A/N; This is mostly down to co-writer, JellybeanChiChi - though maybe a line, or a paragraph of what I wrote, did make an appearance. I LOVE this chapter :D Jelly did an amazing job!

CHAPTER 41

As Sara turned the corner to head up the stairs with a laundry basket, she heard a noise that made her want to cringe.

A toddler sneeze that undoubtedly involved snot. And by the sound of Daniel's two huge sneezes, there probably was double the amount of snot.

Gross, wet, worse-than-saliva snot. What makes matters worse, was in the two-seconds she spent imagining the snot, Sara envisioned Daniel had now recovered from the sneeze and was spreading said snot all over his face.

With a defeated sigh, Sara put down the basket on one of the steps and trudged to the living room where Daniel was on the floor and Grissom rested on the couch. While she was still a few steps from the room, she watched as Grissom disappeared from view and slid off the couch.

Sara stepped closer and heard him say, "OK, buddy, let me see those nasty hands." He had grabbed a few tissues from a box on the couch and quickly dried the boy's hands. He then took a few more tissues, and deftly wiped the snot from Daniel's nose, making sure not to spread it more. "You know, it's better if we get this done together. Mommy does not like snot." Grissom made an underhanded basketball throw to get the used tissues in the nearby wastebasket. Then he got a few more clean tissues and maneuvered them under Daniel's nose. "Come on, buddy. Look at daddy." Grissom made a face and blew air out of his nose hoping Daniel would mimic him.

Daniel giggled, but also seemed to try and blow air out of his nose. If anything, what he did instigated another sneeze, one that Grissom was prepared for. The tissue covered Daniel's nose disallowing any stray snot strings from going too far. "Atta boy, Dan. That was a big one. Mommy will be glad she missed it."

"You can say that again," Sara said with a smile just out of earshot. She was ready to help Grissom up but then her cellphone rang. Recognizing the caller ID, she moved into the kitchen to take the call. "Hey, Karson."

"How are you Sara?"

"OK. Is something wrong?"

"Well, in a way," Karson said, cryptically. "How would you like to come back to work?"

The news took Sara aback. "Back to work? Are you saying I am off suspension? But why? Is there another suspect?"

"We're shorthanded, Sara," Karson said, hoping his tone and voice and avoidance of directly answering her question would cause Sara not to inquire much more about specifics.

It didn't completely work. "Why are you so shorthanded? Is everyone OK?"

"Sara, I… Why don't we start over, OK?"

"OK," Sara said, extending the last syllable.

"I talked to Sheriff Ecklie and he agreed to take you off suspension and I thought you would be excited about that… Like shocked into silence excited?"

It was that last line that worked. Sara knew there was a lot at play but it would seem her supervisor's hands were tied in regards to talking about specifics.

But that didn't mean she couldn't try to get just a little more information. "Well yeah, I'm excited. … So shorthanded… that's at least a couple of CSIs. I'm guessing a pretty bad bug must be going around. But should I be worried that some kind of flu is contagious so I don't get Daniel or Grissom sick? Especially Grissom. The two of us look forward to clear … sinuses"

Karson chuckled. She just can't stop digging. "Actually what's going on here might just clear your sinuses. Hard work does that you know?" He waited a beat before asking again, "So, you interested in getting off suspension?"

"Yes. I would," she said.

After she got off the phone, Sara wanted to share the good news with Grissom, but she had to make another phone call first. "Yes, hello. This is Sara Sidle Grissom. Is Mr. Jacobsen in?"

He always heard parenthood was all about creativity but he had never thought he would have to be so creative picking his kid off the floor.

Grissom remained on the floor with Daniel as Sara took her phone call. But Daniel seemed restless, and Grissom thought it was because he was getting hungry for his mid morning snack. He wanted to pick him up and get to the kitchen, but in his current position that was easier said than done. While he arms felt better every day, he still wasn't sturdy enough to pick up a child and raise himself up without putting too much pressure on his knee.

Hence the necessity of creativity.

Thinking it over, he figured his best bet would be to do things in steps. First he picked up Daniel and turned his body while still sitting on his butt to place his son on the couch. "Don't move," he said firmly but gently.

In response, Daniel smiled said "Da" and then immediately turned around and worked to pull himself up in a standing position.

Still sitting on the floor, his son's cute, yet defiant, reaction made Grissom slump even more. He hoped the boy wouldn't scoot too much as Grissom worked to rise from the floor.

"Moving when you ask him not to move is kind of his calling card," Sara said as she sat down on the couch.

"That might not bode well for the future," Grissom said. "I think he's hungry and I was trying to take him to the kitchen…"

"You should have called for help," Sara said, firmly but gently. She helped him stand while the two kept an eye on Daniel.

"I honestly thought you were on the phone," Grissom said as he stood up straight and stretched, reflexively letting out a small groan. "You want me to get Daniel?"

"I got him," Sara said as she hitched the boy on her hip.

"Who called?" he asked while walking to the kitchen.

"Karson," she answered as she slid Daniel in his high chair.

Grissom, who had grabbed their water pitcher out of the refrigerator, had a worried face as he placed it on the counter and reached in the cabinet for a sippy cup. "Is something wrong?"

After grabbing the two jars of baby food she sought from the pantry, she stood next to him at the counter. "Actually, something is finally right." Her point seemed to be punctuated by the popping noise when she released the jar's freshness seal. "I'm off suspension."

She almost felt greedy enjoying the look of her husband. He stood shocked and introspective at that news while his right hand seemed suspended in mid air as it gripped the small Blue's Clues safety spoon he used to feed Daniel. After a brief moment, he finally shook his head. When he spoke he couldn't hide his flustered anxiety. "Did he say?… I mean that's great, Sara… You think it has something to do…"

Sara took the spoon from his hand then took his hands into her own. "He wouldn't tell me anything definitively except he was short personnel and Ecklie agreed to take me off suspension. But I think he was trying to tell me… without telling me… that it has something to do with your case, Gil."

"But we don't know that for sure…"

"I know you don't want to jinx anything or have false hope, but, I think something's happening. So after I got off the phone with Karson I called Wilbur."

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma."

Banging fists of an impatient and hungry baby followed the symphony of single syllables. It sparked Grissom to gather up the spoon and jars and sit in front of the high chair. As Grissom settled everything ready to serve, Daniel kicked his feet excitedly while Sara put a bib on him from behind.

Grissom spooned peaches into Daniel's eager mouth. "Did you talk to Wilbur?"

"I did," she said preparing Daniel's bottle of milk for after his snack. "He found the news to be very positive and he wanted to make sure you knew that."

"Could just be the flu," Grissom said, as he continued to feed Daniel. "If he was really short staffed, Conrad must have finally realized you did nothing wrong so it was time you were let off suspension."

"I thought that too," Sara said as she grabbed a chair and sat next to Grissom, "which is why I asked if I should be concerned because you and I really appreciate clear sinuses."

Grissom gave Sara the side eye. "What are you talking about?"

"You know," Sara started, gesturing quote marks with her hands, "clear sinuses."

This time Grissom turned toward her. "Are you doing OK? You haven't developed allergies, have you? Is that why you've been drinking so many smoothies?"

"Hon, no… I'm pregnant… You really don't get what I was trying to say? Clear sinuses? Get it? Clear?" She was met with his patented blank look. "Grissom! Read between the lines. I can't believe you don't get it. Karson did. That's why he said our sinuses would get cleared at work. And that's why Wilbur found the news as positive."

She practically waggled her eyebrows at him and despite not being at the top of his game and waking up each morning counting down the hours until he would inevitably return to prison, her cryptic meaning finally dawned on him.

He just didn't know how much hope to pin on what she said. But he didn't need to give voice to that. He returned to feeding Daniel. "Not sure you guys should quit your day job for code talking."

It wasn't a dig; it was a tease, and it warmed Sara's heart. He might not want to admit it was a sliver of hope but Sara could feel his aura of tension subside. But then, something else dawned on Grissom.

"What did you say?"

"About what? You were the one insulting my code-talking skills."

"No," Grissom said, as he put down the spoon, and turned his attention to Sara. "You're pregnant?"

Sara sat speechless. She didn't even realize she said that. "I said that?"

Grissom smiled at the precious look on Sara's face — her "oh shit" face.

"So? Pregnant, huh?" he asked.

Sara noticed how quite pleased he looked at asking the question. Sara nodded with a huge smile of her own. "I've been wanting to tell you. It's almost slipped out so many times. I never knew when was the right time. I guess… now was the right time." She grabbed his hands. "You happy?"

His smile became softer and he leaned into her and just as he was to kiss her, the impatience of an 11-month-old broke their spell.

Their foreheads against each other, Sara had to laugh. "His highness is still hungry."

Grissom pulled away, picked up the Blue's Clues spoon and finished feeding Daniel.

When Daniel was ready for the crib, Sara expertly put him down without waking him. She stood by the crib and was surprised to feel Grissom's warm hand slide down her arm. It brought up goosebumps, a reaction Grissom witnessed. "I haven't really told you how much you mean to me. I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately, Sara. I just feel so… defeated… I don't feel like myself and I don't feel I'm … enough for you two… now you three."

Sara knew it would take some time for Grissom and their strained relationship to heal fully, but hearing his words and witnessing Grissom's efforts to reach out served as a much needed balm for her heart. She said nothing as she put her arms around his neck and silenced him with a kiss.

Then Sara fought the threat of tears when Grissom deepened the kiss, something she had hoped for but did not expect. It was Grissom who pulled back first. "Sorry… I shouldn't have…"

"Don't be sorry," Sara pleaded. She had so much more to say, but the words wouldn't come. She just kept her eyes trained on Grissom hoping she could express her love and longing.

All Grissom could see was love and longing in her eyes. "OK," he said softly, a prayer upon his lips.

She took his hand and guided him out of the room. Sara closed the door half way. "I'm not sure I should go back to work yet."

"Is it because you're too tired?" Grissom said nervously. "If you aren't feeling right…"

"No, it's not that. It's not that at all," Sara said. "I think it's still too soon for me to leave you."

"This isn't about me. It's about what's best for you," Grissom said. "You need to get your work life back. It helps you to work. You've been stuck here, dealing with me, dealing with my issues, my problems. It hasn't been fair to Daniel or to you, but especially you."

"Stop saying it like that. Like you're a chore that has to be dealt with," Sara said. "Daniel loves being with you, and so do I. We almost lost you, Gil. You have to realize how hard that was for us."

"And you might lose me again," Grissom said sadly. "So it's best to get back to a normal routine now."

Sara shook her head. "That thinking… It pisses me off so much, Gil."

"I know. It pisses me off, too," Grissom replied. "You think I want to think like that? I don't, Sara. Especially now. God, how did I mess this up so bad…"

"No. I won't let you do that," Sara said. "They are close, Gil. I can feel it."

"Sara, I want to believe that, but until it happens, I can't," Grissom said. "And someone has to remind you that this whole situation is not resolved and might never be."

There it was, that familiar stalemate. Sara bit her lip. She didn't want to yell or fight. She was terribly worried about her husband mentally and physically and she wasn't sure what he would do with his time alone in the house.

But if she were at work, she would have a better chance of seeing what the hell was going on with his case. In her gut, Sara could feel something was definitely happening. She could hear it in the slightly anxious inflection in Karson's voice.

"OK, Gil. I'll go back to work, but it's probably best for now for Daniel to go back to daycare."

Just the mention of daycare took Grissom's breath away and made his hand shake. Sara saw that and enclosed his hand in hers. "He'll be safe there. You know that, right?" She could feel him shake and his eyes were screwed shut as if in pain. "Open your eyes, relax and breathe, hon."

He did as she said. Yet he still had the shakes as the vestiges of the nightmare Rory supplanted in his head lingered. But after a moment he nodded his head. "He's safe there. I know. And I can't care for him by myself."

"But you will soon," Sara said. "Come on. Let's go downstairs. We need to see if you need things to make for yourself while I'm at work."

When the alarm sounded, Sara popped up in bed. She felt like she's only laid her head down for 10 minutes. She looked to Grissom's side and discovered she was alone in the bed. She got out of bed to see if maybe Grissom went to sleep in the twin bed in Daniel's room, but he wasn't there. She checked Daniel, who was still asleep in his crib.

She padded down the stairs and heard someone in the kitchen. But before she went to inspect that, she went to the living room. There she saw what she suspected. A blanket strewn across the sofa. Grissom must have left their bed to sleep downstairs. He had done that before, especially, Sara suspected, when his nightmares got bad.

With a sigh, she entered the kitchen and saw Grissom scrambling to put on his knee brace before Sara noticed.

It didn't work. But at least he's wearing the damn thing now, Sara thought.

"Good morning," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Couldn't sleep?"

Grissom shrugged. He looked tired and a bit haggard. "I thought I could help you out. Make some breakfast for you," he got up and grabbed a bagel out of the toaster and started smearing cream cheese on it. "It's not much, but…"

"Thank you, Gil. That was sweet of you," she said as she took the plate from him. "Any coffee?"

As she asked he started pouring her a cup. "Decaf, and there's enough for your take-out cup, too."

"I haven't taken a shower yet, if you want to join me. That way I can help you…"

"I might go upstairs and try to sleep more," Grissom said. "Don't worry about me, Sara. I can handle a shower later."

They didn't talk much after that, with Sara preparing for her first day back and Grissom puttering downstairs in the kitchen and living room. While Sara got Daniel ready, Grissom packed the car. He said his goodbyes to Daniel and Sara in the living room before he retreated to the bedroom.

"He'll be OK at daycare." He said it more as a statement to himself than a question for Sara.

"Yes. He will be fine at daycare," Sara confirmed. "You'll be careful?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Go, Sara."

She left through the kitchen to grab her to-go coffee and saw a different to-go cup and a note. "Coffee is already in the car. Here's a smoothie for you and the little one. Thanks for eating the bagel. Be careful at work. Love, G."