NOTES:For those that are following and enjoying this story (for some reason) I sincerely apologise for the lack of chapters these past months. This story has not been abandoned. I will be posting chapters with more frequency in the next weeks to compensate. Feel free to yell at me in the comments. Enjoy!

Chapter 12 - Take all that I am, Break the silver cord (I don't belong in this world anymore)

Everything hurt.

The sky bled water the same as the plethora of wounds cried fat tears of dark blood.

The price of freedom sure is steep. He thought as a coughing fit attacked him, his chest, riddled with holes, burning like he was laying down on magma, and not a pool of his own blood. Slowly being washed away by the rain.

Moans of pain and mud being moved reached his ears through the ringing. With his fading vision he saw a blurry shape, moving and yellow. I just wish he hadn't paid for it too.

"For the… both of… us" It hurt to talk, but it hurt even more thinking of leaving his friend alone.

"You're… gonna…" Somehow, there was strength left in him. A shaky arm brought his sword closer; The heavy, heavy, blade, and offered it to the man.

"Live."

"GAAH!"

Nathan startled awake, body jumping into a sitting position. His head felt light and dizzy as he tried to catch his breath. His hand missed the curtain, before pulling it open, cold fresh air hitting his face. He barely felt it.

He jumped to his feet, going to the bathroom as fast as he could with his nausea. The room swam in waves in his vision, every head movement making it seem like the place was spinning fast and slow at once.

The mirror told him an ever worsening story. Bloodshot and dilated eyes, dark and noticeable circles under them. His skin looked more and more like curdled milk. He brushed his teeth as fast as he could, eyes down to the sink.

No one was awake, but his footsteps were not silent. His calendar told him what was in store for him today: Hogsmeade.

With no clue of what to expect of the place, he prepared himself for the day.

The town was cozy and warm, contrasting heavily with the chill of the snow. It was picturesque. It made him uncomfortable.

Stone buildings with wooden roofs littered the sides of the streets, stores and houses mingling together in harmony. There was a bookstore, then an apothecary. Then what looked like a house dressed like a clown, swarming with students. He'd come back later.

A building caught his attention. Short but wide, flowers growing all around it. A faded plaque announced its name, but he didn't look. His feet took him inside.

A soft chime announced his presence, but no one came. There were plants all around. Very few he recognized from his herbology textbook. Most dizzied him with their vibrant colors.

Blue, red, yellow, pink, all the colors mesmerizing Nathan and bringing him closer. A quiet white one seemed to stand out, hiding in between pastel yellow lilies and blue sylleblossoms.

He touched them tenderly, feeling their soft texture and smelling the heady scent.

His head felt light and his ears rang in the silence. He could see the static in the edge of his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was occupied in the garden. Welcome to Fantasy Flowers! How may I help you?"

Nathan startled, turning to see a woman in a dress and apron, dirt in some spots. Her face was gentle, smiling with warm green eyes. The ringing continued and the static festered.

He forced himself to stop staring. "Hi, I'm just, um, looking around." His voice came out far away to his own ears, and as gentle as his touch upon the flowers. He turned back to them, as if being pulled.

"Those are moonflowers. I would advise you to be careful, they can release a toxin if you're too rough with them."

Her voice rang out closer, Nathan turning his head to see her beside him, also reaching out to the same flower. "They're very hard to cultivate, but I find them to be more than worth it."

His gaze lingered on her pretty face, soft with gentleness. The ringing crescendoed, and the grain blinded him. He blinked to clear his vision.

Only the woman and the flowers were clear in his vision now. Everything else drowned out by the waves.

With a voice that wasn't his own he asked. "What is its meaning?" His words were a whisper, afraid to break the moment.

The woman turned to him and his breath caught as bright and big green eyes stared at him. "They're a symbol of guidance. They're said to illuminate the dark paths and guide spirits in their journey."

A blink, and her face changed once more. She turned back to the plants, braid lazily swinging with the movement.

He kept looking at her, unable to breathe properly. He forced his gaze back to the calling white. There was something nagging at him, voices in his head drowned by the sea.

"Do they have another name?" He seemed back in control, but his voice still sounded foreign.

"Hmm." The woman straightened, pouting and putting a finger to her chin. His heart ached for a beat at the scene. "The muggles' scientific name for it is alba something, can't really recall."

He knew that wasn't the answer he wanted, so he stared back at the flowers, willing his brain to remember.

The sound of fingers snapping beside him sounded like the unlocking of a door. His vision flared with static.

"Lunar Tears!""Lunar Tears."

The woman turned to Nathan, a strange emotion in her eyes. He turned back to the flowers. "How much for one?" He asked softly, voice back to his own.

"Hmm. That depends on the customer. In your case…" Her gaze traveled over him, his face heating up at her attention. Her eyes settled back on his own, lips in a smile. "It's on the house!"

His heart lurched painfully again, and he reached with shaky hands for the offered flower, clutching it close to his chest and looking at it through the sand in his eyes.

A blink and her face changed. Another blink and it morphed back, green eyes duller. Face less warm.

"Come back again!" She waved enthusiastically to him as he walked out the door, him waving back with less energy.

He watched through the glass as she took a corner, pink ribbon holding her ponytail the last thing he saw. His lightheadedness went with her, along with the ringing in his ears.

He took a deep breath, before walking back into town, the flower in his trembling hand.

There was a graveyard.

He should've expected it. People lived in this place. They would die in it. But mortality often escaped people's minds, for one reason or another.

Wandering slowly amidst the dead, head buzzing with static, Nathan felt a myriad of emotions. None of them were elation. None of them were fear.

There had been nothing else truly exciting about the town, just more and more houses. All blending together in harmony with the milling students. His discomfort had grown, so he explored on the outskirts.

Part of the forest touched the outer walls, and he followed its path to find a decrepit shack, moaning in the biting wind. His interest in it waned in minutes. He kept walking.

The surrounding mountains painted a beautiful scene with the golden sun on the white snow. This painting made him less uncomfortable. He kept walking.

His aimless meandering had brought him to this graveyard, overlooking the village. Even from here he could see people walking about with friends. He turned his attention to the buried.

It was smaller than he would've thought. Maybe some of the dead get resurrected. Like zombies. He did nothing to stop the horrible thought.

Tombstones of all kinds littered the grounds in a haphazard manner, no rhyme or reason. A mirror to the lives of the deceased.

His feet took him further in, gaze traveling through the names written in stone, wondering how often they were visited. Wondering if they found peace. Wondering if he would.

"And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Don't you think, Achi-"

Nathan turned to the voice, but no one was there. A shaky sigh left his lips, and he continued walking, eyes of a ghost sending chills down his spine.

Nathan reached the end of the site, going through a small metal gate. He made sure it was shut, even if the walls were easy to hop over, before turning around.

Some ways away there was a single tree. Not very tall, but wide and sinuous, as if trying to reach everywhere all at once. At its base there was a sword, a piece of cloth lazily swaying in the wind. Static filled his ears and eyes.

Nathan approached before he even noticed, crouching in the space that was clear of snow. His hands touched the blade, the rough textures an alarming contrast from the flower still in his hands. It was somehow comforting.

He could feel every chip, every scar beneath his finger, each telling a story. The ringing in his ears stopped, his vision cleared. His gaze traveled to the cloth wrapped around it. Dull, dirty and full of holes. Still, it clung to the sword, shining and glowing soft blue like a star.

Nathan let his hand fall down to his side, before looking up at the leaves, watching the snow fall through the gaps and land around him.

He closed his eyes and brought his hands together, praying for the person beneath him to find their peace. He opened his eyes and stood up, turning around and walking away.

He stopped, hesitating to take another step. With a sigh, he crouched back down, dug in the living earth, and buried the flower right by the blade.

He watched the petals sway with the shroud on the breeze, before getting up once more, and walking away.

Nathan was exhausted, which was really ironic. In a very not funny way. I was supposed to relax and have fun dammit. Even his inner voice had no energy.

He passed the clown shop, which seemed empty now, but didn't enter. He had no money anyway. He frankly just wanted to lay down in his bed for the rest of the day.

"Well, don't you look chipper today!"

It took way longer than it should have for him to recognize the voice, but he did, and turned around to see Luna staring at him with her unnerving gaze.

"Did you get lost again?" She walked closer, peering up at him. "I was worried this would happen." The girl grabbed one of his hands, and dragged him in the direction he had been going.

"Where you taking me?" He exerted no force in fighting the girl's grip.

"Back to the castle. I think the nargles got to you." He expression was as dreamy as it often was, but he was sure there was concern in her glassy eyes.

He asked nothing more as she pushed him in a carriage and hopped in beside him, talking about the creatures she had been looking for around the town. Where he normally would ask questions he stayed quiet. The girl didn't stop talking, but he knew he would feel horrible later. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

The girl shook him awake, worry shining in her eyes. "We're here."

Nathan followed her, not paying attention to where they were going. The small nap had helped with the exhaustion in his bones, but made his eyelids droopy. He didn't notice when the girl vanished and reappeared, only taking notice when she put a pastry and a mug in his hands.

"It's coffee. It always helps me in my late hunts!" Her smile was wide, but a little brittle. He indulged the girl and took a sip.

And immediately spat it back. "Ugh. Did you not put any sugar in, you crazy woman?!" No caffeine entered his system, but already he felt more awake. He took a bite of the pastry to cleanse his tongue. Pain au chocolat, his brain supplied.

Luna's smile grew wider, before she looked at him with mock shock. "I cannot believe you just asked me that!" She twirled on her hills, marching forwards. "I must find someone else to assist me in my searches!"

Nathan simply rolled his eyes and followed her, taking small sips of his coffee in between bites.

"I really like the hobby I stole from you!" The non sequitur came after a long stretch of silence, utterly confusing him. But she continued before he could ask. "Wandering the castle yields a lot of interesting finds!"

He dragged his free hand on his face, forgetting the oil from the food. "Walking isn't really a hobby. Much less mine!" Maybe I shouldn't have encouraged her.

"Don't people go for morning walks? Or hikes?"

"Completely different things."

"I dont think so!" The girl turned, walking backwards with arms on her back, eyes twinkling at him. His heart lurched again. "I find a lot of interesting things! Like the fighting suits of armor. Or the painting of the man painting a man painting!"

His head spun trying to understand the last thing. Luna turned back around with a cheeky grin on her face, hopping from feet to feet.

"Or the music playing in the corridor."

Nathan paused mid sip, before gulping down the last of the coffee. He said nothing.

"I always hear it right around…" She took long strides to a door by their left. "Here!"

Luna had a knowing look in her eyes. He couldn't stay silent. "Is it like a ghost or soming'?" His voice came out less casual than he had hoped.

"I dont know." She put a finger to her chin, tilting her head. "Are you?"

He didn't even try anymore. "How?"

"You just told me." The shit eating grin was back on her face.

"Oh don't even-." He didn't finish, as the girl pulled him inside the room.

The room looked the same as he had left it, not a single thing untouched. It immediately brought comfort to his weary frame.

The girl sauntered over to the table with the guitar, running her soft fingers almost reverently across the instrument. He took his usual seat, slouching down leaning towards the window, the cool breeze hitting his face as he looked outside.

He turned his head to see Luna standing in front of him, hands outstretched, offering him his guitar. He eased it into his lap with a sigh, tuning it, the girl settling atop the table across from him.

Numbness spread through his body, and he welcomed it with open arms this time, the shakiness fleeing from his fingers.

He adjusted his position on the seat, and closed his eyes.

She watched him change in front of her very eyes, body relaxing the most she had ever seen from the ever stressed man.

His fingers expertly moved across the instrument, eyes closed through the whole process. A beautifully haunting melody started through the air, and for a moment she envisioned an orchestra playing, its mere presence giving weight to the music.

But it was just one man.

"I don't wanna walk away, but I don't wanna see your face. It's all too much for me."

She froze as he started singing, almost choking on the amount of emotion in his voice.

"Sometimes I wanna be alone, the comfort I feel on my own is all I'll ever need."

It wasn't the most beautiful singing she had ever heard, definitely nothing professional.

"I know it's hard for you to take. I'll make you leave before you stay. 'Cause one's enough for me."

She closed her eyes, feeling the breeze going through her hair, and hearing the rain softly falling outside.

Comforting arms enveloped her, holding her in a warm, tender embrace. Soft humming came from above her, a hand gently combing her tresses, as they slowly swayed from side to side.

"You treat me like I'm all there is. A tender touch and gentle kiss. And still I want to leave."

A single tear escaped from her closed eyelids.

"Wish I could sing myself to sleep." "Wish I could sing myself to sleep."

The melody continued, soft strumming accompanied by the staccato of the rain. Her mothers embrace tightened momentarily, before letting go with a parting kiss to her head, and she almost cried out for her to not go.

Her eyes opened to see Nathan staring at her, his face the most peaceful she had ever seen, eyes glowing from the light hitting it.

She took some time to gather herself, staring out at the falling rain. "So…" She turned to see her friend now looking awkward, fidgeting with the instrument in his hands. "Was that what you expected?"

"Mom used to sing to me when we sat watching the rain." Luna said in a whisper, voice shaky. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes. "Your voice reminds me of it." She turned her gaze back out the window, waiting for the tears to be gone.

"Of your mom?" He asked, voice just as soft as hers had been.

"Yes" Her hand reached out the window, letting the refreshing water fall on it. "But it also reminds me of the rain…" She brought her hand back inside, letting the water slowly trail down her arm. "It's comforting."

Silence stretched across them as she continued gazing at the trail of moisture. How beautiful it was, to see it create its patterns down her skin, as if nature itself was touching her.

"I'll sing for you." Her head raised with a snap. He was looking at the ground, biting his lips, before straightening up and looking her in the eyes. "Whenever you want."

She stood from her seat, almost lunging across to hug him, the guitar awkwardly trapped between them. "Scoot over!" She said after letting go of him, stepping to his side and shoving him to the side, taking a seat beside him.

Like the good friend he was, he only scoffed but didn't complain, settling in and starting to play another song without lyrics.

As she closed her eyes again, Luna felt warm hands going through her hair.

Nathan lay in his bed, exhaustion seeped deep into his soul. As he felt the mattress mold to his shape, and the muscles on his back relax, he slowly closed his eyes, too tired to fear the dream that would come.

The image of a beautiful and warm woman, sitting behind Luna, swaying softly and caressing her head was the last thing in his mind before he succumbed to sleep.