A/N: The airport chapter (finally), part one of two at least. Seven pages long on my computer in case anyone was wondering. I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter of this and/ or If I Get Burned because it really made me want to write and write faster. The major plot points (Such as what happened with Mike and Renee (as mentioned in this chapter)) for the next few chapters of this have already been written so I just need to string them all together. I'm hoping this means I'll be able to update again soon but my college classes this semester start next week and honestly, I'm already a little overwhelmed. That being said I'm still fully committed to these stories (and another one I'm in the process of writing).

Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think!

It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time.

Breathe in, breathe through,

Breathe deep, breathe out.

I'll be getting over you my whole life.

Labyrinth - Taylor Swift

Chapter 8: The Place We Were Made

I pull up to the diner, parking next to Charlie's cruiser. He must already be inside. I take a moment to gather myself, wiping the cold tears from my eyes.

It's a small little diner that's been here since the 50s and I have to wonder if we end up moving back here in a hundred years if this little diner will still be here.

Charlie spots me the second I walk in, the little bell over the door ringing as he waves me over.

The warmth of the diner is welcoming and I'm able to shed my big coat on a spare chair.

"Hey kid, how was your day?"

"It was good. I went over to Jake's and gave him his Christmas present. Ran into Sue, too. She gave me a bag of fish fry for you."

"Did you get to say your goodbyes?"

I glance up from where my hands were wrapped around a warm cup of tea. "Some," I eventually say. "I only really ran into Sue and Emily. . . And Emily still isn't talking to me." She hadn't, not since I broke things off with Jake. Our friends chose sides and I couldn't fault them for that, not when I hurt him so much.

"She'll get over it soon, I'm sure. Your Mom had her fair share of mood swings in her third trimester, and kicked me out a few times, too."

I nod, "I know." Emily and I had been pretty close for a while until our lives took us in other directions as she built a life with Sam that I knew was never in the cards for me, with or without Jake.

"Don't worry, Bells. I'm sure by the time you come home for a break she'll be eager to catch up like old times." Charlie said, taking a drink from his steaming cup of coffee.

The waitress came to take our orders, thankfully putting an end to our conversation. I didn't want to tell him that I don't know when I can come back, because I know I won't be able to come back.

"How was work?"

"Nothing much, someone reported a robbery of their neighbor's house but we're still short-staffed because of the holidays so we weren't able to get very far with it. I plan to interview a few people tomorrow, see if anyone's seen anything out of the ordinary." He tells me.

"Why didn't the people whose house was robbed report it?"

Dad sighed. "A lot of people don't trust the police these days. And I can't say I blame them. A few bad cops make all of us look bad."

"I think it was more than a few."

"Regardless, I think they were also out when the crime took place, the neighbor just happened to see it." He says. "Never leave the boxes for expensive purchases in front of your house, like a new tv and crap like that. Promise me, I know you'll be moving into a dorm and all that and I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I promise, Dad. I'm sure we have dumpsters or something anyways but I'll break down any boxes to hide the contents or whatever before I throw them away."

"Good."

Our conversation lulls when the waitress brings out our meals.

After a few bites, Charlie continues. "But enough about me, Bella. Are you excited for tomorrow?"

I take a sip from my mug to hide my grimace. "I hate flying, it's always so stressful but I guess I'm excited for what New York has in store." Not a complete lie, though I don't know if excited is the right word.

Will Edward be there? Do I want him to be? Did Alice tell him I found his note declaring everything he said in the woods that day was a lie? It was on my list of things to worry about on the plane to New York. It was a long list, one I wasn't likely to get through on the roughly five-hour flight tomorrow.

"Got any of your school friends to say goodbye to?"

I shook my head, "no, not really. Angela and Ben are still in Seattle and I haven't talked to Mike much at all since. . . You know?"

"Saw his Mother at the bank the other day, she said he's doing better and should be back home sometime soon."

"That's good. Mike deserves to be happy."

Charlie grunts, still suspicious of Mike after all these years. "I still think you need to stay away from that boy."

"I'm leaving tomorrow, Dad, when would I even have the time to see him if I wanted to?"

This seemed to appease him and he let it go. It was for the best anyways, I can't have him digging any deeper into what I'm saying lest a target appears on his back.

"How is everything?" The waitress asks us as she refills Charlie's cup.

"Great, as always." He tells her.

I grab her attention before she walks away asking her if she'd mind taking a picture of us with my phone. Charlie wraps his arm around my shoulders and I wrap mine around his waist as the phone's camera flashes.

"Thank you," I tell her when she hands me the phone back.

"Congratulations again, Bella. We will all miss you around here."

I smile politely but don't know what to say and it's not long before we're headed home, Charlie leading the way in the cruiser.

When we got back home we decided to pack the Christmas decorations away. Normally we keep them up longer but I didn't want my Dad to have to put everything away himself after I leave. We also normally have Jacob to help so neither of us has to climb on a ladder. But Charlie does the work of taking everything off the tree while I wrap the glass balls back in the tissue paper they were held in since last year. The last item was the tree skirt that I draped over the top of the ornament boxes for Charlie to bring up to the attic. I didn't trust myself to carry the fragile boxes, let alone carry them while also climbing up a ladder.

I was selfish enough not to want reality to ruin our last night together. So instead of wishing Jake was here to make me stay or thinking about tomorrow, I settled myself on the couch in Charlie's living room where Jake and I had spent so many days, my Dad leaning back in his recliner with a beer in his hand as we watched some game on tv together for the last time.

Time still passed, though, quicker than I wanted it to, and all too soon I couldn't hold off on trying to sleep any longer. I couldn't make this day last forever, reality can't be avoided. Slowly, I climb the stairs to my bedroom. I pause in the doorway, my heart sinking when I see the empty room. Forks would forever be the place I considered my true home, my first home. It would be the place where I fell in love and got my heart broken, where my world was forever changed.

My anxiety kept me up most of the night wondering how many sleeps I'll have left until I didn't need to sleep anymore, letting myself be comforted by the familiar sound of Charlie's snoring. It was nothing like Jake's, who could rattle the windows. There were quite a few nights that Billy found me asleep on their couch with tissues in my ears.

The morning came quickly after another night of tossing and turning. I was thankful that the tickets Alice bought weren't for the first thing in the morning, I didn't have to be at the airport in Port Angeles until eleven. I cooked Charlie breakfast and reminded him of all the precooked dinners I made for him and froze in the freezer, each one with easy-to-follow directions for him printed on top.

He left around nine, going in a few hours late so we could say goodbye this morning. He slipped a few folded bills in my hand but when I went to protest he pulled me into a hug. I wrap both of my arms around Charlie as tightly as I can, hoping he can feel how much I love him, and how thankful I am that I came to live with him in this dreary little town I used to despise.

"You're not going forever, Bells." He laughs.

Oh, how wrong he is. "I know," I lie. "I'm just going to miss you, Dad." I inhale the scent of him, hoping to sear it into my memory. "Thank you for letting me come live with you."

"I wish you came sooner."

"So do I," I tell him honestly. "I wish Renee never took me away. I wish I could have grown up with you, here."

I can see a blush beginning to cover his cheeks. He rubs the back of his neck. "Even with all the rain?"

I laugh. "It grew on me." I pause. "And the sun isn't all that it's cracked up to be."

"Have you told your Mother?"

I shake my head. "She doesn't want to talk to me, Dad. She's busy living her life now and I'm not a part of it. It's easier this way." I don't want to think about Renee right now, that was something else I could put off thinking about until I'm on the plane.

"Since when did you go for the 'easy way,' kid?"

"Since she has a new life."

"I'll let it go, I know you hate talking about it but she loves you, Bells, even if she has a shitty way of showing it."

"I know." That wasn't a lie, I know, in her own way, Renee cares and loves me. It's just easier this way.

"I want you to call me when you get to your dorm, let me know you're safe. And pictures, too, so I know no one stole your phone."

I roll my eyes but agree. "I will, I promise." Calling I could do, and pictures wouldn't be that hard. I could take some blurry photos to hide the fact that I'm a vampire I'm sure, and I know Alice would be willing to help. Before he goes, he helps me carry my two suitcases and the mini backpack that would hold my wallet and such.

I watch from the open front door as Charlie drives away. Once he's no longer in sight I wipe my eyes, intent on washing my face so Jacob won't be able to tell I had cried. Again.

Break up, break free.

Breakthrough, break down.

You would break your back to make me break a smile.

Labyrinth - Taylor Swift

It wasn't long before Jake got there, a coffee from our favorite little coffee shop in La Push in his hand like a peace offering.

I wanted the coffee so bad I could kiss him, but I didn't. "Thanks," I tell him as I take the still-steaming cup from him, his hands having kept it warm for me.

"Well I know how you are without your coffee and I figured if I wanted to survive this trip to the airport I should come prepared."

I shove him, though he barely registers it.

"Anyways, as a wise person once said 'You don't need an inspirational quote. You need coffee."

"Hear, hear," I agree, toasting my cup against his. It was a stupid quote we saw at this little coffee shop one day and it became an inside joke just for us.

"You ready to go?"

I take one more look around the small living room and force myself to pull away, assuring Jake that I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

"You're saying goodbye like you don't plan to come back." He noted.

I cringed internally but fight to keep my expression neutral. "I don't know what the future holds, Jake. You know I- I never cared much for Forks. Maybe Ithaca will feel like someplace I really belong." If I say it enough, maybe I'll start to believe it.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

"Maybe a little of both but that doesn't change anything," I say.

"You know, I'm still not happy you're leaving. . . but I want you to know I'm damn proud of you and I better be invited to your graduation."

I knew how hard that was for him to say, and how I wish I could do just that.

The note I wrote to Jacob still weighed heavily in my pocket. I planned to leave it on the floor of my truck when he drops me off in Port Angeles later.

I'm sorry, Jake. I know I've said it endlessly but no amount of time feels like enough. I want to call you my Jacob, but you're not mine anymore. I set you free, free of me and my problems, take this gift for everything it's cost me to give it to you. You're my daylight, my sunshine after being stuck in what I thought for sure was a never-ending dark night. I know you don't understand why I have to leave. But I also know one day you'll find the girl that is perfect for you, that's everything I could never be. She'll love you with her whole heart and she'll patch up your tapestry that I shred. You deserve someone better than me. I saw how Paul changed the instant he saw Rachel for the first time. How Jared changed when he met Kim, you deserve a love like that. Just because we didn't work doesn't mean this was meaningless to me, we were never really meant to be (and I know that rhymes but that doesn't mean it's not true). You saved me countless times and you kept me alive against all odds. You are my best friend, always and in another life, we belong together and it would be you and me against the world. I'll always love you, Jacob, even if it's not as husband and wife. Thank you, Bella.

I wished I had just grabbed him and thanked him for everything he gave up to love me despite. . . He loved me despite. Despite me not seeing anything but Edward. Despite me being broken and damaged. None of that ever mattered to him but he deserved to love someone with no strings attaching them to the past.

All that I know is: no matter how far away,

this is the place we were made.

I know every streetlight, and maybe the colors will fade.

This is the place we were made.

By the late nights and fires on the beach.

Made by the small-town secrets we'd keep.

All that I know is: no matter how far away. . .

This is the place we were made.

The Place We Were Made - Maisie Peters

My heart felt like it was caught in my throat as the signs for William R. Fairchild Airport came closer and closer. I looked over at Jacob before quickly looking away. I'm doing this for him. I'm doing this for Charlie. After today I wouldn't hurt them anymore.

My truck slowed to a stop and Jacob put it in park. Silently, we both got out. I put my purse backpack on my back, leaving his note on the passenger side of the floor. I wanted him to find it, but not until I was gone.

With one hand he grabs each of my suitcases from the bed. I wrap my arms around him and barely a moment later he has me in a bear hug, my feet off the ground as I hold onto him for dear life. "Jake!" Heat emanated from him and warmed me completely in the brisk winter air.

"Sir you can't park here, this is a loading zone." An officer came to break up our goodbye. Neither of us was very happy about it but it was a big day for traveling.

"Sure, sure," Jake dismissed him, placing me back on my feet.

"I should get going," I tell him, the officer's eyes still trained on us. I take a step back from Jake and grab both of my suitcases, one in each hand.

"Why does this feel so final?"

I don't answer.

"You're not coming back are you?"

As much as his realization is hurting him, it's breaking me. I can't answer him, I can't meet his eyes.

"Bella," I felt Jacob's hand grab my wrist. I tried to tug it loose, but he only held on tighter. I could easily force him to let go, but it would cause a bigger scene.

"Let me go, Jacob."

"Sir I am going to have to insist you move your car, you can not stay parked here."

Jacob let go of me to turn his blazing eyes toward the poor officer only trying to do his job. I could see a tremor of anger rip through his body, something he's had good control over for years now.

I place my hand on his chest, still able to feel the heat through his thin shirt. A relationship as long as ours made it impossible not to hurt at the sight of his pain but I couldn't take it away. "Go home, please. Take care of Charlie for me. Go, Jake."

His eyes meet mine and I could see the effort it would take him to walk away. He leans down to kiss my cheek before getting back in my truck and driving away.

I stand on the little sidewalk outside the doors until I can't see the faded red of my truck anymore before dragging my suitcases behind me.

I shouldn't have been surprised that when I went to check my suitcase I was given a seat upgrade to first class. I was mad for a minute before I remembered how I was uprooting my entire life for the Cullens and a seat upgrade was really the least they could do.

It wasn't a big airport so security didn't take all that long, and after I made sure that my gate did in fact exist I moved on to my next most important task.

The best part of airports? The fact that no one looks at you funny if you're at the bar at eleven in the morning.

"You even twenty-one?" The bartender asked as I took the bar stool farthest from the other customers.

"Is that your attempt at flirting with me?" I hadn't been carded in a while, even though I was only 22. It takes me a minute to finagle my ID out of my wallet.

"What'll you have, Miss?"

I glance behind him at the menu of their more popular drink concoctions, "what do you suggest?"

"How about a mimosa or poinsettia? Sweet without an overdose of sugar."

"Sure, I'll have one of each."

"Do you want to start a tab?"

"No," I hand him my card, "it's probably better if I don't or I'll end up missing my flight." Wouldn't that be funny?

"Where're you heading?"

"Seattle than New York." I tell him taking a sip of the cranberry juice and champagne. "Mmm, that's good."

Jake and I normally stuck to rum and coke, cheap and easy and simple.

"Have you been to New York before?"

I shook my head. "First time. I'm meeting some, um, friends in Seattle before we head out together, moving there actually." I need to get my mind off of said meeting when we arrive in Ithaca. I think I've been pretty successful in keeping my mind otherwise occupied this past week but with the countdown clock slowly counting down the reunion that's coming I can't seem to think of anything else. Though I wasn't crying after my second drink it felt like a worse pain than crying. I felt numb. I felt empty. Like I'd endured so much pain today that it was physically impossible to feel any more emotions than I already had and it was not even noon yet. Jasper is in for as painful a journey as I am.

Part of me wants nothing more than to go back to how things were September 12th, the happy family I thought I was a part of and the love of my life by my side. . . Another part of me wanted to hit him so hard! I deserve an explanation that his little note didn't give. I wanted to know what these "lies" he told were exactly and why he thought I didn't deserve a say in my own life. I wanted to know why everyone else went with him without so much as a goodbye. Fuck.

I debated getting the bartender's attention for another drink before I heard over the intercom system that the 12:15 flight to Seattle Tacoma Airport would begin boarding soon. Maybe I'll get another drink on the plane.

I get to board in the first group along with the elderly and young children but let them all go ahead of me. Why wouldn't they load planes from the back forward?

Regardless, I take my seat after struggling to fit my carry-on bag into the overhead compartment, a line of tires and testy passengers waiting impatiently behind me. I don't understand why every part of air travel from security to baggage claim has to be stressful but I'll be happy when this is all over.

The plane starts to speed down the runway as I say a silent goodbye to the only place that ever felt like home.

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