AN/ Thank you everyone for reviewing, favoriting and following. It makes me so happy to know others are reading my fic, even if my stats page has jammed and doesn't tell me anything! This chapter is dedicated to my friends who helped me out during some really hard times in my life. They really saved me. In persuasion, Anne Elliot never spoke to anyone about what was going on with her, and I think that was my only bug bear with the book; in life you need good friends to give you perspectives on situations you're too involved in to make clear judgements on. Anyway, on with the show.

Chapter 7

Several days had passed since Hinata's introduction to Naruto's friends and she found the company very enjoyable. Lisa's warmth and openness made conversation very easy, a skill that Hinata noticed she had not encountered in many people she knew, with the exception of one person of course.

She also noticed that Uchiha Sasuke had come out of his shell by making himself attentive to her on several occasions, he had informed her of having purchased her recommended reads and had made a start on one of them, emphasizing in a slightly awkward way that he looked forward to speaking with her about them. Hinata was glad that her offer of friendship had taken some sort of effect with him, but she was careful to remain guarded in her manner, she didn't want to inspire any false notions. Suddenly a picture of her Aunt morphed into the forefront of her mind, reminding her that she gave no other men a chance.

Should she give Uchiha-san a chance? He was polite, respectful, intelligent and bookish like her to an extent. She shook her head, though he had good qualities and was certainly handsome, she just wasn't attracted to him. Maybe that was because her feelings were still absorbed by another, but she was adamant not to engage in anything until her feelings resolved themselves, even if they never did. She didn't need a man to enjoy life's pleasures and be content.

Without warning, her mind conjured a picture of Naruto when they were ten years younger, they were happier times, but he almost certainly felt differently towards her. It was proven in his distance from her, though his undefined behavior towards her during the trip had been atypical for him, and with the exception of one indiscernible glance from him on the night she was introduced to his friends, she was grateful he had mostly kept to himself.

It was with these thoughts fluttering in her head that Hinata made her way to the breakfast buffet table, she had picked up a plate for herself and looked at the food without really seeing it, as she was so caught up in her thoughts her body had entered an automatic mode. When suddenly she was jolted by a firm prod to her shoulder. She was so caught in surprise that she dropped her plate which smashed to pieces on the floor by her feet. Immediately she dropped to squat on her ankles to pick up the pieces, uttering apologies to no direct person. It was only when she had risen from the floor that she saw the person responsible for startling her.

"It should be me to apologize, I didn't mean to scare you." Hinata eyes opened in astonishment as they laid upon the handsome face of the man who had bypassed her and Kiba on their walk several days ago. He had soft brown hair, that reached his ears, and twinkling brown eyes that was crinkled in delight as a result of a broad smile directed all at her. He wore a kimono supplied by the onsen, which made her guess he was a guest here, and made her wonder that she had not seen him before.

"Though I can't say I regret getting your attention" he continued, his voice was leathery like a jazz player and his build, she noticed as he leaned towards her was tall and imposing, that she automatically took a step back in response. He wasn't discouraged by her actions or silence. "I've been staying at the onsen for some days now and hoped to run into you on one of the walks again, I didn't get to say anything to you when we passed each other. Guess I'm really lucky to be staying at the same establishment as you." Hinata blushed, she wanted to say something but was overwhelmed by surprise and intrigue in the man's self assurance that she found him quite… sexy. Maybe it was the light mischief in his eyes, or the subtle suggestion in his smile, Hinata was so unused to the attention she couldn't help but feel flattered. His smile widened, "I wonder what that pretty head of yours is thinking." Startled a second time she took another step back, and refraining from the urge to shake her head back into the present she made a strong effort to speak.

"I-I…" he smiled wider, seemingly amused by her stuttering, it resolved her to speak clearer, "I was thinking that I don't know who you are." His eyebrows raised at that, as though slightly offended.

"I confess I didn't expect to be so forgettable."

"Oh no, I remember meeting you the other day." Though calling it a meeting seemed generous,"I meant I don't know your name or anything else about you." She hoped highlighting the lack of intimacy would signal him to not assume any with her.

"Ah yes, how rude of me." And he stuck a hand out to shake hers, "Hamada Daisuke at your service." She shook his hand politely in response.

"Pleased to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine." It was only when Hinata noted his voice somehow grew deeper that she realized he taken the opportunity while shaking her hand to step closer to her, "and what's your name?" He still held her hand

"Huuga Hinata." His eyebrows rose again as she withdrew her hand, "then the pleasure certainly is mine, I've heard many great things about the Huuga daughters that I consider myself very fortunate to meet one in the flesh." His choice of words did not escape her.

"My sister and I tend to be known in only general terms, I'd like to know how you managed to know anything more."

"Because my business heavily involves me with Huuga corporations." Hinata couldn't say she was entirely surprised, "I have heard many things said in and outside the boardroom about you and I am happy to say I am not disappointed."

His appreciative gaze of her made Hinata feel confident that he could only be referring to her subjective beauty, it was laughable that he knew anything more about her to pass judgment on her character or achievements after just one conversation together. Hinata found it distasteful, but she couldn't say she entirely disliked it, a primal part of her liked being visible in a physical way. Perhaps because she hadn't received such attention for so long, or because he delivered it so smoothly and self assuredly, or maybe it was because it was as clear as day that he wanted her.

To be wanted after years of being unwanted was an incredibly strong allurement. The thought jolted her like nothing else had that morning, being attracted to the idea of being desired was a heavy vulnerability she wouldn't allow the primal parts of herself to lean into. She reminded herself of her feelings, of her values, that she would only give and receive pleasure with connection, not without. She took a step back from Hamada and appraised him. He was certainly into her, but would he want more than just a bit of fun? Would she want to find out?

"I'm sure if you knew me more I would give you plenty of reasons to be disappointed. I am nothing like my sister and prefer a much quieter life than my father."

"I doubt you could ever disappoint me, but I'd like to see you try over dinner with me this evening?"

It being the team's penultimate day before traveling back to Konoha, Hinata had already been engaged to dine with her team at Lee and Lisa's home near the onsen, guess she'll be disappointing him sooner than he thought, "I am already engaged to have dinner elsewhere, and I'll be leaving the onsen soon, so I suppose fate won't allow it." Instead of appearing disappointed, Hamada only looked further excited, as though expecting a chase, "then to fate it shall be. Have a good day, Huuga Hinata." And with one last smirk at her, he left her to finally pick her breakfast from the buffet table but with a very altered appetite.

They day had passed relatively smoothly after that, she had initially been worried that some of her colleagues might have seen her conversing with Hamada that morning, especially one colleague in particular, but felt certain enough that she had arrived to breakfast much earlier than the rest of her team. So far she was safe.

It was now evening, and she was having a very enjoyable time at Rock's dinner table that the morning encounter was mostly forgotten. She did fleetingly wonder what life would have been like if she had accepted Naruto and been introduced to his friends earlier in life, they're energy and shared happiness was a soothing balm to the distress and darkness that life cyclically delivered. She was fortunate to not be allowed to dwell on such thoughts for long by her warm hosts, a high spirited Kiba, and an attentive Uchiha. The latter had been persistent but not uncomfortably so, which enabled Hinata to be friendly without fear of insinuation.

She later remarked to herself, while walking down a corridor on her way to retrieve her coat from a closet, that Uchiha Sasuke's attention felt safe but undesirable, while Hamada's felt predatory but intriguing. She was just wondering why her emotions felt so skewed, when she was halted by an arresting scene. From where she stood she had a clear view through an open study door, of Sakura pressed up against Naruto who was leaning against a wall, with his hands on her waist as they kissed.

It felt like she had been struck by a force of dark and incomparable shock encrusted with grief. It made her stand rooted to where she was, unable to lift her eyes from what her mind said was logical but her heart said was horror. After what felt like an eternity, but mostly likely only a few seconds, Hinata turned abruptly around, and slowly walked away, a hand on her mouth to muffle any sounds her heartbreak would let escape. Her coat left forgotten, Hinata stepped outside to evade detection by the others while she tried her very hardest to compose herself and appear neutral.

It was only a kiss, and the dynamic being what it had been for several months between Naruto and Sakura, was a reasonable conclusion. She surmised that in the ten years of their estrangement, Naruto despite remaining celibate must have kissed women, but seeing him in a position of intimacy with someone else still sliced jagged lacerations into her chest, as though pawing for her soul. Without her consent, and without her knowledge, her sadness began to overflow into tears traversing down her face. It was as though the past ten years of carefully concealed loss, regret and unrequited love could no longer be contained within the embers of her being and must be released to the outside world.

Just then Kiba had exited the building and saw her, "Hey, I was looking for you we're about to-" he finally noticed her profile, and she did not have the strength to hide it. "Hinata! Are you okay?" Hinata guessed he sounded alarmed because he hadn't ever seen her that way before, no one had, not even when she had first given up Naruto. He quickly sat by her, offering her shelter from the wind. "What's wrong?" He asked when she said nothing.

"I… I…" she what? What was she? What did she want to say? Or rather, why was it that she hadn't shown anyone her grief? Hadn't said anything to anyone except her Aunt. What made her shoulder all her emotions by herself and never lean in for support from anybody? She supposed the answer lay in some incorrigible parenting from her father. Which made her inhale and exhale again as she wiped her tears away.

Turning towards Kiba she assessed him, he was loyal, a good friend, who genuinely cared. Maybe it was high time she trusted him and see where it would take her. "I'm really sad Kiba."

The four words had her voice cracking in her throat as fresh tears fell from her eyes in a bittersweet release from the relief of finally voicing her feelings.

"Do you want to talk about it?" All she did was nod. He got her coat, excused himself and her from their dinner party in a discrete way and got them both a cab to go back to the onsen where he ordered them some tea while they sat in his room. He waited for her to start patiently. At long last and after several sighs, Hinata began.

"When I was a lot younger, when… when I was a student at university, I met one of our colleagues, and…." She exhaled shakily, "and grew a deep… deep… attachment."

"Did you fall in love?" He asked tentatively.

"Yes. He… he asked me to commit to him. I said yes…"

Kiba read the pain in her face, "but then you said no." Hinata looked up, not surprised at his analysis, she knew he was perceptive, then nodded her head. "Why?" She was grateful he did not ask "who" though she knew the question would come soon.

"I told my aunt, at first I thought she would be happy for me. But she persuaded me to stop seeing him."

"I guess you were quite young to commit to something serious, but it's been done before. What were her reasons?"

"Age was one. She said he didn't have a job or potential for success." Hinata sighed again, burying her head in her hands, knowing Kiba would connect the dots with what she was about to say, "she said he was brash and overconfident, that he just did the talk but not the walk. I didn't want to disappoint her, she was pretty much my only support, so I trusted her. It took me many years to realize that just because she cared about me didn't mean she couldn't be wrong."

Kiba nodded his head. "How did he take it?"

"With anger, expectedly."

"Did you tell him why?"

"Yes, but he… was very angry, and I was very…." She stopped, not able to say anymore.

"It's okay Hinata" he said, rubbing her arm, "take some more tea. It will do you some good." She sipped the hot beverage and the warmth that it settled in her stomach countered the cold of her heart. "So what happened tonight?"

"I saw him, with someone else…." She let her silence explain the rest, she didn't want to mouth the word kiss, it felt sacrilegious.

"And it made you realize you still love him?"

She smiled wryly at her teacup, "I've always known about my feelings. I could never forget even if I tried" She said sadly.

"Even after all those years?" She nodded somewhat serenely. "It's Uzumaki isn't it."

Hearing his name seemed to spark something in her and fresh pain hit her consciousness again. New tears came, but she was able to slightly nod her head. She heard him mutter something under his breath, which made her look at him in question.

"You're vulnerable right now so I don't want to say everything on my mind, but I think you shouldn't blame yourself, and I don't think he's entirely blameless either." Her eyebrows began to furrow in confusion and query, noticing her train of though Kiba quickly asked "the important thing to ask now is… what do you want?"

"What do I want?" Hinata was baffled, never had anyone asked her this, nor did she ask herself, she hadn't ever believed she was worthy of wanting, she had been taught to accept what she had been given. Being asked what she wanted made her feel as though she had options. Did she have options? What were they?

"I don't know, I… I've never thought about that before."

"Well, what does your gut say?"

"My gut?" Despite all her tumult that evening, Hinata still found space to feel incredulous.

"Yeah your gut… like your instinct."

She thought about that, when she saw Naruto kissing Sakura she felt unbelievable pain, but she hadn't wished harm to either, she hadn't even wished for it to not happen. She just felt pain for herself. "I want him to be happy, and I want to not feel pain anymore."

"Seems like a good goal, though I don't know if the fella is as deserving of your kindness. Now," Kiba took her teacup to refill it, "how are you going to achieve being pain free?" Hinata sighed, and felt sad again at what her instinct was telling her.

"I suppose…" she brought the fresh tea to her lips, "I suppose I'll have to leave the civil service."