The orange one led us up a secondary rock tunnel, and through another corridor of bent trees. He seemed more spry an energetic than his friends, walking at our pace.

The moon's low gravity made their jungle plants deformed and heavy around the top and middle, like swamp trees in the bayou. We marveled at the peculiarities we passed.

I frowned at my sister. "How come you're so...unusually gifted, and I can't do half the stuff you do?"

She stopped and stared at me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you can just press your hand to a window and read the aliens' minds like it was nothing."

Gertie shrugged. "You probably could have done it too. You just didn't try because you're a fraidy cat. They were thinking really loud."

Jamie cast her a skeptical glance. "I somehow don't think that's all there is to it."

"I was really close to ET. I kissed him, and, and, put him in my clothes and everything. He liked my geraniums. Remember how he brought that dead one back to life?"

Space germs, I thought. "I was in close contact with him too. But you seem to be twice as powerful as me."

Gertie made a face like she were trying to comprehend a riddle or a difficult math problem. "I don't know. I'm younger, and adults have to explain a lot of things to me that you already know, like looking both ways before crossing a street. I...do things without thinking about them."

My girlfriend's eyes widened. "She lacks common sense! That's what it is!"

Gertie still appeared to be concentrating really hard. "...Maybe. Rilquza...also found it interesting that I don't think about boys."

"I...guess people don't use their brain very much when thinking about that."

Jamie smirked. "There was a guy on TV talking about that, how people only use a percentage of their brains."

We passed by a path branching off to an underground lake with the waterfall I'd seen earlier, arriving at a large hut, for lack of a better term.

"Wow, it's like Sukkot!" I remarked.

Jamie gave me a blank look. "What?"

"The Feast of Booths. It's a Jewish thing. You go outside, a lot of times in your back yard, and camp out in a little wooden building. People hang fruit and vegetables from the ceiling. Some get pretty elaborate." I paused to admire the hut's craftsmanship.

"I'd definitely call this `Sukkot' elaborate."

Actual wooden walls grew into the shape of pillars to form the exterior, bedecked with `carvings' of nature scenes and beings from ET's race. For furniture: Mushroom stools, couches that looked like Venus flytraps, and a long `coffee table' that appeared to be made from animal, plant and machine parts. We plucked low hanging apples and bunches of grapes from the roof, chowing down.

Jamie showed me an etrog. "What is this thing? Some kind of squash? An...alien plant?"

I shook my head. "It's like a lemon. Most everything I've seen here seems to be from earth...well, except for these weird couches and stuff. It doesn't surprise me. We're only on the moon. It probably takes some effort to get stuff from his planet over here."

"Where's the bathroom?" Gertie asked our orange host.

Looking confused, Tolmina offered a glowing finger.

Gertie reddened with embarrassment, but still touched her index finger to his. After a moment of silent communication, the alien laughed. "Fol-low."

Me and Jamie kinda had to go too, so we trailed behind.

Not what I expected. The toilet, if you could even call it that, looked more like a pitcher plant and didn't use water-unless you counted its irrigation pipe. The seeming lack of privacy troubled us too. Like the bathroom in a barn, the walls stood a little too low for comfort.

Their sink had a bowl shape, and some type of pumice-like cleaning substance and a sponge filtered pipes feeding into the pitcher plant's watering system. The water came on whenever you waved your hand in front of it. I'd never seen anything like it in my life.

My sister scowled at the pitcher plant. "I...don't like that thing. What if it eats me?"

"Gertie, I'm sure they wouldn't be telling you to do that if they didn't use it all the time."

Jamie nodded. "I don't like the idea either, but I'm sure there's tons of those things where we're going. We only have a limited supply of...Depend-O's, and I don't think they want us to just...pee anywhere. We're going to have to get used to them eventually."

"Let us know if you fall in," I joked.

Jamie elbowed me. "Don't say things like that! She'll never use it!"

"This must be what parenting is like," I muttered.

We took turns using the facilities, returning to our Sukkot.

During our absence, someone had set out food, all vegetarian: A loaf of bread with a bowl of spread that tasted like refried beans and peanut butter, a type of gooseberry jam, cheese, stuffed mushrooms, a variety of nuts, and, ironically enough, granola. Since she "Lacked common sense," my sister ate without questioning whether it were safe. Lucky for us, it was. We ate our fill, then, as the aliens still had yet to conclude their meeting, got situated for bed.

I initially thought Gertie crazy for suggesting we pack swimsuits. It had been all together the wrong time of year for it, and even Dad thought it ridiculous when we asked him to buy one for Jamie. But now that we had a choice between not bathing and swimming beneath a waterfall, we were glad Gertie thought of it.

The air bubbles behaved strangely in the moon's low gravity, but the water itself remained in swimmable form.

This day had been overwhelming. I needed time to think about a few things alone. I swam away from the girls.

The water didn't go deeper than about four or five feet, but Gertie kept to the shallows. She and Jamie muttered to each other as I did the back float.

Jamie must have noticed something, for she paddled up to me. "What's wrong?"

I settled on a submerged boulder, letting out a heavy sigh. "Guess."

She frowned. "It was your idea. We'll probably never get to see our families again, but what can we do?"

I didn't answer.

"That's not it, is it?"

I slowly shook my head.

"Roger's gone. You don't have to worry about him anymore."

"He beat me up and you didn't care, you just kissed him."

"People can change, Elliott. I taught him a lesson, and we're friends now. What's hating him really going to accomplish? You've got to start learning to forgive people. He helped us."

"Okay, honest? I don't hate him, I...just feel like the ugly kid who has to tie a steak around his neck to make the dog want to play with him. I have a captive audience. That's the only reason you're sticking around."

"Elliott, it's not like that." Her face reddened. "I love you. I...just...love Roger too."

I swam away from her.

Of course I couldn't just leave my little family, so, with much reluctance, I dried off and returned to our `suite.'

My companions came back, Jamie and I sharing a moment of awkward silence. Perhaps to cheer me up, Tolmina greeted me with two peace signs raised above his head, like archival footage of Richard Nixon.

Jamie giggled, flashing him a similar sign. "Hey! Peace man!"

In response, Tolmina gave her two thumbs up like The Fonz. "Hey..."

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, Elliott. Here's your `Where's the beef.'"

Tolmina put his hands on his hips like the lady on the commercial. "Where's-"

I waved my hand in annoyance. "Don't do that."

"Feel better?" Jamie asked me.

I sighed. "Yeah. I guess Roger's not going to build a ship and come find us."

She got kind of quiet after that

Our bedding proved to be another unusual experience. Tolmina had to open the mouths of the Venus flytrap sofa things for us, and Gertie wouldn't lay down until the alien did it first. In fact, she didn't even sleep until Jamie traded beds with her, as she had chosen a bed that looked like a bisected yellow squash.

Tolmina stepped out to let us rest.

Although comfortable, sleep didn't come easy. We lay staring through the gaps in the roof, watching fruit bats flitting around the stalactites.

"Why do you think they have a moon base?" Jamie asked me.

"I don't know, probably just in case one of their ships break down and they need to make a pit stop."

"Most of these guys seem a little...old..."

"I kinda think earth isn't a very popular place. To them it's probably like the middle of nowhere, and I don't imagine it's very convenient to get to. They probably don't change staff very much."

"They've been...holding counsel a long time. What do you think they're talking about?"

"Dunno. You've noticed how slowly they talk, haven't you? Maybe some of them think at that speed."

"What's so bad about us going to their planet?"

"Not sure. They said it's dangerous. Maybe they're worried about more than us, maybe they think we're dangerous. What our people did to ET probably doesn't help the situation."

"I didn't see any spaceships. What are they going to do, fix up our old junker so it can travel to that other place?"

"I don't know."

I guess Tolmina had heard us talking, for then he came waddling in with something that looked like a snail cradled in his hands, offering it to me.

I rolled over to face him. "No thank you. I'm not hungry."

He only smiled and brought it up to my face.

I sat up with a start. "Hey! I said I don't want that!"

Tolmina grabbed my hand, talking in my mind. This is a communication device. Please put it in your ear.

He let go, again offering the `device.'

Its shell bore the same design I'd seen in their place of worship, some natural modification they'd made with their strange powers, I figure. After glancing inside, I wished it were only a slug.

The slimy thing, although translucent and somewhat shapeless, had six feelers sticking out of its eyeless head, and something like baby octopus tentacles projecting from an orifice in the center of its face.

"You. Want me. To stick that in my ear." The orange guy nodded.

As a rule, I made it a point not to touch anything in the soft bodied invertebrate family. Baiting a fish hook or eating the occasional unkosher clam was as far as I would go.

I shuddered, grabbing Tolmina's 's hand, to make sure he understood me. "You guys don't even have ears. How do we know that thing won't hurt me?"

The alien smirked at my fearful mental images of Star Trek's ear invading space worms, sending back a mental image of a baby octopus tentacle glowing like a finger as it gently pressed against a cartoony diagram of an ear drum.

"But how do you know? Who or what did you test it on? Aren't we the only humans that have visited you?...Ever?"

Rilquza and other Abreyas like him have used Jandaga with no ill effect. We have also tried it on rabbits, monkeys and panda bears.

"You have those here?"

He nodded. Jandaga are vegetarian. The closest thing they come to consuming meat is devouring the secretions of other animals. Please use it. It will make our communication much easier.

Jamie sat up in her bed. "What did he say?"

I shook my head, questioningly sent Tolmina an image of Mr. Mind from one of those old Captain Marvel comics, a little worm with glasses and a talk box.

Tolmina smiled. Be nice to Mr. Mind and he'll be nice to you.

"What happens when it gets hungry?"

It might nip a little, but this one is well trained. You can coax her out. You probably won't need her in that long anyway.

I supposed if a creature could root around in Gertie's mouth and not make her sick or injure her, it might not be so bad. I swallowed. "...Fine. I'll try it."

I lifted the squirming creature to the side of my head.

The snail shell had a sort of naturally grown `hook' to it, which kept it on the wearer's ear. I think it worked so well on me because Rilquza had ears too.

The moment the slug thing crawled into my ear, it went crazy, poking and prodding everything, filling the canal with disgusting dampness. I screamed as it nipped me.

Jamie jumped off her bed, rushing to my side. "Elliott!"

Her hand reached up to grab the thing, but I stopped her. "It's...cool. I...don't know what it's doing, but it doesn't hurt. Sorry, I guess I panicked."

She still looked worried.

My ear filled with wet kissing sounds. "Tolmina said it...devours secretions...I think it's...eating wax."

My girlfriend giggled. "When's the last time you cleaned your ears?"

Tolmina chuckled, indicating, perhaps, that the device already worked.

The creature oozed over my eardrum and settled there.

"Earwax is actually fatty acid and skin cells." Gertie got out of her squash bed. "I read that in a book."

I locked eyes with the alien. "Um...is your device working?"

After a half minute delay, Tolmina nodded, seating himself on a mushroom. A string of purring noises came out of his mouth.

"He sounds like the Incredible Hulk gargling with marbles." Jamie gave me her best Lou Ferrigno impression.

I understand you have many questions, the creature translated in my brain. Perhaps I can help.

"What do we call...your people? The ones that look like...Vorxora?"

Qulpari.

"Ask him why he's so young," Jamie said.

I started talking, but the slug's shell flashed before I could make a sound.

My parents met on the moon project. They love each other very much. I am thirty years old.

"Where are your spaceships?"

Jamie leaned closer. "Ask him if he's going to improve our ship."

I am not allowed to show you our vehicles. We are holding counsel to determine if you are permitted to travel to our planet.

"They're holding out," I muttered to Jamie.

They are uncertain if a warlike race like yours deserves to travel to our planet, but they admire your cleverness.

Gertie smiled at him. "How old is he?"

"Thirty."

Many of my kind are over one hundred years old.

"He's just a kid."

She chuckled. "How does he make babies?"

"Don't ask him that!" I protested.

The image of a slimy egg flashed into my mind, along with...some other things I wished I hadn't seen.

"Why was he bowing to a wall?" Jamie asked.

Ponai is our God. It is not represented by graven image. Tolmina sent me an image of the fiery symbol. This is how you write our god's name. In response to an unspoken question, he added, We burn meal offerings to Ponai, the fragrance travels through the Chirqui (obelisks) to the great temple in Mezotbi.

"Why do you have all these earth plants and bunnies and stuff?"

Your people are destroying the planet with clear cutting and pollution. Our intent is to preserve as many species as possible before your people drive them into extinction. We grieve the loss of Dodo, Thylacine, passenger pigeon, Ibex, Tasmanian tiger, black rhinoceros. The extinctions must not continue.

"How did you get them here?"

We have taken infant samples of the wildlife. Mostly herbivores, but we do have a sampling of more aggressive species as well.

I stared. "Herbivores? You mean like cows?"

My words must have translated as "Hamburger" because he replied, We do not eat them. They produce milk and cheese for us, and that is sufficient.

"Have you got any whales?"

Yes. Vorxora's crew took a male and female back to Jufuceri.

Gertie sat on the edge of my bed, seeming to forget how it scared her earlier. "Are you a boy or a girl?"

"Gertie!" I groaned.

Girl. At least that's what it sounded like.

So Tolmina's not just a name, I thought.

Jamie also took a seat next to the alien. "Why are you...watching TV shows?"

We are trying to understand your messages. They are very confusing. Perhaps you can explain a few things to us.

The female led me to the machine they'd been using to watch sitcoms, putting on a recording.

The level of technology ET's people was astonishing. Recording machines with the amazing power to skip commercials with the push of a button, no fast forwarding required. They could tape multiple programs at once, on a schedule, like a VCR but ten times better. If I read the screens correctly, they had months, possibly years of recordings in their crystal computer systems. The menus were all in alien writing though.

Tolmina pulled up an episode of Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future, skipping ahead to the segment where you're supposed to, I don't know, point a gun at the screen?

What am I supposed to do with this?

I shrugged. "You might as well ask me why they put statues on Easter Island."

Tolmina looked disappointed when I explained what Easter Island was, and how little we understood it.

So It is like the Wazlovo, she thought, sending me the image of an equally mystifying monument.

The alien requested explanations about football highlights, then Jim Bakker's PTL Club, My Mother the Car, The Flying Nun, and an episode of The Facts of Life where Natalie hacks into the computer of a rival muffin company to steal recipes. She also asked for me to explain songs like The Power of Love, Careless Whisper and You Can Go Your Own Way.

A leopard spotted Qulpari named Urdorla gave Gertie and Jamie a type of headphone you plugged into your ear, asking them to explain some other songs and programs.

We couldn't explain a lot of the music (Especially Led Zeppelin), even when they replayed the songs over and over. It's not like we could just get on a computer and search a worldwide encyclopedia for song lyrics. "You'd have to fly down to a record store and read the album sleeve." I told them.

Somehow the aliens took this to mean the songs had religious meaning, you know, because they were as enigmatic as the Wazlovo.

The aliens' recording system, although advanced, had only captivated Gertie and Jamie's attention for so long, especially since Tolmina asked me to kill jokes and explain really ordinary things. Urdorla led them off on a tour in the middle of a program, leaving me to work alone.

When Tolmina showed me The Ghost and Mister Chicken, I said I was tired and went to bed.

I found Jamie and Gertie already asleep when I came back to our `booth.'

Before I curled up, the alien showed me how to `tickle' my alien earwig to get it out before it got really hungry.

Now used to them, the very soft, waterbed-like organic couches lulled me to sleep.

I awoke to the sound of screaming.

I tried to get up and I found out why: During our rest, the Venus flytrap things had closed on us.

Not as life threatening as I originally thought. Although the plant gurgled like it intended to swallow me whole, as soon as I panicked and struck it, the mouth opened and it let me go.

Jamie sat up bug eyed on her own couch. "You all right?"

I nodded. "Guess it's just another thing we'll have to get used to."

For breakfast, the aliens served us...organic juices, cocktails of oranges, peaches and cranberries. Honestly, too pulpy and bitter. Could have used sugar. The entree consisted of some sort of cheese lasagne. In keeping with the vegetarian theme, I would have preferred a cheese danish and granola for breakfast, but it's bad manners to complain about what a host gives you, unless they ask.

"I want donuts and pancakes!" Gertie complained.

I sighed. "We'll have to ask about that later. Right now, we should just accept what they gave us."

My sister reluctantly nodded.

"You should have seen what we did last night," Jamie remarked in between bites. "We picked up squirrels and birds and they didn't fight back. We pet them and everything! Animals never let you get this close!"

"Well, they probably don't have any predators here, or bratty kids trying to hurt them."

The aliens' giant scavenger shrimp came into our room, pawing on our mouths. Since I hadn't brought my toothbrush out of the ship anyway, I let it clean my teeth.

Just as gross as Gertie described.

The moment we left our Sukkot, we found ourselves surrounded by Qulpari, with Rilquza at the lead.

For a long time, none spoke, they just stared and noises to each other. I didn't have the thing in my ear, no idea what they said.

At last, Colzest (the splotchy one) approached me. "Fol-low."

We impatiently trailed behind our slow moving guide, puzzling over the bare sections of stalagmites and moon dirt we kept seeing.

"What do you think we're doing here?" Jamie whispered.

I frowned. "Dunno."

"Quiet," Colzest growled.

Jamie scowled, put her hands on her hips. "That was rude!"

Colzest only made a snarling noise. "Quiet! Do not talk!"

My girlfriend raised an eyebrow. "That's the most I've heard him say since-"

I elbowed her. "Shhh!"

Colzest led us to a patch of dirt, handing us weirdly shaped gardening tools, a type of hoe with a short stick and roto tiller blades, a hoe with just a handle (no pole attached to it), spades with springloaded sides, and some other tools that looked pretty much like regular gardening equipment. "Work."

"Seriously?" Jamie cried.

The alien growled. "Shut up."

My girlfriend's face flushed red, shooting me a look that said, `Do something.'

I only replied with a shrug and a face that said `What else can we do?'

We silently churned up the soil with the tools, put down seed and manure where Colzest told us.

"Spock," Jamie deadpanned. "Your analysis?"

I kept working, answering in a stage whisper. "They're big on gardening. Maybe they're trying to test our skill with this backwards equipment."

Colzest hissed at us. "Quiet!"

An hour later, as we took a break for water, Urdorla waddled up to my sister, raised her hand, and slapped the poor little girl hard across the face.