Chapter Nine – Open Mouth, Insert Hessian

I am borrowing this title from reviewers Wyndwhyspyr and Kedur's comments. Several comments referencing boots became the guiding direction for this setdown. Thank you for so many lovely comments. It really inspires me to get back to finishing this story.

We are entirely new territory from my original plot line, which never got past the assembly and infamous comment. Nothing from here on out has been reviewed by a beta, so all mistakes are my own – grammar is not my strong suit. I will try to keep the family names as straight as possible. Now, onto a short chapter while I craft Darcy's next move.

Sir Bingley turned his head around so quickly Darcy thought he would experience whiplash. Grabbing Darcy by the elbow, Bingley forcefully dragged Darcy off the Assembly floor and onto the terrace. Darcy's spluttering was no match for Bingley's iron grip.

"Those are most certainly not the words of a gentleman, Darcy! You know better than to utter such balderdash about any woman in a crowded room! Do you and Caroline have a running bet about how long it will take to drive me from Netherfield or the county? Or perhaps both of you have been replaced with spectres? What is it, man?!"

Darcy was taken aback by Bingley's forceful nature. Stuttering, Darcy could only come up with, "But you asked if I was in love!"

"No excuse, Darcy. Is the polish on your hessian boots strong enough to addle your brain? Those thoughts belong at home in the parlour, not on the dance floor, and most definitely not in front of the lady's family."

Darcy hung his head in defeat. "Forgive me, Charles. You asked if I was love-struck by Lady Jane, but I am not." Darcy raised a hand to forestall Bingley's comeback. "She is a pleasant lady but not my cup of tea in looks. Nevertheless, you are right; that was not a comment for any audience."

"And you will be walking back into that Assembly room and going directly to her and her family to apologize!"

Elizabeth wasn't the only one to hear the comment. With Miss Bingley leaving early and Darcy's comment, gossip quickly spreading through the assembly that the Bingley party might not be all they seemed. Sir Bingley's choice of company seemed to be subject at best. Given his friends, aspersions were quickly cast on the potential true temperament of Sir Bingley.

Internally, Elizabeth fumed. What is it with untitled people and forgetting their manners at Assemblies? They should strive to remember the rules of etiquette rather than their own self-importance. Arrogant lot. Either Miss Bingley or Mr. Darcy have never learnt proper conversation, or Koalemus* is running rampant through town.

Elizabeth made her way over to her parents and Jane, who they were overseeing the assembly but discretely watching the terrace as well. Everyone had seen Sir Bingley drag Darcy out the door in a hurry.

Moving next to Jane, Elizabeth whispered, "Having now met our sprites, what verdict shall we give? Was it worth the wait, Jane?"

"I don't know, Elizabeth. Sir Bingley was incredibly amiable and pleasant while we danced. Mr. Darcy made mundane conversation; nothing of import was said during our dances. Bingley's sister and Mr. Darcy were more telling about his character in their actions."

* The Greek god of stupidity