A Sea of Thought

Following on from dinner, Blaire was putting away the dishes from the evening, quite content in the fact that she was slowly learning where everything was kept. She did not hear when Sebastian came up behind her, and consequently, when he asked her about where Agni kept sneaking off to, she let out a shriek, dropping a tea cup. Lightning fast, Sebastian dove to retrieve it before it hit the ground, leaving Blaire doubled over and wheezing, clutching the countertop while he placed it back.

"Jesus Christ." She whispered, burying her face in her hands

"Not even he could help you if you broke the young master's favourite tea set. Now; I would like to remind you that we have a supposed murderer living in our midst. Time is of the essence – and our guest has been leaving the manor grounds at night."

"Haven't you followed him?"

"And leave the young master alone with the prince? A possible accomplice? Are you quite dense?"

Blaire finally straightened, wiping her hands on her apron. "Prince Soma isn't dangerous. I can tell you that Agni is sneaking away to some rich man's house. I can't remem- I'm not sure what his name is, but he's going to marry this Mina person that Soma's looking for. You should follow him."

"And what will you do, should the reapers come to take you away again when I'm not here?"

"Maybe we should hear them out?" She wrang her hands together, correctly anticipating Sebastian's disapproval.

His mouth turned down, eyebrows raising as he tilted his head down to make eye-contact with her. She felt something like static electricity in the air between them – and it wasn't the pleasant kind. "They would take you away, you know. Perhaps never to be seen again." His mouth quirked up in a smirk. "As much as I appreciate the idea of human experimentation, as it stands, I will not allow you to be taken away."

Her jaw slackened. This wouldn't do. He wasn't going to follow Agni because of her. "But you need to follow him, otherwise we won't ever get to the bottom of what's going on with Agni and all of those innocent people who were strung up-"

Sebastian chuckled. "No one is truly innocent. Not one single soul is completely pure. If a hundred more men die, then so be it. You aren't going anywhere." He leaned in to whisper into her ear and she had little choice but to stand petrified, her back pressed into the counter top. "You are much too valuable."

"But you need to. I can't see any other way of getting to the bottom of this case."

All amusement left him swiftly. "Explain."

"The things that I… er, see in the future… I… see them play out as though I wasn't there. Like I'm reading a book instead of experiencing it myself."

He was now peering at her in curiosity. "So, your powers blind spot, if you will, is yourself. How fascinating." His hand came to rest on his chin as it often did when he was deep in thought. "That explains why you believed that you had learned about the young master from a book."

Choosing not to correct him, she continued. "You're supposed to follow Agni and find out who's master-minding the murders." Blaire swallowed a lump in her throat. She couldn't allow anyone else to die in her name. "I, I'll tell Ciel-"

His back straightened. "You would dare threaten me with telling our master-?" He sounded calm and quiet – however she knew that this was when he was most livid.

"I'm sorry-!"

"Sebastian?"

The two turned. It was Bardroy. Neither of them had noticed his approach. Sebastian drew back from the trembling woman. Blaire took the opportunity to scamper away – not before she heard Bardroy address the demon.

"Er, listen mate, I know you're our superior but it's not right, pickin' on women-"

Though vaguely concerned for Bard's safety, she did not care to stick around and hear the rest of the exchange.

She should have been asleep. It was somewhere over midnight and she was supposed to wake up at five in the morning. However, something heavy had settled itself deep in her stomach and would not shift. Her mind refused to silence and her heart would sporadically burst into fits of rapid pounding which seemed to shake her entire body. Though she was unable to explain why, she was overcome with bouts of crying. At first, the tears would come, then more until eventually her nose was running and she had to bite her lip hard to keep from making any noise. Then came the pounding headache when she exhausted herself. Finding sleep was impossible. Thus, she found herself reading the same page of a book over and over by the candlelight as the words refused to sink in. Her mind kept on drifting back to what Sebastian had said earlier. About the implications of his proclamation – that she in essence, was not allowed to leave. She was a prisoner. She had made clear her desire to find out what the reapers had to say and she had been brushed off.

Leaving was not an option for her at the moment anyway. There were outside factors which influenced her decision to stay and work for Ciel, and yet – being told she was not allowed to leave, cast a dreadfully sinister light on her already dire situation. With a shaky sigh, she snapped the book shut. She had to organise the thoughts raging inside of her.

Things she knew;

She has to guide Ciel and Sebastian through whatever mysteries come their way

If she gets anything wrong, there will be life or death consequences

Her mere presence is changing things

She cannot walk away from this situation

She growled, grabbing fistfuls of her hair. Then there was a knocking on her door and she froze. She suspected that she knew who it was – who else would be up at this hour? Had she been making too much noise? Was she in trouble? Quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks, she quickly made her way to the door. Her stomach tightened as she opened the door, dreading to see-

"Bard?"

His face was lit by golden light from the lantern he carried with him. Even though she was in a floor-length nightgown, the chef still averted his gaze. "Know s'not really appropriate, but you wasn't there at dinner. Was wonderin' if you was feelin' alright an' if you wan'ed these leftovers."

"O-oh, thank you." She accepted the plate from him, avoiding his icy blue eyes.

He glanced at her face, double taking as he took in her puffy eyes and reddened nose, which no doubt had bits of dried snot encrusted on. "Are you alright?"

She nodded, fighting back more tears. She couldn't find it within herself to offer a verbal response. The awful tightness in the back of her throat - made even tighter when Bard showed the slightest concern for her wellbeing - suggested that if she tried, she would fall into a state of hysterics.

"Hey, don't let Sebastian bother ya. 'E's a bit of a cunt, lets be honest, but he wouldn' 'arm ya. The master needs ya just as much as 'e needs the rest of us – you're no less important. I know that one word to the master and 'e'll give Sebastian a talkin' to." He shook his head. "Reality is, men that pick on women are too scared to pick on someone their own size. Tha's why he only gives you such an 'ard time. Even Mey don't see that side of 'im." He paused, a sudden realisation dawning on him. "When I was younger, about eleven or so, I 'ad taken a fancy for this young lass, Dorabella 'er name was. Wasn't very good at expressin' my feelin's at that age. So, I decided to pull on her pig tails, push 'er off 'er bike, yanno. Didn't really work mind, used to run screamin' every time she saw me. Anyway, maybe Sebastian has secretly taken a shinin' to ya."

She snorted, shaking her head at the thought. The notion was ridiculous, enough to bring a watery smile to her face. "Th-thanks, Bard."

"Try an' get some sleep. Don't need a fellow comrade bein' under the weather now." He gave her arm a solid pat, before he turned and left. She watched until he was out of sight, rubbing where his hand had smacked against in what was probably intended as an affectionate gesture. Although his words held little weight – she found her spirits momentarily lightened. However, as she wondered back to her bed, a feeling of cold dread washed over her as she knew that Sebastian had likely heard her and Bard's exchange. She sat cross-legged on her bed, picking numbly at the stone-cold mutton as she waited to be reprimanded. But he never came.

The following day, Blaire was feeling as drowsy as was to be expected after a mere three hours of sleep. To both her relief and bewilderment, when Sebastian had delegated the servants' tasks after breakfast, he had not given mention to Bard and Blaire's exchange the previous evening. When he kept her behind after the other servants hurried off, she realised why.

Bard caught her eye, smiling and sending her a wink and subsequently causing her to scowl at him from over Sebastian's shoulder, her face suddenly aflame at his insinuation. Following Blaire's gaze, the demon turned, his eyes a shade darker. "Off to work with you Bardroy." He turned back to Blaire with a raised eyebrow, guiding her further from the others retreating footsteps. "It would appear as though you were correct. I have traced Agni's whereabouts and traced him back to a mister Harold West Jeb. The young master is most pleased by this development."

"You did follow him? But I thought you weren't going to. You know… in case the reapers…"

He smiled wryly, causing a wave of paranoia to wash over her. "I've taken some precautions, not to worry. You will be safe here." His hand brushed against her shoulder as he passed. "Oh, and Blaire. Just so you are aware, romantic relations with your fellow servants are strictly prohibited."

"Wh- I'm not interested in any of my fellow servants, sir."

"Good." He turned and left, leaving Blaire standing alone and confused.

With a sigh, she gathered some cleaning supplies and wondered off to make herself busy. Before long, she had made her way to the unused bedrooms of the third floor – save for Ciel's own room. She noted the balcony overlooking the gardens and stepped out into the fresh air. With no reason in particular, she sat herself down on the balcony edge and swung her legs around so that they were dangling over the gardens below. She wasn't quite sure if a fall from this height would be enough to kill her, though she thought it would be easy enough to find out for herself. It would fix everything. It would be the best outcome for everyone – herself included. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the iron edge of the balcony. She thought about what could happen if she didn't die. Perhaps she would be crippled for life – and then what? Would Ciel and Sebastian continue to keep her as a little pet? What if she became brain damaged and was unable to articulate speech? Would she be left to die on the streets if she wasn't useful to them anymore? She blew out a breath. She wasn't sure that she could truly go through with it. However, she couldn't carry on the way she was. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear as the door was slowly pushed open behind her, until a quiet, gentle voice, called her name.

"Blaire? Come down from there please." Blaire glanced over her shoulder. It was Mey-Rin, her glasses perched upon her forehead, a sheen of sweat coating her face. She was panting slightly.

"I'm fine."

She heard shouting below her. It was Finny, waving his arms around frantically and no doubt telling her to come down, too.

"No, you aren't. You've not been eating with us lately. Been staying in your room all the time when you aren't working. We've all noticed. Now you're up here. Dangling from a balcony."

Blaire turned away, unable to face the other maid. Now, she was burdening the other servants too. She sighed shakily. Maybe she wouldn't die. Maybe, she was actually in a coma. Maybe, if she ended it all here, she would wake up and be home again. Could she do it? Would it hurt?

"Please, Blaire. Take my hand." Mey-Rin stood beside her now, sharp eyes fixated on Blaire, ready to lunge and grab hold of her if needed.

"Please, do in fact, take her hand. You aren't supposed to die until the late twenty-first century." The two females exchanged wide eyes, before they looked to where the sound of the monotonous voice had come from. He stood on the balcony directly beside the one Blaire was sat on. The sunlight reflected off of his glasses and upon his face was a stern – yet bored expression. In his hand was an extendable pair of freshly sharpened garden sheers. It was Will. "So, as you can imagine, it would be quite an inconvenience for us if you met your demise just now."

Blaire swallowed thickly. "Th-the late – what?!"

"Get. Down."

The late twenty-first century, he said? Her eyes widened. The reapers knew she wasn't from this time period! There was hope! Perhaps they could get her home! She grabbed a hold of Mey-Rin's still outstretched hand, only to pause. "What's that all over your hand?"

"I tripped and fell on my way upstairs. Knocked over the fire bucket and got sand over my hand." Mey-Rin explained gently, a kind smile on her face.

I wouldn't be able to make that up. This is definitely real… How could I have been so stupid?

She allowed herself to be pulled back over onto the balcony. The maid sent her a smile, before turning to the reaper, the smile slipping from her face. Her skirts were pulled up momentarily, taking Blaire off guard before the barrel of a gun was pointed in the direction of Will with a resounding click. Blaire's jaw slackened. Without a moment's hesitation, the gun was fired and Will had used his scythe as a vaulting pole to leap onto the roof, cracking the window in the process.

Blaire flinched back with a yelp, covering her ears with her hands. "Wh- Mey, what are you-!"

"Mister Michaelis informed us about scum like him. He said the people with the green eyes and spectacles are to be shot on sight. Said they're out to kill the master." She said coldly, moving to climb after the reaper. Blaire watched in awe as the maid scaled the mansion in a corset and skirts, handle of the gun held in her mouth. Soon after, Finny fallowed suit, having pulled himself up passed the balcony and after the two.

"No! Wait!" But it was too late, everyone was already out of earshot and Blaire did not possess the skillset or the stamina to chase after them. Still shaking from it all, Blaire raised her eyebrows, lips pouting. "Sebastian being a lying bastard. Nothing new. The servants actually being badass though… I never seen that coming." For one shining moment, Blaire felt inexplicably light and carefree, even as the sounds of tumultuous crashing and the firing of a gun resounded in the near distance. The reapers knew. The reapers knew…

When Sebastian found her, she was still sat on the floor of the balcony giggling. She looked up at him, a manic grin coming over her. "You know how you keep on threatening to take me back to Bedlam? You're full of shit, aren't you?!" She threw her head back and cackled, tears running down her cheeks. The thought of finally having the upper hand sent a wave of euphoria rushing over her. "You need me!"

"That's quite enough. You're making a show of yourself. I left the manor for a couple of hours and I return to hear that you were hanging on the edge of that balcony and a reaper was within an arm's reach from you!" She had never heard him raise his voice before.

She struggled to get to her feet. "What are you going to do about it? You won't kill me."

His eyes were now glowing blood red and his posture was as rigid as though he was trying to control himself. His voice came out in a deep growl, like she had heard so many times before, though he did not advance towards her. "Don't play games with me."

She sat back on the balcony, fully intending to prove her point. She scooted back so that her backside was hanging over the edge while both hands held on tight. "Can't kill me if I do it first, right?"

She yelped as she was hauled from the balcony and carried out of the room. The demon's jaw was set and his eyes, though no longer harbouring their menacing glow, were still visibly red around the centre. "Where are we going? Oy, Sebastian!" He ignored her questions as they marched through the town house, skilfully avoiding both servants and guests. Even when she prodded his cheek, he did not even glance down at her, nor did he place her down.

As her manic episode came to a screeching halt, she realised that perhaps she shouldn't have pushed his limits.

May be the last update for a while as between work and entering my final year of university, free time is likely to be sparse.

I'm aware that for some who read this story, English is not their first language and hence they rely on automatic translations. I'm not sure how well the automatic translator picks up on dialogue styles, so I've copied what Bard said in "proper English" so that everyone can know what he was saying;

I know it's not really appropriate, but you weren't there at dinner. I was wondering if you were feeling alright and if you wanted these leftovers.

Hey, don't let Sebastian bother you. He's a bit of a cunt, let's be honest, but he wouldn't harm you. The master needs you just as much as he needs the rest of us – you're no less important. I know that one word to the master and he'll give Sebastian a talking to. Reality is, men that pick on women are too scared to pick on someone their own size. That's why he only gives you such a hard time. Even Mey doesn't see that side of him. When I was younger, about eleven or so, I had taken a fancy for this girl, Dorabella her name was. Wasn't very good at expressing my feelings at that age. So, I decided to pull on her pig tails, push her off her bike, you know. Didn't really work though, she used to run screaming every time she saw me. Anyway, maybe Sebastian has secretly taken a shining to you.

Try and get some sleep. Don't need a fellow comrade being unwell now.