Total Drama World Tour Deluxe
Chapter 9: Can't Help Falling In Louvre
Review Responses
LaCuevademisgustos: We'll see. The Minotaurs have been quite fortunate so far.
Cody Fanatic: Indeed, Cody is not having an easy time.
AnonBrowser: Yeah, I wanted Ezekiel to get something right. Originally I had the homeschooler losing his pants and being a liability in this chapter, but I figured that was too cruel.
MDReborn: A Sierra fan, eh? We'll see.
SilentSinger948: Yes, they deserved a break, didn't they?
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thank you.
Guest A: I take it you think he's guilty then?
Crosshot: Yup, the dude likes drama. Makes the ratings, which makes him money.
Guest B: 1. It's not really that long in my opinion. 2. Maybe, maybe not. 3. Who knows? 4. Thanks! 5. I think they're close enough. 6. Thank you!
lordgemini: Thank you!
SuperSonicHeroes: Yup, I thought I'd mix things up a little. The rules here are exactly as I interpreted them to be in canon. Sometimes, Chris doesn't think his challenges out very well. The Minotaurs are indeed an impressive team. And yes, Sierra may not be the wisest contestant, but let's not underestimate her.
zafnak: We'll see for certain.
amit avrashmi: You're right, I probably should have specified Eva's reaction to her new teeth. I do not plan to have any extra challenges for the season. That is an interesting excuse for Cody to give to Sierra in order to appease her.
AJustice90: I shall.
WeirdAlfan101: Yes, I agree. They try to give Sierra some redeeming qualities, but given how her actions are never really portrayed as in the wrong, it throws me off as well.
Rockin' D-99: Yeah, I may not be Owen's biggest fan but I do acknowledge that he has some redeeming qualities (which prevent me from outright hating him). I also see you liked the Pokemon references, that's cool. As for Gwen, I didn't like this episode because of how OOC Gwen was by stupidly jinxing the team, nor did I like Sierra and Heather dogpiling on her for it.
"Last time on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris narrated. "The players passed through every pitfall Peru could put forth! They visited some ancient landmarks and hung out with the locals! Someone's feelings were hurt… and something really weird happened: Team Victory had a victory! And Team Amazon lost the Amazon challenge! And they lost Sadie! Eighteen contestants! One million dollars! Loads more exotic locales to destroy! Right here! On Total… Drama… World Tour!"
After the theme song, we cut to First Class, where Team Victory resided. DJ and Justin were enjoying bacon and eggs for breakfast. At least, they were trying to. Ever since they had gotten into the coveted winner's compartment, Ezekiel could not stop gloating and celebrating.
"We kicked their butt-ocks! We kicked their butt-ocks!" he chanted, doing a victory dance by the table. DJ and Justin groaned. They had tried to get him to knock it off but to no avail.
"You'd think he'd never won so much as a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors." Justin complained.
"Not true, homies! I won a national spelling bee once! Got five hundred buckaroos from that!" the homeschooler bragged.
"Imagine that…" DJ groaned.
"Here, guys." said Lindsay. She walked over to the breakfast table and gave Justin and DJ two small make-up sponges.
"What are these?" DJ asked.
"These sponges make excellent ear plugs!" Lindsay explained, pointing to her ears, which had similar sponges plugging them up. The two guys shrugged before plugging their ears with them. It didn't completely mute Ezekiel's gloating but it was a start. The boys both flashed appreciative smiles at the formerly dumb blonde.
Meanwhile, in Economy, the two losing teams were staring tensely at one another. Cody had elected to sit with Team Minotaur. Eva was asleep on the floor. Izzy was nowhere to be seen. Heather had changed back into her burgundy crop top and beige shorts, while Alejandro still had his eye patch on.
"Hey, Tyler." said Cody. "Didn't Lindsay invite you up to First Class?"
"Yeah…" said Tyler.
"So how come you're back here? Did you get kicked out?"
"What? No! I kicked myself out!"
"I thought you'd love being in First Class with her."
"Well, yeah! Normally… But Zeke's just being a complete butthead! He's all like 'We win! You lose! We win! You lose!' His bragging is totally ruining the experience! And his gross obnoxious voice is not helping!"
"Yeah, Zeke's voice is really annoying, isn't it?" Cody concurred.
"It's a catch-twenty-two. If I'm up there I get annoyed by Zeke! If I'm back here, I miss Lindsay! It sucks!"
"Yeah, I know exactly how ya feel." said Owen. The guys all looked at Owen in surprise, save for Noah.
"Waddaya mean?" Tyler asked.
"Well, when I'm away from Izzy for a while, I feel really… uh…"
"Happy? Safe? Relaxed?" Noah guessed.
"Well…" said Owen, squirming.
"Because your girlfriend is a complete nutjob? An unpredictable troublemaker? A hyperactive womanchild that needs constant supervision?"
"Hey, where is Izzy, anyway?" said Owen, changing the subject.
"She went to use the restroom." said Duncan.
Alejandro turned to Trent.
"You know what's going on with Owen and Izzy?" he asked.
"Eh, looks like Owen's having some relationship bumps."
"Izzy seems to be a lot for him to handle…"
"Everyone's got issues, but I don't doubt that Owen would be upset if they were to break up."
"Well put, Trent." said Alejandro, smiling.
Confessional: Alejandro
"Owen still has to pay for giving me a black eye. I would have left him behind in the Amazon, but Chris wouldn't let me do that. Presumably, since Owen is apparently a 'fan-favorite' but I'll get rid of him eventually! In the meantime, I'm going to steal his girlfriend."
End Confessional
"Your team having some girl trouble, Alejandro?" Heather teased.
"Your attempts to insult my team are… cute, Heather!" Alejandro retorted.
"Whatever! My girl power team is going to win! We don't get distracted by anything! Especially boys!"
"Yeah!" said Katie.
Duncan snorted. Trent rolled his eyes. Alejandro smirked and pointed to Sierra. The fangirl was sitting in the corner, wailing nonstop, and shoveling ice cream into her mouth with her bare hands.
"Get it together, Sierra!" Heather growled, stomping over to her. Sierra ignored her and continued weeping.
"Snap out of it!" Heather demanded. Sierra's wailing just got louder. Frustrated and embarrassed, Heather dragged Sierra into the cargo hold by her hair.
Confessional: Cody
"Look, I didn't mean to leave her behind! I'm not a monster! I just miscounted! Katie and Sierra look very similar! A-and I had just woken up! It was an honest mistake! But nobody on my team will listen to me!"
Confessional: Katie
"I am so proud of myself! When I was separated from Sadie in Season One, I cried all night. Last night, I got it down to three hours!"
End Confessional
"Good evening, contestants!" said Chris over the intercom. "We're about to land in the city of love itself: Paris!"
"Hey that's my middle name!" cried Izzy.
"Paris?!" Lindsay cried, looking scared. "Oh no!"
"What's the matter?" DJ asked.
"Uh…. Nothing! Just gotta… I'll be right back!" Lindsay ran into the bathroom.
Ten minutes later, the plane landed at the Eiffel Tower. The males of Team Victory were the first ones off the plane. As the contestants filed off the plane, Ezekiel proceeded to mock them.
"Hey, hey, hey! How's loser class?" he taunted. Justin covered his face and DJ smiled apologetically. "You fools better get used to it! 'Cause I ain't never sitting back there again!"
"Why do I believe you?" Gwen muttered.
"Hey, where's Lindsay?" Tyler asked.
"I think she's still in the bathroom." said DJ.
"Welcome to Paris!" Chris greeted in spite of Lindsay's absence. "The city of love! Home to the Moulin Rouge! The Eiffel Tower! And the Loo-vray!"
"Um, I think you mean, the Louvre." Courtney corrected.
"Yeah, sure, Courtney." said Chris sarcastically. "Anyway, the Loave is where your challenge takes place! It's the most famous art museum in the world and home to many priceless pieces of art! Everyone onto the bus!"
A bus appeared, ready to take them to the Louvre. Chris counted the contestants as they boarded.
"Are we missing someone?" Chris asked.
"Yeah, Lindsay!" said Tyler, sounding concerned.
"What could that bimbo be up to?" Chris muttered. Suddenly, a brunette woman in sunglasses, a beret, red turtleneck sweater, and dark gray jeans appeared and attempted to board the bus. "Hey, sorry, sweetheart! But this bus is reserved for Total Drama contestants only!"
"Chris, it's me! Lindsay!" said the woman. The contestants popped their eyes. She took off her glasses to reveal the gorgeous blue eyes that could only belong to one person.
"Lindsay!" said Chris. "You look… different!"
Lindsay sat down next to Tyler, who was gawking at her as though she had sprouted antlers.
"Hi, Tyler!" she greeted. Tyler just stared. "What are you staring at? It's just a disguise!"
"You dyed your hair!" the jock blurted out.
"Yeah, I needed to. I've been to Paris before with Beth. And then I accidentally smudged a painting and spent months in prison!"
"Lame. So you've been banned from the Loover?"
"The Louvre? I'm not even supposed to be in France! I was deported when I was released!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Only way I'm gonna be able to do this challenge is if no one recognizes me!"
"I see…" said Tyler.
"Do you not like it?" Lindsay asked, sounding sad.
"Um… I think I can adjust to it!" Tyler smiled weakly.
"Thank you."
A while later, Chris and the contestants arrived at the Louvre. Once they were inside, Chris began to explain the challenge.
"Challenge time!" he announced. "Each will go on a scavenger hunt for a famous sculpture! Team Victory, you get Auguste Rodin's The Thinker!"
Chris handed a photo of the Thinker to DJ.
"Kinda fitting, don't ya think, Lindsay?" DJ asked, winking.
"Aw shucks, DJ!" Lindsay blushed.
"Team Minotaur, you get Venus De Milo!" said Chris, passing a photo to Alejandro. The guys of Team Minotaur crowded around excitedly to look at the photo.
"Ah Venus! Such beauty!" said Alejandro.
"Boobies!" Owen oohed.
"Lucky." Cody grumped jealously.
"Ugh. Boys." Heather scoffed.
"I know, right?" said Courtney.
"And Team Amazon gets Michelangelo's David!" said Chris. As Chris handed the photo to Heather, the girls of Team Amazon crowded around, just as excited as the Minotaurs.
"So sexy!" Katie oohed.
"Here's how it works!" Chris continued. "It's up to you guys to find your statues located somewhere in the Lover!"
"Well, that shouldn't be too hard! The statues are big!" Courtney exclaimed. "Plus, I'm amazing at reading brochure maps!"
Heather and Duncan rolled their eyes.
"But, the Thinker isn't in the Louvre!" Lindsay pointed out.
"And the statue of David is all the way in Italy!" said Gwen.
"Well, we're not using the actual statues! You see, we're using fake ones that we broke into fifteen pieces each and scattered around the museum! The first team to collect all their pieces, bring them back here to the pyramid court, and reassemble them into a replica of their statue, wins!"
"How will we know what pieces belong to us and which belong to other teams?" Trent asked.
"Each of the pieces has a sticker of its team's color. The Thinker has gold, Venus has blue, and David has pink!" Chris explained. Chef then arrived wheeling in an enormous crate big enough for several gorillas.
"Ah, Chef! Just in time to introduce the twist!"
"Oh, be still my beating heart." Gwen muttered sarcastically.
"Inside this crate are three species of bigfoot! There's the North American variant called the sasquatch, the Asian version, which we call the yeti, and the Australian version, known as the yowie! They are going to chase you around the Lava while you search for your statues' pieces!"
Chef yanked the crate open with a crowbar, revealing three eight-foot bipedal apes with glowing red eyes. They were nearly identical in appearance save for their color. The sasquatch had lavender fur and pink skin. The yeti had white fur and dark gray skin. The yowie had orange fur and brown skin. They hopped out of the crates and snarled at the contestants, who flinched.
"I'd start running!" Chris advised. Everyone took his advice and took off running. The sasquatch chased after Team Victory. The yeti pursued Team Minotaur. The yowie followed Team Amazon.
"I don't wanna be eaten by a bigfoot!" Ezekiel cried.
"I got an idea!" said Lindsay. She grabbed the back of Justin's shirt and yanked it off. Justin immediately got the hint, turned around and posed as though he were doing a camera shoot. The sasquatch halted and gawked at Justin. Its ferocious snarl morphed into a goofy excited grin.
"Atta girl, Linds!" DJ complimented.
"Thanks!" Lindsay cried. "Alright. Justin, you stay here and look pretty!"
"That's my specialty!" said the model.
Meanwhile, with Team Minotaur…
"Why are we running?" Eva asked without the slightest trace of fear on her face. "You know I can take this mother(BLEEP)!"
"Not necessary, She-Hulk!" said Noah. "Time for brains over brawn! Watch this! Totally works on my dog!"
Noah halted and turned around to face the pursuing yeti. He threw his hand up, pretending to hold up a tennis ball. The yeti paused in intrigue.
"Who wants the ball? Who wants the ball?!" Noah baby-talked the large ape. The yeti got down on all fours and panted excitedly. "You want it, don't you?! Go get it!"
Noah threw the imaginary ball and the ape took off chasing it.
"Well played, Noah!" Alejandro complimented.
"I'll say…" said Trent.
"Okay, we should split up!" Noah declared. "We'll find our pieces faster that way!"
"Good thinking!" said Tyler.
"I know! I'll take Owen, Izzy, and Eva and search the west side!" said Noah quickly. "The rest of you can search the east."
"Hm… alright!" said Alejandro. "Onward, my friends!"
Confessional: Alejandro
"Noah wanted to split up in Peru. And with that same group, no less! Is he in an alliance with them? Can't imagine what he sees in those lunatics… Regardless, that is half the team. Looks like my mission to break Owen's heart just got a little less personal."
End Confessional
The Amazons had somehow managed to lose the yowie. Ten minutes passed and the girls had collected four pieces of their statue. Two had been found by Gwen and two by Courtney.
"Come on, girls!" Heather snapped. "We can't let the boys beat us this time!"
"You seem to be taking this very personally." said Gwen.
"Well, yeah! They've beaten us four times!" Heather retorted.
"People lose challenges! It happens!"
"I suppose the runner-up of Season One would know, wouldn't she?" Gwen was silenced. A look of pain escaped her before she could disguise it with anger. Heather smirked victoriously.
"HEY CONTESTANTS!" came Chris's voice over the loudspeakers. "I FORGOT TO MENTION! AFTER THE CHALLENGE, I'M TREATING ALL REMAINING COUPLES TO ROMANTIC DINNERS, AS A TRIBUTE TO THE CITY OF LOVE!"
Sierra had not exactly been pulling her weight in this challenge, but this announcement completely broke her. She fell to the floor and began sobbing obnoxiously. Unfortunately, this was at the same time the yowie caught up to them.
"GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" the large orange ape growled. The Amazons were cornered in a dead end.
"You're kidding me! Now he shows up?!" Heather exclaimed.
"Maybe he's smarter than he looks!" Cody guessed.
"What do we do now?!" Katie cried.
"There's only one thing we can do." said Courtney, a fearless expression on her face. She cracked her knuckles and took a deep breath. "DUNCAN! HELP!"
Elsewhere…
Despite having the least amount of members, Team Victory was actually making the most progress in collecting pieces for their statue. Lindsay was able to determine the hiding spots of their pieces. They were found behind paintings and under the bases of sculptures. DJ and Ezekiel were more than happy to carry the pieces as Lindsay found them.
"Hey, look!" Ezekiel cried.
"Another piece?" DJ asked.
"No, an Egyptian exhibit! That's the place where we won the first challenge and became the bestest team ever! Hold my pieces, Barbie! I'm gonna go wallow in glory!"
Ezekiel shoved his pieces into Lindsay's arms and ran off to the Egyptian exhibit. DJ rolled his eyes.
"Okay… I guess we'll keep looking and you'll meet up with us later?" Lindsay called.
"Here, Lindsay. I'll carry those pieces for ya." said DJ.
"Oh, DJ! You're the best!"
Meanwhile…
"Ugh! Finally!" Noah cried. It was just him, Owen, Eva, and Izzy. "Just the four of us!"
"Yeah, go Team E-Scope!" Izzy yelled.
"Not so loud, psycho hose beast!" Noah scolded.
"Shouldn't we be focusing on winning the challenge?" said Eva.
"Winning the challenge is not a priority!" said Noah. "We need to discuss strategy!"
"What strategy? We haven't lost a single challenge yet." Eva argued.
"Yes, but when we do, we need to vote off Alejandro!" Noah declared. Owen and Eva stared in mild shock at him.
"Why don't you like Al?" Owen asked. "He's great!"
"Yeah, he and I are the reason we haven't lost yet!" Eva concurred.
"I don't trust the guy! He's like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil!"
"Ew." said Eva.
"You mean he's… dirty?" Owen asked.
"Slippery." Noah clarified. "It's like someone mixed Heather and Justin together. He's like Heather with social skills and he's like Justin with a brain."
"Hey, guys! Look at me!" Izzy called. Noah, Owen, and Eva turned to look at Izzy who was holding up a painting of an elderly man holding a pitchfork, with his daughter standing next to him. Before anyone could say anything, the crazy redhead bashed her face through the painting in place of the daughter's face. Then she started to blow raspberries and make funny faces. Owen giggled. Eva looked mildly stunned. Noah blanched.
"Izzy! You just destroyed Grant Wood's American Gothic!" Noah cried. Izzy ignored him and continued to make faces. "Izzy, you remember what happened to Lindsay when she smudged the Mona Lisa?"
"Oh, Noah! Don't be such a party pooper!" said Izzy. "This is a fake, anyway!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Come on, bro! Do you honestly think that they would actually put up the actual paintings when they could so easily be destroyed? Especially after what Lindsay did?"
Meanwhile…
The other half of Team Minotaur had just located Venus De Milo's head behind a grid of security lasers.
"How are we gonna get that piece?" Alejandro asked.
"Guess who was captain of his gymnastics team in kindergarten!" Tyler boasted. He closed his eyes and prepared to hop through the lasers. "It's Tyler time!" The jock then ran into the wall and knocked himself out.
"Fail!" Duncan laughed. Alejandro turned to the punk.
"Duncan, you're an experienced criminal, right?" the Spaniard asked.
"Well, thank you for noticing!" said Duncan, flattered.
"You're quite welcome! I assume you can navigate this obstacle with little trouble?"
"No shit!" said the punk. "Stand back and watch the master!"
"DUNCAN! HELP!" came Courtney's voice.
"Was that Courtney?" Trent asked.
"Eh, she'll be fine." said the punk.
"DUNCAN! HELP!"
"Gwen!" cried Trent and Duncan simultaneously. Trent dropped the pieces of Venus he was holding and immediately ran off in the direction of the goth's voice, with Duncan at his side.
"Amigos, wait!" Alejandro called. He then grunted.
The Amazons were cornered. Gwen and Courtney were hugging each other as they screamed in terror. Cody had jumped into Heather's arms as they screamed in terror. Katie just ran around in circles with her arms over her head, screaming in terror. Sierra just sat on the floor, knees to her chest, bawling her eyes out.
Just when it looked like the yowie was about to pounce, Trent and Duncan arrived and tackled it. The two Minotaurs began wrestling the yowie, buying the Amazons time to escape. However, they were a little distracted by Sierra's wailing.
"Cody, you got her into this mess! You have to get her out of it!" Heather demanded, throwing the geek to the ground. He reluctantly walked over to her and patted her back.
"Uh… there, there!" he said awkwardly.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the fangirl howled.
"Ugh! I can't stand any more crying!" Gwen snapped. "We can do this challenge without them!"
Heather, Courtney, and Katie nodded in agreement and left Cody and Sierra alone.
Meanwhile, with Team Minotaur…
"What's wrong, Al?" Owen cried, as he and Team E-Scope arrived.
"Noah! Perfect timing!" Alejandro exclaimed. "Duncan has abandoned us, and you're the only one small enough to sneak through these lasers!"
Noah was suspicious but didn't press it, as he heard a bigfoot growling.
"Fine, let's just get this over with! I don't think my imaginary ball trick will fool the yeti a second time!" he conceded, throwing an imaginary ball again.
"Oh! Oh! A ball! I'll get it! I'll get it!" Izzy cried, running off in the direction she saw Noah throw the ball.
"Okay, so I just…" said Noah. He moved his arm into the net.
ZAP!
"OW!" he cried. He pulled his arm back. The tip of his right index finger had been singed after coming in contact with a laser.
Chris, watching from the Louvre's security room, laughed.
"Looks like things have taken a shocking turn for our contestants!" he narrated. "Electrifying, wouldn't you say, Chef?"
Chef groaned.
"Too cheesy?" the host asked.
"Like an extra-large five-cheese pizza!"
"We'll be right back!"
After the commercial break, we cut back to Cody and Sierra. The latter had her fingers in her ears as Cody tried to explain himself.
"Look, I swear, I didn't leave you behind on purpose!" Cody pleaded. "Even though I don't exactly like you the same way that you- Okay, that's coming out wrong! Forget the explanation! I am sorry! I'll do whatever you want!"
"LA-LA-LA-LA! Is somebody talking?" Sierra snapped.
As Cody pondered on what to do next, he felt a tap on the shoulder. He turned around to see that it was Duncan. The punk was folding his arms and frowning in disapproval like a disappointed father.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Sierra's mad at me!" Cody answered.
"So what?"
"I have to get her to stop crying!"
"Why?"
"Because, my team told me to."
"I don't see how that's your problem!"
"They're blaming me for getting her into this state! And I'm not exactly in a position of power here."
"That's no reason for you not to stand up for yourself!"
"But my team doesn't see any worth in me!"
"Not true! Gwen and Courtney are relying on your vote to stay in the game, aren't they? And no doubt Heather would want you to come over to her side to resolve the feud between them! They're just bluffing!"
"How can you be sure?"
"Listen, dude. Grow a spine. Be a man. Tell Sierra to get her ass in gear and that you are not going to tolerate any more of this!"
"How can I do that if I don't have anything to offer?"
"Here!" Duncan placed two statue pieces into Cody's.
"Huh?"
"These pieces belong to your team. I stole them so that you guys would lose but you clearly need them more than I do. Just don't tell them I gave 'em to you out of pity. That would make both of us look bad."
Duncan then took off. Cody turned back to Sierra, only to find that she had disappeared.
Confessional: Duncan
"Cody's not wrong that standing up for himself has a few risks. But hey, he'll gain my respect if he does!"
Confessional: Sierra
"Boys are all scum! You can be as nice as possible, kiss their butt all the time, and they will break your heart, chew it up, spit it out, stomp all over, throw it into the sewer, and laugh at you!"
Confessional: Duncan
"By the way, I was actually going give those pieces to Gwen, not hide them. Her team does not need to lose again!"
End Confessional
It took Cody five minutes to locate his team.
"Hey, girls!" he called.
"Cody?" Gwen called, surprised.
"In the flesh! And with two more pieces for David!"
"You're supposed to be dealing with Sierra!" Heather scolded.
"I already did!"
"Then where is she?"
"Bathroom. How many pieces did you find?"
"Uh… With those two, we have fifteen!" said Courtney, pleasantly surprised. "Let's get going."
Team Amazon ran to the pyramid court. They arrived at the same time as the other two teams.
"Alright! Quickly now! Put all our pieces here!" Alejandro commanded his team.
"Let's move it, girls!" Heather commanded her team. "Those boys won't know what hit them!"
The Amazons and Minotaurs dumped their pieces in roughly the same spot, causing a minor mix-up between the pieces.
"Hey, you got some of your Venus/David in our David/Venus!" Courtney and Noah snapped at the same time.
"Argh! You did that on purpose!" Heather and Eva accused.
The two teams began to argue with each other, allowing Team Victory to get a head start.
"Hey, Linds." Tyler greeted.
"Hi, Tyler!" Lindsay greeted warmly.
"Where's Zeke?" the jock asked.
"I dunno. Maybe Egypt." Lindsay answered, uncaringly.
Meanwhile, Ezekiel was still walking through the Egyptian exhibit, basking in his own praise.
"Oh, yeah! Zeke is da man! He's gonna be the king of Total Drama in a few weeks!" he boasted. He noticed an alcove where several mummified animals rested. "Aw, what a cute puppy!"
Ezekiel reached out his hand and stroked the mummified dog. It crumbled to pieces.
"Whoops. Teehee." Ezekiel chuckled nervously.
He then noticed a sign that said "Ne pas toucher. Objets maudits."
"Aw, shizzle…" Ezekiel swore. He ran out of the Egyptian exhibit as fast as he could. Once he was out, he noticed a golf cart. He quickly commandeered it and drove towards the pyramid court. "Okay! Maybe that sign was yankin' my chain!"
As he turned a corner, he caught sight of the yeti, who growled and jumped onto Zeke's cart. The homeschooler's sight was impaired as the yeti attempted to seize him.
"Hey! Can't see! Get off!" he yelled. He managed to shake the yeti off, only to run over the sasquatch's foot. "Whoops! Sorry!"
Angrily, the yeti and the sasquatch chased after him again.
Meanwhile, back at the pyramid court, the Amazons and Minotaurs had gotten their pieces sorted out and were building with great urgency. All except for Owen, who was scratching his butt with Venus's leg.
"Put the middle piece under the wide part!" Tyler instructed. "Then rotate the thingy straightwise! No, no, no! Under-over!"
"Those aren't even words!" Noah yelled. Over on Team Victory, Lindsay giggled.
Confessional: Lindsay
"Tyler's so cute when he's trying to act smart!"
End Confessional
"Ooh! Would ya look at that!" Owen cried, walking over to a painting of cheese, wine, and grapes. "Looks yummy!"
Owen reached out his hand. He was about to rip the painting out of its frame and eat it when he experienced a flashback of Eva pummeling him with a shovel in Germany. With a traumatized expression, he withdrew his hand and turned away from it.
"I don't think this is right…" said Courtney. Team Amazon had rushed to put together their statue before the others, resulting in a very flawed completion. David's head was turning the wrong way. Protruding off his right shoulder was his left leg. His torso was backwards. His right leg was upside-down.
"I think we're missing a leg!" Trent called.
"Oh, I have it! Here ya go!" said Owen helpfully.
"Thanks, Owen." said Trent, taking the leg. The musician's nostrils flared. "Ugh! Did someone crap their pants?"
DJ, Lindsay, and Justin were almost finished with the Thinker. After DJ snapped the statue's right hand into place, all they had left was the head.
"We're totally gonna win, guys!" Lindsay cried excitedly.
"Hey, Lindsay, come here for a second!" said DJ. He then placed the formerly-dumb blonde right behind the Thinker, making her head pop out from behind its stump.
"You're the Thinker, now!" DJ exclaimed. Lindsay giggled and blushed.
"YO! LOOK OUT!" Ezekiel screamed. Somehow, all three bigfoot had boarded the golf cart and were beating on Ezekiel. The contestants all fled as the cart zoomed through the pyramid court-
CRASH!
-completely destroying the Thinker. Lindsay, DJ, and Justin dropped their jaws as Ezekiel crashed onto the wall, though not before the bigfoot abandoned ship.
"Ooh… Medic…" Ezekiel moaned as his teammates glared daggers at him.
Confessional: Ezekiel
"You know for such big feet, you'd think a bigfoot would be pretty slow."
End Confessional
After confirming that the coast was clear, the Amazons and Minotaurs returned to their statues and quickly completed them.
"Perfect!" Noah declared, fastening Venus's head onto her neck.
"The Minotaurs take victory today!" Chris announced. "And coming in at a close second is Team Amazon!"
Gwen was seen standing on Courtney's shoulders and adjusting David's head, while Heather glared jealously at the Minotaurs.
"And this week's losers are- not at all ironically anymore- Team Victory!"
DJ roared in frustration.
"Take it easy, DJ!" Lindsay said comfortingly.
"Why?! Why?!" DJ cried. "Why do we keep losing?! We must be cursed or something!" The gentle giant's eyes went wide. He turned to Justin and grabbed him by his collar. "Justin! You're an expert on curses, aren't you?"
"Of course I am. I'm from Hawaii." said Justin.
"Then tell me! Why are we always losing?!"
"Hm, let's see…" said Justin, bearing a resemblance to his team's statue. "Why does Team Victory always lose?" Justin gasped in realization. "I just answered my own question!"
"What do you mean?" Lindsay asked.
"We jinxed ourselves when we named our Team, Team Victory." Justin explained.
"What?!" Lindsay cried incredulously.
"Don't you realize how arrogant that name sounds? We provoked the universe into giving us bad luck!"
"That is the dumbest-!" Lindsay started.
"No, he's right!" DJ cried. "We chose that name out of overconfidence! And we're paying for our overconfidence! Who even came up with the name, Team Victory, anyway?"
Chris handed out red boarding passes to the Minotaurs, before handing gray ones to the Amazons.
"Where's Sierra?" Chris asked.
"Yeah, Cody! Where is she?" Heather demanded.
"Hell if I know!" Cody shrugged.
"She's your responsibility!" said Courtney.
"I'm right here." said Sierra, walking in looking glum.
"Aw, there you are!" Chris cried. He then handed her ticket to her. "Anyway! Will, Tyler, Lindsay, Duncan, Courtney, Owen, and Izzy follow me? You're all having a romantic dinner at the Eiffel Tower!"
Almost everyone Chris mentioned grinned in delight. Owen was absolutely thrilled.
"WOOHOO!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Sierra wailed, falling to the floor. Teams Minotaur and Victory cast awkward looks at her. Team Amazon just covered their faces in embarrassment.
"Cody, I thought you said you fixed her!" Heather scolded.
"I said I dealt with her!" Cody corrected. "I didn't say successfully!"
"Fix her! Now!" Heather demanded. Cody looked around and caught Duncan's eyes. The punk gave him a daring look. Cody nodded.
"Oh, I'll fix her…" Cody grumbled. He walked over to Sierra and stood her up. "Enough! Sierra! Put a sock in it!"
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Cody slapped Sierra across the face three times. Everyone gasped in shock. Sierra flinched. Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and her pupils shrank to the size of a pinprick.
"Look, I'm gonna waste any more time trying to convince you that I didn't abandon you! I didn't! But after today, I wish I had!" Cody yelled. "You have been completely insufferable to me the entire I've known you! And today only made it worse! So, I'm giving you a warning: Stay away from me! Do not touch me or my stuff! And don't even talk to me unless it's important! If you do, I will file a restraining order against you! Got it?!"
"...Yessir." Sierra eeped.
Cody stomped off. The fangirl ran to Heather and hid behind her back. While almost everyone stared at Cody as though they didn't know him, Duncan and Eva looked quite impressed.
Confessional: Duncan
"Waddaya know? Code-meister's got some balls after all!"
Confessional: Sierra
"So much for playing hard to get…"
End Confessional
"Wow… that just… happened…" Chris commented. "Anyway, like I said, follow me, couples!"
Later…
The contestants had arrived at the Eiffel Tower. Tyler, Lindsay, Duncan, Courtney, Owen, and Izzy had been seated near the tower at fancy tables. They had all given orders to Chris for a nearby restaurant and were discussing Paris, which each girl asking her boyfriend the exact same question.
"So, Tyler, what do you think of the city of love?" Lindsay asked.
"It's amazing!" said Tyler. "But only because you're here!"
"I agree!" said Lindsay. "I'd love to go shopping here with you if I wasn't legally banned from this entire country. Those months in prison were absolute Hell. I tried going for an insanity plea, but they didn't care."
"Yeah, I saw the Mona Lisa! It looked at good as new!" said Tyler. "What's all the fuss?! It looked like the damage was corrected easily!"
"Tyler, you're sweet! But I had just destroyed a priceless piece of art! I'm lucky I didn't end up like Marie Antoinette!"
"Who?"
"Never mind. How's my hair looking?"
"Actually… I think I like it even better now!"
"Aw, Tyler!"
Meanwhile, over at another table…
"So, Big O, what do you think of the city of love?"
"It should be called the city of food!" Owen answered. "They say the best food in the world is made in France. And that the best food in France is made in Paris! And the best food in Paris is made at the restaurant we're ordering from! HA! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! WOOOOOOOOO!"
Izzy and Owen didn't realize it, but they were being watched by Alejandro.
Meanwhile, over at the third table…
"So, Duncan, what do you think of the city of love?" the CIT asked.
"Pretty overrated if you ask me." the punk replied cynically. "Who needs a city to fall in love?"
"It's more than just falling in love, Duncan." Courtney explained patiently. "It's used for dates. Proposals. Weddings. Honeymoons."
"You trying to tell me something?" Duncan asked, growing very uncomfortable.
"Oh, never mind!" said Courtney naughtily.
"Thanks." said Duncan.
"I'm glad the drinking age here is only sixteen! I've always wanted a glass of wine! What about you?"
"As if I woulda let the law prevent me from enjoying a beer!" Duncan scoffed. Courtney then noticed something moving in the bushes. She craned her neck to the side to get a brief glimpse of a black-and-teal-haired head retreating into the bushes. Annoyed, Courtney pulled Duncan across the table.
SMOOCH!
The CIT gave the punk a big showy kiss, knowing full well that Gwen was watching. However, when she pulled away, she gawked in confusion at the lack of euphoria on Duncan's face.
"Excuse me, I… gotta take a dump!" said Duncan, getting up and walking towards the restroom.
"But, Duncan, looks like our food's coming!" Courtney called.
Confessional: Courtney
"What? Who says 'I need to take a dump' after a kiss?!" (Folds her arms and grumbles, followed by a look of contemplation) "You guys don't think I was too hard on him last season, do you?"
End Confessional
Duncan passed Gwen's hiding spot on his way to the restroom. The goth caught a brief glimpse of the punk's face, scrunched up in disgust and violation. When Duncan slammed the door behind him upon entering the men's restroom, Gwen popped out of the bushes, right as the waiters were bringing their meals to the couples.
"ARGH!" cried one of the waiters. He was so startled he dropped the platter he was holding, which just so happened to be holding Izzy and Owen's meal.
"Whoops. Sorry!" Gwen apologized.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!" Owen screamed. He ran over to the scene and looked at his meal, now splattered across the ground. "WHY?! WHY?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" he wailed as though his dog had just been run over.
Gwen ran off. While Owen mourned the loss of what surely would have been the greatest meal ever, Izzy awkwardly left the table and attempted to board the plane. She was intercepted by Alejandro.
"Bonjour, Isabella!" the Spaniard greeted charmingly.
"Oh! Alejandro! Hi!" the crazy redhead greeted, blushing. "Uh, what's up?"
"Paris is so romantic, don't you think?"
"Sure, if you're into that stuff." said Izzy, looking over her shoulder at Owen, who was desperately eating his ruined meal off the ground.
"If I may ask, what do you see in him?"
"Well, I've had like twelve boyfriends before and they have absolutely no stamina! You see, sometimes I get a little… silly! And then I start biting and kicking them. None of them ever seem to appreciate it. Owen gets that I'm being affectionate whenever I bite his neck or kick his gut. Why? You jealous?"
"Guilty as charged." Alejandro sighed dramatically.
"Whoa! You… what?" said Izzy stunned.
"No! I've said too much! Forgive me!" said Alejandro. He retreated onto the plane.
Meanwhile, Gwen had arrived at the restroom that Duncan was hiding in. After making sure no one was watching, she cracked open the door to the men's room and snuck in. There was Duncan, at the sink, washing his face, a pained expression on his face.
"Duncan?" Gwen called softly. Duncan gasped and turned to see Gwen who looked very concerned.
"Gwen? What are you doing here?"
"Are you okay?" she asked. Duncan stared at her as he tried to decide how to answer.
"No." he said, his voice cracking.
"What's wrong?" Gwen asked. Duncan didn't respond for a few seconds. "Does it have something to do with Courtney?"
"It has everything to do with Courtney!" he exclaimed, clearly upset. "I thought she was awesome! Hot, strong, and she had a dark side that was just so fun to bring out. But when Season Two started… She turned into a monster!"
"Yeah, she hit you several times, didn't she?" Gwen asked.
"She hit my balls five times! Only two of those times made it onscreen. I've been wearing a jock strap all season just in case I accidentally say the wrong thing to her again!"
"Ow. That doesn't sound comfortable." said Gwen sympathetically.
"And the list! The (BLEEP) list!"
"She tried to change you."
"Don't get me started on that…"
"And then there's the time she shoved a diaper in your-" Duncan covered Gwen's mouth, cutting her off.
"Don't say the D-word, damn it!" he grunted through his teeth, shuddering.
"Sorry. Did anything else happen?"
"Courtney cost me Total Drama Action!"
"What? How?"
"You remember the final challenge? Where we could skip each section if we answered a trivia question correctly?"
"Yeah?"
"Courtney's question was about the name of her old band, and that was the only question I knew the answer to! But for some reason, she decided to choose a separate question for me: What color was she thinking of at that particular moment? How stupid can you get?! I've had friends complain to me about their girlfriends being upset with them because they 'weren't able to read their minds!' I always thought they were exaggerating, but then this happened! Why do girls even do that?!"
"Because us girls sometimes read each other's minds." said Gwen. "And then we forget that guys are different from girls."
"Yeah… So, that led to me and Beth tying and the rest of you voting on who won Season Two. And we all know how that turned out!" Despite Duncan's attempts to remain in control, he couldn't hold it in any longer. He let out a brief roar and punched the mirror.
"ARGH!"
SMASH!
The glass shattered. Before Duncan pulled his fist away, Gwen gently gripped his wrist.
"Hey… Hey…" she said soothingly. She turned him around to face her. Tears fell down his face. Gwen, touched by Duncan showing her his vulnerable side and highly empathetic, pulled him in for a hug.
Duncan remembered his first kiss with the CIT. It was like fireworks were going off. Fantasies of them getting married, making out, having kids, and building a life together had flashed through his mind at the time.
The last kiss, however, felt like he was kissing a shoe. And instead of pleasant fantasies flashing through his mind, he was filled with flashbacks of Courtney's abuse.
After about ten seconds, he broke the hug.
"I hate Courtney." Duncan said. Gwen's heart jumped.
"She's back to the way she was in Season One, right?" Gwen asked.
"So what?" Duncan muttered. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget what Courtney was in Total Drama Action. She had shown him the worst side of her. And he was afraid that that monster was still in there, ready to come out the next time he screwed up.
"Well, Trent seems to be back to his normal self as well..."
"Trent just turned into a loser during Season Two. That's something you can recover from! Speaking of which, you didn't ever try to hook back up with him, did you?"
"Actually, I did."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I drove all the way to his house to try and restart our relationship. He said no."
"What?!"
"Yeah, I tried to convince him to give me another chance. I was even on my knees at one point, crying my eyes out, begging for forgiveness but he wouldn't budge."
"Wow. That sounds… really pathetic!" Duncan chuckled.
"It was." the goth admitted, chuckling a bit herself. "Man, what happened to them?"
"Trent and Courtney? They lost their minds out of jealousy and paranoia."
"But why? They just seemed so… out-of-character!"
"I know. It's like Total Drama is actually a fictional show! And that the writers were forced to flanderize Trent and Courtney in order to make us break up with them!"
Gwen stared at Duncan.
"What?" the punk asked.
"Dude, I would be questioning your sanity," said Gwen. "…if I hadn't had the exact same thoughts."
"I read your mind." Duncan teased. Gwen laughed. "Well, thanks for the talk, Pasty. I gotta go eat."
Elimination Ceremony: Team Victory
"Team Victory!" Chris greeted the four members of the losing team. "You guys are bumming me out with your suckiness!"
"Chris, can we change our name?" DJ asked.
"Nope! But you can vote off your fifth player! So get goin'!"
DJ voted, then Ezekiel did, then Justin, and Lindsay was last.
"Okay!" Chris cried. "Plane tickets go to Justin and DJ!"
The two big guys grabbed their tickets. They turned to watch the rest of the ceremony.
"This leaves Lindsay and Ezekiel." said Chris. "Zeke, you've been in the bottom at every elimination ceremony your team had. Are you feeling lucky today?"
"Heck yeah, homie!" Ezekiel exclaimed.
"Lindsay, you're a completely different person now!" said Chris.
"How?" Lindsay asked.
"You're no longer dumb, and you're no longer blonde!"
"I'm still myself! And what does that have to do with me being in the bottom?"
"The real Lindsay has already been eliminated! Metaphorically speaking, of course!"
"So my entire identity is being a dumb blonde?"
"Correct!" Chris confirmed. Lindsay glowered at Chris. "The final boarding pass goes to…"
Lindsay sat with a grumpy expression on her face. Ezekiel closed his eyes, folded his arms, leaned back, and smirked confidently.
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"Lindsay!" Chris announced. Lindsay smirked.
"What?!" Ezekiel cried.
"Sorry, dude!" said Chris, looking very pleased. "Looks like your luck finally ran out!"
"Yo, that's unbelievable! Some team!" Ezekiel scoffed, as his team boarded the plane without saying goodbye.
"Dude, if I'm being honest, the only reason you were accepted onto the show in the first place was so that we could have a first boot that no one would miss!" Chris explained. "How you managed to procure a fanbase is beyond me!"
"You guys are a couple of-!"
"Don't care!" said Chris. "Later, loser-zilla!"
Chris walked into the plane. A few seconds later, Chef threw Ezekiel's luggage out the door. He was slightly confused when he didn't see the homeschooler anywhere, but shrugged it off.
"That's one more teen off the plane!" Chris narrated from the cockpit. "Will next week be this insane? Find out next time! On Total… Drama… World Tour!"
Votes
DJ: Ezekiel
Ezekiel: Lindsay
Justin: Ezekiel
Lindsay: Ezekiel
Results
Ezekiel: 3 votes (Eliminated)
Lindsay: 1 vote
Rankings
18. Ezekiel
19. Sadie
20. Leshawna
21. Geoff
22. Bridgette
23. Harold
24. Beth
Author's note: Sorry for getting this out late. I've actually had it ready for a while but was kinda nervous about uploading it.
If I had known that so many people hated the Team Victory subplot so much, I would have reworked the elimination order. Unfortunately, I don't start writing these fics until I've gotten just about everything planned, so the elimination order is set in stone. In case you haven't caught on, Team Victory's bad luck was all supposed to be building up to Ezekiel's elimination. If you recall, he was in the bottom of every elimination ceremony his team had so far, much like DJ was in canon. I didn't have much planned for the homeschooler other than letting him go a little further than last time. Sorry to fans of Ezekiel, and sorry to fans of Team Victory, but I'm not changing anything at this point.
For Team Amazon, we have that much-awaited divergence for the Coderra plot. I remember feeling so sorry for Cody. Being forced to apologize to Sierra for not accepting her creepiness and lack of boundaries just wasn't fair. For the first eight episodes of TDWT, I was pretty neutral on Sierra and this was the episode that tipped her onto my bad side. Her constant wailing was unpleasant, she went on a sexist rant disguised as a song, and was revealed to be manipulating Cody throughout the entire episode. I swear, I wanted to smack the girl after this episode.
Back to Team Victory, we have Lindsay going further this time, with no tiebreaker needed because I couldn't come up with a reason for Justin to vote off Lindsay instead of Ezekiel. She probably could have easily beaten him in the tiebreaker, especially with her newfound brainpower, but I'm not much of a fashionista and didn't wanna bother.
Finally, we have the first major development in the love triangle, being that despite Duncan's tough exterior, Courtney's cruelty was indeed affecting him. I'm gonna be blunt. While Duncan's actions in TDWT were irresponsible, I cannot say that I felt any anger towards him, nor can I say I felt any sympathy for Courtney. The thing is, when bad things happen to bad people, I tend not to feel sorry for them. I'm weird like that. Even if it's objectively worse than what they deserve. It's why I didn't feel sorry for Scott when he got put in a trauma chair. It's why I didn't feel bad for Max when Chris disqualified him for seemingly no reason. It's why I didn't feel sorry for Geoff when Bridgette tried to cheat on him or when Blaineley was bugging him about it. But I digress. Unlike much of the fandom, I'm not gonna treat Duncan like he's a rapist or murderer just for cheating on his ABUSIVE CONTROLLING girlfriend to which he was not legally married to, especially when he's still just a teenager!
Anyway, read and review!