Chapter 2: Bluebell

As soon as Marie had made it back to her trailer, she slammed the door shut, gathered plywood and nails, and bolted the whole thing shut, all in a matter of seconds. Her face was still burning and she could still hear the laughter of both the Eds and her sisters in her head, still feel it rattling within her bones. Simple humiliation could not even begin to describe what Marie was feeling. She was beyond mortified.

"What the hell's going on with me!? First, that weird-ass dream and then those flowers! Where the hell did they even come from?" Marie felt another itching sensation in her throat and panicked. "Oh no! Not again! I'm not going through this again!" Marie rushed to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. The kitchen sink's only offering was lukewarm brownish water but that was of little importance to the blue-haired Kanker. She'd swallow mercury if it meant she could force whatever was clogging her throat back down. "This better work!" She said to no one in particular as she swallowed the water in one gulp. It tasted like liquid rust but again, this was of no consequence. All that mattered was that it forced these dammed petals to the pit of her stomach and let the acid have at them.

But hey, there wouldn't be much of a story if that was the case, right?

It seemed to work at first as she felt the petals get dragged down with the water and she sighed in relief. "Thank God!" Then, without warning, her gag reflex kicked in and the petals shot all the way to the back of her mouth. She had to slap her hands over her mouth to keep from hacking them up right then and there. "Thanks for nothing!" Marie filled up her glass again and attempted to take a drink. A single violent cough shook her whole body, causing the water to spill all over her. After fighting the urge to scream like a mad woman, she tried again. Just as she pressed the rim of the glass against her lips, she coughed again, splashing the liquid on her face. She could feel more coughs coming on and dropped the glass as she fought to keep them inside, She was too focused on the tightening of her throat to even hear the glass shatter against the kitchen floor. Her insides burned and her eyes watered. She felt as if she was going to explode. She fell to her knees and, with a silent sense of relief that no one was there to see her this time, released the entrapped petals through a brutal, painful coughing fit.

It didn't last as long as before and for that Marie was grateful. This didn't do much to lessen the pain, however, and once it finally ended, Marie was almost certain that she could taste blood in her mouth. She licked around the inside of her mouth and wiped her tongue with her fingers to check. To her surprise, there wasn't any blood and she assumed that the feeling was coming from her ragged throat. She felt lightheaded and sat down on a nearby chair while gripping her forehead. It felt cold and clammy from her sweat and she unconsciously pushed her bangs away from her eye. It was then that she noticed something about the petals that now littered the kitchen floor.

They were blue. Blue and oval-shaped, unlike the pink petals from before.

Groaning, she picked one up and held it up close to her face, turning the little petal around and around so as to get a better look at it It was pretty if you cared about that kind of thing, which right now, Marie decided she didn't and flicked the petal away. She felt more movement in her throat and realized with horror that there were still more petals to come. Before she could utter a barrage of expletives, she heard a loud pounding from the front door.

"Hey Marie! Let us in, will ya!?" Lee demanded.

"Yeah! Let us in!" May added. From the sound of straining in her voice, Marie could tell she was trying to pull the door open.

"Go away!" Marie shouted, although her voice came out smaller than what she intended. A small blue petal fell from her jaws and upon seeing it, she blushed and clamped her hands around her mouth. "What the heck is wrong with me?" She thought fretfully.

"Alright...3...2...1!" The front door and all blockage on it exploded from the doorway as May's head rushed through. The bucktoothed blonde bore a large hematoma on her scalp and her eyes were spinning. Having no more use for her, Lee chucked May to the side and stomped into the kitchen. "Didn't Mom tell ya no more locking the door on your sisters!?"

"Didn't Mom ever tell you to keep your piehole shut when your sister's coughing up flowers!?" Marie shouted back.

"...No. No she hasn't." Lee replied.

Marie's lips trembled as she struggled to find a rebuttal. "Well, that!" Marie groaned again and slammed her face on the table. "I'm sick!"

"Yeah. We know that, numbskull." Lee replied. "The only question is with what?"

"Maybe those petals flew in from the window and Marie swallowed them in her sleep." May suggested as she wobbled into the kitchen, her head still spinning. "I heard people swallow up to seven flowers in their sleep every year!"

"That's spiders, you dolt!" Lee contested as she grabbed May's cheeks and flung her out the window. "Ah who cares what it is! We need to do something about it right now! A Kanker coughing flower petals just ain't right!"

"Please shut up," Marie begged, her face still planted firmly on the table.

May's injured, shaky hand rose up from outside the kitchen window. "Let's try some of Mom's home remedies!"

"Please no," Marie argued weakly, Alas, it was of no use as Lee was already gathering the ingredients needed to make their mother's not exactly-famous-but-should-be Lemon Chicken Soup. "Mom's soup is perfect for getting rid of colds," Lee said coolly as she turned on the stove.

"And molds!" May chimed in as she reentered the kitchen.

"But that's only if it's ten days old!" Marie muttered.

"Both of ya shut up! I'm working over here!" Lee had just finished slathering peanut butter on a stalk of celery which she then chopped into little pieces and tossed in the boiling water. She took a large turnip and shoved it into May's chest along with a cheese grater. "Make yourself useful and add the garnish!"

"Yeah yeah!" May snatched the turnip and chees grater and went to work seasoning the soup while Lee diced the chicken. Once that was done, she cut a lemon in half and squeezed half of it over the cubed poultry. Unfortunately, she was holding the lemon with the open end slightly tilted toward her blonde sister and so when she squeezed, she sent the juice intended for the dish into May's eyes instead.

The blonde screamed in agony and fell on her back, dropping both the turnip and the grater inside the soup. Ignoring her sister's pained groans, Lee grabbed a ladle and tasted the boiling hot broth. "Eh, good enough." She squeezed the lemon juice over the diced chicken and unceremoniously dumped it into the broth. Then she slammed the lid down on the pot and shook it well while walking toward Marie whose face was still glued to the table. "Supper time!"

"I'm not hungry," Marie muttered. Lee stomped on her foot, causing the flower-puking Kanker to scream. Lee wasted no time opening the pot and shoving the entire thing in Marie's mouth. The unholy mess of chicken, lemon, and assorted plant matter drained down Marie's esophagus as she writhed and wiggled. Around this time, May had recovered from her little accident and stood beside Lee as she pulled yanked the pot away from Marie's mouth, a line of saliva coated around the rim. "Well," She asked. "Feeling better?"

Marie forced herself to swallow what was left of the horrid excuse for soup and gagged. Smacking her lips a couple of times, she realized she could breathe a little easier and swallowed. There was no blockage in her throat anymore. The soup had washed it away. "Hey! I think it actually worked! I feel-

Then her stomach cramped and she bent over clutching it. She could feel something coming up and she wasn't sure if it was the petals or the soup but either way, there was no time to run to the bathroom. She erupted into another coughing fit and another cloud of little blue petals came pouring out. Lee and May screamed and held each other as they jumped back from the petals.

"Hey! Watch where your hacking huh?" Lee hissed. "What if they're contagious?"

"Look Lee," May pointed at the petals, "They're a different color from last time!"

"Huh." Lee took a look for herself. "So they are."

"Yeah yeah! Big freaking whoop!" Marie growled. "Your stupid soup didn't work Lee!"

"I knew I should have added the mustard," Lee said as she snapped her fingers. Then she rubbed her chin in thought. "Hmm. What to do? What to do?"

"Oh I know! How about a pepper bath!? That always helps clear my sinuses!" May suggested.

Marie stiffened at the mere mention of a pepper bath. "No way in Hell I'm doing that!"

"May, go get the water ready," Lee commanded. Both she and Marie watched as the blonde Kanker rushed to the bathroom before turning to each other. "Now Marie, we can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"I'm not getting in that bath and that's final!" Marie crossed her arms in a huff and turned away from her sister. She became unsettled when she heard Lee giggle.

"I was hoping you'd go for the hard way." She sneered.

What followed was a huge, destructive struggle between the two Kankers. Lee had to wrestle Marie into submission and then carry her to the bathroom, all while she kicked and squirmed. As they walked, Lee removed one article of clothing from the protesting Marie after the other, finishing up right as they entered the bathroom. May was waiting beside the bubbling tub, black specks visible in the foam.

"Bon Voyage!" Lee shouted as she tossed her undressed sister into the bath. The resulting splash drenched the entire bathroom as well as the two other Kankers. The bath water was now free of foam, with only a couple of bubbles popping up on the surface. After a few moments, the bubbles stopped and Marie's head emerged from the water.

"Well, anything?" Lee asked.

Marie swallowed again, feeling no blockage in her throat. Despite this, she knew better than to feel hopeful, given what happened with her soup and soon enough, her fears were founded. Marie coughed up yet another coralla's worth of blue petals which littered the water.

"Shoot!" Lee snapped her fingers again. "I thought for sure that'd work!"

"Ahh! It looks so relaxing in there!" May whined. "Why can't I cough up flower petals whenever I want."

"Lee, please slap May." An indignant Marie asked as she sank back into the water, the top half of her head only visible long enough to hear a hard slap and May's pained cry.

A few minutes later, May and Lee stormed into their room, the former carrying Marie over her shoulder. The blue-haired Kanker was now clad in a robe that bore a nametag reading BUTCH. May went to close the door as Lee threw Marie on the bed, her head hitting the headboard. "Ow! Be more careful will ya!?"

"Shut yer trap! I'm thinking here!" And think Lee did although it was May who made yet another suggestion. "How about a foot massage!?"

Marie's eyes widened as she knew exactly what May was entailing. "Oh hell no! Don't you dare-

But May had already stuck a buttered-up cob of corn onto the sole of Marie's foot. The hot butter caused Marie to cry out in pain but this was ignored by her sister who proceeded to repeat the process with the other foot. She then pulled four slices of bread and smashed them over Marie's feet, two per foot. She backed away and waited for Marie to calm down. Once she did, the blue-haired Kanker sat up and stared past her sisters with a shell-shocked expression on her face.

"Did it work?" Lee asked dumbly. Her question went unanswered and for a few seconds, silence dominated the Kanker's room.

And then Marie coughed up yet another petal.

"Dang it!" Lee growled. "Whatever this thing is, it's tough!"

"Maybe we should-" Marie rammed her bread-clad foot into May's stomach before she could finish her sentence. "No. More. Home. Remedies!" She growled as he used her other foot to kick May in the head. The blonde Kanker was sent smashing through the door and into the wall of the hallway. Lee stared at her for a moment, more in morbid interest than actual concern, before turning to Marie who sighed as she laid back down.

"Why me?" She whined as she covered her face with her hands. "Why me?"

"Some people just have all the luck," Lee responded. "But don't worry. We'll find a way to cure this thing if it kills ya!"

Marie sighed and turned to her side, clearly wanting to be left alone. Lee took the hint and, in a rare moment of true sisterly behavior, comfortingly patted Marie on the shoulder. "You just rest up right now. Me and May will clean up the petals before Mom comes home."

"We are?" May asked as she peeled off the wall. Lee walked up to her, grabbed her by the legs and pulled on them as if they were a cord of some kind. May's teeth began to chatter and Lee used the resulting suction to remove the single petal from the room. Lee then left the room with her sister/vacuum, leaving Marie to dwell on her humiliation.

"What the hell's wrong with me? Why am I coughing up stupid petals all of a sudden?" She thought back to her dream and to the creek, Double D's laughing face burned into her mind. She felt herself blush in shame and covered her face with her pillow, glad more than anything else that her sisters were gone. The last thing she wanted was anyone seeing her in such a vulnerable un-Kanker-like position.

"This bites!"

"This rules!"

After the Kanker's failed attempt at yet another unwarranted love fest, the Eds retreated to the relative safety of the Cul-De-Sac. The collected animals had already been stashed in Double D's garage along with his insect and arachnid collection and now they were sitting in front of his house, still laughing their asses off about the whole affair.

Well, Eddy and Ed were still laughing about it anyway. As for Double D, he currently sat in his garage, extensively examining one of Marie's flower petals under a microscope. He had taken the liberty of collecting a few of them so he could study them within the safe haven of his own abode. He was still dumbfounded by the whole situation really. One moment, he was about to be smothered in unwanted kisses by the blue-haired Kanker and the next his attacker was running off in shame after coughing out a bunch of Begonia petals. Double D wasn't entirely sure what disturbed him more, the somehow medical and botanical anomaly or the sight of a Kanker actually running away in defeat for once.

He supposed he should be happy with this turn of events and on some level, he was. But most of his mind was too preoccupied with trying to understand just what the hell had even happened. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary with the microscope's current setting, Double D groaned and switched it to the next one.

"I still can't believe it!" Eddy gushed. "We actually beat the Kankers for once! And the best part? We didn't even have to lift a finger!" Ed laughed in agreement.

"I'd hardly call an incidental if completely out of the ordinary ailment forcing the Kankers to leave us alone of their own accord "beating" them Eddy." Double D commented without looking up from his microscope.

Eddy shout him a look and dismissed him with a wave. "Ah! Shows what you know!"

"Oh come now, Eddy! Don't you find it just a little perplexing that Marie Kanker, not a girl known for her sweetness to begin with, started coughing up flower petals out of nowhere?"

Ed, who had been laughing dumbly along with Eddy all this time, suddenly shut his mouth in fear. He turned to Double D with eyes as big as dinner plates and sweat trickling down his face. "Maybe she is being possessed by the vile Flower Men of Toenail 9!" He reached into his jacket and from the putrid gunk inside he pulled out a comic bearing the title he had just spoken. The cover art depicted a large alien flower growing out of a human's empty neck stump. Double D couldn't help but think it was somewhat surreal in an artistic sort of way. Ed opened the comic and pointed to a panel displaying a woman with flowers growing out of her mouth, ears, and eyes. "It says here that once the seedlings sprout, they will drain the host's body of all fluid until they become a husk which will then be ground up and used for kitty litter!"

Silence followed.

"Um...think you for the colorful imagery, Ed." Double D quivered. He was sure to have nightmares about that description tonight. "Although I have yet to find the cause of this botanical oddity, I highly doubt it's of extraterrestrial origin."

"Ah who cares how it happened!?" Eddy cried out. "The point is we won and the Kankers lost! Fate's finally smiling down on us boys." He fell back to the sidewalk, clutching his sides as he once again erupted into laughter over the situation. "It was so hilarious! Five-star gold!" "He wiped a tear from his eye. "Ah if only we had a camera!" At that moment, quite literally out of nowhere, a mallet with the word "IDEA" appeared and smashed over Eddy's head before vanishing into the ether. Neither Double D nor Ed took any real notice of it, mostly because they were too focused on the two radiant light bulbs that had become Eddy's eyes. "That's it!" He proclaimed with his finger pointed up in the air. It was clear Eddy had an idea.

"What's it?" Double D asked with disdain. "Don't tell me you intend to make some sort of scam out of this occurrence."

To Double D's surprise, Eddy dismissed him with his hand again. "Scam, sham! I'm thinking bigger, Double D" He jumped up and clapped his hands together. "Godzilla Big!"

"Cool! Godzilla!" It would seem Eddy's excitement had swept up the big lug who was not jumping up and down while chanting "Go, Go, Godzilla!" over and over.

"Here's what I'm thinking," Eddy continued, "We wait till Monday when school starts and set a trap for Marie Kanker! The second she starts coughing up petals, SNAP!" The force of Eddy's sudden shouting was enough to send Double D flying to the back of his garage. "We take a photograph! No! Even better! We catch the whole thing on video and use it to blackmail the Kankers into leaving us alone forever!" Eddy finished his explanation with a laughing fit befitting a cartoon villain. "They won't know what hit 'em!"

"Eddy! You can't be serious!" Double D strained as he tried and failed to peel himself from the wall. At last, the layer of wall he was stuck to crumbled and dropped him on the ground with the gentleness of an enraged silverback gorilla. "Ow!" Double D groaned as he got up and fixed his back into place. "While I must admit the prospect of the Kanker sisters refraining from sharing their..uh..affections...with us is tantalizing, we would be no better than them if we stooped to something as low as blackmail to achieve it! Besides, what on Earth makes you think that Marie will still be sick by Monday or that she would come to school even if she was still afflicted by this atypical condition!?""

"Two words, Double D!" Eddy held up two fingers and brought them down again for each word he spoke. "Plot convenience!"

"Oh, brother!" Double D facepalmed, only to wince from the pain. His hand left a big red mark on his face as he pulled it away. "Ow!"

Eddy giggled and turned to Ed who was still fanboying over the King of the Monsters. "Hey, Bill Mosely! You still got that camera from when we tried to make a movie for my big bro?"

"Yep!" Edd beamed. "I stuck it in the toilet so I wouldn't forget where I put it!"

Eddy cringed at this bit of overzealous information and briefly considered it the camera would still be useable after sitting in toilet water for who knows how long. He brushed those thoughts away, deciding that since it belonged to Ed, it was 100% guaranteed to survive any exposure to muck and scum. He turned back to Double D and shouted, "Get those scrutinizers ready, Double D! We got a camera to disinfect!" Eddy then leaped onto Ed's back and rode the simple-minded Ed back to his house, leaving an annoyed Double D alone with the animals and the petals.

"It's sanitizer! Not scrutinizer!" He yelled back louder than he was accustomed to. He paid for it with a burning throat and a heaving chest. He rushed into his house and came back to the garage with a glass of tap water, already half empty. As he walked back to the microscope, he set the water down on the table and picked up another of the Begonia petals. from the small plastic baggie lying next to the microscope. He held it up to his eyes, trying as hard as he possibly could to find something, anything peculiar about this flower petal.

But alas, nothing. It was just a regular flower petal. A flower petal that somehow materialized within Marie Kanker's body without any water or sunlight.

"There just has to be a reasonable explanation for this mystery but what?" It was then that Double D became painfully aware of the deafening silence that surrounded him. He looked around as he remembered his companion's quest for a toilet-lodged camera. "I've really got to stop talking to myself."

(Sorry if the slapstick is a little out of hand, I'm doing my best to replicate EENE'S style of storytelling which tends to involve a bunch of bodily harm and fourth-wall breaking. Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter!)