Chapter 27: Everyone Fights with Me

"I'm going to be dealing with whatever it is they're up to later, I'm sure," I say to Severus.

He growls. "They are not worth your time, Lily."

I shrug. "Weirdly, I think we're all kind of friends now. I mean, they did like save my life that one time."

"Huh?" Severus lowers his eyebrows.

"I already told you about this! When your 'buddies' cornered me in Hogsmeade?" I say.

"This story again!" Rosier says, coming up to stand with us, Emmeline, Regulus, and Wilkes in tow.

"Not you lot again," I growl. "And it's not 'a story'," I say. "You all attacked me."

"We did not! What spells did we hit you with, hmm?" Rosier tilts his head innocently. "Because I don't seem to recall firing any."

I stop, confused – he's right, technically. Rosier himself didn't shoot any spells, Lestrange did. And he hadn't hit me with I can clarify, Rosier presses on.

"We were just trying to have a normal day at Hogsmeade, but you had to go and follow us around. It's a bit odd, Evans. You put yourself down that alley. If you felt trapped, that's all on you. We weren't looking to attack you, but we sure felt uncomfortable with you following us."

"You're twisting everything up," I shout. "You are all up to something, I know it! I don't know what it is, but there's something weird going on with your little Slytherin gang."

"Lily," Emmeline says pleadingly. "You don't think maybe you've misunderstood everything this whole time? I mean, if you're looking for them to be getting into trouble, isn't that what you're going to find?"

But her words do absolutely nothing to appease me. If anything, I get more frustrated. "No, Emma! This is not a misunderstanding! The only one not understanding is you. They cornered me in an alleyway! Lestrange tried to hex us!"

"You say," Emmeline says.

"Are you really going to take their side over mine?" I say disbelievingly.

"Well, you are always following them around. Evan's right, it's a bit odd how obsessed you are with them."

I fight back the nauseous feeling I get at hearing Emma use Rosier's first name (more evidence for their long-term relationship) and turn to Sev for help. He shrugs uncomfortably. "Lily, you do follow them – us – around a lot. And for no good reason."

"No good reason? You're all being suspicious as hell!"

"Well, do you ever follow Potter and his friends around? Because they're certainly not squeaky clean."

"Well, no, but Potter –"

"You've been making excuses for him all year, and look!" Severus points across the room. I follow the direction he's pointing to see the Marauders huddled in the far corner, barely visible behind one of the Christmas trees. James has a fat sack of what looks like Galleons, and Sirius, Remus, and Peter scoop handfuls of them out before scampering away and scattering them about the room, but not before tapping them with their wands. I watch Peter stick one to the wall and I understand – Permanent Sticking Charm.

It only takes a minute for students to notice the coins. Someone stoops to pick one up, but can't pry it off the floor, no matter how hard he tugs. I find myself simultaneously fighting back a laugh while battling irritation that the four of them are pulling pranks at the exact wrong moment.

"That," I say, turning back to Sev, "is not the same. It's stupid, but it's not the same."

"But why is it not the same?" Emmeline says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"It's harmless, what they're doing. And what Evan and his friends are doing is harmless, too."

"No, Emmeline, it is not harmless. I can't believe you! How many times do I have to say this? They attacked me –"

"But they didn't!" Angry red spots break out high on Emmeline's cheeks as she finally loses her cool. "They are doing nothing wrong! Evan's dad just has them researching potion ingredients, what's wrong with that? You think that just because they pop into the Forbidden Forest once or twice, or stay out past curfew, they're all Dark, but you know what? Take a good look at yourself, Lily! You're in the Forest too, right there with them! You're out past curfew! And you're perfectly happy to ignore a lot of the fishy stuff James and Sirius and the rest of them get up to just because you're all friends now! Just because Professor Dumbledore made you Head Girl this year doesn't mean the rules don't apply to you anymore! You aren't any better than the rest of us!"

We all stare at her in shock. I don't think I've ever heard Emmeline yell, not once. Not when Marlene accidentally tipped a whole pitcher of pumpkin juice in her lap at breakfast third year. Not during first year flying lessons when James and Sirius almost knocked her off her broom while they were playing tag in the air. Not ever. And now she's yelling so forcefully, angry tears splash down her face.

"I don't -" I start.
"I don't want to hear what you have to say anymore," Emmeline says, and with that, she turns on her heel and marches away, pushing a couple of second years out of her way as she goes.

"Em!" Rosier shouts, and he leaves too.

I gape after them. "What was that?"

"Well, she kind of had a point," Severus says quietly.

I whip back to him, temper flaring. "You want to explain?"

"You are so focused on us Slytherins, for no good reason."

I'm so frustrated, all the fury rising up into my head, I feel like steam might actually come pouring out my ears. "For the last time. Your Slytherin buddies attacked me." I round on Regulus, who's been observing everything with a wickedly amused smile curling his lip. "You were there! You remember!"

"Don't have a clue what you're talking about," Regulus says, eyes glittering.

I am getting NOWHERE.

"Lily, did you know Emmeline is here with Evan Rosier?" Sirius says, bounding up. He's trailed by the other three Marauders, and all of them have identical looks of shock on their faces, giving me an idea of what I must have looked like when I first saw Emmeline with Rosier.

"Oh, believe me, I know," I grit out.

"What's going on?" James asks, looking between Severus and me in confusion. Severus's face is scrunched up in frustration, and I'm sure mine doesn't look any better.

"Back me up!" I shout. I point an accusing finger in Regulus's direction. "Did they or did they not attack us in Hogsmeade?"

"Yes," James confirms.

Severus huffs impatiently. "Come on, Lily. Of course he's going to back you up. He'll say anything to throw any of us Slytherins under the bus. It's not like you can expect me to trust his word."

"Excuse me?" James and I say in unison.

"And why aren't you trusting ME?!" I cry. "What about my word? Why is it you're taking his –" I nod at Regulus "- over mine?"

Severus sputters, something about "not like that" and "beside the point" before shifting the conversation and blaming James instead. "Look, Lily, you're always so quick to blame us, but Vance was right about this too – what about them?" He looks at the four Marauders, clumped together and watching him rant distastefully. "They're always sneaking all over the grounds at night, like on a monthly basis."

I look at James, confused and unsure who I should be upset at – Severus for maybe lying, or James and his friends for maybe routinely breaking so many rules, but anything I was going to say dies on my tongue when I take the Marauders in. Their expressions range from horrified – Remus – to furious – James.

"You," James says, his voice quiet and shaking with suppressed fury, "have no right. Remember?" He steps in closer to Severus and thrusts his hand out, and for a moment, I think he's going to hit him. But he just keeps his hand extended, palm up, and I notice for the first time a thin white scar slashed across his palm.

I stand between them, looking back and forth between each of their furious faces. I think Severus clenches his hand, but the movement is so quick, I might have been wrong.

After a moment, Severus takes a step back, looking away from James. A muscle ticks in his jaw and the look on his face is lethal.

"How dare you," James says softly, lowering his hand back to his side, his eyes ticking over Severus's face. They're still alarmingly close, despite Sev's step back. It's like he's talking only to Sev now, the two of them forgetting the rest of us gathered around them, though Sirius is right at James's shoulder, nearly as furious, and I'm standing almost between them. Remus hangs back, his face white, and Peter looks almost frightened. Regulus observes with sharp, calculating eyes.

At James's words, Severus meets his eyes again, and his face is a mask of perfect loathing. "You think," he sneers, "one act makes you a decent person. You think she'd still see it that way? If she knew it all?"

"And what moral high ground do you think you have?" James hisses. "Lily's not stupid. We're on to all of you. You want to accuse me of sneaking around? Interesting how often you and your friends wander to places you shouldn't lately."

Severus draws back, looking stunned. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"You'd be surprised, Snape. If you want to keep putting up your pathetically innocent front, you're going to have to watch yourself."

Severus stares at him, his eyebrows lowered and teeth clenched. Then he mutters, "Let's go, Lily."

But I don't move. I don't know what to make of anything either of them just said, just that it really affected Remus. He looks subdued, staring at the floor, both Peter and Sirius pressing reassuringly against him. Sirius glares at Severus, and I don't know what to make of that either.

What I do know is that I'm not feeling very kindly toward Severus right now.

But I guess James assumes I'll just go along with Sev anyways because he turns to me. His eyes are still hard. "See you, Lily. We'll talk wedding details on the train tomorrow?"

I widen my eyes in warning at him, but it's too late.

"Wedding?" Severus asks sharply.

I shake my head furiously, but James answers anyway. "Lily's sister is getting married over holidays, didn't you know?" Potter says, not breaking eye contact with me.

I want to scream.

"Lily?" Severus asks me.

"Yep," I say. I give Potter one last furious look before switching my attention to Sev. "Petunia's getting married."

"And Potter needs to know about it because...?"

I scrunch my eyes shut. "Because he might come with me."

There's a long pause where the melody of "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" weaves between us and I remember that we are at a party. This was supposed to be a fun night. Silly me, for expecting it to be so.

"So," Severus says, struggling to keep his voice calm, "you don't even tell me that your sister – who I know, by the way – is getting married, but this prat, who you have hated for the last six years, is going? With you?"

"Severus, it's not like I could invite you," I say, trying to reason. "Petunia doesn't even want me there. I still don't even know if I'm going. And you know she'd never let you."

"But you didn't even tell me!"

"Because it's embarrassing!" I shout. "I didn't tell anyone! Potter just... found out! I didn't want to broadcast the fact that my own sister didn't even invite me to her wedding!"

"But you could've told me!" Severus shouts back. "You know I would've understood! I know Petunia, of course I would understand!"

"This isn't about you, Sev!" I say.

"No, of course it isn't," he says. "It's about you. And Potter. No room for me anymore." He folds his arms "Well. Don't worry about me. I'll get out of your Christmas plans immediately. See you after holidays." And with a very dramatic swoosh of his dress robes, he sweeps away, heading for the door out.

"Well," Regulus says, looking around at all of us, smirking. "This has been a very entertaining evening." He looks at Sirius. "I look forward to your absence over Christmas, big brother." And then he and his date follow Severus out of the party.

I turn on Potter. "Can you ever keep your big mouth shut? You ruin everything!"

Potter raises his eyebrows incredulously, then scowls. "You're right, Lily, everything is always my fault."

"Well, what's your defense this time?" I say.

"You and Snape were already fighting when I got here, you asked me to back you up. I was trying to help!"

"No, you weren't!" I shout. My throat is starting to feel hoarse from all the shouting. "You just wanted to annoy Sev, you just had to throw the wedding in his face, you knew that would upset him! Just learn when to keep your mouth shut, and stay out of my business!"

"Fine!" Potter shouts, throwing his hands in the air. Without another word, he stomps away, leaving me with Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"Evans..." Sirius groans.

"Not a word, Black!" I say. "I don't need one of your lectures about always expecting the worst in him! You were all right here, you saw it!"

But it's Peter who speaks up. "Lily... you have no idea what you're in the middle of." And with one last disappointed shake of Sirius's head, the three of them file away, no doubt to find Potter.

No idea...! ME? Ugh. I can't handle anyone anymore. And it's my turn to stomp away, dang it!

So I do – I stomp over to the drinks table, thinking I'll grab some more firewhisky; the warmth has long since burned away and I need something fiery to match my raging temper right now.

But instead, I run into Alice, who I haven't seen since the beginning of the party. I wasn't even sure she was still here, but her and Sev's little spat seems so tame after everything else. Additionally, seeing her reminds me what a disaster Emmeline is wrapped up in. Alice will be reasonable about this, I think. I need her help to talk Emma out of all her idiotic delusions about Rosier.

"Alice!" I say. "Where have you been? Emmeline is being absolutely –"

"Now wait a moment, Lily!" And that's when I notice just how mad she is – red face, clenched hands, bright fierce eyes. "That's exactly what I want to talk to you about."

"Talk to me about?" I say. I'm so taken aback, I don't know what to say. Though I shouldn't bloody well be surprised! Everyone else is mad at me tonight! "Don't you know Em's here with Rosier? How is it that you want to talk to me?"

"Because, Lily, I've just spent the last twenty minutes trying to console her because of you!"

"Because of – of me?" I say. Merlin, for real? "And did she leave out the part where she yelled at me?"

"No, actually, she didn't. She told me everything."

"So, what?" I say, incredulous. "You can't tell me you're going to defend Rosier too?"

"Of course not!" she shouts. "But that's not the point! Can't you see what you're doing, Lily?"
"I'm worried about Emmeline, that's what I'm doing!"

"No, you're not! You're too wrapped up with your 'special assignment' from Dumbledore that you don't realize what a hypocrite you're being!"

"What?"

"Yes! You're getting all mad at Emma for dating a Slytherin when – guess what Lil? You're here with one too!"

"Severus is different!" I shout. "You don't know, you're just determined to see him as evil just because he's in Slytherin. You've never given him a chance!"

"Except that I have!" Alice shouts back. "For five years, I put up with him because you're my friend! For five years I let you hang around with him because I knew he was important to you growing up, even if I didn't get it. But not anymore! You don't get to be all indignant at Emmeline when she's not doing anything you aren't! I don't like Rosier anymore than you do, but you know what? Snape falls under that same category!

"Which is...?"

"Slytherins who I don't trust! ALL of them are up to no good, Snape included! And if you're going to keep stubbornly accusing them – and dragging Emma into it – we're going to lose her to them! Don't you see? You're pushing her away!"

"So what am I supposed to do? Pretend I'm happy for her? Ditch Severus just because you don't like him? Severus is not the problem! This is about Rosier!"

Alice groans in frustration. "You are still not listening. You refuse to listen to anyone about him! I thought we were over this! I thought after fifth year we could finally get past Snape, but no. You have to make this drama all over again. And you have to be right about it."

"Because I am right!" I shout.

Alice lets out a sound somewhere between a scream and a laugh of derision. "Well, we're not all you, Lily. Don't bother talking to me until you're done messing with him! I am done dealing with Severus Snape!"

She storms away. I watch her walk out the door, and then I realize... I'm left all alone.

Alice, Severus, Emmeline, James... they've all left me. Heck, even Sirius and Peter are mad at me. The party is still in full swing, the music louder than before, everyone around me smiling and laughing and eating and celebrating, and I couldn't feel more out of place.

I fight my way out of the crowd to a chair at the very edge of the room. They're all deserted, no one wanting to spend the party sitting anymore. And that's where I stay the rest of the night, watching everyone else having a good time.

I'm in no hurry to get back to the common room and deal with any of the people who left me here.

/

It's extremely late when I get back to Gryffindor Tower. Though the rest of the party had hardly been fun, what with all my roiling emotions and no one left to release them on, I'd stayed until the very, very end, watching every last couple trickle out and the house-elves start in on the cleaning. I had, however, managed to get out before Slughorn could corner me again and ask how I'd enjoyed the night. I don't think I had it in me to make something positive up, even for a professor.

But my late late evening out has done the trick. When the portrait hole swings open, the room on the other side waits dark and deserted, a relief after the press of noise and people. Everyone must have already made it to bed since the train home leaves so early in the morning.

But I'm hesitant to climb the stairs up to the dormitory. Emmeline's up there, and Alice. And Carol and Mary, who are already problems all by themselves. And what if they aren't asleep yet?

Have I mentioned just how unfortunate sharing a room with five other girls can be sometimes?

So instead, I sink into the couch by the dead fireplace. It's so comfortable, maybe I'll just stay the night down here, even if I only have my dress robes with me. It might not be too bad...

Except then I run the risk of encountering the Marauders if they're not back yet, or if they come down extra early in the morning...

Decisions, decisions...

There's a noise on the stairs and I sit up straight, straining to hear where the potential threat is coming from. Shoot. They're on the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

Marlene steps out of the stairwell, barefoot and in her pajamas.

I relax back into the couch.

"You come to yell at me, too?" I ask, closing my eyes.

I feel Marlene sink onto the opposite end of the couch. "Nah," she says. "A fight's not worth the energy."

"But you did hear about how horrid the party was, right?" I open one eye to look at her.

"I think I caught the broad strokes," she says.

"Ha ha," I say. Then I sigh. "Thanks. You know, for not being mad."

She shrugs. "Like I said, not worth the effort. And in any case, it's not like I can take sides when you're all a little right and all a little wrong."

I bite back my instinct to demand how I'm supposed to have been wrong in any of this. I'm not in the mood to hear how Emmeline is supposed to be right, or how I'm wrong in either circumstance. And I really don't need to fight with Marlene on top of everyone else tonight.

"But this Rosier situation does worry me..." she says, brow creasing. "What do you think that's about?"

Oh thank Merlin. Finally, someone understands what a massive problem Emmeline with Rosier is.

"I really don't know," I say, shaking my head. "I just don't know what Emmeline's thinking."

"Me either," she says quietly.

We sit in silence for a little longer until I break it with a huge yawn. Turns out, multiple arguments in a night can really wipe you out.

"I'm tired, Marlene. And the train early in the morning..."

"Right," Marlene says, and right now, it's the best part of her. The way she really means she doesn't want to fight, and how she doesn't take anything personally or get all caught up in the drama. She gets up. "You coming?"

"I'm really not," I say. "I can't be up there when everyone hates me but you."

"They don't hate you," she says gently.

I raise an eyebrow.

"I mean, they don't like you much right now..." she says.

I grimace.

"Will you please bring down my pajamas?" I ask.

/

There's a note sitting atop my folded dress robes when I wake up at three in the morning, still on the common room couch and feeling very disoriented. I gather it up with my clothes and stumble upstairs to collapse into my bed.

But I find it again in the morning while I'm packing to go home.

Lily,

As usual, you're right. I'm terrible at staying out of your business, and I was trying to get to Snape. One of these days, I'll get to send you a letter that isn't all apologies, but for now... I'm sorry.

James