A/N: Another fantastic chapter from Jellybean, not only as co-author but as beta as well. Once again thank you for your reviews and your continuing patience between chapters

Chapter 77

When Donna Simmons returned to the table, Grissom caught her eye and was going to ask if she was doing OK, but intuitively Donna stopped the comment from coming out of his mouth as she put up her hand and said, "I'm fine."

Sitting down, it was Donna's turn to gaze into nothingness before she met Sara's eyes. "How far along? Seven months?"

"Almost," Sara answered.

"You know, I'm still amazed you met me. Thought you would just ignore me like everyone else," Donna said, an ironic, sad laugh escaping her lips. "And in the bathroom, I thought maybe you'd leave and steal my purse."

Sara couldn't let that pass. "You know… you asked us to meet you and we did. Gil sat here and shared …. haunting memories with you, and you think that about us? That's a lot of goddamn nerve."

"Sara, stop," Grissom said.

"No, she's right. And I had that thought even after I pretty much bullied you into telling me about that morning," Donna said, shaking her head dismissively. "You know, I can handle bad news. It's part of my job. But hearing what you said about Tom…" She stopped and shook her head again. "Struck me to the core."

"I'm… I'm sorry all that happened," Grissom said sincerely.

Donna waited a moment and then spoke. "You said when they took you, you were forced from the bus? I'm guessing that wasn't exactly a good thing?"

"No," Sara said, her arms folded across her chest. "That guard who killed your brother and a prisoner who kidnapped me last year to punish Grissom pulled him out to take him to a warehouse and torture him for days before they left him for dead."

"They didn't find you right away?"

"No," Grissom answered.

"But they did blame him for everything right away. Saw him as a criminal and not a victim," Sara added, the disdain dripping from her voice.

"Well, that explains a lot," Donna replied. "They just make up shit and everyone else is supposed to believe it. No questions asked."

Sara could have given a retort, but she didn't. Maybe this woman understood after all.

But Grissom had a retort. "You still have questions, don't you? If you want to ask something else, you can."

"You said the accident was planned. I'm guessing by more than just the two people from the bus."

"Yes."

"Was my brother involved?" She saw how both Sara and Grissom concentrated on that thought.

"Donna, I … I'm sorry I can't answer that question."

"But it's possible."

"You knew your brother," Sara said. "I mean, yes, it's possible he might have participated. Maybe coerced, maybe forcibly, maybe unknowingly. But to me, him not moving when a guard was right behind him and him falling asleep on that bus…"

"I see what you're saying," Donna said. "He'd be a damn fool to trust anyone else like that, much less fall asleep when a bus was ready to crash. Then again, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed."

"It shouldn't matter," Grissom said stoically. "And you shouldn't have to volley any of those thoughts in your head, Ms. Simmons."

"Hey, my mind does what it does," Donna replied with mirth.

"The bottom line is your brother, Tom, was brutally murdered. And whether he was an innocent bystander or a participant, doesn't change the fact that his fate was sealed by a man who plotted against me," Grissom said.

"Gil, don't shoulder the blame for his murder," Sara pleaded.

"I'm… not… or maybe I am… I don't know… But I'm sure Ms. Simmons places blame there… and I understand why she would," Grissom stammered. "I came here because you asked and I told you I would share whatever I could. But because your brother came into my sphere while it was under the control of Rory Dunbar, Tom's dead, and … all I can offer is an apology."

He moved Daniel to his shoulder and rocked him, more to soothe himself than his son. Sara watched him then caught Donna's eye. For the first time, Sara saw a softness there. Without a word, the two women began to get ready to leave, making sure all their belongings were where they should be and finding their car keys. Donna stood first, but then she sat back down.

"Hey," she said, as she tapped the table to get Grissom's attention. When he looked at her, she continued. "I did blame you. And, you know what? When you said yes to meeting me, I wanted to continue to blame you and make you feel as uncomfortable as possible as I passive aggressively laid into you. I was really hoping I could just hate you. But now… I can't."

"I wouldn't fight you if you wanted to do that."

"Yeah. I'm sure you wouldn't. But that helps no one. Not me, not your wife, not your kid here and the one coming sooner than you think. And most definitely not you," Donna said, standing up. "The curtain's been drawn, Mr. Grissom. You're the good guy. The bad guys… I'm guessing there's too many to count behind a bunch of different curtains."

Grissom breathed heavily and offered a softly spoken, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And just for the record, apology accepted. Do yourself a favour. Stop apologizing."

Donna nodded a goodbye toward Sara before leaving the table.

Alone at the table, the couple held each other's gaze for a long moment. Then Grissom put Daniel back in the car seat so they could leave the diner in separate cars.

".."

Because they weren't at the diner too long, Sara arrived to work some 50 minutes early for shift. Taking advantage of a little alone time, she made her way to the break room in hopes of making a decaffeinated tea and eating breakfast snacks she brought from home.

She'd just finished stirring her tea and was ready to take that along with yogurt and a bagel to her office, when Nick walked into the break room. The former friends regarded the other in silence for a moment. The air heavy with tension. They'd not spoken a word to each other, in almost a month.

Sara felt little desire to converse with him and began to gather her things to leave the break room.

"Sara, don't need to leave on my account," Nick said.

Sara's lips tightened into a thin line. "I'm not," her tone clipped. "I was going to have breakfast in my office. I'll see ya."

"Catherine mentioned he visited her," Nick said hesitantly.

Sara turned to face Nick, her dark eyes displaying apathy. "Yes, a while ago."

"Yeah, I guess I've been out and about. Hadn't seen you. So… how are … you and he doing?"

"Well, he hasn't hit me during a night terror, so that's a good thing," Sara said sarcastically, unable to keep the bitterness from her tone.

"That's not at all what I'm asking, Sara," Nick said defensively. "Look, I know you're pissed, but I have tried to apologize. You could have told me the truth, and not lie about how you got the black eye."

Anger burned Sara's blood at Nick's words. "Let me get this straight. I'm supposed to share intimate details about my relationship with you? Someone who had already made up in his mind that my husband was a murderer?"

"Now hold on…"

"You really think if I did say anything to you, it would have made one bit of difference, Nick? You were quick to judge him after Jake died, and you were quick to judge when he was terrified by a nightmare!"

"But I didn't know that."

"Yet, when I did say it was an accident that had never, ever happened before, and that he hated himself when he realized what he'd done, you still … STILL… blamed him and saw him as a monster."

"I was trying to look out for you!" Nick yelled. "I've seen Griss angry, Sara, but never like he was that day at the diner. I really thought he'd kill Jake right then if I hadn't walked in."

"He was angry, and he was defending me! And our son!"

"You didn't see what I saw! "Nick threw back. "Seeing Grissom lose his cool like that, showed me that he maybe wasn't the Grissom I knew. The look in his eyes…. it made my blood run cold."

Sara faced Nick, her chin jutting out. "Nick, you never knew who he was."

"Sara, I've known him as long as you…"

"And yet, when it was time to make hard decisions about who Grissom is, you never gave a thought of who he truly was. The consideration and he gave victims and cases doubled when he considered his family and friends. He never gave up when you were abducted. He fought to find you, just like we all did."

"That was then Sara. You were all fighting against a bad guy."

"And this is now," Sara said, thinking about the last few words Donna said to Grissom — the curtain was pulled. Grissom has, and always would be, a good guy. "The second he needed you in his corner, you let him down. When Gil was first accused, I asked you to look for his innocence. And you forgot who he is, and what he stands for."

Completely defensive, Nick pursed his lips as he spoke. "I did look for his innocence, but the evidence told me something different."

"What the evidence told you? Or your interpretation told you?" Seeing Nick stand silent, Sara shook her head. "You never considered how Grissom fit in that evidence. You know him, worked with him for years. Yet based on one moment of anger, you condemned him. Even when I told you about the walking boots, even when Greg suggested looking, you still didn't waver in your first thought — that Grissom committed those crimes."

"It's called being objective."

"I don't think so," Sara said. "Even if you had that thought about Grissom, you saw for yourself how aggressive Jake was with me. You're saying you didn't want to smack Jake around when you saw him around me?"

"Of course I did!" Nick said loudly. "You're my friend."

"And Grissom's my husband," Sara said. "Jake was not going to stop. You HAD to have known that, Nick. Jake wanted to force a confrontation. Hell, if people hadn't stepped in and framed Gil, you could have been investigating Grissom's murder."

"Sara, you're my friend, and I … I care about you so much," Nick said. "But if you're looking for an apology, I … I can't give you one. I was doing my job."

"Well, you did a shitty job," Sara said.

The lack of retort from Nick help create an even deeper chasm between the two people who had once considered each other close friends. Sara didn't know what to feel at that moment. But before she left, she felt she needed to say one more thing to Nick.

"If Grissom had died at the hands of Rory or ended up spending the rest of his life in prison, I would have blamed you, Nick." Her voice was full of a heartbroken sadness that Nick hadn't ever heard. "And that's not something I have ever wanted to do. But I know that's what I would do. It's hurt him, that you have so little faith in him. He'll never tell you that himself, but all this has hurt him. It's hurt me, too. I'm not sure either of us can forget that."

Nick couldn't hold Sara's eyes and focused his attention on the wall behind her. Sara took no more time to gather her things and go to her office.

".."

Sara came into her office and lightly tossed a file folder from Trace on her desk. She sat down with a feeling of resentment. And it wasn't just towards the information in the report from Trace. It was towards Nick, and so much more.

The last hour and a half had been an incredible whirlwind of emotion for her. Meeting Donna Simmons and fighting with Nick was a lot to take in before punching into work. She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her eyes.

There were some files she could work on, but instead she opened her yogurt and enjoyed her bagel. She had long left that familiar team she and Grissom called family. Fortunately, she was able to patch things up with Greg. And at the very least Catherine offered apologies. But not Nick. That stubborn, defensive look on his face matched the stubbornness of his "I was just doing my job" bullshit. And Warrick? Someone who still has a job instead of jail thanks to Grissom? He was completely M.I.A.

Thinking back about that moment when Grissom almost clocked Jake, Sara could recall that split-second look in Grissom's eyes. But she also knew that ever-so brief look was borne out of fear for his pregnant wife and child. His present and future were in jeopardy, of course he would have that feral look of rage.

But Grissom didn't let that rage overcome him, and while Nick saw that fact, he never considered it. There was no one else in her life that made her feel safer and incredibly loved than Gil Grissom. She really would love to be cocooned in the warmth and security of his arms at this moment.

It truly amazed her that she had to defend Grissom to Nick, someone who, she had thought, idolized him. Maybe that was the problem. Nick never saw Grissom as a person. And that truly is all Grissom is a person — a good person.

Would Nick even understand how incredibly selfless it was for Grissom to talk to Donna Simmons? Open his wounds just to try and offer solace to someone he had never known or met before? She was incredibly worried about his well-being after that meeting and wished Donna Simmons never called him. But then Donna told him point blank he was the good guy and to move forward. She might have been a bitch to him at first, but Sara was grateful Donna Simmons offered those words of encouragement.

Too bad those words never game months ago from people he did know.

Looking up at the clock, Sara saw it was almost time for shift to begin. She looked towards the door knowing her co-worker, Kahlil, would soon be here. It wasn't but two seconds later that he knocked before entering. It was a habit that made her smile.

"Good morning, Kahlil."

"You are first today, Sara. I see you have the files from Trace," he said with a smile, pointing to the folder on her desk. "Have you had your tea?"

"It's cold," she said, holding up an almost full cup.

Kahlil put his briefcase down. "I am going to make myself a cup. Shall I bring you one? Then we can look at the files before our briefing."

"If you don't mind."

Kahlil picked up her mug. "Of course not. Cream and…?"

"One sugar, no cream."

"Yes. One day I will get that correct. I will be back, and we shall get to work."

She watched him leave, then took a deep breath to fortify herself. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so much apathy towards work. Perhaps that feeling would go away.

Or perhaps not.

".."

Quitting time couldn't come fast enough for Sara, and home couldn't feel more comforting. As she drove home, she thought how even in his darkest moments, Grissom's motivations had been driven by his love and concern for her, and his family. A feeling of contentment and pride at what he had accomplished since that day he was arrested, swept over her as she drove home.

When she arrived, she could tell Grissom had a reflective day. While he was not sad or angry, he had been quiet as they cooked and ate dinner together. It wasn't until they were relaxing on the couch that she felt she could brooch the subject.

"How was your day?"

"Daniel was a good boy," Grissom replied fondly.

"All day?" Sara teased.

Grissom's head went back and forth. "Most of the day."

Sara smiled and reached for his hand. "How are you feeling after this morning?"

Grissom looked down at her hand holding his. "Fortunate." He looked at her and saw a look of surprise. "Not the word you were expecting? Me either."

"Donna put you through the ringer this morning. There was a couple of times I wanted to smack her."

That garnered a chuckle. "I'm glad you didn't. Honestly, Sara, she had every right to be bitchy and, call me a martyr or a fool, but letting her vent… sharing with her honestly … apologizing … it felt … like a burden was being lifted from me."

It was then something clicked with Sara. It was the brother of Rory Dunbar who started this whole campaign against Grissom. And it was a brother of Donna Simmons who became a victim. Perhaps that's a connection that Grissom made. "Gil, you do know what happened to Tom Simmons is not your fault. And what happened with Rory's brother wasn't your fault either. Please tell me you understand that."

"I do. But Donna Simmons' pain needed to be recognized. I didn't do that 30 years ago, and maybe if I did, there wouldn't be this pain and hardship 30 years later," Grissom said. "When I came home, I started looking around the house. I went up to the nursery. I just realized there is so much at stake here. There's been so much loss in the past year, year and a half. So many mistakes on my part. It just felt like this morning… It felt like I did something correctly."

Sara stood up and went to straddle Grissom. "Is this OK? I don't want to hurt your legs."

"You're not an elephant, sweetheart," he said, as he guided her upon his lap.

When he did, she palmed his face and kissed him soundly on the mouth. "You have no idea how much good you do, do you?"

Grissom uttered a heavy sigh. "This coming from the woman who only wants to take six weeks of Family Medical Leave so she can solely financially support her deadbeat husband."

"Stop," Sara said gently. "That's the plan unless you find work."

"You mean because I can't find work."

There was no way Sara would let him go down this depressive slippery slope. "You'd be taking care of the baby and Daniel, which is an unbelievable relief for me. Not only does it save us on childcare, but it gives you time to be with your sons. Gil, honey, I do believe that you will eventually find work. And it's not like you aren't contributing financially. Your pension and benefits will be reinstated. Don't you trust Dana?"

"I do."

"And do you trust me and my decisions? And please remember I am dangerously close to your crotch and full of hormones."

Again, there was a chuckle, but he soon spoke with all seriousness. "Sara, I trust you with my life, my mind, my heart and my soul." He brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes that began to well up with tears. "And my balls."

Her laughter made the tears slide down her cheek, and they sealed those thoughts with a passion-filled kiss.

"I'm so proud of you, Babe. You've overcome so much."

Grissom returned her hug, kissing her neck. "Only because of you. The strength you've shown through these few months of hell. You're an amazing woman, Sara, and I love you. I wonder if I deserve your love, but I always cherish it."

Sara shook her head, raising her hand to brush against his bearded cheek. "Enough of that kind of talk, Gilbert," she admonished gently. "Our love isn't a bargaining chip. I don't doubt your love for me, so don't ever doubt my love for you. OK?"

She drew him closer as she kissed him again, and then they rested their foreheads against one another. After a moment, they both felt a chubby fist pound against Grissom's leg.

"I think someone wants the movie to start."

"He just wants popcorn," Sara said as she gently vacated his lap.

Grissom scooped up his son and sandwiched the boy between mommy and daddy. Sara grabbed the DVD remote and started a movie she found at the local library.

"The tenth largest state in the United States, Oregon exemplifies the beauty and wildness of America's Pacific Northwest. From cultural venues to the state's diverse landscapes, from its financial centers to its educationally excellent centers of learning, Oregon draws visitors and future homeowners from every corner of the country. Rugged shorelines, verdant forests, towering mountains and steep river gorges, Oregon's natural attractions are breathtaking. …"