"Shit!" Jamie cried. "Call Colzest! Tell him to send an army!"
Roy shook his head. "They wouldn't make it in time. They don't even know where we are!"
Tolmina let out a strangled cat sound, hiding behind the examination table.
"Tiger orange doesn't suit him," Roy quipped. "He should be yellow."
"He's just a kid," I argued.
"A fifty year old kid."
"Well..."
Roy gasped. "Ponai! Good Lord, Norenio! She's still out there!"
"And we're in here."
He swore under his breath.
Futambe and his friends had some special powers and used them pretty effectively...At first.
Out of seeming nowhere, four of Futambe's crewmates materialized, surrounding the rotting Qulpari with outstretched hands. The black ooze rose up like ocean waves, but remained standing like a wall instead of crashing down on them, in a way similar to Moses at the Red Sea.
Spike, Tiffrid and ET stepped forward, raising their long arms as well, adding to the...energy or whatever kept our enemy at bay.
Charlie also contributed, hovering and closing his eyes amongst them.
Xetgupa, however, possessed powers greater than these aliens. As they attempted to activate some machine, I presume to either trap or destroy him, the monster did his aerosol spraycan routine, causing Futambe and his four crewmates to collapse on the floor, appearing to be dead. Even Spike, Tiffrid and ET had been affected. They coughed and gasped for air, their skin rapidly turning white. Charlie flopped on the ground and lay still.
"No!" Gertie whimpered. "Charlie, ET..." Tears rolled down her face.
Roy also turned white, but for different reasons. With shaky hands, he thrust the musical Zemedo into Gertie's hands. "Here, kid. Play...The A Team."
Gertie froze, getting the kind of expression you'd have at a big piano recital or something, and you had a huge case of stage fright.
"Don't worry about messing up, " Jamie urged. "We actually want you to."
Gertie swallowed. "That's what I'm afraid of."
My girlfriend looked at her like she were crazy. "You're afraid of not making a mistake."
Gertie whimpered, offered the device to Jamie.
Jamie frowned. "No way. You're the one who can do stuff with that."
"Now who's afraid of not making a mistake?"
"Gertie, I don't know how to make lightning or hit notes."
My sister gave Roy a pleading look.
"She's right. You got the skills, sweetie. I hate to say it, but you're the only one who's qualified. If I knew how, I'd do it myself, but I don't know the first thing about playing one of those. Knowing my luck, it'd probably just blow up in my face."
None of us wanted Gertie to get too close to our enemy. Roy followed at her heels, drawing a tiny little knife from a sheath at his ankle, one that looked better suited for sawing a light steak than self defense. I just had my fists, but I kept by her side. I would have rather died than lose her again.
Pete, too, made a foolhardy showing of bravado, but he happened to be armed with a stick he found somewhere.
"I have no quarrel with the rest of you," Xetgupa gurgled. "Send Elliott and the Boofsuru close to me, and I will leave in peace."
Jamie backed away in horror. "Did that thing just talk?"
Although she'd probably seen Xetgupa do other things, I guess she hadn't witnessed that.
Roy shouted, "Over my dead body, pal!"
"I will also accept that arrangement." A black spear whipped toward Roy's head. He ducked, just barely avoiding getting gouged through like a cocktail olive.
`Succeeding at failure.' A phrase I'd never seriously contemplated as a good thing. But our foe wouldn't be stopped by a flawless rendition of Airwolf.
When Gertie played the first notes, I also feared her success - Xetgupa unharmed, possibly laughing or dancing a jig to the music...a distraction of this type would only be useful if we had a flamethrower hidden behind our backs.
Fortunately, though Gertie played the song better than before, she still fudged the notes halfway in. A bolt of lightning crackled out, shattering some ceiling panels and sending a rain of sparks down on Xetgupa's head.
The monster let out a gurgling laugh. "How nice! A serenade!"
She frantically picked notes and fluted again.
"Put that thing down, alien! You will hurt yourself!"
"What did it just say?" Jamie had removed her ear slug during our little march. Said it made her ears itchy. Unfortunately, none of us had time to answer.
Another lightning bolt blasted from Gertie's instrument, but still shot over the creature's head. A panel popped open, more sparks showered down, but nothing happened to Xetgupa.
Jamie glanced around nervously. "I'm...going to go look for weapons."
"Good plan," Roy hissed. "If you come up with nothing, stay there. No sense putting all you kids in danger."
She gave me a questioning look, but I just nodded, suggesting I might be fine, though I didn't feel it.
Jamie ran through a nearby open hatchway.
Gertie scowled at her instrument. "I think...It's the wrong pitch or something, but I don't know how to—"
Xetgupa's slime formed a pair of faceless winged bats that hovered threateningly in the air.
Tolmina crept off to the room Jamie had been hiding in. Clanking sounds ensued, probably from the two of them digging through tool drawers or something. I doubt they found anything useful, for neither came back out.
Xetgupa made conducting gestures. The bat things dove, spreading knife claws and fangs.
He shot a black spear at my sister, but she blocked it with her power somehow, then ducked a second one.
With haste, Gertie aimed the instrument and played the same notes. A bolt sizzled, bursting the two winged monsters like water balloons.
Pete clutched his stick tightly, but knew better than to try attacking. Roy made no move.
Tolmina rushed out of the room wearing a glove with a glowing crystal in its palm. He pointed the crystal at the black monster, but Xetgupa expected such an attack. A slime tentacle came flicking out, striking a button on a panel the same exact time Tolmina squeezed his gloved fingers together.
An arc of blue fire shot from the glove, but it bounced off an invisible wall, hitting Tolmina in the chest. The little alien went sailing across the room, head bashing into a bulkhead. The glove broke.
"Tolmina! " Jamie cried, running out to check on him. It didn't look like she'd found any weapons.
Tolmina sounded raspy, but didn't seem to be slowed by his injury.
He mumbled something to Jamie, urging her to take his hand. She protested at first, but then closed her eyes and they both glowed. Healing, I assumed.
Xetgupa chuckled at my sister. "I'm impressed by your skill, alien. A pity I must kill you now—"
ET's hand shot up with surprising quickness, and a heavy piece of recently loosened machinery came crashing down on Xetgupa's head.
It didn't kill our enemy, but bought us some time. Gertie aimed for the floor at Xetgupa's feet, mangling The A Team again. The bolt struck our foe in the chest and he caught fire.
Emboldened, Gertie dared to experiment with the Beatles' Back in the USSR. It didn't sound any better than The A Team, but had the desired effect. Well, a desired effect. The instrument produced a fireball somehow, causing Xetgupa, before only halfway aflame, to become one hundred percent engulfed.
"You think that will stop him?" She muttered to me.
I frowned. "I dunno."
"It didn't stop the Sta Puft Marshmallow Man," Pete remarked.
Meanwhile, Tolmina poked around an instrument panel.
"Leave it alone!" Roy barked. "You're better off where you are!"
The orange one backed away. Jamie paced impatiently behind the barrier, fists balled, watching us with worriment.
She slipped back into the other room, in search of other weapons, I guess. Tolmina followed her.
Pete glanced at Roy, who still clutched a tiny knife. "Can I see that for a minute?"
Despite his previous outburst, Roy appeared to be in shock. "S-sure." He absently passed the item to him.
A second later, he regained his sense. "Wait, what are—"
Pete took the knife by the tip, flinging it at Xetgupa's burning body. It stuck. "A little hobby of mine. Gertie, try playing the other song again. Maybe it'll act like a lightning rod."
My sister didn't seem to understand, but still gave it an honest attempt.
The notes came out wrong. The only result: Something like a Polaroid flash going off. "I'm sorry, I thought if I made the notes lower, I could make it strike lower—"
All of a sudden, a sort of mania seized her, fingers moving as if on their own accord, hitting all the notes. She blew on the reed portion, and Xetgupa exploded into flaming ash.
A second bolt shattered Xetgupa's halo, glowing pieces thunking into panels in the walls, floor and ceiling.
Jamie and Tolmina rushed out, staring in disbelief.
Jamie had a glowing blade in her hand, but dropped it when she saw that our enemy had been destroyed.
Spike, sick and dying on the floor, gave Gertie a faint smile and relaxed his outstretched arm. He'd been puppeting my sister on the instrument the whole time!
Pete, it seemed, hadn't noticed this, for he gawked at Gertie in admiration. "I...didn't know for sure when I first met you, but now I really think I love you."
She gave him a bashful smile.
Roy smirked at them, but only briefly. His alien friends looked to be in terrible shape. He knelt down next to Futambe, pressed his fingers to the creature's neck, then its wrist. "Where the hell is his pulse?" He muttered. "He could be alive for all I know!"
He pressed his head against the alien's chest. "No breathing. I'm pretty sure that's not a good sign...I think."
Pete, probably trying to impress Gertie, hurried over to Roy. "Pour some of that stuff down his throat!"
Roy gave him a skeptical look. "Kid, I may have described it as Pepto Bismol, but we don't actually know how the stuff works. I mean, you don't drink rubbing alcohol, do you?"
"Yeah, but Gertie pretty much drowned in the stuff!"
"We don't have enough of a supply to drown anything larger than a puppy right now. I was thinking maybe we just rub it on his skin...but it would help if we knew he wasn't dead before we did that."
"Cmon! Gertie was dead!"
"We don't know that for a fact. She may have just...I dunno, fainted." He cast a frustrated look at the body. "I ...guess we should just...Forget these guys, try to help Vorxora and your Qulpari nennop..."
But then a disbelieving look crossed his face, like 'No! That couldn't possibly work!'
Without a word, he marched to the little machine Futambe had been using to run tests on our slime sample, his expressions telegraphing 'This is crazy' and 'I shouldn't be doing this.' I stared as he punched a series of buttons on the machine, one hand on his chin, reminding me of someone who had just learned how to program a VCR.
To my absolute surprise, the machine cooperated, a compartment next to the console filling a container with pink stuff like a Mr. Coffee.
I saw no sign of how Roy had acquired this special knowledge. The saucer aliens looked dead, ET and Spike too busy feebly gasping for air. I kept gawking. "How?"
Instead of answering, he just furrowed his brow, taking the bottle to Futambe's unconscious body. "Okay...don't get the wrong idea, Futambe...we're just friends."
The alien's silver suit appeared to have no seams, buttons or zippers, but somehow Roy opened its front, applying liberal amounts of pink glop across the alien's pale bare chest. Roy also removed the alien's head.
Futambe had been wearing a helmet of sorts, concealing a shriveled face resembling a blind hairless cat.
"Yeah," Roy chuckled. "You're cute, but I'd really prefer if we didn't make out."
He pried the creature's mouth open, dumped in more than a full cup of slime, then watched the motionless body for a full minute before uttering a sigh of resignation. "Okay, Futambe. You had your chance."
Tolmina at last got the force field to deactivate, aiding Roy with the slime replicating machine. He checked a readout, nodded in approval. "The compound has been replicated successfully. I am impressed!"
"Me too!" Pete gasped, open mouthed. "Can somebody please explain to me what the hell is going on? Why is everybody a super genius all of a sudden?"
"Spike helped me play music," Gertie blurted.
Roy emptied the container of slime on ET's chest. "I think I got some kind of telepathic transference from sticking my face up against Futambe's body, kind of like the one that told me to go to Devil's Tower a few years ago." He spread the stuff around on ET's skin. My alien friend's hand and facial expression seemed to say thank you to the man, but he could only make croaking sounds. "It was like a blip-vert from Max Headroom. I didn't receive wisdom or all the secrets of the universe or anything, I just got this sort of...hunch about how to cure them...if it works."
"Spike only moved my fingers." Gertie sounded a tad disappointed.
"Yeah? Well my guys were indisposed." Roy refilled the container, poured a generous amount of pink stuff into ET's mouth.
Jamie frowned at the sprawled bodies. "Wow. Your friends don't look so good."
"You should see the other guy." Roy frowned at Futambe. "I don't get it. They told me those suits protect them in any environment and process impurities out of the air. "
"They practically got blasted in the face," Pete said. "Who knows what was in that stuff?"
Gertie marched up to the console, punching buttons.
"Hey! Don't touch that!" Roy cried. "I barely figured that out—"
Gertie had already taken a container of pink stuff out of the machine. "I'm really good at playing Simon."
Roy furrowed his brow. "Simon?"
"You know, the toy with the flashing lights? Anyway, I remembered how you did it." She knelt next to spike, smearing glop across the alien's breast.
Roy took another full container from Tolmina. "Kid, remind me to bring you along when I'm playing blackjack."
ET showed signs of recovery, slowly picking himself up off the floor. He coughed, vomited slime.
Being as he looked way older than ET, I didn't have much hope for Spike, but he sputtered and coughed the moment Gertie poured the liquid in his mouth.
The alien raised a protesting hand and sat up, sipping the stuff like tea. "This truly tastes terrible, but I believe it is necessary."
Pete medicated Charlie with some leftover gunk. The winged Qulpari didn't need much of the stuff at all, being as he'd flown back a few feet when Xetgupa began spraying.
Roy sadly regarded the motionless cat faced alien. "It's a shame it had to end this way. He was a nice guy."
Gertie, though, seemed more optimistic, for she refilled her container, opening the suit of one of Futambe's companions.
Roy sighed in frustration. "Gertie, don't—"
Pete glared at him, fists clenched.
The look on Roy's face said 'Not that again!' He shrugged, nonverbally telling Gertie to do what she wanted.
Roy humored her by treating another. They did this for everyone that needed treating, with the exception of the two stabbing victims, as we didn't think any medicine could fix that.
We tried to rouse Tiffrid too, but he didn't stir.
"Damn," Roy whispered. "Dead too. Norenio is going to be pissed!"
He sniffed, fighting back tears. He closed his nennop's sightlessly bulging toad eyes.
Pete grabbed a broken shard of Xetgupa's halo, currently stuck in a bulkhead, giving it a hard tug.
"Hey!" Roy scolded. "What, are you crazy? You want to turn into a rotten mushroom thing?"
Pete looked resentful.
"You might have been right about the goop, but it's probably not a good idea to mess with something that killed my friends and got yours one foot in the grave. But, hey, what do I know?"
Pete looked ashamed. "I was just going to use it as a knife."
"That's kind of like using Jack the Ripper's scalpel to open envelopes. You ever heard of James Dean's Little Bastard?"
The boy stared, perhaps not getting the references. "You're...saying...it's cursed?" I guess they read the same ghost story books.
"The thing came close to chopping my head off," I said. "So I say yes!"
Pete yanked the object out of the wall, stuffing it into his pocket. "The next time I see an active volcano, I'm throwing it in."
Spike seemed to have the same idea, freeing the other pieces from the compartment, placing them in a couple small carrying cases he found around the spaceship.
Roy's other alien friends did not awaken. Our efforts appeared to be too much a little too late.
"Should we bury them?" I couldn't tell if Roy posed this question to one of us or himself.
Gertie shook her head. "We should watch them. You thought I died last time."
We did wait, for awhile.
Roy shook his head.
I gave ET and his friends questioning looks, but they seemed to agree with Roy's assessment. They again sang the funerary song, I and Jamie chiming in on the chorus, but not the other parts because we hadn't been singing it for years like the aliens had.
Charlie stared at Futambe and his unbreathing companions, rubbed up against Tiffrid's supine form, whimpering a little.
"Norenio should be here..." Roy frowned. "Good Lord! Noey! I forgot all about her!" He rushed outside.
We hurriedly followed.
No sign of the Abreya or her giant avian pet anywhere.
Roy made a call on his communicator. "No-ey baby, where are you?"
He listened for a moment, jabbered something in the Abreya language, then Norenio came jogging into the clearing with scratches all over her face, outfit ripped, body fur torn out in several places.
Although within sight of Roy, she kept talking on the device for a moment before putting it up. "Vadful got away. The thing very frightening him so much. I do not know where he run fly to."
Roy let out a heavy sigh, eyes searching the massive coral plants for signs of the big bird.
ET and the other Qulpari looked around, but only shrugged or gave us apologetic looks.
"A big creature like that's got to leave a pretty good trail," Jamie suggested. "Are you sure we can't track it down?"
Roy glanced at his fiancee, jabbered something to her.
The Abreya only shook her head, muttering a disappointed sounding response.
"He flew away," Roy translated. "She thinks he found another Grunk. She saw him trying to shake the saddle off. It's probably torn up and strewn all over the place by now."
Gertie and Jamie marched out in different directions in search of the saddle. Charlie swooped out, searching by air, and though ET and Spike didn't seem confident about the search, they put more effort into looking around.
Roy crossed his arms. "Hey, forget it. We got enough to worry about...That Sinestro guy's still out there..."
"I will search for the Grunkiahu," Tolmina announced.
Roy frowned. "We're out in the middle of nowhere—"
"Guys—" Pete blurted, gesturing to the ship.
We cast him fearful looks, as if Xetgupa had somehow made a reappearance, but instead discovered that the hatch to the craft had closed, lights flashing warningly on its hull. The craft hummed into the air.
"What the—" Roy whirled around.
In a flash, the flying saucer disappeared, taking Gertie's litter, the compass, and a large quantity of our samples with it.
"Hey!" Jamie shouted. "Where did it go?"
"Probably recalled to the mothership." Roy rubbed his face. "All right...does anybody remember where we parked?"
My girlfriend rolled her eyes. "You mean the clearing where the pod came in? No."
"I know the way," Tolmina said. "And Vorxora has an excellent map."
"Okay. Good deal."
Fortunately for us, we still possessed three of the four fragments of Xetgupa's halo (one stubbornly refused to leave the wall), a couple containers of ooze, the musical instrument, half our camping supplies (the rest disappeared with the ship or the bird) and one communicator. Gertie still wore her bracelet, the stuffed raccoon and 'grooty' stuck in one of our bags.
Jamie furrowed her brow at the 'crop circles' the ship had left in its wake. "Great. Now what."
"We hoof it, of course. C'mon."
With the aid of Tolmina and the general outline on ET's computer map, we had little difficulty getting our bearings, especially now that we had no fears of Xetgupa attacking us. Sure, we kept a nervous eye out for Sovirox and his friend with the flying 'motorcycle', but with all Sovirox's talk of revenge on the ones who imprisoned him, we doubted we'd see much of them until we returned to 'town.'
We found some feathers here and there, but Norenio said they didn't match Vadful's shape and color, and we eventually found it wasn't even the right species - a sort of winged hippopotamus- warthog hybrid had been roaming about.
Roy described it as "Pork flabber," and that if we returned to earth, he'd have to make good on a few 'promises' he never thought he'd have to keep. "Of course it's technically not a pure pig."
We asked Colzest, but he hadn't seen the bird either.
Tolmina stopped along a dry river bank. "The map is clearly defined in this area. You should be able to find the landing site."
Roy frowned. "...And?"
"I wish to locate the missing Grunkiahu. I have a communicator in case anything happens."
The man gave an indifferent shrug. "You're a fifty year old semi-adult on your own planet. Considering how Zitgoopy is gone..."
Norenio muttered something to him. "Honey, he's not going to be out there forever. If you want him back, we can call him back. You want to find Vadful, right?"
She sighed, giving him a reluctant nod.
Gertie rushed up and gave Tolmina a hug. "Good luck. Be careful out there. May Ponai bless you."
Tolmina nodded, shouldering a bag of supplies. "Ponai and the plants will take care of me. I'll let you know if I find Vadful."
The orange guy waddled off.
"We rode a flying thing to get here," Pete grumbled as we climbed a hill. "Can't we just summon one to come meet us here?"
ET shook his head. "This is uncharted territory. Many dangers. The overseers will not allow vehicles this far. Many crash landings and disappearances have happened."
We kept going.
At first, we worried for my sister, thinking the hike would tire her out or cause her to relapse, but she took to the dirt paths cheerfully, even shouldering one of the packs, despite our protests about it being too much strain. "I need to stretch. I'm numb from sitting around so much." So, some good news, at least.
Charlie helped her from time to time with the baggage, lifting with his wings.
Upon hearing news of Tiffrid's death, Norenio wept. Roy put a comforting arm around her, apologizing and promising he'd try to locate his body later so they could have a "Properly Quaceb " memorial service for him.
He and his girlfriend jabbered in their shared tongue. They spoke rapidly, but unlike Jamie and the others, I seemed to have a permanent ear slug, so I could catch snippets of conversations, whether I wanted to or not: Replacement nennops, possibly getting Tolmina to fetch another relationship mentor from the place he'd gotten the last one. "Why can't we just use Tolmina?" Norenio argued. "He's so eager to help, and neither one of us finds him attractive enough to threaten our relationship."
"But honey, he's not trained."
"Tiffrid has mentored him. He has learned from his mistakes."
Roy responded with scoffing.
"We have Vukvuzan for Elliott and Jamie. Perhaps he can also serve as our nennop?"
Spike spoke for himself on that one. "And who will counsel Gertie and Peeete?"
Roy looked pleased by this refusal, silently gesturing `See?'
Norenio frowned. "Then we must have Tolmina."
"No."
The female took his hand. "Please, hot Grunkiahu. Give him a week. If it doesn't work, we get a new nennop. I will make it worth your while. Do sexy bedroom- things for you." I cringed as she described one to him.
"Please, No-ey!" Red faced, Roy, gestured at me. "Quit it. Young ears."
Norenio just giggled.
"Besides. I'm practically running a daycare center. I know your people have different ideas about nudity and so forth, but I personally don't like the idea of giving kids a free show."
Still, with more talk she must have convinced him, for next he said, "All right, fine. What's one week?"
Norenio called and notified the little orange Qulpari at once, and then the conversation went from the terms of the agreement (he wasn't to merely act as Norenio or Roy's puppet) to an in depth exploration of feelings.
Roy seemed to be take it more seriously than before, at least for the moment. I guess our harrowing adventures, and the trials us kids went through, did allow them to bond closer.
I borrowed the device for a moment. "Tolmina, if we were to find the ship, could we bring them back to life with a magic pool like you did for Charlie?"
The orange one frowned. "You do not understand. That does not work the same way on all species. A Qulpari can be reborn once in their lifetime, but an Abreya like Tiffrid isn't affected by the waters. If he dies, he dies."
"What about Roy's alien friends?"
"Asogi burial customs are unknown to outsiders. They are a very secretive race. I've heard rumors that their bodies vanish shortly after death. Others believe they metamorphose into Noibqiglu, a type of plant found abundantly here on Jufuceri."
"The spaceship is gone anyway," Jamie said. "Even if we could have gotten them to one of those in time."
Sighing, I gave the communicator back, and Roy bid Tolmina a temporary farewell.
Besides that, we had a quiet, somber hike. We'd lost some good friends, and now we felt it. Gertie looked hopeful, but I had to comfort Jamie, and Roy had to help Norenio cope.
It took us awhile, but we at last made it the place we'd first landed at, meeting up with Colzest. We caught him up on everything that happened, summoning a transport to take us to ET's place. The vehicle contained Utyolcu the guard and three strangers, Qulpari who had come to the coral forest to sightsee and make artwork.
Although the guard from the Qulpari breeder place seemed a little annoyed at our presence, the others found our travels interesting. We gave them our digital map (we figured they wouldn't find much of anything super dangerous with Xetgupa out of the picture) and asked them to help out Tolmina, and let us know if they found Vadful or spot Futambe's spaceship anywhere.
Everyone could actually fit in this vehicle. After Spike caught up with Utyolcu a little, we boarded and took off.
Although our flight took much less time than our long hike through the alien coral forest, it felt like forever before we at last docked at the old landing pad. We didn't talk, we just stared heavy lidded at each other and the unearthly scenery.
Norenio conked out on Roy's shoulder. Charlie flopped in Gertie's lap. Spike and ET looked exhausted.
The monotony and the weariness we all felt must have gotten to us kids, for Roy had to shake us awake when we reached our destination. He carried Gertie.
Despite her being unconscious state, the aliens in ET's neighborhood muttered things behind our backs, "Boofsuru," and so forth. We pretended to ignore it.
ET looked about as humiliated as when Gertie put him in a dress back on earth.
The sight of ET's dwelling comforted us. Not quite the same thing as going home, but we at least had the welcoming feeling you'd get from returning to a good hotel room.
Our hopes of pulling out pallets and getting a fruitful rest got dashed the moment we neared the front door.
Someone had violently thrown it off its hinges, and within, a forlorn looking non-Qulpari sat brooding atop an egg, with a warming pad identical to that used by ET's mate.
ET waddled in, eyes bugging out in shocked dismay. "Rilquza! What are you doing!"
The Abreya's shoulders lowered, head bowing dejectedly. "I am sorry, Vorxora. Warkinde has kidnapped your mate. Before she was taken, Pabyeba instructed me to brood until you returned."
"Warkinde?" Jamie asked. "Who the hell is that?"
I frowned. "I think he chased me with a flying motorcycle."
"Pabyeba!" ET wailed in anguish.