249. Sorry-I've been sitting on this one at 75 percent done for a long while! If you're still reading, thank you!

Olivia nearly choked on her coffee when she read the news alert that flashed simultaneously on all their devices. One child dead at a local day care of a suspected fentanyl overdose. She immediately scoured the internet for more information, more details, and she reported them to Ed as she read. It eerily reminded her of a case years ago when she and the squad rescued children from a daycare that was being used as a meth lab. Ed remembered the case only because IAB had to conduct an investigation as a formality since Fin had been involved in a bodega shooting days earlier.

Ed kissed her cheek and gently pried the iPad out of her hands.

"That poor family," Olivia moaned.

"I know," Ed replied softly. "I know."

"These people who have to work and have to leave their kids…with whoever they can afford. It's so unfair. But, then again, we never know who will bring what into our kids' schools." Olivia stared at Ed intently. She was referencing an email they'd received at the end of last week reporting that a middle school student had been found in the possession of a vape pen. Both she and Ed agreed it wasn't a huge deal-kids will be kids-but this most recent news on its heels unsettled Olivia. She'd finally started to relax a bit when it came to the safety of Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt, and realizing it all was a false sense of security came as a gut punch.

Ed hugged her, looking to offer some comfort but also buying time because he wasn't sure exactly what to do next. Olivia had different levels of being upset, and this one seemed mild. Yet, he was always careful to avoid being dismissive. Having an it's no big deal attitude never worked with her. But, she bailed him out.

"We're going to lunch, right?" She took a deep, calming breath, and tilted her head back to look at him.

"Yeah," Ed replied brightly, "We'll go grab the twins and see what trouble they got into today and see what they feel like eating."

Olivia sighed. "Why do I always feel like I'm being judged when we walk in to get them?"

"Because we are," Ed replied, "But I don't care. Let 'em judge. There's nothing wrong with Maggie and Wyatt. They're kids…sort of unruly kids, but they're not bad."

"No…they're not," Olivia agreed, "They're actually very kind and compassionate."

"That's what's important."

"Yes," Olivia smiled, wrapped her arms around her neck, and kissed him. "Thank you."

Ed smiled. A few years ago, he would have asked what she was thanking him for, but now he simply told her she was welcome and kissed her again. He didn't want to sound condescending or patronizing, so he didn't say it aloud, but he was proud of her. Or, rather, he was proud of his ability to talk her down. There was a time when that very conversation could have taken a dark turn. But now, it was a blip, and they would probably forget all about it in a few hours.

…..

Fin grumbled a few lines inaudibly to himself before sneering that he didn't understand why they ever bothered to waste time with junkie witnesses. He shoved his hands into his pockets and matched Olivia's pace as they made their way back to the car where Olivia tossed him the keys. "I think we've done enough for the day," she said, squinting into the low late-afternoon sunset. "I'll see you in the morning."

Surprised, Fin blinked and looked from the keys in his hand to her and back again. "It's early. Want to grab a drink before you head out?"

"Rain check? I have to…well, I guess I can tell you. I'm having dinner at Ed's mom's this Sunday and I feel like I need to bring something. So, I have a little shopping to do before I get Noah." Olivia narrowed her eyes at Fin's teasing grin. "That's why I didn't want to tell you."

"C'mon, Liv, you know you can tell me anything," he replied, "I like seeing you like this. Leaving work to go buy a present for Ed Tucker's mother? Now that's a look we don't see every day of the week."

"You have a point there. I would say don't get used to it, but I'm not sure that I mean it."

"I'm happy for you, Liv. We all are."

"So you're all still talking."

"Yeah, I don't think it's gonna get old."

Olivia pressed her lips together and smiled. "I suppose there are worse things a squad can talk about behind the boss' back," she took a deep, contemplative breath. "Now, what to get for my eighty-year-old hostess?"

Fin held up his hands. "I'm no help in that department, but I hear you can never go wrong with a bottle of liquor." He laughed at Olivia's furrowed brow, "Or wine…"

"If I don't find something in an hour or so, we'll go with that." Olivia gave him a little wave, "I'll see you Monday."

"Have a good weekend, Liv." Fin watched her walk away like a proud father before he turned to get in the car.

…

An amused Sarah watched as Brooke stalked around her apartment, organizing and reorganizing books, magazines, and toys. Every few minutes she would peer out of the window at the unmarked car parking across the street and see the plainclothes officer staring back at her. "At least they're actually watching," she muttered at one point. Sarah agreed. It always seemed, she told Brooke, that in the movies and cop shows those detail people regularly fall asleep or go for a coffee or otherwise shirk their duties.

"Why don't we go out?" Sarah asked. "You're going nuts in here cooped up all day. You're not even going to school."

"This semester's online," Brooke said, "And I'm not supposed to go out. Only in case of an emergency."

Sarah eyed her sister as she dusted a photo frame for at least the fifth time in an hour and murmured, "I think we're there."

Brooke pretended not to hear her but heard her and groaned as she looked out at the street again. It was a beautiful early spring day, and she hated that she hadn't taken Sofia outside to enjoy it. The detail guy would not follow if she left, but he would stay. Now that one of the attorneys on Sonny's team had recused himself, Sonny had become a more integral, and visible, part of the prosecution. As a result, Brooke and Sofia were prisoners in their own home. Sonny was working so much he barely made it back to Brooklyn for a few hours at a time.

"Maybe we could go somewhere…for a little while. There's a place a few blocks away that has an outdoor beer garden in the back. I bet it's open."

"You had me at beer garden," Sarah said, popping up from the couch. "I'll go wake up Sof."

A few minutes later they were out of the building with Sofia walking between Brooke and Sarah because Brooke didn't feel like bothering with the stroller for such a short trip. Sofia hurried along at a trot and seemed happy to be outside and have some sense of freedom. Brooke's eyes darted around warily. She felt foolish, but she didn't know what to expect or if there was someone lurking around the next corner waiting to kidnap her or Sofia or all three of them. She sort of wished the detail guy was following them.

Sarah, on the other hand, strode along without a care in the world. Every few yards she would pick up Sofia and hug and kiss her in an effort to move a little faster. She looked around, but not to suss out bad actors. Rather, she gushed about how peaceful it was and how perfect the neighborhood was for kids. "It was smart to move here," Sarah said, "It's the perfect combination of the city and, well, a smaller town. Sort of. You get the point."

"I like it," Brooke replied, "I didn't think I would. I think mostly because we're in the walk up. But maybe eventually we can get a townhouse. I don't think I'd want to go any further away from the city. Or out of it."

"Does Sonny still talk about moving back to Staten Island?"

"Not since I told him I would never move there."

Sarah laughed. "Well, I suppose that'll shut it down."

"Does Justin wish he was closer to his mother?"

"No. And his mom isn't that far away. She actually takes the train down once a week or so to have lunch with him or dinner with us, but if she does dinner we Uber her back. Staten Island? There's the whole ferry thing…"

"There is a bridge."

"But it's all so farrrr."

"Wait," Brooke screwed up her face, "I was so wrapped up in detail guys and cleaning my house for the zillionth time I didn't even ask…why aren't you at work?"

"I have to take some vacation days," Sarah explained, "I have too many saved up because apparently I'm always working, so they made me take four days this month."

"Oh that's horrible," Brooke replied with good-natured sarcasm, "And, um, I don't recall you always working?"

Sarah shook her head as if she were ashamed of her own good fortune. "We're so flexible now," she said, "I don't even have to go into the office if I don't want to, but I like to, I mean, I have a great office and I don't work well at home or at a coffee shop or wherever. But I've been doing so much with international companies, I have weird hours. Like, if I have to get on a call with London, I might be up at three, work a little while, and be done by early afternoon. And, let's face it. In my job, if you're making money, no one cares where you're making it from."

"One day I will understand what you do."

Sarah playfully elbowed Brooke and replied, "One day I'll figure out how to explain it to you. Ah! Beer garden! Here we are."

Being the middle of the day, it was no surprise there were only three or four other patrons. The bartender waved them in and back to the small open area in the back which was still enclosed by heavy plastic. Nevertheless, it let in the sunlight and the artificial grass and picnic tables created a bright, summery ambience. Sofia immediately started yanking off her shoes, and Sarah helped her finish the job.

The sisters ordered beers and the bartender generously made Sofia a mocktail even though there weren't any of the sort on the list. Sofia also had little interest in food or drink because there was an aquarium situated in the opposite corner of the room and she quickly became obsessed with watching the fish swim around..

"Do you remember our neighbor-what was his name?-who had the aquarium and the water bed and all those cool things?" Sarah asked Brooke.

"Oh, yeah…I don't, um, Wayne? Warren? Wesley?"

"Wesley! Yes, it was Wesley. I was so jealous of him."

"Oh fuck," Brooke hissed under her breath.

"What?" Sarah's eyes quickly grew huge and she jerked her head in every direction looking for a weapon-wielding assailant or other nefarious person.

"It's mom's birthday."

"Oh shit."

"I don't think we remembered it last year," Brooke mumbled. She stared at Sofia, wishing her daughter bore some resemblance to Angela, as if it would make up for the birthday snub, but Sofia looked exactly like Sonny. There was no question she was his daughter.

"Do you think Dad remembers it?" Sarah asked.

"Does it make it better for us if he doesn't?"

Sarah countered, "Does anyone know that we remembered it or not?"

Brooke looked defeated. "I do. It's really bad, Sarah. Can you imagine if she forgot our birthdays?"

"I'm pretty sure that she did once or twice. And she was the mom. Not the kid. The mom is supposed to remember the birthdays. And," Sarah paused because she knew the question she was going to ask would be painful, "Do you really miss her?"

Brooke's jaw dropped. She started to respond but clammed up, tried to speak, clammed up, and then started to speak again. "I, uh, of course I miss her."

"You miss her or you wish she weren't dead?"

Brooke couldn't believe Sarah's line of questioning and wondered if there was any chance she was drunk after the two sips of beer she'd had. "I miss her, Sarah," Brooke said firmly. "It's hard to not have a mother when you have a kid of your own. It sucks knowing Sofia will never know her. It sucks that Aidan is so fucked up and doesn't have her. Or Dave."

"Yes, it sucks. But what you said-it's not missing someone. It's just a shitty circumstance."

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Brooke asked.

"Because I don't miss her," Sarah replied. "If she were still alive I don't think I would see her often if at all."

"You're saying that because she made you get those meds."

"She used me, Brooke," Sarah shot back, "She used me to kill herself and didn't even have the fucking decency to let me in on the whole thing. At least tell me. I'm all for assisted suicide. I did a fucking essay on it in high school which won an award at a ceremony she attended! Anyway, but, no, that's not why. I was never close to mom. She wasn't someone anyone ever got close to I don't think. And I don't understand that at all. My whole life I've wanted to be close to people. Well," Sarah threw her hands up and almost knocked over her stein, "That explains a lot."

"It does."

Sarah sighed. "Let's not argue over this. What's done is done. And we can both feel how we want to feel about our mother. But, hey," she raised her glass, "Cheers and happy birthday mom."

Brooke nodded. "Cheers. Happy Birthday. Hope…well, if you're looking down, you know we're okay."

"And we're sorry about last year," Sarah added.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "If she has any power over us wherever she is," she said, "We're fucked."

…

The next Friday afternoon, Olivia was in a festive mood and suggested to Ed that they invite the family over for dinner and a movie. Dinner, she added, could be takeout, and they could do a double feature and put the twins, Noah, and Sofia in bed after the kids' movie. Ed agreed, Olivia started the group text, and the plans were put in motion. The only person who declined was Caroline, citing card club. She initially offered to skip, but Olivia promised she, Ed, and the kids would come to Riverdale for Sunday dinner as a makeup date, so all was well. When the guests started to arrive, Noah and the twins ran to the door to greet each group, and the trio shouted with extra surprise when they saw G accompanying Justin and Sarah.

"GEEEEE!"

"GEEE! GEEE! GEEE!"

"Hey, G, how are ya! Long time no see!" That was Noah who joined his brother and sister in a group hug with G, who appeared overwhelmed as she always did and near tears at the reception.

Olivia rushed over. "Noah, Maggie, Wyatt," she said patiently, "Let G come in and at least take her coat off!"

"I'm sorry," Noah said, "G, I can hang up your coat."

"Oh, um, thank you Noah," G replied and hurriedly removed her peacoat and handed it to him. Noah strained to reach the lowest hook, but he managed, using absolutely all of his height and a bit of an upward toss, to successfully hang the coat.

"We're so glad you came," Olivia said to G as she draped her arm around her shoulder and led her into the apartment. "How have you been?"

"Really good," she replied, "Very busy but good." G saw Olivia's skeptical expression and added, "Really, seriously, I'm good."

"Okay," Olivia gave her a squeeze which, unbeknownst to her, almost made G cry again. "Ed's the bartender and Noah's making smoothies…which can be spiked, so, the Tucker cafe and bar is open."

"G, I got mango, pineapple, banana…strawberry!"

"How about you surprise me?" G asked and then whispered to Olivia, "And I guess a shot of vodka as an add on?"

"You got it."

Once Brooke and Sofia arrived, the adults congregated around the kitchen island and the kids played nearby. As usual, a bewildered Sofia looked on as Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah were playing. But, seconds before Olivia was going to cue Noah to include her, Wyatt went over and grabbed Sofia's hand. "You be da boo dino, Sof," he said, handing her a gigantic stuffed T-Rex. "You keep OW'da'E'mies."

Sofia nodded, apparently understanding exactly what to do and how to keep the enemies away from the other dinosaurs. .

With the food ordered and the little ones occupied, the adults migrated to the dining table and took some time to catch up on one another's lives.

"So," Sarah said, "What kind of trouble have the twins been in at school lately?"

"Did we tell you about them calling out the wrong letters?" Ed asked, almost proudly.

"Yes. That was a good one." Sarah noticed G looking clueless and explained, "The twins were saying C when the letter was Z or something like that and generally pissing off the teacher."

G started laughing and then apologized.

"It's okay," Olivia said, "We, uh, well, it was a little funny."

"A lot funny," Ed clarified. "I gotta read you the emails. They're so formal. Mr. and Mrs. Tucker, today, Maggie and Wyatt, during literacy, they were being silly…" Ed had to stop to laugh before continuing to mimic the teachers, "Please emphasize that the alphabet is serious and they should be, too."

"Ed," Olivia interjected, "That is not what they said."

"I paraphrased. And I have to point out," Ed continued, "We pick them up every day. They could've told us in person. Instead they have to email. Probably keeping a paper trail. They're doomed."

"Is the preschool in Noah's school?" Brooke asked.

"No," Olivia replied.

"Well, that's a plus then. They'll start Kindergarten with a clean slate."

"And quickly dirty it up from what I'm hearing," Justin joked.

Sarah gently punched Justin in the shoulder. "Hey, you watched the twins for a week when we were in Ireland. Maybe you're partially to blame for this behavior!"

"That was like six months ago," Justin protested. "And they were perfect angels."

"Oh, Justin," Olivia popped up and jogged to the freezer. She pulled out a huge box of Uncrustables sandwiches. "Look what we have to buy now!" She returned to the table before the twins could see the box, "That's all you, buddy."

"Guilty," Justin replied with a grin. He turned his attention to the twins and called them over. They came running but not without looking annoyed they were taken away from their toys. Justin pulled out his phone and zoomed in on a sentence from a news article. "What's the first letter?"

Olivia swore Wyatt rolled his eyes as he answered, correctly, "H."

"Maggie, what's this one?"

"ELLLL!" She shouted.

"Da word love," Wyatt added.

"Omigod," Sarah gasped. "He's reading!"

From the play area, Noah informed her that the twins only knew some words and couldn't actually read yet. Except, he clarified, for Noon Balloon which Wyatt knew by heart but "it's not really reading."

Olivia smiled, and, under her breath, remarked, "Someone's sensing he's going to have competition soon," she said. "But he still tries to teach them every second he gets."

"He's a good brother," Brooke said.

"Yes he is."

"So, Livvie, when are you going to Italy?"

Ed pretended to be insulted. "Uh, I'm going too…I'm the one planning it?"

Sarah, with a grin, ignored him, "When is it? May?"

"No, the second week in April," Olivia replied and patted Ed's arm, "And your Dad deserves a ton of credit. He has planned the whole trip. Everything's booked. All I have to do is get on the plane."

"Who's watching the kids?" Sarah asked.

"Well…" Olivia bit her lip. She was a bit ashamed that they were about five weeks out and she hadn't made childcare plans yet. "We were thinking…we'll be gone over Noah's spring break, so, would anyone be willing to watch the kids…at the beach house? It would be so much easier than here. I think."

Brooke immediately loved the idea. "We could all go," she said, "That would be so much fun. And, Olivia, I know you chose that week because Noah wasn't in school, so, it's perfect."

"Once again," Ed interjected, "I am part of the decision making process."

Like her sister had done, Brooke mostly ignored her father. She did shoot a quick grin his way before continuing to make her point. "My classes are online this semester, so I can definitely go. And hopefully I can drag Sonny away from work, at least for a few days. I'm in."

Sarah agreed. Justin predicted he, too, would be free. With at least three adults confirmed, Olivia was satisfied. "Thank you so much," she said, "We'll get down there in the next couple of weeks to make sure everything's in order. Gosh…that's such a relief."

"Livvie," Sarah screwed up her face, "Was there a doubt in your mind that we would help?"

"Not at all," Olivia leaned forward on her elbows, "After the first of the year, time flew…it came up fast and I think your Dad and I just assumed you would be available…we shouldn't have done that."

"Well, we are," Brooke said, "And I'm already excited about it."

"Yes!" Sarah said, "It's like a week-long slumber party!"

Ed regarded her sternly, "Don't get too crazy. We need the house and the children intact when we get back."

Brooke chuckled, "Don't worry, Dad. No crazy parties."

"Well, don't speak too soon, Brookey," Sarah teased. "Noah! Come here!"

Noah rushed over, and, instead of simply stopping at the edge of the table to hear why he was summoned, he hugged Sarah. She kissed him on the head and told him the big news. While he might not have been traveling to Italy (to his great annoyance), he would be spending spring break at the beach with, as Sarah characterized herself and the others, the coolest people in the world.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed, "Dat's gonna be AWESOME!" He hugged Sarah again, fist-bumped Justin, and went back to the twins and Sofia. Even for a boy as perceptive and mature as Noah, spring break seemed very far away and he had other things to do in the meantime.

"And, G, you come too," Sarah said.

G smiled graciously, "I'll try…I think I have an event that first weekend."

"Then you can unwind at the beach after!"

G nodded. She wished she could get used to being included in all the Tucker plans, but she still felt herself tear up whenever they included her in their plans. Gathering her emotions, she smiled and admitted some beach time after a major event would be the perfect culmination to a stressful few weeks.

Suddenly, the enthusiastic planning conversation was interrupted by a shrill scream and thunderous door slam from the corridor outside the apartment. Everyone froze and stared at one another. Maggie and Wyatt rushed to Olivia. Noah ushered Sofia to Brooke and then joined his brother and sister. Ed stood up and started for the door.

"Ed, don't," Olivia warned as she felt the rush of police instincts rumble through her body and mind. They were safe inside. There was no need for them to investigate. And she told Ed so in a hushed voice. Then, she reassured the kids everything was okay. "We're going to call our friends and ask them to come and see who needs help," she said.

Ed made the call and then made another to the doorman who hadn't been notified of any disturbance even though, in the span of a few minutes, there had been more screams and more thuds.

"This is weird," Brooke said, "This is such a quiet building."

Everyone nodded in agreement. In fact, Ed and Olivia had chosen the apartment specifically because, due to building design, it was located almost in seclusion at the end of a hall by itself with only four other apartments on the other side of the elevator. They had only seen their neighbors a handful of times.

"C'mon," Ed said after he finished talking to the doorman, "Let's start the movies," he winked at Olivia, "We're good. Officers are on the way."

…

Later that night, Olivia stirred awake when she heard the bedroom door open. In the dark she could make out a child-sized figure, and after blinking a couple of times she saw that it was Noah. "Sweet boy," she whispered as she sat up, "What's wrong?" Noah rubbed his eyes. He appeared half-asleep and a little confused, so Olivia scooped him into her arms and carried him into the living room. She left Ed lightly snoring in the half-empty bed.

Olivia held him like an infant in the plush armchair and waited until he restarted the conversation. When he did, he explained he'd woken up, heard a noise (which Olivia assumed was probably the ice maker) and remembered the scream and the door slam from earlier.

"That was scary, wasn't it?" Olivia said softly.

Noah nodded.

"But, the good thing is, whatever happened, well, the people got the help they needed to calm down and stop being angry, because we didn't hear anything else."

"What were dey fighting about?"

"I don't know," Olivia said, "You know…how when we're out…we see so many people?"

"Uh-huh."

"So many people, and we don't know what's happening with them. We don't know if they're happy or sad or angry or scared. That's why I love that you and your brother and sister are kind and nice to everyone. Because we don't always know what's wrong…" Olivia trailed off, wondering if her talk was too abstract for Noah to understand, but he nodded again.

"Those people should come to morning meeting," Noah said, sounding more chipper and very much awake, "B'cause we have a time when we can say if we're upset or sad…or happy! We don't haveta say anything, but if we want we can."

"That's a good thing. I'm glad you have morning meeting." Olivia smiled to herself as she imagined the twins in a couple of years participating in their own class' morning meeting and she wondered what they would say and if it would be the truth. They had already proven they were willing to be disingenuous for entertainment's sake.

"Yeah…" Noah suddenly sounded tired again. He yawned and Olivia suggested going back to bed, but he shook his head. "C'we stay here 'til I fall asleep?"

"Sure, sweetheart." Olivia held him more tightly and stayed awake for at least an hour while he snoozed against her. She didn't know how much longer her son would need her in moments like these, so she was content to savor every second.

….

#Tuckson