A/N: Here you go! Thanks for all the reviews, favorites and follows! We're approaching the thousand follower mark, which is crazy to me. I really appreciate all the support, and hope you continue to enjoy the story.
Chapter 22
November 25, 1995
The week finished smoothly for Harry, which he soaked up while he could. Daphne and her friends spent the previous night in the Room with Harry's, and the group meshed surprisingly well. He was happy to fade into the background, and enjoyed the time even more than he thought he would. He went to bed that night with a wide smile on his face. He was thrilled that the two groups got on so well, and that he had someone's hand to hold when his best friends went all gushy. He knew this idyllic period wouldn't last, but he was thankful for it all the same.
As Harry finished his dinner in the great hall on Saturday, however, he saw that his dream life's end was approaching.
He saw Daphne arguing angrily with Draco at their table, though the boy was clearly not getting the message. Harry watched her slide further down the bench, away from the arrogant ferret, but Draco followed with an obnoxious grin. Blaise, Tracey, and Astoria were arguing with Malfoy's cronies, and didn't seem to notice Malfoy's movement.
Harry rose angrily to his feet, glancing at the head table as he did so. Umbridge was staring right at him, a challenging smirk on her face, obviously daring him to intervene. With Snape absent for the evening, he happily obliged.
He allowed his power to build while he stormed around the table, watching as Daphne rose from hers. Malfoy followed her, grabbing her wrist as she tried for the exit, yanking her violently backward. The girl recovered with a snarl, firing a spell at the boy from point blank range. The Slytherin's feet nearly left the ground, as he obviously felt a repeat performance of the spell she hit him with not long ago.
He seemed better prepared this time, however, as he quickly fought through the pain and drew his wand. Unfortunately for the immature boy, Daphne's curse gave Harry enough time to reach them.
He reached out with his left hand, spinning the boy around by his robes roughly. His right was already mid-swing, the momentum of Draco's spin only adding to its power. His fist connected with the boy's cheek, sending his target sprawling against the wall. Malfoy was knocked unconscious immediately, but Harry didn't lower his guard.
He quickly spun to see a group of students rising from their seats, and he couldn't help the evil smirk that grew on his face as he drew his wand. Warrington was the first to return the action, and also the first to be punished for it. Harry deflected the teen's blasting curse towards the ceiling, and blocked a second from Pucey before going to work.
Harry elected to teach a lesson as opposed to ruining lives, though part of him really wanted to do otherwise. Warrington caught an extremely overpowered stinger to his shoulder, quickly dropping his wand in a yelp of pain and surprise. Pucey and Crabbe, the next to react, caught the same spell on their wand hands.
Harry continued with the curse, hitting every one of the handful of Slytherins that moved to defend their obnoxious classmate, a few more than once before they dropped their wands. Ron had told him how painful the stinger was at full strength, and he knew the group would think twice before attacking again.
It took no more than ten seconds before all interested Slytherins were wandless and wincing in pain, though Harry snapped a quick stunner at Malfoy, knowing his next spell wouldn't be as polite if the boy opened his mouth.
"POTTER!" Umbridge squealed, waddling angrily from her spot at the table. "Of all the despicable things…"
Harry casually cast a Silencio before she drew near, and couldn't help the joy the woman's shocked expression brought him. The 'headmistress' clumsily drew her wand, but Harry decided not to find out if she meant to cancel the spell or attack him. He cast a quick transfiguration charm and canceled his Silencio before turning back to Daphne.
"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, immediately pulling the girl into his arms.
"Of course I am," she answered, gripping his back tightly.
She was shaking slightly, and Harry realized she was crying. He squeezed her tighter, and the girl shook harder still. Instead of sobs, however, he heard muffled laughter coming from his chest.
"What are you so amused by, Miss Greengrass?" he asked as he pulled back a bit, adrenaline still coursing through his body.
"You… she's…" Daphne took a moment to catch her breath, but the laughter kept interrupting. Harry felt the familiar unadulterated joy at the sound, and was content to wait until she found her voice.
"She's a toad!"
"Of course she is," Harry responded with a laugh of his own, finally understanding the girl's amusement. "I promised, didn't I?"
Daphne leaned forward on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek before returning to his arms. As he sunk back into the embrace he felt an approaching curse from a recovering Slytherin, and raised his wand to snap a shield into life behind him.
"A moment please, madam," Harry said formally to the girl in his arms.
"Of course, sir," she replied with a grin.
He turned, forcing a look of fury on his face, which wasn't easy due to how happy he felt at the girl's affection. Realizing it was Warrington that was intent on continuing the disagreement, he fired a harsh rupturing curse at the teen's wand hand, ensuring the boy was down for the count.
"The next wand or spell I see will be met with something much more permanent," he said softly, though the power coursing through him caused his words to travel the room.
A few of the more agreeable Slytherin's quickly raised their hands in surrender, while the others chose not to react to his promise nor reach for their wands.
"Mr. Potter," McGonagall called as she finally approached from her spot at the head table. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, ma'am," he replied gratefully. "Though I believe Madam Pomfrey has her work cut out for her."
"It looks that way," the stern witch replied. "I'm sorry it's come to this."
"It was always going to," Harry answered quietly with a shrug. "I just hope Daphne avoids a suspension. Ask Madam Pomfrey to let the two idiots sit for a bit. They deserve their pain."
"I'll treat them as their conditions merit," the witch in question said as she approached, a furious look in her eyes. "Though they both deserve what they got and more."
Harry stifled a laugh and couldn't help glancing at Draco. It was so tempting to curse the stunned boy further, but he knew he'd regret it once the adrenaline left him.
"I'll need to return our headmistress to her original state," McGonagall continued darkly. "But I wanted to ensure you were well before I did. Are you prepared?"
"Of course, Professor," he answered with a grin. "Gentlemen!"
At Harry's call, Fred and George walked from where they stood at the Gryffindor table, flanking Harry on either side. He felt Daphne grab the back of his robes with both hands, and leaned backwards slightly into her touch.
McGonagall summoned the toad from where it lay on the floor, slowing its descent as it neared. The toad gave a loud 'CROAK' as it finished its flight, causing the room to erupt into laughter. The warty animal landed at the Transfiguration Master's feet, and Minerva reversed the magic.
Umbridge returned to her usual form with a squeal, struggling to find her feet. Before she could do so, George turned her back into the same animal, to the delight of hundreds of students.
"Mister Weasley," McGonagall scolded dryly, fighting a grin. "Fifty points from Gryffindor."
She cast the cancellation again, and Umbridge squealed once more. Fred allowed her to regain her composure and take a deep breath... And the toad returned.
"Mister Weasley," their head of house scolded with the exact same tone. "Fifty points from Gryffindor."
She reversed the spell once more, and the vile woman was finally given the time to recover.
"POTTER!" She squealed, the noise making most students cover their ears. "YOU ARE EXPELLED!"
"Yeah, no shit…" Harry's monotone told everyone exactly how worried he was by the punishment, but Umbridge was too distracted to hear him.
"WEASLEYS! You two are suspended! Go pack your things!"
Instead of doing so, Fred turned her into a toad one final time, while George cast a spell to make the very-appropriate animal tapdance through the hall. The two quickly tossed a few small boxes into the air, lighting their fuses as they did.
Fireworks filled the room, and a light-hearted jig played loudly in the background. The toad quickly found the tempo, dancing along to the music. The majority of the students clapped along with glee, with only the chastised Slytherins and a few other sycophants refusing to join in.
The light show suddenly morphed into a huge Hogwarts crest, though the lion quickly exited its position and somehow grabbed the toad, carrying it through the great hall. George reached into his pocket and tossed another box towards the Slytherins closest to the head table, students scurrying out of the way as the package landed.
The table disappeared, replaced with a life-like swamp, alligators included. The flaming lion quickly sped towards the creation, tossing the toad directly into the middle of the magical swamp before fading away.
"Headmistress," Fred called imperiously, though the disgusting woman was likely too distracted to listen. "We've recently felt a little… stifled."
"It feels as if we've outgrown our environment," George added.
"Big fish in a little pond and all that."
"So unfortunately," George continued, reaching into his pockets once more.
"We quit!" the two called simultaneously, tossing one last round of fireworks into the air. They turned towards the doors, the magical explosions following them dramatically. They didn't look back as they made it through the doors, and Harry couldn't help but feel impressed by their exit.
He quickly turned back to Daphne, her smile stunning him for a brief moment. "Looks like you're on your own."
"I wonder if I'll ever see you again," she responded with a roll of her eyes.
Her sarcastic attitude was broken by Harry leaning down and planting a quick kiss on her cheek, the first time he dared to do so. He laughed as she blushed to the roots of her hair, before turning to McGonagall.
He led the smirking woman away from the Slytherin table, making sure to keep his voice low.
"I'll be around. Send a Patronus if you need me."
"I will, Harry," she replied as softly. "I'm glad I got to see that."
"Share the memory with Snape, if you would. He'd enjoy it."
At the woman's nod he looked over to his friends at the Gryffindor table. Ron and Hermione stood with grins on their faces, the rest of the table applauding loudly. He bowed his head slightly in appreciation, before turning back to Daphne. The girl seemed to have recovered from his kiss, and blew him one in return. He gave another small bow to the cheering students, and breathed deeply.
As he turned and walked through the doors, the applause was deafening. He leaned against them for a moment once they closed, wishing things had worked out differently. He wasn't happy with the situation, but that was about as grand an exit as he could've hoped for.
He looked up from his feet, directly into the grinning faces of his new partners.
"Go get your things. We have work to do."
—
After the three moved their belongings into the Room, Harry created a door to the Headmaster's office. The teens entered, Fred beating George in their rush to Dumbledore's chair. He leaned back and propped his feet on the desk, gesturing imperiously to the chairs opposite him.
"Gentlemen," he began as authoritatively as he could. "Please have a seat. I've asked you here to discuss your behavior."
"Fred Weasley as Headmaster," Harry replied with a shudder. "Maybe the only thing worse than Umbridge."
The redhead took offense, clutching his chest dramatically. George chuckled as he began investigating the office, touching all the shiny instruments he'd clearly been wanting to for years.
"Good show down there," Harry offered with a grin. "How in the hell did you manage to get the lion to pick her up?"
"The fireworks were tied to her transfiguration," Fred answered.
"We didn't know you were gonna do the same. Great minds, I guess," George added over his shoulder, knocking a large metal contraption to the floor in his distraction.
"Let's use that impressive mind to keep from breaking things," Harry said, rolling his eyes as he quickly repaired the bizarre object. "Fred, if you'd check the desk for a ward stone, we can get started."
"Absolutely!" the excited teen responded, flinging drawers open with abandon. "Er… what's a ward stone?"
"Just pull everything out and I'll try to feel the magic."
The Headmaster wannabe quickly pulled things from the desk, tossing anything he deemed unimportant over his shoulder. George, standing behind, grew frustrated as he was hit with a third bag of lemon drops, and decided to take his revenge. With a massive yank, the impressive chair was toppled backwards, flipping its occupant over its back.
Fred rolled into his attacker, knocking George's legs out from underneath him. The tangled limbs immediately turned into a wrestling match, but the office was the only clear loser of the bout. Harry chuckled as he watched the destruction, and calmly stepped over the pair to begin the search anew. It took him a minute, but he eventually found what he was looking for.
He placed it on top of the desk, righted the chair, and sat calmly. The twins' brawl had carried them to the other side of the office, a trail of debris in their wake. Harry allowed his magic to build again, and took a deep breath.
"Messrs Weasley," he intoned powerfully.
The twins quickly hopped up at the words, looking around suspiciously. Harry grinned at the wary teens, watching as realization crept into their expressions.
"Now that was rude," George said after a moment.
"That came way too naturally," Fred continued.
"Yeah yeah. Let's play with this thing."
"The ward stone is… a rock?" George asked in confusion as his eyes found the object.
"Original, isn't it? This isn't the actual ward stone, though, just its controls. Give me a second."
Harry picked the rock up with both hands, extending his senses carefully. He felt the protections on the magical object, most of which were in place to make it impossible for anyone but the Headmaster to operate. The emergency alarms and wards, however, seemed to be available to anyone with the knowledge of how to enact them.
"We've got alarms for dragons, trolls, vampires, dark wizards, extreme weather, approaching muggle armies… and nifflers? That can't be right, can it?"
"They're crafty buggers," Fred answered seriously. "Let's start with dragons. I always hoped for an attack."
"Not as fun as you'd think," Harry replied dryly. He allowed magic to infuse his hands, and pushed at the trigger for the dragon alarm.
A horrendous, clamoring alarm sounded immediately, forcing all three wizards to clamp their hands over their ears. The alarm died out briefly as a disembodied voice spoke loudly.
"All students and staff please move to the dungeons. Do not leave the building, lest you be eaten. I repeat…"
Harry, immediately weary of the noise, quickly picked up the rock once more. He used his magic to search for a way to localize the alarm, and found it after a long ten seconds. He pushed, and the room fell blessedly silent.
"Headmaster," George said with a wince. "If you could make sure that doesn't happen again, I promise to be on my best behavior."
"Yeah, that was… something," Harry agreed. "I think I can direct the alarms, though. It should still be going in the rest of the castle."
"Wicked," Fred countered with a grin. "How specific can we make it?"
"I think I can do single rooms," he answered, studying the object. "Obviously Umbridge's quarters are a must."
"Don't be so simple-minded, Harry," George countered quickly. "Set it off in whatever room Umbridge is in at all times. We can use the map."
"And let's not forget Filch's quarters," Fred added.
"And the Slytherin dorms."
"And Snape's quarters."
"And McLaggen's room."
"And Davies'."
"And Trelawney's."
"And…"
"Guys!" Harry interrupted loudly, laughing as the twins looked away from each other and back to him with sheepish grins. "I don't wanna mess with any students. Or teachers."
"Oh come onnnnn." they whined simultaneously.
"Fine. Umbridge, Filch, and Slytherin sixth and seventh years. Sound good?"
"Throw in McLaggen and a player to be named later, and you have yourself a deal."
"If you send Lee a message to tell his roommates to sleep in our beds, I can agree to that."
George immediately sent the message via Patronus and reached into his robes. He pulled out four large pieces of parchment, placing them on the desk.
"We nailed down the Defense corridor and the common areas," Fred explained, activating one of the new maps. "It took some major effort, but we've verified the accuracy the last couple days. We're working on four full copies, and should be done in a week or two now that we have some extra time on our hands."
"That's great," Harry replied brightly. The permanent doors to the Room cut down on the need for the maps, but he was glad the group would have an extra level of security. "Hand them out as the group comes to train, if you would. We can work on the complete copies when we have time, but I plan to keep pretty busy. Umbridge has enjoyed smooth sailing for too long."
"That's what we like to hear, Harry," George replied with an evil grin. "We have some ideas, but wanted to see if we could borrow Dobby."
At the sound of his name, the diminutive elf quickly appeared.
"Weasleys. Headmaster." Dobby nodded at the three, grinning at Harry as he did.
"Not just yet, buddy. The twins have a favor to ask." The elf quickly turned to look at the pair, excitement shining in his eyes.
"We don't want to take too much of your time," Fred began warmly. "But could you pop to the kitchens before meals for the next few days?"
"The other elves not liking Dobby being there," he answered, clearly upset by not being able to agree.
"Damn. We wanted to test some products on Umbridge."
"For the Toadmistress?" Dobby asked, his excitement returning. Harry couldn't restrain his laugh at the nickname. "Toppy hates her! He'll let Dobby help."
"Excellent!" the twins replied together.
Fred pulled a bag of wrapped candies from his robes, handing them to the elf.
"I'd like you to mix one of these into her meals each day. Can you make sure nobody else eats whatever it's mixed into?"
"I's ask Toppy, he can do it."
"Perfect! Just one per day, and switch up which meals. For example, if it's in her breakfast tomorrow, make it dinner the next day. Do you understand?"
"No problem!"
"You're the best, Dobby," Fred said in reply. The elf turned to Harry, a question in his eyes.
"That's all we needed for now, buddy," he answered the unasked question. "If I think of anything else, I'll be sure to call." Dobby disappeared with a grin.
"So we have the alarms and her food covered, anything else we can add to start?"
"We've been working on a few target specific wards," George offered with a grin. "If we can borrow the Cloak we can cast them on doorways at night."
"Perfect. Make sure you include her gang of thugs and Filch."
"Er… Harry?" Fred asked hesitantly. "Won't she be able to tell we're out in the castle? Some sort of book like Snape has?"
"How do you know about Snape's little book?"
Both twins scoffed and waved him away, looking offended at his question.
"Okay, how 'bout this," Harry tried again. "If such a book or artifact existed, where would it be kept?"
"In the Headmaster's office," Fred realized. "Which Dumbledore locked down before she could find."
"So if we stay out of sight, we can be out of the Room as often as we want," George added excitedly.
Harry smiled at the pair, hoping Albus would forgive him for the terror he was about to unleash.
"Go nuts, boys."
The command was met with an identical pair of very sinister grins.
—
November 27, 1995
The teens first full day as outlaws was highly successful. Harry took charge of the ward stone, and made sure to check the map every few minutes. Umbridge spent much of her Sunday rushing to windows that looked out over the grounds as he tripped various alarms. She hadn't yet figured out that the alerts were meant solely to disrupt her day, and Harry hoped it took a while until she did.
Sunday dinner in the great hall was evidently an entertaining affair, as Lee rushed into the Room during the scheduled meal to celebrate with the twins. Their candy had worked like a charm, and the woman wasn't able to make her exit before the bowel trouble began. Filch, who'd been entirely too supportive of his new boss, was instructed by McGonagall to clear up the mess, and his dot was still pacing the room when Harry checked the map. The students were released to their common rooms to escape the smell, and the elves sent their dinners to follow.
The target specific wards were going to be placed on the door to Umbridge's quarters tonight, and Harry hoped he'd be able to see them in action. The first time she crossed them her hair would change colors every few minutes for an hour, the second would cause her to break into rather itchy hives. The third, and any following, were Harry's favorite, as it would immediately send the woman into a deep sleep, only to be disturbed by incredibly vivid nightmares three minutes later. Between that and the alarms, Umbridge was going to be in desperate need of a nap by the end of the week.
Today was the first weekday since he'd been expelled, however, and Harry had plans to celebrate. The twins were planning on using the Room to train, and Harry wrote them a list of spells to work on and instructions on how to boost the level on the dummies.
"You sure you guys don't wanna come?" he asked the pair, surprised they didn't want to add their expertise.
"The first ambush is all yours, mate," George replied seriously.
"The amount of bullshit you've had to deal with this year has been ridiculous," Fred agreed. "You deserve first crack, and it sounds like we'd just be in the way."
"Fair enough! If I'm not back by lunch, assume I've staged a revolt or something."
Harry gave his friends a jaunty salute, and asked the room to create a doorway to the Defense office. He was intentionally early, wanting the chance to snoop through Umbridge's belongings before class began. He entered the disgustingly decorated office, closing the door behind him.
Harry's earlier Fidelius made the room a perfectly safe place from which to cause some mayhem, and he'd even have a free shot at some of the Slytherins that deserved extra attention. He pushed open the door to the Defense classroom, knowing it would remain unnoticeable to everyone, and began his search while he waited for the students to arrive.
He began with the large cabinet against a wall, rifling through it with abandon. Finding nothing but textbooks and school supplies, he moved on to the desk. He grabbed a framed photo of Fudge from its prominent place and threw it against the wall, smiling in satisfaction as it shattered. The first two drawers held nothing of interest, just some handwritten notes and a few personal effects. Opening the third drawer, however, he struck gold.
An ornate wooden box with a small lock and Umbridge's initials on top took up the entire storage space, and Harry quickly lifted it out, placing it on the desk. With a quick 'Alohomora,' the lock popped open, and he carefully lifted the lid. A row of ornate quills sat on a cushion within, and he could feel rancid magic pouring off of them. He grabbed his two-way mirror from his bag, calling for his godfather. The man's face quickly appeared.
"Harry, what's wrong? Something happen since last night?"
"Everything's fine, Pads," the teen said quickly. "I'm in Umbridge's old office, and just found something that's putting off some pretty wicked magic."
He turned the mirror to reveal the quills, hoping the man would know what they are.
"Let me grab Remus," Sirius replied after a moment, and the mirror went silent. He turned it back to himself, sitting down in the desk chair.
"Hey Harry," Remus greeted, entering the frame. "You okay?"
"I'm good, Moony. You ever seen quills like these?"
"Holy shit," answered the man, as soon as Harry turned the mirror. "Those look like Blood Quills."
"That's what I thought," Sirius added.
"That's a pleasant sounding name. They're pumping out a pretty evil feeling."
"Then I can almost guarantee they are. Where did you find them?"
"Umbridge's long lost office," he replied with a grin, turning the mirror around again. "Can I hope that ownership of the things is frowned upon?"
"They're highly regulated," Remus agreed. "Just possessing one comes with a misdemeanor. Using it on a minor would see her sent to Azkaban."
"Damn it. I should've agreed to write her fucking lines the first week."
"It may have helped remove her," Remus countered. "But they're nasty. They use the blood of the writer as ink, and if used repeatedly can even leave scars. I don't know anyone who uses them anymore, as other types of magical contracts are much more prevalent. They were originally designed for binding contracts."
"I guess you can't deliver them back to the bitch," Sirius mused. "Even someone as dumb as Umbridge wouldn't use them after that."
"Then we can only hope she has more, or requests some," Harry said thoughtfully. "If the twins hadn't left with me, I bet they could've pushed her in that direction."
"I'd say just keep an ear out," Remus advised. "And ask your friends to do the same. If she does find others to use, it'll be the final nail. The only places I know of that still have a supply are the Ministry and Gringotts."
"I'll get everyone to listen out," he promised. He heard a few students arriving early, and decided to get back to his original plan. "Showtime, gotta go."
"Good luck, kiddo. Let us know how it goes."
"I will. Bye guys."
Harry ended the connection, stuffing the mirror and the case of quills into his bag. He hoped they might have finally found a way to end this that didn't include unnecessary violence, and took a moment to clear his mind before approaching the open door.
The only students that would dare to be early to this class were Umbridge's sycophants, and sure enough, most of Slytherin was already mingling. Harry stood openly in the doorway, knowing he wouldn't be noticed. He watched as a newly-healed Draco walked over to Ron and Hermione's normal seats, casting a spell on both too quietly for him to hear. The boy wasn't subtle enough, though, as he spoke at normal volume to his cronies.
"I'll get them while we're reading. Their reaction should be enough for a detention for the mudblood and moron."
Harry rolled his eyes and cast a quick switching spell on the two seats, replacing them with Draco's and Nott's. He appreciated Malfoy adding to the coming chaos, but was a bit dumbfounded by just how immature the idiot could be. The Slytherins quickly took their seats as other students arrived, and Harry waved dramatically at his two best friends, grinning at the absurdity of the unseen action.
Blaise entered a few seconds before the bell, quickly followed by Tracey and Daphne. Harry couldn't help the smile that grew on his face at the sight of the girl. She was gorgeous, and somehow she was interested in him. He thanked his lucky stars, but tried not to stare. He felt a bit like a voyeur already, and didn't like the idea of mooning over the girl when she couldn't see him.
Umbridge entered just as the bell rang, looking like she hadn't slept in a while. Harry was glad to see the alarms were serving their purpose, as he even made sure to wake himself up periodically throughout the last two nights to readjust them to wherever the woman escaped to.
As she walked towards the front of the class, Harry hit her with a tripping jinx, sending her tumbling to the floor. The spell wasn't invisible, and he had planned to keep his magic as subtle as possible, but after finding the quills, he found he just didn't care as much. Even if someone tracked where the spells were coming from, they'd only find an empty stretch of wall.
The obnoxious witch collected herself, standing with as much dignity as she could. Her eyes quickly scanned the students for any drawn wands, finding none. She seemed to accept the fall was a result of her exhaustion and continued towards her desk.
"Hem hem." Umbridge cleared her throat annoyingly before smiling at the students. "I'm sorry class, I've been feeling a bit under the weather."
Seamus raised his hand and was quickly acknowledged.
"Professor," he began, faking anxiousness. "Has the reason for all the alarms over the weekend been taken care of?"
"I've seen to the problem, Mr. Finnegan. The castle remains safe."
Not able to resist the temptation, Harry quickly dug the ward stone from his bag. He searched for a specific alarm with his magic, activating it for the briefest of seconds. A blaring claxon briefly sounded in the classroom, forcing the occupants to jump from their seats. When the alarm didn't sound again, they gradually collected themselves, his training group looking much less confused than the rest of the students.
Harry's heart swelled as he saw Daphne cover a smile with her hand. She clearly approved of his methods, and the thought made him want to dance. To celebrate, he focused his magic on the seats under the two Slytherins, activating whatever hex Draco had cast. The two quickly jumped to their feet with matching yelps.
"Boys!" Umbridge exclaimed in worry. "Whatever is the matter?"
"I'm not sure ma'am," Draco replied, flushing slightly as he rubbed his rear in pain. "Some sort of hex on my chair I think."
"Probably a parting gift from those disgraceful Weasleys," she responded nastily.
Harry watched as Ron reddened in anger, but he saw Hermione's right arm shift, and the redhead's face cleared slightly. He guessed she had grabbed her boyfriend's hand to calm him, and was pleased it worked. He may feign disgust at his friends' rare displays of affection, but he was truly happy for them.
"This school will be a much happier place," Umbridge continued. "Now that the three most hateful among you are gone. I expect we may have to endure a few pranks committed while I was indisposed after Potter's expulsion, but they will eventually end. You are all much better off."
Most of the class appeared to disagree, and Harry noticed Daphne's eyes looked dangerous. He hoped the woman would move on to the lesson, as he didn't want the girl to do something that would result in her suspension, knowing she'd already dodged a bullet Saturday evening. The toad, however, didn't do as he wished.
"I don't know how the school allowed their behavior this long! Especially Potter. Your year has been dramatically hindered by his presence, and you all have my sympathy for how dreadfully far behind you are. That boy has delusions of grandeur, and the emotional aptitude of a young child. I suggest any of you that call him a friend use this opportunity to distance yourselves. He will only cause you misfortune as you reach adulthood."
Harry saw the Gryffindors and three friendly Slytherins all looked ready to argue, while the remaining handful were overjoyed. Harry acted quickly, unwilling to let any of his friends suffer on his behalf. He quickly unscrewed the bolts on the dragon skeleton that hung from the rafters with a spell, allowing it to fall with a crash behind the lecturing witch.
The class flinched at the destruction, while Umbridge jumped to her feet once more, covered in dust from the bones. He scanned the classroom, and realized Daphne was still fuming. He concentrated on her favorite flower, and quickly conjured a beautiful blue dahlia. He disillusioned the plant, and levitated it to the girl as swiftly as he could. When it reached her desk, he canceled his spells.
The change in Daphne's expression made Harry laugh out loud. She went from furious to blushing in a split second, her eyes scanning the room for signs of him. She quickly tucked the flower away, but Tracey, sitting next to her, noticed it before she could. The two shared a happy smile before turning back to a still distracted Umbridge.
"Well I never," the witch said loudly, clutching her chest while turning back to her class. "Further evidence that this school has been in desperate need of change. Everyone settle down, please. You'll be reading chapter sixteen in your textbooks today. I expect no further interru…"
Harry cut off her words with a banishing charm, her chair flying out from underneath her and crashing into the wall. The witch hit the ground with a loud 'thud', and her face quickly turned red.
"PEEVES!" she screamed as she raged to her feet. "Show yourself, now!"
Harry couldn't help but laugh at her assumption, but the laughter was cut short by a light tap on his shoulder. He turned and was met with the sight of the named poltergeist, floating upside down directly in front of him. Peeves winked at him dramatically before disappearing, and Harry turned again as he heard the sound of another bolt unscrewing in the classroom behind.
The poltergeist sat upon the iron chandelier hanging directly above Umbridge, unscrewing it efficiently. In her distraction, the angry woman didn't hear the noise, and Harry grinned as the fixture lost its fight with gravity. The ornate object fell with a crash, the rim encircling the toad as it smashed into the ground.
The woman's only reaction was a hard flinch, as she seemed incapable of speech. The fixture's top joint rested inches above the short witch's head, and Harry couldn't help but wish she was just a bit taller. He joined in on Peeves' fun, quickly forcing the candles in the rim to flare up dramatically.
The witch disappeared from the view of the class, and he took the chance to hit her with a few spells. He decided a bit of subtlety would be for the best, as he didn't want any of his friends blamed for his spells. He settled for an overpowered ear-ringing hex that would last for weeks and a small attraction charm on her feet, ensuring she would stub her toes at any opportunity. His final spell was a selective memory charm with a subtle compulsion added. From this point forward, anytime she tried to say his name it would come out as 'Potter, World's Best Seeker', and the vile woman would never hear the difference.
After a moment he added insult to the woman's already numerous injuries, and reached for the ward stone, activating every alarm at once. The cacophony seemed to break the struggling woman from her stupor, as she pulled her wand to extinguish the flames around her. She stormed through the smoldering candles and rushed towards the exit, intent on investigating the alarms.
"Class is canceled!" she called frantically over her shoulder, yelping as she stubbed her toe on a nearby table. "Read the chapter for homework!"
As she cleared the doorway, Harry moved the alarm away from the classroom and into the hallway. The students removed their hands from their ears, and the members of the Inquisitorial Squad quickly followed their leader. Harry lightly summoned Draco backwards, sending him stumbling into those that followed, and laughed at their confusion as they scrambled to regain their feet.
Parvati and Lavender eventually followed the Squad, chatting happily about their shortened period. All that remained were the members of his training group, and they looked around at each other in disbelief. Neville was the first to break, laughing uproariously. It appeared contagious, as the others quickly joined in. Even Hermione, though scandalized by the damage to the room, eventually lost her battle against her giggles.
Harry cast a quick set of privacy wards around the room, not willing to trust it wasn't bugged, and knowing Hermione would soon be yelling.
"Harry James Potter!" The girl proved him right. "Show yourself, this instant!"
Harry poked his head through the edge of the Fidelius, adopting an innocent expression.
"It was Peeves!"
"Get your ass over here!"
"Language," he scolded before fully exiting the ward. He moved to his laughing friends, unable to hide his grin. "Hey guys."
"Did you have to destroy the classroom?" Hermione asked, trying and failing to be serious.
"Hey, the chandelier actually was Peeves."
"Peevesy only followed your lead, Lord Potter-geist." Peeves countered seriously, appearing to Harry's left.
"It was perfect," he congratulated with a laugh. "Well done."
"Glad to be of service," he replied, bowing dramatically. "The war has begun!"
"War?" Ron asked confusedly.
"With ugly-ugly-Umbridge! I thought I was fighting alone, but Peeves and Potter together at last!"
"I hoped you might be interested," Harry said with a grin. "Head up to the Come and Go room. Your favorite students have some gifts for you."
"The TWINS!?" he screeched, fainting dramatically in mid-air. He quickly revived himself before zooming towards the door.
Harry raised his wand, and cast a quick burst of magic. Peeves immediately turned solid, and fell to the floor with a 'thud'. The little guy slowly stood, turning back to Harry with a terrified look on his face.
"Peeves, you'll tell no one that isn't in this room, or that you meet in the Come and Go room, anything about what we're doing," he said seriously, allowing his power to show. "I won't be betrayed, and if you do so you'll spend the rest of your existence as a three foot tall, completely non-magical being. Do you understand?"
The shocked poltergeist nodded dramatically, a fearful look in his eyes. Harry took pity on him, removing the spell Albus had taught him before he was fired.
"I'm glad, my friend. Go get ready to cause some chaos!"
Peeves jumped into the air with an exaggerated salute, his excitement returning immediately as he continued his zoom out of the classroom.
"What the hell, Potter-geist?" Tracey asked as he turned back to his friends.
"What? I've been meaning to recruit him!"
"This school doesn't stand a chance," Neville muttered with a chuckle, the others quickly joining in on his amusement.
"It never did, Nev," Harry countered with a grin. "You guys need to scatter, the toad will be back soon."
"Mate," Ron said happily, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Feel free to drop in during class anytime."
"I'll do my best," he promised with a laugh, pushing his friend towards the door.
The group gathered their things and after some smiles and handshakes for Harry, began to exit the classroom. Daphne, however, hadn't moved a muscle. She stood still as a statue, a smirk on her face, as the rest of their friends left the room.
When the door closed behind Blaise, she sprung into action, jumping into Harry's arms.
"Thank you for my flower," she said softly into his ear.
"That must have been Peeves," he countered as he placed her gently back on her feet. She swatted him immediately.
"It was you, Harold, and it's lovely," she argued, pulling the flower from her bag. "Knowing you were here saved me a suspension, but it made my aloofness impossible. Scowling is difficult when you're around, and it's annoying."
"Not sorry," Harry replied with a laugh. "If it makes you feel any better, I had to tell myself to quit staring at you far too many times during the excitement. I felt like a weirdo."
"You can always watch me, Harry," Daphne countered with a smirk. Harry's face immediately flushed at the idea, drawing a beautiful laugh from the girl. "You're too easy."
"It's not fair," Harry complained after a moment, plucking the flower from Daphne's hand. "I can stare down the Wizengamot and poltergeists. But one comment from you has me blushing like a sunset."
Harry tucked the flower behind Daphne's ear, leaning forward to kiss her lightly on the forehead as he did. He realized he may have the same power over her, and smirked at her reddening face.
"Don't start," she warned, regaining the use of her expression. "You… just…"
Instead of finding the words, she reached up to hug him again, and Harry relished the moment. As she pulled back, he grabbed her hands.
"Will you visit?" he asked hopefully.
"As soon as I'm done with dinner."
"I can't wait. You go do your 'evil Slytherin' thing, and I'll go wallow in misery until you're done."
Daphne reluctantly pulled away, collected her things, and headed towards the door. She stopped shy of the exit, turning to Harry with a frustrated roll of her eyes.
"I think my 'evil Slytherin' thing is officially broken," she admitted with a huff.
"I'm sure Draco's missing you," he offered helpfully.
Harry grinned as determination filled her eyes, her expression turning cold as she turned and left.
A/N: I'm aware that Canon-Umbridge invented Blood Quills, but I've decided to ignore that fact, as I HATE it. I'm going with the fanfic version of the quills since it feels a bit more real to me. For anyone that lives with tinnitus, you'll understand why a month of it before getting used to the sound is the worst prank of the chapter.
I've officially rewritten the chapters that needed work, and I'm halfway through 36. Still going steadily, if not as quickly as I was when I started. Should be able to update regularly!
-Ryan