was waiting for him to finish.

"It's odd, you know... I spent all my life thinking falling for someone makes you vulnerable and generally it does, but... when I look at you, I feel ready for anything." He looked at her then, at the emotions in her eyes, the thoughts dancing in her mind. Lovely Lily. "Obviously I don't expect you to give a shit about me after the way I've treated people, but... I'll keep you safe."

He felt her hand then, in the crook of his arm, turning him round to face her. To his amazement, she was looking at him in a way that made his heart fill with hope.

She put her hands on his chest. "You'll get hurt."

"It'll be worth it."

He let his argument simmer, but he estimated that she'd made up her mind a while ago. They looked into each other's eyes and silently made a decision together.

A battle plan and love declaration, all at the same time.

As he stepped closer, her arms went around his neck. They held each other and James' heart melted in a way that told him that this was the most natural thing in the world for them. Their arms fit around each other and they breathed in each other's scents appreciatively. Their warmth blocked out the winter.

Her coat was soft and smelled of cigarettes. James knew from a conversation last year that the coat had once been her father's. His smoking habit had killed him, and although Lily hated the smell of smoke, that was what he'd smelt like and the coat smelt of him. James had no idea why he thought of this as he held her but it made him want to pray.

"We'll have a long conversation tomorrow," she said into his shoulder. "One that'll make us happy."

James smiled. "Can't wait."

In the distance, shouting and hollering rose up again. They lifted their heads and looked around. The faint glowing of illuminated wands shone in between the trees. The shouting was less jovial now.

"They're calling us," said James. "I think we won the game."

He looked at Lily, and she looked at him. She leant closer...

"Whoa," James ducked backwards. "We're not going to have our first kiss when we've been drinking. You'll kill me tomorrow."

"Don't be an idiot, Potter," she put her hands either side of his face. "This is it."

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo

A/N: An update within like 10 days is a record for me, and is pretty impressive considering I had to send my laptop off to the laptop doctors and write this on the Notes bit on my phone. I'm going to reward myself by cancelling a social event.

A quick question: As I'm planning to continue the story until Harry is 20, I'm going to skip a few years here and there, and divide the story into three or four chunks of time. It's all planned. Should I put it all on this story and have 100-ish chapters or start a new story and call it Alternative Rebirth II or something? I think if I go with the first plan, I'll end the big chunks by putting END OF CHUNK or whatever at the end of the chapter, then NEXT CHUNK at the beginning of the next one. Or whatever.

Hope you all had a nice Christmas and New Year. Reviews would be Christmas all over again.

N x