Author's Note:Hello everyone! I am floored by the support and interest my story has received. This chapter follows the common favourite episode with Iroh and his son, Zuko and his date, and Katara bonding with Toph. Oh and Momo's special day. We don't get to see all of their stories though, we get to see Mira's. Also, we finally get to hit the first kiss!
Which first kiss I wont say thought ;)
P.S. my Zuko Alone chapter had a lot of positive feedback, so I want to ask you all if you want to have a Zuko perspective 'chapter' of the date he goes on with Jin? If so, I will add it as a bonus mini chapter on the next chapter since it isn't quite enough story to dedicate a full chapter too.
~Chapter 8 Start~
It had been two days since Jet had been taken away. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to him, but hardly had the time to care. Life went on as they say, and today wasn't any different. Today, the shop was finishing it's repairs so we had the morning off. Which of course meant Iroh wanted us to go shopping, run errands, and decorate our small apartment. I was all for it, excited to do something so mundane yet rare for us. Zuko however, was sour about the whole idea. He still had trouble connecting with the people here as well as trusting them enough to relax. It was tiring to be so paranoid, but Zuko had been conditioned too for his survival; much the same way I had been lately.
"Wouldn't this pot look dashing in that empty corner of our apartment?" Iroh asked as he inspected a brown knee height pot with maroon trim and a dark green diamond patterned band across the middle.
"It's simple, but it's still striking." I appraised, taking a closer look at the pot.
"It's useless is what it is. We don't need to fill up our tiny apartment with pointless objects." Zuko scoffed.
"It's not about the amount of space you have my nephew, but about what you do with it." Iroh replied.
"I don't think that's that part he had an issue with..." I said with a small sigh.
"Oh no, I absolutely have an issue with how small our apartment is as well." Zuko grumbled.
Of course he did. I snorted to myself as I realized how much he still seemed to hate Ba Sing Se. Iroh and I had found a simple joy in our life here, but Zuko still seemed to be stuck clinging to the past. It became more apparent the more Iroh grew comfortable playing the part of a refugee. Just as our friendship had slowly changed, so had his anger towards Iroh and our circumstances. I stepped away from the pot to give Zuko a piteous look, crossing my arms childishly.
"What, you don't enjoy sharing a room with me?" I asked with a fake pout.
"That's not what I meant and you know it." Zuko said, pinning me with his stare.
"Fine, take the fun out of it," I muttered as I turned towards the merchant with a defiant grin. "We'll take this pot."
I turned my head back around to give Zuko a smug look, sticking my tongue out a little for effect. He responded with a stern glare before stomping away from the pot merchant. What a drama queen, honestly. I rolled my eyes and fished out the money for the pot and handed the coins over to the merchant. Iroh picked it up and followed Zuko as if nothing was wrong at all. Wishful thinking on his part I guess.
"What else do we need?" I further inquired as I skipped next to Iroh.
"We still need to pick up some groceries for dinner, as well as some decorative pillows for the windowsill." Iroh answered.
"Pillows for the windowsill, why on earth would we need pillows for the window?" Zuko spat out, giving Iroh an annoyed look.
"Well, since you two enjoy using it as a seat late into the night, I figured pillows would make it more comfortable." Iroh answered with a twinkle in his eye.
I blinked at Iroh while Zuko stared at him, mouth agape. I turned towards Zuko watching his face slowly turn red as his awestruck face contorted into a look of anger. He stomped after Iroh, avoiding looking at me as he went. I let out a small chuckle, skipping to follow after them. Well, that was certainly fun, time to buy some pillows since Iroh mentioned it.
~Break~
I felt like I was dancing on air. It felt like I had finally found a safe place to call home for the first time in what felt like forever. The tea shop was busier than ever and we hadn't been able to get much time off since the day the shop had it's window repaired. Zuko and I were falling into a comfortable routine, the stability providing us a sense of balance and purpose. We would work together during the day, and in the evening we would spend our time talking and getting to know one another better. He would tell me about his home, and in return I would tell him about mine; without mentioning the fact I was from the future. Slowly the breach between our worlds, and lives, closed and we were finding more and more common ground.
He would share stories from his youth, talking mostly about his mother. I loved those stories the best, because he would always smile so wide his face would soften so he'd look young again. It was clear his mother was a kind soul that loved Zuko dearly. All in all, I couldn't complain. Each day it was becoming more and more like the home I had left behind. I worked, never worried for my safety, went home to my 'family', and saved up for silly trinkets that made me smile. Zuko still found Iroh's obsession with decorating our apartment pointless, but had stopped complaining by the third decorative pot he brought home.
Iroh had managed to get the morning off at the very least. I offered to pick up the slack after Zuko had advised me that it was Lu Ten's birthday today. I had wanted to do something for Iroh without letting him know I knew his pain of losing one's family too soon and this seemed perfect. So, after I had made a deal with Pao, I shooed Iroh out of the tea shop insisting that we were all worried he was overworking himself. It worked, and he left without too much of a complaint. There was a lecture or two on how to properly make tea, mostly directed at Zuko, but he eventually left. So here I was, manning the shop with Pao and Zuko. I had taken over brewing the tea after Zuko burned that last pot, taking the occasional breather to just watch the crowd.
"What do you think he's doing?" I asked as I waved at a customer who was leaving.
"Who knows. He's probably going to make a grave marker for Lu Ten and pray there." Zuko shrugged.
"Was Lu Ten buried here?" I asked.
"No, but Iroh will set something up for him. My guess is he's going to where he fell." Zuko explained as he dropped off more dirty cups.
"Yeah, that makes sense." I sighed.
I pulled the pot of boiling tea off the fire and allowed the tea leaves to finish steeping. It was strange to imagine Iroh right after he had lost his son. He had always been so happy and joyful the entire time I had known him. To find out he had lost his son the way he did struck a strange chord with me. Was I being selfish by wanting Iroh to replace my own lost family? Was this all just a toxic coping mechanism for us all? Me having lost everyone and everything I had ever known, Iroh having lost his birthright and son, and Zuko having lost his mother and his home. Maybe that's what drew us to one another, our collective losses and grief. Hopefully it would prove to be beneficial and not just codependent.
~Break~
Iroh had returned in time for the afternoon rush looking as jolly as ever. He was lovingly making a pot of tea while Zuko was serving one of the customers. I was washing some dishes, taking a break from the drain of constantly talking to people. I tucked some errant strands of hair away from my forehead and behind my ear before returning to drying the freshly washed dishes. Today was definitely the busiest we had been, thankfully we had hit a small lull. Wiping down the last tea cup with. Small towel, I was startled from my thoughts as Zuko rushed towards Iroh and I, slamming his tray down on the counter. The sharp smack was loud enough to echo off of the tile backing near the sink, but not quite loud enough to reach over the noise of our patrons.
"Uncle, Mira, we have a problem," He whispered as he leaned towards us, "one of the customers is onto us. Don't look now, but there was a girl over there at the corner table, she knows we're Fire Nation."
Iroh and I turned to look, but Zuko grabbed our arms and pulled us to face him again. Oh, he was glaring at us again. I guess he did say don't look, doesn't he know everybody looks if you say don't look? I gave him a bored look like I both didn't care nor believe his accusation about the girl. From what little I could see she looked like a harmless Earth Kingdom citizen. Frankly, I was more afraid of Sadar and his army finding us than some supposed detective genius buying cups of tea just so she could spy on us.
"Didn't I say don't look?" He hissed as he let us go.
"Sheesh, testy." I grumbled as I rubbed my arm.
"You're right, Zuko. I've seen that girl in here quite a lot. Seems to me she has quite a little crush on you." Iroh laughed as he scratched the back of his head.
"What?" Zuko spluttered, his face going slightly pink.
My stomach started to twist into knots as I cleared my throat. Guess it was easy to make Zuko blush, whatever. Not like I cared...except I totally did, that was the entire problem. Damn it, why was Iroh set on sabotaging my crush on Zuko. I mean, I know I hadn't made my feelings clear yet, but still. I silently fumed as I watched the girl wander towards the counter, looking at Zuko with an inquiring gaze.
"Thank you for the tea." Spoke spoke as she attempted to hand Zuko some money.
Zuko jumped, twisting back around to look at the girl. He took a moment to register what she was doing before he took the money and turned back around. Stiffly, he placed the money into the money box, pulling out her change. Clearly on autopilot, Zuko turned back around and gave her the change. Not even looking at her face, he grabbed the tray he had been busing and moved towards the sink. Zuko's movements were rigid, a clear sign he was uncomfortable and embarrassed.
"What's your name?" She asked, not getting the hint.
"My name's Lee. We just moved here." Zuko answered as he awkwardly glanced her way.
"Hi, Lee, my name's Jin. Thank you, and, well..." She smiled as she trailed off.
She was actually fairly pretty. She wore her black silky hair in twin braids that cascaded down her shoulders. She was wearing a loose green kimono and had dark wide almond eyes. I tried not to hate her, but the feeling growing in my stomach had me turning away to finish dealing with the dishes before I said something foolish. Stupid feelings, stupid pretty girl from Ba Sing Se, stupid me for not expecting Zuko to catch someone else's eye. We were on the run before, it wasn't really a concern back then. But now I felt silly and childish due to my recent thoughts. Finding my troubles incredibly trivial and benign compared to the looming threat of, well...everything else.
"I was wondering if you would like to go out some time?" She asked with a flush that mirrored Zuko's.
Her question was interrupted by the sound of teacup snapping in half. I stared at the crumbled pieces of pottery and realized I had bent the water against the dishes in a bout of anger. I blinked for a moment, letting go of the remaining pieces and running my hand under the cool water. I quickly healed my minor cuts and cleared my throat to interrupt the silence that had fallen around me. So much for keeping it cool, I was about as cool as a volcano right now.
"Uh...oops, my apologies, it slipped from my fingers." I laughed awkwardly as Iroh gave me an amused grin.
"He'd love to." Iroh answered for Zuko.
"Great. I'll meet you in front of the shop at sundown." Jin answered back.
I glared at Iroh's back before smiling towards Jin and turning back to the remaining dirty dishes. Stupid Iroh, stupid Jin, stupid Zuko, stupid fragile cup. Today was certainly a shitty day that's for certain. It's not fair that Zuko was going on a date with some random girl and not...me. It's not fair that I couldn't meet anyone now because I would just end up leaving them soon. It's not fair I was too much of a coward to ask Zuko out while Jin wasn't.
"Someone's angry." I heard Aang laugh.
I turned to see his translucent form leaning against the wall. Of course he was here to witness this, and of course he found it amusing. Sometimes I wondered how much he really knew about my future, other times I was comforted by the fact that at least I wasn't truly alone. Spirit Aang knew my secrets, he knew who I was and had accepted me entirely.
"Shut up..." I mumbled trying to avoid my own embarrassment.
"Uncle, why did you do that?" I heard Zuko complain as I went to help another customer, completely forgetting about the dishes I had been doing.
"Relax my nephew, it's important to go out and meet people. You're eighteen years old and have never been on a date. Enjoy yourself tonight." Iroh said clapping him on the back.
I didn't hear the rest of their talk as I engrossed myself in helping other customers. Introversion be damned, I could pretend to be an extrovert to ignoring the stinging in my chest for just a little while longer. In the lull of the night I can deal with all these chaotic emotions. Until then, I just had to fake it until I made it; at least that was something I was good at.
~Break~
It was just before dinner time when Iroh went to help Zuko get ready. I excused myself before I could catch him leaving to meet up with Jin for their date. I wasn't in the mood to deal with my feelings right now, nor Iroh's well intentioned prodding. So I left, deciding to go for a walk and explore the city. I had only really traveled in a small radius around our apartment and the tea shop we all worked at. Exploring served as a satisfactory distraction, so I chose a random direction and began to walk. Spirit Aang hadn't left yet, which I was thankful for.
He was still floating around me, following in silence as I disappeared down the street. I was hoping I could get some answers and insight tonight, or at least some sort of comfort. Perhaps figure out if younger Aang was here, maybe even join him. Part of me felt like maybe it was time, while the other half screamed at me that it was a petty rash decision. Zuko and I really did have an expiration date didn't we. I think I always knew that the clock was constantly ticking, I had just hoped we would have had longer together.
"You seem upset." Aang observed as he loomed in closer.
I found myself momentarily annoyed at his observation, feeling affronted at being so obvious. I squished it down and reminded myself that Aang was my friend and that he cared. The reason he knew me so well was because we grew to be such close friends. We shared a certain unique experience, being the Avatar. Something no one else would understand and yet somehow, despite all the odds, we didn't have to be alone in that journey.
"Yeah...wish I wasn't though." I sighed as I slowed down.
My anger deflated almost as instantly as it came. I was surprised by how well I had handled my emotions with what coping skills I had been able to learn. Perhaps this was what unconditional support and love felt like. Despite the fact that we were the reincarnation of the same person, there was something Aang had unique just to him. His kindness and soft heart that allowed him to cherish and cultivate meaningful relationships wherever he went. It was just easy to like Aang, something I knew wasn't a trait we shared.
"Well, where are we going for a walk then?" Aang asked as he came to stand beside me.
"Wherever he isn't." I sighed sadly, looking dejectedly back in the direction of my apartment.
"I can do that." Aang nodded as he led me through several alleyways
"Where are we going?" I asked, looking around at the deserted area he was dragging me through.
"You'll see." He smiled, intent on keeping it a secret.
~Break~
In the end I was thankful he had kept it a secret. He directed me through a twist and turn of streets, before stopping before a small patio covered with hung up candles. The tables were simple black wood with small Earth Nation symbols on the backs. Aang let me onto the patio and through the closed doors. Once inside I could feel the warmth and sound wash over me. At the far end was a stage with a young woman singing a love ballad. I was struck how familiar this felt and wondered why I assumed places like this were only unique to my time.
"What is this place?" I asked, turning to face Aang.
"It's a musical cafe. They allow people to sing any song they wish, or play any song they know. People always loved to gather here when I was younger." Aang smiled.
"How did you know to bring me here?" I asked.
"You mentioned how much you loved music and missed your...phone was it? Many times before. We used to come here a lot together. Funny enough, you're the one who introduced the place to me." Aang laughed.
"Self-fulfilling prophecy." I laughed along with him.
"It's also a slightly selfish wish. I've always loved hearing you sing. The songs from your time are quite unique and refreshing." Aang smiled.
"Is this your way of asking me to sing?" I quirked a brow.
"Only if you want too." Aang replied with begging eyes.
"Ok...fine, now what to sing..." I thought to myself.
I racked my thoughts in an attempt to think of what to sing. I wasn't quite able to find something I knew all the lyrics too at first. It had been a long time since I had heard many of the songs from my time. Outside of occasionally singing to myself and that one music night, I had been immersed in this time and it's various cultures. I finally thought of an old song that I had known since childhood, 'Addicted to Love'.
Finding an available seat was easy, the place was only half packed. It was probably because this was a place mostly known by locals in this specific area of the city. Aang had taken me on quite a long walk and I was pretty sure if it wasn't for time-travel shenanigans neither of us would have ever found it. Sitting down a waitress was with me almost immediately.
"What can I get you?" She asked, pointing towards a board above the front counter.
"Just some water with some ice please." I asked as she gave a short bow and hurried off.
"Think of a song yet?" Aang asked, sitting in an empty chair beside me.
"Yup, now I just need to wait for my turn." I smiled.
I looked up at the stage with a determined expression. I was going to be more like the Mira's I had left behind. Even if it could only be done through stolen moments away like this. I couldn't keep pretending whole parts of myself didn't exist. I was already forgetting where I came from and I couldn't let that happen any longer.
~Break~
I walked onto the stage and cleared my throat. I looked at Aang who gave me two big thumbs up and I took a deep breath to begin. I knew how to sing in front of a crowd, but I usually had backup music and a sound system to assist me. Here, I would have to project and produce my own music. I knew how to play the guitar and a bit of the piano from my musical father, but had yet to see either of those instruments in this time. Guess all I could do was provide myself my own percussion. Thank goodness the start of this song was acapella.
"Your lights are on, but you're not home. Your mind is not your own. Your heart sweats, your body shakes, another kiss is all it takes. You can't sleep, you can't eat. There's no doubt, you're in deep. Your throat is tight, you can't breathe, another kiss is all you need. Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah. It's closer to the truth, to say you can't get enough. You're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love." I sang.
I stomped my foot three times before beginning to sing as I clapped my hands twice before stomping once. This was where the instruments usually kicked in, full of stringed instruments. I had never learned the drums, but in band I did watch as they were instructed and taught alongside my own section. I had also seen the movie rent, so I used what little knowledge I had to fill in the silence.
"You see the signs, but you can't read. You're running at a different speed. Your heart beats in double time. Another kiss, and you'll be mine, a one track mind. You can't be saved, oblivion is all you crave. If there's some left for you, you don't mind if you do. Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah. It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough. You're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love." I continued.
People began to clap and stomp with me following the tempo I set. I began to smile wide as everyone got into the song. I began to sway to the music in my head as I kept the beat going. My stomps kept me on track as I traced the sound of the instruments inside my head. Guess the joke that a band without a conductor was uncoordinated was true, thank goodness I could count beats.
"Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Your lights are on, but you're not home. Your will is not your own. You're heart sweats and teeth grind. Another kiss and you'll be mine. Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to this stuff, oh yeah. It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough. You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love." I was smiling wide as I sang now.
I wasn't hitting the notes perfectly but no one seemed to care. People were hollering and trying to sing along, while others kept up the claps and stomps with me.
"Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. Might as well face it, you're addicted to love." I finished the song and ceased my percussion.
People began clapping and cheering for me as I bowed. Hopping off the stage I sat down to hear someone else perform. I was full of adrenaline, allowing it to race through my veins at every pump of my heart. It had been so long since I had performed I hadn't realized I had missed it this much. I used to perform a lot of celtic music and irish dancing as a kid. I came from a proud irish lineage and my family would often perform together at culture festivals when I was younger. That was of course before I had moved away for university. Some of my family saw it as a sleight, I had never been as invested in those activities like they were.
My cousins loved it and never really understood my want to learn other disciplines, like sword fighting. My parents tried to support me but we never really connected much after that. I soon met Naia and gravitated towards her more openly supportive nuclear family. She understood my troubles and never once judged me. They were the first non-blood related people to give me a home, Zuko and Iroh were the second. I still tried to perform with my family whenever I returned home for the holidays, but it was never quite the same again.
"That was wonderful, please say you'll be back." The waitress all but asked as she gave me my glass of water.
"I probably will, thank you." I smiled as I took a deep sip.
I stayed there for a little while longer, watching as several other people performed, some of them twice. I had finished two waters by the time I decided to head home. It was already dark out and more than likely Zuko was done with his date, I hoped he was at least. Stepping out into the cold evening air was refreshing and I basked in the atmosphere for a second longer, clinging to the feeling of familiarity as I left.
~Break~
"Thank you for showing me that place." I thanked Spirit Aang as we were walking back home.
"You're very welcome. I enjoyed your song. Thank you for sharing it with me." He smiled, his eyes wandering along the sights.
Guess it had been a long time since he had seen the world of the living. I wondered if he missed it, or if it just felt nostalgic in the warm sense. It felt odd to think of Aang as sad, this older Aang that is. I felt like I had witnessed a private emotion as when his eyes hit mine his expression changed. He was still smiling, but it no longer had that almost sad edge.
"Anytime. Truthfully, everyone there was so nice, I really do want to go back." I grinned, giving Aang his privacy.
If I could go back and see my home again I would. Perhaps one day I would get to guide another Avatar. I wondered if I would look at the world as nostalgic as Aang did, or if I would be more excited because it had been so long. I wouldn't ever see my home again, not in this life anyway.
"Before you know it, all of Ba Sing Se will be singing songs from your time." He laughed, his mirth washing over me like. comforting hug.
"Wouldn't that be a change of pace." I giggled, getting caught up in his joy.
We were walking down the street when a beautiful fire lit fountain caught my eye. Stopping I stood and watched as the flames reflected off the water in beautiful symmetry. The fire seemed to dance across the ripples as a soft breeze blew past. It was captivating to see, contrasting with the darkness that swept through the city. You'd never see anything like this in a city, or really anywhere. There were no automatic lights in Ba Sing Se blocking out the twinkling of the stars nor the atmosphere of that candle-lit fountain.
"Wow, that's...breathtaking, isn't it." I said, mesmerized by the sight.
"It is." He agreed, following my slow approach towards the fountain.
I wanted to dip my fingers into the water and play with the reflections. Call it a childish whim, but I didn't care. Tonight I got t o be Mira in every single way, weird childish antics and all. I walked closer, reaching the first candle that was held by a long pole when movement caught my eye. I turned to look and caught sight of two people kissing next to the fountain. Doing a double take I realized the two people kissing were Zuko and Jin. I was stunned, unable to move, watching as they continued to embrace. As they started to part, I snapped back to reality letting out a small gasp. Turning on my heel, I fled the area, my face burning and my heart pounding.
Aang followed after me with a sad sigh, placing a hand on my back when I finally stopped. My chest was heaving as I came to terms with the fact that I had just caught Zuko kissing some random girl from the tea shop. My eyes were already burning as I swallowed a pitiful hiccup. The middle of the street was not a good place for a heartbroken breakdown. Standing up fully I darted down another alleyway to avoid being. caught by Zuko. I already felt embarrassed for how I felt, much less for interrupting them; what if I had been caught. I couldn't get get the picture of them out of my head. It was so bad that everytime I closed my eyes I saw his softened face kissing her back.
"Are you okay?" Aang asked, his expression softer than I had ever seen it before.
"Yeah...fine, I just...didn't expect to see that." I rushed to say, avoiding Aang's inquiring gaze.
I wasn't in the mood for a heart to heart about this and hoped that somehow Aang got that. He gave me a look that said he didn't really believe me, but otherwise left it alone, respecting my unspoken wishes. I decided I had enough of my evening adventure and wanted to go home. My body felt as heavy as lead and my chest wouldn't stop constructing at each intake of breath. The worst part was that I knew I couldn't face Zuko after this and that I would have to keep my distance. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying something we would both regret, I was much too emotional and raw right now. I had managed to calm my breathing when I reached our apartment complex and rushed myself up the steps towards our floor. Reaching the door to our apartment, I rushed inside and headed towards the kitchen to start making a cup of tea.
I was on autopilot when I heard Iroh from inside the bathroom and kept myself staring straight at the counter top as I gathered what I needed to make a cup of tea. My hands shook as I opened the tea bag, scooping a few spoonfuls into the pot. I opened the drawer and pulled out the spark rocks, attempting to light the stove's fire. I struck the spark rock once, failing to set the kindling alite. Taking a deep breath I tried once more, starting to feel agitated at each failed attempt to light a fire. The only fire successfully burning was the fire in my chest, and it was no longer caused by fluffy feelings towards Zuko. I was angry, embarrassed, and felt ashamed at what I was feeling and how I was reacting to them. Striking the rocks together and praying to the heavens, I felt my hands slip.
"Damn it!" I hissed as I failed to light the kindling once again.
"Hey, relax. What's going on?" Aang asked me as he stepped closer.
My hands were shivering horribly so I placed the spark rocks on the counter, attempting to stop my muscles from spamming. I drew my shaking hands down my legs, attempting to ground myself to the here and now before sitting down on the floor. Letting out a groan I slumped in on myself and flopped against the cabinets. Looking up I stared at the ceiling, dissociating into my thoughts to avoid the barrage of emotions hitting me all at once. I needed to calm down, I had no right to be acting like this. But still, it hurt so much and I couldn't escape the feeling of being torn apart from the inside. I had wanted Zuko to like me, I had wanted him to kiss me and take me on a date. I wanted to be in Jin's place and come home happily with him afterwards. Now I was unsure of what to do with myself in such close quarters. All those slight touches, caring gestures, and flirtations felt so empty now.
"I don't know what's wrong with me." I sighed, resting my head against my raised knees and closed my eyes.
"I think you do know." Aang said as he sat down beside me.
"Even if I do, it wouldn't change anything. He...won't ever see me like that, nor should he." I mumbled into my skin.
"And why is that?" Aang asked.
"Well, for starters, I've been lying to him. I'm the Avatar he's been spending years searching for. Second, I don't belong here. He's a prince and where I'm from...I'm nobody." I said as I felt tears stinging at my eyes.
"You're not a nobody...and if you care for him, the rest shouldn't matter. I bet you anything he'd understand your need to lie." Aang attempted to soothe, placing a cold hand on my shoulders.
"Then you clearly don't know Zuko." I grumbled, wiping away the start of my tears in an attempt to stem them.
"It's ok to cry, you know." Aang softly spoke.
"I know...but if he comes home and sees...he'll have questions I don't want to answer right now." I sniffled.
Our conversation was interrupted by Iroh stepping out of the bathroom. I quickly stood up, turning back to the tea I was making as I blinked away the remaining moisture from my eyes. I sparked the spark rock once more, and this time it lit the kindling. I placed the pot overtop of the small fire and took a seat at the table to wait. I began to drum my fingers against the cool wood, giving myself a physical outlet for my anxiety and discomfort.
"Oh, you're back. How was your walk?" Iroh asked as he came out into out small living area.
"Good, I'm just making some tea, want some?" I asked as I turned away so he couldn't see my red rimmed eyes.
"Sure, tea sounds lovely" Iroh spoke as he placed a hand on my shoulder.
He then picked up a pair of pruning shears and began to trim his plants. I watched him as I waited for the pot to fully boil. The silence was refreshing and I appreciate the fact that Iroh was giving me my space. Zuko still wasn't home yet and the thoughts of what he and Jin could be doing slowly began to gnaw away at me. It was then that we heard the door open. We both turned to see Zuko coming home. He closed the door softly before walking in with a blank expression on his face.
"How was your night, Prince Zuko?" Iroh asked.
The slamming of sliding doors to our bedroom was Iroh's response. I stared at the doors in confusion as I poured the freshly brewed tea into cups. Why was Zuko so upset? It had seemed as if he enjoyed the kiss, so why was he so prickly? I was almost about to turn back towards my tea when I saw the sliding door open up ever so slightly out of the corner of my eye.
"It was...nice." Zuko finally whispered through a gap in the screens.
Iroh smiled and finished caring for his plants, before drinking his tea and following Zuko to bed. I stay up nursing my own cup, consumed by my own thoughts and bitter feelings. I wasn't new to unrequited love, I wasn't even new to falling in love or being in a relationship with someone. But, ever since I got here I had stopped thinking of romance, which is why it hurt so much that the one person I happened to fall for despite it all was interested in another woman. It honestly stung a lot.
"Try not to stay up too late." Iroh smiled as he squeezed my shoulder.
"I won't." I returned his smile.
I wasn't sure how long I sat there looking out at the stars, but I could guess it had been for awhile. It was the only thing that was still the same. I had been able to find many of the constellations I knew. My feet were numb from where they were laying under me. I stretched them out with a small pained grunt, trying to rub the feeling back into them. I felt pins and needles as I heard the screen door slide open. I didn't turn around as I heard Zuko sit beside me, continuing to look at the pitch black night sky.
"You're up late." He said, the rustling of his clothing signifying that he was getting comfortable.
"Couldn't sleep." I sighed, refusing to look at him.
"How come?" He asked, pushing me for a proper response.
"Just...feeling restless." I said, evading his question petulantly.
I didn't want for him to ask me what was wrong, I didn't want to tell him either. So we sat for a few minutes in silence, Zuko mulling over my lack of response. He turned to regard me fully with a sigh that I couldn't decipher the meaning of. It's not like he had seen me when I had caught them at the fountain, nor was I being particularly prickly, just...distant. Everyone got somber and reserved from time to time, especially me. It maybe wasn't my default state, but it also wasn't new behaviour on my part. Even if he was right about the fact that something was wrong, and I hated him the tiniest bit that he knew me so well. I just needed to appear nonchalant, have a polite chat with him and then excuse myself to bed.
"I saw you, at the fountain." He finally admitted, causing my eyes to snap up to his.
"Oh." I mumbled as my ears started to burn.
Well, throw out excusing myself to go to bed and appearing nonchalant. The cat was out of the bag and I was now faced with the truth of my feelings, and so was Zuko. I was too embarrassed to really say anything on the subject, but Zuko was patiently waiting for my response. I wracked my brain trying to find any graceful exit I could take from this conversation. Nah, who was I kidding, I was looking for any exit out of this conversation I could take, graceful or not.
"I just...wanted you to know I didn't want to kiss her..." Zuko started to say, taking my silence as cue to continue.
"It's fine, you don't need to explain." I waved off as I began to stand.
Screw graceful exits, and screw logical ones. There was no way for me to save face now, all I could do was leave before he asked me more pointed questions. I wasn't ready to hear his rejection, and it stung to hear that I had ruined their moment. I was being an idiot, why didn't I just stay home instead of brooding around the city.
"But I do." Zuko pleaded as he grabbed my arm.
He pulled me back to sitting beside him and let out a small breath. He looked like he was struggling to find his own words, looking more embarrassed than I had ever seen him. Whether or not I was ready for this conversation, it looked like we were going to be having it anyway. Well, that's one point for adulting I guess, silver lining and all that.
"What I mean is...she wasn't who I wanted to be kissing tonight. I didn't really enjoy that part so I kind of fled. I felt bad so I acted like a jerk when I came home. I'm sorry." Zuko admitted, his eyes flickering from mine and towards my lips.
"I'm sorry she wasn't who you wanted to kiss, but I still don't get why you're telling me." I sighed looking away and trying to stop my heart from leaping at the hope he gave me.
"Close your eyes." He demanded, staring resolutely into my eyes.
"Excuse me?" I burst out as I turned to gape at him, flustered beyond all belief.
"It's nothing bad! Just do it." Zuko snapped back as he turned red.
"...fine..." I muttered as I relented.
Closing my eyes I felt his hands on my shoulders, before they slowly drew down and held my hands. Heat was tingling down the line he drew and despite the clothing in the way, I shivered. Then, I felt a faint pressure on my lips as electrifying warmth shot through my limbs. Oh. My. God. Zuko was kissing me with his chapped lips. My heart began to pick up speed, my body heating up. I could feel tingles spreading out through my limbs and couldn't stop myself from smiling into the kiss.
It took me a moment before I responded, holding his hands tightly as I pressed our lips tighter together, angling so I could suck his lower lip in. He let out a short gasp as he pulled away. His eyes were still closed and I could feel his breath on my lips. His face was about as red as mine was and he was staring at me heavily now.
"Whoa." He managed to say.
"Whoa is right." I started to smile as I squeezed his hand.
"Thank you." He whispered as he pulled me into the arms and we watched the stars.
I felt warm and content, like everything was exactly as it should be. It felt like I had been living in grey all my life and he had just shown me my first taste of colour.
"I'm not sure what you're thanking me for, but you're welcome." I beamed, unable to stop my smile.
It felt like I had finally come home.
~Break~
Back at work as usual, Zuko and I never really got to do anything further than the kiss. Iroh had found us awake and chased us back into bed with a shake of his head. The next morning we had work early, so the best I could hope for was Zuko's occasional loving glance. Which seemed less and less likely considering the busy chaotic day we were having. Iroh was finishing serving three men and was now taking their payment. Zuko was bussing their table with a frown, not enjoying their constant chatter at all.
"So you're the charming genius behind this incredible brew. The whole city is buzzing about you! I hope Pao pays you well." One of them praised me.
He was dressed as if he came from the upper ring and was flanked by two bodyguards. It was clear he wasn't here for a friendly visit, as this was probably the first time I had ever seen anyone from the upper ring down here, other than some of the guards this city had. I was momentarily reminded of those special guards that had taken Lee away so many nights ago, we hadn't heard from him or his friends since.
"Good tea is its own reward." Iroh bowed humbly.
"But, it doesn't have to be the only reward. How would you like to have your own tea shop?" The man asked, standing up out of his seat with a grin.
"My own tea shop?" Iroh asked, his head tilting as he thought of the possibilities. "This is a dream come true."
"What's going on here?" Pao asked, stepping over. "Are you trying to poach my tea maker?"
Giving up on wiping down one of the tables, I walked over to see what was going on. The well dressed man from the upper ring was eyeing Pao with a grin. He turned back to Iroh with a greedy smile. Pao was looking like he was sweating now, watching as the clearly richer entrepreneur was making a deal with Iroh. Pao gave me a sad look, reminding me of a kicked puppy. Obviously if Iroh left, that meant so would Zuko and I. I turned away from Pao's gaze, politely ignoring his silent request that I stop Iroh.
"Sorry, Pao, but that's business for you, am I right?" The man asked with a deep chuckle.
"Mushi, if you stay, I'll...make you assistant manager. Wait, senior assistant manager." Pao bargained.
"I'll provide you with a new apartment in the upper ring. The tea shop is yours to do whatever you want, complete creative freedom." The man countered.
"I even get to name the shop?" Iroh asked.
"Of course!" The man from the upper ring laughed.
"Uh, senior executive assistant manager?" Pao offered one last time.
Iroh's response was handing the pot to Pao and bowing in acceptance to the man. Guess I wouldn't need to bother wiping down anymore tables. I wiped my hands on my apron with a small smile, watching as Iroh thanked the man and worked out the details. This was certainly fortuitous, the upper ring provided opportunities we would never be able to get in the lower ring.
"Ohh!" Pao whined as he slunk off.
"Did you hear, nephew? This man wants to give us our own tea shop in the upper ring of the city." Iroh boasted as he wrapped an arm around Zuko's shoulder.
"That's right, young man. Your life is about to change for the better." The man from the upper ring boasted.
"I'll try to contain my joy." Zuko muttered as he slammed the tray he was holding onto the ground and left the shop.
"Does this mean we are done for the day?" I asked Iroh, wanting to follow Zuko instantly.
"Why? Want to spend more time with my nephew?" Iroh laughed.
I gaped at how transparent my question must have been. That, or Iroh was somehow psychic. He was giving me a gloating look, knowing he was completely correct in his assumption. I looked towards the door for a moment, concerned that this might be Zuko's breaking point, before looking back at Iroh.
"Shut up!" I flushed as I undid my apron and folded it up.
Placing it on the counter I left the shop to find Zuko missing. Where on earth did he get to so quickly? I looked down a few of the alleyways, finding them completely deserted. It had gotten too dark already so I couldn't see all that far down the street.
"Lee?" I yelled looking around an alleyway.
"Up here." I heard Zuko shout from above me.
Looking up, I scanned the rooftops finding Zuko perched on top of one across from me. With a sigh I scaled it and found Zuko looking out over the city. The look on his face was somber, I could tell he was lost somewhere in his thoughts. Was it really so bad that Iroh and I were happy that we were moving up in Ba Sing Se? Probably not, he was used to being a prince. A server in the upper ring hardly came close to that kind of life.
"What are you doing?" I asked, stepping to stand beside him.
Zuko handed me a missing poster with a picture of Appa, Aang's air bison, on it. It took a moment for my mind to catch up and my mouth fell open. So Aang was here, I had wanted to know. But, that also meant leaving Zuko after our romance had just started. The second realization hit me in the gut, what if Zuko wasn't ready to let hunting the Avatar go? What if I couldn't just his mind.
"What, is Aang here?" I whispered, not wanting Zuko to confirm my fears.
"He is, and I'm going to find him." Zuko declared as he looked out over the city.
"But how?" I asked, my mind racing for a way to tell Zuko that finding Aang didn't matter.
But wasn't I planning on doing the same thing? Shame hit my gut and I began to chew on my bottom lip. Was this all the time I got to have with him? My heart ached and I knew that I wouldn't be able to walk away from Zuko anymore. The only option I had left was convincing him to join me and give up on Aang.
"By finding his air bison first. Will you help me?" He asked, giving me soft pleading eyes.
The question stunned me. I had never thought Zuko would ask for my help like this. The look he was giving me when he asked struck me through to the core. I didn't just have a crush on Zuko, I was in love with him.
"I...yeah, I'll help you." I relented as I handed the poster back.
"Thank you, I knew I could count on you." He said as he reached out to grasp my hand.
"Always and forever." I whispered as he pulled me in for a soft kiss.
Just how much of a web was I tangled in now? I wasn't sure if it came down to it I would be able to say no to Zuko anymore. The only thing I could do was try to steer him in the right direction, and hope I wouldn't be forced to choose between him and Aang.
~Chapter 8 End~