I'm back bitches!

Now, seriously, I'm sorry for the long wait these past months have been grueling.

Thank you all for the amazingly positive reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

- Lincoln's Cave -

Lincoln was cradling Octavias' head and playing with her hair when a groan alerted him that she was waking up.

When the brunette was finally awake she ogled him and giggled, his confused face only seemed to amplify her amusement. A few moments later when he finally realized what was happening he tried to stand up and leave her side but the brunette grabbed his hand, silently asking him to remain in place.

Octavia sat in his lap and pulled him in for a kiss, making him forget why he was ashamed in the first place. What had started as a simple peck soon became heated, their limbs were tangled and their tongues danced to a music only they seemed to hear.

The friction generated by her movements made his pants tighten even more, once again he tried to move away but it soon became obvious that Octavia did not hold the same inhibitions as him for she simply smiled and reached for the string holding his pants in place.

Lincoln let out a guttural moan and his whole body involuntarily arched itself seeking more pleasure from the delicate hands fondling his throbbing erection. The haze of pleasure was such that it wasn't until Octavia reached inside his pants that he finally came to his senses.

The warrior held her hand and wrapped her in a side hug, making her desist in her endeavors. The brunette's confused face and slight pout were so adorable that he could not help it and started to laugh, making her angrily shy away from him.

Her anger was quickly escalating, it was one thing to be rejected but openly mocked about it. She would not tolerate that from anyone, not even the man she was quickly falling in love with.

Before the brunette could move too far away the warrior jumped to her side and held her in his arms tightly, he molded himself to her back and delivered butterfly kisses to her neck to try and appease her anger.

Her loud moans and eager response to his touch incited a primitive part of him; he was close to snapping and finally taking everything she was offering but in the end, his head won the war raging inside him.

Once his lust had subdued to a manageable level he finally spoke in what he hoped was a soothing tone; "Hurt" Lincoln said, pointing to the wound he had wrapped hours before.

"Oh, this little thing?" Octavia held his hand and tangled their fingers together. "It's nothing". She shrugged her shoulder nonchalantly.

"Not nothing" Lincoln replied stubbornly. He had cleaned and cauterized the wound; he knew how deep it ran and how painful it must be for her to be standing on her feet. She had even passed out from the pain at some point and now she was acting like it was barely a scratch.

"Im ok, really".

"I worry". His heart clenched painfully, would she see him as a weakling like his father once did? Useless, a disgrace, pathetic. The words rattled in his skull and made his head hurt, his breathing became a bit labored and his heart thumped painfully in his ribcage but before he could spiral even further he felt Octavia's hands delicately tracing his face; she smoothed the crinkle on his face and kissed him softly. All the feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing vanished; all he could see, all he could feel was Octavia and her delicious lips.

"I have had worse, trust me, this is nothing".

"Worse? You said no war in the sky, only one big tribe". His fury ran even hotter than his lust, he wanted nothing more than to find every single person who had dared to put their hands on her and make them pray for death.

Octavia was deeply touched by his concern, she felt tears prickle her eyes; no one, aside from Bellamy and more recently Clarke, had ever shown her so much love and gentleness.

"No wars but not exactly peaceful either"

The brunette smiled at him but it was such a sorrowful smile, full of grief and regrets that it broke his heart. What had happened to her in the sky?

"Want to talk about it?"

"No" She saw his face fall, he tried to hide it but Octavia easily saw he was hurt by her reluctance to confide in him; how could she make him understand that it wasn't personal? That she just didn't want to talk about it? How could she explain that telling someone else made it real? She believed that if she kept quiet she could pretend it had all been an elaborate nightmare.

Maybe she would never be able to make him understand but she could certainly try, in the end, she settled for a simple but not less accurate description of her feelings "memories hurt"

"My memories hurt too sometimes. Not good to keep them inside"

"One day. I promise"

"One day" he repeated and she somehow knew it was a vow written in stone. She saw his eyes glistening with unshed tears, he had been hurt too but his radiant smile held an unwavering promise; they would heal… together.

- Arker Camp -

The sun was starting to set, and Clark was sharpening her knife while talking to Murphy when Bellamy came rushing to her side.

"Clarke, have you seen Octavia?".

The blonde almost made a joke about his lack of physical endurance if running a few meters had him almost keeling over but his frantic eyes and wild gestures stopped her before she even opened her mouth. Clarke felt a chill in her spine; if her calculation were correct this was not supposed to happen yet.

The blonde barely listened to Bellamy's frantic explanations but she got the gist of it; he had asked everyone yet no one seemed to have seen her since the morning.

Clarke was so busy trying to come up with a plan to save everyone that she almost didn't hear his last words; "… so I'm going to look for her"

"Bellamy, wait! There are grounders everywhere, they probably have us surrounded you can't just…"

"I have to find her!"

Clarke recoiled a bit at the look in his eyes, it was the same haunted, soulless expression he had when he had joined Pike and his group. Shaking a bit to try and dispel the memory she grabbed his arm and force him to slow down.

"I was going to say that you can't go alone. Gather the weapons we have and I will get the others to come."

"I… ok… you are right" he nodded sheepishly and sprinted towards their makeshift armory; it was nothing more than a few scattered tables inside the dropship but like everything else they had it was theirs and that was enough to make his chest swell with pride.

Once Bellamy had left Clarke turned to Murphy "Gather the group leaders and have them meet us here"

Bellamy came back with a bag of their weapons and put them on the ground. Soon Murphy returned with Wells, Drew, and Glenn, closely followed by Raven and an out-of-breath Finn.

"Octavia is missing and we are organizing a search party for her," Bellamy said without preamble.

"Are we sure she is not just exploring the woods and just lost track of time?" Finn asked, clearly nervous about the idea of going outside their little barricade. He had never claimed to be the most courageous among the delinquents.

"Dude, really?" thankfully Drew intervened before Bellamy could deck the boy for his comment.

Clarke couldn't help but think that Finn was probably right but keeping up the pretense of being worried for the brunette was essential so she simply confirmed Bellamy's statement by telling them that Octavia had not checked in the whole day, something she had never done before no matter how busy she was.

"Tell your groups to grab whatever weapon they can find. My sister has been out there alone for more than twelve hours and we are not coming back without her."

Murphy was the first one to grab a weapon and leave, presumably to look for the purple team. Wells immediately copied his actions while Raven grabbed a knife and motioned for Finn to call for his team. Clarke couldn't help but think that Raven would be a much better team leader but not wanting to upset Finn she kept her mouth shut.

Drew and Glenn tried to follow the others but Clarke stopped them. "Drew you are not going"

He shook his head, trying to protest "Clarke, I'm ok. I want to help" his pleading voice was like a knife to her heart; she knew how much Octavia meant to him, she may have saved his body but it was the brunette and her cheering optimism who saved his troubled soul.

"We need all the people we can get," Bellamy said to her with his arms crossed but she stayed firm in her decision.

"I get it Bell, you are worried, but Drew stays"

Clarke turned to the blonde boy "I know you want to help find Octavia. I get that, so do I, but you are not ready"

"I can't stay inside our camp; you said I needed to face my fears." He said to her and she nodded.

"Yes I did but you don't have to do it so fast, especially not tonight and not like this. I was talking about baby steps. First, you get comfortable being outside, later we talk about you facing another grounder. Please, listen to me."

"Ok, I will stay"

"Thank you"

"I just don't like feeling useless"

"You are not useless Drew, a patrol group will stay here and I want you to lead them. Can you do it?"

"Anything for you" Clarke smiled when he saluted her and run to gather the orange group, glad that his voice no longer sounded dejected.

"You can't coddle him forever," Bellamy said to her once he was out of sight.

"Drew has PTSD, Bellamy. You don't overcome that overnight. He needs time and I will give it to him. We will give it to him, got it?" She said firmly, without giving him time to refute her claim. This time around she knew how much she had fucked up with Jasper and she had no plans to repeat her mistake. Thankfully Bellamy acquiesced with her demand and said nothing.

- Polis -

Halina noticed Lexa was restless tonight, nothing obvious to the untrained eye but she had been the Commander's personal maid since she ascended to the throne and so knew all her tails.

"Do you need anything else?" She asked softly while generously applying ginger ointment to her hair before brushing it.

"I just…" Lexa trailed off without finishing her sentence, her voice sounded wary and more than a little nervous, so unlike her usually formidable self that Halina couldn't help but compare her demeanor to the somewhat apprehensive one she exhibited when they had first met, five years ago.

- Flashback -

The brunette remembered how proud her parents had been when she had sent a messenger to tell the news; after a grueling process, she had been chosen as Heda's personal maid. To have been given such as prestigious role elevated her status in her tribe; Halina smiled like she never had done it before for she had finally managed to step out of her sister's shadow and made a name for herself.

She loved Victoria with all her heart, she truly did, but being chosen as the youngest leader in more than 80 years meant her sister's status was as close as divine as a simple mortal could get and thus absolutely everyone referred to her as Victoria's little sister like she was nothing more than an extension of her, and the worst part was that she couldn't even hate her for it; Victoria had always been supportive and caring, a steady port in a storm, hating her was impossible yet no matter how much she tried to resign herself to her fate her resentment festered for years and self-doubt began to gnaw away at her confidence.

A somber-looking man, who she would later learn was the Flamekeepa, had ushered her into a lavishly decorated room, told her to get dressed to wait for Heda and unceremoniously left without answering any of her questions.

Her excitement had diminished a little at the brusque treatment but she rapidly told herself to forget it, she was not a little girl anymore and should not be offended so easily by a stranger. Hopefully, the rest of the people living in the tower would be friendlier. When she opened the bag, expecting some kind of uniform, her heart dropped directly into her stomach. She had known exactly what was required of her, it was the first thing they had told her in the last interview, but being confronted with the reality of it was a lot harsher than she had expected.

To say Halina was nervous would be an understatement, she was on the verge of a panic attack; her mouth was dry as her desertic homeland, she was sweating uncontrollably and the nauseous feeling she had had since the Flamekeepa had left the room was still present.

The brunette sat on the enormous bed, clad in the finest underwear she had ever seen; it was made of silk and lace and clung to her body in a way her practical panties hadn't, she didn't have a bra but at least they had given her a robe. Only later she would notice the exquisite embroidered pattern, she didn't know it yet but that robe would become one of her most prized possessions.

After what felt like hours but it was probably only a few minutes the old wood creaked open. She didn't know what she had expected; maybe some ominous sound to punctuate the importance of the moment or even some thunder but whatever her imagination had been expecting it was certainly not a small brunette woman, dressed in tactical gear and carrying a bloody sword.

The brunette stumbled a little bit into the room, she was favoring her left leg and a bruise seemed to be blossoming on the right side of her face. As soon as she saw the room was not empty the woman squared her shoulders and tensed her hand around the sword, ready to attack the intruder.

"I'm not a threat," she said, holding her hand up in a universal gesture of surrender. Her robe had fallen open yet she made no move to cover herself, worried that any sudden movement might be taken as an attack.

"Im Heda" she sounded a bit nervous, seemingly not entirely too comfortable with her new title.

Halina couldn't help but think the smaller brunette looked adorable, well maybe adorable was not the right word to describe the new Commander but there was no other way to describe her expression.

"Lexa kom Trikru" she added, more confident this time.

"Im Halina kom Sankru. I was chosen as your handmaiden"

After hearing who she was Lexa's eyes opened wide and she finally seemed to realize Halina was sitting in her bed half-naked and that her robe was partially opened. Heda's cheeks were flaming red and she resembled a fish out of water, opening and closing her mind without making a sound.

To see such a face in such a serious woman was so jarring and disconcerting that Halina couldn't help but laugh. When she managed to regain control of herself and realized what she had done fear gripped her heart and ice filled her veins, she had a laugh at Heda and it hadn't been a cute flirty laugh to ease the sudden tension, no it had a been a deep and unabashed belly laugh. She kept still as a statue and gripped the soft sheets like her life depended on it and truth be told if Heda felt offended maybe it did.

To Halina's surprise, and relief, Lexa chuckled and simply told her she would not be expected to fulfill this particular duty.

"Am I not… adequate enough?" Even if she didn't like the situation she was in she couldn't help but feel the same doubts and self-consciousness that had plagued her whole life; always second best, always less… before she could spiral even further she realized the Commander was talking to her.

"… barbaric"

Halina snapped to attention immediately, rigid spine and stoically pursed lips. If Heda had noticed she hadn't been paying attention she didn't say a thing.

"You are a lovely woman but as I said before I won't take part in this tradition. I find it barbaric"

The brunette felt her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, Heda had definitely noticed she was distracted but had been polite enough not to mention it.

"Halina…"

"Yes, Commander?"

"I just… I know I'm not the first Heda to abstain from this but I do have a request from you"

"What can I do for you, Commander?"

"Can you sleep with me tonight?"

At Halina's bewildered expression, Lexa sighed apprehensively and chuckled mirthlessly. The Conclave and nightblood training had certainly not helped to develop her social skills.

"I'm not doing this right" She huffed and let out a sigh of frustration "Just sleep with me. Here, in my room I mean"

Halina cut short Lexa's rambling with a small smile and a discreet cough "I will take the couch if that's ok?"

"More than ok, it's perfect. Thank you for doing this, I know you could have refused my request"

It was technically true that she didn't have to comply with this particular tradition but the reality was that no servant had ever refused when the Commanders made sexual advances on them. Halina didn't voice any of her thoughts out loud instead she simply nodded silently, grabbed a fur, and moved towards the couch.

She was getting ready to sleep when she realized Heda had crossed the room and was kneeling beside the couch. Halina's heart was so out of control that she thought it a miracle that the Commander couldn't hear it. Maybe Heda had had second thoughts about abstaining.

The brunette had never found women sexually attractive but she couldn't deny Heda was gorgeous and if their interactions so far were any indication she was considerate and polite too, all in all, it was not such a bad position to be in.

"I have another favor to ask"

Heda's voice was uncharacteristically soft. Her sudden shyness put Halina at ease and made her smile, in that moment she didn't see the formidable woman who emerged victorious from a brutal Conclave merely days ago, instead, she realized that her stoicism was just a veneer, deep down Heda was just like her, a sixteen-year-old woman trying to find her footing in the world.

"If anyone asks you about tonight do not tell them what happened"

"But nothing did…"

"Exactly"

Halina was confused now, what would it matter if they slept together or not? If she was honest the fact that Heda hadn't wanted to sleep with her had made her respect the Commander even more; her refusal showed integrity and high moral standards, excellent qualities for a leader to have.

"I never had many friends when I was younger and now I only have Anya, Gustus, and Costia" Lexa sighed deeply, a forlorn look in her eyes. If only she hadn't been a nightblood… she shook her head, there was no point in dwelling on hypothetical what if's.

Halina didn't dare interrupt as unrelated as it seemed she knew Heda must have a reason to tell her this.

"As I didn't have much of a social circle I was free to focus on my training; when I was not sparring, sword fighting, or doing any other physical activity I was reading" Lexa smiled, the days holed up in the library reading the diaries of the past Commanders while playing with Costia's hair were some of the best moments in her life.

"While reading past Commanders' diaries and other historical records I realized that to maintain the position as Heda is not enough to win the Conclave, public perception also plays a big part. If you were to tell the truth about tonight I fear they will see me in a less favorable light"

- End Flashback -

Halina smiled at the memory. It had taken her only a few hours in her presence to realize that Lexa was destined to greatness in her path as Heda and while she couldn't have predicted the sheer magnitude of changes and reforms she would bring, like a Coalition no one had even dared to dream, she had been right, her reign was certainly one for the history books.

The brunette knew that none of those books would ever mention her, or if they did it would be just a footnote yet the idea of being completely forgotten didn't truly upset her for she knew how much Lexa valued her, as an exceptional handmaiden but more importantly as a close friend.

Ironically enough their deep friendship had started with a few rumors and well-placed lies; when people had asked her about her job as Lexa's handmaiden, unsubtly fishing for details on the first night, she deftly played the part of a shy, enamored lover; full of love-struck sighs intermixed with mischievous looks and suggestive lip biting.

It would never cease to amaze her that her little lies had been the catalyst of what would surely become an integral part of the living legend Lexa was proving to be, after all, no matter the time and circumstance it was seemingly universally accepted that a leader with performance issues was no leader at all or at the very least not a very good one.

She remembered like it was yesterday the day that Lexa realized why many young women gave her such sultry looks and brazenly checked her out whenever she passed by them.

- Flashback -

Lexa arrived at her room flustered and red in the face, full of nervous energy, mumbling about women invading her space all day and not letting her train. Halina, now a lot more comfortable around her, laughed hysterically and confessed what she had done.

"They just want to confirm the rumors about your expertise in the bedroom"

"What?"

Lexa's gobsmacked face sent her into another fit of laughter.

"As you asked I didn't say anything at first but they kept asking, honestly it was getting tiresome, and well… a few well-placed sighs and suggestive looks ensured no one would question me again"

Lexa chortled at the sheer absurdity of the situation but her mirth disappeared even faster than it had come.

"Costia…" words got stuck in her throat like she was physically unable to push them out.

"Already knows the truth, as a fact I enlisted her help in spreading the rumor of your astounding prowess" Halina smiled naughtily "unlike me she does have hands-on experience with it after all"

Lexa banged her head on her desk in exasperation; those two combined would be the death of her but despite her mild frustration she smiled fondly at her handmaiden, no, not just her servant, her new friend.

- End Flashback -

The scene between Heda and Halina reminisces the absurdly extended idea that a king or other nobleman had the right to sexually entertain a woman (or men if we include the epic poem Gilgamesh) on their wedding night.

This practice known as jus primae noctis ("right of the first night") was even included by Voltaire his Dictionnaire philosophique (1746), his writings were a big part of why so many people believe this practice really happened.

I honestly found the concept oddly fascinating (if a bit repulsive) and couldn't help but somewhat include it in the story. Obviously, it adds nothing to the story but I hope you enjoyed this little tidbit of historical reference.