His fingers twitched as he grasped the paper threatening to tear it into tiny unrecognizable pieces. That vapid, insolent creature. How dare he… How dare he! He was taking the easy road. He was playing the victim all the way through to the end. Eddward crumpled the paper up and tossed it into the trash can beside his desk.

He got up and paced the room back and forth and then back and forth again. How long had it been since he left the gym? Two, maybe three hours. His perception of time was off. What now… what was he supposed to do? How did this become his problem? Jensen had completely turned the tables and he fell right into the trap. Now Jensen's life fell into his hands.

Think, Eddward, think.

You know where Jensen lives. Why, you tutored him in sixth grade science back when he wasn't a complete vile, delinquent human being.

Okay, but I don't have a car. And I don't care about him.He's better off dead.

But don't you want to see if he went through with it? Close the coffin on all the pain and suffering he's cost you over the years.

The conflicting voice from dinner kept at him. Egging him on and pushing him. He was relentless, but he was right. He needed to see. Needed to know. Needed to stop it? He wasn't sure.

He reached for his phone.

Ring. Ring. Ring. "Hey Sockhead, what's up?" Came Eddy's voice from the other end of the line.

"Eddy, I need to borrow your truck," he said trying not to sound erratic.

"Yeah, what's up? Somethin' happen?" He asked.

"Yes, I- I need to be somewhere. Now," he said as he started lacing his shoes back up and made his way to the stairs.

His parents' room was located at the opposite end of the hall near the guest bedroom and he didn't bother checking in with them. For all the free time they allotted him while they were away they shouldn't expect for him to ask permission when they decided to make an appearance.

"That's kinda vague," Eddy responded.

Eddward paused halfway down the stairs. "The details don't matter at the moment," Eddward answered exasperatedly since he still couldn't process what was happening.

"Alright, fine, but I'm coming with you," Eddy said without hesitation.

He quickly finished descending the staircase and made his way to the front door.

"That's- that's fine. But we need to go now," he said as he shut his front door and started the short descent to Eddy's house.

"I'm just waitin' on you," Eddy said already leaning against his truck as Eddward made his way over.

As he got closer Eddy hung up the call and put his phone in his pocket. Seeing Eddy do this, Eddward mimicked the notion.

"This have something to do with, Shovelchin?" Eddy questioned with a skeptical eyebrow raised once Eddward was standing before him.

Eddward was taken aback for a brief second, "this has absolutely nothing to do with Kevin," he said as Eddy kicked his leg off the truck and got into the driver's side.

Eddward quickly pulled the passenger side door open and hopped inside. Eddy started the truck and then leaned back in his seat and turned to Eddward.

"So, where to?"

Eddward swallowed as he gave the address. Eddy scrunched his face up as he pondered the location.

"Why does that sound so familiar? We been there before?" He asked as he put the truck in drive and exited the cul-de-sac.

Eddward said nothing as he stared out the window. As they rode it started to rain lightly and Eddy switched on the wipers. Moment by moment was spent in agonizing silence. Eddward's mind was racing. There was so much uncertainty floating in the air. As the truck approached the destination bright flashing lights came into view. An ambulance. Three police cars. A fire truck. Eddward's heart thumped so hard he felt his sweater vibrating from the pulsations.

"Holy shit, what the fuck happened here." Eddy said more as a statement, but the question was still there.

Did he do it?

They parked on the opposite side of the street and Eddy shut off the engine. There was a small crowd of people huddled outside the house which had its front door wide open. A very upset woman had collapsed onto the front lawn sobbing. A man stood beside her with an equally distraught look on his face. A paramedic made his way out of the house pulling a stretcher that was carrying a black body bag on it. The woman lurched upright and threw herself at them. She grabbed the bag and sobbed harder. There was no way to hear anything, but no words had to be spoken to understand what went on here tonight.

Eddward started to rock back and forth in his seat. His hand came up and twisted itself in the fabric of his hat. He bit his bottom lip so hard he could taste the slight tang of copper. His breathing was becoming erratic. He swallowed hard trying to calm himself down. This was his fault. How the fuck had this become his problem?!

If he'd just listened to Jensen. If he'd found the letter sooner. If he…

Why was he starting to care?!

Eddy placed his hand on Eddward's and squeezed. Eddy was no longer looking at the scene outside, his gaze was fixed solely on Eddward.

"Tell me what happened," he said calmly.

What happened… What happened?! Jensen was more of a mastermind manipulator than Eddward had previously given him credit for. Kudos to you Jensen.

"I…I…" The words weren't forming.

They were there. Right there on his tongue trying to break through the gap in his teeth.

Eddward's chest felt tight and heavy. Like a boulder had settled on him and was slowly crushing all the air out of his lungs. Why was this happening to him? He didn't do anything. There was no way he could have foreseen this.

He's dead, where was the relief? No more worrying about Jensen. He was gone, forever. There would be no more late night panic attacks. The nightmares should disappear. Insomnia would be a thing of the past. He could finally relax and live his life.

But then why, why did he feel so guilty.

Eddy squeezed his hand.

"I saw Jensen tonight," he managed to say.

Eddy instantly tensed, the anger overtook, "what the fuck did he do to you, I swear to God if he even-"

"It was nothing like that, he just wanted to talk," Eddward cut him off before he could finish.

"Okay, so what… wait," he started and then turned his head back to the scene unfolding, "fuck, that's his house," Eddy said as he stuck his thumb to the window. "But then, he-"

"He killed himself," Eddward managed to say.

Eddy's lips formed a line as he turned to look out the window. The ambulance was pulling away. Jensen's parents were no longer on the front lawn. Eddy nodded his head and then started the truck back up.

"Good riddance," he said as he put the truck in drive.

Eddward's eyes remained on the house until it was out of sight.

"Eddy," Eddward said.

"No, fuck him Dee. Fuck him and everything he ever did to you. He almost killed you. He didn't deserve to live. As far as I'm concerned the world's better without the likes of him." Eddy spat as they approached the cul-de-sac.

Even though the words were spoken about Jensen, they resonated deep within Eddward. Because how he saw it, this was on him. So somewhere out there this same statement could be made about him. The letter had said that he was the only one who would know the real reason why Jensen took his life There would be no other evidence. Jensen would always be his villain, but when looked at in reverse, he was Jensen's.

Eddy idled the car outside of Eddward's house. Eddy still looked pissed beyond reason. Eddward sighed as he opened the door. He went to hop out when Eddy grabbed his arm.

"I… I'm not sure why, but I have this feeling," Eddy paused and Eddward stared at him, "Dee, tell me honestly. You're not gonna go cut are you?"

The words dove right through his ears. Eddy was never this direct.

"Not right now, no," he answered.

"Okay," Eddy said and Eddward got out of the truck.

He closed the door and before he could turn around to go up the stairs Eddy lowered the passenger window.

"I'm here, Dee. I'm not goin' anywhere and I'm glad nothin' happened to you tonight," Eddy said.

Eddward smiled, "Goodnight, Eddy." Eddy turned his truck and pulled across the cul-de-sac to his house.

Eddward looked across the street to Kevin's house. He looked up at Kevin's bedroom window. There was no sign of anyone there, but his heart still hurt. He wanted to see Kevin. Kevin had called him. Maybe he should… his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Kevin.

'I nee 2 tak 2 u'

His heart filled with a mixture of butterflies and dread. They were already broken up so it's not like he could leave him again. Eddward swallowed hard and pressed the call button. The phone rang several times until Kevin finally answered.

"Hey, uhm this is kinda awkward. I didn't think you'd call me. I'm still kinda drunk." Eddward heard a rustling coming from the other end of the phone followed by Nazz talking, he couldn't quite make out what she was saying though, "No Nazz. I need to ask it now before I lose my nerve." A door slammed, "okay, you there?"

"I'm here," he answered and looked at Kevin's window even though he wasn't there.

"Okay, uh. I just- fuck. Okay I just need to know something. So just answer me honestly okay. This has been fuckin' with me since… yeah okay. When did you know?" He asked.

"When did I know what exactly?" Eddward asked.

"When did you know it was over between us because I was fighting, Dee. I was fighting everyday and no matter how hard I tried you just… you shut me out. Just tell me when you stopped trying." Kevin's voice broke at the end.

"Kevin, you're drunk. Can we maybe just wait-"

"I've been waiting. Just tell me!" Kevin yelled.

Eddward felt tears prick his eyes. He didn't think his heart could hurt anymore than it already was. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and took a deep breath.

"The day I skipped my track meet. When you found me in the tub. I realized we were both fooling ourselves if we thought this could ever work because-" Kevin cut him off abruptly.

"But I told you… I told you I loved you and you… you said it back. How…" Kevin paused as his breath quickened, "How the fuck is that the day you decided to give up on everything?! To give up on us?!"

"Kevin, please-"

"No, no you listen. Fuck you Eddward, just… fuck you. I'm the one who's done now. Done with you and your fuckin' lies," Kevin's voice was hoarse and laced with pain and betrayal.

There was heavy breathing and then the call went dead. Eddward looked up at Kevin's window as he let the tears stream freely down his face.

"It's the day I realized I'd never be good enough for you. I can't change who I am and I couldn't." He choked on a breath of air. "I can't bring you down with me…I just won't. I was selfish to stay with you as long as I did. I need you, but you- you don't… no one needs me," he said as he returned his phone to his pocket.

He turned to go inside, but turned back to give Kevin's window one final look. "I'm sorry I'm the villain in your story too."