Another cleanse of the year came and went, every year Heaven sends angels down to Hell and wipes out a few demons and hell beasts from Hell to make room for more arrivals. This helps with overpopulation by slaughtering as many demons as possible. As long as the demons stay inside, they won't get killed, permanently. It won't be another year until the next one. Charlie's dream of bringing her hotel to light was just minutes away. Thanks to Kara, she got Charlie and Vaggie an interview on the news and this would be the chance to promote it. Kara was going to join the interview to see if things would go well.
Unfortunately, luck was not on her side today. Loud explosions were happening just outside her club. She ran outside to see what was happening; she saw another turf war breaking out. Only this time, the turf war was between Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb, her girlfriend. "Why am I not surprised, Cherri?" Kara muttered to herself.
She met Cherri three years ago after opening her Karaoke Club and motel. Cherri needed a place to crash after her place got accidentally blown up. She bonded pretty well with Kara and would come by the club often. A year into their friendship, Kara worked up the guts to ask Cherri to be her girlfriend and she said yes. Cherri is lesbian and Kara is bi. Now Cherri would come to the club for a night with her girl or help her out with a new guest stay hidden from their abusive lovers or exes.
Kara ran to the TV studio; thankfully she made it just in time for Charlie's interview. She stood beside Vaggie watching Charlie. She could tell that Katie wasn't even interested in what Charlie had to say. Charlie talked about how growing up in Hell, she always tried to see the good in everything around her. She talked about how they had just gone through yet another extermination and lost so many souls and it breaks her heart to see her people being slaughtered every year. But no one is even given a chance. She wasn't going to stand idly by while the place she lived was subjected to such violence.
"So, I've been thinking, isn't there a more humane way to endure overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through redemption? Well, I think yes. So that's what this project aims to achieve!" Charlie spoke, confidently. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind, a hotel that rehabilitates sinners!"
The whole room went dead silent; no one even liked the idea of redemption. Vaggie had to punch one of the cameramen in the face after he called Charlie a, stupid bitch. Charlie had at least one more trick up her sleeve which Vaggie was dreading, she was going to sing about the hotel.
I have a dream,
I'm here to tell
About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel
Yes, it's one of a kind, right here in Hell
Catering to a specific clientèle (O-o-oh)
Inside of every demon is a rainbow,
Inside every sinner is a shiny smile!
Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac,
Is a jolly, happy, cupcake-loving child!
We can turn around!
They'll be heaven-bound!
With just a little time down at the Happy Hotel!
So, all you junkies, freaks, and weirdos,
Creepers, fuck-ups, crooks and zeroes,
And the fallen superheroes, help is here!
All of you cretins, sluts, and losers,
Sexual deviants and boozers, and prescription drug abusers
Need not fear!
While in our care
We'll cure your sin!
We'll make you well, you'll feel so swell!
Right here in Hell, at the Happy Hotel!
There'll be no more fire
And no more screams,
Just puppy dog kisses, and cotton candy dreams,
And puffy-wuffy clouds, you're gonna be like, wow!
Once you check in with me-e-e-e-e~!
So, all your cartoon porn addictions, vegan rants, psychic predictions,
Ancient Roman crucifixions
End right here!
All you monsters, thieves, and crazies,
Cannibals and crying babies,
Frothing mouth is full with rabies,
Filled with cheer!
You'll be complete! It'll be so neat!
Our service can't be beat! You'll be on easy street! (Yes!)
Life will be sweet at the Happy Hotel~! (Yeah!)
By the time Charlie finished singing, she thought she had won everyone over. Only she didn't, instead everyone was laughing at the poor princess, someone even booed her. "What in the nine circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person!" Katie shrieked with laughter. "You have no proof that this little experiment even works. You want people to be good just because?"
"Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause, and he's shown incredible progress," Charlie stated, making Katie and the others stop laughing.
"Oh. And who might that be?" Katie asked, testing Charlie.
"Oh, just someone named, Angel Dust," Charlie replied.
"Oh please, that's not even an accomplishment I'm sure you can get that hooker to do anything."
"Oh, I beg to differ. He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now."
Unfortunately, Charlie was about to eat her words. Live footage of the turf appeared on the screen and to her horror, Angel Dust was there, fighting in the turf war with Cherri Bomb. Katie Killjoy even crossed the line by calling Charlie a total failure before going back to laugh at her. Kara couldn't take it anymore; she marched up to Charlie and helped her walk away from Katie Killjoy and Tom Trend. Katie even had the guts to call out Kara for being nothing more than a gay love freak who is hooked on drugs. That comment made Kara reach her breaking point. She told Charlie to wait outside with Vaggie.
She saw nothing but red and rage as she charged towards Katie Killjoy and tackled her to the ground. The whole thing turned into a full-blown blood bath between Katie Killjoy and Kara Melody. In the end, Kara walked out with only a few scrapes on her face and arms; this wasn't her first fight. After the interview/brawl, Charlie, Vaggie, and Kara hopped into the limo to pick up Angel who was in for a world of pain. Angel didn't even care that his little stunt in the turf war had made Charlie and Vaggie look like a joke. Angel claimed that he owed Cherri Bomb a solid and his credibility was on the line.
He then began to rummage around the limo looking for bottles of liquor. Vaggie was on the edge of killing Angel, but Kara managed to get the situation under control. "That was uncool, ya know, Angel," Charlie stated.
"Uncool?!" Vaggie shouted, "After that trainwreck, there is no way anyone is gonna want to stay at the hotel! All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!"
"Vaggie, calm down. It'll be ok." Kara assured.
By the time they all reached the hotel, Charlie was depressed over how bad things had gotten. Angel tried to lighten the mood with a joke to help but it didn't. Charlie even tried calling her mother for advice, but the call just went to voicemail. Just when Charlie had given up all hope; there was a knock at the door. Feeling cautious, Charlie opened the door; standing there was a demon dressed like an old radio show host in all red and black from head to toe, with what looked like deer ears on his head, a mic in one hand, and a creepy smile that could rival the Jokers'.
Charlie quickly slammed the door shut, knowing exactly who that demon was. "Hey, Vaggie, Kara."
"What?" Vaggie asked.
"The Radio Demon is at the door!" Charlie stated.
Kara almost choked on her spit. "What?! Charlie, whatever you do, don't let him in!" Kara shouted.
But against Charlie's judgment, she opened the door again. "May I speak now? The Radio Demon asked, his voice sounding like he was on a radio show.
"You may," Charlie answered.
"Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart! Quite a pleasure!" Alastor stated before letting himself inside. "Excuse my sudden visit, but O saw your fiasco on the picture show, and I just couldn't resist! What a performance! Why, I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929!"
Vaggie pulled out her spear at Alastor and made it clear that she wasn't going to let this pompous, cheesy talk show shitlord hurt anyone. Alastor went dead silent for just a moment until he finally told Charlie and Vaggie that he was here to help with the hotel. He wants to help Charlie run the hotel. Kara asked what this had to do with himself, Alastor claimed that he lacked inspiration for decades and his work became mundane, lacking focus. He was craving a new form of entertainment. "I suppose getting into a fistfight with a reporter counts as entertaining," Kara asked, sarcastically.
Alastor chuckled, ignoring Kara's sassy remark. "It's the purest kind, my dear. Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage, and the stage is a world of entertainment." he answered.
"So does this mean that you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?" Charlie asked.
"Of course not!" Alastor stated, "That's whacky nonsense! Redemption? Oh, the non-existent humanity. No, no, no. I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome sinners. The chance given was the life they lived before the punishment is, this. There is no undoing what is done."
"So then, why do you want to help me if you don't believe in my cause?" Charlie asked.
"Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself. I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure." Alastor explained.
Vaggie kept giving Alastor death glares the whole time. Of course, that was understandable; the Radio Demon is one of the most powerful and feared beings in Hell. Though Angel seemed to be confused about who Alastor was, he wasn't big on politics. Vaggie explained to Angel that decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell, seemingly overnight. He began to topple overlords who had been dominant for centuries. That kind of power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcasted his carnage throughout Hell, just so everyone could witness his ability. Since then, sinners started calling him, the Radio Demon.
Many demons have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival their world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing is for sure; he is an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which no one can't risk getting involved with unless they want to end up erased. "He looks more like a strawberry pimp," Angel commented.
"Well, I don't trust him," Vaggie stated.
"To be fair, do you trust any man, any men." Angel teased.
Alastor was known for making evil deals with his voodoo powers; someone like him couldn't be redeemed. But Charlie decided to give Alastor a chance. Even though he is incredibly sketchy, and he sees what she is trying to do as a joke, she is taking him up on his offer to help. On the condition that he would not pull any trickster voodoo strings attached. She even used her status to order Alastor to help them with the hotel for however long that may be. Alastor walked around the room, humming a tune. He asked Charlie about the rest of her staff but all she had was herself, Vaggie, and Kara as the staff.
He then walked up to Angel. "And what can you do my feminine fellow?" he asked.
"I can suck your dick," Angel stated with a smile.
Alastor made what sounded like a mic screech for a moment before telling Angel, no. "Your lost," Angel said, staring at him.
Alastor decided to cash in a few favors from other demons to help liven up the hotel. With a snap of his fingers, he brought a little one-eyed demon named Nifty who was wearing a 1950s poodle skirt with a thing for cleaning. Alastor then brought in a demon cat with wings named Husker who had a thing for alcohol and gambling. Alastor made Husker man the front desk by a bar, he convinced Husker with a wink and cheap booze. Vaggie was dead set against the bar since the hotel is supposed to be a place that discourages sin. Angel was certain about keeping the bar; he even tried flirting with Husker, but Husker wasn't interested.
Alastor asked Charlie how she liked the changes; she loved all the changes. "This is going to be very entertaining," Alastor stated.
He then used his powers to somehow make music be heard and changed his clothes.
You have a dream,
You wish to tell,
He gave Charlie a new look as well.
And it's just laughable
But, hey kid, what the hell?
'Cause you're one of a kind,
A charming demon belle!
Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell
Take it, boys!
He was dancing with Charlie before he gave the other demons a new look as well. He then had his shadows play a few instruments.
(Ha-ha!)
Boo!
Inside of every demon is a lost cause
(Ha)
But we'll dress them up for now with just a smile
(With a smile!)
Alastor summoned more shadows from the fireplace.
And we'll ornate this cesspool
With some old redemption flair
And show these simpletons some proper class and style
(Class and style!)
(Oh!)
Here below the ground,
I'm sure your plan is sound
They'll spend a little time
Down at this Hazbin Ho-
Before he could finish his song, something just blew the door clear off the hinges. Everyone stepped outside to see what was going on, only to find Sir Pentious and his machine in front of the hotel. "Ok, I have had just about enough with this clown!" Kara shouted. "Back up everyone, I'm about to blow off some steam!"
Before Sir Pentious could fire up his weapon, Kara took a big breath then she let out a loud sonic ear-splitting shriek that shattered the machine to pieces with Sir Pentious and his egg crew inside. Everyone minus Alastor just stood there shocked; Kara Melody had just blown Sir Pentious's machine to bits. "Well, I'm starved. Who wants some jambalaya?" Alastor asked, trying to lighten the mood. "My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya. It nearly killed her. You could say the kick was right out of Hell."
Everyone headed back inside the hotel. Charlie asked Kara if she had ever done that sonic shriek before. Kara explained that it was her voice, it's powerful enough to shatter glass, she normally had it under control at least until she gets pissed off. When they got back inside, they found Alastor cooking up a storm, humming a tune. He wasn't kidding about the jambalaya. Angel had just gone back into his room for a little quiet after what had happened. Kara asked Alastor if he could go get Angel while she finished up the meal. Reluctantly, Alastor agreed to go grab Angel Dust.
Alastor walked inside Angel's room without even knocking. He found Angel smoking a cigarette, "What the hell, Al?!" Angel shouted.
"Apologizes for the intrusion my dear, but Charlie and Kara insisted that I check up on you," Alastor stated with his smile.
"Well, I'm fine. So, you can cut the nice crap and disappear or whatever." Angel snapped as he put out his cigarette.
Just as Angel was getting up from his chair, he suddenly felt a little dizzy before tripping over his own feet. He would have fallen face-first to the floor, but Alastor caught him before that happened. Alastor's touch was different from what Angel had experienced; he never had anyone been so gentle to him before. He looked up at Alastor's eyes which for some reason were kinder than before. His cheeks flushed red as Alastor slowly helped him to his feet like a prince charming. "Foods ready when you want to come down. Just don't lose your footing this time." Alastor stated with a wink before walking out of Angels' room.
Angel's heart began to race all of a sudden; this was something new and unexpected. He had a crush on the Radio Demon; a real crush, not the fake "I just want you for sex" kind of crush. The kind of crush that makes you think that this demon could be your soulmate.