A/N: This song is what inspired this story. I loved it and my mind compared it to a Bella/ Jacob romance, or the attempt of a romance between them when her heart still belonged to Edward. Anyways this chapter is 9 pages/ over 5200 words, hope you like it, please review.

Chapter 2 Champagne Problems

"Sometimes you just don't know the answer

'til someone's on their knees and asks you."

-Champagne Problems

A few days before Christmas we met up for dinner again. Jake helps me unpack all the dishes I made at home so we could add to what Rachel has. Neither of our kitchens are large enough to feed our entire families, let alone two werewolves at once, without some careful planning.

After putting down the last load I call Charlie. He answers after a few rings. "Dad?"

"Yeah Bells?"

"Are you coming? Dinner's ready and we can only hold off the guys so much."

He laughs. "I'm almost there, just passed the first house. I'll see you in a minute." He tells me before hanging up.

I can already hear the engine of the cruiser coming down the dirt road, everything eerily quiet under the blanket of snow covering the town.

I still haven't gone to see Alice and Jasper, but I know they're still here. Alice left a handwritten note in my mailbox with both of their numbers a few days ago. I've been looking at it for days but haven't picked up the phone. I have this sinking feeling that they won't leave until I hear them out, like I owe them anything.

They've been doing their best to give me time and space but I know Alice can only be held off for so long.

. . . And I don't know how to tell Jake. The pack needs to know some of the Cullen's are nearby because of the treaty, but I haven't told Alice and Jasper either. Well not really. Jake and the rest of the pack will wonder why I've kept it a secret. Paul, who's normally easy to anger, will be much worse since they believe the Cullens are dangerous and his imprint is here. He's been much more pleasant since he imprinted so far, but that won't last forever.

Would I be seen as siding with the enemy if I kept it all a secret and it came out anyways?

I haven't been able to eat or sleep. It's almost to the point of where it was when Edward left. The thought still brings my attention to the ever present pain in my chest and I feel like I'm drowning.

I work hard to hide my inner turmoil from my face, forcing a smile.

Charlie comes in and we all settle for dinner, my mind miles away. 15 miles, actually. 15 miles out of town. I barely follow any conversations around me, moving my food around and sneaking it onto Jake's plate when he's distracted.

I have to go see them. I can't stand this not knowing. I'm not the stupid little lovestruck teenager I was before, naive and ever trusting. I'm in charge of myself and my choices, they can't change that.

I deserve an explanation.

I grab the plates near me, planning to deposit them in the sink to clean once everyone leaves.

"Hold on, Bells." Jacob says, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I sit back down, confused.

"I'd like to say something." He clears his throat, standing up. "I'm sure this comes as no surprise to anyone here. I believe I've made my feelings known." There are knowing chuckles from around the table as I take another sip of my now flat coke.

There's a gasp and I turn to see Jacob on one knee. My eyes widened.

"Bella, you have been my best friend for as long as we can remember. You've been my girlfriend for almost three years now. I'm so thankful you finally gave me a chance."

My heart is beating so fast I feel like it might take off. Please don't be what I think this is. I could barely hear him over the blood rushing in my ears.

". . . Will you marry me?" His Mother's ring in one hand, his other outstretched for mine. I feel so stupid for not putting this together earlier, we've been together over three years now, a proposal is the next logical step (no matter how against it I am). I shouldn't be surprised, I shouldn't be hesitating.

I vaguely register the sound of a champagne bottle popping open, but I feel like I'm underwater.

I stand up too quickly, almost toppling my chair over. "I-I. . ."

I thought I knew my answer.

I shouldn't be shocked that it's come to this.

I shouldn't be hesitating.

There's no reason my answer should be anything but a resounding 'yes;' nothing holding me back from the man that's been the best part of my life for the last few years.

"Jake-" Why can't I just say 'yes?'

His eyes were bright and genuine and I realized then that every step I thought I took away from Edward was just wishful thinking. Because I wish Jake was my choice. I wish I could be the one who he deserves and loves him back just as strongly.

Why was I fighting this? I loved him. He loved me. "I love you, Jacob. I love you so much. . . that I-I can't." My voice breaks on the words.

"What?"

I can barely see him from the tears in my eyes. I can feel myself falling apart, ripping at the seams,my heart stuck in a riptide from the moment Edward left..

"I'm sorry. I don't deserve it but I hope you can forgive me someday." My words are a whisper that I know he heard. The room is silent, my words echoing in my ears. "I'm so sorry."

I made my way through the frozen group of our friends and family with my head down, as quickly as I could. My keys were in his room but there's no way I can go back inside. I'm thankful for the key hidden underneath the wheel well now more than ever. I pray my car starts and push it to the max speed as I drive away. What the fuck am I doing?!

There's no doubt in my mind I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him. Not only has he kept me safe from the vampires coming after me, but he brought me back to life. . . If you can call this half empty state a life. He deserves better, someone he doesn't have to hold together. Someone to clean up the heart I broke. Someone who isn't 'fucked in the head' as Paul so eloquently put it when we first got together.

I couldn't even argue with Paul because he was right. There has to be something wrong with me to walk away from what Jake and I have. To still be hung up on a boy that broke my heart at eighteen when someone like Jacob loves me.

He'll find the real thing, the imprint that will make him forget me and the endless problems that follow me. I saw how Paul changed the instant he saw Rachel for the first time. How Jared changed when he met Kim. Jake deserves that.

The driveway is so overgrown that I drive right past it. In the middle of the road I shift into reverse until I see the turn off I haven't seen in three years.

I didn't consciously drive here, but now I can't turn away.

The downstairs lights are on lighting the cobbled path up to their front door.

I wipe my eyes, I don't want them to know I've been crying. That would lead to a line of questioning I don't think I could handle. . . And it's their fault. It's their fault I couldn't say yes to Jake. It's their fault for leaving in the middle of the night, taking with them the life I wanted without so much as a goodbye. As much as I hate myself for hurting Jake, for pulling away from Charlie, I know it started the second I met them, when they took me out of the human world into their own. Something inside me cracked, and I'm afraid I can feel the cracks growing, the carefully built wall around my heart starting to crumble.

When I finally get the nerve, I leave the warm cab of my truck for the freezing rain, walking up the once familiar path to their front door.

I didn't stop to wonder if they would still be here, or even if their offer still stands. . . But we need to talk regardless.

"Bella?" Alice opens the door before I reach it. She looked the same, and yet she didn't. She was still dressed in designer clothing with her hair artfully spiked, but the aura of manic excitement that usually surrounded her was absent. She was more subdued than I'd ever seen her.

I hope the rain hides the fact I've been crying. "Hey, Alice."

She ushers me inside quickly. I hang my coat on their empty coat rack, leaving my wet shoes underneath it. I shiver as I notice Jasper lighting a fire.

When I can't delay it any longer, I look up at the familiar place I once considered a second home. The Cullen house felt different, yet still eerily the same. Gone was the warmth of a family yet it looks like not a day has passed.

"If you don't mind me asking, when did you decide to come over?" She asks, her brows puckered.

"When I drove past your driveway and turned back." I answer truthfully.

She looks distressed. "I couldn't see you. We would have made it more comfortable for you if we knew."

"I'm still welcome, right?" She's making me uneasy. I don't move any further inside.

Jasper blankets the room in calm. "Of course you are welcome here, always. It's as much your home as it is ours." He replies.

"Please don't lie to save my feelings. I know where I stand in your family. But that's not important." I brush off his words, not letting myself believe them. "Why did you need to speak to me. . . now?"

"What do you mean?" I assume she's asking about the first part of my sentence.

"Edward made all your intentions and feelings quite clear." I answer, my eyes on the hair tie I'm spinning around my wrist.

Silence follows my words and I'm left wondering if maybe Jasper had misread some of my fear of them in our previous encounters. I did not fear them as the strong and murderous mythical creatures that they were, I feared them as the once-loving family that had left me broken without a second thought.

I try to break the uncomfortable silence that has blanketed us. "So where have you all been? Or am I not allowed to ask that?" I don't mean for it to come out so bitchy but I feel like I have a right to know.

Jasper chooses to ignore the last part. "We've mostly been in New York, Ithaca to be specific." Ithaca, I think back to the list of small towns I had made when they first left, Ithaca wasn't on the list. "Carlisle works at the university hospital."

Life goes on. Just like He promised.

"That's nice." I don't know how else to respond.

"Edward's been-" he starts.

"I don't want to hear about Ed- him." I cut him off, cursing my voice for breaking. I do want to know but I also know mentally I can't handle it right now. I need to find out why they're here.

"Bella, we don't know what he said to you. That doesn't excuse our actions, though." Alice takes a hand in each of hers, looking at me with a sincerity in her eyes that almost makes me believe her words. "I should have said goodbye to you. I'm so sorry I didn't. At the time all I was focused on was worrying about Jasper but you deserved better."

I'm not going to contradict her but I hope that's not her apology.

"He made me promise not to look for you. I blocked any visions that were coming in until I tried to see you and couldn't anymore."

"That's why you were surprised to see me?" She nods in response to my question. "How did you know I'd be at the airport?"

"We didn't. It was a coincidence. Alice saw you seconds before we caught your scent." Jasper answers.

"Why did you come to see me?" I couldn't skirt around it anymore.

"We, uh, had an encounter with Victoria. Well Edward did. . . How much has Edward told you about the rulers of our world?" Alice asked as she held out her hand toward Jasper.

There's so much to unpack there. "About what?"

"The Volturi." Jasper clarifies as he hands her a piece of paper and a pen.

She sits down on the couch, leaning over the coffee table, her hand like a blur. I answer as I watch her sketch faster than I can keep up. "Not much, it sounds familiar but I don't really remember that name. . . Am I supposed to?"

"No, it's fine. I didn't think you would. He told you in passing the day you came over before the baseball game."

"That was a busy day." I agree wryly.

She smiles briefly before she turns the sketch around.

I recognize the painting she was referring to.

"They're the vampire coven in Italy that Carlisle stayed with before coming to America." She tells me.

"I think I remember."

Jasper sits down next to Alice. "They enforce the rules of the vampire world. Our world," he corrects, "the one we brought you into."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Victoria. . . For some reason she went there. She wanted to hurt Edward like he hurt her by killing James."

I knew her absence wasn't a coincidence, she changed tactics.

"She brought you to their attention."

Add another name to the list of those who want me dead. Hold up. "How would killing me hurt him?" I ask in disbelief.

"He loves you," Alice says, like it should be obvious.

I laugh but there's no humor behind it. "I beg to differ. He told me a very different story."

"We don't have the time it would take to explain what a dumbass Edward is." She says. I shrug, letting her continue. "You're his mate and she wants to kill you."

"Yeah I know that," I rub my forehead as if to push the pain away. "She's been here more times than I can count but the wolves never let her get close enough. . . I wish she would just get it over with so I can stop worrying about her hurting my friends and family." I replied casually.

A pause. "What?" They both say.

"Which part?" I guess they weren't expecting that answer. "Victoria has been here. Why did she give up? It was only a matter of time."

"I think she realized she could possibly get rid of our whole family. She told them that we revealed to you that we are vampires and left you. If you're not a vampire when they come and check then they'll kill you. . ." She pauses before continuing. "Would you?"

"Would I what?" I ask her, obviously not catching onto her vague clues.

"Would you let us turn you to save your life?"

I let her words roll around in my mind for a minute. "I'm not particularly enjoying my life as it is at the moment, can't you just kill me instead?" I ask bluntly. Maybe then it would be easier for Jake to move on.

"Bell-" Jasper starts but Alice cuts him off.

"It's Charlie. He wants to know where you are." She says right before my cell rings.

I take a deep breath before answering, hoping my voice doesn't sound as conflicted as my mind. "Hey, Dad." I knew it was only a matter of time until I heard from him but dinner feels like a lifetime ago.

"Where are you? You should have made it home by now." I can hear the concern in his voice. "I just got here and you're nowhere to be found."

"I went for a drive. I just needed to think."

"Everyone's worried Bells, what happened?"

"You saw what happened, Dad. You were at the table." I rub my temples, wanting to avoid this conversation in general, but especially in present company.

"But things with you and Jake were going so well. You pulled this out of nowhere."

"I didn't. Not really. Dad, can we talk later?"

"I'm just worried about you, Bells."

"I know." I hang up before he can ask any more questions. Jasper and Alice looked curious but I shook my head. "It's nothing." Nothing I want to get into, with them or anyone else.

"So, um back to what we were saying before, Alice can turn you, or Carlisle if you're worried."

"Why would I want to live forever? It was different before. I had the love of my life, my best friend, and a family I could only dream of. . . It's not the same now." I admit, pulling at a frayed string on my sleeve. I wasn't in favor of feeling this way forever. "I don't have any of that so I might as well stay human, regardless of the consequences." I don't even have Jacob anymore because I screwed that up too.

"What if I can promise you it'll be different?" Alice offers.

"How can I trust you would tell me the truth?" My phone rings again and I notice Alice looking at Jasper and I am immediately suspicious. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I've been having trouble seeing you in my visions. Take it," she motioned to my cell.

I see Jake's name and picture flash across my screen and I take a shaky breath. "Jake." I answer.

He sighs in relief when I speak. "Bella, God I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for Jake. I should be apologizing to you." I tell him softly, trying not to hurt him anymore than I already have. I wished I could be who Jake would want me to be.

Every day I had spent with him I felt a persistent desire to be better for him. I wanted to be the person who could make him as happy as he deserved to be. At one point, I had been getting there. . . Or so I thought. Was it just wishful thinking on my part all along?

"I knew we weren't ready. I just wanted to make it special and I know you hate being the center of attention." He apologizes and I feel like the worst person ever.

"It wasn't anything you did." I want to assure him but doubt he's really listening to me right now.

"Where are you? I'll come and we can talk. No more proposals, I promise." I can hear the desperation in his voice and know I can't string him along any farther.

I wipe my eyes, my voice cracking. "Jake I can't." All I can see is Jake's crestfallen face, holding his mother's ring in front of all our friends and family. I was so selfish stringing this along. Thinking eventually I would love him like he loves me. I'd love him enough. As if I'd ever be capable of that.

"And I said you don't have to."

"That doesn't change anything. You deserve better."

"It's because of him, isn't it?"

I appreciated Alice and Jasper giving me a semblance of privacy. "What do you want me to say? Yes, he broke my heart and I love him? No, it's because I don't love you? What answer will make my words hurt you the least?" I ask. "What do you want me to say?"

"They're just words. I don't care about any reasons, I want you, Bella." He insists.

"Listen to Paul. I'm fucked in the head and I'm going to end up getting everyone killed." I tell him, my words are truer now than he could ever know.

"Don't listen to fucking Paul." He scoffs. "I'll kill him, even if it would hurt Rachel. This has been a long time coming." He mutters the last part under his breath.

"I don't listen to Paul, it's just an example. He's not the only one who's said it. Hell, Jake. I've said it!" I pinch the bridge of my nose, wishing this wasn't so hard. "I can't give you a reason that will negate the pain I've caused, the carnage I've left behind." I told him. "I'm sorry. That doesn't begin to cover it but it's true. I never wanted to hurt you, never knew what I'd say if you proposed. . . Please, Jake." Let it go. Let me go.

"Bella-" he starts to say as Alice enters from the living room.

"I have to go." I hang up before I lose my nerve. . . or start to cry again.

"Do you want to talk about it? I know I've done a shitty job of showing it but you will always be my best friend and the best younger sister I could ask for. . ." She trails off when I don't respond. "I'm here if you want to talk."

"Thanks, Alice. But I can't talk about it, not right now." I mutter as I turn my head to subtly wipe the tears from my eyes. I don't think I'd ever be able to talk to Alice about this. . . or anything else. She wouldn't understand.

". . . So do you?"

My brow crinkles. "Do I what?"

"Do you still love him?" She asks softly. "Do you still love my brother, after everything?"

I shake my head, willing myself not to cry again. I've cried enough tears over him to last a lifetime.

I found myself wondering what my life would have been like had Edward not left. Would I be one of them by now? I'm sure I would still be whole, the gaping wound in my chest that I had now would be nonexistent. . . But would I be happy? I knew the answer immediately. Yes, I would have been very happy. I had loved him and his family with all my heart and I knew that my life, whether human or vampire, would have been wonderful.

"I could never stop." I admit in a pathetic mumble. "I wasn't the one who walked away." I couldn't eat, I still can't sleep, Edward infected every part of me like a virus. "I wish I didn't. God knows it wouldn't hurt this much if I didn't. . . But it's not that simple Alice," my eyes focused on my hands, clenched tightly in my lap.

Whatever magic it was that bound him to immortality also bound me to him. I couldn't be whole without him, and as much as I tried, I can't stop loving him with the entirety of my being.

I could see my words gave Alice a hope I haven't felt myself in years. "You know how Carlisle is, he would never take a life that had another choice, but you do not have a choice anymore. You never really did, no matter what my idiot brother wanted to believe. He might be willing to bring the Volturi down on this family, but I am not, we are not. Fate has already decided."

I let her lead us back to the living room that looks just as immaculate as it did four years ago, like not even a day went by. No dust or dust covers, the fire in the fireplace warming the room and bathing everything in a warm glow. Jasper was seated on the loveseat, one leg crossed as he watched us. Alice sat down on the couch, pulling me down next to her.

Alice sat quietly for a moment, the only sound in the room being my loud heart and shallow breath as she gathered her thoughts. "I've missed you, Bella. For what it's worth. I don't know if I can ever apologize enough, but I won't stop. Not until we can at least be friends again. You're my sister, Bella."

I wasn't promising anything. I had to protect what little scraps that were left of my heart. I didn't respond to her words, changing the subject before I say I forgive her when I haven't.

There's no point putting off the inevitable. I hate my lack of hesitation but I can't knowingly put everyone here at risk. Not anymore. I've been selfish for too long. "How long do I have?" I muster up the courage to ask. There's no question that I'll go with them. The danger is after me, if I leave hopefully it'll follow.

"I can't get a definite time frame but there's no longer snow on the ground. We're all together at our house in Ithaca." Alice tells me.

"I need a few days. . . for Charlie. Would New Years work?" I ask them.

"We can work with that."

Regardless of whether I decide to be changed into a vampire or not, I know I can't let anyone come here. The only guaranteed way to keep them all safe is if I leave. Jake would make sure Charlie was okay. They'd be better off without me anyways.

"Bella?" Jasper's brow is furrowed as he no doubt feels my chaotic emotions.

"Sorry. I'll try and control it." I mutter as I stare at my hands.

I can't argue that the road not taken looks real good now. What could have been if Edward still loved me. What could have been if I loved Jake like he loved me. Would we live in a little place in La Push, little brown hair, brown eyed children running around us as we grew old together?

"I want to be clear, I'm doing this for Charlie and everyone else here. I can't have anyone come here looking for me." I tell them. Regardless of the fact that this entire story could be made up, Victoria was still out there and had been too quiet for too long. "No one can know the real story. I need a cover that no one will question or look into." I was doing it. I knew exactly what I was walking into, I knew exactly how it would end, and I was still doing it.

Any pain I feel will be well worth it to save everyone else. If Edward doesn't want me there. . . I'm sure I can find someplace where I can end this, someone, the pack even. I know Jake would never give the order but I'm sure I could convince Paul or Sam.

"We can come up with something."

Something deep inside me says that they wouldn't lie, not about this, and I find myself believing two people I thought I'd never see again.

I nod in agreement at her words but can't offer any enthusiasm at the thought of what's to come.

"Bella-" Alice starts.

"No Alice, this isn't a manifestation of my depression, it's acceptance. I've lived on borrowed time since I got here. It's time I put someone else before myself for a change, so that's what I'm going to do. With Charlie, with Jacob, with everyone."

I look down at my phone, noting how much time has passed. I'll need to leave soon.

"So you haven't been able to see me?"

"I've gotten bits and flashes. I've never experienced anything like it before. Carlisle believes our powers only grow, never fade with time."

"Well Carlisle does know all." I didn't mean to sound so bitchy but I couldn't help it. The man was once the father I needed in all the ways Charlie was not, but he left without even saying goodbye.

"It's like all of Forks comes in flashes, like looking through a dirty broken window. And it's only been since we left."

"It's probably the werewolves." I mutter, the only noticeable change since their departure.

"Excuse me?" Jasper looks concerned. "I thought you were exaggerating before."

I guess they weren't here the last time the Cullens were. "There's nothing to joke about, Jasper." I sigh.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you find out?" He asks.

I shrug. "The same way I figured out what you guys were." My mouth feels dry and I am having trouble swallowing the lump in my throat. "Do, um, are there cups in the kitchen?"

Jasper stands up, nodding at me and leading the way to the kitchen. "Alice and I stocked the fridge with snacks and drinks in case you came by."

"Oh," I didn't expect that. "Thanks." I say when he hands me a chilled bottle of water.

The three of us stand in the kitchen in silence, there's nothing more to say.

"I should get going, Charlie is going to worry."

Alice wraps her arms around me and this time I hug her back. Even if I'm still mad, I've missed my once best friend. "You should take some NyQuil tonight, I see you having trouble sleeping."

I laugh. "I always have trouble sleeping but I'll consider it."

"If you want to come by tomorrow we can work it all out." Jasper offers.

"I'll try. . . I think it'd be easier if no one else knows you're back, or that you're involved in me leaving."

Charlie's waiting up when I get home, a half empty beer in the cup holder of his chair that I got him for his 40th birthday this year, a baseball game playing silently on the flatscreen Jake and I got him last Christmas.

"It's getting late," he notes as I lock the door behind me.

"Sorry." Hopefully Charlie reads the discomfort and worry on my face as a result of Jacob's earlier proposal.

"Where've you been?" I can tell he's trying to gauge my mood.

"I've been driving around. . . trying to clear my head." I sit down on the sofa, unlacing my boots before drawing my legs up underneath me. "Sorry I ran off before."

"It's fine, you're an adult. I just wish you didn't feel the need to." I don't know what to say to that. I can't promise it won't happen again because in a few days it will. "I, uh, got your truck key back. Jake said you left it in his room."

"Thanks." I'd forgotten completely, my mind well past dinner tonight.

"Do you want to talk?" He offers.

I shake my head. "Not right now. I'm exhausted, I think I'll head to bed."

"Whatever you say, kid. I have to work tomorrow but I should be home for dinner. I can pick up something from the diner on the way home."

"Sounds good, Dad. Thanks." I lean in to kiss his cheek when I pass, catching him by surprise.

As much as I want to spend every spare minute with my father, I need time to process this day before I fall apart completely. So much has changed in a few short hours.

A/N: Please Review :)