Chapter Twelve: Heart of a Shade

Lancelot swung outwards in a blocking motion, cutting Junior Auror Queenscove off at the pass, though a dark part of his soul longed to let the young wizard act. What gave Gaius the right to attack his teammate on nothing more than mere suspicion? But he knew. Camlann. A name every member of Team Four hated – and ironically, Mordred hated it most of all.

Watching his Sergeant and Gwaine race for Parker and Mordred – bless his cousin's lightning-quick response – the constable cocked his head. "How long, do you think?"

Percival sighed. "At least two. Three if Gwaine is stupid."

"It's Gwaine," Elyan put in, dejected. "Of course he'll say it."

"Say what?" Junior Auror Queenscove demanded.

Leon grumbled something under his breath and rubbed his beard – the one he kept even though it was technically against SRU policy. "The Once and Future Knights." Blue flicked towards Gaius and narrowed. "That wasn't necessary."

The Once and Future Court Physician sputtered. "Wasn't necessary?"

He opened his mouth to continue and Leon cut him off with a deadly glare. "We know. We remember. So does he." A step forward, looming over the elderly sorcerer. "And the last time one of us was stupid enough to bring up Camlann, we spent a week keeping Mordred away from his off-duty firearm."

Lancelot shuddered – the only reason Mordred's suicide attempts had stopped after that week was his solemn promise that Wild Magic could defy Fate and Destiny. That so long as Mordred had even one Wild Mage on his side, the Old Religion could not twist him into a murderer again. A promise that now seemed rather hollow in the face of what Morgause and Morgana had done to Parker; Squib-born his cousin might be, but he was every inch a Wild Mage.

"Gaius," he interceded, tone soft. "What happened, happened. We can't change it, but if we let it taint the now, we'll lose him again."

The Court Physician glared. "That is easy for you to say."

"No, it's not," Lancelot countered, still firm. "I was at Camlann. In her shadow, just as I'd been every single day after what happened between me and Gwen." A breath. "And Arthur was my friend, too."

The old man recoiled, a dawning horror in his eyes. Pity, too, which Lancelot wanted no part of. He'd made peace with his centuries-long exile to the Netherworld, but had no desire to revisit the memories.

So he brushed past the old physician and angled for his teammates, praying Gwaine wasn't being stupid. But gryphon hearing caught the roguish former knight's voice and he cringed. "Point to Elyan," he muttered, jerking to the side so Sarge would see his hands moving.

Dark eyes snagged on him, then widened as the Sergeant realized what a colossal screw-up their jokester had just committed. Mordred was laughing, but there was a look in his eyes that Lancelot knew well. He'd seen it in the mirror a few times as he'd struggled to come to grips with his own actions as a Shade – and that betrayal hadn't even been voluntary.

Gaius took a step after Lancelot, only to halt when Leon gripped his arm. "Don't," the former knight murmured, though not with the anger of before. "He doesn't want pity." There was a wealth of knowledge in that sentence, knowledge that Gaius knew he would do well to take heed of.

He forced himself to pause. To nod. "And Mordred?"

"Sees himself as the Once and Future Traitor," Elyan supplied, sotto to keep young Neal from overhearing. "We know the legends they have today, but we don't talk about the prophecies."

The old physician grimaced, hearing what the knight-constable wasn't saying. Deliberately, he skewed his gaze back to Lancelot and hopefully safer ground. "What else are you aware of?"

Percival snorted, catching on at once. "We don't talk about Shades, either." Beside him, Elyan gave a solemn nod.

About to return the nod, Gaius stilled. He would not – could not – trust Mordred, but if there was even a chance that the Knights were right about him, then it was Gaius's duty to make amends for his poor reaction. And if, perchance, his amends also resolved a long-standing issue – or two – so much the better.

Gently, he removed Leon's restraining hand. Then he folded his hands together in front of him, deliberately interlacing his fingers. Inside, his heart pounded – he'd just disarmed himself – but the former Court Physician let not a whisker of that fear show as he strode across the room, angling for Mordred, the knight-constables, Sergeant Vio, and the winged figure who'd snatched Mordred out of thin air.

The winged figure saw him coming; scarlet gleamed and a growl rumbled in its chest as it stepped in his path, fingers curling into claws.

"It's alright, sir," Mordred interceded. "We need his help."

Scarlet flicked back towards the treacherous knight as the growl grew louder. Then the figure moved aside, though it jabbed a finger at Gaius. "Not subject. Pride-Friend. Mine."

Taken aback, Gaius studied the winged figure more closely – and stilled. Clearly, this was the individual under Morgause's curse. Animal-heart – an Animagus form? A bird, perhaps? No, the transformed legs were all wrong for a bird.

"Gryphon," Lancelot supplied from off to the side.

The old sorcerer frowned. "Magical Animagus forms are unheard of."

"Not for Wild Mages," Lancelot corrected. "Our Animagus forms are familial and typically magical in nature."

Our forms, not their forms. Gaius turned away from the winged figure to stare at Lancelot. "You have magic?"

Hazel met his blue without flinching. "Yes," the knight-constable confirmed. "All my life."

There was so much he could say. So much he wanted to say. To ask, to probe. To explore the whys. Instead, Gaius dipped his head. "You hid it well." Perhaps too well.

Lancelot heard the unsaid, flinching ever so slightly from it. Gesturing towards the winged figure, he said, "This is Lieutenant Gregory Parker." The man hissed, but Lancelot merely arched an unimpressed brow at him. "He prefers the name Elias at the moment."

"Certainly," Gaius acknowledged, bowing to both of them. Lifting his head, he met Mordred's gray. "You identified the spell?"

The young man nodded. "We still have the Pensieve memory if you want to see," he offered.

"I will," Gaius confirmed. "But first…" He deliberately trailed off, waiting for Mordred to fidget. "It seems I must apologize for my hasty reaction to seeing you." The old sorcerer lifted a hand when the men around him would've interrupted. "More, I understand that your fellow knights are concerned for you."

Mordred cringed, forcing a jerky nod.

"I have not changed my mind about you. Yet. But I must caution you against any permanent decisions. Such would not be as irrevocable as you might imagine."

Gwaine and Sergeant Vio glared, but Lancelot froze, a dawning realization on his face. "No," he whispered, stricken.

Gaius inclined his head to the dark-haired knight-constable. "Yes. Morgana might hesitate, knowing, as she does, what that entails for the… victim… Morgause would not."

Mordred frowned, glancing between them. "What are you talking about?"

The Court Physician faced the young druid directly, each word precise. "If history should repeat itself, Arthur would stand a much better chance against a human versus a Shade."

Mordred recoiled, gray widening in utter terror as he absorbed the implications. The idea that his suicide would make it easier for the Old Religion to manipulate him. That, far from removing Arthur's prophesized murderer from the stage, he would be creating an even more lethal killer.

"You would still be aware," Lancelot cut in, pulling horrified gray to himself and ignoring the way Gaius blanched. "A part of you would know what you were doing, but you would not be able to stop." He stopped, visibly battling with himself. The final words slipped out, as if wrenched from the depths of his soul, fleeing the iron façade he'd maintained for so long. "No matter how loudly you scream."

Gaius felt himself pale, for this… This was far, far worse than he'd ever imagined, even in his worst nightmares. When he and Merlin had planned the latter's confrontation with the Shade which Lancelot had become, he'd taken consolation in the knowledge that Lancelot could not remember. His soul was bound to the undead conjuration, yes, but at least he didn't know what he was doing. Once freed, he would return to his rest, unaware of Morgana's treachery.

To hear Lancelot now, to see the suppressed anguish on his face as he fought to smooth his expression out, the Court Physician wished he'd known then. Wished he'd told Merlin to throw caution to the winds and use his magic to stop the Shade, even if it meant revealing himself to the whole court. Perhaps they could've found a way to free their friend, restoring him to life in the process. Arthur would've been angry, of course, but once he knew what Merlin had done for him, the horrors Merlin had spared Lancelot's soul from…

The elderly man moved to Lancelot's side, burying any trace of pity. Only genuine regret and grief shone on his wizened face. Reaching up, he rested a hand on the knight's shoulder. "Oh, my boy," he murmured. "Would that we had known, we would've never left you to that fate."

Lancelot stiffened, even started to pull away. But then the other knights were there, surrounding their teammate – Mordred tugged Sergeant Vio in when he tried to withdraw – and Leon was gripping Lancelot's other shoulder.

"This isn't Camelot," he said, firm, with no give. "You're allowed to fall sometimes." A tiny, sorrowing smile. "We'll catch you."

There was a recoil. A choked off noise. Then Gaius found a headful of knight in his arms, not sobbing or crying, but mourning nonetheless. It rather reminded the old man of young Arthur, back before Uther had taught him that any display of emotion – besides anger – was shameful.

While Troy Vio knew himself to be a good leader – a good Sergeant – he'd never aspired to be a father to his men. Parker had that all sewn up, anyway, and there was no way he'd ever be able to match a man who'd gone to the mat for his guys as often as Parker did. So the SRU sniper stuck to what he'd learned from his own Sergeants and team leaders – professionalism and team building exercises, along with an open door policy for any intra-team issues.

That didn't mean he was blind – he knew a father when he saw one, however unconventional. As Lancelot trembled in the old sorcerer's arms, Troy understood. He understood why Gaius had been so very quick to lash out at Mordred – the angry father defending his sons. Trying to avenge the one he'd lost at Camlann.

The Sergeant stayed where he was, leaving his wrist in Mordred's grasp, though he made a mental note to have Percival collect the bomb tech's off-duty weapon ASAP. Maybe the old guy had gotten through to Mordred about how stupid the suicide move was, but Troy wasn't taking any chances. He might be violating SRU policy by not reporting his youngest constable, but that was as far as his forbearance went. Besides, the thought of trying to explain why his bomb tech was suicidal… That made his head hurt.

A minute or so later, Lancelot pulled back, out of Gaius's grasp, already scrubbing away any hint of moisture. Troy stepped on Leon's foot before his team leader could say anything and cast the rest of his constables a warning glare. Gwaine and Elyan moved away, followed by Percival once the big man figured out the same thing his Sergeant had.

Mordred shuffled in front of Lancelot, uncertain, but determined as he faced the old Court Physician directly, with no one between them. Lifting his chin, he said, "I hear you, sir. I wish I could promise you it won't happen again, but I can promise that I won't give them a Shade. Not voluntarily."

Intense blue skewered the bomb tech, examining him intently. Then, slowly, the white-haired head nodded. "I believe you."

The two faced off for a moment longer, then Mordred allowed a slow exhale. "Then…will you help us?"

Gaius inclined his head. "I believe you said there was a Pensieve memory of this event?"

"We got the info from it, though," Gwaine interrupted. "Why start with that?"

"So that I may judge the casting of this spell for myself," Gaius replied. "I also wish to see the immediate aftermath, if the memory includes that."

"It does," Mordred said. "We'll need Auror Onasi, then."

"And Lancelot goes with you again," Leon interjected.

The bomb tech glanced back, already opening his mouth to argue, but stopped when Lancelot slid into place at his side, expression determined. "Copy that," he acknowledged instead.

Sam towed Junior Auror Queenscove over to the Team One corner, shaking his head. At least they'd been able to talk Marina into going home with a female Auror qualified to set up short-term wards – they'd need to arrange for better ones, both at Marina's apartment and for her family, but first they had to get Sarge out from under Morgause's little Judgment spell.

In the meantime, Team Four had just blown their Big Secret to heck and gone. There was no way to explain to Neal why his father's old friend had just attacked somebody he'd never even met – or why he wasn't going to be arrested for it – without explaining everything. Tack on that idiotic 'Once and Future Knights' line and Sam was wondering if Neal even needed an explanation.

Nevertheless, the sniper didn't speak until he'd reached his teammates and gotten Neal in the center of their group. Then he glanced up at his Sergeant. "So much for that."

"No kidding," Ed agreed, shaking his head. "Why didn't Leon warn him?"

The blond shrugged. "Too busy catching up on the good ole times?"

"Okay, what's going on?" Neal demanded. "Gaius attacked an Auror and you guys aren't even mad?"

Sam held up a hand to keep his teammates from replying and focused on the brunet Junior Auror. "You've already got most of the pieces. See if you can put 'em together." A finger went up. "Leon, the idiot, just gave you the biggest piece."

Neal frowned, confused. "I thought that was just a joke from that guy Gwaine."

The sniper smiled mirthlessly and shook his head.

"You mean…he wasn't kidding about that Once and Future Knights thing?"

Wordy snorted and Jules laughed even as Ed rolled his eyes. The Sergeant cleared his throat. "Hint number two. The first name of Team Four's bomb tech is Mordred."

"And if you leave their Sergeant out, the others are Leon, Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan," Jules put in.

"Third hint, back when Sam was kidnapped by his old squad, Giles found an old tome from the time of Camelot, written by Camelot's Court Physician. That's how we figured out one of Sam's kidnappers was a Shade." Wordy paused, waiting for Neal's wary nod. "The Court Physician's name was Gaius."

Neal's eyes bugged out, jaw dropping open. "But that's impossible. The legends are only about the Once and Future King!"

"Tell that to them," Sam countered, grinning at the Junior Auror. Then he shot a glance at Ed. "Why didn't you tell us?"

The Sergeant huffed. "I didn't know all the details," he admitted. "Remember a couple months back, we needed to cover Team Four's shift once?" At the nods from his teammates, he shrugged. "The Boss told me about Lancelot, but that was it. All I knew till tonight is that Team Four was having trouble and he needed us to cover for 'em while he helped Troy straighten some stuff out. I thought it was 'cause they were having trouble with the whole 'magic is real' bombshell."

"But why would Lieutenant Parker tell you about Lancelot?" Neal asked, confused.

Lane felt a smirk creep across his face. "Because, back in the day, Lancelot's last name was different." The smirk widened, waiting for maximum impact. When Neal crossed his arms, he announced, "Sir Lancelot's last name was Calvin."

"No way," Neal countered. "That would make him a Wild Mage. I haven't seen him use magic even once."

Ed hiked one shoulder. "I don't think he uses it much. You'd have to ask him why, though."

"Later," Lou put in. "I think they're goin' back for round two with the Pensieve."

The constables and their Sergeant glanced over just in time to see the former Court Physician conjure a plush, comfortable chair to add to the circle of chairs around the testimony Pensieve. Soft, Sam whispered, "Let's hope the old guy comes up with somethin'."

"Copy that," Jules agreed.

Gaius did not permit himself to sigh, rub his forehead, or show any other visible sign of disappointment. Outside of a dire situation, the Court Physician did not believe in doing anything that might discourage a patient. And while Lieutenant Parker's situation might indeed fall into that category, it was sheer folly to make assumptions before he'd even had a chance to research the situation.

The old sorcerer did allow a thoughtful hum as he regarded the results of his diagnostic. Latin-based, of course, but his knowledge of the Old Religion permitted his Latin spellcasting to pick up valuable details that would've otherwise gone undetected. That was really the trick to using Latin spells around the Old Religion – so long as one understood the type of magic they were trying to examine, it didn't matter if the spells were cast in Latin or the Old Tongue.

Unfortunately, despite examining the Pensieve memory from beginning to end, thoroughly dissecting the notes collected by the officers, and then analyzing the spell itself with a variety of diagnostics, Gaius was no closer to a solution than he'd been when he'd first arrived. He and Mordred had debated the altered Judgment spell right down to the syllables used by Morgause, but their ultimate conclusion remained the same.

Invoked by a High Priestess of the Old Religion and backed by the full might of the Triple Goddess, there was no way to end the Judgment spell before it ran its course. Nor was there any way they could discern what actions were required to complete Judgment. Lieutenant Parker's animal side knew, but the geas (5) Morgause had included in her variant was preventing him from relating anything beyond the hints his human side had already relayed at great cost.

Robbed of Parker's knowledge by default, their only option was to research the Old Religion and perhaps locate a counter-ritual, one which would allow them to plead their case before the Triple Goddess. Even if She refused to end Judgment, perhaps She would be merciful enough to grant them knowledge of the Judgment's requirements.

Or perhaps Sergeant Lane's phone call to Merlin would bear fruit – ideally, Merlin would come himself. Gaius paused, permitting himself to imagine the expression on his former ward's face, and an unaccustomed sense of mischief and glee welled up. Oh, that would be a reunion to behold and he very much hoped he could recruit one of the officers to photograph the scene. Perhaps even videotape it.

And after that? Gaius knew Merlin well; his ward would never allow Judgment to stand, even if he had to bully the Triple Goddess into renouncing Her claim on Parker's soul. Amusing, perhaps, but if anyone could bully a goddess, Emrys could.

They might well need him to.

[5] Literally 'taboo', this is a form of magical compulsion that forces those under it to obey or suffer the consequences.

Author Note: Since my next post won't be for another 2 weeks... Merry Christmas, everyone!

I will be posting a Christmas oneshot on Christmas, so I hope all of you will enjoy that.

No updates on when Mom will be getting her pacemaker, which I'm kinda irked about. I mean, we gave up the Christmas vacation and now the doctors keep dithering and not really helping her. It's absurd! Unfortunately, all I can do is support them as best I can from several states away. If I was there, I'd definitely have a few things to say to the doctors, along the lines of: Stop dithering about salt and potassium. Mom knows to keep cutting back on that, she's been doing it for six months. Now let's talk about a real solution.

But I'm not there and Mom is too exhausted by all of this to push back or even seek a second opinion. So for those of you who are praying for her, please pray that the Lord would provide His Solution to this problem very soon so that we can have our Christmas vacation in April of next year. I'm honestly worried that if the doctors keep dithering and pushing my parents around, I won't be able to see them again until next Christmas. : (

I know that the Lord is Good, that He is in control, and that my family's problems are small compared to many families right now. So - if any of my readers has a prayer request, I would be honored to pray for you. If you send your prayer request in a signed review or a PM, I will reply as soon as I can. If it's an unsigned review, I will still pray, but I won't be able to respond.

May the Lord Bless all of you reading my stories and your families.

Merry Christmas!