Derek and Meredith have been 'friends' *wink wink* for a while, but neither of them have the power to admit that they want more...until today.

Day 20! And it's only half way through November XD.

This came to me when I started writing some new stuff for Love (be proud, I'm really trying now XD), as Merder do experience the same thing that they do here.

As always, enjoy! :) (brownie points for anyone who can find the 2 references to real GA quotes)

"So-" Derek asked as his hands snaked around her waist. "What was so desperate that I had to rush over here? I bet I can't guess. Something beginning with S and ending with X?"

She accepted his kiss when he asked for it, but only smiled briefly when it was over. She didn't have the power to hold it for any longer.

"What's wrong?" He asked instantly, worried.

"I didn't call you for sex." She replied, which was the last thing he expected.

After Derek divorced his wife and moved to Seattle, he wanted a little non-committal fun. He rather quickly located one talented resident named Meredith Grey, who was more than happy to fulfil that need. Until today, apparently.

"But...you always call me for sex." He replied. He wasn't offended, just confused. "That's what we do."

That was a lie. It felt like it was just sex, but both of the pair enjoyed their chats and the feeling of simply being in each other's presence just as much, if not more.

"I know. But..." She swallowed. "Just...sit down on the bed."

He swallowed as he turned, and followed her request.

Meredith sat beside him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, placing a hand on her thigh.

She swallowed. "I don't know."

"You don't know if you're okay?" He asked, seeking clarification.

"We have a lot of sex."

"We do." He agreed, not quite sure what to reply to that.

"And we use protection." She continued. "We always use protection."

"Meredith, I don't sleep with other people so-" He tried, only to be interrupted.

"No, it's not-" She sighed. "It's not to do with that. It's-"

Crap.

He knew what it was to do with now.

"Condoms break." He stated.

"And my period was supposed to start four days ago." She added, knowing it would confirm the conclusion he had just come too.

"So...we made a baby. We-" He swallowed, hard. He was trying his best not to panic. "Meredith, we made a baby. Like a child. A living, human child."

"Yeah." She laughed, despite the fact that it wasn't funny; she was on the verge of a panic attack too. "Why do you think I called you so desperately?"

"But, I mean-"

"I don't know for sure yet." She said, already knowing what he was about to ask. "I've done the first bit but now...I'm just waiting for the timer to go off."

He nodded before sighing a rather stressed, "Okay."

She laughed in the same nervous way as she had a second before. "I felt like you should be here so that we can tell our bundle of joy about the day we found out they existed without having to lie. Well, lie that much."

"So you'd keep them?"

Her heart sank. "You wouldn't?"

"No. No, no, no- Crap. Um-" He swallowed. "It's your child- I mean- it's my child too but you're the only one that a child would...effect for nine months so- I mean, you're the one who chooses but- um...I'm definitely not asking you for that."

"So you would?"

"I'm not the one carrying it for nine months."

"But if you could choose...would you want the child?" She paused. "With me?"

He smiled, just a little. "Yeah. I think I'd like a child...and a closet where we put our clothes and a cup that we both put our toothbrushes in and a bed that we sleep in together and a shower that has both of our bottles in it and a sink that's always a mess because neither of us ever seem to do the washing up."

"But...Izzie does the washing up."

"I know she does right now. But, in my vision of the future-" He kissed her. "There is no George or Izzie or Alex to take up our bedrooms."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Meredith asked, mouth dropped.

"I'm saying...I'm saying I don't want this child with you because I'm morally obligated. I'm saying I want a child with you...because I love you. I'm saying I want to put a ring on your finger and proudly call you my wife one day, because I love you. I'm saying I want that dream house of mine to stop being a dream, and for you to be the one in the bed next to me, because I love you. I. Am. Saying...I love you, Meredith Grey."

She opened her mouth to speak, only for her phone to buzz. "That's uh- that's the test. It should be showing a result now."

His eyes trailed her as she stood and headed to the bathroom. Obviously they were both desperate for the result, but she did stand and run away awfully quickly. He didn't know what that meant. He didn't know what anything that she had done or said in the last minute or so meant either.

"Negative." Meredith stated as she returned to the bedroom from the toilet, staring at the three tests. "They...they're all negative."

"So...no child." He concluded, simply because he didn't know what else to say.

"I um-" She swallowed. "What you said..."

"I still love you." He smiled as he stood and met her, half way between the bed and the bathroom. "And I still want to marry you, and have kids with you, and build us a house, and settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I want a lifetime...with you, Meredith. I meant it. I meant every word, baby or no-baby. So-" He sighed. "Now you either have to break my heart, or make me the happiest man alive."

She smiled, and kissed him. Her hands wrapped around his waist this time, forcing him even closer to her body.

"Meredith-" He breathed. As much as he loved the kissing (in fact, he would be much happier with more kissing), he needed to know why she was kissing him.

She smiled. "The kiss means 'yes, I love you too', you idiot."