A/N: A joint effort from Jelly and I on this chapter, with Jellybean also doing another awesome beta as well. After today's chapter it's likely that I'll only be posting once a week again, I'm now only 4 chapters ahead, and I don;t want to leave you guys hanging with a huge gap, until new chapters are ready. If that changes, I will of course, post 2x chapters a week again.

CHAPTER 43

Grissom's favorite time of the day became around 6 o'clock when Sara would come home with Daniel. It was the fourth day since Sara returned to work, and Grissom had to admit he looked forward to this time tomorrow because that would mean the whole family could be together for two days. He missed Sara and Daniel during the day, and the time he spent away from them made him relive time he spent in prison.

He didn't eat much when he was home alone. Nothing seemed to taste good and he always felt tired when he was by himself. When he tried to rest, the nightmares returned just as they would at night when he tried to sleep, which is why he spent more time on the couch than in his bed. He knew his mood was increasingly removed, forlorn, and he could tell Sara was worried about him. But in little over a week, he might be looking at returning to prison.

There was hope that something would be discovered to prevent going to prison, but as the days dragged on with little or no word, Grissom became more convinced being cleared of charges was false hope. He knew he couldn't say that to Sara because it would only start a fight. They didn't speak much to one another as it was, he didn't want what little words spoken to be an argument.

So when she came home from work, he tried to have something ready to eat, even it was a simple noodle dish or rice casserole or a salad with protein. He might not be eating, but he was happy to see that Sara was still eating.

And he spent time with Daniel. His mother had been right. It was his responsibility to spend time with Daniel while he could. He might not ever remember his father, but at least there could be a foundation of love in the boy's heart. And maybe Daniel could pass that love down to his little brother or sister.

Daniel loved to crawl to the bay windows in the family room and watch the swifts flit and fly from bush to bush. And the boy truly loved when an occasional hummingbird would use the feeder right by the window. That's what caught Daniel's eye at that moment.

Grissom watched as the sun basked around the boy giving him a lovely, innocent glow as he sat down near the window and looked outside. Although the boy was content, Grissom couldn't resist the urge to pick him up and hold him in his arms as they both looked outside.

The scenery was peaceful, until he saw a police car slowly pull up and park in front of his lawn. Grissom felt his chest tighten and barely called out for Sara before his throat constricted. He held onto Daniel tight.

Sara ran in from the kitchen. "What's the matter?"

She saw what made the color drain from her husband's face. A police officer was exiting his car and speaking into the radio on his shoulder. He checked the gun in his holster and leaned against the car staring at the house.

"He's going to take me back to prison."

Sara had never heard Grissom's voice more frightened and hollow. "I'm going to go outside."

Grissom's eyes glazed and all he could see was the officer. The man in his late 20s took a step away from his car and with his hand still on his holster, he walked toward the house. Although Grissom held Daniel, he could feel his own arms shake. He couldn't take his eyes away from the officer. It was as if he was a singular human being in a tunnel making his way toward Grissom and tear his world apart.

When the front door opened, Grissom tore his gaze away from the window. He saw the cop standing with Sara and Wilbur. Grissom swallowed the lump in his throat and felt like a trapped animal. He took a step away from the window, but couldn't figure out where to step, where to hide.

"You can't take me yet," he said frantically. "I was supposed to have more time. Please… don't take me yet."

Sara went to approach him, but Wilbur gently put his hand on her arm. "Let me try first," he said softly before walking toward Grissom. "Gil, this isn't what you think…"

"Three weeks! It was supposed to be three weeks!" Grissom shouted. "And you said I wouldn't have to worry…"

"You don't, Gil. Now, stop and listen."

Grissom stopped moving and Wilbur beckoned for Sara to come next to him.

"He's not here to arrest you or take you away," Wilbur said. "The DA dropped the charges against you, Gil."

Confused and anxious, Grissom didn't know how to process what was said. "What? But the officer…"

"He's here to take off the ankle bracelet, hon, that's all," Sara said going to his side. "It's over."

"I'm not going back to jail?"

"No," Wilbur confirmed.

Grissom planted a kiss on top of Daniel's head and fought back tears as he let Sara guide him into the kitchen so the officer could do his job.

After forms were signed, the officer left the house. Wilbur smiled as he witnessed Grissom looking down his leg and he rolled his now free ankle.

"Feels a helluva lot better I bet," Wilbur said. "Like the weight of the world removed."

"Literally and figuratively," Grissom said. "Thank you, Wilbur."

"Yes, thank you," Sara said. "I can't believe this is happening."

"My pleasure," Wilbur said with a smile.

"Are you hungry?"

Grissom's question caught the lawyer off guard. "Well, that depends on the cuisine."

He felt the stumble on his face and the wrinkled khaki shorts he wore. "Maybe something casual. Like pizza?"

"You want to go out?" Sara asked.

"Yeah, I think I do," Grissom said. "I mean, Wilbur, you deserve a better meal from us, but if you don't mind something casual now…"

"First of all, I would never turn down a free meal. Secondly, you both deserve a better meal so the next one will be on me."

"Sounds like a deal to me," Sara said. "Wilbur, would you mind watching Daniel while the two of us freshen up?"

Wilbur took the boy's hands in his and swooped the boy in the air garnering full-blown laughs. "I'd love to," said the experienced grandpa. "The two of us can discuss final financial arrangements."

Sara laughed at the comment while Grissom looked befuddled. "I'll explain upstairs."

The couple enjoyed the small celebration with their lawyer, who insisted they drive to Grissom's mother's house to share the news with her. Betty joined them for dinner, and held Jacobsen's hand as much as she did her own son's as a show of gratitude for what the lawyer did for their family. Sara chose a small family eatery that was not crowded. They all enjoyed house wine, homemade pizza and the company of friends and family, without the specter of a future trial and prison sentence.

On the drive back from Betty's house, Grissom looked in the back seat at Daniel, who was passed out asleep with his head cocked to the side. He reached over with a tissue to wipe the line of drool on the boy's face. "He's down for the count," Grissom said. "I'll put him straight into the crib."

"He had a big evening," Sara said. "We all did."

"I can't believe it."

"What?"

"This. This … feeling."

"You feel lighter?"

"I guess you could say that. I'm not sure how to describe it. I still feel something, but I still feel like something's gone too." He shook his head. "Doesn't make sense, I know."

"That's OK," Sara said. "Hey, do you think it was wrong for me to ask him about the family emergency he had?"

"You mean when he was away when Hobson took my case?"

"Yeah," Sara said. "I felt kind of awful that I never asked before. He said he couldn't take your case because of a family emergency. You think that was wrong for me to ask? Because he seemed… I don't know."

"Like he was holding back a detail?"

"Yeah, exactly," Sara said. "I'm sure it was horrible getting a call that his brother was carjacked. But maybe I shouldn't have asked."

"Well, I don't think you offended him. It didn't seem to change his demeanor for the rest of the evening. But I could tell when he was thinking about it, there was something amiss."

The two stayed quiet for a moment. What Jacobsen held back was the fact that it was most likely Rory Dunbar who facilitated the carjacking to ensure Jacobsen was not around to take Grissom's case. While Jacobsen would never hold that notion against the Grissoms, he didn't want to share that idea with them either. He feared they, especially Grissom, would blame themselves for something completely out of their control.

Sara pulled into their driveway and waited for their garage door to open. "Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yeah," he reached over and grabbed her hand. "Did you?"

"More than I had in a long time," she said. "After you put Daniel down, you want to watch a movie? Maybe in our bed?"

"Why not in the living room? The TV is nicer there."

The last thing Sara wanted to do was spend time in the living room. If they did, there was a good chance Grissom would sleep on the couch again. She didn't want to force him to do anything, but she wanted to return to a routine where they slept in bed together. "I just thought it would be nice to wash up and put on our jammies and cuddle together."

Grissom's smile was soft and warm. "OK. Maybe you could help me take a shower?"

Sara fought the threat of tears. He'd not allowed her to help him since he's first night home from the hospital. It served as another step forward in their relationship. "Of course I can," she said as causally as possible.

After their shower together, Sara helped Grissom to dry off, taking extra care on his back. They sat on the bed together as Sara held a towel. Scars criss-crossed most of his back in wild disarray. Her throat constricted. Witnessing the pain he endured as he was recovering was bad enough without imagining the pain he felt as he was being tortured. That thought caused her to lean forward and gently kiss each and every laceration. Initially, Grissom jumped at the first touch of her lips, but soon relaxed as her touch warmed his skin. Sara relished the long-missed feeling of snuggling with her husband.

Grissom turned around to face her. His expression seemed to be filled with an unspoken apology. She recalled his words from a few days ago, how he didn't feel he was enough, how he felt defeated.

She tried to silence those unspoken woes with a kiss. When she felt Grissom's fingers in her hair she let out a moan of desire. When they broke apart, Grissom held her gaze a few seconds longer than he normally would, before he glanced down.

"Sara...I...can't..."

She smiled and placed both her hands on his face, and gently lifted his head to look at her.

"Sweetheart, I understand. While I'd love nothing more than to make love with you, I know that you still have a lot more healing to do. Right now, being like this with you is enough. Because you're enough, Gil. You always have been and always will be."

This time he was the one to ease her fears with a kiss. When they eventually broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers. "I want to be able to make things right..."

"We've been over this. You have nothing to make right, Gil. None of this is your fault."

"I'm not sure that's true, but even if it isn't I have to work harder for you. For us." He pressed his lips to hers, in a quick kiss. "And right now that means, making sure you get some sleep. You're exhausted."

"I don't want to wake up alone, Gil," Sara said. "Please?"

Grissom bit his lip. He still feared sleeping. He knew he thrashed. He knew sometimes he screamed. But he needed to make things right, and if Sara needed him with her, that is where he needed to be.

"OK, my love. I'll be right next to you."

They kissed once more before Sara snuggled up to Grissom as he lay on his right side. She felt more at peace than she had in months.

And for him, there was a feeling of peace and happiness as well. He hoped it would be enough to subside any bad unconscious thoughts. At least for one night.

Grissom's eyes moved rapidly, as unease spread throughout his body. A deep frown marred his once peaceful countenance. Sweat began to bead on his face, soaking through his sleep shirt. Sara had rolled away onto her left side, and so her slumber remained undisturbed by her restless sleeping partner.

Grissom's chest rose and fell rapidly, as dread enveloped him like a shroud.

Though his shoulders ached dully, he snuggled Daniel closer. The officer was standing at his car and it felt like his steely gaze was burning a hole in the window glass that separated them. The officer never took his hand off his holstered gun.

Distress evident on his face he turned to Sara and tried to swallow around the large lump lodged in his throat, as the moment he'd been both dreading and knew was coming descended down on him.

A deep sense of regret at the way he'd acted around Sara and his son, added to his distress. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, he should have taken this time, as a second chance to be with his family, making as many memories as he could, to carry him through the bleak years ahead. He'd wanted to make this moment as easy for them as he could, but he was selfishly realizing, that he'd only been making it easier on himself. He'd failed them both, as a husband and a father.

The officer was taking long steps towards the window, right towards Grissom and Daniel. But this time, the gun was not holstered. He held it firmly in his hand. Then he was inside the house and was right in front of Grissom as he held Daniel.

Then Grissom heard Rory's voice command, "Take the shot!"

The officer moved his weapon to Daniel's head and shot the boy before Grissom could react.

"Daniel!" Grissom screamed as he bolted upright in the bed.

His heart raced as panic and despair descended over him. Although his eyes were wide with terror he still believed he was inside the dream. The gunman's was face frozen in front of Grissom's mind but in the darkness he didn't know where he was.

Then something stirred beside him. When he felt a touch against his arm, he lunged as the shape loomed in the darkness. Consumed with fear, and disorientated from his nightmare, Grissom instinctively lashed out. A cry of pain filled the room. In his highly anxious state, the sound failed to register with Grissom.

"Gil, it's me! Sara!" Sara's pained voice filled the surrounding darkness, as she reached out to him. "Gil, you're safe, sweetheart. It was a bad dream."

Now aware he was no longer dreaming, Grissom broke down in sobs. Sara carefully embraced her shaking and terrified husband.

"Daniel. He-he shot...he shot Daniel." Grissom's emotional voice was sad and broken. "Rory...Rory's voice...he said...take..take the sh-shot. The officer...sh-shot Dan…"

Sara gently rubbed Grissom's shoulders, keeping her voice low and clam. "Sweetheart, it was an another nightmare. Daniel's safe and well, and sleeping in the room across the hall. I can hear him breathing on the baby monitor. He's absolutely fine, baby. Listen, okay?"

Sara reached for the baby monitor on her side of the bed. Bringing the monitor closer, she adjusted the volume slightly. Daniel's soft regular breathing came reassuringly through the speaker. The sound distorted slightly as he moved into a more comfortable spot, before once again becoming restful.

"Sweetheart, he's just fine, sleeping soundly," Sara again reassured him, putting the monitor back on his night table.

Grissom hung his head, working to calm his erratic breathing. His fists clenched and unclenched in his lap, as Sara continued to gently rub along his shoulders and back.

"No, don't go," she said feeling him rise out of bed. "Stay with me, OK."

Eventually, her soothing tones were enough to comfort him, and she managed to coax him to lie back down. Grissom laid quietly in the darkness, listening to the rhythmic breathing of his son, coming through the monitor. He wasn't sure how much time had passed before Sara's slow breathing indicated that sleep had finally reclaimed her. It was almost two hours before sleep finally claimed him.