CHAPTER NINE
Nick's car races down a dark, desolate desert highway. The guys look tired, stressed, and most of all, scared.
"Yep, just driving out to the middle of desert to meet some mobsters, what could possibly go wrong…?" Nick says through grit teeth, hands harshly gripping the wheel.
"So…what's *yawn* our plan?" Ari asks, half asleep. Resting his head against the hard interior of the now raised car walls.
"I think we should tell Mr. Chu that we couldn't get the money, and that if he was down with it, we could just create a payment calendar–"
"We're gonna give Chuey a dummy bag of money, grab Dylan, and make a run for it."
"Yes, good! What an airtight plan–!" Nick exclaims, somehow sounding both sarcastic and like a genuine opinion at the same time.
"Robby Chu doesn't do payment calendars, Nick! Trust me: this is our only shot of getting Dylan back! Left turn!" Nick skids onto Highway 12-- a barely labeled dirt road. Things are quickly going from bad to worse…
SUNDAY, 6:04 AM
The first days of dawn streak across Venice Beach. Maya exits her bedroom in her raggedy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle PJ's, looking like she barely slept at all. Her father is up, cooking all of her favorite breakfast foods to cheer her up.
"Any word from Dylan?" She asks her dad, who promptly responds to her question with the word 'nope.' Popping the 'p' sound in the end for extra effect.
"I know you don't want to hear it, Mai, but you deserve better." He says without so much as even a second thought. Maya frowns, overwhelmed with stress.
"I'm sure everything's fine. They're all smart, capable adults…"
Meanwhile, in Vegas
Iggy is delicately laying cash atop the piles of dirty clothing inside his duffle bag, attempting to create an illusion of a bag full of money. He's pulling some stray 20's, 5's, as well as 1's collectively gathered from everyone's wallets, internally panicking at how unconvincing the display still looked.
"This all the cash we got?" He asks, and the others nod their heads. Flashing their now empty wallets.
The Caddy is parked next to The Mile 26 Marker in the middle of the windy desert which was far enough for the Las Vegas skyline to just barely be visible in the distance. Iggy very delicately zips up his duffle bag so as to not mess up the dollar bills, and places it on his lap.
"This is the dumbest plan ever."
"Nick, would it kill you to think positively for once in your life???" Nick rolls his eyes, having put up with this exact same platitude verbatim for all his life due to being a natural born realist. He slumps against his Caddy, just kind of accepting the fact that they were doomed and that there was nothing they could do about it.
"Here they come…" Ari says as a white Yukon steadily approaches them on the far end of the horizon, kicking up a trail of dust within its wake. The guys tense up, loudly gulping.
"Nicholas?"
"Yeah?"
"I left an emergency bottle of tequila in your glove box. Get it out please." Instead of questioning why Iggy thought it was appropriate to hide an alcoholic drink inside of a car that wasn't even his, Nick just wordlessly opens the car door and rummages around the glove box until he feels a cool bottle of Patron brush against his fingertips. He opens it, takes a swig, and then passes it to Iggy who drinks a healthy dose before Ari has to nudge him to pass the bottle. Iggy hesitantly rips his mouth away from the bottle and hands it over to Ari who just briefly takes a sip before screwing the top back on. He's never really liked the flavor of Tequila, to be honest, but he also didn't want to be left out either. Besides, it definitely felt like he was gonna need a little in his system in order to deal with the car that was drawing ever closer to them.
"I can't believe this is how we're going to die…" Nick dryly chuckles to himself, making the others raise an eyebrow at him. The Yukon pulls up about ten yards away, and then the car stops, with the doors flinging open soon afterwards. A singular black boot hits the ground dramatically, followed by the other foot as well as two more pairs of feet coming from different sides of the vehicle. The gang stand up next to the beat up Caddy, attempting to appear menacing with their arms crossed over their chests and their faces contorted into wild snarls. A non-visible rattlesnake rattles in the background as Chu and his False Canadian Henchmen lean on the Yukon exactly parallel from the trio.
"Let's see the money!" Chuey says, immediately getting straight to the point. Iggy gently holds up his duffel bag.
"Let's see Dylan!" Robby nods at his henchmen, who both go to open the back door of the Yukon. They pull out a guy with a plastic Gucci Bag over his head and rope tied around his wrists. He struggles a bit, alarming the gang.
"Jesus, what'd they do to him?"
"Pull off the Gucci bag!" Iggy orders as Chuey yanks the bag off the guys head to reveal-
Some random Mexican guy???
"Um guys…has Dylan always looked so… bald and brown?" Ari asks, making Nick and Iggy facepalm themselves.
"No, you idiot! That guy is the other Dylan!!"
"Yeah, how do you not know what our Dylan looks like?! He's dating one of your sisters for fucksake!"
"Okay, okay. I was just confused is all. No need to be mean!" Ari childishly covers his eyes with his hands as Nick and Iggy heave out a large sigh.
"What do you guys mean by 'Other Dylan', I saw you with this guy myself?" Chuey pinches the sides of his nose bridge, quickly losing patience with these three bozos.
"No, that guy is Roger's friend and a cake designer. Our Dylan is not." Nick breaks it down for him as if this information was all obvious. Chuey sneers.
"I told you, man, I'm Dylan Delano! I barely even know these guys!" Other Dylan shouts, fruitlessly attempting to wiggle his hands out of their rough, ropey embrace.
"Yeah, you got the wrong Dylan, man!" Iggy says, redundantly.
"You sure?!"
"Yeah, man, our Dylan is white!"
"But you were partying with this guy at my birthday thing!"
"I don't know what to tell you, bro, this isn't the Dylan we requested!" Iggy smirks. Perhaps thinking positively was working out for them.
"Well. I apologize for the mix-up…" Chu slowly draws his humongous gun. "But I'm still gonna need my money."
"Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God…" Ari says as the gang slowly retreat.
"Don't move, James." Iggy freezes, duffle in hand as Nick and Ari move towards the back of the Caddy. 'Hiding.' "Now please, give me my money."
"..." Iggy anxiously clutches onto the bag as large globs of sweat roll down his face.
"Don't be stupid, son. You–" Just then Iggy speed walks up to the shiesty Asian man, reels back his bony left fist, and throws a hard left hook, which slams Chuey square in the stomach! And-
Absolutely nothing happens, (at least to Chuey that is) since Chuey's stomach is shredded to the Gods. Iggy on the other hand, was waving and blowing on his hand to get rid of the pain Chuey's lean build inflicted on it. This doesn't happen for long as Chuey pistol-whips him in the mouth, splitting one of his lips open to the point where it starts exploding blood. Iggy soon unceremoniously collapses onto the ground.
"Christ that hurts!" Chuey ignores him as he confiscates the now unattended duffle bag. He hefts it up and it feels wrong so he decides to check it, but just as he's about to unzip it, Ari comes charging at him!
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Chuey raises his gun but Ari tackles him to the ground first! The gun flies out of Chuey's grasp as they wrestle for it, kicking up dust everywhere within their wake. His two henchmen fumble for their guns, but have a difficult time since their shooting hands are covered in casts. Upon seeing all this go down, Mexican Dylan literally makes a run for it. Rushing as fast as possible towards the Vegas skyline.
Nick looks around, not sure what to do until he spots the keys in the ignition of the car. He hops in and fires up the engine!
"Get in, guys!" He yells at the currently preoccupied Ari and the immobile Iggy. This does, however, get the attention of the two Fake Canadians. Who begin firing poorly aimed bullets in Nick's general direction. Nick ducks down, terrified, and floors the gas!
"I'm being shot at! I'm being shot at!"
Chuey somehow throws off Ari's much bulkier frame and recovers his gun, panting. He cocks the weapon and aims it at Ari's face with a morbid look on his own. Not noticing the couple thousand pound four wheeler zooming right behind him.
"BOSS! LOOK OUT!!!" The henchmen both scream in tandem, ceasing fire. He doesn't hear them.
"I really didn't want to kill anyone, TODAY-" He shouts the last part having been hit! Chu shouts, body flying a good ten yards away before growing limp. Both the guys and the henchmen freeze, shocked.
"Oh my god, is he okay?!"
"Who cares! Go, go!!!" Nick floors the car while rolling down the rooftop, allowing Iggy and Ari to jump in! For some reason, instead of taking Chuey and following after them in the Yukon, The Henchmen decide to just fire after them. Only managing to take out the tail-lights, the rest of what was left of the windshield, the headrests, etc. but still missing the gang. All of whom were ducking down until they were sufficiently far away. They all sit up, amazed and out of breath.
"I can't believe you just saved my life!"
"I can't believe you just drove into Robby Chu!" Nick just continues to look forward, his eyes as wide as saucers.
"He's gonna be really upset!"
"Yeah, I was just thinking that!" Nick exclaims, both terrified and excited at the same time.
Meanwhile…
The sleek, Chinese mobster weakly lifts his head off the desert ground. Coughing. Both of his henchmen waddled up to him with highly concerned looks on their faces.
"Boss, Boss, you okay?!" Chuey spits out a glob of blood along with one of his teeth, obviously not okay.
"Find James...kill…him." He weakly demands, with his voice all craggly like a radio station in the boonies, but still intelligible for his dumb as rocks henchmen to understand. To which they both nod their heads, perfectly synched.