Chapter 5: Bathe those inhibitions

Tip: If you find yourself troubled, try self-care. No, not that. Go take a bath, heathen.

Ever since the argument before the meeting, Kai noticed that Joshua was going out of his way to avoid her. She had suspected it, catching glimpses of him turning corners when she was in view. It had gone on for a few days, and it didn't take long for her to think that she might've done something. By the fourth evening of not seeing Joshua anywhere, Kai flat out asked Jorg what was going on. True to his character, Jorg didn't sugarcoat anything.

"He's in a pissy mood because I called him on his crap." Jorg groused. He lacked any of his usual humor. "Joshua won't half talk to me right now cause he knows I'm right."

"Right about what?"

"I told him that he needs to stop tiptoeing around. He's stuck in his own head about something and by not doing anything he's taking it out on everyone else. You know, like how he was at the meeting."

She recalled that meeting vividly. Kai would still feel anger rise to the surface when she thought about how he'd interjected his opinion. Normally she wouldn't have cared, so it was strange that she was still bothered by it. 'It wasn't his place. I was the one that was asked; did he think he was going to answer for me? He doesn't know me!'

And that's when Kai realized something important. She hadn't been forthcoming about a lot of her past in the last two years beyond what was well-known about her status as a Sorcerer General. She hadn't felt it prudent to divulge all of it to just anyone. Jorg was the first who had coaxed the stories out of her. In the two years she'd learned – possibly more than she'd have liked – about the samurai she fought alongside, including their leader. It wasn't exactly fair, which made the men that were asking her such random things make even more sense.

'I'm still not used to being questioned like that.' Kai frowned. It was strange when Yoko was getting to know her, but it was something she'd learned to deal with. There weren't many other women close to their age at the residence, so Yoko must have been lonely. But when it was a man that was asking her questions, her immediate thought was suspicion. 'I suppose I know the answer to why that was. But…I need to remember that while these men have faults, they're not the same as him.'

"Why do you look like such a sour puss today? You need the Supreme Sex Machine to turn that frown upside down?"

Kai rolled her eyes before turning to look at Dark Schneider. "I don't need –"

"That's what all the ladies say until I –"

"I'll cut it off." She warned. Just because she wasn't carrying her sword didn't mean she wasn't armed. Hell, she'd just as sooner turn it to stone and break it off before ever taking him up on his offer.

Her words must have tipped him off that she wasn't in the mood for jokes, because his expression sobered up quickly. "Why are you so ill today?" He actually sounded serious. "You been hanging around Yoko too much or something?"

"If Yoko is mad at you that's not my problem." Kai crossed her arms over her chest. "And I'm not in a bad mood."

"Sure sound like it. Why haven't you gone off and beat on the samurai? I thought you two were into that sort of thing."

Kai was going to pretend that didn't come out as badly as it sounded, but this was Dark Schneider so it was probably intentional. "If you mean Joshua, I haven't talked to him in a couple days."

Dark Schneider rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Huh. I wonder if he's getting his rocks off elsewhere, then…"

"You're a pig."

"I'm a guy," he grinned. "Guys have three needs –"

She threw her hands up quickly to stop him. "I've already heard it! I don't need to hear your perverted take! I already know you want a worldwide harem."

"But do you know why I want a harem?"

"Cause you're a pig?"

Dark Schneider scoffed. "As if! Do I look like I have a curly tail and roll in mud?!" He crossed his arms and stared down at Kai seriously. "The thing about building a harem comes down to the pursuit. There's a challenge to getting all the women of the world to join me. It's not any different than a man chasing the skirt of one woman. The harder she resists, the more of the challenge it is to get her to see the way. Men like a challenge."

"So you all really are alike then." Her frown deepened. 'Is this why everyone has been acting the way they have? They're just on some quest? Is that why Joshua became so angry? Was one of the samurai about to reveal their plan?'

Dark Schneider looked down at Kai, confusion all over his face. Wasn't this the point where she took a swing at his head? Screamed at him? Threatened to turn him to stone again? He wouldn't have doubted that she'd go to Nei and rat him out for some bullshit reason, just so he could get the shit zapped out of him like last time. But this Kai didn't look like she was even ready for a fight, and he knew she didn't require armor. "What's with that look?"

Even her tone sounded dead to his ears. "What look?"

"You've got this droopy, hangdog expression going on, that's what kind of look! Why the hell aren't you trying to throw me off this balcony?! If you need more reasons I've got plenty; just tell me what category I can pull from! I can find something quick!"

Kai shook her head, walking away from the dark wizard. "It doesn't matter. None of it really matters."

'This is why you swore off men, you fool. You drop your guard, and they see it as an opening to complete their conquest. Yoko was right.'

Dark Schneider couldn't shake the look on Kai's face all day, no matter how much he tried – and he tried. Groping his women didn't do more than earn him fists to the head and shoulders. Even Yoko pointed out that his mannerisms seemed lackluster. Was he, the great and powerful Dark Schneider, actually having an off day? Of course not. That was preposterous. It certainly wasn't his lack of prowess.

It was Kai.

There was something about the look in her eyes that bothered him on a deeper level. Like she had just resigned herself to something unpleasant or…something. There was no fight in her eyes; even her posture drooped. He'd admit that Kai wasn't one of his top choices for his harem, but he had intended to collect every woman which meant she'd eventually have to give in…was that it? He always figured women would be excited to be part of his harem! It'd take a while to make sure they all got taken care of – even with magic that part of him still needed some recovery – but he meant it when he declared that they'd never want for anything. That sounded like a pretty sweet deal to him!

Dark Schneider spent the afternoon brooding, trying to figure out why talking with Kai earlier bothered him so much. He felt that he was a simple man with simple needs. He wasn't hungry, he wasn't tired, and he was lacking in sex but that could be remedied if Yoko would just agree to go to bed with him. It didn't even have to be his bed! It could be hers! It could be anyone's, even –

"THAT'S IT!" he yelled out loud, his epiphany ringing around the empty room. He hopped up from his reclined pose and took off down the hallway.

Why the hell hadn't he made the connection sooner?! He was the main character! The main character always had all the information at his fingertips! This was an injustice! Or rather, he would be the main character in this epic if the author knew what they were doing…

"Stupid fanfic," he muttered, scowling because the author made him mutter like some waif having the vapors. "Knock it the fuck out already! I'm not some fucking pansy –!"

"Why are you yelling now, Dark Schneider?"

The dark wizard was distracted from yelling at an entity that was deliberately ignoring him when he heard the voice of the samurai. "You!" he continued to yell. "You are the reason I'm yelling!"

Joshua looked bored, frowning as Dark Schneider approached. "You're going to need to elaborate, I'm afraid."

"You've been keeping me from getting laid, asshole!"

"That's your fault, not mine!"

"Maybe I'd have better luck if the Virgin Master finally broke his foreskin!"

Joshua's expression went livid and before Dark Schneider knew it, the samurai had a hold of his shirt with both fists. "That is none of your business, Wizard –"

He sneered back. "Maybe it wouldn't be if you were pounding it away while you have the chance. Did you forget I intend on getting my harem, Samurai? If you're gonna sow your oats, you need to do it now –"

That was apparently the right button to mash, because Joshua began to physically push him backwards towards the nearest wall. Dark Schneider would have laughed if he wasn't being moved around by someone almost half a foot shorter than him. It wouldn't look good for his image if anyone saw! But he'd clearly hit a nerve, and now he intended to pluck it. The moment his back hit the wall, he went for it. "Don't tell me you need lessons on how to use it?" he mocked.

"Shut up!" Joshua hissed.

"It helps if the woman gets you going." He continued as though the samurai wasn't nose to nose with him seething. "Gotta make sure it's rigid, but you need to make sure she's as slick as oil. How you do that's really dealer's choice, in my experience. Some like hearing what you're gonna do to them, some appreciate magic fingers, and there's some that really respond well to a good tonguing –"

"I said shut up!"

Dark Schneider let out a grunt. Here he was giving out tips for pleasing a woman – for free – and Joshua was acting like he knew every trick in the book. "Do you even have a woman in mind you want to give it to?"

Joshua's teeth were bared and it was weird how similar he looked to the night that Dark Schneider ran from Kai's room. The only thing he was missing was the sword and the nerd hanging from his waist…

"Oooh wait…" Dark Schneider began to grin widely. "You do have someone in mind…" Now it all made sense!

"I will kill you –"

"Kai's gonna be a tough nut to crack, you know. You may have to use all three tactics to get her slippery –" Joshua was weaponless but Dark Schneider was sure he'd find some way to inflict bodily harm to his person. If it were possible his expression went even darker. "Yeah…that explains why you've had your nuts in a vice for a while," he continued. "You've done figured out you can't get your rocks off unless it's with her, huh?"

He was surprised when the samurai let go of his shirt, but he still looked ready to murder. "That isn't the problem."

"You're still a virgin, so I'd say it is."

Joshua grit his teeth. "Kai has discrepancies with men in general, and I blame you for that, manwhore."

"I'm only a manwhore for Yoko, I'll have you know," Dark Schneider sniffed indignantly. "Once she sees the right way, of course."

"You just said that you were still planning to build a harem –"

"And I am! A guy's gotta have something to do with his time while he waits on the woman he loves to fall in line."

The samurai laughed bitterly. "Now that's the pot calling the kettle black," he smirked. "Doesn't look like you're doing any better than me." Not that he wanted to put himself on the same level as the dark wizard, but in this case he was gonna celebrate the little victories.

Dark Schneider was now the one frowning. "I've been with more women than you've been alive. It's just a dry spell, that's all." He crossed his arms over his chest. "If you're looking to get between Kai's legs, you need to man up and do something. I'll be generous and make sure that Kai is one of the last women I add to my harem; that ought to give you plenty of time to fuck her."

"If you don't stop speaking about her that way…"

"You'll what?" The wizard laughed. "Do us all in this place a favor, Joshua. Take her v-card and sign your name all over it while you've got the chance. Assuming you don't disappoint her, I'll make an exception for the harem. You'd be the only man in the world besides me who'd have a woman. How does that sound?"

"Kai would never agree to your harem –"

"Then get your dick in gear and give it to her!" Dark Schneider stated bluntly. "And I brought you back to life so I know what you're packing. If you can't bring her the ultimate pleasure then you do need lessons." He scratched his head, yawning. Now that he solved that puzzle, he was hungry. "I'm gonna go see if dinner is almost done. Gotta build up my energy for seducing Yoko, after all."

If anything was going to help soothe her mind, it would be a long soak in the bath. Kai was certain of it as she hung the "Women Bathing" sign on the door. It wouldn't slow down some people, but the majority respected the sign. After dealing with Dark Schneider's disgusting take on women earlier, she'd chosen to spend her day away from most everyone in the residence. Sean had come looking for her, but she wasn't in the mood to hear about how her friend would try to justify the dark wizard's claims. They both knew the harem wasn't going to happen, but he'd boasted about it for so long that it's become a facet of his personality by this point.

There was only one person that Dark Schneider truly wanted, and it was Yoko. Nei was not thrilled, but she'd recognized the change. She'd followed the man for so long that when she thought she had him, he went and picked another. And then he disappeared, sending her away for two years without searching for her. If anyone had the right to fry him like fish, it was her.

And when Dark Schneider put his moves on every other woman in the residence, he was only adding to the list of reasons for Nei to zap him. Yoko even encouraged it.

Kai felt that it was justified, especially since their initial fight. She stripped her clothes off and left them folded in the small alcove, closing its doors. 'There's been no amount of scrubbing that can make me forget how he touched me that day.' She would have sooner died than ask that man to draw out the poison, but he had done so without giving her a choice. 'He helped me, but I still felt like I had been violated.'

The water was steaming hot on her skin, which felt refreshing as she began to wash. The only sounds in the shower room was the water pouring down from above and the wash cloth sliding across her body. Kai paused to let the water rinse the soap away before she began to massage her scalp.

'Would it be too much to ask for the water to rinse away the past week?' It probably would. Kai was sure that it'd be easier to teach Anthrasax to knit than it would be to reprogram the collective of men in the residence, and that included Dark Schneider. 'I thought Joshua might have been different,' she sighed, dipping her head under the spray of water. 'Except for the way he talks and the fact that he doesn't go around groping women, I guess he's no different than Dark Schneider after all…'

There was something about that thought that didn't feel right. Kai turned off the shower and begun to squeeze the water from her hair. Joshua wasn't anything like the dark wizard when she'd met him. He seemed like any other man that was suspicious of a Sorcerer General fighting alongside his men, and she'd proved that she wouldn't turn against them. But lately it seemed as though he were jumping from one extreme to the other. If he wasn't acting like a gentleman to her, he was getting mad at her for something out of her control, or he was acting like a complete bastard to the other samurai and then disappearing. 'I can't say I'm much better about going off to be alone,' she mused. She'd normally taken her baths with the other girls, but now she was avoiding them too.

Kai let out a sigh and refolded her towel after drying off. The shower left her refreshed, but maybe the soak would help change her mindset. Despite telling Jorg she didn't think of herself as a woman, soaking in the large bathing room was a secret guilty pleasure of hers. The hot water did wonders for sore muscles, but the atmosphere was very calming. The bathing quarters were divided into two rooms, and the bathing room was only accessible through the showers.

It was a secret hideaway that could be just for her, since she'd hung up the women only sign.

Kai closed her eyes and let out a mewl of pleasure as her feet were submerged in the bathing pool. She didn't even care where her towel was tossed as she moved deeper into the water. It felt like heaven and she was alone. She could waltz out and get it without worrying about how she looked.

"K-Kai –?!"

Or so she thought.

Her eyes snapped open to see the object of her frustrations also standing in the bathing pool. Also naked. Since the water reached mid-thigh on her, nothing was being hid from either her eyes or Joshua's.

Kai screamed, torn between trying to cover herself and run. She could hear Joshua get closer, yelling her name and to wait, but she was trying to scream out an apology for not knowing the bathing room was occupied when she felt her balance shift. Kai looked down to see the water getting closer; her feet had slipped on the bottom of the pool. She felt her body jerk forward, only to be pulled back forcefully, and then she finally fell into the water.

"Kai!" Joshua sounded like he was looming above her, inches away.

Her backside and hip had hurt from the impact, but her mind was screaming for her to get distance between them. Flashes of a memory invaded her thoughts, reminding her of another time a man was above her with his hands on her body. She shut her eyes tightly, wishing she could forget the way she'd been stared down at. "G-Get away! Don't look at me!" Kai screamed. "I'm not poisoned!"

"Kai?!"

"Don't look –" Her voice started to waver, but her arms were wrapped tight around her chest. Whether she was actually shielding herself or not, she didn't know. Kai wouldn't open her eyes. She couldn't open them and see electric blue ones staring back, leering at her. 'Not again. I can't –'

"Kai?" The voice was softer this time. Cautious. "Kai, are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"

She slowly blinked, seeing a wall of flesh and steam immediately before her. Kai tilted her head back slightly to see long dark hair, not white. The eyes weren't blue, but green. It was Joshua, not Dark Schneider, and he looked down at her worriedly, hands on her shoulders. "J…Joshua…"

His expression shifted to relief. "Are you alright, Kai? I…I tried to catch you when you slipped, but…"

That solved the mystery of why her arm felt sore. She hadn't landed on her left side, so he must have reached for that arm when her feet came out from under her. Kai's gaze shifted down slightly, taking in their current position. Joshua was on his knees above her, the water line beat against his middle as it settled. 'It's not like after that fight,' her mind finally rationalized.

They weren't outdoors in the grass. It wasn't Dark Schneider.

But there was something…off…and that's when she screamed again. Kai feltsomething strange touching her bent leg. There had never been anything hiding in the water before, but her mind immediately went to either an eel or a snake. "Something is touching me!"

Screaming might have been going too far, but she felt justified in kicking upwards to shake the thing off. Then Joshua let out a choked gasp and doubled over above her…and Kai realized too late that there wasn't a snake or eel in the bathing pool.

"I'm so sorry, Joshua." Kai must have apologized a hundred times already, but she didn't think it'd ever be enough. The poor guy was still hunched in a ball trying to breathe; she had no idea one hard hit there could knock the wind out of a man's sails, but she'd have rather that kick been for someone that deserved it. As pissy as Joshua had been in recent days, it wasn't enough to warrant being kicked in the groin.

"It's alright." His voice even sounded higher than usual. "This was an accident, Kai. That's all."

She turned to search for the towel she'd tossed to the side, keeping her arms crossed over her chest. "Maybe I should go –"

"No wait –"

"I hurt you. I should –"

Joshua started to stand up in the water, but at Kai's squeak, he sat on his knees, keeping his bottom half hidden. It wasn't very hidden; if she wanted to really look it wouldn't be difficult. Which she didn't. "If anyone needs to leave," he wheezed, "then it should be me. I upset you –"

"But you're hurt –" If anyone needed the time to sit in warm water, it was him.

"Then that gives me the power to decide, right?" Joshua slowly sat back down, leaning against the edge of the pool. "I'd like you to stay, Kai. If you don't mind?"

Shit. He had backed her into a corner now. How the hell did he know that she couldn't deny the request of an injured ally? Kai suspected Jorg. She hesitated, knowing that it wasn't appropriate, but also really wanted to soak in the water for a while. A thought struck her and Kai smirked. "Alright, but you have to tell me why you've acted so strange lately."

The moment that Kai sat down in the pool, Joshua responded. "I'll agree to that, but first…I want to know why you were yelling about being poisoned."

"Oh…I…I did say that…" Kai felt the blood drain from her face as she thought back to the moment she'd slipped. She cleared her throat, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them. 'This will probably end any friendship I have with you.' "Do you remember when I dueled with Yngwei and he spoke about how Dark Schneider had…had…"

Joshua grunted uncomfortably at that memory. "I-I recall. I remember you saying it was a lie as well –"

"It was!" she insisted. "I don't know how Yngwei even learned of it, but the day that I fought Dark Schneider, I'd been poisoned by the cockatrice I'd summoned. He killed the beast, and then he…he sucked the poison from my wound."

Kai stared down at the water, not wanting to see Joshua's expression. It could be disgust, or worse pity. The samurai was silent, and she couldn't imagine what he was thinking.

"So I have Dark Schneider to thank for meeting you."

"W-what?"

"He saved your life," Joshua pointed out. "Twice, it seems. He sent both you and Yoko to us when Meta-llicana disappeared. As infuriating as he can be, it appears that he still has qualities that make him a decent human."

"Oh." Kai hadn't thought of it like that. She'd spent so much time seething that he'd touched her at all, that really recognizing that he'd saved her never sunk in. 'We never would have met if I'd died that day. I wouldn't have the memories I do now if it weren't for that wizard.' Then she recalled each time he'd groped her since and a scowl was etched into her face. "I'm beginning to think all of those times he's let his hands wander are a repayment plan."

Kai didn't think too much about the water in the pool sloshing about, but seeing Joshua get closer in her peripheral vision was surprising. "We could fix that," he suggested.

There was something about the way he said it that made Kai's heart beat faster. She tried to ignore the feeling, focusing on the conversation. "What? Cut his hands off?"

Joshua groaned. "He'd probably divide into little people again."

She couldn't help it; she'd begun to laugh. "Two hands are bad enough. I can't imagine a dozen sets running around!"

"Vai alone is more than enough to deal with." Joshua sighed. "I can only hope my last warning was enough to get him to stop spying."

Kai didn't have it in her to point out that of the two, the samurai leader was the one sitting next to a naked woman currently. And that's the moment her mind started really acknowledging the situation she was in. It wasn't like she hadn't seen a naked man before, and certainly not the first time with Joshua, but it was the first time she willingly shared a bath with a man. She suddenly felt very vulnerable, and now that she was aware of it, she couldn't shake it. 'It's not like he's tried to do something,' she thought, pressing her legs together. 'The only time Joshua touched me was when he tried to keep me from falling. That…that other touching wasn't intentional.' "How…how is…your…um…" Kai lifted her left hand and motioned to Joshua.

Luckily he got the vague question. "Oh! It's better," he assured her.

Kai still felt guilty, but pushed it aside to ask a question that had been bugging her for days. "Why have you been acting so strange?"

Joshua's expression looked troubled. He almost looked…afraid? "Are your sure you want to know?"

"It'd be nice to know, yeah. I thought things were weird when you would fly off the handle at the other samurai, or when you nearly took out the door to the bathing rooms going after Vai. But then you started avoiding everyone, including me… And…" Kai sucked in a breath, trying not to let her stupid girl emotions get the better of her. Finally asking was gonna end up with her blubbering if she wasn't careful. "And if I did something that upset you, I'd want you to tell me, you know? Cause I thought that we got past the Sorcerer General thing years ago, but if you're back to not trusting me –"

"Kai, what in the world made you think that?" He didn't sound angry, but confused.

She hugged her legs tighter to her chest, dropping her head down. Kai sighed, trying to find a way to explain her thoughts. "Have you heard the rumor that I hate men?"

"Some of the men have mentioned it," he winced. "I imagine that there must be a good reason, if it were true...?"

Kai shook her head. "It's not," she said flatly. "I distrust men more, as a general rule. Unlike Sean Ari, it took time for me to see any glimmer of decency in Dark Schneider, and I'm still waiting to be proven that it's all been an illusion. I don't trust easily anyway, but when someone's gained my trust, they're placed in a tier above the rest."

"I take it…Dark Schneider is someone you trust?"

"I trust that he'll be a pig," Kai snorted. "I trust that he's strong. But as a man, I still don't know the answer to that." She loosened her hold of her legs, allowing them to straighten slightly. The water covered her chest, and she still wanted to have the extra concealment, but her legs were starting to cramp. "I trust you and Jorg."

"Y-you do?"

Kai nodded. "It wasn't an immediate trust, I assure you. I was pretty indifferent for a bit in the beginning, but as we worked together I began to trust that either of you would answer if I called."

Joshua shifted, bracing his forearms on his bent knees. "You didn't give me a choice," he smiled softly. "You flew into battle on our first mission together and cleared the path. You were always the first one in and the last one out."

"I followed the leader," she pointed out.

"You never gave me warning!" He laughed, making Kai laugh in return. It didn't matter which mission he was thinking of, she'd had a habit in the early days of proving her worth to the samurai. Joshua never knew that she'd done the same under her service to Empress Nei. Joshua looked over at Kai, meeting her gaze. "It's not that I ever stopped trusting you, Kai," he told her softly. "But lately I haven't trusted myself."

Kai listened intently as he explained that his thoughts had been scattered, alluding to a decision that he knew he'd have to make, but couldn't. She could sympathize with that. It was hell knowing that a choice was going to be presented, and whichever way one leaned would impact how things unfolded afterwards, with no way of taking it back. Joshua spoke about how he'd worn himself down physically and mentally because of this dilemma, which prompted Lord Mifune to force him to rest.

"And then the council of war," he winced. "It was wrong of me to act the way I did, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I got defensive. It wasn't until later that it occurred to me that I've been so closed off from everyone, but it really wasn't the time for the men to ask those kinds of questions –"

"What?"

"What do you mean, 'what'? Why are you looking at me like that, Joshua?" Kai couldn't find a word that described his expression in that moment. He looked confused, but it was also like he was questioning her judgment or something?

"You…You thought they were…" Joshua shook his head. "I don't think they were just asking to be nice, Kai. They…they were…"

"Testing your patience by asking if I was spoken for?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

Kai shrugged. "It was a joke. Even Jorg got in on it." She'd brushed off their questions as the meeting began, knowing there was nothing serious about what was said. At least, she believed there wasn't anything to it.

"It wasn't a joke to me," Joshua whispered. He looked upwards and sighed. "They did it to get a rise out of me. I think a few of them suspected that I… that I've become… enamored with you, Kai…and they wanted to see how far they could push things."

She felt like she'd gotten punched in the chest. Joshua…liked her? Kai had no idea how she was expected to react that that admission. It made her feel…peculiar. As she thought back to how he typically treated her, she could see where he might have been trying to drop hints. He took the brunt of the impact when they traveled through the vortex. He offered her his arm when he escorted her to breakfast. He…got very angry when other men didn't treat her decently. "Hang on… is this why you reacted so strongly before Dark Schneider reappeared? When I said after our match that maybe I'd have to try the spell instead of Yoko?"

Joshua's face turned a bright shade of red before he ever opened his mouth, and a small part of Kai was curious to see how far he could blush. His head dropped down and he wouldn't meet her eyes, but it was obvious. "It is," he swallowed. "This ah…this isn't how I expected this conversation to happen." He gestured to the bathwater, making ripples as his hand smacked the surface. "Jorg told me that I'd have to decide to tell you sooner or later, and it appears the choice was made for me."

"This was what has been on your mind all this time?" Kai frowned. He'd actually stressed himself sick because he wasn't sure if he should tell her that he felt something for her? "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Joshua laughed bitterly. "I've never experienced this before. I don't know what I'm doing! All I know is what I feel is strong and I've been torn on whether to say anything at all. By not mentioning it I'm leaving myself open to never knowing your reaction, but…now that it's out I'm terrified of how you're going to react…"

Kai didn't know what to say at first. "This is new to me too," she said slowly. "I've never had a man tell me that they felt something for me –"

"You don't have to say anything, Kai. I don't want to make you feel like you need to –"

"It's not that," she cut him off. "Back before Empress Nei took me and trained me to be a Sorcerer General, when I was young…there was a boy that I liked. He served our village as a warrior. We trained together. I thought that maybe if I became strong like him, if I could be as good a warrior, then he might… I confessed to him one day, and he rejected me in front of everyone. I was never going to be good enough for him because I was a warrior. When our village fell, when Empress Nei found me, I'd sworn an oath to not let a man hurt me like that again.

"The truth is, Joshua…I don't know how to feel those things again. I'm not rejecting your feelings, so please don't think that's the case. If it were anything else, I could answer with confidence, but…"

"You need time."

"Are you mad?" Kai looked to him, seeing his brow furrowed. 'He is mad. He thinks I've rejected him even though I said I wasn't.'

"Not at you," he replied, catching her by surprise. "I want to hurt the man that said that you weren't good enough for him."

"He's probably dead. I'm sure he abandoned his duty when the village was overrun and our people were killed." It was petty but it would've served him right if he'd run into an orc. Kai hadn't thought about him in years. "I don't even recall his name," she realized.

Joshua moved a little closer, and Kai was surprised to feel her heart skip a beat this time. "He's not worth remembering then. Kai… I don't want you to feel pressured to say anything to not disappoint me. But don't for a second ever feel that you are what that boy claimed. Don't let his memory cloud your judgment of the person you've become."

"You say you don't want to pressure me, but it sounds like you're putting wind under my sails with your words," she teased.

"I'm only telling the truth," he smiled. "You're an amazing warrior, Kai, but that's nothing compared to how beautiful you are."

Kai felt her face heat up quickly. Dark Schneider had called her a 'pretty girl' before, but the way Joshua said 'beautiful' hit far differently. She was stunned. It was a genuine compliment from a man. She was sure the rest of her body was flushed as she stammered, trying to think of something to say. "T-thank you, Joshua..."

Sometime after Joshua's confession and Kai's flustered response, she didn't feel as self-conscious about sitting in the bath with him. She had no idea how long they had talked, but it was pleasant. "I've enjoyed this," she admitted, leaning against the edge of the pool. She'd even relaxed enough to stretch her legs out.

"I have too," Joshua smiled. "Even though neither of us got off on the right foot."

Kai couldn't contain the laugh that erupted. "I think it was my left leg, actually." He laughed as well, and she was thankful that he had a sense of humor about the accident. Kai reached up to brush the hair from her eyes, making the damp strands wet again. "It must be late, right?"

"I imagine."

She hummed. Dinnertime had passed; she'd eaten a small meal before coming to the bathing rooms. The high window at the top of the wall didn't offer much of a view other than darkness outside. There was no way of knowing just how late it was from their vantage point, but she was too relaxed to get out of the water. Her eyes closed slowly. She was so relaxed. The water was warm –

Kai startled, splashing water about as she sat up straighter. Joshua looked at her with concern. "S-sorry, I got too comfortable. I nearly fell asleep in the water."

"You're not alone, Kai. I'd be here to save you," he told her.

Joshua watched as her face turned bright red, not sure what to make of it. Kai couldn't bring herself to remind him that they were both naked, or how that might appear if she came back to consciousness to see him above her. Before she could ask if the heat in the room had gone to his head, he must have come to a similar conclusion.

"N-not l-like that!" Joshua was backtracking quick. "I mean – if it came to it, of course! But I meant – I meant that I'm – I'm right here next to you! I wouldn't let you drown because I'd get you out of the water! C-carefully, of course! I'd be mindful of where my hands were at all times!"

There was something funny and endearing about his response that Kai started to laugh again. She was a little curious about the image he'd envisioned, because hers was… 'I won't ask because I can't tell him how Dark Schneider held me down and sucked out the poison.' Joshua would probably collapse in the water if he knew her thoughts had swapped out the two men in her hypothetical rescue scenario. The laughter subsided and she could feel her skin getting hot again, but it had nothing to do with the water. 'The only reason that image appeared is because of what Joshua told me earlier. That has to be it.'

"Maybe we should both get out," he suggested. "I think we've been in here too long."

A disappointing truth she had to agree with. Kai stared down at the water, coming to a decision. It was impulsive, and maybe it was due to the heat, but she didn't care. She stood up in the water, keeping her hands at her sides as the water droplets run across her exposed skin.

"K-Kai..?" Joshua was looking up at her with wide eyes, and his cheeks were beginning to go as red as hers felt.

"I trust you," she reminded him – and herself. "I…I've already s-seen you twice… I…I thought that it was only fair…"

The samurai let out a strangled sound and the water around them splashed about as he scrambled to his feet, nearly slipping in the process. Kai did her best to not laugh this time, because he tried so hard to look dignified as he stood there with his hands on his hips. "Y-you turned too quick the second time…" he justified with an even brighter blush in his cheeks.

Kai wasn't going to look.

She wasn't.

She did.

Why had he apologized that first time? She wasn't repulsed by him, that was for certain. Kai still felt herself blushing, but she couldn't make sense of why anymore. It wasn't so much that she was embarrassed; she'd been the first one to make the gesture. It was –

"Well well well…what do we have here?"

"J-Jorg?" Kai didn't get a chance to drop into the water and hide. Joshua reached out and pulled her against him, turning to block her from the voice in the doorway.

"Jorg, get out of here!"

"I've been looking all over the residence for your ass, man!" Jorg sounded amused. "When I saw the women's sign hanging up I didn't think anything of it until I passed the ladies down another hallway. Now I can see that you hung it up for good reason…"

"He didn't, I did!" Kai called out.

The samurai in the doorway let out a whistle that echoed across the bathing room. "Wow, so Kai's the one that took matters into her own hands –"

"I didn't know he was here!"

"You know that's how all those dirty stories start –"

Joshua let out a growl that Kai felt…among other things. While Joshua was telling Jorg where he could stick his 'stories', she couldn't ignore the fact that something was poking her thighs. To make matters worse, she didn't find it unpleasant. 'I guess it's…working normally now? At least I know it's not an eel…' Kai really wished that Jorg would leave. She was trying really hard not to focus on the new sensations – or being poked – but Jorg's teasing only made Joshua pull her tighter to him. Jorg had seen them in the bath together. She didn't believe he would go spreading the news, but he wasn't going to let either of them forget this moment. 'That's going to be hard to do, anyway. He's so warm, and…firm…strong…'

"Alright, alright. I'm going," Jorg finally relented. "But – we do need to talk, man to man. Take your time though; don't go rushing anything on my account…"

As his friend's footsteps faded away, Joshua sighed. "I'm going to have to kick his ass one of these days."

Kai swallowed, trying not to shiver as she felt his chest rumble. He was already poking her and she needed to focus on not reacting to that again. He was still holding onto her tightly, keeping his arms wrapped around her back and waist. "Let me know when you do. I want to join you for that."

Joshua murmured an "of course" before he remembered they were still naked. Then came another apology, followed by a very indignant noise when he realized that he was standing in more ways that one. Kai kept her eyes upward this time as he stepped back from her, because he sounded mortified that she'd gotten up close and personal after their talk. "I…uh…I hope this…this doesn't influence your thoughts," he blushed. "About what we talked about earlier…"

Kai shook her head. It hadn't…but it gave her even more to think about.