A/N: Another awesome chapter from co-author JellybeanChiChi. I love this chapter and the one to follow.

Chapter 53

Catherine let out a frustrated sigh as she heard the doorbell ring. She had just finished her shower and was wearing jeans and was just debating the necessity of a bra when the bell rang. Quickly pulling on a sports bra and a t-shirt, she left her bedroom to get to the door. She took her time hoping whoever was there had left.

But the person didn't leave. Looking through the peephole, she let out another sigh as she saw who was on the other side of the door.

"Gil," she said, clearly surprised by his presence. "What are you doing here?"

Standing with his cane, his brow lined with sweat, Grissom offered a small smile. "I haven't seen you in a long time. I thought I would drop by."

"Should you be driving?" Catherine questioned. "Or is Sara here, too?"

"Sara's got a shift today. I took a taxi," Grissom explained. "May I come in?"

Catherine really wasn't in the mood for company, but her damn curiosity got the best of her. "I had some plans, but, hell, why not."

She opened the door and he entered leaning heavily on his cane. It had been a long time since they saw each other. Even before his arrest and imprisonment more than months prior, the two hadn't connected with one another for several months before that.

Catherine walked a step in front of Grissom leading him to the kitchen where they could sit down. "Something to drink?"

"Water would be nice."

"Nothing stronger?" She asked as she pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to Grissom.

"No," Grissom replied. "But that shouldn't stop you from imbibing."

"Has it ever?" Catherine said as she poured some vodka with orange juice. "Take a seat."

They sat across one another at her breakfast table. Catherine watched as Grissom took a long swig from his water bottle. He downed the rest of the water in two more gulps. "Thanks."

"Looks like you needed that," Catherine said, taking a slow sip of her drink. "What's on your mind, Gil?"

He pursed his lips and downcast his eyes for a moment before catching Catherine's eyes. "I wanted to talk about the lab."

Catherine leaned back with a slight smile on her face. She had been wondering when this conversation would come up. She figured it would only be a matter of time before Grissom would regret his decision of leaving the lab. And now, with all that happened, Catherine figured he needed to prove himself once again to be the top-notch criminalist he was once celebrated as. Before the spectacle of three months ago practically destroyed what was left of that reputation.

The problem was the lab had moved on without Dr. Gilbert Grissom and Catherine wasn't sure there was room for him anymore, especially considering current events. He might have been proven innocent but his reputation was still tarnished nonetheless.

"Look, Gil, I want you to realize that a lot has happened in the last year, and yes there was a void when you left, but now things are running smoothly and I'm not sure where you would fit…"

"Catherine, I'm not asking to return to the lab."

His quick interruption took her by surprise. But there had to be a reason why he came to the house to talk to her."Well, I mean, if you are looking into doing some consulting, I'm not sure it can be done any time soon, you have to realize with all that's happened…"

"I'm not asking to return to the lab in any capacity whatsoever," Grissom said. "That's not at all why I'm here."

Now Catherine was stumped. "Well, then why…"

Grissom interrupted Catherine for the third time. His ears had turned a shade red and his voice came out anxious and in a rush. "I want to know why everyone in the lab had abandoned Sara."

Catherine leaned forward and took another sip of her drink. In contrast, her words came out slow and succinct. "What are you talking about? Sara is off her suspension, which by the way was paid," upon saying that statement there was an edge of bitter sarcasm in her voice. "I really don't understand why you think she had been abandoned."

"I'm talking about after I was arrested and sent to prison," Grissom said punctuating his point by tapping a single finger on the table. "The lab, people we've known for years, didn't check on her, offer her support, basically abandoned her, while I was gone and while I was accused, and I wanted to know why."

The accusation exasperated Catherine whose barely polite demeanor slipped a little more. "If anybody abandoned Sara while you were in prison it was you, Gil," Catherine said with her arms crossed across her chest. "I heard how you refused to see her. And more than once. Never called. Never contacted her."

"You're right. I did do all that," Grissom said, working to taper any anxiety and anger. "But maybe avoid making judgments about my decisions when I was behind bars getting the shit beaten out of me and didn't want my wife to worry more about me than she had to."

Catherine didn't know how to respond to that statement and Grissom recognized it. "Catherine, while everything was spinning out of control, I kept thinking Sara would be OK. People will be there for her. Because when Sara was taken…" Grissom paused. Those memories still made his heart sink. He took a deep breath and continued. "When Sara was taken, I had support around me. I suppose because you all knew … we were being victimized. But when I was accused… I thought there would be support for her but that didn't happen."

"Gil, you need to treat this like water under the bridge," Catherine said with a motherly, mock-calm voice. "This whole… situation was not easy for any of us."

The audacity Catherine presented didn't shock Grissom, but it didn't feel good either. Because it wasn't just the statement itself that stung but the hidden meaning behind it. "It's starting to make sense now."

"Really? What? That you're being an ass out of the blue?" Catherine said, downing the rest of her drink. "Newsflash, that's one of your typical, albeit, less-than-charming qualities."

"Things were different this time because you didn't see me as a victim," Grissom said. "You really thought I murdered him, didn't you?"

Catherine held Grissom's gaze. It was as if the two were locked in their spot waiting for the other to break. After two decades of knowing each other, working with each other, they had locked gaze many times before. Catherine knew how to hold her own, but this time after less than 10 seconds she had to look away. "Dammit, Gil, that's not a fair question."

"Yes, it is," Grissom said. "You were all nervous, distant, but especially you. I didn't see you at all after the arrest. You were the first out of the room when the judge made the decision on my hearing."

"Yeah, well, I had work to do," Catherine said in her most catty voice. "The world didn't stop turning when they put you in prison, Grissom."

"Mine did," he said gravely. "And Sara's world was crumbling."

Catherine rolled her eyes. "It's over now, Grissom. You got out and I'm glad you did. I am. But you need to move forward and stop looking for things that don't exist."

Grissom couldn't contain his anger upon seeing her eye roll. "If nothing existed and this is all in my goddamn head, then answer the question, Catherine! Did you think I murdered Jake Sullivan?!"

"Gil, you have NO right to carry that tone with me!"

"Answer the question, Catherine."

"Why don't you go to hell?!"

Her retort didn't stop Grissom one iota. "Why don't you answer the question? Did you think I murdered Jake Sullivan?!"

"YES, OK!" Catherine screamed. "You fucking happy, now?!"

Catherine stood up and went to the counter to pour another drink. Grissom sat there and processed what he just heard. He felt rooted in the chair but saw how his hand shook as he swiped at his eye.

With her eyes closed, Catherine took a long pull off her drink. She put the glass down and smoothed her clothes. "I think it's best you leave."

Grissom looked up at her and saw she couldn't hold his gaze. "No. I'm not leaving yet."

His defiance got her attention. "Excuse me?"

He stood up and stood across from her, the breakfast bar between them. "We've known each other for 20 years, Catherine. We've been through… a lot. I… I don't understand how you thought I did that."

Catherine shook her head. "You aren't the same man I've known for 20 years." She placed both her hands flat upon the counter pressed her weight and frustration upon her arms. "That lab was your life, Gil. Your life. And all of us, we were supposed to be a family. But there you were taking liberties with someone in the family. Holding secrets and then upending everything in the end for your personal gain."

"Taking liberties?" Grissom's voice was deep. "I fell in love."

"You used your position in a higher authority and violated company policy by engaging with an employee who could have used your relationship to further her career. I don't care how in love you were, Gil, the bottom line is you were sleeping with a subordinate and, as an added bonus, you got her pregnant." She lifted her hands up and gestured with them to punctuate her frustration and disappointment. "And then, you just left! Washed your hands of that responsibility and left. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for the lab, Gil! Do you have any idea the fallout from employee relations after that?"

Grissom's face became stoic. "Don't mince words, Catherine. You're saying I damaged the lab because I screwed an employee, knocked her up and got caught with my pants down. A year later, some younger man comes along so I crushed his windpipe for looking at my bitch the wrong way, is that what you're saying?"

"I never said that," Catherine's voice matched the angry timber of Grissom's voice. "If you are going to be crude and accuse me, then just get the hell out."

"But that's the kind of talk you heard, right?" Grissom countered, not moving from his spot. "I know how crude the gossip can be, especially from coworkers who didn't know the situation, weren't part of our team. Is that what you heard? And when you did hear it, did you say … anything?"

"I... "Catherine stumbled. She could have lied and said she never heard that type of gossip or if she did, she explained the situation. But what would be the point of that. Knowing him, he would recognize the lie and throw it back in her face. "Fine, Gil. Yes… there was a lot of gossip. A lot. And it wasn't my job to go around preserving your precious reputation because I had a lot of work to do."

Grissom downcast his eyes and leaned a little more heavily on his cane. When he spoke, his voice was considerably softer. "I'll never forget the first time I heard the disparaging gossip about you when you started working." It didn't take long for people at the lab and in law enforcement to find out Catherine's background as a dancer and daughter of a casino owner. Catherine had a perpetual chip on her shoulder because along with being a woman, she had a past and when she was first working, people wouldn't let her forget it.

But Grissom was not one of those people, which was why they became friends. "All that gossip, it hurt me to hear those things because … you were my friend. Sometimes all it would take was a 'not interested' or a 'shut up' to get people to stop. Except that asshole cop, George Thompson, remember him?" He spied a look at Catherine who tried to make her face unreadable. "Things got a lot better when he left."

"Yeah, much better. After what happened to him at that bar — Hightower's. Eddie told me he'd go there to check out the guys I worked with. Make sure he didn't have competition," Catherine said, her eyes on her counter. Recalling her dead ex-husband Eddie always brought back feelings of unease. But at least this was a memory that didn't make her shudder. "Thompson was a massive guy, but someone got in his face after he started talking shit about me. No one would ever say who it was, but the gossip did die down. Probably one of the only good things Eddie ever did for me."

Catherine lifted her head and saw the tired look on her longtime friend's face. All this time she assumed it was Eddie who stood up for her, but now it made sense. Grissom took his share of grief from others in law enforcement. And not many of those macho guys would want to admit a big, burly guy got bested by the resident science geek.

"You?"

Grissom nodded solemnly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The questioned garnered a shrug. He didn't bring that up to throw it back in her face, he just wanted her to understand he always tried to have her back. "You thought it was Eddie. I figured it was better that way."

She almost looked contrite, but Catherine's ego wouldn't allow it. Instead, she stood firm. "Well, that was a long time ago."

"Yes, it was," Grissom agreed. Mentally he debated whether he should leave now. But he came to her house not for a casual visit but for a true purpose. And not for himself, but for his wife.

"Catherine I want you to know, with everything that happened, I never thought I ever tarnished the reputation of the lab. Perhaps I should have thought of that. I certainly never wanted to tarnish anything because, you're right, the lab was my life and everyone there… well, they became my family.

"I never asked anyone to preserve my reputation," Grissom continued with a sad chuckle. "I am more than capable of ruining my own reputation. The last few months have taught me that."

They stood in silence for a moment. Then Grissom asked in a voice devoid of anger, devoid of frustration, but filled with melancholy a question he truly didn't want to ask. "Is that why you told people to stay away? Greg? Warrick? Nick? You? You were afraid association with me or Sara would ruin everyone's own reputations?"

Catherine took a deep breath and stood up straight. "You were accused of murder and evidence was solid. I told them they didn't deserve to take any grief out of loyalty. They had to move forward in order to avoid being dragged down."

Grissom tried to put himself in Catherine's shoes. She was always the mother hen, and her attitude matched the moniker. Because of the accusations, she saw Grissom not as her longtime friend but as nothing but trouble. And you don't let people you love mix with trouble.

But the accusations and, more importantly, the evidence was wrong. Grissom wondered if Catherine ever considered that as a possibility, or if she let residual feelings of hurt and bitterness serve as blinders. Looking in her eyes and processing what she said, he knew the painful answer to that question.

He sought to ask Catherine questions and he gained answers he sought, ones that stabbed him in his heart.

"It would be one thing to keep them away from me, but Sara didn't deserve to be shunned. No matter how you want to spin it in your head, you were wrong to do that, Catherine," he said. "I think I should go."

Catherine said nothing as she stood in her spot. She gazed outside a side window, willing herself not to make eye contact with Grissom as he made his way out the kitchen, down the hall and out the front door.