Chapter 13
"It's really cold," Grace grumbled as they walked along, Namjoon holding tightly to one hand, hot drink in the other.
"It's not too bad today," he said, looking at the sky. There wasn't much of a breeze but when he looked at her, he saw she was pointing to her head, beanie pulled down to cover her ears. "Oh. Yeah, sorry."
They weren't joking when they said she'd get cold without hair and even though they'd looked online, she hadn't found a wig that she liked enough to order. Her parents had said they'd pay for whatever one she wanted, trying a few on in a shop the hospital had recommended but there was something she didn't like about the idea, almost like she was pretending to be someone she wasn't by putting it on.
"It's OK," she answered. In the few weeks since the hair had come off, she had grown more used to it, not loving the downy fluff that was all she currently had growing but she now owned a bunch of cute hats that she swapped out and was making the most of it.
"Have they stopped bothering you at work," he asked as they strolled, slowly watching as the people buzzing around them going about their day while the couple walked.
"Yeah, I eventually had to ask them not to ask every few hours how I was. They amount of times Jungkook came up to ask if I wanted a hot drink or a blanket made me feel more like an invalid than I actually am."
"I think no-one really knows the right thing to do when someone's not well," Joon said, dragging her down to sit on the park bench so he could pull her close and warm her up a little as they sipped their drinks. "I know I was at a loss. Sometimes I still am."
"Yeah, I know he just has the best intentions, he's sweet really." She rolled her eyes at Namjoon's raised eyebrows. He'd never struck her as the jealous type but he's admitted it used to really bother him when the girls were joking about how good looking Jungkook was. Finding out he was very much loved up made him feel a little better and knowing her work colleagues were looking out for her helped too. "He's stopped now though."
"Yes, I can imagine you in full growl was intimidating," Namjoon laughed, so incredibly smitten with his girlfriend but knowing he'd been on the end of her wrath a time or two himself in the past.
"He might have whimpered a little when I really got going," she answered, remembering how he had looked a little traumatised when she'd finally lost it with him and snapped But she'd apologised afterwards and he'd been fine, she knew they were all just making sure she was alright and no-one stared at her hats anymore.
"You might've been known to whimper when we really get going too," he said casually, looking down at his drink as he smirked and she smacked him on the arm.
"Joonie," she laughed as they smiled at each other. The intimacy had been instant and easy and better than either could've thought. Exploring your best friends body wasn't something most people got to do but in lots of ways it made it easier, the trust already there.
"So how many more sessions until the chemo is over?"
"Just two more and then I have recovery and more testing. Am definitely looking forward to those weeks to be done. Feeling like vomiting has never been my favourite thing and months of it has been exhausting."
"I want to take you out on a date once that's all over," he said as Grace turned to him.
"You've taken me on lots of dates already."
"Not really," he answered. "Yeah, we've gone out lots but they've all been low key since you've been unwell or they're connected with your treatment and those don't count."
"I don't really mind what we do Joonie. You know I just enjoy being around you." She leaned in and they kissed, briefly as PDA wasn't either of their favourite things but it secretly gave him a thrill that anyone walking past would see them and know they were together, that she was with him. He still hadn't gotten used to it after months, maybe unconsciously years, of pining for her.
"Well, I'll plan something you can really enjoy," he said, kissing the side of her face before wrapping his arm around him as they leaned together.
"So, no art museums then," she said, teasing. It's not that she minded but it was definitely more his thing than hers.
"Not this time. I want it to be more memorable than that," he answered, leaning down to take her chin in his hand, lifting it so their lips can meet. It always made sparks fly on her insides when he touches her softly like that. And he's never even a little bit rough with her. At least, not unless she asks him to be, in very specific moments and even then she knows he holds back so there's no chance he is hurting her. And she loves him for it.
"It will be something to look forward to then," Grace said, enjoying the closeness as they only pulled a little away after their kisses, resting their heads together as they continued to watch the world go by.
Three weeks later the weather was even colder but they were driving on their way to the date Namjoon had planned for them. All she knew was that she needed to pack to stay overnight and she was very much looking forward to celebrating that her chemo was over. She would have some more tests to see where things were at next week but for now, she could pretend she was almost back to normal, ridiculously short hair aside. She wasn't sure if the longer fuzz that was starting to grow was better or worse than all of it being gone but she was grateful to see it appearing as it meant, before long, it would be long and lush again. Or at least that was her plan but for now she pulled the fluffy hat down over her ears to keep her head warm.
As they rounded the bend and he indicated into the driveway that led up to what looked like an old country manor, she turned to smile at him. "What's this?"
"Our weekend plans," he said, smile cute, shy, maybe a little unsure of whether she'd like it.
"Oh my gosh, are we staying here," she half yelled, reaching over to hug him as best she could through their seat belts.
"Sit back babe," Joon laughed at her excitement, pleased she was happy as he patted the hand flung around his neck, driving with one hand.
"What exactly is it," Grace asked, looking at the extensive grounds and huge house in front of her.
"It's a boutique hotel with an old English twist. They have a few things I've booked in for us to do, if you want to of course," he added, eyes quickly darting to hers.
"Joonie, I'm going to enjoy anything you planned, you know I like it when you take control," she said with a grin and he momentarily forgot how to drive, foot easing off the accelerator.
"I'm driving Grace," he said, a little louder than he normally spoke as her hand fell from his shoulder to land on his thigh, causing him a little more brain disconnect.
"Sorry, you're pretty easy to tease," she laughed, rubbing along his leg.
"You've always teased me."
"I guess it's just in a different way now," he said, glancing from her hand to the road, leg stiffening a little under her touch.
"It's fun," she replied, " getting a rise out of you." She was grinning at him as they pulled to a stop and Namjoon switched the car off.
"Fun for you. Difficult for me sometimes," he said, raising an eyebrow before he dove in to kiss all over her neck, earning a shriek as Grace wasn't prepared, a giggle escaping as he tickled her skin with his lips.
"Shall we go in," he asked and they got out of the car, walking towards the beautiful, heavy front doors which led to their weekend.
"The meal was delicious but that drive today took it out of me," Namjoon said and Grace wondered how much of that was true and how much of it was for her benefit. He likely suspected she was tired and needed an early night and she kind of did but she could also stay up and cuddle on the couch with him for a little longer. "Early night?"
"Sure, we have all day tomorrow to explore this place," she answered, snuggling closer for a moment.
"So now, we could explore each other," Namjoon said, a combination of sweet and serious look in his eyes. Grace buried her face against his side as he gently ran his fingers up and down her arms. "Grace?"
"Mmmmhhhhmmmm," she mumbled into his skin. "I'm just really happy right now Joonie."
"Me too Gracie, I'm glad we can have this time together. Now, lets get you to bed."
Dragging themselves off the comfortable couch, they walked hand in hand towards the bedroom, only letting go to find PJs and get ready for bed. Grace climbed in, hat still on. She was still so self conscious about her hair that she insisted on the lights being off before she took her hat off. Tonight she was going to sleep in it. It wasn't particularly warm outside so she wouldn't overheat in her sleep.
"Isn't that kind of like me sleeping with socks on," Namjoon asked, noticing as he climbed in next to her.
"I only complained once and I only noticed because they were a little scratchy when you linked your legs with mine," she said blushing a little at the memory.
"Ah, yeah well I was caught up in the moment and in a hurry so forgot about my feet," Joon replied, also thinking about the memory, They hadn't been together very long but their physical relationship was more than he could've imagined. "And I took them off almost straight away."
"Yeah you did. OK, well, I guess," she said and reached up to pull the hat off, slowly dragging it until it was loose in her hands and she turned, putting it on the nightstand before she glanced shyly back at Namjoon. All she could see when she looked at him was the sweet smile the stretched across his face and into his eyes.
"You're beautiful," he said, tilting his head to indicate for her to slide closer and into his arms which she did, his warmth enveloping her when his arms circled her body. She smiled her thanks, shy to hear his compliments. Sometimes it still shocked her that she felt this way about her best friend but even through the shock she knew how real it felt. Real and everything she wanted. He was her rock.
"Are you really tired Grace?"
"Only a little," she said, blinking up at the intensity in his eyes.
"Good," Namjoon answered, reaching to turn out the light, lips beginning the slow dance to cherish all of her, connecting with her neck.
His hands slid down to her hips, resting on the rise of them, marvelling at how they felt like they were the perfect fit for his hand. And then her top was thrown to the side as his was too, chests pressed together and hands exploring the surfaces that were becoming familiar but still made each other feel butterflies. He avoided touching her head because they'd talked about that and even though it didn't bother him, he wanted to make her as relaxed as possible when they were together, especially during intimacy, when she gave him everything she had.
And as the sounds that she saved just for him fell from her lips, he kissed her through them, taking each one into himself. The heat of their bodies was all encompassing, surrounding him, filling him and as they rocked together, building towards their release, he held her as close as he could, needing to feel every part of her. Grace was his person, more than anything she was the one he wanted to do this life with, for as long as she'd let him.
"I've never had High Tea before," Namjoon said. "Did you enjoy it?"
"It was delicious, very British. Thank you for booking it for us," Grace answered. They were walking through the grounds, a huge hedge maze in one section, deciding to lose themselves there for an hour or two to walk off their lunch. It was quite cold but they were bundled up, snugly warm in hats, gloves and scarves, oversized jackets sealing in the warmth from their bodies. It was cosy and perfect even as the cold air left their mouths and blew occasional small clouds around them.
"You're welcome. We also have the spa and sauna booked for later. We can add a massage too if we give them enough notice," he continued as they walked slowly together.
"Your massages are perfect Joon. I especially like it when you massage my -,"
"- jeez Grace, you really have no filter," he blushed, reaching his gloved hand to cover her mouth in case there were any others nearby. She grinned at him underneath the glove, cheeks lifted with her smile.
Gingerly pulling it away, peeling one finger at a time, just in case so finished her sentence, he dropped it to take her hand in his again. "Seriously though, the spa and sauna will be plenty. Sounds relaxing."
"This whole weekend is meant to be relaxing, just us, enjoying ourselves together. I want it to be free of stress."
"You have made the last few months bearable Joonie," Grace said, coming to a stop, tall hedges either side of them as they paused. "More than bearable though. You've gone out of your way to always take care of me, even when I didn't know I needed it or wanted to allow myself to accept it. Thank you oppa."
"It was always you Grace, you were the most important person in my world. It just took me a little to realise it but once I did, it was so obvious. And then all I wanted to do was make you happy."
"You did, you do," she answered, stretching up to wrap her arms around his neck, breathless cold kisses pressed to his lips as they warmed each other up, revelling in this new feeling of utter contentment that they brought to each other.
"Namjoon I-," Grace started, as they pulled away from each other and he cut her off.
"-I love you Gracie," he blurted out, the need to tell her building to the point where it exploded out of him and she gasped a little as he stole her words from her.
"I've always loved you," Namjoon said, lightly stroking Grace's cheek.
"I have too but not like this," she replied and he nodded.
"No you're right, not like this. I'm in love with you Grace. Every little bit of you."
"My elbow," she teased, looking up at him as he gazed down at her, dropping a gentle kiss to her lips and then another.
"Especially your elbow," he answered and she pouted.
"I was hoping there were other parts of me you loved more than my elbow."
"Like your eyes," he said, pressing his lips there, breathing out as he held her close, arm around her back to pull her against himself.
"Like my awesome personality," she said, slipping her hands into the pockets of his jacket to hold him near. She loved this feeling between them, she loved him, she was sure of it.
"Well, that's a given," he said, "and I very much like your mouth."
"These things," she asked, running her tongue along the bottom lip before biting down a little as she continued to look up at him. He hummed approval and maybe something else, desire in his eyes.
"Yeah, your smile," he grinned, cupping her cheeks on either side of her face as he pulled back a little to look at her.
"Joonie."
"Mmmmhmmmm."
"I want to go back up to the room," Grace said, voice warming him like no fire ever could.
"Are you tired baby," he asked and she blushed at the nickname and the fact that she was not in fact tired at all.
"Not remotely," she said honestly, firmly and so he'd know, she looked him in the eyes before standing up on her toes to kiss under his ear, while she breathed words into it. "But I do want to go to bed."
He exhaled heavily, the puff showing in the cold air, before swooping her into his arms and taking off at a run as she giggled at his enthusiasm. "Say no more Gracie," he managed to gasp out as he arrived at their room, putting her down only so he could reach for their room card, swiping it so they could go inside and close the world away for as many beautiful hours as possible.