"People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."
Joseph Fort Newton (1880–1950), an American Baptist minister.
"You should all go to sleep, is getting late" Murphy said as they settled down.
To anyone listening, John sounded indifferent like he didn't really care if they listened or not to his suggestion, but those gathered around him knew that was not the case, his eyes gave him away; he was scanning the whole camp for possible threats. Everyone knew better than to comment about his actions though, he might care but they knew he wouldn't hesitate to punch anyone who pointed out that little fact.
"What about you?" Octavia asked concerned as she let Charlotte cuddle into her side.
"I will keep watch over all of you. I just don't trust those guys to not try anything while we are sleeping".
"We should take turns".
Clarke looked at the black boy affectionately; Wells was definitely the purest soul she had ever met, always thinking about other's people's comfort and general well-being.
Finn was about to take off to his tent the minute Murphy offered to stay awake but when Jaha junior put forward the idea of taking turns he felt obligated to stay, he believed they were paranoid and that it was pointless to lose sleep over nothing but Clarke would think him an asshole if he didn't offer his service too, and that was simply out of the question.
"Don't worry about me Junior and just go to sleep. I will be fine, it's not the first time I have spent the night without sleeping".
"I will keep you company". It didn't surprise anyone when Clarke offered to stay up with him; she was not one for sitting in the sidelines.
"Murphy said he was fine by himself" Finn remarked, he didn't like that Clarke seemed to gravitate towards John while completely ignoring him.
Wells immediately saw Clarke's pursed lips and barely restrained anger. He decided to intervene before things could get ugly.
"I think it would be better if no one is alone. Why don't we take turns in pairs?"
While Murphy always pretended to be oblivious about everything that didn't specifically pertain to him, he was an extremely observant man. One had to be, growing up how he did. It was that particular skill that allowed him to understand Wells's subtle request.
Catching his eyes, Murphy made a discreet gesture of understanding. "Wanna be my partner blondie?".
John and Wells had noticed that Clarke seemed to avoid any kind of interaction with the spacewalker; they had even discussed it a few times. The blonde clearly tried not to be obvious about it but when she nodded hurriedly, not giving anyone time to voice another suggestion, it cemented their previous speculations that she didn't want to be alone with him.
Octavia watched the whole interaction with amusement; from Wells concerned face to Finn's dejected one, ending with Murphy's smugness.
"I was thinking…"
Before Jasper could add another word Octavia interjected "Wells would you like to pair up with me?"
"Sure". If he noticed Octavia's relieved face at his answer he didn't say anything.
"Oh well, I guess that leaves Monty and me together"
"Hell no, we are not leaving you two stoners alone, it would be useless" Murphy pointed out, ignoring their indignant squeals, he didn't care about hurting their feelings, if his security was at stake he was not taking chances. "Both of you can pair up with the spacewalker"
"I want to help too"
"You have to rest Charlotte"
"But Clarke, it's not fair, I'm not useless" the smaller blonde whined.
"I will make you a deal short-stack, go to sleep tonight and you can stay with me and Blondie on our next shift. What do you say?".
Clarke didn't miss the fact that Murphy's voice lacked his usual contempt and his face seemed earnest, he was not just trying to placate her but truly offering to let her join them the next time. He seemed to have a soft spot for the little blonde, good; it might prove to be useful in the future.
"Aren't you going to thank me for saving you from the lovesick puppy?". John mocked her once they were alone.
Clarke punched him lightly but didn't deny his words, which was definitely not lost on John.
"You are an asshole, you know?". He simply nodded at her playful accusation.
Jonathan Murphy had always known he was a jerk but in his opinion, at some point in their lives, everyone is a jerk, everyone is lazy, everyone is cruel, everyone is selfish, he just didn't hide his true nature. He never saw the point in trying to deceive anyone, what you see is you get and if you don't like it… you can fuck off.
He would be lying if he said he didn't like the feeling of power he got walking down the Ark corridors; he was thrilled when kids, and even some adults, flinched away from him instinctively. The crowds parted for him, like the red sea, and that made him feel like a God. No matter how many times they call him a moron or dumb, he wasn't stupid; he had always known his power wouldn't last; brute force would never take you far in the Ark.
He was a lowly boy from farm station, who since a very young age knew he would never be a privileged one, he had already made peace with his predestined fate and so he simply enjoyed the perks of been feared while they lasted.
Since they had landed on earth his sense of self had been shaken to the core. Who was he in this strange world? And even more important; Who did he want to be?. No matter where the future might take him, John had already acknowledged the fact that his fate was inexplicably linked to the blonde next to him.
"Why did you include me in your little band of misfits since the moment we landed?" he asked her seriously, breaking their comfortable silence. Honestly, it had bothered him since the beginning; no one included him in anything unless they wanted something from him that is.
"As I said before you are a survivor"
"How do you even know what happened to me? And even more important; What do you want from me?. For the life of me, no matter how hard I try, I can't figure it out". He crossed his arms defensibly, shielding himself from her.
Clarke took a relaxing breath and patiently responded. "I heard from Wells about what happened to you. The chancellor didn't see anything wrong with his actions and so he didn't bother to hide it from his son"
"So I'm a charity case for you?" He instantly changed from confusion to anger. He didn't need hers or anyone's pity.
"Of course not, that's simply absurd"
"Am I angry on your behalf? Absolutely. No one deserves to go through the things you did"
"Do I pity you? Absolutely not. To pity you would mean diminishing your struggles and your strength to face them. You rose from the ashes; you survived things that would have devastated a lesser man. Why would I pity you? I admire you if I'm honest"
"Fine. Let's say I believe you, I still don't get your angle"
"Why would I have one?"
"Everyone does". John looked at her like she was stupid.
"I don't exactly have an angle as you put it, but I do want something from you"
His eyes danced with unconcealed mirth, he knew that deep down she was like everyone else, even if she denied it. He waited for her answer, she seemed to know how to survive in the earth and he sullenly admitted to himself that he needed her; maybe her price would be reasonable and their alliance didn't have to end.
Clarke saw the relief in his eyes. It seemed that all the people he had met before always wanted something in return and so knowing her price he could assess if it was worth the effort or not. She briefly felt annoyed with her previous self, why had she never notice how much he struggled? Why had she dismissed him so easily?. He was a byproduct of his abhorrent circumstances and no one had given him the opportunity to be better.
"I want your friendship". Clarke felt proud of herself for shocking the unflappable John Murphy.
"What?"
"That's my price if you will"
To say that he was baffled by her words would be an understatement. "You want me to be your friend? That's all?". He repeated unnecessarily, not giving credit to her words. Of everything he thought she would ask for, friendship had never even crossed her mind.
Clarke simply nodded; she had never been one to babble unnecessarily.
"Look, you can say no. I'm not going to force you to accept and don't worry, I will still share with you any knowledge I have about the earth"
"Well, I could do worse, I guess"
"Ouch! That truly hurt you know?" She answered dramatically pointing at her heart. "I'll have you know I'm an excellent friend" or I will try to be this time, she amended in her head.
"I like you" Murphy blurted out suddenly, lowering his eyes, seemingly ashamed of his confession. He had never uttered those words before to anyone except his father. When the boy realized she didn't laugh or mocked him he regained the confidence to keep talking.
"Not like the spacewalker, mind you. I mean I wouldn't mind banging you, you are hot, but what I meant is that I like you as a person". She openly laughed at his remark, it was simply Murphy been Murphy.
"I'm glad you do". Most thought him a simple-minded jerk but Clarke knew he would never backstab her, he was loyal to a fault.
"You should, I don't like anyone"
The pair heard noises coming from behind the bushes and instantly grabbed their knives, to anyone looking they were just relaxing around the fire but they were ready to strike at a moment's notice.
Clarke discerned a small and blurry figure in the distance. "Charlotte, is that you?"
The little blonde waved her hands and run towards them. Without stopping she launched herself towards Clarke open arms.
"Hey, what's going on? Did something happen?"
"I…" but the words got stuck in her throat and she started to sob uncontrollably.
Murphy just stared at her, unblinking, his eyes soft and sad-looking. "Did you have a nightmare?"
Charlotte looked at him perplexed "How did you know?"
John made a show of looking around to make sure they were alone. "Can I tell you a secret?" his voice was low and gravely, remarking the seriousness of his question.
The child nodded but didn't leave the safety of Clarke's embrace.
"I have them too and I bet Clarke has them as well".
By using her given name and not blondie or another nickname Clarke knew he was telling the truth. She promptly nodded, confirming Murphy's words.
"Do you want to talk about them?" Clarke didn't need to ask to know what was haunting Charlotte but she wanted the girl to feel comfortable. Maybe this was the first step to make sure that Jaha's actions didn't bit them in the ass.
"I see him every time I close my eyes, I can't escape him no matter what I do"
"Is the chancellor who hunts you?". At Clarke's words, Charlotte wept even louder.
"Well's has the same nightmare as you"
The little girl looks at her incredulously and Clarke knows this is the chance she has been waiting for.
"Well not the same, obviously, but the chancellor is his personal demon too". She purposely didn't say his father; she needed Charlotte to understand they were completely different people.
"Every time the chancellor ordered someone's execution for petty crimes like stealing medicine for their children, Wells wept for the prisoners and fought him on the decision". She pointedly looked at Murphy when she said this and he understood she was talking about his father.
Clarke was probably the only one in the Ark who knew how much Wells hated his father sometimes. The boy understood that crimes needed to be punished and the law needed to be upheld to be effective, but he also knew that there were times that mercy and compassion would have been a better solution. The blonde wanted Charlotte to understand how unreasonable it was to hold Well's accountable for what his father did.
"I never knew it affected him so much". Her voice was shaky and amazed at the same time.
"When he found out they were sending us to the earth he intentionally got arrested so I wouldn't be alone".
"But he didn't know if we would survive the trip".
"No, he didn't, but he was willing to risk his life for me. That's the kind of friend he is".
"Do you think he will help me deal with my nightmares?".
"Talk to him, I know he will do whatever he can to help you".
"Thank you, Clarke, thanks to both of you really".
"Don't mention it short-stack, what are friends for?". Charlotte's smile at Murphy's words could have light up the entire camp with its intensity.