Mario and Rosalina were getting married after she broke the good news of her pregnancy. Both were overjoyed since that meant they wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Invitations were quickly sent to all of their friends and loved ones. Not only were Ros's Lumas in attendance, but also Mario's slightly younger bro, Luigi came. Plus, mom, dad, and grandpa were all happy for Mario and delighted to meet Rosalina, who was also happy to see them. Tony came too. Arthur, along with his wife Marie and their daughter who was also a niece to the Mario Bros., Gia.

Also coming to the wedding: Daisy, Pauline, Yoshi, Birdo, Wario, Waluigi, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Toad, Toadette, Toadsworth, the Kong relatives from the Jungle Kingdom, and the WarioWare employees from Diamond City. All of them were happy for Mario and Rosalina. Everyone was... Well, almost everyone.

Someone was pissed, someone who hated the very thought of Mario being happy so badly that they would go out of their way, literally take time out of their day and cancel all previous obligations to keep him miserable after the Honeylune Ridge disaster. Princess Peach was that instigator, she was branded as more likely to commit such a crime than Bowser was, considering she gave him the cold shoulder.

On the way home from the Moon Kingdom, she was frustrated with the ordeal involving Mario quarrelling with Bowser. She grabbed him by his neck in a threatening manner and dragging him inside the ship as she growled, "You're going to be lectured for what you did."

Even when Mario desperately apologized for what happened, she didn't stop screaming inconsiderate and unkind words, causing him intense emotional pain, but she downright refused to apologize. Her rotten insults mostly involved dumping Mario and Bowser being left in the middle of the ocean, hurled into the sun, and having their testicles shot off with a rifle while snarling, "Consider yourself lucky we're still friends."

Worse, she even wished all boys would just die.

On one hand, it's understandable to be frustrated with someone's actions. However, if you refuse to do anything other than inflict disproportionate punishments like no more cake and other things that make them want to cut ties with you as a result, good luck unburning those bridges because chances are it's already too late.

The blind rage resulted in Mario making the decision to cut ties with her forever. His heart became two frozen, black, teardrop-shaped slabs of hate. He was even angrier as he bluntly declared his intentions to leave the Mushroom Kingdom and never come back, but Peach demanded he stay, not because she was apologetic, but because she insisted that he was her property. Mario simply scared her away with a knife and hurt her with bitterer attacks like telling her to lose everything and that she would never be his friend.

His broken heart slowly healed as he spent his days doing nothing but relaxing in the Seaside Kingdom. When Rosalina paid him a surprise visit, The healing came full circle when Rosalina agreed to marry Mario after her pregnancy was confirmed.

When Peach found out about Mario and Rosalina getting married, she had basically lost her mind. Maybe jealously would be involved, but Peach didn't want Mario back. In her mind, she believed he didn't deserve happiness, she wanted him to be sad and lonely forever following the arguments had after the moon rescue mission, viewing his attempts to be free of eternal suffering as a betrayal against her and women in general. Only bitterness and hate played part in her attempt to stop the wedding, stomping her way to the church.

Again, her attitude is not because she wasn't on the altar, it was because Mario was, and her determination to render his heartbreak unfixable was certainly alarming to a lot of her friends.

The wedding took place on earth instead of Honeylune Ridge. This was because Mario didn't want to leave the planet ever again after Peach almost left him to die and acted like letting him come home with her was a huge mistake. To be exact, the location was in Bubblaine. As far as refreshments went, the Frost-Frosted Cake and Stupendous Stew were served along with Italian sparkling waters and cannolis.

Mario wore the same ensemble as last time, white tuxedo with matching pants, white top hat, white shoes, red bowtie, and the red M on his hat. Luigi wore bascially the same thing, but with a green L where the red M was supposed to be and a green bowtie. All the male family members and guests wore tuxedos and top hats that looked like Mario's, though without the first letters of their first names. Dad's bowtie was brown, Tony's was blue, Arthur's was yellow, and grandpa's was plaid. All the female family members and guests had Lochlady dresses and veils, courtesy of the Lochladies that tailored to fit all of them.

It took a month, but the big day was finally underway... or rather it would be if everyone made it on time. The wedding hall was empty, and Mario and Rosalina were getting worried. Opening the doors to the wedding hall, Mario called, "Luigi?"

Rosalina called, "Daisy? Pauline? Toad? Yoshi?"

"Mom? Dad? Tony? Arthur?"

Horrified, Ros screamed, alerting the groom, "Rosalina, what happened?!"

The bride showed Mario an envelope that she opened, it was addressed to Mario and Rosalina. Inside was a piece of paper, the handwriting seemed familiar as Mario read it.

To Mario aka "Women's Rights Hater",

I merely scold and punish you for behaving a chauvinistic pig, and this is how you repay me?! By trying to kill me?! Good to know! Fuck you! You're nothing more than a brat than runs away just because they were grounded for good reasons by their angry and disappointed parents! Yours have clearly screwed up very, VERY badly for you end up the way you are now! Was there ever a time when your parents were willing to punish you with a firm hand?! Clearly, the answer is no! At least Rosalina has an excuse to be a fucking enabler since her parents died. You could have settled for just being friends with me, but NOOOOO, you had to baww to Rosalina like a baby. It's clear that bitch said yes to marriage because she is too stupid and naive to know any better!

Saying you deserve to be happy is like saying a murderer deserves to be happy. It's like saying a sexual deviant should get a medal or saying a pedophile should get a civic award! Saying you're a hero is like saying villains are heroes, saying I'm a villain is like saying heroes are villains! What are you trying to do is make the bad good and the good bad!

God, Bowser should have kidnapped you instead! Then I could enact a law where you would never be allowed to leave Bowser's Castle and be held prisoner forever! You should have been stranded and jailed in Isle Delfino forever back when you were accused of vandalism!

On the bright side, here's my gift to you: demands for you to cancel your wedding. I have your brother, I have your family, I have all your friends and your friends' friends. Do you value their lives so much that you would cancel the wedding if someone threatened to kill them all?! Compared to your intentions, mine are pure! Think about if you're really ok with losing everything and everybody else just so you could get some pussy!

Sincerely,

Peach

All of the letter was infuriating from start to finish. It looked something a total Karen would write, but the last paragraph was especially despicable as Mario angrily ripped up the letter, "Goddammit! This is low, even for Toadstool!"

Tears welled up in Rosalina's eyes, "I can't believe Peach would do this do this to us."

"I can. She literally wants me to always lose and never win."

What happened was Peach stole Bowser's flying castle and abducted all the wedding guests. Mom, dad, Tony, Arthur, Marie, Gia, grandpa, Daisy, Toad, Toadette, Toadsworth, Pauline, Yoshi, Birdo, DK, Diddy, Dixie, Funky, Tiny, Lanky, Cranky, Candy, Wario, Waluigi, Jimmy T., Mona, 9-Volt, Kat, Ana, Dribble, Spitz, Dr. Crygor, Orbulon, 18-Volt, Ashley, Red, Mike, Penny, Young Cricket, Master Mantis, 5-Volt, Lulu, 13-Amp, and Pyoro were all captured, individually caged, and contained in a tunnel that led down and birdcages hanging over a large lava pit! Luigi was contained somewhere as he panicked and wondered, "Where am I?"

Suddenly, a glaring Peach stood before him, making Luigi lament and groan in annoyance, "Peach?! What kind of friend are you?!"

"A good friend. I'm saving all of you from Mario."

"What would your friends and subjects think of this new low? What if anyone in your castle sees this?!"

"If they hate it, they can all eat shit! This is for a noble cause!"

""Noble cause"?! I- Oh, good lord."

"Face it: Mario is Bowser to a tee and vice versa. I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of pain in my ass, which them both identical."

"What?! No! If Mario was anything like Bowser, he would have forced marriage on you again and again. He knew when to quit."

"He was supposed to quit asking for everyone's hand in marriage, but now it's time for drastic measures. Get your phone."

"Why?"

"Call your brother. It's ransom time."

Mario and Rosalina called 911 and had them search Peach's Castle for the hostages, but they couldn't find a thing. Rosalina pondered, "If Luigi and the others aren't here, where else could they be?"

That was when Mario's phone rang and vibrated, he saw Luigi being the caller and sighed in relief and he answered, "Luigi? Are you ok? Let me guess, Peach kidnapped you and the rest."

Luigi whimpered as he put Mario on speaker, "She did."

Peach said, "Now see here, fucknugget! I want proof that the marriage is not happening! Deliver the evidence to the Dark Lands where Bowser's castle is floating, GOT IT?! You have 6 hours, OR YOU WILL NEVER SEE ANY OF YOUR OTHER FRIENDS OR LOVED ONES AGAIN!"

*HANG UP*

Toadstool hissed, "We'll see if Mario still wants to be a cocky, arrogant womanizer when he watches me KILL HIS BROTHER!"

Luigi screamed as his birdcage was dropped down to the where the others were held against their will. A TV screen appeared with Peach announcing, "Attention, vermin. You are here because a certain man in red must never win again. Either Mario and Rosalina cancel their wedding, OR EVERYONE GETS ELIMINATED FROM EXISTANCE! You have 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 45 seconds before all of you go bye-bye. That is all."

The screen turned off, and everyone freaked out.

Seeing how unrelenting Peach was, Mario sat down on a bench and facepalmed as he wondered, "What are we going to do?"

Rosalina's eyes widened, "I think I may have a plan."

"I'm listening."

What Ros whispered in Mario's ear seemed like a really good plan because he smiled with amazement, "That actually sounds like a genius idea."

"Thanks. Now let's hurry, our friends' lives depend on us."

Five hours later, Mario and Rosalina trekked to the Dark Lands, where Bowser's Castle was. They climbed up the chain and knocked on the front door, getting an answer from Peach, "What, Rosalina?"

Sadly, Rosalina sighed with a folded piece of paper in her hands, "I... have proof. Proof that the wedding's off."

Peach smirked, "A wise decision, Ros. You're better off without Mario."

"Just free the others."

"Come in and we'll do it together."

The doors opened and Peach asked, "May I?"

The princess plucked the paper from the other blonde and chuckled, "At last, people are listening to the woman that gets no respect."

However, when Toadstool unfolded the paper, it read, "Nice try!"

Peach was shocked, "WHAT THE?!"

Mario tackled and pinned down his ex, who growled, "Goddammit! Traitors!"

Then Mario said, "Hurry, Rosalina! Free the hostages!"

Rosalina rushed to the cages, but then something unsettling caught her eye. The timer showed only 3 minutes and 2 seconds, meaning the climb up to the castle was more time-consuming than anticipated. Trying not to panic, the space princess announced to the abducted, "Fear not, everyone! I'm here to rescue you all!"

Everyone cheered as Rosalina used her magic wand. Sparkles appeared everywhere, lifting up the cages to safety and then unlocking them all at once. One by one, everybody thanked Rosalina with handshake of gratitude.

Still held down, Peach noticed everyone she kidnapped running away, making her scream, "NO!"

Mario yelled to the group, "Get out, everyone! I'll keep her from coming after you!"

Luigi and the rest of the family hugged Mario, the little bro saying, "Thanks, Mario."

"Don't thank me yet, Luigi! Let's get out of her-"

Peach surprised Mario by kicking him in the crotch and then putting him in a chokehold with her left arm, "Gotcha, shitbag!"

With her ex in her clutches, Peach warned the group as she backed away to the lava pit where cages were hung, "Don't move a muscle unless you all think Mario's lived long enough!"

Everyone said, "We don't! None of us do!"

"Too bad! If anything, he's lived too long. Same with Bowser. They're not so different after all."

Choking, Mario shot back, "Again, if... I was like him, I *gasp* wouldn't leave you alone like I did for the last several months. ACK!"

"SHUT UP! I WANT THE WEDDING CANCELLED! NOW!"

Mom scolded, "Ugh, no self-awareness whatsoever. Ever think about how you abducting us all makes you the very thing you hate?!"

A look of surprise slowly surfaced on Peach's face as Luigi reasoned, "We get it. He made a mistake, but he can only fix the problem if you let him."

Dad reprimanded, "The fact that you insisted on being stubborn makes Mario more in the right to leave you. We don't associate with toxic things."

Rosalina contributed to urging Peach to reconsider as the blonde's face slowly looked remorseful, "Mario had made it vow to never repeat the same mistake. He's not a chauvinist, he's just a little impulsive at times, but you should let one little flaw mark and generalize him for life."

Lu added, "Everyone just wants to love and be loved by someone. Marriage isn't a loss of your rights or a transition to a submissive puppet, it's two people just wanting to not be alone."

Ros finished with, "It's possible to be strong and independent while still having a partner for you to support and have support you. Trust me. It's for the best if you just let Mario go, he just wants to be happy. I want to be happy too."

Tears in her eyes, Peach looked at Rosalina, saying as heartwarming music was swelling, "Rosalina? Are you and everyone else really telling me... *glares* that you have no intention of listening to me?!"

Yikes. If there was heartwarming music, it would abruptly stop and maybe be followed by a record scratch. Peach ranted at the other princess, "I'm no one's puppet, too bad I can't say the same for you! Why can't any of you applaud Disney and Marvel for having the right idea by destroying boys by killing and humiliating them?"

Tony grumbled, "Oh, god. She's one of those people."

Arthur and Marie commanded, "Put Mario down!"

Peach smirked, "If you insist."

The reason she was willing to was because she threw Mario into the lava pit, much to everyone else's horror. Rosalina tried to rush after him, but the no-longer-sweet princess wrestled with Ros and snatched her wand, but Rosalina grabbed it back, rushed to the lava pit, and pointed her wand at Mario, who stopped while less than an inch from certain death. He was carried back up by Ros's magic.

Once Mario was back on safe territory, Rosalina hugged him and the rest of Mario's family joined in while the pink princess howled in rage and anguish, devasted that her plans have failed as she sunk to her hands and knees, "HOW CAN MY LIFE GET ANY WORSE?!"

"I know!"

Toadsworth said that, he came back as the princess mumbled, "Oh, god. Please don't fire and banish me."

With a Mini Mushroom in hand, the elderly Toad quipped, "Is it better than the alternative, which is this?"

Seeing the Mini Mushroom made Peach panic, "No! Not that! Anything but th-"

Too late. Toadsworth force-fed Toadstool the blue mushroom, shrinking her down to size as she squeaked, "Hey! Hey! That is not cool!"

Then Toadsworth put Peach in a jar and closed the lid tight as he carried her away, Peach screamed, "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, MARIO! I'LL GET YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TOO!"

Hours later, the wedding was officially starting. Mario began his vows. "Rosalina, I hope to never repeat the drama that destroyed my relationship with you-know-who. I don't want to anger you and make you want to freak out with insults and death threats. I love you, I love Lu and mom and dad and all my other relatives and buddies. Hell, even Wario and Waluigi are tolerable compared to the heartbreaker whose name I never want to say again."

Rosalina said, "Mario, I don't want awkward tension either, not any more than you do. My vow is to keep my temper under control and never break your heart. If I have a problem, I'll be calm about it. There's good in everyone, and everybody can learn from their mistakes. I love you too, and I want things to be stable between us."

All the guests said with the Lumas being the most overjoyed, "Aww..."

After kissing Ros, Mario looked to the Lumas, cheering as he held his arms open wide, "Call me daddy!"

With that, the Lumas eagerly flew to their new father, crying, "Daddy!"

Peach was brooding in the dark, "Mario, Luigi, and their family too. I'm gonna bring death and destruction to all of you! It's the end of the line, the world will be-"

Toadsworth turned the lights on, scolding a tiny Peach inside a birdcage contained in a room inside the Mushroom Kingdom castle, "Hey! Quiet in there! Lights out, young lady!"

Toadsworth banged the birdcage with his cane, making Peach complain, "HEY! YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I AM-"

*slam*

*sigh*