Total Drama World Tour Deluxe
Chapter 1: Walk Like An Egyptian Part 1
"Season three of Total Drama, folks!" Chris McLean greeted the audience, standing in the runway of an airport. "The world is gonna be mine, sea to shining sea! Sadly, I'm forced to share my world with a three-ring traveling teen freakshow!" Chris gestured to a rickety bus that had just arrived on the runway right next to him. Once it had parked, the engine sputtered and the door opened. "They'll be competing around the globe for another million dollars! So! Let's meet our players!"
One by one, the contestants filed off the bus, smiling for the camera and waving, or winking, or pointing coolly at it, or blowing kisses.
"Courtney!"
"Duncan!"
"Heather!"
"Gwen!"
"Leshawna!"
The first five contestants filed off. Heather stopped suddenly, causing Gwen to walk into her protruding ponytail.
"Argh!" she grumped. Heather smirked. "Are there reserved seats? Because I want one that's not behind Heather's pony-hair ponytail!"
"Um, my extensions are human hair!" Heather snapped.
"Ya learn somethin' new, every day!" Duncan quipped. Heather fumed. Gwen snickered and cast a smile at Duncan, who returned it. A look of worry crossed Courtney's face before she leered jealously at the goth and the punk.
Meanwhile, Chris continued the introductions.
"Lindsay!"
"Owen!"
"DJ!"
"Harold!
Lindsay got off the bus, blowing kisses to the audience, but Owen refused to leave the bus. He stood in the doorway, clogging up the exit.
"Hey! Ow! Hey!" Owen grunted as DJ attempted to shove him out of the way.
"Guys?" Chris inquired, unable to see the struggle. Eventually, DJ managed to wrap his arms around Owen's shoulders and carry him off the bus.
"Sweet strawberry preserves! No!" Owen screamed, terrified.
"He's afraid of flying, remember?" DJ explained sympathetically.
"Aerophobia! From the Latin!" Harold pointed out proudly. "As opposed to Aeronausiphobia, the fear of air-sickness!"
"Keep up all the fascinating factoids and I'm going to aero-nauseate all over you!" Noah threatened.
"And returning fan-favorites from Season one!" Chris announced.
"Noah!"
"Cody!"
"Ezekiel!"
"Yo, yo, yo!" the homeschooler cried. "This year's winner is in the house! Er, runway! So where's the plane, eh?"
"Plane?! What plane?! I hate planes! Get me outta here!" Izzy cried, running off the bus and crashing into Ezekiel. They tumbled to the ground.
"Ooh! Watch out!" Ezekiel grunted indignantly.
"I thought we were riding around the world on horses, sperm whales, and dragons! Did you guys forget that I'm also afraid of airplanes?!" Izzy yelled.
"Yup! Izzy's back!" Chris declared. "Also returning, this season…Tyler! And the former hosts of the Total Drama Aftermath, Geoff and Bridgette!"
Tyler stepped off the plane, dabbing. He tripped and fell onto Izzy and Ezekiel. Geoff and Bridgette were making out as they exited the bus and were thus added to the dogpile. This didn't stop them from making out, though.
"Continuing on, we have Trent!"
"Justin!"
"Katie and Sadie!"
"Beth!"
"And Eva!"
This group managed to maneuver their way around the pile of clumsy/reckless teenagers. Except for Eva, who just trampled them.
"Hiiiiiiiii!" greeted the Best Female Friends For Life (or BFFFLs for short) to the audience, walking off the plane holding hands. Sadie was back in her pink shorts, shoes, and hair ties. Katie had remained in her green variation she wore for the Gemmy award show.
"Hey, Beth! How's that million dollars treating you?" Heather called.
"Do you hear something, Lindsay?" Beth replied snottily.
"Nope!" said Lindsay.
"Must be Owen's butt, then." Beth joked, she and Lindsay snickered. Heather leered at them, offended and a little shocked.
"Hey, I fart when I'm nervous!" Owen cried.
"And now to mix things up and keep things fresh, we're adding two new competitors!" Chris announced. "He's an Honor-Roll student, the son of a Spanish diplomat, and has the ability to charm the pants off most species: Alejandro!"
Off of the bus stepped an eighteen-year-old Adonis. He was Hispanic, had green eyes and long brown hair. He wasn't as handsome as Justin, but he was close. His chest and arms were perfectly sculpted. He wore a red shirt, a cow skull necklace, and aviator sunglasses.
"Perhaps, I can assist?" Alejandro offered, helping Izzy and Bridgette to their feet. Both girls gasped upon laying their eyes on him.
"Wow-wee!" Izzy swooned.
"Whoa!" Bridgette swooned. "Uh, I-I-I have a boyfriend!" she shouted quickly and nervously.
"Bridge?" said Geoff, who seemed to be quite confused that Bridgette was not in his arms and sucking his face off.
"And amigos! Please! Allow me!" Alejandro offered helping hands to Tyler and Ezekiel. They accepted, albeit more awkwardly.
"Wow, eh?" said Ezekiel.
"I'm straight, dude!" said Tyler.
"Whoa! What a beautiful man!" Geoff complimented, getting to his feet on his own.
"Gracias, Geoffrey!" Alejandro thanked.
"So… you're gonna be flying with us?" Izzy asked.
"That I am!" Alejandro replied.
"So where's the plane? Let's fly!"
"And she's a sugar-addicted super-fan with sixteen Total Drama blogs: Sierra!" Chris announced. And off the bus hopped a tall, Hispanic girl with long plum-colored hair. She wore a yellow top, light blue jeans, and a green necklace.
"OH MY GOSH! I LOVE YOU GUYS!" she shouted. "AND THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE AND-!" Sierra began wheezing, she was so excited. "Anyone have a paper bag I can breathe into?!"
"Oh sure!" said Beth, walking over to her. Most of the other contestants were staring in amazement similar to how they had behaved when they first met Izzy, including Izzy herself. "Be sure to give it back, though! I get airsick!"
"Thanks!" said Sierra. After breathing in and out three times, she let out a squeal and ran over to Cody. "Oh my gosh! Cody! I've dreamt of this moment! Except you weren't wearing a shirt."
Before Cody could respond to that, an enormous black airplane came sputtering up the runway. Chef Hatchet could be seen in the cockpit, dressed like a pilot. The plane shook horribly, the brakes squeaking to a nearly deafening level. It stopped right next to Chris. Screws and bolts fell to the ground. Smoke issued from its turbines.
"What the hell?!" Duncan cried.
"Excuse me?" said Courtney. "I'd like to express some concerns about the safety of our plane…"
"Relax! It's perfectly safe!" said Chris. "Now boarding!"
"No way! I can't ride in that!" Owen cried. "Call the United Nations! Call a cab! Call my mom! No! I'm not doing this! I'm out! This is unethical!"
CLANG!
"Mommy…" Owen muttered weakly, falling to the ground and losing consciousness. Eva had taken a frying pan out of her bag and whacked Owen in the back of the head. The big guy now had a bump the size of an egg on his noggin.
"Thank you, Eva!" Chris thanked.
"Anyone else wanna spazz out?!" Eva growled, waving the pan at the other contestants, particularly Izzy. The contestants all burst into fearful declinations.
"Now boarding on a voyage to a million big ones!" Chris announced again. He turned to the camera. "We're saving you a first-class seat for all the action! Right here! On Total… Drama… World Tour!"
After the theme song, we cut to the contestants filing into the common area of the plane.
"Chris? Didn't you say something about this season being a musical?" Courtney asked. Gwen and Duncan froze.
"What?" said Chris. "Oh yeah! That was just a joke! No singing required!"
Gwen and Duncan sighed in relief.
"Oh come on! I would love to sing on TV!" Courtney protested. "Besides! Aren't singing reality shows super big right now?"
"Sure! But Chef and I were just brainstorming!"
"Trent, help me out here! You like singing too, right?"
"Yeah, but I don't like being forced to." Trent responded.
"Anywho!" Chris called, eager to get on with the show. The contestants all turned to Chris. "This is the dining area, where you will enjoy in-flight meals!"
The dining area was nothing special. A dark interior with two tables and no real chairs or benches. Instead, there were wooden crates, aluminum trash cans, and wooden stumps to act as seats.
"Not for long!" Ezekiel boasted. "Prepare to lose to da Zeke!"
"Okay, not that I'm trying to be mean or anything, but you remember you were the first boot of Season one, right?" Gwen reminded the homeschooler out of pity.
"Word." Ezekiel nodded. "And I spent every minute since making sure that don't happen again!"
"Hey, you're not the only one who's trying to redeem themselves of a poor run, homeschool!" Eva warned. She grabbed Ezekiel by his collar. "So I dare ya! Say guys are stronger than girls again!"
"I'll shut up, now!" Ezekiel cowed.
"Looks like you have learned from your mistakes!"
"We'll see who's learned from their mistakes!" Chris snapped, annoyed. "Now everyone pipe down so we can finish the tour and get this bird in the air!"
"Is there a ladies' room here?" Leshawna asked.
"Just through there!" said Chris, pointing over his shoulder and grinning cheekily.
"Good! 'Cause I gotta make a deposit!" Leshawna declared.
Confessional: Leshawna
(Walks into the restroom, prepares to unzip her pants, notices the camera) "There's a camera in the potty again?! Ugh! Can't a sister have a little privacy on this program?!"
End Confessional
During Leshawna's bathroom break, Chris moved the rest of the contestants farther back in the plane. This section was pretty bare. There were wooden benches with seatbelts on the walls, along with overhead compartments. These compartments were labeled alphabetically with the contestants' names, using strips of masking tape and permanent markers.
"The losing teams of each challenge will enjoy these luxurious Economy accommodations!" Chris announced.
"Losing teams? As in plural?" Beth asked.
"That's right! This season, there will be three teams instead of two!"
The contestants all looked around at each other, intrigued.
"Okay, but where are our beds?" Katie asked.
"Just look at Owen." Chris suggested. Owen, still unconscious, had been dragged onto the plane by Chef Hatchet and strapped to the wall via safety harness.
"That does not look comfortable!" Heather griped.
"Nope! No comfort for losers!" Chris teased. "There's an emergency exit over there but no comfort here, there, or anywhere!"
Sierra gave an exaggerated laugh.
"Oh-em-gee, Chris! I am just ell-oh-ell!" she gushed.
"We should hit the winners' compartment!" Ezekiel suggested. "'Cause I ain't never gonna sit back here! Ha! Never!"
"Is 'never' also your policy on mouthwash, homeschool?" Noah quipped, plugging his nose and waving away Ezekiel's breath. The contestants all chuckled as Ezekiel checked his breath.
Confessional: Eva
"Cocky little shit. He won't last two episodes."
End Confessional
Chris brought the contestants to the front of the plane and into a much more luxurious section. There was better lighting, a carpet, eight luxurious seats, a large television set, windows with curtains, and a bar. The contestants were in awe.
"This is the First Class cabin! The domain of each challenge's winners!"
"Gnarly!" Geoff commented.
"Wow! These seats are so comfy!" Beth exclaimed reclining in one of the seats.
"Now, this is the kind of accommodations ladies deserve!" Alejandro said to Lindsay.
"They get ladies in First Class too?!" Lindsay cried. "Oh! Me! You meant me!" she smiled and blushed.
DJ, Justin, and Tyler were watching. The Jamaican guy was impressed. The Hawaiian guy was suspicious. The Caucasian guy was jealous.
"That guy is as smooth as Mama's gravy!" DJ commented.
"Yeah, a little too smooth…" said Justin.
"Lindsay's supposed to like me!" Tyler whined.
"Nobody can compete with gravy!" DJ scoffed.
"Lindsay! I can do a handspring!" Tyler called. He tried to hop onto his hands but tripped over his shoelaces. He fell on his face and grunted.
"Fail!" called Duncan.
"Oh my gosh!" Lindsay winced sympathetically. "Poor… what's his name again? Oh right! Alejandro!"
"That's my name."
"And what a nice name it is! Alejandro! Alejandro! I could say it all day!" Lindsay gushed.
"Please do." said Alejandro, flattered. Lindsay giggled. At the back of the cabin, Heather leered viciously at the two.
Confessional: Heather
"I can see right through the new guy! He is so transparent, so fake, so disgusting, it makes me wonder how people are not barfing their guts out! Blegh!"
End Confessional
Meanwhile, Cody, Harold, Katie, Sadie, and Sierra had wandered into a cabin so luxurious, it put First Class to shame. There was a grand piano, a wood-burning pizza oven, and a four-person hot tub with LED lightshow and dancing waters.
"Whoa! Where are we now?!" Cody exclaimed.
"Sadie, look! A hot tub!" Katie gasped, pointing.
"Oh, I love-love-love hot tubs!" Sadie cried.
"Oh my gosh! Me too!" And without even stopping to think, the BFFFLs squealed and jumped into the tub.
SPLASH!
"What's going on in here?!" Chris shouted, just entering.
"How do I win this?" Harold asked. "My fair Leshawna loves a hot tub!"
"Easy, tiger!" Chris scolded. "These are my quarters! And they're off-limits! Clear?!"
"…Crystal." Harold replied, crestfallen.
"Good! Now you two! Get outta my tub!" Chris snapped at Katie and Sadie.
"Oh, Chris!" Sierra swooned. "I heart your limits!"
Confessional: Heather
"Anyway, with Beth being all high and mighty and Lindsay and Ale-whatever looking like a real threat, my only strategic option is to make friends with Katie, Sadie, and the new girl. But pretending to like those things will be ha-ard! I do not 'heart' the new girl! And I do not 'love-love-love' the buh-fuh-fuff-uls!"
End Confessional
After showing them the cargo hold and the galley, Chris gathered all the contestants in the dining area, save for Owen, who was still unconscious in Economy.
"And that's about it!" said Chris. "Enjoy your flight, everyone!"
Suddenly the plane started shaking. Bridgette lost her balance and fell into Alejandro's lap.
"Seniorita! You okay?" he asked.
"Is the Earth moving…?" Bridgette asked weakly.
"No! We are! Help!" Izzy cried. She looked as though she was about spazz out again. Eva took out her frying pan.
"Geoffrey, you take Bridgette!" Alejandro commanded. "Izzy, come sit with me!"
Alejandro handed Bridgette to Geoff, who attempted to resume making with her, but she seemed distracted. Izzy sat on Alejandro's lap as the plane started to ascend. She seemed to relax.
"Geez, Izzy! I didn't think you were afraid of anything!" said Noah.
"Of course she is!" Sierra scoffed. "Remember Season one, episode seven? Phobia Factor? In that episode, Izzy clearly states she has a fear of airplanes! Right after Owen proclaims his fear of flying! Hello? How can anyone forget that Izzy's afraid of flying but remember that Owen is?"
Eventually, they were in the air. All along the trip, the contestants alternated between Economy and the dining room.
"Every second, we're getting closer to adventure." DJ commented. "And further… from Mama."
"Take it easy there, brother." Leshawna said comfortingly. "Your mama will still be there when you come home. You've been away from her before."
"Yeah, but in the last two seasons, I was still within a hundred miles of her. That way, I could be home within a day in case of an emergency."
"Your mama will be fine! She's tough as nails! Hell, she even scares me a little!"
Meanwhile, Sierra attempted to socialize with Cody.
"Cody Emmet Jameson Andersen!" she greeted grandly.
"You know my full name?" said Cody, surprised.
"Mm-hm!" said Sierra proudly.
Confessional: Sierra
"I know everyone's full name! We have Ezekiel Jebediah Jacobs, Eva Gabriella Mourning, Noah Frederick Carter, Justin Amos Prince, Katherine Deborah Valley, Tyler Peter Jones, Isabelle Paris Monroe, Cody Emmet Jameson Andersen, Bethany Winnifred Scout, Sarah Crystal Fox, Courtney Emily Barlow, Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady, Trenton Scott Denver, Bridgette Annabelle Welker, Lindsay Hannah Tart, Devon Joseph Carpenter, Geoffrey Daniel Bloomer, Leshawna Muneerah Folfax, Duncan Anthony Dangerfield, Heather Delilah Wilson, Gwendolyn Belladonna Fahlenbock, and Owen Albert Patrick!"
End Confessional
"I also happen to know that your birthday is April first! You're my very own April Fool!" she said dreamily.
Meanwhile, Trent, Noah, Ezekiel, Eva, Katie, and Sadie had moved to Economy. Eva was pacing up and down, looking tense. Eventually, Trent managed to muster up the courage to speak to her.
"Is something wrong, Eva?" he asked.
"Just restless." Eva replied, not really looking at him. "I left my MP3 player at home this time. But without music, I can't really relax."
"I could play my guitar if that would help." Trent offered, half out of compassion and half out of the need and desire to keep Eva as calm as possible.
"Country music isn't really my thing..." Eva answered. "But sure. Better than nothing."
Trent nodded. He took out his guitar and began playing a few gentle melodies. Eva exhaled heavily, as though she had been holding her breath. Eventually, she sat down a few seats away from a still unconscious Owen.
"Nice tunes, homie!" Ezekiel complimented.
"Thanks." said Trent.
Trent played for a few minutes before those in the dining area began to file into Economy, attracted by the sound of his music. Once Gwen, Duncan, Courtney, Izzy, Alejandro, DJ, and Leshawna had filed in, Trent began singing a few songs including American Pie by Don McLean, TMZ by Weird Al Yankovic, and a few of his own. Eventually, Courtney joined Trent in singing Just Give Me A Reason by P!nk.
Confessional: Courtney
"So Chris isn't gonna make us sing. Big deal. That doesn't mean we can't sing. I'm lucky that there's someone on this plane that actually enjoys singing."
Confessional: Trent
"Last season, I kinda lost control of myself. This time, I'm keeping my eyes on the prize, and I'm not gonna let my love for Gwen distract me. From now on, Trent, is cool, calm, and composed." (Door knocks, Trent jumps.) "ARGH! STOP JUDGING ME!"
End Confessional
Gwen and Duncan watched Trent and Courtney from the entrance to the dining room, leaning against the wall next to the doorway and folding their arms. Gwen smiled but Duncan frowned.
Eva was so relaxed she was smiling. That is until Owen woke up.
"What? What's going on? Are we flying?! WE'RE FLYING! I HATE FLYING! STOP THE PLANE!" Owen screamed. Panicking, he struggled to undo his harness. "GET ME OUTTA HERE! GET ME OUTTA HERE! THEY'RE TRYNA KILL ME OR SOMETHING!"
Growling, Eva sat up and whipped out her frying pan with a murderous look. She marched towards Owen, whose panicking only skyrocketed.
"YAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!" he screamed.
"Whoa! Whoa! Easy there, She-Hulk!" Noah warned, popping up in front of her. To everyone's astonishment, Eva stopped. "Beating up Owen is a bad idea!"
Confessional: Noah
"My strategy for this season is to form an alliance with Owen, Izzy, and Eva. It'll be like Team E-scope, and with Owen as a new member, we should be able to dominate the game. But that means I have to keep Eva from seriously hurting Izzy or Owen. It'll be difficult, but worth it."
End Confessional
Noah quickly ran into the dining room and returned with a banana. He stuck the unpeeled fruit into Owen's mouth. He began sucking on it like a pacifier.
"Better, big guy?" Noah asked. Owen nodded, somewhat calmer.
The flight lasted eleven hours. The contestants had no idea where they were going first. During the last five hours, the contestants had all fallen asleep in Economy. Many were sitting on the benches, though only half of them were strapped in. There wasn't enough room in Economy for all twenty-four contestants to have a seat, so eight of them (DJ, Leshawna, Cody, Sierra, Katie, Sadie, Tyler, and Harold) slept on the floor, sprawled out across their luggage. Ezekiel had tried to sneak into First Class but was thwarted by a locked door.
"WAKE UP, FRUITCAKES!" roared Chef Hatchet over the intercom. "WE ARE NOW BEGINNING OUR DESCENT INTO EGYPT!"
After the commercial break, we cut to the outside of the plane. The contestants all had a brief breakfast, except for Izzy, who was quite eager to get off the plane and was thus the first one out. Owen was the second one out, unwilling to skip breakfast in spite of his aerophobia. While he was certainly calmer now that the plane was on the ground, he still hated being reminded that he was in the air.
Outside, the contestants were introduced to a hot desert with the Great Pyramid of Giza a short way away. Once everyone made it outside, they were approached by Chris, who had dressed up as an Egyptian pharaoh and was being carried in a shaded throne by two interns who looked like identical twins.
"You guys ready for a little fun?" he asked, taking a sip of limeade. "Wow! It's a scorcher out today!" He took another sip. "Anyway! I call today's challenge, Pyramid: Over-Under!"
Chris guided the contestants over to a starting line right in front of the pyramid. Harold was sweating.
"It's like we're being cooked in a giant oven!" he complained.
"It might help if you weren't dressed like a baked potato." Leshawna argued, pointing to an aluminum foil hat on Harold's head.
"I need it so that the aliens can't read my brain!" Harold explained. "It's a real problem in Egypt."
"You kinda sound like my neighbor." Ezekiel commented. "Except he talks about zombies instead of aliens."
CRASH!
"Man, that is really satisfying!" said Chris, clanging cymbals together. "Alright! Pyramid: Over-Under means that you choose how you'll get to the finish line! Either by climbing over the pyramid or crawling under it! Those who choose to go over must reach the very top before they can go down. Simple and direct, but exhausting. Those of you who choose to go under may conserve a bit of energy if you're not afraid of the dark. The first eight people to make it to the finish line will make up the first team. The next eight will be Team two. And the last eight losers will make up Team three! Got it?"
The contestants all nodded.
"Ready… Set… GO!"
CRASH!
Chris crashed his cymbals together again, and the contestants took off. Alejandro, Bridgette, Courtney, Duncan, Geoff, Gwen, Lindsay, Trent, and Tyler chose to go over while everyone else decided to go under.
Those who went under stayed together for a minute before they came to a three-way fork. The path on the left had a picture of a key above the doorway. The path on the right had a picture of a mummy. The center had a scarab.
The contestants all paused as soon as they hit this fork, all except for Ezekiel, who charged down the center path as though not noticing he had other options.
"Oh great. Our friendly-neighborhood host dude failed to mention there were different paths." Noah deadpanned.
"Sierra!" Heather called. "Which way do you think we should go?"
"Me?!" Sierra cried. "Um… uh… I… uh…"
"How do we know which way is right?" Owen asked.
"Oh! Oh! I saw this in a spy movie once!" said Izzy. "You lick your finger and hold it up to find the airflow!" Izzy did as she said. "Mm! The sand really crunches in your teeth! Fun! Okay, DJ! Gimme your hand!"
"Don't do it, DJ!" Leshawna warned. "You might catch a case of crazy! C'mon, Harold!"
Leshawna, Harold, DJ, and Justin ended up going down the center route with the scarab.
"Oh-oh-oh! Let's take the mummy door!" Izzy cried. She ran down the door on the right, followed by Owen, Noah, and Eva.
"Um, let's go left!" Sierra finally decided, after noticing Cody slip off down the same path.
"Excellent choice!" said Heather. "Katie, Sadie, you girls wanna come with us? There's safety in numbers!"
"Really?" Katie exclaimed.
"You want us to with you?" Sadie asked.
"Sure! You girls are so much fun!" said Heather.
"She doesn't mean it!" Beth warned.
"Nobody asked you, Miss I-Wannabe-Famous!" Heather sneered. "Let's just go!"
The five remaining girls trudged down the left path.
Meanwhile, on the outside, several nervous contestants were experiencing a bit of a delay in going over. Currently, Geoff, Tyler, Lindsay, and Bridgette were standing at the base looking up the many levels of the pyramid. Alejandro, Trent, and Gwen were the only ones who started their ascent.
"Is it too late to go under?" Tyler asked.
"Alejandro's doing okay." Lindsay pointed out. But this was an understatement. While Trent was making good time, Alejandro had made it twice as far as him up the pyramid, leaping up each level with no more difficulty than climbing a staircase. "He's like the cutest little mountain goat in the world!" she gushed.
Alejandro noticed that Bridgette and Lindsay were having cold feet and hopped back to the ground in five seconds.
"Wait! I can be a goat!" Tyler insisted. Lindsay ignored him.
"May I be of assistance?" Alejandro offered his hands to the girls. Lindsay and Bridgette happily accepted, and he lifted them onto his shoulders.
"Lindsay! I'm a goat! Ba-ah-ah-ah!" Tyler cried desperately.
"Bridge?" Geoff muttered, confused. "Wait for me, babe!"
Meanwhile, Duncan and Courtney had also delayed, due to the latter wanting to tie the two together for safety reasons. She had taken a long rope out of the plane and was currently tying her boyfriend around the waist. Duncan looked as though he was being tortured.
"Rock-climbing was a team-building challenge when I was a CIT." Courtney explained. "And if Tiffany Pryzlbewski hadn't been such a lousy partner, I would've won!"
"I always said Tiffany was overrated…" said Duncan sarcastically.
"Mock all you like, Duncan!" Courtney sneered. "But my superior belay skills are going to ensure our victory!"
"Hey, Gwen!" Duncan called. "You goin' over, too?!"
Gwen was currently up five levels and was struggling to make up to the sixth.
"Working on it, Duncan!" she called back.
"I think Gwen could use a hand." Duncan suggested.
"Fine." Courtney groaned. "But only because a three-person belay is stronger!"
Meanwhile, back in the pyramid…
"Okay, timeout!" Noah cried, causing Izzy, Eva, and Owen to halt. "I think it's the perfect time to form an alliance!"
"Seriously?" Eva asked.
"Yes, Eva, seriously. With my brains, your brawn, Owen's popularity, and Izzy's… unique set of skills, I think we can form the strongest alliance this show's seen yet."
"Sounds good to me!" said Izzy. "We can be Team E-scope all over again! With Big O on our team this time!"
"I guess…" Eva conceded.
"Woohoo!" Owen cheered. "An alliance! And new best friends! Awesome! Come here, Noah!" The big guy ran to the smaller guy and gave him a bone-crushing hug.
"Argh! Thank you, Owen!" Noah wheezed. Owen let go of Noah and turned to Eva.
"Come here, Eva!" he cried holding out his arms for another hug.
"Touch me and die!" Eva threatened. Owen retreated.
Confessional: Eva
"I never liked Owen. Then again, I only liked like two people from this show. But I need fr- fr- allies if I'm going to get through this competition."
End Confessional
"Hey, look!" Izzy cried, pointing to a pile of bandages. "We're in the nurse's office!"
"It's a pyramid, not a high school!" Noah deadpanned. Izzy ignored him and ran to the pile.
"Costume party!" she declared, tossing an armful of bandages to her allies. "Mummy me!"
Owen and Noah looked at each other quizzically. Eva stomped over to Izzy and wrapped her in bandages. When she was done, Izzy couldn't move her arms or legs.
"Hey!" Izzy protested as Eva flung her over her shoulder.
"I don't wanna have to keep an eye on you, Psycho Hose Beast!" Eva growled. "Let's get going! I don't wanna come in last!"
"It doesn't matter!" said Noah. "We just have to make sure we're on the same team! Chris didn't say there was a penalty for being among the last-placers!"
Meanwhile, Heather, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, and Beth were beginning to regret their chosen path. It seemed to zigzag around the entire pyramid. An awkward silence permeated the group as Heather and Beth leered at each other, making the other three girls uncomfortable.
Sierra stepped on a pressure plate, causing the wall to open up. Heather gasped and tackled Sierra to the ground as several spears shot out of the wall, barely missing the two. Katie and Sadie gasped.
"Whoops! Sorry, Heather!" Sierra apologized. Heather was sorely tempted to go off on her about almost getting her killed, which would have been totally justified.
"Honest mistake!" she chirped instead. "Coulda happened to anyone!"
Sierra smiled, relieved. Katie and Sadie were stunned.
"Wow! Heather's changed!" Sadie commented.
"You guys aren't buying this, are you?" Beth asked.
"Buying what?" Katie asked. "Heather almost died! If someone almost killed me, I would have given her a piece of my mind!"
"Yeah, Heather would have yelled at Sierra if she was still as nasty as she was when we first met her!" Sadie chimed in.
Meanwhile…
Duncan was beginning to regret inviting Gwen to climb with him and Courtney. The two girls had started bickering every step of the way instead of concentrating on getting to the top.
"And your form is appalling!" Courtney criticized.
"Gee, thanks, Courtney! I was just wondering about that!" Gwen grunted sarcastically.
"You know, you're only here because I'm feeling nice today!" Courtney warned.
"Wow! This is you being nice?! My sympathies!"
"Why are you even going over?! I thought goths hated the sun!"
"I am claustrophobic!"
"Oh, that's right! An irrational fear confined spaces!"
"At least I'm not afraid of green gelatin!"
"Snot! It's snot I'm afraid of! And anything resembling snot!"
"Then you should be afraid of yourself, ya big goober!"
"Are you hearing this, Duncan?!" Courtney cried indignantly. "You're not gonna let her get away with that, are you?"
Duncan groaned in dismay.
Meanwhile, Harold, Leshawna, DJ, and Justin were making good time down their chosen path. They stopped when DJ noticed a couple of mummified animals resting in alcove including a cat, a dog, a penguin, a koala, and an octopus.
"That's a real dog!" DJ exclaimed. "Poor little guy!"
"DJ!" Leshawna cried, out of breath. "We do not have time to cry over a dog that died before North America was discovered!"
"Hey, little buddy! Wish I had a biscuit to give ya!" DJ reached out to pet the dog but Justin grabbed his wrist at the last second.
"No touchy, man!" he scolded. "Disturbing the dead in Egypt always results in a curse!"
"Whoa! Really?!" DJ gasped.
"Trust me, dude! I'm from Hawaii! I know curses!"
"Whew! Thanks for the save, man!"
Meanwhile, Trent had made it to the top of the pyramid at the same time Alejandro, Lindsay and Bridgette had. Geoff and Tyler weren't far behind.
"It's too steep to carry you two down!" said Alejandro.
"There must be an easier way…" said Bridgette. She looked around and noticed a traffic sign. This one had an arrow pointing to the top of the pyramid indicating that they were there, as if it wasn't completely unnecessary. "I know! We can surf down!"
As Bridgette yanked the sign out of the floor, DJ, Leshawna, Harold, and Justin came running out of the pyramid and crossed the finish line.
"Good work, guys!" Chris complimented.
"We're first?" DJ panted. "We're first!"
"Go stand behind the number one!" Chris commanded.
"In Egyptian, it's 'Wiciyat!'" Harold corrected. Chris stared at him.
"Yo, yo!" Ezekiel greeted smugly, having arrived long before these four. "What took ya knobs so longs?"
"What the hell?" Leshawna exclaimed. "How'd you get here so fast?!"
"Hey, it ain't my fault you guys were draggin' your feets!" Ezekiel bragged.
Meanwhile, back with Team E-scope, Izzy was still helpless and bound by Eva.
"Do you guys think I'd be good as Frankenstein's bride?" Izzy asked.
"Shut up." said Eva.
"Poor Izz." Owen commented.
"Dude, it's for her own good!" said Noah.
"Whoa! Whoa! Eva, stop!" Izzy cried. "I smell something lucky!"
"Uh, I think that's me, Izzy!" Owen admitted, farting silently. "Yeah… airline food."
Meanwhile, Bridgette was surfing down the pyramid on the street sign she had pulled out. Lindsay, Trent, Geoff, and Alejandro rode with her. Tyler was also on the board at first but fell off and began tumbling painfully down the pyramid.
Those that kept their balance arrived at the finish line, feeling exhilarated. They all let out a cheer.
"Killer ride, Bridgette!" Trent complimented.
"Ladies! After you!" Alejandro offered. Lindsay and Bridgette crossed the finish line.
"That's seven!" Chris announced. "Only room for one more on the first team!"
Alejandro moved to cross, but was held back by Geoff.
"Whoa! Whoa! No-no, dude!" Geoff said jealously. He crossed the finish line and became the final member of the first team.
"And Geoff rounds out Team one! Alejandro, Trent, you're the first two members of Team two!"
"In Egyptian, it's 'Atenain!'" said Harold.
Trent and Alejandro looked at each other, shrugged, and walked over to the number two, looking disappointed.
"If it's any consolation…" said Chris. "You do get…"
Tyler finished his rather painful-looking tumble down the pyramid.
"Uh, Tyler is it?" Alejandro asked as the clumsy jock limped over to the finish line.
"At least someone remembers…" Tyler muttered.
"And you also get…" said Chris, pointing to Owen, Noah, Eva, and an unbound Izzy running out of the pyramid and towards the finish line. "Congratulations!"
"Cool." said Trent.
"That's… wonderful!" said Alejandro, smiling.
Confessional: Alejandro
"Worst team ever! I get Tyler, the world's clumsiest excuse of a jock, Noah, the laziest and most disrespectful twerp ever, Izzy, who belongs in an insane asylum, and Owen, the single most disgusting human being on the face of the Earth!"
End Confessional
The next group of contestants ended up leaving the pyramid shortly afterwards. It was Sierra, who was carrying Cody, followed by Heather, Katie, and Sadie.
"Oh, I'm so happy we found you!" Sierra gushed to Cody. "Heather, aren't you so happy?"
"I'm so happy I could just barf!" Heather replied. The five crossed the finish line.
"We did it!" Sierra cried.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" squealed Katie and Sadie.
"Group hug!" Sierra declared. She, Katie, and Sadie crowded around Cody, wrapping arms around each other. "Come on, Heather, you too!"
Heather rolled her eyes. She then put on a forced smile and reluctantly joined the hug.
"…Aaaaaaand hug's over!" Chris declared, much to Cody's relief. "Sierra, go join Team two. Cody, Heather, Katie, Sadie, you'll be on Team three!"
"In Egyptian-"
"Nobody cares, Harold!"
Sierra waved goodbye to Heather and Cody and went over to Alejandro, who gave a welcoming smile much more sincere than he had with any other members of his team.
"Where's Gwen?" Cody asked, not seeing her anywhere on the first two teams.
Gwen was at the top of the pyramid, still tied to Courtney and Duncan.
"I'm telling you! We need to untie!" Gwen yelled at Courtney.
"And I'm telling you it's unsafe!" Courtney yelled back. "I'm in charge, so I- yah!"
Duncan, fed up with the endless arguing between his girlfriend and just friend, began jumping down the mountain, dragging Gwen and Courtney behind him painfully. As soon as they hit the ground, Duncan took out his pocket knife and sliced the rope connecting him to the girls.
"Duncan! What was that?!" Courtney yelled.
"That was three hours of you two and your non-stop squawking on this stupid pyramid in this stupid heat! Seriously! I am this close to quitting!" Duncan ranted. Courtney and Gwen flinched.
"Alright! Duncan, Gwen, Courtney, go join Team-!"
"Teleta!" Harold interrupted.
Courtney got up and followed Duncan over to the number three. Meanwhile, Cody went over to Gwen and offered a hand to her.
"Hi! Looks like we're teammates again!" he greeted.
Confessional: Cody
"Girls on the rebound are the best! They cry, and then you get to buy them a pop and listen and… Well, they still won't go out with you, but you get to buy them a pop!"
End Confessional
Team one had Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, DJ, Justin, Lindsay, Bridgette, and Geoff.
Team two had Alejandro, Trent, Tyler, Noah, Owen, Eva, Izzy, and Sierra.
Team three had Cody, Heather, Katie, Sadie, Duncan, Gwen, and Courtney.
"Are we missing someone?" Chris asked, after doing a headcount. The contestants looked around to see who was missing. Heather tried to hide a guilty expression.
A few minutes later, Beth lumbered out of the pyramid covered in mummy bandages and wobbling like she had consumed a gallon of alcohol.
"Aw, nice of you to show up, Beth!" said Chris. "Go join Heather's team!"
"Aw, man!" Beth griped.
"The feeling is mutual." said Heather, spitefully.
"Alright, teams!" Chris called. "Now that you're all sorted, talk amongst yourselves and determine a team name! You have three minutes, while I enjoy this ice cream cone!" Chris whipped out a strawberry ice cream cone as the contestants dove into discussion on what their teams should be called.
"Team Victory!" Ezekiel suggested. "Since we're always gonna win!"
"That's a bit arrogant, don't ya think?" Bridgette asked.
"What does that mean?" Ezekiel asked.
"Well, we all did finish the challenge first…" said DJ.
"True that!" Leshawna concurred.
"I think it's a radical name!" said Geoff. "It'll help us keep our morale up! It's not arrogance, it's confidence!"
"We should go with the Egyptian version!" Harold suggested.
"Why? We're only going to be in Egypt for a little while longer." Leshawna pointed out.
Meanwhile, with Team two…
"Got it! Team Chris is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot!" Sierra suggested right off the bat.
"What?!" cried all the males on the team. Eva marched over to Sierra and yanked her up to her face by her hair.
"Say that again, and I will tie your hair into a noose and hang you with it!" she threatened.
"Yes, ma'am!" Sierra gulped. Eva let her go.
"Eva, calm down!" said Alejandro, putting a hand on Eva's shoulder. "Sierra is just giving a suggestion!"
Eva's angry gaze softened upon looking at Alejandro.
"Sorry." she murmured.
"You're forgiven. Any other ideas?"
"Ooh! Ooh! Team Kaleidoscope!" Izzy shouted.
"Team Chicken Wing!" said Owen.
"No." said Alejandro.
"Team Number One!" Tyler suggested.
"Boring!" Izzy laughed.
"Noah, Trent, do you have any ideas?" Alejandro asked.
"Team Shakespeare?" said Noah, half-heartedly.
"Team Nirvana?" said Trent shrugging.
"What about you, Eva?" Alejandro asked.
"What?" said Eva. She had been distracted looking at Alejandro. Her eyes moved down to his chest and cow skull necklace. "Um… What about Team Minotaur?"
"Minotaur…" Alejandro muttered thoughtfully. "The Greek mythological monster being half man, half bull... Yes, I think that will do just fine!"
"Woohoo! Minotaurs!" Owen cheered. "Love it! So manly!"
"Sure." said Noah, half-heartedly.
"Works for me!" said Trent.
Meanwhile, with Team three…
"Team Bloodlust!" Duncan suggested. Given that most of his teammates were female, this name did go over so well. Apart from Gwen, everyone stared at him as though he suggested the name, Team Pedophile. "Team Hellfire?"
"Ugh. Boys." Heather scoffed.
"I got it! Since we're mostly girls, we should be Team Princess!" said Katie.
"Oh, I love it!" Sadie exclaimed.
"You do?! Oh my gosh! Me too!" Katie exclaimed, astonished.
"Me three!" said Beth.
"That's better but still inappropriate." said Courtney. "The term 'princess' has a negative connotation, implying that we're helpless or spoiled."
"So how is that inappropriate?" Duncan muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.
"What was that, Duncan?" Courtney asked.
"Nothing!" Duncan replied fearfully.
"How about Team Amazon?" Gwen suggested. "That's strong and feminine, don't you guys think?"
The girls looked around and muttered in agreement.
"Uh, Cody and I object! That name doesn't represent the entire team!" Duncan yelled.
"Hey, if Gwen came up with it, I'm all for it!" said Cody. Duncan leered at him, feeling betrayed.
"You simp!" he spat. Cody ignored him.
"Alright! I'm done!" Chris called. "Let's hear your team names! Team one?"
"TEAM VICTORY!" shouted Bridgette, DJ, Ezekiel, Geoff, Harold, Justin, Leshawna, and Lindsay. A picture of a golden trophy flashed across the screen.
"Cool! Team two?"
"TEAM MINOTAUR!" shouted Alejandro, Eva, Izzy, Owen, Noah, Sierra, Trent, and Tyler. A picture of a blue bull's head with menacing eyes flashed across the screen.
"Excellent! And Team three?"
"TEAM AMAZON!" shouted Beth, Cody, Courtney, Gwen, Heather, Katie, and Sadie. A picture of a pink female gender symbol flashed across the screen.
"I did not agree to that name!" Duncan called to the other teams.
"Alright! Great names!" Chris cried, flashing a thumbs-up. "And here are your rewards! Team Amazon, you get a camel!"
An intern came up, guiding a dromedary camel over to the members of Team Amazon, who stood dumbfounded.
"And Team Minotaur, you win a goat!" Chris announced. Another intern brought a white goat over to Team Minotaur. The same intern walked over to Team Victory and handed a four-foot branch to Leshawna.
"And Team Victory gets a stick! Congratulations!" said Chris.
"So the guys who came in last get a camel, while we get a stick?" Leshawna complained.
"All will be made clear!" said Chris. He turned to the camera. "Next Time! Right here! On Total… Drama… World Tour!"
Author's note: And here we have the first chapter of Total Drama World Tour Deluxe! I admit, when I asked for opinions on what to write next, this wasn't the most popular choice. Many wanted Total Drama Action Recast, but I don't think I'll ever get to that, as TDA is by far the most boring season of them all and having to write it so that it would be interesting to me, seemed like too much work and too little fun. I was originally going to work on my TDAS rewrite, but I decided I needed a break from the Pahkitew Island cast. I initially settled on The Ridonculous Race Reordered (Yes, Reordered. Not Recast. That was a typo). But with the discontinuation of several TDWT fics I was really invested in, including Total Drama What If? World Tour by Shrimpimp and TDWT Rewrite by Uncle Grimsley, I changed my mind and switched to World Tour Deluxe. Sorry to those of you who really wanted something else!
As for the story itself, plenty of changes have been made. The first is the one I advertised this story for, mainly the fact that Trent, Eva, Beth, Geoff, Katie, Sadie, and Justin were allowed to compete this time. I thought it very unfair that they all lost their chances of winning a million dollars for going to look for help. Now to address the elephant in the room… No singing! Why? Because, quite frankly, I didn't care for the musical gimmick of the season. It was largely incongruent with the story and none of the songs were worth listening to a second time, with the possible exception of This Is How We Will End It. Besides, this is literature, rendering it even more unnecessary. Sorry! Another major change is the naming of Alejandro's team. Team Chris Is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot was funny at first, but I felt that they deserved to have an actual identity. A few other changes include axing DJ's animal curse arc (Because who actually liked that?) and remembering Izzy's fear of flying, which was weirdly forgotten in canon.
One last thing. Owen and Beth are the winners of the first two seasons in this universe. Make no mistake, I STRONGLY prefer Gwen and Duncan's endings. However, I feel as though them being winners would weaken their desire to compete again, and I want them both around. Besides, since the winners usually end up losing their fortune before they can spend it, this felt like a mercy to them. And I think I can do more with them as runner-ups instead.
And that's about it! I'll have the second chapter up next Saturday! Thank you for reading and please review!