Chapter 13
It had been a particularly hot day, causing everyone to resort somewhere indoors for the majority of the day. The main house was a little patchy on AC, because the house's bones were old and for environmental reasons. Rory's bedroom in the main house, for one, faced the southern side of the facade and even with the window shades blocking out most of the warmth, by the evening the room was still a little too hot to her liking.
It was after dinner, a movie and quick dinner of some light salad with Gigi at the mall - the best AC around that Gigi had sworn by. Feeling all sweaty and exhausted, wearing barely more than her underwear, Rory exhaled loudly, not finding a comfortable spot in the otherwise very generous guest room she had to herself. She knew she could give some other part of the house a go, but that would've required putting on clothes. Besides, she was never much of a comfortable house guest, not wanting to be in the way of the family that actually housed this place.
Needing to do something, the bedspread feeling too hot against her skin, she pulled herself upright, took a sip of water but that barely did anything to relieve the heat. She glanced out of the side window and saw the glistening blue water of the pool. The thought of a dip into some water, seemed utterly enticing.
Feeling all sticky and sweaty, plus exhausted as a result, she glanced out of the side window and realized that the pool was actually in the shade right about now. The thought of a dip into some water, seemed utterly enticing compared to the shower that only seemed to suffice for a few seconds.
There was an added draw and some tentativeness as well related to this idea of going down to the pool at this hour, however. The pool house also housed Logan.
Rory didn't really know what he was up to in the present, knowing just enough that he usually spent parts of his day working remotely - and it was still daytime in Europe.
But ever since they'd talked two nights ago, Rory's mind had circled back to him more and more, even without seeing him too much due to spending some time with her sister one-on-one for a change. Not seeing him had been in part a blessing, giving her a chance to think, but at the same time she was a little worried he might think she was avoiding him intentionally.
She didn't really know what she wanted that relationship to form into - but she was curious of the friendship or rather the possibility of it. In the past week it was the private moments that caused her to feel something she hadn't felt in a while – an excitement of a possibility. She realized that mostly this was just playing with fire, or even just indulging the imagination of a woman in the midst of a relationship that was falling to pieces back home. She didn't expect anything to happen, despite feeling the presence of that former chemistry.
But it was a flirt with that possibility, needing to elevate her self-esteem even by Logan's occasional glance, that made her slip on her change into her swimsuit and flip flops, and make her way downstairs. She just wanted to feel heard and seen. A small part of her was also curious of this newfound layer of honesty - could they indeed share things with each other than they hadn't in the past, having now heard the other admit that their lives weren't perfect but the kind that one couldn't really complain about without sounding entitled.
Making her way downstairs, and from there down the outside staircase to the pool house, past the lush vegetation, Rory kept scolding herself for doing this, thinking this was silly for someone her age to even hope for anything. Exciting things didn't really happen to someone like her anymore. She wondered whether Logan was even there or whether he'd even notice, or whether he'd actually react to it in some way. She could just picture his smirk and tone in case he did.
Sucking in her stomach just a little, Rory slipped her towel off and stepped out of her flip-flops. Logan made her want to be better, braver, more interesting and… sexier than she'd been these past 5-6 years.
The water was warmer than she'd anticipated, but still cooler than the outside air. Rory let out a deep exhale as she sank deeper into the water.
She swam a few breaststrokes, keeping her head above the water, not being a very skillful swimmer. Secretly she tried to prepare herself for disappointment - Logan was probably already asleep or wasn't paying any attention to what was going on outside his door. Not every impulsive craving… for something… was supposed to be met.
But just as Rory was about to swim back across the pool, Logan emerged from the pool house, tucking his hands into the pockets of his shorts. That same smug smile Rory had been able to picture, formed onto his face.
Rory had her back towards him, and that was perhaps a good thing, considering how he struggled to hide his appreciation of her presence. He'd been having a battle of his own – knowing it was not his place to want anything. Like so many times before, Rory was the one with the control.
Rory turned and nearly thought she was seeing a mirage. Surely, this sight that was in front of her couldn't be real.
Logan was standing at the side of the pool, wearing shorts and a white light button-up shirt, mostly unbuttoned, barely hiding his chest. It was a sight that caused Rory to hold her breath for a moment.
"Well, this is a nice surprise," Logan commented.
"Um, yeah, I just couldn't stand the heat anymore. My room was too stuffy," Rory said, innocently.
"It's better with the windows open, you should try creating a draft," Logan said, noting upstairs, indicating he knew well behind which windows Rory's room was.
"Yeah, sure, but have you seen the size of the spiders around here?" Rory said, explaining why she'd been reluctant to do so until now.
"Haven't had any in mine yet," Logan tried to ease her, realizing that that had almost come out sounding like an invite.
"Well, you obviously have a bug net," Rory said, nervously, having made the observation earlier.
"I bet you have one, too," Logan replied.
"I'll have to check it out later," Rory said, not knowing what else to add to that exchange.
The air was thick with anticipation. Not for them to just fall into bed together again - no, not at this point. But of something.
"Mind if I join you? Just to hang out," Logan suggested.
"Of course. If anything, I'm the one crashing your pool," Rory replied, realizing well how this pool was technically not his.
"My mind is completely fried from the call I had with our office in Hamburg. It takes a special amount of patience to deal with their tax schemes," Logan commented.
"Oh, those Hamburg…ians!" Rory exhaled, questioning her grammar for a second, not entirely seriously. She had some experience herself with German bureaucracy.
"Yeah, we've been dealing with this big merger…," Logan began to explain, without going into the boring details too much. Not that Rory would've noticed too much anyway, considering Logan unbuttoned the last few buttons of his shirt, threw it onto the recliner, and continued to step out of his shorts. He didn't have swimwear underneath, but a simple pair of black stretchy trunks.
Rory needed a way to distract herself, knowing she hadn't exactly had the strongest of will powers in the past to suggest something she wasn't supposed to. So, Rory did what she knew - she asked about the business, it having been a topic Logan had often vented to her about when they'd been in contact. They were good listeners to each other, both understanding a great deal about what the other worked with and the business. Logan never had to talk down to her, simply things, like many of his dates in the past, but under the circumstances, being exhausted himself and simply happy to be casually talking to Rory like this again, he kept things light, adding a healthy amount of irony and self-criticism.
"And you remember Bobby, right? Well, Odette and Bobby showed up wearing the exact same shoes and as you can imagine it was the biggest drama for the two," Logan said, finishing a story about a business event that had turned into a small-scale scandal and not just because of the shoe fiasco.
"Right," Rory chuckled, enjoying the way they'd both relaxed around each other.
They weren't really swimming, just hanging out in the water, leaning against the edge of the pool, on occasion moving one's legs or arms.
"Listen, I'm sorry - I didn't mean to bring her up… I just forgot for a sec," Logan apologized, having not meant to bring up Odette.
"It's fine. You can talk about her," Rory said, not that she was loving hearing about her part in his life, but then again there was a generous dose of curiosity in her, too.
"I meant what I said," Logan assured, having talked a little more two nights ago.
"Which part?" Rory asked.
"The part… every part," Logan replied, adding - "But in particular - the part about us being honest with each other?" reminding her.
"I am being honest," Rory replied.
"Are you really? I can understand if Odette is not your favorite subject, I know it wasn't back then… in London," Logan assured.
"No, really…," Rory insisted. "In fact, I can prove it by asking you a question about her," she added.
"Shoot!" Logan encouraged, feeling strangely both proud of her and disappointed that she seemed so uninfluenced by it, having hoped she felt something more - even if just a lingering feeling from old times.
"I assume you've talked to her this past week, right?" Rory said.
"I have," Logan confirmed. He really didn't touch in with her on a daily basis, but they did talk, keeping each other in the loop.
"Did you tell her that you saw me? That I'm here and that we're talking?" Rory said, momentarily catching Logan off guard. He knew she was asking more than just that with this question.
"Are you asking me whether I'm lying about how liberal our marriage is?" Logan replied, feeling a little offended.
"No, I'm not…," Rory said. She did trust his word. She always had. "I just don't want this to be something shameful, even if it's just us catching up or talking. Something I'm supposed to hide. Who knows, maybe she'll turn up for the wedding and then I'll have to explain to her how I am not out to steal her husband," Rory said, not really thinking of the latter so seriously.
Logan laughed over Rory's elaborate imaginary scenario.
"There's nothing shameful. But sure, fine… I haven't told her specifically because I don't want her to worry. She's been a bundle of emotions with the fertility treatments, and I just don't want to create unnecessary stress for her. And she's not going to show up, she hates long flights," Logan explained.
Rory frowned, not loving this response.
"She knows who you are. She'd know that being here with you was a little more complicated than just being here with just anyone. She knows what you meant to me," Logan explained.
"She does?" Rory reacted, needing to clear her voice. She hadn't realized that. She was also moved to hear him again assure her, in his own way, that she'd meant something to him.
"I mean, there were piles of your boxes in my closet for the better part of a year at one point. They were a little hard to miss. And while generally we don't overly share things of that nature, we respect each other enough not to hide things either," Logan explained.
"So, why not tell her now? We're just friends, aren't we?" Rory asked, feeling like this was very much falling in the gray area between saving her from stress and respecting her.
"If that's what you want," Logan replied, his deep voice resonating in a familiar way.
"I can even talk to her if you want me to. I can assure her...," Rory said, not even knowing what she was saying. Not in a million years had she expected to speak to Odette, or assure her of something she was secretly still contemplating over, despite knowing it wasn't technically fair to anyone.
"Yeah, I don't think that's necessary," Logan replied, not wanting to put her in that uncomfortable position.
"So, you'll tell her?" Rory wanted reassurance.
"I will. I promise," Logan said, finding himself conflicted about the matter. A part of him didn't want to tell her, a part of him just didn't want to tell Odette there was nothing to worry about, because with Rory… he almost wanted there to be something to worry about.