If you want to understand this skit please watch Smosh's THE RAREST POKEMON CARD. Also announcement. I have a wiki blog page now. Be sure to check it out later.
The Glee club decided they would go hang out, and as they walk down the sidewalk they have to listen to Jake and Ryder arguing.
"Hey all i'm saying is that between you and me, I would make a better Superman." Ryder argues.
"What because I'm half black?" Jake retorts.
"Dude, that's not what i'm saying." They then see a sign saying yard sale. "Oh dude check it out." Ryder said while laughing.
Jake laughs too. "Yeah lets go make fun of all the stupid stuff those guys are probably trying to sell." Jake said as they run into the house. The others just roll their eyes and follow them.
As they go in they see some of the stuff for sale. They seem pretty normal. Clothes, shoes, radios, and some books. Jake and Ryder just laugh.
"Lame." Ryder said.
Jake walks up to the old man in charge of sales on his desk. "Nice junk, old man." Jake said.
"Yeah! Where did get it from, the junk store?" Ryder said and they both laugh, kind of being jerks.
"Come on guys knock it off." Marley chides.
"Oh come on Marley, we're just having fu- gasp" Jake pauses once he sees something. "Oh my God."
Ryder looks to him confused. "Dude, what's wrong?" He asks just before Jake points to what he sees. They see a rare Charizard card that collectors would kill to get.
"First edition holographic Charizard!" They say in sync.
"See? Not everything here is garbage. Just the rest of this stuff."
"Kitty!" Joe scolds.
"What? Just keeping it real." She said.
Jake then snaps out of his shock and grabs the card. "How much do you want for it? I'll pay you anything!" He begs.
Ryder takes the card "I'll pay you anything he's paying plus my lucky nickel." He said as he pulls out a nickel.
Old man takes the card and slams it on the table. "I ain't selling it to any of you rude punks. Now get out of here, before I call the sheriff." The old man says as the two look down and pout.
"That's what you get for making fun of the guy." Marley said with her arms crossed. Jake just pouts and rests his head on her shoulder.
"So, can I have it then?" Sam asks with a smile.
"No! For aligning yourself with those two, nobody gets it. I only sell my "junk" to people who deserve it." Sam whines to that.
As Ryder walks away he mocks the man. "I only sell my junk to people who deserve... Ow!" He's interrupted when he bumps into a rack. He then sees a dress on it and has an idea. "Oh!" He picks up a dress, ducks down dressing himself and later talks to the old man in a high-pitched voice "Ah, somebody help me! I'm going into labor!"
"Oh sure thing, ma'am. How can I help you?" Old man said not realizing it's just Ryder.
"Well, I was looking for a trading card for my unborn baby. Maybe one with an orange dragon on it. Oh, how about this one? Mm, that would be perfect for my unborn baby." Ryder said rubbing his shirt which has a balloon inside to make him look pregnant.
Jake however noticed Ryder and knew what was going on and found a cap and disguised himself. "Stop right there, my beautiful wife!" Jake said. Ryder looks to him confused. "Doctor said you can't touch trading cards, might hurt our precious little baby." He said trying to get the card for himself.
"Oh, no." the old man takes the card. "Sorry about that." He said convinced.
Ryder, not giving up said: "No, you don't understand! This man's not my husband!"
"Uh, doctor also said that she might be having some memory loss during her last trimester." The old man just nods to Jake "Hehe. It's okay honey." Jake comforts his "wife".
"Get off me." Ryder said while using his normal voice.
"I'll get that trading card for you." He turns to the old man "Women, am I right? Alright, now uh how much do I owe you for this here trading card?" He asks and before he can answer, Blaine shows up with a doctor costume with an accent.
"Hold on there. This just in, new medical study show that women can touch trading card while pregnant. In fact." Blaine said as he takes the card. "Your wife here, asked me to take this card while on the way to hospital. Isn't that right ma'am" He turns to Ryder who nods.
"Come on man!" Jake whispers.
"Sorry man. This card is really cool. Plus I need something to show off to Kurt." He said and Ryder frowns, because he assumed Blaine was helping him.
"Can't argue with science son." Old man says still oblivious.
"She's gonna be such a happy mother." Blaine says with a proud tone.
"Stop right there criminal!" Marley says as she enters with a police costume. "Nice try Dr. Death!" She takes the card. "This man is wanted in over five hundred states for selling illegal steroids to five-year-olds."
Old man: looks shocked. "That's horrible!"
"And I need this little guy as evidence for my part of my investigation." Marley said gesturing to the card.
"Of course sherif." Old man nods.
"Why do you want it?" Ryder asks.
"I don't. I'm doing this for Jake. But if he tries anything like this again I'm burning it." She whispers as he looks to Jake who nods in fear. But before they can leave another person shows up.
"Stop this woman!" Unique enters with a suit and mustache.
"And who are you suppose to be?" Marley questions not sure what her best friend is even supposed to be pretending to be.
"Well I'm the mayor of this here city, and I'm here to clear the good doctor's name. And while I'm at it, I might as well take that little trading card for that poor-old-pregnant lady." Unique said.
"I can take the card myself thank you very much!" Ryder argues.
Old man salutes Unique. "Yes, sir, (gives the card) Mr. Mayor, sir." (I know there is irony in Unique pretending to be a man, but she's fabulous no matter what she wears. :)
"Seriously Unique, you too?" Jake asks.
"I'll be honest. I don't really care much for pokemon. I just wanted to wear a costume. I'll be more than to sell the card to one of you though if you wa-" She's interrupted by a elbow to the head.
"Get down Mr. Mayor!" Kitty said in a suit and sunglasses along-side Joe who wears the same thing. They also both have toy guns. "Someone was plotting to kidnap the mayor!" She explained.
Joe points the fake gun at the card. "Drop the card! Could be rigged with explosives." Joe takes the card "I'm gonna have to take the card to dispose of it." He said.
"Do you even play Pokemon?" Marley asks frustrated.
"Kitty showed me some of the show. I'm really interested so far. Though the fact they made God a Pokemon is concerning."
"Come on babe let's go." Kitty said with haste. Suddenly fog appears.
"How could you let me diiiie." Unique appears with a fog machine. "Oo, I'm a ghost."
"What the hell girl? No one's gonna believe this crap." Kitty said shaking her head.
"If you don't give me that card, I'm gonna haunt the lot of you for the rest of your lives." Unique said with a ghostly voice, and a face that said "this is personal".
Old man gives the card "Take it!"
Artie and Sugar show up with ghost buster costume. "We'll take care of your ghost problem, but it's gonna cost you that card." Artie said.
"Yeah whatever, just do it!"
Sugar turns to Unique "Taste my proton gun you stupid ghost!" She pretends to use the gun with sound effects.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Unique yells as Sugar beats her up with the fake proton gun on the back and scrotum and pretends to stab her.
Artie wheels up to the desk after watching the fight. "So um, how about that card?" he asks.
Old man just stares. Sorry, I just sold it to some kid.
"WHAT!" Everyone yells. Unique even stands up. Old man just shrugs but then widens his eyes.
"Hey wait a minute. Aren't you those punk kids from earlier?" They look at each other and run away, not even realizing that certain people were missing.
Rory walks across the sidewalk but then stops to admire the card. "Wow!"
Suddenly Sam runs up to him with a skateboard with a Tony Hawk impression. "Hey kid! I'm super radical skateboarder, Tony Hawk. It would be super radical if you give me this super radical card."
Rory takes back the card. "Uh, this is my Digimon card. Also I know it's you Sam." He stares in disappointment.
Sam sighs. "Come on man. We're bros. You don't even know what that is."
Ryder walks in with a suit and tie to disguise himself as Barack Obama. "Hi, I'm the president of the United States and, uh, you need to give me that card." he said.
Rory, not knowing who he is but still sees him says: "Uh, the president is black."
Sam, who believes that Ryder is Obama yells at Rory. "You racist little s**t!" He punches Rory and takes the card "I am so sorry for that kid's insensitive remarks Mister Barack Obama." Sam gives the card to a very confused Ryder. "Uh, do you think maybe uh, "He pulls out his phone. "we can take a picture together?" Sam looks hopefully.
"Okay?" He said.
"Yeah!" He takes a picture with Ryder on his phone. "Now I can tell everyone I have black friends. Yeah!
Narrator: BLACK FRIENDS ARE AWESOME!"
I hope that you liked this skit and if so please send a review and follow me.
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