As the music filling the TV studio ended, Hebe felt a hand on her wrist dragging her to the exit. Her brain felt frazzled with the events of the last few hours, her responses in the interview echoing through her skull. All she could hear was the words 'my sister Annie'. An inexplicable feeling of dread crept into her heart, the blood rushing in her ears.
Then she emerged from the darkness and into the blinding light, still being led forwards by that hand on her wrist. Finnick. She looked at him as they weaved through the crowd, but he didn't turn back even to cast a small glance of reassurance at her.
The people all about them chittered loudly. None of them seemed to have noticed the two new victors swerving toward the exit.
"Finnick, where are we going?" Hebe asked, confused as to why they seemed to be going away from the elevator that would take them back to the apartment.
"You're crowning." He replied shortly.
"Are you ok, did I -" She began, but Finnick cut her off quickly, snapping his head around to look her dead in the eyes.
"We'll talk about this later. For now, we have to get you to the car." His words cut into her like daggers; he'd never been this genuinely upset with her.
Soon they made it through the crowd to a back entrance where they met Ambrosia, and she reached forward to guide Hebe to an expensive looking Capitol car. Hebe had only been in a car once, on the way to the train station after she was reaped. She stopped and gaped for a moment before she was shoved inside.
"No time to gawk dear! The president's waiting!" Ambrosia said, as shrill as always.
Hebe nearly vomited on the plush carpet of the car. She had entirely forgotten what the crowning entailed. Indeed, she had forgotten there even was a crowning before Finnick so gently reminded her.
She reached up to nervously fiddle with her necklaces, before realising that both her fathers wedding band and Luca's arrowhead weren't there. She didn't even remember waking up from her sleep with them.
She avoided his gaze the entire way there. Instead she opted for either staring out the window at the cityscape, or directing her gaze into her lap. She rubbed her sore wrists, and noticed the small red marks of fingers from where Finnick's hands had been so tightly encircling them.
They finally arrived, and a man in a sharp suit came to open the door for Hebe. She took a second to collect herself, taking one deep breath. Then she stepped out of the vehicle and began to ascend the steps towards the balcony where she could see President Snow standing proudly.
On either side she was flanked by her new fans in the Capitol, all of them craning their necks to catch a glimpse of her. She was sure they were also there to try and spot her mentor, who trailed sullenly behind her. Although Hebe imagined he had put on the facade of smiling and waving for the crowds.
She continued to climb up the stairs, having to lift her dress slightly as she moved so as to not trip over in the massive high heels. All while keeping a bright smile plastered to her face.
Eventually she made it, and the steps flattened into a corridor that curved around the side of the building towards the building. She continued the act of being over the moon. Hebe felt constantly aware of the cameras filming her for all of Panem to see. It was strange to her to imagine Annie and her mother at home watching her right now.
Then she turned the corner and there was the President of Panem.
Snow stood next to an ornate throne, dressed in a purple velvet three-piece suit along with a matching white silk cravat. In the cravat was an amethyst pin, and hanging from his breast coat pocket was one of those old fashioned gold pocket watches. Pinned on his lapel was a small, perfectly formed, white rose. He was exactly as he looked on TV except his hair was slightly wispier and his wrinkles more defined.
Hebe kept staring directly towards the President, her grin growing wider out of anxiety. He then reached his hand forward for her to shake and she accepted it gratefully before moving to sit down on the solid gold throne. Hebe wiped the smile off her face as she sat down, choosing to assume a more stoic role as victor.
One of Snow's attendants then approached with a velvet pillow and atop it a large diamond encrusted diadem. He then took it in his hands and placed it onto Hebe's head. She got a strong waft of rose as he leaned down to speak to her.
"Congratulations, Miss Cross. I look forward to meeting you formally, I hope you can fulfil our great expectations for you."
Hebe felt her blood run cold at his last sentence, unsure of what he meant, but noticing the warning behind it. Despite this she kept up her act and stared straight ahead at the president.
"Thank you, sir."
Then Snow stepped away from her and announced her victory just like they had in the games. The crowd screamed loudly, and it felt like the entirety of the Capitol had stopped what they were doing to cheer for her.
All the way back to the apartment Finnick didn't say a word to her. Ambrosia tried to fill the thick silence, but found even with her vast conversational skills that she couldn't rise to the occasion.
It wasn't until the door slammed behind the three of them and Ambrosia excused herself did Finnick finally speak.
"Cross. We need to talk." His tone was still cold, like all the familiarity they had built up had burnt away in a single moment.
Hebe followed behind him as he walked out to the balcony. She gulped. She knew what was coming.
"What was the first thing I told you about the interviews?"
"To avoid the topic of family."
"That's right. So tell me, why did you decide to ignore my advice?"
It was then that Hebe's patience ran thin. She could tolerate his superiority for a short while, but this was simply too much to bear.
"I did not choose to ignore your advice. It slipped out, ok? Is it really that big of a deal?"
Finnick's green eyes narrowed and he scrunched his fists to mask his thinly veiled anger.
"Yeah, Cross, it is that big of a deal actually. Would I make it a big deal if it wasn't, do I seem like that kind of person to you?"
"Well why is it a big deal?"
"What?" He seemed to be caught off guard by the question.
"If it's such an issue, explain it to me. I'm a victor now, am I not? I have the right to know things."
"It's not that… it's not…"
"Spit it out."
"It's… difficult to explain."
Hebe huffed.
"Oh I'm sure it is." She walked off the balcony and made her way to her room, ignoring Finnick's pleas for her to wait.
She stomped all the way to her room, turning to see he'd followed her there.
"Hebe listen-" He was interrupted by a door slamming in his face. Hebe slumped down on her bed, groaning and holding her head in her hands. She would've relished the moment alone, except she was plagued by the rushing of thoughts in her head.
On top of that, there was the siren of fear that she now heard constantly. Fear that when she woke up, she would be back in the games. Fear that when she went to sleep, she would be back in the games. Fear that what president snow had planned for her would be worse than the games.
She pulled off the heels and dress, hanging the latter up in her wardrobe. There she also noticed her outfit for the next day, but chose to ignore it for now in favour of sinking into her bed.
Her dreams that night (surprisingly) did not return her back to the swamp. Although, she wasn't sure if where she went was better, or worse.
It started off in her room in the Capitol. She was shaken 'awake' by Ambrosia, who told her that the president was there to see her. From there it seemed to be a typical anxiety dream centering around the fact that she couldn't find any clothes to wear for the president's important visit.
Then it grew more sinister. She eventually met with Snow, who sent her to a museum. Here she was prepped, and then implemented as one of the exhibits, chained up in different outfits from her interviews and the parades. The Capitol people would grab her as they walked past, pulling pieces of flesh from her body, hair from her scalp. Until she was just a skull atop a mannequin, forced to spend the remainder of her life staring through thick glass.
Hebe woke up with a start. Raising a palm to her forehead, she could feel drops of sweat running down her skin. Falling from her brow onto the tip of her nose. She sat up and checked the time. It was just after 5 in the morning.
She groaned, flopping onto her side and sinking into a dreamless slumber for the next few hours.
When she came back to consciousness for the second time, it was not of her own volition. Instead it was due to Ambrosia standing at her door shrieking at her to get up and ready or the train would leave without her.
Hebe turned over and stared at her bedside with tired eyes. Then she noticed a small glinting. She sat up and peered over. It was her necklaces, accompanied by a note.
'Thought you might want these back.
Finnick.'
Hebe sighed. Shouldn't he know by now that that wasn't enough of an apology?
She tucked the note into her pocket and snatched up the two necklaces, glad for the familiar feeling of running her thumb over the metal. Hebe clasped them both around her neck, and got out of the almost unbearably comfortable bed. It might be the only thing in the Capitol that she would miss.
She wandered over to the closet and peered inside, actually looking at her outfit this time. It was a pale blue silk cowl neck top and a pair of black slacks. Thankfully there were no heels today, only black brogues. She pulled the trousers on and slipped into the top. Hebe then adjusted her necklaces so they were hanging in the centre of her chest.
Today she chose to pull her hair back into a loose bun; she was sick and tired of the elaborate Capitol hairstyles she had been subjected to.
Hebe had just enough time to wash her face before there was a knock on her door. When she opened it, Mags was on the other side.
"Good morning. How did last night go?"
She clearly hadn't spoken to Finnick yet.
"Alright I suppose. It could've gone better."
"Good. Well you'll be glad to know we're on our way home. The train leaves in just over an hour, so you'll have enough time to eat before we go."
"Sounds good. Might as well enjoy the Capitol food while it lasts, right?"
Hebe then walked away from her room for what would be the last time in a while. She instead made her way to the main room, climbing the glass stairs to the dining table.
Sitting down already were Ambrosia and Finnick. Ambrosia seemed to have recovered the ability to speak after last night, chattering about how sad she would be to see them go and how she couldn't wait until they saw each other again at the Victory tour. Hebe was fairly sure she was the only one who shared that particular sentiment.
Finnick avoided eye contact entirely, keeping his gaze firmly on his food. Hebe did the same, not wanting to argue with her mentor yet again.
Mags soon joined them, and was again accosted by Ambrosia telling one of her usual ridiculous stories, this time about a woman at her book club spilling wine on someone else's dress. It was good to know that while Hebe was in the arena, her escort was spending her time effectively
Then it was time to leave for the station. The three from district 4 took the stairs, while Hebe's escort bundled all her suitcases into the glass elevator. They descended through the building in total silence, reaching street level and climbing into a car like the one they had taken to the crowning. The four of them drove to the train station in similar quiet.
When they arrived, they all clambered out to meet the flashing cameras of the paparazzi. This time Hebe was forced to take the time to greet all of them, having to grin widely and answer a few questions for them. They became increasingly personal, and they only stopped when Finnick arrived to drag her away.
She bid goodbye to Ambrosia as cameras captured every moment, the two embracing and the escort even shedding a small tear. Then she was back in the car and being driven away, back to her nice neat Capitol life.
Hebe was then shoved onto the train bound for district 4, and as she watched the crazy people of the Capitol whizz past in the window, she couldn't help but feel a strange sense of deja vu. It had been roughly a month since she had first stepped off that train. Everything was so different now, she wasn't sure if she could return to her regular life anymore.
The girl took a moment to mourn her naive self, before striding through the carriages to the very back where she had first seen the reapings all those weeks ago. She slumped down on the long sofa, resting her head on the plush furnishings, enjoying one of her now seldom moments of silence.
It didn't last.
In through the door stepped her mentor, a sheepish expression on his usually smug features.
"Can I talk to you?"
"I can't exactly stop you, can I?" Hebe didn't mean for her tone to be so hostile, she just couldn't help it.
Luckily Finnick didn't seem to be taken aback by it, and instead moved to sit down next to her.
"I think I owe you an apology. And an explanation."
"I think so too."
"Well, I'm sorry. I really am. And I know you won't forgive me right away, but just hear me out."
"I'm listening."
"When I won the games, as you know, I was 14. I didn't really understand it then, but every choice I made had a lot of effect. At such a young age, all I wanted to do was survive. I didn't think I would even get to the top ten, let alone think of what would actually happen when I got out of the games."
"What did you do?"
"Exactly what you did. I built a persona. I manipulated the crowd into having as much sympathy for me as possible. And I did that, by talking about home. My mother. My father. My younger sister. Anything I could think of to make them want to save me. So when I ended up surviving, everyone in the Capitol knew about my family. Their names. Their ages. Everything."
"What happened?"
"When I was about to turn 16, I was summoned to the Capitol, and president Snow came to me with a series of requests. He wanted me to stay in the Capitol more often, go to social events with elites and politicians. Things like that. I, of course, refused, and he told me that I had no choice. At this point I was the most popular victor, and with that comes a certain amount of arrogance. I still refused, so I walked out and took the first train back to District 4. When I got back the next day, my entire family had been involved in a tragic boating accident. Something about 'a gas leakage and faulty pilot light'. I knew why they really died."
Hebe's jaw dropped, and a rush of memories came flooding back to her. The news reports, the vigils, even the funeral that her family had attended. She had forgotten it entirely; she was sure that most of Panem had too.
"Finnick, I'm… I'm so sorry."
She looked at him with sorrow as he awkwardly scratched his neck.
"It's fine. It was a long time ago."
Then something else hit Hebe. Annie. She had mentioned her by name in that interview. Was she under threat? Were there peacekeepers surrounding their house?
She was returned back to the present by a hand on her arm.
"It's ok, they're not just going to hurt her for no reason. It's only because I defied Snow, and with such contempt at that, that my family got hurt. She'll be fine, you've been the perfect victor so far. I just didn't want you to have to live with the risk."
"How could he do this to you?" Her voice broke with sadness at the man in front of her who had lost so much when he was just a boy. For the first time in her life she felt true hatred towards the Capitol, and towards Snow.
"Hebe, they run a death pageant every year. A few more people isn't going to push them over the edge into evil. They're already there."
The pair fell into silence for a few minutes, mulling over their pasts.
"I remember you from school, you know?" Finnick said, looking back up at the girl.
Hebe was slightly taken aback.
"Really?! What do you remember?"
"Uhh I thought you were really weird. And funny looking."
"You're not funny." Hebe deadpanned.
"Yes I am. I remember you as quiet. But smiley. And you were in the school band. Playing violin."
Hebe's eyebrows raised in shock. She had no idea that he'd taken any notice of her.
"I guess that's a fairly accurate description. I remember you too. Vaguely."
"That's such a lie. I bet you've been having dreams about me for the last 4 years."
"More like nightmares." Hebe mumbled, "You were loud. And you did loads of sports. And you were a massive teacher's pet but you wouldn't admit it."
"Seems like you remember a lot of me, Cross. Sure didn't have a crush? You can admit it, it's ok."
"Yeah right. Like anyone would have a crush on you."
"It's fine that you're lying to me because I'm just going to ask your sister." He shrugged as Hebe raised her eyebrows.
"Who said I was going to introduce you to my family?"
"Haven't you realised yet sweetheart? We're gonna be neighbours. You're gonna be seeing a lot more of me."
"What have I done to be condemned to such a fate!" She groaned. She had entirely forgotten that she would be moving into Victors Village. Although as much as she didn't want to admit it, the idea of Finnick living next to her did make it slightly less loathsome.
"Oh it's going to be hell for you. I'll be having dinner with you guys, coming over at 1 in the morning to ask for sugar, all the usuals. I can't wait." He grinned at her, and Hebe couldn't help but smile back at him.
"I'm sorry for being an asshole. I know you had my best interests at heart." She said, guilt filling her as she thought about how she had acted the night before.
"It's fine. I promise I won't keep you in the dark like that anymore. You're a victor now, you deserve to be treated like one. I'll see you later, ok?"
Hebe nodded as he left the room, leaving her alone again in the train car.
The rest of the journey felt like it flew by in a rush, and with each district that flew past her window came Hebe's building anxiety about what awaited her in district 4. She was going to see her mother again. She hadn't actually realised that yet. When she was in the games it felt like she was never going to escape, never going to go home. She'd had to come to terms with that possibility. And she had. Yet now that was all being turned upside down.
Annie would be there too. Hebe was worried that she wouldn't even be able to look at her without being filled with guilt. She had made her a target, and now she had to spend her life worrying about how her actions could affect the girl who was basically her sister.
Thankfully, there wouldn't be anyone else there of note to greet her, not anyone that Hebe cared about anyway. All she knew was that she would be glad to finally get off this train, and to finally escape all reminders of the games.
When she was in the Capitol, and now that she was sitting in this train car, everything reminded her of Luca. The screen where they had watched the reapings and the past hunger games. His room on the train. The dining table where he waxed lyrical about her skills with spears and axes. She couldn't escape him, it was like his spirit followed her wherever she went.
Hebe prayed with all her might that when she arrived at the train station, she wouldn't see Luca's parents staring up at her. She wasn't sure she could handle even saying the boy's name out loud.
Her thoughts were interrupted by someone sliding open the door to the car. Mags. The old woman shuffled forward and sat next to Hebe on the sofa, wrapping her arms around the younger girl.
"We're going to be arriving soon. Are you ready?"
"No." Hebe muttered, not having the energy to lie.
"You'll be fine. I expect Finnick's told you this already, but they won't care about what you've done in the games. All they'll care about is that you're home safe."
"Yeah, he did tell me that." Hebe laughed, scared by the telepathic connection that the two seemed to have.
"And I trust you two have made up?"
"Yeah. We're all good now."
"Thank god. I was worried that I might have my two most successful tributes ever arguing!"
The pair laughed at that, remembering one of their conversations in the apartment before the games.
Then they suddenly felt the train jolt to a stop, and the smell of saltwater infiltrated Hebe's senses. Home.