I thought I had finished staring at the man for being bizarre. Guess not.

"Kids," Roy said. "Meet Norenio Vokes, my plus one. Like I said, it's been a little strange..."

I frowned, not even paying attention to Gumvupu scanning me with her laser and processing fabric with her biomechanical device. Not even old Gumvupu politely insisting, for the third time, that Gertie try on her new apparel, could get my attention.

Of course, the weird scenery outside had something to do with it too.

Roy. Shacking up. With a random space creature. What else could be in this carnival sideshow? "That's your new wife?"

Norenio's minus sign pupils. A hand flew to her side as if checking for a seatbelt. I'd later find out that's where the Abreya heart is located.

The man laughed nervously. "Wife? No! Good Lord, I'm forgetting my own language...what's `Plus One' supposed to mean?"

I thought I knew the answer, but then I started wondering myself.

"Never mind," he sighed.

Norenio jabbered with Roy for a moment. "Wife?" she kept asking, pointing to her chest. Her humanoid guinea pig face glowed with excitement. "Yes? You husband?"

ET smiled, gave a few polite little claps as he muttered to Colzest.

The latter gave Roy a thumbs up. "Yeahhh!"

Blushing furiously, Mr. Neary shook his head, waved his hands. "Whoa, wait! No one's getting married!"

Norenio let out a noise like a dog with its tail being stepped on. Her mousy ears drooped.

The Qulpari shrank a little.

Roy grabbed the female's hand. "Nadwila..." I think that's some kind of affectionate term.

The Abreya put her hands on her hips. "Marry when!"

"Uh, not yet." He responded back in the other language, pantomiming rocking a baby, then `Nothing' and `Where?'

Norenio frowned. "I'm beginning to think we're nothing."

"Oh honey-!" He pulled her close in an embrace, rattled out a few more things.

Charlie purred, nuzzled against Gertie's neck, then flitted out of the tent. When my sister tried to run after him, Roy grabbed her by the collar, stopping her from leaving. "Don't run off."

"But you let Jamie run off!" she protested.

"Yeah? That's because she's older."

"That's not fair!"

Roy sighed in frustration. "Life's not fair. Look. I already got one kid to hunt down. I'd like to figure out where the first one went off to before I go looking for you..." He scowled. "Thought she'd be back by now..."

As he continued bickering with his...`non wife,' ET said something to him.

"Hey! This is my mess, little guy, not yours! Why don't you butt out!"

More arguing.

With a sigh, Roy's `plus one' gave me and Gertie an exaggerated wave. Apparently eager to practice a language that she had no other use for, she launched into a speech that seemed a little obvious: "My name is Norenio Vokes. I am Roy Neary's girlfriend, because he is my boyfriend!...In Murtux, the word is the same for both: `Ik najufe dusvo Royneary.' `Roy Neary is my najufe, my mating partner.'"

Roy visibly cringed.

"Uh, nice to meet you, Norenio," I stammered.

The female smiled. "I and Roy Neary are in a relationship. We have slept together many times. Roy Neary thinks we will not make an egg, but I am trying very hard. We try hard together. I even wear special costumes—"

The more she spoke, the more red faced Roy became. "Norenio! No! Impolite!"

The two argued in Murtux, the female explaining how talking about bed clothing hurt no one's feelings, Roy trying to convince her that children shouldn't be hearing about all that.

Shaking his head in annoyance, Colzest propped himself up against a counter and took a siesta.

By then Gertie's outfit had been completed. She changed behind a dressing screen.

At last, Norenio told me, "I am sorry. I have committed xemsadru, a...social embarrassment."

"Faux pas," Roy corrected.

Norenio practiced the phrase with him a couple times, nodded to us. "I have committed a...faux...pas. I am sorry."

I tried not to look too disgusted. "It's okay."

The Abreya smiled at her `najufe.' "He says it is okay." Then, to me, "Roy Neary loves me, but he is shy." She knelt down to my sister's level, looking her in the eyes. "You look...very...nice." She said the same to me, like she didn't know what the word meant.

I furrowed my brow. "Uh, thank you." I pointed to Gertie's brand new outfit. "Honestly, she looks nicer. I'm still wearing my old clothing."

The alien blinked, not comprehending. "How...are...you...doing?"

"Uh, fine, I guess. Honestly, I'm a little concerned about Jamie..."

She cast a questioning look back at Roy, commencing a brief Murtux dialog.

"She's going to turn up eventually," the man said. "She's probably with Meatwad. All we have to do is ask someone if they've seen the other creature they'd taken into the Amujru a few days ago...Or a pale long legged thing with hair on top of its head and dirty clothes."

ET checked with Meat, I mean, Meazquad, but his partner hadn't sighted her. He said he'd keep an eye out.

I pointed to his najufe. "I thought you said you were alone. As in, by yourself."

He and Norenio got into a heated argument, the female's tail snapping more and more angrily the more they talked.

ET flinched at these outbursts, shrinking back like a spider before a flame. Colzest only stirred from his slumber, rolling his eyes.

Norenio indignantly crossed her arms. "Hmph!"

We both stared as she stomped out in a fuming huff. Roy called after her, but she didn't turn around.

"Guess I am alone now," the man grumbled.

Colzest growled.

"Yeah? I know it's disharmonious! Tell me something I don't know! Did you do anything to stop her? No, I don't think so, you're just being nosy! You need to butt out too, mister!"

ET and Colzest exchanged knowing looks.

The old tailor lady showed me my completed outfit. To be honest, too much pink and purple for my taste, especially with that girly lace trim, but it was clean. I put it on and marched to the tent entrance.

"Where are you going?" the man asked.

"To look for Jamie. It's boring in here."

Roy took a deep breath. "Right. Of course you know we'll have to come back to get her outfit."

A Qulpari made an angry squawk as Roy carelessly squashed its foot in his haste to leave the tent. As he uttered profuse apologies to the angry creature, he bowled over another Qulpari. Both Colzest and ET slowly shook their heads, muttering to each other.

Meazquad returned to the group. No sign of Jamie from his side of the market either. It seemed he had purchased a communication device. It now dangled from a necklace around his throat.

We all spread out, asking everyone in the area if they'd seen someone that looked like me and Gertie. My ear slug bit me, so I switched ears. ET gave me a bottle of spray that made my ears all gunky and gross, to feed the thing.

I knew I'd probably regret it the moment I asked, but a question had been bugging me since the first moment I'd heard of Roy's 'relationship.' "Where's your third partner?" I asked. "I mean, if you really want your girlfriend back—"

Roy reddened, probably imagining something I didn't mean to imply. "Abreyas aren't Qulpari, kid. It only takes a wumloq and a yuxhauba to produce an egg, and frankly I have serious doubts that my human wumloq has the correct microbial content to make any sort of impact on her equipment. I mean, besides entertainment."

"Yeah, but what if something happens?"

"A yuxhauba looks like calamari. It'd pretty much defy everything I know about biology, and to tell the truth, I'm not sure I'd want to see what the baby would look like."

I shuddered, tried to get the visual out of my head.

Jamie popped out from under a rug display, looking guilty and suspicious, as if avoiding someone.

She glanced at me and laughed. "Nice outfit!"

I stared. She had found clothing of her own during her absence: A blue princess sleeved catsuit, decorated with feathers, beaded fringe and abstract embroidery. "Wow! Where did you get that?"

Jamie seemed pleased by my stunned reaction. "Those Abreya guys are really nice. One even let me mess around with his sewing machine." She pointed to a butterfly on her chest. "I did that one. It's super easy, like drawing on paper." She showed me a couple other ones, a heart, a happy face, Garfield's head, a bear...

"That's nothing, though. Check this out!" She held up a beautiful gold inlaid bracelet with glowing stones all over it.

I frowned at her. "And where did you get that?"

She grinned. "I was just wandering around in their fish market, and they had this jewelry display -nobody around anywhere! I couldn't believe my luck—"

Seconds later, her body whipped upside down in the air, a pair of stern faced Qulpari in gold 'bone' breastplates levitating her with glowing hands as a third alien trapped her in a balloon.

"Uh, Jamie? I think you probably shouldn't have taken that thing."

My girlfriend did a backflip inside the bubble, attempting to escape. "Really? No shit!"